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Grim past; brief future

Dick Tracy, 2/22/13

Long-time readers will remember when Dick Tracy was a staple of these pages, back before a new team, narrative coherence, and really sumptuous art (go back and look at that first panel again; I’ll wait) put an end to that. So it’s nice of them to toss in an grisly death now and again, just for us old-timers. Thanks, guys — BEROWH!

Judge Parker, 2/22/13

Ha ha, so L’il Judge Randy’s going to tell his fiancée — a well-equipped professional assassin with a hair-trigger temper and history of gun violence returning from covert wet work in some Middle East hot spot — that their honeymoon will trap them on a boat with Mom ‘n’ Pop, the very people she planned to escape by eloping, swearing him to secrecy. Sam’s concerns are misplaced — L’il Judge won’t live to see cocktail hour, let alone Mexico. Work it like a claw, and call him mincemeat.

Mother Goose and Grimm, 2/22/13

The Scarlet Letter meets Welcome to the Monkey House. Those townsfolk will be mighty surprised when Reverend Dimmesdale shows up with a scarlet “D-” on his chest — the mercy grade Hester gave him so he wouldn’t try to retake the course.

Edge City, 2/22/13

Obsessive neurotic Abby Ardin finally found a personal trainer well-suited to her capabilities and goals, and promptly stopped exercising. Husband Len sizes up the situation perceptively, but both irony and correction are lost on Abby.

P.S. This woman is a therapist.
P.P.S.  Yes, I am going to start every single Edge City post with “Obsessive neurotic Abby Ardin ….” I just have to, for some reason.

Hi and Lois, 2/22/13

Lois, check out the the Cubs memorabilia and the Dylan, Who, and Led Zeppelin posters: this guy is your Dad.


Just a reminder – no Comments of the Week on my watch. Look for them when Josh gets back Sunday or, you know, whenever.

– Uncle Lumpy

383 responses to “Grim past; brief future”

  1. MySpoonIsTooBig
    February 22nd, 2013 at 1:58 am [Reply]

    Luann: Remember girls, only eeeeeeevil, terrible bitches like any of that sick “sexy” stuff.

    And apparently I am one of them because as evidenced by following Luann to snark on it, I must be some kind of masochist.

  2. Majicou
    February 22nd, 2013 at 1:59 am [Reply]

    Bread products bread products. Bread products? Bread products, BREAD PRODUCTS.

    Sorry, that’s all I can think of when I see Edge City.

  3. Droopy Says
    February 22nd, 2013 at 2:00 am [Reply]

    Spiderdick: Daredevil can’t dode that missile forever? You really haven’t read this strip, have you, Parker?

    Dik Tracy: See? Even Staton and Curtis think the Sweatbox story is a real train wreck!

    Mock Travail: Okay, will Catfish forbid looking inside the van, with an excuse so lame even Rusty will grow suspicious? (That is possible, isn’t it?) Or will he jump straight to the camera/Rusty stealing?

    <Funky Winkerbatiuksucks: If I’d been the contractor, I would have put lives wires in his hands and turned him into a conductor.

    Crankshat: Oh, ha, ha, Keesterman gets it in the keister again, this time from the younger generation, ha, ha.

    Crock: Why is a longhorn skull, a traditional Old West symbol, in the Sahara? Why is this comic still in existence?

    Spiderdick, again: There’s only one thing to do, Parker. Web the missile and get dragged around. Don’t worry, it’s in character.

    Family Circus: By the time you’re a hundred, Dowwy, Daddy Keane will be as old and dusty as this strip.

    Phantom: “Sure, let’s leave our victim in an outdoor cage where any of our workers and visitors can see him! Nobody will suspect us of anything!”

    Pluggers: Sadly, a Plugger’s teacher is so dumb that she* doesn’t understand the alphabet.

    *(Yeah, she. Pluggers have never seen a man teach grade school.)

  4. Gladly, the cross-eyed bear
    February 22nd, 2013 at 2:03 am [Reply]

    MW: Let the orgy of self-congratulation begin!

  5. Mr. O’Malley
    February 22nd, 2013 at 2:09 am [Reply]

    DT: That looks a lot like a steam locomotive, despite the flat panel display in the cab. Or is that a rear view mirror?

    Well, it’s very nicely drawn.

  6. Mars
    February 22nd, 2013 at 2:24 am [Reply]

    Josh has never brought up “Edge City” in any of his posts. I’m convinced Lumpy is literally the only person who follows this strip. BREAD PRODUCTS!

    The Hi and Lois makes me wonder if the strip has been a period piece for some time now. It would explain a few things.

  7. Uncle Lumpy
    February 22nd, 2013 at 2:26 am [Reply]

    @Mars (#6):

    Yeah, they said that about The Better Half for a loooong time. Everything is proceeding as I have forseen!

  8. Dale
    February 22nd, 2013 at 2:44 am [Reply]

    @Mr. O’Malley (#5):

    I thought steam locomotive, too.
    The diagonal connecting rod means it isn’t going anywhere.

  9. Mibbitmaker
    February 22nd, 2013 at 2:44 am [Reply]

    DT: Great drawing, though the lines indicating the police car siren lights make it look like Dick is sliding around every which way on the seemingly ice-covered road. Drawing great, coloring crew not so much.

    DT, meta: The current team is really good at this. One of the things they do is make the strip very much honoring Chester Gould’s original vision (and characters, older characters, one-shot older characters, characters from other strips, other people and characters from other parts of pop culture…. seemingly all the time now…. Seriously, Staton and Curtis, what the hell?!!), which includes grisly deaths for the villains. It’s basic Dick Tracy, really.

    JP: April’s revenge for Randy doing wrong by her is going to make Lizardbreath Patterson (and fellow cheatee Tina)’s revenge on Eric look like gently rocking a baby to sleep by comparison. It’ll have the violence of Dick Tracy, the disturbingness of Pibgorn, and the dark tragedy of Funky Winkerbean.

  10. Dale
    February 22nd, 2013 at 2:54 am [Reply]

    @Droopy Says (#3):

    MARK TRAIL

    As experienced cheaters, shouldn’t Rod and Catfish have a better answer than, “It’s messy.” or “I’m busy.”?
    Wouldn’t anyone start with, “Why?” Or open the door and show a display of lures and how-to books.

  11. Bill Murray
    February 22nd, 2013 at 2:55 am [Reply]

    so in Mother Goose and Grimm, the curve works to lower your grade? My students would hang me in effigy if I did that. OTOH none of my students have penis noses, so I should be thankful for small favors

  12. Ed Dravecky
    February 22nd, 2013 at 3:15 am [Reply]

  13. comcis fan
    February 22nd, 2013 at 3:20 am [Reply]

    MW: Oh Mary. That shadow on your crown in panel one resembles a cardinal’s zucchetto, and I thought for a moment you’d be heading over to the international terminal and flying to Rome to participate in the upcoming papal conclave — perhaps even to nominate yourself as the next Pope. Then again, you could be going to petition for your own sainthood, considering the confectionary miracle your statuette performed atop John Dill’s cake. Oh but Mary, although not a Catholic myself, I’m fairly certain that popes and saints are supposed to possess a measure of humility.

  14. Ed Dravecky
    February 22nd, 2013 at 3:21 am [Reply]

    DT: If I may quote Michael J. Nelson, ‘Trains are blameless, holy creatures.”

  15. comcis fan
    February 22nd, 2013 at 3:38 am [Reply]

    FC: Haha! Dolly, you haven’t figured out that I’ll be dead by then! Oh ho ho ho! I must remember to update you kids on the harsh realities. Yeah, you’ll all have to fend for yourselves. Mommy and I will have shuffled off this mortal coil long before you turn 100, if you make it that long.

  16. Alfred E. Neuman
    February 22nd, 2013 at 3:43 am [Reply]

    @Mibbitmaker (#9) said: “JP: April’s revenge for Randy doing wrong by her is going to make Lizardbreath Patterson (and fellow cheatee Tina)’s revenge on Eric look like gently rocking a baby to sleep by comparison. It’ll have the violence of Dick Tracy, the disturbingness of Pibgorn, and the dark tragedy of Funky Winkerbean.”

    I’m guessing that just the opposite will happen. Since the lead characters in JP are always being showered with unearned rewards, I expect that as soon as April finds out that the elopement has been compromised, she’ll morph into an extra-sweet version of Mary Tyler Moore’s Laura Petrie character, saying, “Oh, Randy, you lovable scamp, what a great idea! The more the merrier!” After they’re married, she’ll give up her job, put on an apron, and cook Randy gourmet meals while counting all the money that rolls in from generous strangers.

  17. Alfred E. Neuman
    February 22nd, 2013 at 3:53 am [Reply]

    Marvin— Baka Alert: NSFBG!

  18. Droopy Says
    February 22nd, 2013 at 3:56 am [Reply]

    @Dale (#10): You’d expect Rod Bassy, and maybe even Catfish, to have the ability to outwit Rusty, although I’ll concede that heir presence in the Trailiverse is a strong argument against their having any wits. You’d also expect them not to bring incriminating evidence to a fishing tournament. For that matter, you’d expect other people who catch fishes with rods and reels to ask “Why does Rod Bassy need an assistant, who never seems to do anything but drive his van?” All I can guess is that Elrod doesn’t have any clip art of Rusty following a man into the woods, to discover a cache of SCUBA gear and live bass in portable containers.

  19. Bill
    February 22nd, 2013 at 4:11 am [Reply]

    DICK TRACY: “BEROWH”? Isn’t that how a Chinese would shout “BELOW!” in Chinklish?

  20. Doodle Bean
    February 22nd, 2013 at 4:26 am [Reply]

    Mike Peters (Mother Goose and Grimm) knows so little about fornication that he thinks there’s a teacher, syllabus and grading curve!

  21. NonnyMus
    February 22nd, 2013 at 4:31 am [Reply]

    I still think there is much to mock about Dick Tracy: the hovering police car, the convict-like outfits of the railroad employees, the cow catcher on the locomotive and, as you noted, the BEROWH!

    Meanwhile, in Santa Royale, the smugness has begun!

  22. Doctor Handsome
    February 22nd, 2013 at 4:42 am [Reply]

    If I’m understanding the joke in Mother Goose and Grimm correctly, there’s a bunch of much better adulteresses in this town. Next time cradle the balls, Hester.

  23. Doctor Handsome
    February 22nd, 2013 at 4:55 am [Reply]

    “Have I seen your son? NO, I TELL YOU! DITTO RAN AWAY!! And this room is freshly cleaned, so checking for forensic evidence would probably be pointless.”

  24. Cloudbuster
    February 22nd, 2013 at 5:21 am [Reply]

    @Poteet (#Y278): McE’s cows are Creatures of Pure Art and thus don’t conform to societal (and legal) standards regarding ear tags.

  25. Cloudbuster
    February 22nd, 2013 at 5:23 am [Reply]

    9CL: In the next storyline, the Burbers take on the scourge of redneck cat jugglers. Some of them don’t even name their pussies!

  26. Cloudbuster
    February 22nd, 2013 at 5:35 am [Reply]

    9CL: Clearly this storyline is pushing my buttons. It wouldn’t be so bad if there weren’t a completely new thing he gets egregiously wrong every friggin’ day. mumble … bovine suppositories … grumble.

  27. Liam
    February 22nd, 2013 at 5:36 am [Reply]

    Spiderman-Don’t do it, Spiderman. Do you want to add missile to the list of things that have beaten you?

    Spiderman 2-”I wonder what’s on tv. I should go find out.”

    Hi and Lois-Lois, I wouldn’t go to sleep tonight or ever again if I was you.

    Hi and Lois 2-”You look stressed, Mom. You should take a nap.”

    FC-Daddy will be in a corner begging for the sweet release of death that can only end his very advance old age.

    Dick Tracy-Overhead at Sweatbox’s soon to be funeral, “Even dead he is still sweating.”

    Love Is-At the end of the black trail is the mangled corpses of Sir Rodney and the Wizard of Id.

    MT-Rusty, must be the only kid who wants to go inside a strangers van. Most kids have to be lured in. Either Rusty is that dumb or just he wants to get out of there really bad.

    A3G-And for your breathing exercise we will dunk your head underwater until you come up for air or the last bubble goes pop.

    MW-And now comes the week of self congratulations followed by a month of Mary with a cast on her arm after she broke it patting herself on the back.

    MW 2-In the unseen third panel, Mary is still smiling as she watches the plane blow up a few minutes after taking off.

    MW 3-”That’ll do pig. That’ll do.”

    RMMD-Sounds like June is in platitude mode.

    Sally Forth-”And I’ve poisoned all the pastries.”

  28. Cloudbuster
    February 22nd, 2013 at 5:40 am [Reply]

    @Doctor Handsome (#22): The New Yorker or Playboy (I forget which) did this much better about 50 years ago, showing Hester swaggering past the other girls with a big scarlet “A+” and a smile on her face.

  29. Cloudbuster
    February 22nd, 2013 at 5:48 am [Reply]

    ASM: Slowest. Missile. Ever. But I give it big props for perseverance. You go little missile! Keep trying to hit that blind man! Because, you know, detonating a warhead mere feet away couldn’t possibly do any good. Every one knows a missile can’t destroy something unless it directly hits it. Those are the words we associate with missile and drone strikes: Laser-like precision! Collateral damage? Nonsense! What? Me getting political? No way! I’m talkin’ about DareDevil here!

  30. Cloudbuster
    February 22nd, 2013 at 5:52 am [Reply]

    @Liam (#27): Rusty has some hopes that if he does whatever Catfish wants in the van, and they take some “special” pictures just for Mr. Catfish, that Catfish might possibly go fishing with him. Despite years of promises from Mark, Rusty has never been fishing.

  31. Amos Snarkadder, CQB
    February 22nd, 2013 at 5:58 am [Reply]

    FW Hey, now that’s a thought!

    Luann True, Luann. In your case, “sick” is an understatement.

    MW Good, you did good, Mary. But you can do better! Get back to work, slacker!

