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Word game fun Friday!

Wizard of Id, 2/15/13

I think when you’re correcting the depiction of a Scrabble game played in a faux-medieval magic world in a daily newspaper comic, you’re officially that guy, and lord knows I don’t want to be that guy, so let me just very briefly point out that if you’re going to say the word you just played in Scrabble aloud, you’re probably going to say the point total rather than the number of letters, that you can only play seven letters at a time, and that the Wiz could conceivably be building off of “ex” or “on” or “ion” but even if he is there doesn’t appear to be a a nine-letter word on the board. Also, I know significantly less about the rules of magic in the Wizard of Id than I do about Scrabble, but I do know a little bit about the rules of comics narrative, and I think that if you have a character complaining about the proximity of a magic wand in panel two, said magic wand should at least be visible in panel one.

Crankshaft, 2/15/13

Most of the time when people ask for crossword puzzle help they do give a letter count for what they’re looking for, but the rules of Crankshaft narrative involve everyone talking at cross-purposes and getting irritated at each other, so I’m willing to let this pass.

Mary Worth, 2/15/13

Obviously the coming drama here will revolve around Mary not wanting to leave her comfy Santa Royale home to go to New York and learn how to be a pastry chef, because why would she, but I would certainly enjoy a retooled Mary Worth that focuses on Mary and John trying to make it in the big city. The first episode would revolve around their discovery that $10,000 doesn’t come close to covering eight months of rent in a two-bedroom New York apartment.

Marvin, 2/15/13

Marvin: not just a comic about a baby who soils himself constantly! It’s also about racist dogs.

116 responses to “Word game fun Friday!”

  1. Notebooked
    February 15th, 2013 at 6:14 am [Reply]

    Harsh, Marvin.
    In today’s Luann, Luann’s computer has achieved sentience, and is now competing with her real-life lover for her affections. Sadly, the computer is the means to their communication, and can only watch as she falls for another while looking deeply, heartfully, into his monitor.

  2. Rocky Stoneaxe
    February 15th, 2013 at 6:30 am [Reply]

    The first episode would revolve around their discovery that $10,000 doesn’t come close to covering eight months of rent in a two-bedroom New York apartment.

    If Mary and John didn’t mind roughing it, they could always squat rent-free
    in Margo’s burned-out apartment building.

  3. Professional Mole
    February 15th, 2013 at 6:36 am [Reply]

    Come on, Josh, we both know that the wand is metaphor for inappropriate boners. Don’t you know your Freud?

  4. cholling
    February 15th, 2013 at 6:38 am [Reply]

    I’m going to call this “Fruhlinger’s Wand” from now on: If a magic wand explodes a Scrabble set in the third act, it should at least be visible in the first.

  5. Spunde
    February 15th, 2013 at 6:54 am [Reply]

    MW: When you’re the world’s best, and you let the Santa Royale Cake-Off get their hooks into you to the tune of a ten month apprenticeship for whichever local pair of mugs have best learned how to hand-carry a cake ten feet, then yes, you’ve made some bad choices.

  6. Dartpaw86
    February 15th, 2013 at 6:55 am [Reply]

    Lately I’ve been reading Marvin and Bitzy’s voices’ in Stewie and Brian’s voices. It fits perfectly.

  7. Shran
    February 15th, 2013 at 7:17 am [Reply]

    Crankshaft: Something seems to be wrong with Crankshaft today. Normally his response for something that starts with “L” would be along the lines of – “Lady, you are a worthless pile of stupid! You disgust me.” Is he lightening up? Say it ain’t so Cranky!

  8. Broccoli
    February 15th, 2013 at 7:24 am [Reply]

    MW: The Santa Royale Cake Carrying Contest exudes such a powerful air of lame that I’m not surprised even the host has to carry around a piece of paper reminding him that, in fact, the contest rules!

  9. Liam
    February 15th, 2013 at 8:05 am [Reply]

    MW-I know the perfect apartment that Dill can live in while in New York. It just went through a massive fire full of pink smoke but a little paint on the walls and you would never know.

    RMMD-Two days later Delores died when your cancer took a turn for the worse.

    Spiderman-”You just webbed me right in the crotch.”

    A3G-And all the other people that live in the building too. There are more people than just your core group of friends.

    A3G 2-”Does that sound good, Lu Ann? Do I sound concerned even though that I’m really hoping the Professor is dead?”

    MT-”Rusty, that was the whole plan so you could get inside of Rod’s van. How else am I supposed to get rid of you?”

    MT 2-”These are all good except they are all of that woman that was near you when I left you.”

  10. Lurker Bob
    February 15th, 2013 at 8:08 am [Reply]

    Good lord..Is this going to be the umpteenth Mark Trail story line that involves Rusty being kidnapped for the camera, having his camera stolen to hide the evidence or being harassed for the film? This is getting to be as bad as the bad guys having facial hair.