  32. Cloudbuster
    February 22nd, 2013 at 6:00 am [Reply]

    Dilbert: All they need to do is hire Bruce Willis and Ben Affleck….

  33. Elk Meadow
    February 22nd, 2013 at 6:01 am [Reply]

    Curtis was surprisingly good today, sweet and fun to read.

    http://www.seattlepi.com/comics-and-games/fun/Curtis/2013-02-22/

  34. Beetle Bumstead
    February 22nd, 2013 at 6:01 am [Reply]

    BEROWH! FUCK YEAH!

  35. Droopy Says
    February 22nd, 2013 at 6:05 am [Reply]

    Family Circus: Over in the corner, Rod Serling chides Bil Keane for overlooking the “Escape Clause.” That’s what happens when the dotted trail takes you into . . . The Twilight Zone.

  36. Dragon of Life
    February 22nd, 2013 at 6:21 am [Reply]

    Without reading the strip name or glancing ahead, I read only “Sweatbox escapes” and immediately assumed Spider-man had blown it again.

  37. Huckleberry Fink
    February 22nd, 2013 at 7:07 am [Reply]

    @Rocky Stoneaxe (#y285): FW — Lumpy Rutherford really looks spiffy keeno with his new beard

    Notice I said “with” and not “in” his new beard. Basically, the wrinkly guy talking to Harry Dinkle is the Lump’s new protective coloration. What does he need protective coloration for, you ask?

    It seems his predilection for large farm animals* has gotten him into a whole heap of trouble with a certain lady veterinarian. Which is why the Lump is currently laying low with his new beard, Sam Sharpei.

    *Especially a brown-eyed beauty by the name of “Twinkly”!

    Wait, does Lumpy Rutherford live in the same town as Harry Dinkle? Because a guy with a name like “Lumpy” BELONGS in Cancerville, y’know?

  38. gleeb
    February 22nd, 2013 at 7:08 am [Reply]

    Slylock: Who’s been annoying M le Comte Weirdly’s walking scrotum monster? Go get some talcum powder and soothe the poor beast.

    3-G: I like the impish nurse in panel one. “Tag! Time for your treatment!”

    ‘shaft: Unsatisfied with causing destruction himself, Ed makes others his instruments. And it’s funny.

    ‘bean: More band crap, this time with a Crankshaftish joy in having been a nuisance and danger to others.

    Phantom: Yes, it’s safe to leave alone the one guy who saw through our plan and just threw me through a window. Why wouldn’t it be? Put a couple of bullets in his brain with his own guns? Well, it has irony, but where’s the sport?

    Thorp: Dead-eyed Marty Moon speaks the truth about the Peacock God story. The best you can say about it is that it’s over.

    June Morgan, RN: Honey’s going to shoot herself, isn’t she?

  39. pugfuggly
    February 22nd, 2013 at 7:16 am [Reply]

    JP I don’t follow Judge Parker that much, but is that ghostly figure behind Judge Randy a regular character? Is that kind of his schtick? “See that horrible ghost back there? I sentenced that woman to death 10 years ago and her spirit has been following me every day since and I don’t even care. So no pleas for mercy in this court!”

    MG&G Everyone remembers when Boston’s first bra salesman appeared, with his measuring tape and white fabric marker.

  40. pugfuggly
    February 22nd, 2013 at 7:32 am [Reply]

    ASM “If only there was *FWIP!* some kind of netting *FWIP!* I could use *FWIP!* to catch or slow down *FWIP!* the missile….”

    A3G ” C’mon Gabby, we need breakfast. For some reason I’ve been thinking of scrambled eggs ever since I walk into this room….”

    FW So band leaders are….crazy? “I went every morning to a an empty lot filled with gravel and debris to look at where my music room might be in 8-12 months.The construction crew got so annoyed with me they actually banned me from the site! I don’t know why I’m telling you about these neurotic episodes I have, I just can’t seem to stop talking…..!”

    MT ‘Would this be a good time to take a picture inside your van?’ Jeez, some kids practically abduct themselves these days.

    MW Mary’s self-congratulatory levels are getting dangerously high. Good thing she popped on that yarmulke to remind herself to fear god’s wrath.

  41. Huckleberry Fink
    February 22nd, 2013 at 7:37 am [Reply]

    Remember, Uncle Lumpy, this is NOT your Dad’s Hi and Lois.

  42. Calvin's Cardboard Box
    February 22nd, 2013 at 7:39 am [Reply]

    Crank – In order for this recurring gag to have a chance of being funny, the character whose mailbox is constantly being run over has to be the hateful one, and the property damage needs to be accidental. As it is, Crank is just an asshole, installment 37,732.

    RMMD – In the real world, “buck up, put on a happy face, things will get better!” advice would be dismissed as facile and lazy. In a Wilson strip, Honey’s life will be completely changed by it, and June will be hailed as a hero. If her reward is a free lap dance, I am OK with this.

  43. seismic-2
    February 22nd, 2013 at 7:40 am [Reply]

    MG&G: Everyone knows from personal experience that Hester engages in fornication, but the “plus” and the letter tells them what additional sin is to be shunned about her. The crowd is horrified, because they have all availed themselves of her easy virtue, and now they learn that she has chlamydia.

  44. Huckleberry Fink
    February 22nd, 2013 at 7:55 am [Reply]

    Judge Parker: “Watch yourself in Mexico! Things are a little dicey down there!”

    No problemo. Lucky bastard always throws a seven and eleven.

  45. Braniff
    February 22nd, 2013 at 7:59 am [Reply]

    FC: Dolly, by the time you turn 100 you’ll be just as dead as your daddy, your mommy, Billy, Jeffy, Barfy, Sam, Kittycat, your grammas, Nobody, Ida Know and your fans!

    (By the way, does the Family Circus still have fans–or are most of them deceased?)

  46. Huckleberry Fink
    February 22nd, 2013 at 8:05 am [Reply]

    Mother and Grimmy: Daredevil has a DOUBLE scarlet “D” on his chest. Does that make him Hester Prynne’s soulmate?

    Hester always did like the bad boys!

  47. Nehemiah Scudder
    February 22nd, 2013 at 8:08 am [Reply]

    DT: Lt. Dan Matthews, Highway Patrol, would have set up a couple of roadblocks and called in a chopper by now!

  48. Revenge4Aldo
    February 22nd, 2013 at 8:14 am [Reply]

    MT: “Mr. Catfish, can you take me fishing too? You’re my new dad, Mr. Catfish.”

  49. KreatureFeatures
    February 22nd, 2013 at 8:24 am [Reply]

    For that white heron in Mark Trail, the suspense is literally hair-raising.

  50. pugfuggly
    February 22nd, 2013 at 8:24 am [Reply]

    @Huckleberry Fink (#46):

    I figured it would be Hester with the Double-D’s and Daredevil with the C(ock)-plus, but I might be thinking of slash-fic series I’ve been reading on superhero-romantic era fictional character encounters.

  51. Huckleberry Fink
    February 22nd, 2013 at 8:25 am [Reply]

    Has Nehemiah Scudder ordered his copy of John Rose’s “The Bodacious Best of Snuffy Smith” yet? Tell us — inquiring minds want to know!

  52. KreatureFeatures
    February 22nd, 2013 at 8:28 am [Reply]

    MW: Now start working on that kid behind you in panel 2. He looks mildly dissatisfied.

  53. RavenHawk
    February 22nd, 2013 at 8:37 am [Reply]

    Amazingly Lame Spiderman: Apparently, DareDevil is being chased by a North Korean missle.

  54. CanuckDownSouth
    February 22nd, 2013 at 8:45 am [Reply]

    @Mibbitmaker (#9): check the gocomics version. Much clearer colors.

    Now, while I appreciate a faster, clearer narrative heading to the trademark Gruesome Villain Death, would it be possible for the story to be less stupid? Sweatbox never tries to bluff his way around the family crypt use, we don’t even know whether the confession was his, and even so – why couldn’t he try to call it a malicious hoax? So he panics, kidnaps Toad (who should be more street-smart than *that* ridiculous scene) and tries to get someone who was a kid in the camp era to take the blame in a coerced confession that nobody would take seriously (although I expect the “broadcast” wasn’t actually over TV). Can’t we have some villainous semi-reasonable plotting leading up to whatever explosive / splattered death scene is in the offing?

  55. pugfuggly
    February 22nd, 2013 at 8:47 am [Reply]

    @RavenHawk (#53):

    Just for clarity, are you referring to the (tee hee)‘No Dong’ missile?

  56. Old Folkie
    February 22nd, 2013 at 8:53 am [Reply]

    H&L: If you’re gonna use 40-year-old clip art, at least update the musicians.
    FW: Can we also ban him from this strip?
    DT: Steampunk locomotive!

  57. AhClem
    February 22nd, 2013 at 8:54 am [Reply]

    @AhClem (#y44): Ha! I called it yesterday! I just called it for the wrong strip.

  58. AhClem
    February 22nd, 2013 at 8:55 am [Reply]

    @AhClem (#57): #57 refers to Dick Tracy.

  59. Lowell
    February 22nd, 2013 at 8:58 am [Reply]

    No, no– those posters in Chip’s room aren’t anachronisms, they’re clearly commenting on the fact that young people today enjoy a post-modern democratic media landscape, where time and generational boundaries don’t play a role in their musical taste. I’m sure if we could see the other side of his room we’d find posters of Skrillex and Benny Goodman.

  60. S. Stout
    February 22nd, 2013 at 8:59 am [Reply]

    Luann: Remember that boomerang neckless that was so very special to Luann? Yeah, she already lost it.

    Hi&Lois: Everyone, meet Chippo! He’s Chip’s twin, forced to live in a bomb shelter for 16 years or so, which explains why he’s a blast from the past. Also, he murdered Chip, his body is over in the corner by the flies and the wall clock used to murder him.

  61. Raghead the Fiendly Neighbourhood Terrorist
    February 22nd, 2013 at 8:59 am [Reply]

    @Mr. O’Malley (#5): I thought it was a steam engine too. Especially from the look of the cabin. It’s got a very, very steam-engine layout to it.

    I have a strong feeling Sweatbox isn’t going to perish in a horrible train wreck, thus bringing the story to a premature end. There’s this recurrent old trope in comics like Tintin where the hero drives across the track millimetres ahead of a train, and the pursuing villains are stuck until it passes.

  62. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    February 22nd, 2013 at 9:04 am [Reply]

    Frazz: well, there is a lot of snow around Zurich.

    Dilbert: o dear Schultz . . .

    LaCuc: ouch!!! truth, but still.

    SBp: ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww. (that’s worse than Pibgorn.)

    OBH: speaking of Paul Bunyan. . .

    RMMD: now lay down and let me ‘clean your garage.’

    RwO: *golf clap*

    Retail: /facepalm.

    btw, thank you google, for pointing out that it’s Edward Gorey’s 88th B-Day.

  63. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    February 22nd, 2013 at 9:04 am [Reply]

    Love Is. . . once you go black. . . .

  64. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    February 22nd, 2013 at 9:09 am [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#47): *Ghost in the Shell flashbacks*

  65. Raghead the Fiendly Neighbourhood Terrorist
    February 22nd, 2013 at 9:15 am [Reply]

    @queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#62): “now lay down”

    Will the eggs be incubated?

  66. Dood
    February 22nd, 2013 at 9:19 am [Reply]

    Spider-Man: Shouldn’t Spidey try to be out of the way when Daredevil fires his chaff to confuse the missile? It could get messy.

  67. Nehemiah Scudder
    February 22nd, 2013 at 9:22 am [Reply]

    @Huckleberry Fink (#51): Has Nehemiah Scudder ordered his copy of John Rose’s “The Bodacious Best of Snuffy Smith” yet? Tell us — inquiring minds want to know!

    No.

    // Let me be as clear as the azure skies of deepest summer: I do not like John Rose’s Snuffy Smith. If you have to demonstrate that a particular concatenation of sentences is a joke by having the characters laugh at it with their tongues hanging out in the last panel of every strip, you are not a humorist, but a dunderhead, jobbernowl, and moon calf!

    That said, I am glad the Rose finally recognized the idiocy and injustice of having a strip officially called “Barney Google and Snuffy Smith” without every having Barney Google appear.

  68. Nehemiah Scudder
    February 22nd, 2013 at 9:25 am [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#67): that, ever

    Pfui!

  69. Oregonian
    February 22nd, 2013 at 9:26 am [Reply]

    There’s really no way to appreciate the foreshadowing in today’s Dick Tracy if you’re not one of the 40 million people who have watched the Dumb Ways to Die public service announcement.

  70. Vanya
    February 22nd, 2013 at 9:29 am [Reply]

    @Pilantes (#313): Holy mother of God, I think you’re right! And it only took 310 comments for someone to get the joke! I think most of us geekily assumed there was some actual musical content to the joke. Of course with Batiuk one should always assume the blindingly obvious stupid pun is in fact the joke.

  71. Nehemiah Scudder
    February 22nd, 2013 at 9:33 am [Reply]

    @Oregonian (#69): O gosh. Wouldn’t that be great to have Dick Tracy, and Mole, and Sweatbox, and Toad all doing the Dumb Ways to Die dance?

  72. Scooby Don't
    February 22nd, 2013 at 9:36 am [Reply]

    I remember seeing years ago a Playboy cartoon of Hester Prynne among the townsfolk with a smirk on her face and sporting a scarlet A+ on her puritan dress.

    I like that cartoon better.

  73. Nehemiah Scudder
    February 22nd, 2013 at 9:39 am [Reply]

    @Vanya (#Y315): @Rinaldo (#Y314):

    I think I lean towards Rinaldo’s explanation of “B-flat” as being a kind of musician slang for ordinary. I suppose Batuik COULD have been trying for a zeugma with the “be flat” pun, but I think that gives him too much credit.

  74. Dennis Jimenez
    February 22nd, 2013 at 9:40 am [Reply]

    JP – True to form – in panel two, a pair of incredible boobs….

  75. Rocky Stoneaxe
    February 22nd, 2013 at 9:41 am [Reply]

    Mary Worth Hearts Queen*

    Another one bites the dust
    Another one bites the dust
    And another one gone, and another one gone
    Another one bites the dust
    Hey, I’m gonna get you too
    Another one bites the dust

    *Not to be confused with “Mary Tudor: Queen of Hearts”!

  76. Nehemiah Scudder
    February 22nd, 2013 at 9:42 am [Reply]

    b>xkcd: Why is Randall Munroe’s mouseover shouting at me?

    Hi&Lo: I thought Chip would be more of a Sinatra, Perry Como, Pat Boone kind of guy. Maybe with a Brooklyn Dodgers banner.

    Tom the Dancing Bug: Now that the Rt. Ven and I have solved the problem of theodicy, Ruben Bolling explains the rest!

    Zits: But enough about theology. If you really, really want to believe in something utterly transcending mere quotidian rational thought: Axe body spray!

  77. Nehemiah Scudder
    February 22nd, 2013 at 9:45 am [Reply]

    @Cloudbuster (#28): @Scooby Don’t (#72):

    I’m pretty sure I saw that in Playboy.

    // I only read The New Yorker for the articles.

  78. Sequitur
    February 22nd, 2013 at 9:49 am [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#67): I looked at today’s BG&SS and tried to figure what “PFT” stood for. Pretty Fat Tit? Pure Fartin’ Turbulence? Pig Fuckin’ Tomcat? Petrified Frog Toes?

    But, no. PFT simply meant pft. A disgusted lip sound.

    Pft.

  79. Hibbleton
    February 22nd, 2013 at 9:52 am [Reply]

    JP: Randy has a bust in his chambers of that other great, red-headed interpreter of the laws of man: Dr. Zaius.

  80. endless sky
    February 22nd, 2013 at 9:55 am [Reply]

    FC: Oh, that sly Dolly! She realizes that if she learns how old her dad will be when she’s 100, she’ll know their age difference and can calculate how old he is now. We have not been giving this girl credit.

    Baby Blues: And Aunt Wanda makes a mental note to renew her birth control pill prescription.

  81. Artist formerly known as Ben
    February 22nd, 2013 at 9:57 am [Reply]

    DT: Run over by a train? Where’s the irony or poetic justice in that? Will he at least get hit by a boxcar with the word ”sweat” stenciled on the side?

    JP: Is April completely unavailable for Randy to get in touch with when she’s away? Or does Randy just not bother? Either way, sounds like the marriage-to-be is on solid footing.

    MW: I didn’t know Mary was even Catholic, but she certainly has the self confidence to be the new Pope, as well as the headgear she seems to be wearing in panel one.

    WofI: The third panel is entirely unneeded, as the “poppycock!” assertion of hipness is a pretty good joke in itself.

    C-Shaft: Friends don’t let friends learn driving with Crankshaft. Then again Crankshaft and Keesterman are supposed to be friends, so maybe we need to adjust our definitions.

    BH: “Very thorough, dear, but you misspelled ‘cunnilingus.’”

    GA: Rufus and Joel are still under the shared delusion that Rufus can marry Becky. Which he can’t, anymore than he can outsmart her.

    HtH: I can just hear the pitch for this gag. “No guys, you don’t understand. The house is really, really small. Trust me, it’ll be hilarious.”

    Phantom: Neither of these two gents has actually said the words “what could possibly go wrong?” but the spirit is there.

    FC: Never mind a hundred, it’s a nagging mystery how Dolly survived this long with only one nostril.

    DtM: Dennis Mitchell, ass-man in training.

    Momma: That… That’s actually pretty good advice. Broken clocks and Sonia Hobbs are both right twice a day, it seems.

    A3G: Gabby knows this scene too well. Martin eventually left his nutso wife for her. Now he’s set his sights on Greg, the randy old goat.

  82. TheDiva
    February 22nd, 2013 at 9:58 am [Reply]

    DT: I admit I don’t read this strip much anymore. It was a lot more fun when it was crazy.

    EC: And I’ve never read this strip, and after seeing they’re in the middle of Domestic Comedy Crisis #3 (wife’s inability to lose weight and/or keep it off), I really don’t have any desire to.

    H&L: I know we joke a lot about cartoonists being out of touch, but damn….even retro sixties went out twenty years ago!

  83. Doug Puthoff
    February 22nd, 2013 at 10:00 am [Reply]

    Retail–The Internet is not a fad. Cats know it exists. They mind-control people to put up cat memes on facebook. The cats are in charge now.

  84. Cloudbuster
    February 22nd, 2013 at 10:01 am [Reply]

    @Sequitur (#78): That’s all it means? Well, PFT! (Passionately flicked tongue)

  85. Dood
    February 22nd, 2013 at 10:02 am [Reply]

    Dennis the Menace: “My dad says that about a lot of girls.”

  86. Artist formerly known as Ben
    February 22nd, 2013 at 10:02 am [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#67):

    That said, I am glad the Rose finally recognized the idiocy and injustice of having a strip officially called “Barney Google and Snuffy Smith” without every having Barney Google appear.

    For his next trip, maybe Rose can take over Gil Thorp and have Gil Thorp show up once and a while. I was going to say “show up and coach” but that might be too much to ask.

  87. Cloudbuster
    February 22nd, 2013 at 10:04 am [Reply]

    @Hibbleton (#79): “You are right, I have always known about man. From the evidence, I believe his wisdom must walk hand and hand with his idiocy. His emotions must rule his brain. He must be a warlike creature who gives battle to everything around him, even himself. ” — Dr. Zaius.

    // Sam could do worse!

  88. Rocky Stoneaxe
    February 22nd, 2013 at 10:05 am [Reply]

    @pugfuggly (#50): Did you really expect a bootylicious Hester Prynne from
    Mike Peters? He’s a big FOOT cartoonist for cryin’ out loud! Unless you have some kind of weird foot fetish, Mr. Fuggly…

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#67): Drat, there goes my plan to borrow YOUR copy.

    @Scooby Don’t (#72): I missed that one. Because I only get Playboy for the ARTICLES.

  89. Cloudbuster
    February 22nd, 2013 at 10:05 am [Reply]

    @Cloudbuster (#87): Um, I mean Randy. “You are a menace. A walking pestilence.” — Dr. Zaius

  90. Artist formerly known as Ben
    February 22nd, 2013 at 10:07 am [Reply]

    @TheDiva (#82): You’re not missing much with Edge City. It generally takes what would be a dumb three-panel throwaway in Hi & Lois and stretches it out over two weeks. I’ve heard that Terry Laban has done some good things in alternative comix, so maybe that’s his passion and EC just pays the bills.

  91. Cloudbuster
    February 22nd, 2013 at 10:11 am [Reply]

    @Droopy Says (#18): With the uncharacteristically colorful shirts that Catfish wears, I’m pretty sure everyone in the Trailverse assumes that Catfish is there to “clean his rod”, “polish his tackle” and “help Rod dig for earthworms.”

  92. Marc
    February 22nd, 2013 at 10:11 am [Reply]

    9CL- It’s just a shame that this wasn’t a bull and it didn’t gore those two.

    A3G- So Old man McGee has known Greg for 30 seconds and now he already know what he wants?

    Mark Trail- Shouldn’t panel 3 actually be panel 1? I mean, I know Rusty is a moron, but does asking once again after getting the answer you want make any sense? This is God awfully arranged dialogue, even for jackelrod.

    Mary- Where is TSA during all of this? Shouldn’t Mary being getting tackled and cavity searched for being in a part of the airport that non-passengers are clearly no longer allowed in?

    Funky- What the fuck is wrong with these people?

    Luann- Hey look, here’s Tiffany being the good guy again and Luann being a dumb bitch. But Evans, I thought Luann was the golden goose of goodness? But, she clearly isn’t acting like it though. WHAT GIVES?!?!?!

    Cranky- Keesterman is going to put a bomb in that mailbox one of these days. Then the next time Crankshaft intentionally destroys his property, that’ll be the end of that miserable old bastard.

    Family Circus- When you’re 100, he’ll be long since dead and finally happy.

  93. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    February 22nd, 2013 at 10:12 am [Reply]

  94. ralph
    February 22nd, 2013 at 10:13 am [Reply]

    Pibgorn: Well, I see why this is a web comic.
    9CL: General thoughts: The drawing and color are nice today. Apparently the vet’s curriculum lacked both an ethics and a business class. After screaming at her customers, and stealing their property, she then pads her bill. “All vets do.” Apparently the cow has been returned despite all that blather about being stolen. Finally: This guy doesn’t seem to know squat about rural life, although that’s apparently a major element in the strip. And, this guy doesn’t seem to know squat about plotting.
    Personal story: When I went to college there was an effort to “match” dorm roommates. One of my high school friends (from the country) planned to become a large animal vet. One of my new friends (from the city) planned to become a small animal vet. They were paired, and it was a very unpleasant experience for them both. Whatshername appears to be at best a small animal vet and should be allowed nowhere near people who raise animals for food or sale.
    RM: Oh, please. Make Honey promise to see a counselor, and try locking the apartment door.

  95. Cloudbuster
    February 22nd, 2013 at 10:14 am [Reply]

    DTM: I was always a Gina fan myself, but I’m willing to give the Ginger in the short skirt a second look.

  96. Midtown
    February 22nd, 2013 at 10:17 am [Reply]

    @Artist formerly known as Ben (#81): FC: I am forming the “Fight Uni-nostril Foundation” to sponsor research to find a cure for this affliction. Contributions and celebrity endorsements are welcome.

  97. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    February 22nd, 2013 at 10:19 am [Reply]

  98. Huckleberry Fink
    February 22nd, 2013 at 10:20 am [Reply]

    @Artist formerly known as Ben (#90): And all this time I thought Terry LaBan was a woman. I must have mixed him up with the lady who does “The Pajama Diaries.”

  99. Artist formerly known as Ben
    February 22nd, 2013 at 10:22 am [Reply]

    @pugfuggly (#40): The construction workers in FW yelled because they were raising dust from the school’s old asbestos installation and the bandleader wasn’t wearing a mask or goggles. Little did they know that cancer was his destiny and there was nothing they could do.

  100. Artist formerly known as Ben
    February 22nd, 2013 at 10:24 am [Reply]

    @Huckleberry Fink (#98): Not quite, but you did send me on a semi-panicked Wikipedia hunt to see if I had screwed that one up.

  101. Liam
    February 22nd, 2013 at 10:28 am [Reply]

    MW-”You’ve done grand, Mary. Now you know what you have to do. Burn the house down. Burn them all.”

  102. Feltwright
    February 22nd, 2013 at 10:29 am [Reply]

    DT: Can anyone explain the difference in coloration between the Darkgate/gocomics version and what Uncle Lumpy posted? Are there other strips that have such a large variation?

  103. Rocky Stoneaxe
    February 22nd, 2013 at 10:30 am [Reply]

    Uncle Lumpy: “Obsessive neurotic Abby Ardin ….”

    Since Terry LaBan’s wife Patty LaBan is also a therapist, I’m thinking there’s an acrimonious divorce in their future.

  104. Liam
    February 22nd, 2013 at 10:30 am [Reply]

    A3G-”Gabby, you can watch me and Greg eat breakfast.”

  105. TheDiva
    February 22nd, 2013 at 10:31 am [Reply]

    9CL: Livestock-owning ‘Mudges: first, let me say that your discussion about this arc’s failings has been interesting and informative, and I appreciate it. So help me out here: just how often do you name your animals, anyway? When my brother and sister-in-law were setting up to keep chickens they were advised against it as it would make the inevitable killing-and-eating part of the business rather awkward.

    Also, Juliette’s Vet Friend (does she even have a name?) is apparently in trouble with the law not for cattle rustling, but for fraudulent billing practices.

    C’shaft: It’s funny because he’s an asshole.

    FW: It’s funny because he’s an asshole.

    Luann: Logic according to Luann:
    Tiffany gives Luann sane, rational advice regarding personal relationships online. Tiffany must know these things because she’s a slut.
    Luann reacts to Tiffany’s sane, rational advice by calling her a slut. Luann is a clever, witty girl who is in no way deriving pleasure from the thought of Tiffany enduring humiliation, emotional trauma, and personal risk.

    MW: Mary’s such a control freak, she doesn’t even trust other people to properly sing her praises now! (And she’s also apparently a Jewish male now, for some reason.)

    Pluggers are proud to see the first member of their family graduate elementary school.

    Retail: Word. (No seriously, that rewards card thing is bullshit, especially if you’re a repeat customer. I had a Target cashier who knew me and the Divalings by sight, and STILL tried to push their damn card on me every time I checked out even though I’d repeatedly said I wasn’t interested. Eventually I started avoiding her register in favor of her less aggressive co-workers. Okay, personal rant over, go about your business.)

    Pibgorn: No really, Brooke, your insistence in depicting your strawman this way is even more immature than the behavior you attribute to him. Right now the only difference between you and a playground bully is a thesaurus.

    SM: Well, you could bumble your way through this, make things worse, and then let random outside circumstance resolve everything; that usually works…

  106. Cloudbuster
    February 22nd, 2013 at 10:35 am [Reply]

    @TheDiva (#105): I avoid naming anything I plan to eat.

  107. Steve
    February 22nd, 2013 at 10:36 am [Reply]

    S-M: Spider-Man wishes to revise and extend his remarks. “Here I am, chasing Daredevil! What a way to spend Valentine’s Day, Lincoln’s Birthday and Washington’s Birthday!”

  108. jim, some guy in iowa
    February 22nd, 2013 at 10:40 am [Reply]

    9CL: this week was certainly an example of ignorance in action. he could have done something worthwhile there, but instead just creates another stage for his characters’ ego trips. kind of sad, really

  109. Sequitur
    February 22nd, 2013 at 10:42 am [Reply]

    Speed Bump: The guy has been reading about Baka Gaijin’s prehensile anus.