  11. JohnE
    February 15th, 2013 at 8:12 am [Reply]

    Josh, in Western Ceremonial Magick, especially as codified by Aleister Crowley, the magician’s ‘wand’ is his generative organ and the act of stimulation and emission therefrom is referenced in those rituals as sacrificial offerings. This references the now-discredited belief that male semen contained a tiny homunculus, or miniature but fully formed human, which grew to infancy in the female womb.

    So from the first panel, we can conclude that The Wizard is left-handed.

  12. Cloudbuster
    February 15th, 2013 at 8:17 am [Reply]

    ASM: Only in Spider-Man’s troubled, troubled mind could the appropriate next step for wanting to understand Dare-Devil’s hostility and refusal to work with him be to ankle-lasso DD in mid-swing. “Why don’t I wan you around? Because you do crazy shit like this!”

  13. Cloudbuster
    February 15th, 2013 at 8:21 am [Reply]

    MW: When you’re winning $10,000 prizes for your cake-decorating skills, aren’t you sort of beyond the apprenticeship stage? It’s like the special prize for a PGA tournament winner being free golf lessons.

  14. AhClem
    February 15th, 2013 at 8:21 am [Reply]

    Archie – “Condusive?” I think the AJGLU3000′s spell checking processor may be on the fritz. Someone needs to go into the mainframe room, punch some new Hollerith cards and reboot the system.

    Apparently Archie’s daydreams are so vivid that they can be seen by others. Note Miss Grundy’s shocked expression in the third panel, no doubt caused by her seeing Veronica hand Archie a hamburger with no trace of a grill in sight.

  15. Rocky Stoneaxe
    February 15th, 2013 at 8:30 am [Reply]

    Heathcliff — Thanks to the positive influence of the Nutmeg family, Heathcliff has learned to mark his territory with paw prints instead of urine:

    http://www.gocomics.com/heathcliff/2013/02/15

    But he still needs to work on his public burping!

  16. Liam
    February 15th, 2013 at 8:31 am [Reply]

    FC-You know that little voice in your head that tells you to do things? That is God. Now there are some people that God doesn’t like and he wants you to deal with them.

    Love Is-”Well here’s the problem. The heart shouldn’t be outside the chest.”

  17. The Right Venerable Pasdordan
    February 15th, 2013 at 8:32 am [Reply]

    $10,000 doesn’t come close to covering eight months of rent in a two-bedroom New York apartment

    Who said anything about two bedrooms?

  18. btown
    February 15th, 2013 at 8:43 am [Reply]

    @The Right Venerable Pasdordan (#17): Nope, they’ll have to settle for a converted basement studio in Brownsville – nowadays known by real estate people as “Williamsburg”

  19. Nehemiah Scudder
    February 15th, 2013 at 8:46 am [Reply]

    @Poteet (#Y333): …and I spent the next fifty years as a tortoise.

    Poteet the Tortoise! Ooh! I know what happened next! Your friend, Mr. Lizard, said, “Twizzle, twazzle, twozzle, twome; time for this one to come home.”

    // Be just what you is, not what you is not. Those that do this are the happiest lot. — Albert Camus

  20. pugfuggly
    February 15th, 2013 at 8:48 am [Reply]

    MW I like that the judge hasn’t bothered to check what the prize is, opting instead to read it off his handy ‘CONTEST RULES’ scroll. “…and a eight month apprenticeship with Chef Pierre in…hey, did we let Pierre know that he was going to do this for us? Hold on, I’m just going to give him a quick call…”

    Marvin Look on the upside: 300-plus years of inbreeding probably left her with the mind of …well, an actual dog.

  21. TurtleBoy
    February 15th, 2013 at 8:48 am [Reply]

    MW: Because world-class pastry chefs have nothing better to do than spend eight months tutoring septuagenarian schlubs in the finer points of slathering pink sludge on hat boxes.

  22. Ranger
    February 15th, 2013 at 8:49 am [Reply]

    GT: I’ll be right back with the totals, right after I finish this video on RedTube.

  23. Skeltometer
    February 15th, 2013 at 8:59 am [Reply]

    #2 and #9 are right – Mary and her new cake-baking beau can shack up in Apt 3-G for FREE! The MW and 3-G synergy might cause a rip in the space-time continuum and destroy the known universe, but it’s (Mary) Worth it, dammit!

  24. Crankenstank
    February 15th, 2013 at 9:06 am [Reply]

    “Magic Wand” and “Explosion” and Nine “Letter” “Word” are all euphemisms that are describing aspects of what the Wizard is doing with his left hand under the table.

  25. Dood
    February 15th, 2013 at 9:08 am [Reply]

    Mary Worth: Eight months should give them enough time to figure out that the Bronx is up and the Battery’s down.

  26. pugfuggly
    February 15th, 2013 at 9:08 am [Reply]

    ASM Wha-? No superpowers?!? He has hearing powerful enough to echo-locate, a sense of smell more precise than a bloodhound, and a sixth sense that lets him avoid incoming object, kind of like your ‘Spidey-sense’, except it WORKS. And he can can fight crime without having the proportional whining of a spider! His superpowers? What are YOUR superpowers, Spiderjerk?

    A3G “HOW COULD YOU FORGET ABOUT THE PROFESSOR!?” I’m guessing the same way you just did in panel 2 just now.

    MT Elrod knows that people with ‘dij-ee-tal’ cameras can view them without heading to the MotoPhoto at the mall, but he’s still a little iffy on how it all works, which explains why Mark decided to print out all of Rusty’s crappy photos on glossy paper before even looking at them first.

  27. Chris B
    February 15th, 2013 at 9:15 am [Reply]

    I think you have it all wrong about the upcoming MW storyline. They will go to New York, and MW will get to do some fearsome meddling with a disconsolate Chef Pierre, who was once the toast of the pastry-chef world, but now has sunk so low that he is mentoring two schlubs who won a small town cake decorating contest.

  28. Chris B
    February 15th, 2013 at 9:17 am [Reply]

    Oh wow… I hadn’t read the comments and I notice that I used the exact same word to describe MW and John as #21 (TurtleBoy) – They really MUST be schlubs!

  29. pugfuggly
    February 15th, 2013 at 9:17 am [Reply]

    @JohnE (#11):

    So from the first panel, we can conclude that The Wizard is left-handed.

    …also, that winning at Scrabble gives him explosive ejaculations.

    And it’s not just Scrabble: any board-game victory has this effect on the Wizard.

    “Yatzee!” BOOM!
    “You sunk my Battleship!” BOOM!
    “You have won $12 at a beauty con-” BOOOOOOM!

  30. The Modesto Kid
    February 15th, 2013 at 9:18 am [Reply]

    Pretty please, could we have some Mary Worth – Apt. 3-G crossover? Mary and John could move in upstairs from the 3-G girls (assuming the fire damage is repaired) and we can have 8 months of Mary meddling Margo! (8 months Mary Worth time is an approximate eternity)

  31. S. Stout
    February 15th, 2013 at 9:25 am [Reply]

    Luann: What kind of moron would help set up this travesty? The kind of moron who owns a house and still tapes car posters to his living room wall.

  32. Old Folkie
    February 15th, 2013 at 9:26 am [Reply]

    FW: Obviously no young people become band directors any more…
    Sally Forth: Aggh! The Forths have turned into Blue People!
    MT: Great pictures, Rusty, but you should have taken a picture of that extremely rare deer-wild boar hybrid.

  33. TT
    February 15th, 2013 at 9:34 am [Reply]

    Chef Pierre? At last, the long-awaited Mary Worth-Richie Rich crossover.

  34. Squeak
    February 15th, 2013 at 9:34 am [Reply]

    Mary’s thinking: “Darn! When I read the contest rules, all I saw was ‘blah blah ten grand blah blah’. I must find a good quote for Sunday’s strip about reading the fine print before signing a contract.”

  35. Midtown
    February 15th, 2013 at 9:54 am [Reply]

    Luann: Wow! This is exactly what I predicted yesterday @54. I guess I was smart to invest in that Count Weirdly Magic Kit. “Sees all, knows all”

  36. TheDiva
    February 15th, 2013 at 9:54 am [Reply]

    C’shaft: A good crossword puzzle would have narrowed it down to a type of food at least, but it too exists for the sole purpose of antagonizing everyone in its sphere of influence.

    MW: Mary panics at the mention of New York. She may be all-powerful in Santa Royale, but against the might of Margo Magee she has not been tested.

  37. aphthakid
    February 15th, 2013 at 10:07 am [Reply]

    @The Modesto Kid (#30): I second that motion for a Mary Worth/A3G crossover event. Mary can finally hook Tommie up with that charming one-armed man at the hospital.

  38. Illustrator Steve
    February 15th, 2013 at 10:07 am [Reply]

    MT – “Let’s print them out and see WHAT we have here!”
    “Gee, that will be swell, Mark. Okay, let’s see…your camera indicates there are 3,972 pictures on it’s 16G memory card. Let me adjust the printer setting to ‘best’ and and push ‘okay’. THERE! Now all we have to do is wait at least three days for them to all be be printed. In the mean time you cantake me fishing for a few days, okay, Mark?”
    “Um, er, on second thought, Rusty, maybe we should let a professional print them out. Isn’t there still a One Hour Photo booth in the parking lot of the T. Rading company?”
    “No, Mark. THAT place went out of business the day digital printers went on sale. Looks like it’s finally time for a fishing trip with just you and me, Mark. Yippee!”
    “Um, er…HEY! Isn’t that the phone ringing? Sorry, Rusty. I must leave at once for somewhere far away. Goodbye!”

  39. La Cieca
    February 15th, 2013 at 10:08 am [Reply]

    Wait: meddling Mary, with nothing to do all day but practice carrying cakes from one table to another, never bothered to read the “CONTEST RULES?”

  40. Illustrator Steve
    February 15th, 2013 at 10:10 am [Reply]

    MT – “And here is a great picture I took of Catfish with his SCUBA gear on just before he submerged into the water with that 24 pound bass in his arms!”