  110. The Right Venerable Pasdordan
    February 22nd, 2013 at 10:43 am [Reply]

    Apt. 3-G: “Come on, Gabby. Greg and I need breakfast. We’ll just step over this body of an aging professor…and down the elevator to the cafeteria. Careful, love, you almost touched his goatee there.”

    Arlo and Janis: With all the picking we/I do at the comics, sometimes it’s worth noting when things go right. Look at panel two: somebody’s actually paid attention to cat anatomy, and managed to catch its mix of muscle and blob in just a few simple pen strokes. It’s only a little thing, but it’s the little things that make great strips.

    9 Chickweed Lane: Speaking of when things go right, McEldowney’s actually chosen a pretty good palate here, with none of those stupid Photoshop washes in the background. It’s a pleasing, well-executed winter scene. Well done, Sir. Now, work on your goddamn dialogue.

    Crock: I’ve come to think of this strip as the comics equivalent of a numbers station, sending out random gibberish made intelligible by, and for the use of, not you.

    Dick Tracy: if the DT team has an ounce of self-respect, Monday’s strip will cut to Tracy and his minions chuckling about the spectacular splat produced by a Baux-vs.-train collision. Oh, who am I kidding? This is going to be ultra-gore, and we’ll lap it right up.

    Judge Parker: Actually, Puerto Rico has a higher murder rate than Mexico, and Honduras has the highest in the world, but I don’t suppose we’ll hear anything about that. No, it’s going to be all “don’t drink the water, Okay, I won’t drink the water” reaction panels for months.

    The Lockhorns: Ah, nobody does post-industrial despair and anomie better than the Lockhorns.

    Mark Trail: Theory: much like the death-prone Venture Brothers, Rusty is actually a clone regenerated after each grisly incident of sexual torture and murder. “Is this a good time to take a few pictures of the inside the van?” Jesus, kid, really? Well, that’s okay, your “brother” can take over for you next week.

    Mary Worth: We’ve reached the “smug self-congratulation” portion of this storyline. Expect a cliche on Sunday. You could set your watch by it, or, if you’re a ‘mudge, you could time your drinking binges around it. Now, where did I put that gin?

    Rex Morgan, M.D.: A. That bed is enormous. B. June knows what Honey can’t: that .25 auto is going off very soon, freeing Honey for a little trip up to Santa Royale for, um, “re-education.”

  111. Currer Bell
    February 22nd, 2013 at 10:47 am [Reply]

    Mother Goose and Grimm: This is totally a joke about bra cup sizes. I mean, c’mon, grading on a *curve*? Going from an A to a C+?

  112. bats :[
    February 22nd, 2013 at 10:48 am [Reply]

    @MySpoonIsTooBig (#1): oh, Luann, how I loathe you…or maybe just your self-righteousness.
    No, I’m pretty sure it’s all of you.

  113. Rocky Stoneaxe
    February 22nd, 2013 at 10:50 am [Reply]

    One Big Happy — Paul Bunyon and Babe the Blue Ox both rate a mention in today’s comic:

    http://www.creators.com/comics/one-big-happy/102055.html

    Still no mention of Bemidji, Minnesota (the curling capital of the USA). Well, two out of three ain’t bad!

  114. Sequitur
    February 22nd, 2013 at 10:51 am [Reply]

    I endorse today’s Wizard of Id.

  115. bats :[
    February 22nd, 2013 at 10:53 am [Reply]

    @Cloudbuster (#24): and I just want to make sure that a certain somebody* has her moment (I posted this last night in the wee(wee) hours…).

    *with four legs, not two

  116. The Right Venerable Pasdordan
    February 22nd, 2013 at 10:53 am [Reply]

    @TheDiva (#105): The dairy farmers I’ve known tell me they number their cows, rather than name them, so they don’t become pets. They also say that some of them have more personality than others. Take it for what it’s worth.

  117. jim, some guy in iowa
    February 22nd, 2013 at 10:56 am [Reply]

    TheDiva: sometimes i’ll name a calf or a cow, usually for either a physical characteristic (“spot”, say) or trait (“sneaker” is the one who always finds the weak spots in the fences) but most don’t get names

  118. The Right Venerable Pasdordan
    February 22nd, 2013 at 11:00 am [Reply]

    @jim, some guy in iowa (#117): Do you track them with the bar-coded ear tags?

  119. Rocky Stoneaxe
    February 22nd, 2013 at 11:00 am [Reply]

    @Sequitur (#114): Were you financially compensated for your endorsement? (Being in Jeff Parker’s back pocket is no way to go through life, son!)

  120. Cloudbuster
    February 22nd, 2013 at 11:01 am [Reply]

    @bats :[ (#115): Cow sans Boy! Yay!

  121. Mikey
    February 22nd, 2013 at 11:05 am [Reply]

    @Mars (#6): Edge City is in my local paper. For those who don’t read it let me summarize: Obsessive Neurotic Abby, Insufferable lazy prick Len, 2 lazy children, lots of Spiderman type “?!!” stuff.

  122. Al of the Christian Singles Jungle Patrol
    February 22nd, 2013 at 11:07 am [Reply]

    @Cloudbuster (#32): PHB put Wally in charge of the nukes. Which is good, as Alice would probably borrow one to clear a traffic jam on her commute home.

  123. Chrissy the Stooges Woman :-)
    February 22nd, 2013 at 11:09 am [Reply]

    Today’s “Hi & Lois” begins a “very special” sixteen-week story arc reverse-gender remake of “Back to the Future”, in which Lois travels back in time to meet her groovy “with-it” dad, who will later invite her to join him at the Enchantment Under the Sea Dance featuring a Led Zeppelin cover band. Co-starring Christopher Lloyd as “Chip”.

  124. Casino LF
    February 22nd, 2013 at 11:10 am [Reply]

    RMMD: Honey reminds me of friends from my early twenties who were convinced they’d “never get married” and thought it was time to start settling. “OHHH MY LIFE IS OVER, I AM SINGLE AND 22!” (Ex-friends, I’d add).

    JP: This is how you elope: You wed, and THEN tell people. Whatever you are doing, it’s not that.

    Funky: Wow, what a waste of time, hanging out at a construction site for a high school, where your band room will undoubtedly look like every single other room, but slightly larger.

  125. Sequitur
    February 22nd, 2013 at 11:13 am [Reply]

    @Rocky Stoneaxe (#119): Well, Parker said that if I endoresed it he would not publish Wizard of Id for a month.

    I’m starting to have second thoughts about this. I think he played me.

    I was once forced to complement Crock.

    I am so easily manipulated. Just call me Pig.

    I also like falling out of trees.

  126. bats :[
    February 22nd, 2013 at 11:18 am [Reply]

    @Huckleberry Fink (#44): and Sam Driver, Stupidly Rich Attorney, isn’t as dumb as he looks. (Or, great minds think alike, Huckleberry.)

  127. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    February 22nd, 2013 at 11:19 am [Reply]

    MW: “You did good, Mary—and you scored a cool 5 Gs in the process!”

    JP: I was going to scoff at Sam’s Mexiphobia, having spent a week in Mexico by myself recently, but then I remembered that I don’t walk around flashing my affluence at every random passerby.

    MT: Who says this strip isn’t timely? This weekend is the Bassmaster Classic, with enough goatee-shaped facial hair to keep Mark punching for weeks!

  128. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    February 22nd, 2013 at 11:21 am [Reply]

    @Liam (#27):

    MW 3-”That’ll do pig. That’ll do.”

    You mean I’m not the only person who mentally recites those lines after any task is completed? Phew.

    DtM: At last, we learn the truth: Dennis is a 62-year-old man who’s been checking out Ol’ Margaret’s ass for years.

  129. Mikey
    February 22nd, 2013 at 11:23 am [Reply]

    MW:So Santa Royale has like a condo community, an old pier, a couple of restaurants, and an airport big enough for 747′s to land and take off from. Makes sense.

  130. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    February 22nd, 2013 at 11:26 am [Reply]

    @queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#93): I love the way that brave pup tries to bite the snow!

  131. jim, some guy in iowa
    February 22nd, 2013 at 11:26 am [Reply]

    @The Right Venerable Pasdordan (#118):

    no, i’m pretty low tech. those tags were going to be legally required at one time, but that seems to be on the back burner now

  132. Hibbleton
    February 22nd, 2013 at 11:28 am [Reply]

    @Cloudbuster (#89):
    I think that was originally Camus: “Randi, vous êtes une tête poopy!”

  133. jim, some guy in iowa
    February 22nd, 2013 at 11:29 am [Reply]

    @jim, some guy in iowa (#131): also i should say i have beef cows… dairy guys use those tags for automated feeding systems

  134. ralph
    February 22nd, 2013 at 11:31 am [Reply]

    9CL: I have to admit that I am a reverse-snob when it comes to farming and ranching. My default sympathy goes to the guy trying to make a living, not to the urban dilettante with some vanity acreage. The essence of farming is making a living from the land, raising crops or animals. “Living in the country” does not make you a farmer, even if you have a horse and a hayfield. I get a certain satisfaction knowing that Ms. Twit, if she makes a habit of abusing and cheating her customers, will soon be out of business, and heading back to the city where she belongs. If the “redneck scum” really are abusing their animals, someone should turn them in, and they’ll be prosecuted. Apparently “beating Twinkly with bats” wasn’t a big deal after all since the scum got their cow back.
    Now can the strip move on to some other storyline so that I can go back to ignoring it?

  135. TheDiva
    February 22nd, 2013 at 11:38 am [Reply]

    @jim, some guy in iowa (#117): One of my brother’s roosters, for reasons that probably don’t need to be explained, wound up being called “Asshole.” I’m not sure if this made it easier or harder when his time came, but it does suggest some interesting conversational possibilities (“We’re eating Asshole tonight…”).

    Thanks for the responses, everyone. There are obviously a variety of shades in human-animal relationships between “cherished pet” and “horrific and disgusting abuse,” but Brooke’s I’m-right-and-everyone-else-is-stupid perspective of the world doesn’t seem to recognize them.

  136. hogenmogen
    February 22nd, 2013 at 11:40 am [Reply]

    H&L: The Who, Dylan and Zep were sort of too old for me, sort of too young for my dad. I think Chip is more like the uncle who used to be a flower child but now is on the course to become a right wing radio host.

  137. Will
    February 22nd, 2013 at 11:45 am [Reply]

    @TheDiva (#105): One of my best friends grew up on a small farm. They always kept one steer named “Hamburger.” It didn’t pay to get too attached to him.

  138. jim, some guy in iowa
    February 22nd, 2013 at 11:47 am [Reply]

    @ralph (#134):

    i can’t say bad things don’t happen on farms. but you know, a lot of the time, when an animal abuse thing makes the news, it’s a situation where someone tries to save or otherwise accumulates more animals than they can afford to feed, won’t give them up, and then someone (possibly a veterinarian) turns them in because the poor things are starving

  139. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    February 22nd, 2013 at 11:50 am [Reply]

    @bourbon babe, unbuckled (#130): same here. it was giggle-worthy in the extreme.

  140. Shrug, Broken by Winter
    February 22nd, 2013 at 11:50 am [Reply]

    @Doodle Bean (#20):

    “Mike Peters (Mother Goose and Grimm) knows so little about fornication that he thinks there’s a teacher, syllabus and grading curve!”

    Well, sure! And it’s a tough, demanding, exhausting course! That’s why all the students look forward to spring break, when they can go down to Florida to read a book or do crossword puzzles or something and get away from all that horrid day-in day-out fornication grind for one blessed relaxing week.

  141. hogenmogen
    February 22nd, 2013 at 11:50 am [Reply]

    MG&G: I don’t know how Hester’s scarlet A turns into a C+ if she’s being graded on a curve. Isn’t the current mockable trend the grade inflation of today, that it is so much easier to score an A for average performance vs yesteryear when it was held for only a few exceptional students?

    And, like 20+ years ago, there was a Playboy one-panel that had a satisfied looking Hester Prynne with a scarlet A+. Given the sexual context of Playboy mag, you can guess that it didn’t refer to her blood type. This dumbed down Hester is smugly content with a C+, which is average for yesteryear, and below average in today’s everybody-is-a-winner school system.

    I don’t usually hate on MG&G, but this one is a stinker.

  142. hogenmogen
    February 22nd, 2013 at 11:57 am [Reply]

    FW:
    Dinkle: The head contractor had me banned from the site!

    Other dude: Lucky. The foreman at my school just got some of his guys to kick my ass.

  143. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    February 22nd, 2013 at 11:57 am [Reply]

    @hogenmogen (#141): Yeah, it perplexed me, too. Usually, when students talk about “grading on a curve,” they’re talking about something that benefits them. The only way her grade would go down would be if about half the women in town were better lays than she was—and if that were the case, wouldn’t more of those men be smiling?

  144. Nehemiah Scudder
    February 22nd, 2013 at 11:59 am [Reply]

    @hogenmogen (#136): The Who, Dylan and Zep were sort of too old for me, sort of too young for my dad.

    Those artists probably had the most teenage fans in the very late sixties, early seventies. Which means those teenagers are are probably about 60 now, plus or minus a few. Which means that this strip is targeted toward those who still think of The Who, Zep, and Dylan, if they think of them at all, as being a teenage thing. That is, the target audience is twenty years older, so 80 plus or minus.

    // Yikes.

  145. Nehemiah Scudder
    February 22nd, 2013 at 12:04 pm [Reply]

    @hogenmogen (#142): Oh dear, Yorkshiremen again!

    3rd Band Leader: If ONLY they had just kicked my ass! The foreman at my school (insert violent Quentin Tarantino scene here).

  146. Nehemiah Scudder
    February 22nd, 2013 at 12:07 pm [Reply]

    @The Right Venerable Pasdordan (#110): McEldowney’s actually chosen a pretty good palate here

    Pretty tasty colors, eh?

  147. LP2004
    February 22nd, 2013 at 12:08 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#144): I don’t know. My fifteen-year-old prefers ’70s-era classic rock over most of the more recent stuff (I’m so proud… *sniff*), and I’ve seen kids younger than her walking around wearing Led Zeppelin t-shirts.