  41. sldawgs
    February 15th, 2013 at 10:12 am [Reply]

    Surprise! You you just won the chance to drop everything you’re doing, quit your job, move to New York for 8 months, and follow a chef around as he grumbles under his breath about the assistant he fired and something about him saying 8 minute tour, not 8 month apprentice ship. Aren’t you glad you entered?

  42. Illustrator Steve
    February 15th, 2013 at 10:14 am [Reply]

    MT – “And HERE is a picture I took of myself crying while standing alone on the dock you abandoned me on.”

  43. bats :[
    February 15th, 2013 at 10:16 am [Reply]

    @Cloudbuster (#13): I suspect the training is for Marketing, or how to turn your mad baking skilz into charging crazy fees for the simplest of cakes, a Food Network show and the DVD series rights thereunto attached, etc., etc.

  44. Illustrator Steve
    February 15th, 2013 at 10:17 am [Reply]

    MT – “And HERE is a picture of that flock of geese that kept dropping those huge bass into the water right next to Rod Bassy’s boat!”
    “HEY! I was in that boat too. HOW come I didn’t see those geese dropping those fish?!”
    “You were too busy admiring Rod Bassy’s tackle box to notice them, Mark!”

  45. Illustrator Steve
    February 15th, 2013 at 10:21 am [Reply]

    MT – “And as we were leaving the parking lot I took this picture of mister Bassy handing mister Catfish a wad of twenty dollar bills. Probably so mister Catfish could buy some new clothes because his were soaking wet!”

  46. TheDiva
    February 15th, 2013 at 10:22 am [Reply]

    9CL: It’s a bad sign when all a writer’s characters speak with the same “voice.” It’s an extremely bad sign when that voice is as obtuse and incomprehensible as possible.

    FW: Batiuk’s strategy is to continue with the cripplingly unfunny arc long enough to make us miss the unbearably depressing arc.

    Luann: Any resolution to this that does not involve a breakup, the roof caving in, or both is unacceptable.

    Phantom: “Mean?” What are you, in junior high?

    Pibgorn: WARNING: today’s strip contains pretentious artwork, blatant sexual innuendo, and gaping hellmaw mouth. (Add in 9CL’s incomprehensible dialogue, and McEldowney has hit for the cycle on his annoyance methods today.)

    Pluggers resent the burdens placed upon them by multiple generations.

    SM: Since when?

  47. Feltwright
    February 15th, 2013 at 10:22 am [Reply]

    A3G: Right, so I don’t know much about this strip, but is Tommie supposed to be a human? I’m just not sure what kind of creature can expel high-velocity tears from it’s eyes like that. Isn’t there some kind of lizard that shoots blood from its eyes? Is that what Tommie is?

  48. Jocelyn Knockersbury
    February 15th, 2013 at 10:25 am [Reply]

    I kind of wish I knew why Marvin doesn’t look like he used to, but I’m also not willing to go so far as to actually research it. Because pride.

  49. Illustrator Steve
    February 15th, 2013 at 10:25 am [Reply]

    MT – “And here is a picture I took of myself last week while alone in my bedroom….um, er…DON’T look at THAT one, Mark, it must be some kind of printing error or something.”

  50. Illustrator Steve
    February 15th, 2013 at 10:30 am [Reply]

    MT – “And HERE are 400 pictures the camera took of my feet after I accidentally left the auto sequence feature on.”

  51. Illustrator Steve
    February 15th, 2013 at 10:33 am [Reply]

    MT – “And, THIS picture is the BEST one of them all, Mark! It’s a picture of that Rod Bassy Killer Lure ™ that got lodged in the side of your skull when you weren’t paying attention. ha ha ha!”
    “Very funny, Rusty. Just for that there will be no fishing for you today or any day!”
    “TELL me something I don’t already know, Mark!”

  52. Revenge4Aldo
    February 15th, 2013 at 10:36 am [Reply]

    ASM “If you won’t let me help you, I’ll help Kingpin!”

  53. Illustrator Steve
    February 15th, 2013 at 10:37 am [Reply]

    MT – “And HERE is a picture of when you got tossed over the bow of the boat as you were getting underway and realized you had left the rope tied to the dock! Why, you must have sailed fifty feet through the air, Mark!”
    “FIFTY FEET! Something to be proud of, Rusty!”

  54. Mikey
    February 15th, 2013 at 10:42 am [Reply]

    MW: John goes to New York. Becomes disillusioned with the pastry industry and decides to become a pastry based supervillain. Defeats Spider-Man with his pink frosting shooting cannon. Just need a good supervillain name….

    MT: Rusty, these aren’t what I meant when I said ‘Get some good beaver shots’

  55. Revenge4Aldo
    February 15th, 2013 at 10:44 am [Reply]

    MT: “Here’s a photo of me fishing with the surrogate dad I fashioned out of your old clothes and hemp rope. I call him Mark Ersatz, and he goes fishing with me all the time.”

  56. Illustrator Steve
    February 15th, 2013 at 10:48 am [Reply]

    @Revenge4Aldo (#55): Three thumbs up for THAT!

  57. Illustrator Steve
    February 15th, 2013 at 10:54 am [Reply]

    MT – “And HERE’S a picture I took underwater of the huge cage attached to the underside of Rod Bassy’s fishing boat’s hull and it was filled with HUGE bass. Funny thing is, that same fish cage was empty at day’s end when they pulled the boat out of the water.”

  58. Rip Houndstooth, Man Of Action
    February 15th, 2013 at 10:56 am [Reply]

    John Dill has yet to learn what newspaper comics have taught us all by now: You can marry a mule, but you can’t marry Worth.

  59. SPG
    February 15th, 2013 at 11:00 am [Reply]

    MW – A surprise prize of an 8-month apprenticeship on the other side of the country with a chef who apparently doesn’t warrant a last-name mention? I’m thinking the organizers of this competition wanted a surprise that would possibly make the local paper, but never require that it actually be awarded. Who in California would accept a spur-of-the-moment majority-of-a-year uprooting to NYC for an unpaid apprenticeship in a bakery?

  60. Illustrator Steve
    February 15th, 2013 at 11:01 am [Reply]

    MT – “These are good pictures, Rusty…DID you happen to get inside Rod’s van?”
    “No, Mark. But I did look through the tinted windows.”
    “See anything interesting inside the van,Rusty?”
    “Nah, all I could see inside was Cherry and ranger Tom Martin taking a nap together. There must have been some dead fish in there too because when ranger Tom Martin shook hands with me later his fingers had the smell of dead fish!”

  61. Al of the Christian Singles Jungle Patrol
    February 15th, 2013 at 11:26 am [Reply]

    @Mikey (#54): How about “Dill-do”?

  62. Daniel
    February 15th, 2013 at 11:32 am [Reply]

    There may be no drawing oversight in today’s Wizard of Id, depending on the rules of magic in that comic and how euphemistic the phrase “magic wand” is.

  63. Austria
    February 15th, 2013 at 11:49 am [Reply]

    Luann: CALLED IT

    Marvin: I’d like to know how far back Marvin can trace his pedigree. I’m willing to bet he’s a third-generation mutt himself.

  64. Gal Friday
    February 15th, 2013 at 11:51 am [Reply]

    Wizard: Wow, the Wiz just predicted the Russian meteor explosion today!

  65. Notebooked
    February 15th, 2013 at 11:57 am [Reply]

    @Al of the Christian Singles Jungle Patrol (#61): “My powers of baking shall smother you, Spider-Man! I am the master baker! My thick, sticky white frosting shall drown you! Fear me, for I am…DILL-DOUGH!”

  66. Kristian
    February 15th, 2013 at 12:07 pm [Reply]

    Marvin: Inbreeding is of course always nice, but imported, vintage French inbreeding? Oh, la la!

  67. Ribarbus Cummings
    February 15th, 2013 at 12:10 pm [Reply]

    MW: Mary did live in New York when I grew up reading the strip in the 70s. I remember when she moved to San Royale; it was a long, drawn-out affair, if you can believe it. Maybe she’ll visit old haunts & characters no one remembers at all?

  68. Freakin Hemingwad
    February 15th, 2013 at 12:13 pm [Reply]

    @Ribarbus Cummings (#67): I hope she stops to buy an apple off Apple Annie.

  69. Legend of the Arctic
    February 15th, 2013 at 12:15 pm [Reply]

    It’s time somebody spoke out against the misportrayal of dogs in comics. Why are poodles always portrayed as attractive females, when half of them are male, just like any dog breed? Also, why would an animal that routinely eats rotten food off the ground and licks its own genitals care about its sexual partners’ genealogy?

  70. Jumbo37364
    February 15th, 2013 at 12:23 pm [Reply]

    Bitsy and Marvin = cheap ripoff of Family Guy’s Brian and Stewie.

  71. BeckoningChasm
    February 15th, 2013 at 12:27 pm [Reply]

    Mary Worth looks like she’s about to explode. Which would be the perfect third panel: “John– say goodbye!”

  72. Government Cheese
    February 15th, 2013 at 12:32 pm [Reply]

    MW: Really, the only drama here is that Chef Dill Pickle is throttling Mary like in that scene in Airplane “Get a hold of yourself! (slap)”

  73. Shrug, Apprentice to the Frightful Four
    February 15th, 2013 at 12:35 pm [Reply]

    @Mikey (#54):

    “MW: John goes to New York. Becomes disillusioned with the pastry industry and decides to become a pastry based supervillain. Defeats Spider-Man with his pink frosting shooting cannon. Just need a good supervillain name….”

    Pastry-Pistol Pete?

  74. Will
    February 15th, 2013 at 12:37 pm [Reply]

    @Legend of the Arctic (#69): Fred Basset dealt with that as well, weirdly. Poodles come in both sexes and quite a variety of sizes and colors, but for some reason they’re always portrayed as white toy bitches.

  75. Oavis
    February 15th, 2013 at 12:38 pm [Reply]

    @Mikey (#54): I think he’ll finish his apprenticeship and just become a stewbum, wandering the Bowery under his new street name, Drunkin’ Hines.