  148. Nehemiah Scudder
    February 22nd, 2013 at 12:09 pm [Reply]

    @Will (#137): Yep. I knew a guy had a few cattle, one named “Chuck”.

  149. Sequitur
    February 22nd, 2013 at 12:09 pm [Reply]

    H&L: Maybe Chip is the music commodorejohn. He’s a younger person that knows all about the old stuff and likes it.

    There’s a radio station here (AM) that plays music of the 1940′s and 50′s, the stuff my parents listened to. They have a big demographic of teenages listening to them.

  150. pugfuggly
    February 22nd, 2013 at 12:12 pm [Reply]

    @Rocky Stoneaxe (#88):

    Did you really expect a bootylicious Hester Prynne from Mike Peters? He’s a big FOOT cartoonist for cryin’ out loud! Unless you have some kind of weird foot fetish, Mr. Fuggly…

    As a drama comic fan, I’d have to say I’m more into non-euclidean tits and bland interchangeable faces. I rarely look below the waist so feet don’t really come into it.

    And with that I can expect to have my pseudonym placed on some kind of special registry….

    @Artist formerly known as Ben (#99):

    The construction workers in FW yelled because they were raising dust from the school’s old asbestos installation and the bandleader wasn’t wearing a mask or goggles. Little did they know that cancer was his destiny and there was nothing they could do.

    “I’ve told you before, buddy, you’re banned from this site. For christ’s sake, we’ve lost 16 days of so far this year to cancer runs, I can’t afford one more on the calendar!”

  151. bbofun
    February 22nd, 2013 at 12:12 pm [Reply]

    @ralph (#94):
    Re:9CL- You seem to assume the story is over. Oh, no, we ain’t gettin’ off that easily. There is far more to this story, which will explain why Ms. Vet felt the need (nay, THE DUTY!) to steal the cow away from her owners.(BTW- if she’s been a vet in this town for awhile, why has she never dealt with these farmers before?)
    I’m betting we won’t get to the actual theft until at least Wednesday of next week.

    MW- Oh, crap. This means we’re in for at least one full week of Mary patting herself on the back, discussing how amazing she is with her friends, writing an Ask Wendy column about fulfilling your dreams (with her help, of course)- and I bet we don’t even get a pool party out of it, since we just had one. Le Sigh.

  152. hogenmogen
    February 22nd, 2013 at 12:13 pm [Reply]

    DtM: I love the sun shining through her dress
    I like her better when she walks away
    I like her hair in a tangled mess
    I like her better when she walks away

  153. Uncle Lumpy
    February 22nd, 2013 at 12:14 pm [Reply]

    @hogenmogen (#141):

    Well, if a multiple-choice exam (or an essay exam graded by a “soft” T.A.) came back with raw grades distributed around 95% ± S.D.=2%, you could legitimately curve a 96% to a C+, although woe betide you trying to explain it to the class.

    I had a student complain about grading on the curve on the basis that “it’s just not fair, your grade should be your grade.” I said I would be happy to convert his (curved) D- back to a (raw) 23%. He declined, but still thought it wasn’t fair somehow.

  154. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    February 22nd, 2013 at 12:18 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#146): mushrooms, it’s what’s for breakfast.

  155. hogenmogen
    February 22nd, 2013 at 12:19 pm [Reply]

    @bbofun (#151): “Ms. Vet”??? That’s Dr. Vet, thank you very much. Not licking the toenails of Burber women and their ilk can get you labeled as one who has the wit of beef!

  156. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    February 22nd, 2013 at 12:20 pm [Reply]

    @Uncle Lumpy (#153): so, said student had to. . .

    *dons sunglasses*

    Take his lumps?

    *YEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH*

  157. Nehemiah Scudder
    February 22nd, 2013 at 12:24 pm [Reply]

    @Uncle Lumpy (#153): That must have been one hell of a tough test, if 23 was barely passing. Did any of the A’s get more than 50%?

    // Like I keep telling the Rt. Ven. Pasdordan, theodicy should NOT be that tough.

    Malt does more than Milton Uncle Lumpy can,
    To justify God’s ways to man.

  158. I speak Jive
    February 22nd, 2013 at 12:29 pm [Reply]

    Funky Winkerbean – All hidebound traditionalists take note: the past week’s strips have been Batiuk’s conception of “funny.”

    Mary Worth had better watch her back instead of patting herself on it. June Morgan can match her platitude for platitude.

  159. Nehemiah Scudder
    February 22nd, 2013 at 12:31 pm [Reply]

    @queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#154): Most people I knew boiled the ‘shrooms for what was called “tea”. It was horrible tasting, and took a lot of ‘shrooms to be effective.

    If you fry them in butter, though, with a little chili powder, they taste kind of like pizza, and just a cap or two will do ya.

    // Or so I heard.

  160. RavenHawk
    February 22nd, 2013 at 12:32 pm [Reply]

    @pugfuggly (#55): Exactly.

  161. hogenmogen
    February 22nd, 2013 at 12:35 pm [Reply]

    @Uncle Lumpy (#153): There’s a lot of ethics that go into the straight vs curve grading. There was a chem exam the day after spring break, and the material was the most challenging of the year. The class average was south of 40%. To pass, you only had to get 25%. Random guesses would give you 20%.

    Is it the fault of the guy who scheduled it for right after spring break? Is it the fault of the class for not really working at the challenging course material? Is it the fault of the professors for not teaching it so that the students could really get it?

    In case you’re wondering, I studied with my Oriental roommate. Six people tied for top score out of around a thousand. From what my roommate was saying, I think I was the only non-Asian in that six.

  162. Nehemiah Scudder
    February 22nd, 2013 at 12:36 pm [Reply]

    So, Mary Worth. It’s Friday. What do you think, fellow mudges? A Saturday strip in which she continues to congratulate herself, then a Sunday, ditto, with bogus quote? And then an NEW Adventure!

    Or another week of her friends praising her for the Dill do.

  163. bats :[
    February 22nd, 2013 at 12:36 pm [Reply]

    @queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#93): YESH! Without constant vigilance, snow can happen here!

  164. Artist formerly known as Ben
    February 22nd, 2013 at 12:42 pm [Reply]

    Arlo & Janis: The cat peers between Janis’ legs and thinks, “Why do they call it that? It looks nothing like me.”

    Doonesbury: So Alex, are you volunteering to cut ties with Darpa if they have any non-hideous guys working for them?

  165. Liam
    February 22nd, 2013 at 12:42 pm [Reply]

    Hi and Lois-Chip’s taste in music doesn’t surprise me that much. His Uncle Beetle Bailey has been stuck in a certain time period for the last fifty years. So why shouldn’t the rest of his family be stuck in that time period too.

  166. bats :[
    February 22nd, 2013 at 12:43 pm [Reply]

    @Liam (#101): aside from some petty larceny, I think Mary will be okay…a little snort, a little pool party…

  167. hogenmogen
    February 22nd, 2013 at 12:44 pm [Reply]

    @I speak Jive (#158): Funky Winkerbean – All hidebound traditionalists take note: the past week’s strips have been Batiuk’s conception of “funny.”

    Yeah, y’know what might be better than old men talking about strange things that happened? Maybe showing these things? Dink & his aged pals recounting old memories is sort of sweet and all that, but I’ve got my own tales of fading glory. Hell, look at my comment #161, where I couldn’t help but brag about my curve-breaking chem score from decades ago. Comics are not a good media for that sort of thing, unless it’s in the form of a flashback, and even then, use sparingly.

  168. bats :[
    February 22nd, 2013 at 12:48 pm [Reply]

    @TheDiva (#105): I know several urban chicken flocks, and two folks who own them. They name their birds, which is keen when they gather eggs, not so keen when it comes to making meat out of them. One lady lets them live a long, happy life, and when the end comes, the old hens are buried. The other lady has other chicken herder colleagues, and when it’s time to thin the herd for meat, they’ll do the deed for another owner, since they’re not attached to *those* hens.

  169. Artist formerly known as Ben
    February 22nd, 2013 at 12:50 pm [Reply]

    @bourbon babe, unbuckled (#127): The Bassmaster Classic? Wasn’t that the blender that Dan Aykroyd drank a fish smoothie from?

  170. Calico
    February 22nd, 2013 at 12:54 pm [Reply]

    @bourbon babe, unbuckled (#127):
    Mary always, always, gets her points. If you’re late, God help you.

  171. Calico
    February 22nd, 2013 at 12:56 pm [Reply]

    One comma too many, je pense.
    Why is she wearing a Yarmulke at the airport? I thought only men were supposed / allowed to wear those.

  172. Sequitur
    February 22nd, 2013 at 12:57 pm [Reply]

    @bats :[ (#166): Instead of writing to “Dear Wendy” shouldn’t Luann be writing to (and I think Nehemiah Scudder would agree) “Dear Weirdly?”

  173. Artist formerly known as Ben
    February 22nd, 2013 at 12:57 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#145): I’d go for the classic “sliced off my ear and doused me in gasoline” but there are other good options.

  174. Calico
    February 22nd, 2013 at 12:58 pm [Reply]

    @bats :[ (#166):
    OMG I just now saw your mashup! LOL
    Tips, veal, Manischevitz

  175. Sequitur
    February 22nd, 2013 at 1:03 pm [Reply]

    If you’re having a crummy day, just think, you could be in Guam!

  176. Calico
    February 22nd, 2013 at 1:05 pm [Reply]

    @Calico (#170):
    “You were warned, John-the money goes up to Mary.”

  177. Calico
    February 22nd, 2013 at 1:08 pm [Reply]

    @Sequitur (#175):
    Instead of frogs or the occasional Coke bottle.
    I hope they pass quickly and do not suffer from eating the little parachutes too should that happen.

  178. Shrug, Selling Out Easily
    February 22nd, 2013 at 1:08 pm [Reply]

    @Rocky Stoneaxe (#119):

    “(Being in Jeff Parker’s back pocket is no way to go through life, son!)”

    I’m reminded of my favorite line in A MAN FOR ALL SEASONS:

    “Richard, it profits a man nothing to give his soul for the whole world… but for Wales?”

  179. Rocky Stoneaxe
    February 22nd, 2013 at 1:10 pm [Reply]

    Dick Tracy — Personally, I like trains and the people who operate them.
    If we’re going to have a fiery crash at a railroad crossing, why can’t it be between Sweatbox and Ed Crankshaft

    http://www.jsonline.com/comics/32402404.html?feature_id=Crankshaft&feature_date=2013-02-21

  180. Red Greenback
    February 22nd, 2013 at 1:12 pm [Reply]

    @Artist formerly known as Ben (#169): Didn’t Sophie Spencer buy a couple of those?

    MG+G: Hester earned that C+ in a b-flat hotel room.

    FW: “The banned room. That was a joke.” -Ed Crankshaft

  181. Shrug, Trying Hard to Keep Current
    February 22nd, 2013 at 1:12 pm [Reply]

    @bourbon babe, unbuckled (#127):

    “that I don’t walk around flashing my affluence at every random passerby.”

    Is that what you older kids are calling it these days?

  182. Lumaca Morente
    February 22nd, 2013 at 1:12 pm [Reply]

    @Uncle Lumpy (#153): See, now, I didn’t even think about MG&G in terms of a classroom grade. I assumed that for her sin, Hester was condemned to spend a lonely life as a computer programmer.

  183. ReFlex76
    February 22nd, 2013 at 1:14 pm [Reply]

    @Marc (#92): So, Tiffany slut-shaming Luann makes her a “good guy,” while Luann calling out Tiffany’s hypocrisy makes her a “dumb bitch.”

  184. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    February 22nd, 2013 at 1:14 pm [Reply]

    @Artist formerly known as Ben (#169): that was the Bass-o-matic.

  185. Calico
    February 22nd, 2013 at 1:15 pm [Reply]

    @Calico (#176):
    “Oh, but Love grows where my ROSEMARY goes…” *Snip*

    JP – Yes, Heads Up, Judge! You know how Cranky those cartel folks can be.
    *rimshot*
    Say, did you ever hear the one about the Toxic Taco?

  186. Lumaca Morente
    February 22nd, 2013 at 1:15 pm [Reply]

    Just by coincidence, my paper carried a Washington Post article about the effects of the budget sequestration on the National Zoo’s ability to feed the animals. There’s a nice picture of the curator who is “in charge of these hungry goats as well as the big cats.” My immediate thought: Feed the hungry goats to the big cats. Because there’s only so much Phantom to go around, know what I mean?

  187. Poteet
    February 22nd, 2013 at 1:15 pm [Reply]

    @bats :[ (#Y310): Highly gratifying!

  188. ReFlex76
    February 22nd, 2013 at 1:16 pm [Reply]

    Luann: Yes Tiff, we’re aware of your Rule 34 pics; well, before they were taken down.

  189. Amos Snarkadder
    February 22nd, 2013 at 1:16 pm [Reply]

    @ Calico #171
    Probably Reconstructionist. Mary is such a radical, she may even put an orange on the Seder plate.

  190. Poteet
    February 22nd, 2013 at 1:17 pm [Reply]

  191. Lumaca Morente
    February 22nd, 2013 at 1:17 pm [Reply]

    @Shrug, Trying Hard to Keep Current (#181): “Flashing my affluence”, heh heh, “that’s me swan. Want to see me loon?”

  192. Poteet
    February 22nd, 2013 at 1:18 pm [Reply]

    @Cloudbuster (#24): I hope remembering that will help me get through the rest of this cattle-exhaust story.

  193. Uncle Lumpy
    February 22nd, 2013 at 1:18 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#157):

    That must have been one hell of a tough test, if 23 was barely passing. Did any of the A’s get more than 50%?

    I aimed for a 50% average raw score, and usually got close. It’s pointless to write questions that everybody’s going to get right, or wrong. As for “straight” grading (using the raw scores), maybe a really experienced professor could write tests from scratch that give reasonable distributions, but in most cases it means re-using questions from previous tests. And in today’s academic environment, that raises significant risks.