  76. Shrug, Playing Parker Games
    February 15th, 2013 at 12:46 pm [Reply]

    I recognize the attraction of having Mary Worth move into the Apt 3G building (or what’s left of it) for a crossover, but personally I’d rather see if M.J. Parker is interesting in subletting the guest bedroom in their apartment. I can just see Mary meddling in M.J. and Peter’s marriage, discovering Spidey’s secret identity, trying to get Peter to go on an Italian cruise rather than lolling about all day watching TV, and so on.

    “With great power comes great responsibility, Peter. Albert Camus said that in THE MERRY MARVEL MARCHING MYTH OF SISYPHUS!”

  77. Dood
    February 15th, 2013 at 12:55 pm [Reply]

    Mary Worth: “Chef Pierre, Mary! He’s got a cake pushcart in the Bronx!”

  78. Dood
    February 15th, 2013 at 12:58 pm [Reply]

    What’s this prize cake-baking “apprenticeship” like? I’m picturing a Learning Annex sort of thing with each student provided their own Easy-Bake Oven.

  79. Government Cheese
    February 15th, 2013 at 1:03 pm [Reply]

    Luann: A romantic Valentine’s day dinner with a laptop? Sounds like a depressing activity. She should just bring up World of Warcraft on her computer and call it an evening.

  80. Artist formerly known as Ben
    February 15th, 2013 at 1:17 pm [Reply]

    WofI: Jeez, I thought your wand going off at inopportune times was a young wizard’s problem.

    C-Shaft: Since Pam never told the other two how many letters she needed, she’s got no cause to complain. Well she does, but not about this.

    Marvin: In case you didn’t loathe him enough already, Marvin is a snobby dog racist.

    MT: Father of the Year Mark Trail openly encourages Rusty to climb inside strangers’ vans.

    Archie: Mrs. Grundy is disgusted to see Archie’s tame daydream playing out in front of her. “You’re zoning out over a goddamn picnic? At least get her legs in the air.”

    JP: “She wouldn’t be overspending it on herself. Maybe on some well hung stud named Henri. Doesn’t that make you feel better?”

    GA: But what’s the point of inheriting 100 grand when you have to use half of it to bribe the preacher?

    H&L: “And my dealer. Can’t forget him, mom.”

    DT: Toad’s got friends on the force now yet he still has to go to some horrifying mutant snitch to find out what the police already know? No respect, no respect at all.

    Phantom: One villain observes that their being mean, the other laughs like Nelson Muntz. That’s not very subtle in the Bandar tongue or any other.

    DtM: Gradeschooler beaten to death with vacuum attachment, film at 11.

    M-Dawg: Dottie asks the kind of question she should know better than to ask, if she values her peace of mind.

    A3G: Tommie’s tear ducts are located an inch away from her head. It’s an odd superpower.

  81. Artist formerly known as Ben
    February 15th, 2013 at 1:20 pm [Reply]

    @Ribarbus Cummings (#67): I look forward to Mary revisiting the old East Village loft where she used to score hash.

  82. TheYellowKid
    February 15th, 2013 at 1:30 pm [Reply]

    Josh thinks Mary Worth and Mr. Whipple will need TWO bedrooms in their New York love nest.

    Give it up, Josh. Mary will never see you as anything other than a friend.

  83. Reepicheep-chan
    February 15th, 2013 at 1:49 pm [Reply]

    @cholling (#4): I initially read that as “Fruhlinger’s Wang”.

  84. Mikey
    February 15th, 2013 at 2:00 pm [Reply]

  85. Mikey
    February 15th, 2013 at 2:04 pm [Reply]

    @Reepicheep-chan (#83): That’d be another good band name…

  86. Freakin Hemingwad
    February 15th, 2013 at 2:16 pm [Reply]

    @Reepicheep-chan (#83): Bleach, please – !

  87. The Shrug in the Willows
    February 15th, 2013 at 2:21 pm [Reply]

    @Artist formerly known as Ben (#80):

    “DT: Toad’s got friends on the force now yet he still has to go to some horrifying mutant snitch to find out what the police already know?”

    You mean Mole. Silly Artist, everyone knows Toad is a *girl’s* name!!

  88. Dood
    February 15th, 2013 at 2:30 pm [Reply]

    Mary Worth: OK, so instead of being consigned to some peace village in Southeast Asia, John Dill is going to get Chuck Cunningham’d to a cake school in SoHo?

  89. Notebooked
    February 15th, 2013 at 3:14 pm [Reply]

    @Reepicheep-chan (#83): What on earth would Fruhlinger’s wang have to do with exploding?
    …Oh. Oh, jeez. I do not like that picture at all.
    A whole Scrabble set, though? That’s impressive!

  90. Rocky Stoneaxe
    February 15th, 2013 at 3:25 pm [Reply]

    Mary Worth could always book a room for herself at New York’s Sarah Cragmore Hotel for Women. Unfortunately, there’s no room at the inn for a MAN like John Dill…

    http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_JcisOyEltU0/Sug6hi1w71I/AAAAAAAADUE/IrztBFVgW1k/s400/mary%2Bworth.gif

    …which would lead to an interesting plot twist if John put on a wig and dress (like Tom Hanks and Peter Scolari did on Bosom Buddies) and registered at Sara Cragmore under the name of “Pickles Johnson”!

  91. Freakin Hemingwad
    February 15th, 2013 at 3:43 pm [Reply]

    @Notebooked (#89): More bleach, please – ! (I’ll try drinking it this time)

  92. Artist formerly known as Ben
    February 15th, 2013 at 3:56 pm [Reply]

    @The Shrug in the Willows (#87): Got me. Weasel is still a boy’s name, right?

  93. Notebooked
    February 15th, 2013 at 3:58 pm [Reply]

    @Freakin Hemingwad (#91): Should I say something about bleach? Ehh…there’s a million lines here, but I ain’t touching a one of them.

  94. MicketyMick
    February 15th, 2013 at 4:25 pm [Reply]

    Well I guess I’m THAT that guy; seven letters in a tray does not limit your choices to seven letter words. Since Scrabble is a CROSSword game you could cross two words to make ‘explosion.’ Damn….I really AM that guy.

  95. Amos Snarkadder, CQB
    February 15th, 2013 at 4:34 pm [Reply]

    @TheDiva (#46):

    Luann: Any resolution to this that does not involve a breakup, the roof caving in, or both is unacceptable.

    Well, there is a gift-wrapped box. Perhaps a fire and a months-long stay in the burn unit?

  96. sally
    February 15th, 2013 at 4:39 pm [Reply]

    Surely it’s Marvin, not the dog, who is the racist here?

  97. Amos Snarkadder, CQB
    February 15th, 2013 at 4:46 pm [Reply]

    Cranked shaft Lutefisk.
    // You’re welcome.

    FW I was never in band. Maybe that’s why I don’t get your band jokes.

  98. Der Schnärkïnätör mit Ümläütën!
    February 15th, 2013 at 4:57 pm [Reply]

    @Droopy Says (#y346):

    I read that as “I-15,” which makes him a trucking idiot.

    That would be Peter Parker, methinks!

  99. Alison
    February 15th, 2013 at 5:41 pm [Reply]

    “Mary Worth”: Ah-ha! So that’s why they picked the retired people to win this contest. Not because their cake was the best but because anyone who’s not retired can’t possibly just drop everything and move across the country for eight months. It all makes sense now. Mr. Dill probably came in dead last originally, but when the judges saw that the other entries were made up of people with families and jobs in California, they realized, “Nope, nope, this prize won’t work for them” and moved on.

    All that aside, there’s no way a famous chef (I’m guessing he’s supposed to be famous) is going to agree to let some random amateurs work under him for EIGHT MONTHS.

    “Baby Blues”: The punchline to this one isn’t bad, but what’s with the first panel? “Will you be my Valentine?” “That was yesterday, but sure!” Um, why not just run this joke yesterday? Is it really that hard to plan a Valentine’s Day joke for Valentine’s Day, instead of the day after?

    “Luann”: In a perfect world, Luann, instead of being touched by this gesture, would be so disappointed that it was only Quill on Skype instead of Quill in real life, would burst into babyish sobs and run out of the room wailing, “I thought Quill had come to see me, but he didn’t! Waaaah! Quill hates meeeeee!” leaving a confused Quill saying, “Where are you going, Yank? Come back, Yank. Yank, are you there? …Yank?”

  100. sully
    February 15th, 2013 at 6:03 pm [Reply]

    @Dartpaw86 (#6): Sure, except Stewie and Brian have conversations that are actual conversations, and not some kind of impossible telepathy. And their conversations are biting, witty, and socially satirical, as opposed to lame quips about shitting ones-self, and the resulting stench. Other than that, yeah, they’re just the same.

  101. demoncat
    February 15th, 2013 at 6:19 pm [Reply]

    marvin. come on marvin stop torchering bixby and just tell him its proably junior who sent the note. though marvin is proably enjoying being cruel to him any way. mw. mary look of shock on her face learning she may have to after he worked so hard to win johns dreams of getting out of santa royal. is priceless for after all mary lose on new york not being in control ny does not need that

  102. MWDG
    February 15th, 2013 at 6:46 pm [Reply]

    MW: Are we supposed to believe that Mary hasn’t already slept with John Dill? She is still pining for that councilman she had oral sex with. I guess Mary like our former President Clinton does consider “oral sex,” sex.

    MW: Are we supposed to believe that Mary hasn’t already slept with John Dill? She is still pining for that councilman she had oral sex with. I guess Mary like former President William Jefferson Clinton does not consider “oral sex,” sex.

    Plot ideas for Mary and John:

    • Mary says she will only go to NYC if Terry Bryson is allowed to accompany her as a chaperone. In NYC, Terry and Mary check out all the Lesbian hangouts.
    • Immediately after hearing that he and Mary have won…John loses control of his bowels so they are disqualified. The crowd goes wild with laughter destroying the convention center. Mary is stunned has an epileptic seizure and then spontaneously combusts.
    • Mary goes w/John to NYC and loves it, the cake apprentice is fantastic and she enjoys every minute of it. On the last day of her NYC visit she is beaten to death (and eaten) by a gang of lesbian cannibals.