    @hogenmogen (#161):

    The usual objection to normalized grading is, “What if we’re just a really unusually great class and the norms don’t apply?” I might buy that in a five-student seminar (graded on papers and essays), but not in a 300-student intro class. And believe me, if a big class is even fractionally above the norm, the professor is gonna know it and give everybody a nice bump out of sheer bliss.

  194. Liam
    February 22nd, 2013 at 1:19 pm [Reply]

    Doonesbury-Unnecessary jealousy begins to rear it’s ugly head.

    MT-”Please, mister, let me get inside your van. You have no idea what it’s like to live with Mark. He promises to take me fishing but I never get to go.”

    MW-”Those who stare at the blackness of the back of Mary Worth’s head is stared at by the blackness of the back of Mary Worth’s head.”

  195. Rocky Stoneaxe
    February 22nd, 2013 at 1:21 pm [Reply]

    @hogenmogen (#152): Except Dennis the Menace is more Emmett Kelly than Reckless Kelly. (Sorry, Baka!)

  196. Poteet
    February 22nd, 2013 at 1:24 pm [Reply]

    9CL — My wonderful vet works with both companion animals and livestock, and I strongly suspect her basic reaction to that final panel would be “Don’t generalize about other veterinarians.” She’s too nice to add “you asshole.”

  197. Sequitur
    February 22nd, 2013 at 1:25 pm [Reply]

    Now we know. Westview is in China.

  198. Liam
    February 22nd, 2013 at 1:25 pm [Reply]

    MW-Long after John Dill left Mary stayed behind in the airport just randomly waving at the all planes as they take off.

    MW 2-”Excuse me ma’am. Can stop being so full of yourself? Your giant head is pushing the other people out of the panel.”

    MW 3-The only other time I’ve seen a head like Mary Worth’s in that last panel is those clown heads at the fair that you fill up with water.

    JP-”And by a little dicey I mean I hope that you don’t get caught in the middle of some drug war or kidnapped and have your organs harvested and sold on the black market.”

  199. Poteet
    February 22nd, 2013 at 1:31 pm [Reply]

    @Cloudbuster (#26): As far as I’m concerned, you are welcome to provide factual information every day in response to the latest reality-murder in 9CL. Anyone who isn’t interested could skip your info, but I and I’ll bet some other Mudges would enjoy it. You could be an antidote to the disease, as it were, and also rationalization for my reading 9CL in the first place.

  200. Rocky Stoneaxe
    February 22nd, 2013 at 1:31 pm [Reply]

    @Lumaca Morente (#186): Feed the hungry goats to the big cats.

    I wouldn’t expect a Christmas card from True Fable this year if I were you.

  201. Artist formerly known as Ben
    February 22nd, 2013 at 1:34 pm [Reply]

    @queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#184): … which is also fun to say. ;)

  202. Dood
    February 22nd, 2013 at 1:34 pm [Reply]

    Judge Parker: Is it a rule that someone of the Spencer-Parker-Driver clan must always remain in Spencer-Parker-Driverville to monitor the money spigot while the others cavort and adventure for handsome payouts?

  203. Calico
    February 22nd, 2013 at 1:34 pm [Reply]

    @Amos Snarkadder (#189):
    A nice touch! : )
    Mary Worth, the new Wonder Woman

  204. yaoi huntress earth
    February 22nd, 2013 at 1:35 pm [Reply]

    Dustin: How the hell did this idiot even make it through college; let alone middle school? He’s proven that he’s a man-child who can’t take responsibility and would’ve flunked out for goofing off and his own lack of intelligence.

    I forgot, the creators have a hate-on for anyone who’s struggling in this job market by making them look as bad as possible.

  205. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    February 22nd, 2013 at 1:37 pm [Reply]

    @Poteet (#190): *agrees*

    green snakes are lovely, even the little grass snakes that I would occasionally find when I was a lad. Emerald tree boas take it up to elebenty.

  206. Sequitur
    February 22nd, 2013 at 1:39 pm [Reply]

  207. ReFlex76
    February 22nd, 2013 at 1:40 pm [Reply]

    @TheDiva (#105): Actually, it was Tiffany who tried to slut-shame Luann, but then got called out on her own hypocrisy (see her reaction on the last panel).

  208. Nehemiah Scudder
    February 22nd, 2013 at 1:47 pm [Reply]

    @Uncle Lumpy (#193): I aimed for a 50% average raw score, and usually got close. It’s pointless to write questions that everybody’s going to get right, or wrong.

    I suppose it depends on the subject you’re teaching, and what you expect the students to be able to do with the knowledge. I taught Navy weapons systems for several years. I was delighted when my students did well on the tests; I was frightened and dismayed when they didn’t. (Was it me? Will anybody die because I didn’t get this stuff across well enough?)

  209. Nehemiah Scudder
    February 22nd, 2013 at 1:47 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#208): He sail boldly.

  210. bats :[
    February 22nd, 2013 at 1:48 pm [Reply]

    @Sequitur (#175): I just read a cautionary article about killing vermin without using poison…it showed an owl that had died (or was in the process of dying) from eating a mouse that had been poisoned rather than snap trap-killed. :(

  211. Nehemiah Scudder
    February 22nd, 2013 at 1:48 pm [Reply]

  212. Nehemiah Scudder
    February 22nd, 2013 at 1:49 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#211): Ok, Uncle Lumpy, it WASN’T me.

  213. Poteet
    February 22nd, 2013 at 1:50 pm [Reply]

    @queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#205): What a nice photo! That beautiful little arm snake looks kind of like a smooth green snake, and they are officially listed as “special concern” in Iowa. If I ever find them on my land, I’ll be happy-dancing for a week.

  214. Poteet
    February 22nd, 2013 at 1:51 pm [Reply]

    @Poteet (#213): Whoops! That bolding was an accident.

  215. Sequitur
    February 22nd, 2013 at 1:51 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#209): Ha! Navy. Sail. Got it.

  216. Nehemiah Scudder
    February 22nd, 2013 at 1:52 pm [Reply]

    @Sequitur (#206): Oh, Sequitur! How could you!

  217. Sequitur
    February 22nd, 2013 at 1:53 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#212): It’s those special powers you’re suppose to use for good.

  218. Poteet
    February 22nd, 2013 at 1:54 pm [Reply]

    @Sequitur (#175): Fond as I usually am of snakes, I really hope this project works.

  219. Poteet
    February 22nd, 2013 at 1:56 pm [Reply]

    @Poteet (#214): I see we’re all very bold now. What the heck. I’m betting $20 on two pairs.

  220. igeek
    February 22nd, 2013 at 1:58 pm [Reply]

    DT may have his perp headed to the ‘Interstate’, but that train and those engineers and their costumes go back 80 years. Livin’ in the thirties.

  221. hogenmogen
    February 22nd, 2013 at 1:59 pm [Reply]

    MW: Yes, Mary, great job on carrying a cake 10 feet. Such a heavy cake! You’re so awesome that awesomeness can not even begin to describe your awesimilitude. I’d go on to congratulate you more, but I see you need no help in that department.

  222. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    February 22nd, 2013 at 2:01 pm [Reply]

    @Poteet (#213): it’s reaching waaaaay back into the memory banks, but I believe we had both smooth and rough grass snakes in Northern Lower Michigan. Hognose, garter, and water snakes were much more common finds, but the grass snakes were sooooooo neat and tiny!

  223. Lumaca Morente
    February 22nd, 2013 at 2:01 pm [Reply]

    WHY ARE YOU ALL SHOUTING?

  224. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    February 22nd, 2013 at 2:02 pm [Reply]

    @Sequitur (#206): *points and laughs*

    HA-HA!

  225. gleeb
    February 22nd, 2013 at 2:03 pm [Reply]

  226. Nehemiah Scudder
    February 22nd, 2013 at 2:03 pm [Reply]

    DT: Time the call the Railroad Police!

  227. Nehemiah Scudder
    February 22nd, 2013 at 2:04 pm [Reply]

    @queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#224): (whispers) He’s going to be in big trouble when Uncle Lumpy finds out!

  228. Poteet
    February 22nd, 2013 at 2:06 pm [Reply]

    @queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#222): Thanks for the memory — years ago I was at a Michigan summer camp and saw the hognose, garter, and water trio.

  229. S. Stout
    February 22nd, 2013 at 2:06 pm [Reply]

    @ReFlex76 (#207): Tiffany was minding her own business when Luann came up to her bragging about her Quill necklace (which, by the way, is now missing). Luann is the “good guy” and instigated this whole thing knowing that Tiffany had a crush on Quill.

    It also doesn’t change the fact that Luann’s relationship with Quill has peaked, while her friends are out doing things with each other, Luann is the one having to stay in her bedroom to Skype. Also, if these are remotely believeable high school students, they are either having sex or very interested in it. Luann will be doing neither; the perfect Evans scenario.

  230. Artist formerly known as Ben
    February 22nd, 2013 at 2:06 pm [Reply]

    @Lumaca Morente (#223): WHO’S SCOUTING?

  231. hogenmogen
    February 22nd, 2013 at 2:07 pm [Reply]

    @Uncle Lumpy (#193): There can be good classes and poor ones. When I went to college, the state schools were attracting more and better recruits each year because of the skyrocketing price of education and the recent recession. So yeah, in a class of 1000 it really was possible to have a smarter class than 2 years before. Should anyone have been penalized?

  232. Lumaca Morente
    February 22nd, 2013 at 2:07 pm [Reply]

    This would be a good time to show Sequitor as Hester Prynn with a big “HTML” on his chest.

  233. Captain Ahab
    February 22nd, 2013 at 2:07 pm [Reply]

  234. hogenmogen
    February 22nd, 2013 at 2:08 pm [Reply]

    The all bold thing happened before. I think it is a bad close tag.

  235. Sheraton St. Louis
    February 22nd, 2013 at 2:08 pm [Reply]

    @Captain Ahab (#233): Who’s pouting?

  236. Orville Snorkel
    February 22nd, 2013 at 2:09 pm [Reply]

    @Sheraton St. Louis (#235): Who’s outing? Whom?

  237. Ratiocinator
    February 22nd, 2013 at 2:09 pm [Reply]

    9CL: If you want to save your money, lady, you should never consult another vet.

    The bill-padding actually bugs me more than anything else so far. It’s like, if things happened the way she says, then wouldn’t the right thing be to report what was going on? Or skip right to what she ended up doing, which was stealing the cow and I guess maybe the calf too? I’m sorry, “Rocky”, can’t call him “the calf” because that’s demeaning even though he is, in fact, a calf.

    But instead of doing that, she thinks “What can I do which is really petty and will accomplish nothing, except for making me even richer than I already am? Oh, I know! I’ll make them pay more than they owe me!”

    FW: You were banned for making horrible pun after horrible pun until the workers couldn’t take it anymore, I gather?

    JP: Here’s how it’s gonna go. Randy’s gonna tell April, who’s gonna lose her shit and tell him that his parents will not be going. Randy will cave and go back to Katherine, who will lose her shit and insist that yes, they are going. So Randy cave again and go back to April, who’s gonna lose her shit and tell him that his parents…(etc. and so on and so forth until the end of the Parkerverse which, at the rate the action moves in this strip, will end out outlasting the real one by a few hundred millennia)

    RMMD: “You’ve been busy ‘taking care of’ Delores, know what I mean, know what I mean, nudge nudge, nudge nudge, say no more, know what I mean, know what I mean?”

    Slylock: The little girl in Manjushree’s drawing is going to become the first victim of that hairy monster.

  238. Chyron HR
    February 22nd, 2013 at 2:09 pm [Reply]

    @ReFlex76 (#207): Also, Tiffany’s hair color is slutty bimbo blonde, whereas Luann has pure and noble flaxen hair. They’re like night and day, truly.

  239. Peanut Gallery
    February 22nd, 2013 at 2:10 pm [Reply]

  240. Ratiocinator
    February 22nd, 2013 at 2:11 pm [Reply]

    I really should preview before I post; way too many typos in that last one, even by my considerably lax standards.

  241. Rufus and Becky 4Evah
    February 22nd, 2013 at 2:12 pm [Reply]

  242. bats :[
    February 22nd, 2013 at 2:13 pm [Reply]

    Hey, Northerners! Do the Dairy Queen stores lock up for a couple of months in the winter? They used to in Tucson, before someone figured out that most of the Blizzards we see here are confined to the DQ shops. Just askin’…
    Yeah. A lame segue…but at least I didn’t break the site!

  243. Peanut Gallery
    February 22nd, 2013 at 2:14 pm [Reply]

    (Boldly) Did anyone remember to light the Lumpy Signal?

  244. Nehemiah Scudder
    February 22nd, 2013 at 2:15 pm [Reply]

    @Lumaca Morente (#232): This would be a good time to show Sequitor as Hester Prynn with a big “HTML” on his chest.

    You mean ‹⁄HTML›.

  245. Lumaca Morente
    February 22nd, 2013 at 2:15 pm [Reply]

    Gee I can read all your posts without my reading glasses!

  246. Lumaca Morente
    February 22nd, 2013 at 2:16 pm [Reply]

    @Peanut Gallery (#243): Is that the projection of a giant LUMP into the sky?

  247. Lumaca Morente
    February 22nd, 2013 at 2:17 pm [Reply]

    We’re using up all the ink on the internet!

  248. arabella
    February 22nd, 2013 at 2:19 pm [Reply]

    @Lumaca Morente (#245): Isn’t it great? I think I’ll change my screen settings so it looks like this all the time.

  249. Poteet
    February 22nd, 2013 at 2:19 pm [Reply]

    We’re even renumbered now. Wow.

  250. Nehemiah Scudder
    February 22nd, 2013 at 2:21 pm [Reply]

    Gee, I wonder if I can make it do a strike through too?

  251. Poteet
    February 22nd, 2013 at 2:22 pm [Reply]

    @Ratiocinator (#237): If she names a cow “Twinkly,” I don’t even wanna think about what she’d name a hamster.

  252. Poteet
    February 22nd, 2013 at 2:23 pm [Reply]

    @Poteet (#249): We’re renumbered on the margin but not when we reply to each other. It’s like Wonderland!

  253. Majicou
    February 22nd, 2013 at 2:24 pm [Reply]

    9CL: What vet doesn’t charge people for being jerks? Oh, those with a sense of professional ethics. But ethics are for beefwits, I suppose.

    Doones: Yeah, I’ve never before heard of a voice actress who also sings really well. That’s crazy.

  254. Huckleberry Fink
    February 22nd, 2013 at 2:25 pm [Reply]

    @Lumaca Morente (#232): This would be a good time to show Sequitor as Hester Prynn with a big “HTML” on his chest.

    The last time Sequitor suffered this much torture was during the “Spanish Sequisition.”

  255. Liam
    February 22nd, 2013 at 2:26 pm [Reply]

    JP-”And when you are in Mexico can you get me some weed? The guy I get my weed from says that the guy he gets the weed from has gotten out of the marijuana business and is going to start a solar farm instead.”

  256. Lumaca Morente
    February 22nd, 2013 at 2:27 pm [Reply]

    @Poteet (#252): If I have to be trapped in a bizarre Twolight-Zone type experience, I’d certainly want it to be here, with all you fine folks!

  257. Nehemiah Scudder
    February 22nd, 2013 at 2:27 pm [Reply]

    Just make sure Pastor Dan doesn’t hit CTRL-U and find out how to do this!

  258. Anonymous
    February 22nd, 2013 at 2:27 pm [Reply]

    @Poteet (#251): “Scudder”

  259. Peanut Gallery
    February 22nd, 2013 at 2:28 pm [Reply]

    @pugfuggly (#39):

    JP – I don’t follow Judge Parker that much, but is that ghostly figure behind Judge Randy a regular character?

    It’s a bust. So, yes, regular character.

  260. Poteet
    February 22nd, 2013 at 2:28 pm [Reply]

    FW — I quit reading FW many years ago because it was so bad-band-joke-intensive. I don’t know how much more of the current story I can take.

  261. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    February 22nd, 2013 at 2:30 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#208): The other wrinkle is that writing a good exam is hard—and almost no one is taught how to do it in what passes for teacher training at the college level. (I’m terrible at exam writing, but luckily, I’m pretty good at responding to and evaluating essays.)

  262. Poteet
    February 22nd, 2013 at 2:30 pm [Reply]

    @Lumaca Morente (#256): I quite agree. Now where’s that liquor cabinet?

  263. Poteet
    February 22nd, 2013 at 2:31 pm [Reply]

    @Anonymous (#258): Yup, sounds right.

  264. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    February 22nd, 2013 at 2:32 pm [Reply]

    @Rocky Stoneaxe (#200): Oh dear—or from all of us who have been converted to goat fandom by True Fable!

  265. Liam
    February 22nd, 2013 at 2:32 pm [Reply]

    Mother Goose and Grimm-In today’s comic the ‘C’ stands for hepatitis.

  266. Anonymous
    February 22nd, 2013 at 2:35 pm [Reply]

    Anyone else feeling a little… bolder?

  267. Lumaca Morente
    February 22nd, 2013 at 2:38 pm [Reply]

    Speak up! I can’t hear you!
    //all our great ‘bold’ jokes now make no sense. What will generations coming after us think we were talking about?

  268. Rocky Stoneaxe
    February 22nd, 2013 at 2:40 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#148): @Will (#137): Yep. I knew a guy had a few cattle, one named “Chuck”.

    Short names like “Chuck” are always best when you’re dealing with cattle. Longer names like “Sir Loin of Beef” and “Brooke McElcowney” — not so much.

    Do my cattle-based jokes make me a “beef wit”?

  269. Al of the Christian Singles Jungle Patrol
    February 22nd, 2013 at 2:42 pm [Reply]

    @Sequitur (#175): It could be worse. My buddy commands a bomb-disposal unit on Guam.

  270. Anonymous
    February 22nd, 2013 at 2:42 pm [Reply]

    Curses! Foiled!

    Kudos, to whoever managed to fix the issue ASAP. May I suggest you enter a bug report?

    //Software developer over here!

  271. Nehemiah Scudder
    February 22nd, 2013 at 2:43 pm [Reply]

    @bourbon babe, unbuckled (#261): The other wrinkle is that writing a good exam is hard…

    Very true.

    Possibly the most useful part of the Navy’s “How to be an Instructor” course was the section on how to write exams. It’s not just guesswork. There are things that work, and things that don’t, and the military has lots of experience with it. (That section was also extremely useful to me in learning how to pass exams. You know the system, you can game the system.)

  272. Uncle Lumpy
    February 22nd, 2013 at 2:44 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#208):

    I taught Navy weapons systems for several years. I was delighted when my students did well on the tests …

    Well, sure – you were determining whether your students have mastered the material. In an undergraduate class, that can’t be the criterion, or nobody would pass.

    @hogenmogen (#231):

    … in a class of 1000 it really was possible to have a smarter class than 2 years before. Should anyone have been penalized?

    Penalized how? A “C” is now an average grade from a better school.

  273. Ratiocinator
    February 22nd, 2013 at 2:45 pm [Reply]

    @Peanut Gallery (#239): At first I thought you were going to link to this other Calvin & Hobbes strip.

  274. TheDiva
    February 22nd, 2013 at 2:46 pm [Reply]

    @ReFlex76 (#207): There’s a difference between making a mistake, learning from it, and sharing that knowledge with others and hypocrisy. Hypocrisy is, say, writing a heroine who is at least as shallow, self-centered, and mean-spirited as your villain without ever calling her out on it.

  275. Nehemiah Scudder
    February 22nd, 2013 at 2:47 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#257): Too late! Heh. Heh.

  276. Nehemiah Scudder
    February 22nd, 2013 at 2:49 pm [Reply]

    @Uncle Lumpy (#272): In an undergraduate class, that can’t be the criterion, or nobody would pass.

    Hah!

  277. Ratiocinator
    February 22nd, 2013 at 2:49 pm [Reply]

    @Liam (#255): Just out of curiosity, what eventually happened to that old couple who was growing weed and accidentally gave Abbey some pot brownies? I remember Abbey visiting the woman in prison, who told her something about how they didn’t have enough money to pay their bills without growing weed IIRC. Did that just get dropped, or resolved, or what? Anybody know?

  278. Ratiocinator
    February 22nd, 2013 at 2:51 pm [Reply]

    @Peanut Gallery (#259):

    It’s a bust. So, yes, regular character.

    Well done. :D

  279. Rocky Stoneaxe
    February 22nd, 2013 at 2:55 pm [Reply]

    Herb & Jamaal — Feeding Uhuru a slab of chocolate cake the size of her head? Not my idea of good parenting.

  280. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    February 22nd, 2013 at 2:57 pm [Reply]

    @Uncle Lumpy (#272): That’s exactly the point I make to colleagues around the university when I try to encourage them to “teach writing” in their classes: College freshmen do not master academic writing after two semesters of work; their other professors need to keep reinforcing and teaching the techniques. (In other words, we can’t fix ‘em in two semesters.)

  281. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    February 22nd, 2013 at 3:01 pm [Reply]

    @bourbon babe, unbuckled (#280): *imagines fratbois in Cones of Shame after having been fixed.*

  282. Huckleberry Fink
    February 22nd, 2013 at 3:01 pm [Reply]

    @Rocky Stoneaxe (#279): That piece of cake is the approximate size and shape of Uhuru’s head. So I think Herb’s family practices cannibalism.

  283. Calvin's Cardboard Box
    February 22nd, 2013 at 3:02 pm [Reply]

    @Anonymous (#270): May I suggest you enter a bug report?

    With no bug report or preapproved Change Control, I’m afraid we are going to have to back out the fix and re-implement it after we have the proper documentation and approvals in place!

    //Software QA over here

  284. Alison
    February 22nd, 2013 at 3:04 pm [Reply]

    “Mary Worth”: What I choose to believe is that there’s a missing panel showing that John Dill got nervous about moving to New York and working under a famous pastry chef, so he changed his mind about leaving as he was getting on the plane, but it was too late and the airport officials wouldn’t let him off, so he started yelling at Mary that he’s going to be miserable and humiliated in New York and to [beep beep beep] her. So now, a horribly shaken Mary has forced a smile on her face and is desperately telling herself, “You did good, Mary. No, seriously, you did good. Yes you did. It doesn’t matter what John Dill thinks.”

    “Baby Blues”: Hardy har look at that stupid woman who doesn’t have kids and doesn’t realize what massive brats Wanda’s children are.

    “Hi and Lois”: This strip reeks of people who get incredibly offended when someone younger then they are doesn’t like what was popular thirty or forty years ago. (How dare they!) The type who would insult a ten-year-old for not worshipping the Beetles, and then fly into a twenty-minute rant about how nobody likes anything good anymore. Chip MUST like older music, because anyone who doesn’t has no taste, period, the end.

    Either that, or this strip is simply recycled from the 1970s.

  285. LP2004
    February 22nd, 2013 at 3:06 pm [Reply]

    @Calvin’s Cardboard Box (#283): With no bug report or preapproved Change Control, I’m afraid we are going to have to back out the fix and re-implement it after we have the proper documentation and approvals in place!

    AAUGH! I come here to get away from Configuration Management minutae!

  286. Al of the Christian Singles Jungle Patrol
    February 22nd, 2013 at 3:11 pm [Reply]

    @Calvin’s Cardboard Box (#283): rm -rf /*

    //tired and angry systems admin, here.

  287. AhClem
    February 22nd, 2013 at 3:11 pm [Reply]

    DT – Having been a railroad aficionado for more years than I care to think about, I can safely say that the locomotive resembles nothing remotely like anything in real life — steam or diesel, American or European, etc. I think it is running on the AL&W RR (Artistic License & Western Railroad).

  288. Peanut Gallery
    February 22nd, 2013 at 3:13 pm [Reply]

    @Ratiocinator (#273): Heh! Yes, that one too.

  289. Liam
    February 22nd, 2013 at 3:20 pm [Reply]

    DT-”Pick up speed there is an escaping criminal that we need to run into.”

  290. Rocky Stoneaxe
    February 22nd, 2013 at 3:20 pm [Reply]

    Marvin — Oops, did the horny widdle clown make Marvin crap himself? Sure hope Baka Gaijin doesn’t see today’s Marvin. Or he might crap HIMSELF.

  291. Uncle Lumpy
    February 22nd, 2013 at 3:26 pm [Reply]

    @Al of the Christian Singles Jungle Patrol (#286):

    rm -rf /*

    <geek> Hahaha! </geek>

  292. Not-Pope Dan
    February 22nd, 2013 at 3:27 pm [Reply]

  293. Rocky Stoneaxe
    February 22nd, 2013 at 3:35 pm [Reply]

    Monty — Fred and Barney always used “sabertooth chihuahuas” to open their cans of beer. This, of course, was before the invention of pop top cans.

  294. Rana the Pedantic Wet Blanket
    February 22nd, 2013 at 3:36 pm [Reply]

    Regarding the naming of animals to be slaughtered… no, I don’t know anyone who does that, beyond calling them things like “the pig” or “runty” or some other descriptive appellation. In this case, the vet ought to know that there’s no point in naming a male calf of a dairy cow; it’s going to be taken from her so that her milk doesn’t dry up, and since a male calf is pretty much useless for a dairy farm its fate is to become food.

    How this woman managed to graduate vet school, I have no idea.

    I know at least two people who do treat their livestock as pets, but they have a healthy respect for the size and basic animal nature of their creatures, unlike this idiot character.

    //Obviously, McE’s experience with livestock and large-animal veterinarians is based on whatever he’s read in PETA pamphlets and his interactions with whoever takes care of his cat(s). (I assume he has a cat; Solange is too realistic for him to have not lived with several.)

    //Also, this obvious “city-slicker-ness” on the part of McE makes that strip he ran last year about country folk being annoyed by city visitors all the more ironic. It occurs to me that whenever he ends up having an author-avatar berate an audience-avatar in his strip, it all too often comes across as him caricaturing himself inadvertently. Hmm.

  295. Sequitur
    February 22nd, 2013 at 3:36 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#244): To quote Bullwinkle, “Don’t know my own strength!”

  296. Rana the Pedantic Wet Blanket
    February 22nd, 2013 at 3:38 pm [Reply]

    @TheDiva (#105): The above was meant to be a reply to your comment.

  297. Artist formerly known as Ben
    February 22nd, 2013 at 3:38 pm [Reply]

    @queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#281):

    *imagines fratbois in Cones of Shame after having been fixed.*

    And so the Phi Kappa Gamma Falsetto Chorus was born.

  298. Al of the Christian Singles Jungle Patrol
    February 22nd, 2013 at 3:48 pm [Reply]

    @Uncle Lumpy (#291): The reason I’m tired and angry is because today I managed to to this to a server that hadn’t been backed up yet. :( Good thing it was the dev server I was on and not production.

  299. Rana the Pedantic Wet Blanket
    February 22nd, 2013 at 3:51 pm [Reply]

    @Uncle Lumpy (#193): I think this is a good example of how the sciences and the humanities differ!

    I never had need to curve my scores (in the sense of predetermining that x% were to be As, y% were to be Bs, Z% were to be Cs, etc.) simply because students tended to fall nicely along a bell-shaped distribution curve all on their own, usually centered around a B- or a C+. And I tended to have a fixed personal metric as to what a “B” assignment looked like relative to an “A” or a “C” level one.

    Now, where this got complicated was if I ended up teaching a class of students who were above or below the generic average; you could very well have the bell centering at something well above or below the C+/B- sweet spot. Some instructors adapted to this by changing their standards, being more lenient towards the slower classes and more stringent for the more skilled ones; my own preference was to change the assignments, so that the centering was maintained. (This meant that students in rigorous classes ended up doing complex, full-term research projects, while students in beginner newbie classes would be assigned work that was much more basic and smaller in scope.)