  103. The Ridger
    February 15th, 2013 at 7:30 pm [Reply]

    @Will (#74): Reminds me of the ladybug in A Bug’s Life. “So! Bein’ a ladybug automatically makes me a girl. Is that it, fly boy? Eh?”

  104. Sullu Tac
    February 15th, 2013 at 7:59 pm [Reply]

    Considering how often I’ve seen SkyMall ads for canine genealogy kits, you’d think it would be a simple matter for Marvin’s dog to trace his own pedigree.

  105. Alice
    February 15th, 2013 at 8:44 pm [Reply]

    Luann: So, it isn’t Quill in person after all, Which means… *sigh*…more of the same. I could waste mental energy hoping for a breakup, but we all know how much Evans loves his stasis, so I resign myself to many months’ worth (at least) of “Hey, Oz!” –”G’day, Yank!” Skype sessions. Zzzzzzz.

  106. sb
    February 15th, 2013 at 9:02 pm [Reply]

    @Alison (#99):
    Isn’t Mary still helping out with “Ask Wendy”? Then again, that would probably make even more sense:
    Judge 1: Hey, maybe we should have thought this whole surprise trip to New York thing through.
    Judge 2: Yeah, most of these people here actually have lives. Who knew?
    Judge 1: How about that one. One of the entrants is retired.
    Judge 2: The pepto-bismol cake? You’re kidding, right?
    Judge 1: The other entrant is Mary Worth.
    Judge 2: Hold on…You mean we’ve got a chance to send her and her meddling off to the opposite side of the country for eight months??!! SWEET!!!!

  107. Cyrith
    February 15th, 2013 at 9:46 pm [Reply]

    Marvin: What proof do we have it’s the dog that’s racist? Marvin is the one bringing up issues of gene purity here. Looks like his political ideology is full of shit. Like everything else in this comic.

  108. Sgt. Stoned
    February 15th, 2013 at 10:00 pm [Reply]

    MW: Two bedroom apartment? But I can definitely dig a reboot about Mary trying to make it in the big city. Sort of like “The Mary Tyler Moore Show” on Geritol.

    Blondie: A fine illustration of the Marxist dialectic at work. Dagwood, though an “office manager” is still a wage-slave and is, hence, sympathetic to unionization, while Blondie is a petit-bourgeois catering-service owner who identifies, through false consciousness, her interests with that of monopoly capital.

  109. Liam
    February 15th, 2013 at 10:25 pm [Reply]

    Wizard of Id-”I swear to god that has never happened to me before. My wand has never prematurely exploded before.”

  110. Der Kömmëntätör, Herr Schnärkïnätör
    February 15th, 2013 at 11:11 pm [Reply]

    A&J: Looks like Arlo GOT SOME!

    // Yeah baby!

  111. Alison
    February 15th, 2013 at 11:20 pm [Reply]

    @sb (#106):
    I forgot all about “Dear Wendy”, but that’s okay, because I’m pretty sure the writer and artist of this strip did too. I could be wrong on this but, I don’t think it was ever mentioned whether Mary kept the job or gave it back to Wilbur or what; I think that storyline was just dumped. Too bad that doesn’t happen more often! I can think of a lot of story lines in this strip that deserve to be dumped halfway through.

    Good point on getting rid of Mary Worth for eight months. Letting a lousy cake win a cake competition would be absolutely worth (no pun intended) getting rid of her. The judges are probably hoping she will fall in love with NY and stay there forever.

  112. Revenge4Aldo
    February 15th, 2013 at 11:47 pm [Reply]

    @Ribarbus Cummings (#67): So she used to be “Mary from the Block?”

  113. Rana the Pedantic Wet Blanket
    February 16th, 2013 at 2:22 am [Reply]

    @TheDiva (#46): At least there’s been no sign of Thorax.

    Yet.

  114. Jonn
    February 16th, 2013 at 5:29 am [Reply]

    Strictly speaking, there’s no real indication Fifi is bigoted, so it’s just a comic about a racist baby who soils himself constantly.

  115. Shran
    February 16th, 2013 at 7:41 am [Reply]

    @Mikey (#54): “MW: John goes to New York. Becomes disillusioned with the pastry industry and decides to become a pastry based supervillain. Defeats Spider-Man with his pink frosting shooting cannon. Just need a good supervillain name….”

    How about John Dill? It will confuse the hell out of Spidey, causing him to spend weeks trying to figure out his “real” name while John takes over the whole city.

  116. gojira
    February 16th, 2013 at 8:41 am [Reply]

    @MicketyMick (#94) re: crossing words in Scrabble: Actually, it would be a matter of adding the letters either before or after an existing word on the board. I see ex + plosion, explosi + on, and explos + ion. It gets trickier if the existing words have been used to create cross-words and the tiles you’re using to form “explosion” line up next to any of those. If I remember the rules correctly, those secondary connections have to be words, also. (Oh, Jeez, I’m that that THAT guy…)

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