    But, then, humanities (in this case) work isn’t only about getting the facts correct, important though that is; it’s also about interpreting them and defending that interpretation, so there’s a bit more “fuzz” on both sides of the equation, and, hence, my own unwillingness to curve in the strictest sense.

  300. Rana the Pedantic Wet Blanket
    February 22nd, 2013 at 3:52 pm [Reply]

    I think the main thing, though, is to let the students know ahead of time how grading works for you, rather than having them be unpleasantly surprised.

  301. Ratiocinator
    February 22nd, 2013 at 3:56 pm [Reply]

    @The Right Venerable Pasdordan (#110):

    It’s a pleasing, well-executed winter scene.

    The first time I ever heard of this strip was via this blog, and when I saw it I thought “Hey, that’s pretty good artwork!” I wondered if it were a strip I could enjoy unironically based on that.

    This was before I read this strip. (“Since you totally got your ass kicked without being able to fight back, and since the guy who beat you up is an American like me who is over here saving your Limey ass from the Nazis, you are a wimp and a coward and the guy who attacked you is awesome and we don’t want to court-martial him for it.”) And before I read McEldowney’s rants about his critics. And before I saw a number of other strips that reinforced the impression I got from the WWII flashback strip, namely that he’s a dick.

    Since his unusual first name has been brought up recently: I wonder if he’d have turned out any differently if he’d been named something different? I mean, you know that on his first day of school all of the kids must’ve been like “Haha, you’ve got a girl’s name, you’re a girl!” and never let up.

  302. Buck Ripsnort
    February 22nd, 2013 at 4:18 pm [Reply]

    NUTHIN’ BUTT COMICS

    DtM: Dennis is an ass-man.

    Zits: Teenagers often smell like ass.

    FC: Even though Dolly may not be 100 yet, she IS old as ass.

  303. Lumaca Morente
    February 22nd, 2013 at 4:21 pm [Reply]

    @Rana the Pedantic Wet Blanket (#300): Your students listen when you explain? Mine don’t.
    //I put the section’s mean, median and mode on the board when I hand back tests; if I don’t see a nice bell-shaped distribution, I assume there’s something wrong with my test, usually that it’s too easy. If most students get a particular question wrong, I assume that the question is poorly written or I taught the concept poorly; I review and in two instances, I gave credit back for the missed question.

  304. Rocky Stoneaxe
    February 22nd, 2013 at 4:30 pm [Reply]

    Short ribs:

    Pluggers… wear their scarlet letters (and sweaters) with pride.

    Curtis — Isn’t “Popcorn Wars” a reality series on the Food Network?

    Spider-Man — That FWIPP means Peter has split his tights (again!).

  305. commodorejohn
    February 22nd, 2013 at 4:31 pm [Reply]

    @Sequitur (#149): Well, I’m also the music commodorejohn, honestly. My folks started me on classical and then got me hooked on oldies/classic-rock stations, and that set me venturing out into the weird and wild world of progressive rock. Nowadays I know many orders of magnitude more about music of the ’60s and ’70s than I ever did about anything my peers were listening to…

  306. Al of the Christian Singles Jungle Patrol
    February 22nd, 2013 at 4:41 pm [Reply]

    @commodorejohn (#305): Does it make you a Plugger if the “hard stuff” you listened to in high school is now being played on the oldies/soft-rock station?

  307. crazy fungus
    February 22nd, 2013 at 4:42 pm [Reply]

    (M)barely worth (it)- soon Mary gets a souvenir from John Dill; it’s an airline barf bag with a note “thinking of you”

  308. Rocky Stoneaxe
    February 22nd, 2013 at 4:50 pm [Reply]

    @Ratiocinator (#301): Ironically, the female equivalent of “Brooke” seems to be “Brooklyn.” Too bad Brooke’s parents didn’t just call him BRONX McEldowney — because it’s a strong masculine name.

  309. commodorejohn
    February 22nd, 2013 at 4:51 pm [Reply]

    @Al of the Christian Singles Jungle Patrol (#306): I think that’s just kind of an inevitability, really.

  310. Sequitur
    February 22nd, 2013 at 4:55 pm [Reply]

    @commodorejohn (#305): Groovy, man.

  311. Uncle Lumpy
    February 22nd, 2013 at 4:55 pm [Reply]

    @Rana the Pedantic Wet Blanket (#299):

    Not sure I see the difference: once you’ve got more than 30 or so students, your distribution will always approximate normal, unless your questions are so easy/hard that you get ceiling/floor effects, or so opaque/idiosyncratic that answers don’t reflect students’ underlying capabilities. Unless you repeat questions, there’s no way for you to distinguish “the class performed better” from “I wrote an easier test”, but absent a long-term trend in admissions criteria, my money’s on the latter.

    @Lumaca Morente (#303):

    Yup. Ceiling effects are the usual problem, although I have had one or two students score consistently below chance by a) not studying, and b) assuming every question was a trick and so never giving an answer they knew was correct.

  312. Liam
    February 22nd, 2013 at 4:56 pm [Reply]

    FC-The answer is simple: Whatever age you are now. This strip has been around for about sixty years and none of you have aged a day in that time.

  313. Lumaca Morente
    February 22nd, 2013 at 4:56 pm [Reply]

    @commodorejohn (#309): Therefore, send not to know/for whom the bell tolls…

  314. Ratiocinator
    February 22nd, 2013 at 4:57 pm [Reply]

    @Rocky Stoneaxe (#308): It’s also the name of the dog…person…thing…whatever in Gargoyles!

    (I believe that’s the first time I ever used “dog…person…thing…whatever” while not talking about Pluggers.)

  315. Sequitur
    February 22nd, 2013 at 4:57 pm [Reply]

    @Rocky Stoneaxe (#308): BRONX sounds like someone clearing out their sinuses.

    You’re right. That does fit him.

  316. Lumaca Morente
    February 22nd, 2013 at 4:57 pm [Reply]

    @Uncle Lumpy (#311): Oh, outliers. You can’t count outliers.

  317. Uncle Lumpy
    February 22nd, 2013 at 5:00 pm [Reply]

    @Lumaca Morente (#316):

    They don’t last long.

  318. JudoThrowToy
    February 22nd, 2013 at 5:41 pm [Reply]

    MT: I have to admit I’m intrigued by where today’s episode of Mark Trail is taking us. Normally you would expect it to be the creepy adult who tries to lure the child into a van to take pictures with a camera.

  319. AhClem
    February 22nd, 2013 at 5:50 pm [Reply]

    @Al of the Christian Singles Jungle Patrol (#306): It gets worse. Not too long ago I heard a Muzak version of Led Zeppelin’s “Kashmir” in a grocery store. Part of me died that day.

  320. Zerowolf
    February 22nd, 2013 at 5:51 pm [Reply]

    @Majicou (#2): Passover already?

  321. Poteet
    February 22nd, 2013 at 6:07 pm [Reply]

    @AhClem (#319): Part of me died just now.

  322. Yahtzee
    February 22nd, 2013 at 6:13 pm [Reply]

    No joke, just commenting to say the coloring on “Dick Tracy” is beautiful.

  323. The Ridger
    February 22nd, 2013 at 6:55 pm [Reply]

    @Cloudbuster (#106): which, as it is a male Holstein, is the calf’s fate.

  324. The Ridger
    February 22nd, 2013 at 6:57 pm [Reply]

    JP: I would give almost anything for April’s father to be a retired KGB agent.

  325. The Ridger
    February 22nd, 2013 at 7:08 pm [Reply]

    @bourbon babe, unbuckled (#143): To me, grading on a curve was always the worst – work that would get one student an A would get another a C because there were better students in the second class. I guess it depend on the subject, but mastery should be the same, not competition between students. It IS possible for everyone in a class to get all the answers right, and it’s possible for all the students to be crap.

  326. The Ridger
    February 22nd, 2013 at 7:27 pm [Reply]

    @The Ridger (#325): I should probably note that I don’t teach liberal arts – I teach a language. If all the students master the genitive plural, they all pass.

  327. Calico
    February 22nd, 2013 at 7:45 pm [Reply]

    @hogenmogen (#221):
    Oh Jeez dammit thanks, now I can’t stop giggling!

  328. Calico
    February 22nd, 2013 at 7:55 pm [Reply]

    Flour on the ceiling
    Pink frosting for mice
    We are all of Charterstone here
    As part of Mary’s device
    And in the Biddy’s condo
    They gather for their green glop feast
    They try to avoid food poisoning
    But they just can’t kill the yeast

  329. Rocky Stoneaxe
    February 22nd, 2013 at 8:15 pm [Reply]

  330. The Right Venerable Pasdordan
    February 22nd, 2013 at 8:15 pm [Reply]

    @Ratiocinator (#301): I think Brooke comes from enough money that people tend not to care that he’s named Brooke.

  331. Poteet
    February 22nd, 2013 at 8:15 pm [Reply]

    @Calico (#328): Bwahaha!

  332. Poteet
    February 22nd, 2013 at 8:17 pm [Reply]

    DT — I know very little about railroad rules, but the impression I have is that speeds are more regulated than this, and liability concerns are greater.

  333. Zerowolf
    February 22nd, 2013 at 8:38 pm [Reply]

    @Calico (#328): :::clap::: :::clap::: :::clap:::

  334. Nehemiah Scudder
    February 22nd, 2013 at 8:42 pm [Reply]

    @The Ridger (#326): I should probably note that I don’t teach liberal arts – I teach a language. If all the students master the genitive plural, they all pass.

    Well, that explains that! (Minced oath). Nominative, ablative, accusative, vocative, I’m fine with. Genitive singular, mostly. But, genitive plural, pfui!

    // No wonder I didn’t become president!

  335. Majicou
    February 22nd, 2013 at 8:44 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#334): Having never studied Latin, or any other language with more than four cases, I’m always puzzled by the “ablative case.” Do the words have letters fall off gradually with use?

  336. Zerowolf
    February 22nd, 2013 at 8:45 pm [Reply]

    MW: And this plot ends with a pool party where Dawn tearfully announces that John Dill’s plane went down and there were no survivors. Silence is broken by Wilbur dropping his fork.

  337. Der Kömmëntätör, Herr Schnärkïnätör
    February 22nd, 2013 at 8:52 pm [Reply]

    @Al of the Christian Singles Jungle Patrol (#286):

    Oh no! OOONNNNOOOO

    NNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!

    Not that! NNNNNOOOOTTTTTTTHHHHHHAAATTTTTTT!!!!

  338. Nehemiah Scudder
    February 22nd, 2013 at 8:54 pm [Reply]

    @Ratiocinator (#301): @The Right Venerable Pasdordan (#330): I don’t think “Brooke” was a common girls name until very recently. It was, of course, originally a surname. The most famous Brookes were James Brooke, British Empire builder, the White Rajah of Sarawak, and Rupert Brooke, WWI poet.

    Remember that Brooke McE. is 60 something. It was common, way back when, to give boys names of military or literary heros. There were a lot of “Deweys” after the Spanish American War, and a few Miltons and Homers even now.

  339. Der Kömmëntätör, Herr Schnärkïnätör
    February 22nd, 2013 at 8:55 pm [Reply]

    @Der Kömmëntätör, Herr Schnärkïnätör (#337):

    I always get a queasy feeling when I type in a bad Unix command and it goes off for a while before it comes back!

    // FUCK! What the hell did I do now?

  340. Nehemiah Scudder
    February 22nd, 2013 at 8:58 pm [Reply]

    @Majicou (#335): Do the words have letters fall off gradually with use?

    Precisely! How many letters, and how quickly they fall off, is a function of the word’s particular position in the sentence. You clearly have a talent for languages. I recommend that you immediately sign up for some courses with Professor The Ridger. You will do well!

    // I hear she grades on a curve!

  341. Rana the Pedantic Wet Blanket
    February 22nd, 2013 at 9:03 pm [Reply]

    @Lumaca Morente (#303): Alas, no, they generally didn’t listen. But I had a pocket lecture for when the question came up.

    Yeah, I generally used the bell curve as a way of checking my own work – either the assignment was not suited to the students (if all of them fail in similar ways, that’s my fault, not theirs) or something strange was going on, and it was a sign that I needed to see if it was attributable to the students and class,* or an indication that I’d been grading while tired one day and alert another or something.

    *I had one set of students who regularly had this strange gap between B+ and A+, with no work of A- or A quality showing up. It turned out that there were a bunch of students who’d been holding themselves back out of some mistaken respect for my authority (their work was technically perfect, but showed no original insight); when I gave them “permission” to think for themselves, instead of dutifully parroting the lectures and texts, the gap filled right in, and the distribution looked normal again. It was the strangest damn thing.

  342. Cloudbuster
    February 22nd, 2013 at 9:16 pm [Reply]

    @jim, some guy in iowa (#131), @The Right Venerable Pasdordan (#116), @Poteet (#192): My goats are required to have scrapies id tags if they’re ever sold, and they’re provided free by the state. My cattle are all beef cattle, various out-crosses of Texas Longhorns, and none of them are tagged, branded or tattooed. When I used to have a herd of registered Toggenburg goats, they were all tattooed, and that was before the scrapies tag requirements, but my current herd of boer-crosses is not a particularly distinguished bunch, so I don’t tattoo or keep extensive breeding records.

    Once your herd of any livestock gets big, numbering is essential if you’re trying to manage a breeding program. Even if you’re not the sort that gets attached, after a few dozen, it gets hard coming up with names, “Um, Betsy Jr.? No, done that. Betsy Mark IV?” I have a bull and a few breeding cows that are named, because they’re expected to be around for a while. It’s mostly my daughters who insist on naming them, though. I wouldn’t bother myself. My herd is small and diverse enough that I can still recognize them all individually.

    Only one steer, Abner, comes when he’s called, and he’s the poor guy who’s soonest destined for the freezer. I’ve been extending his life a bit because he’s the only halter-trained bovine I have and if I throw a rope around him and lead him, the others generally tag along behind, which is convenient. I blame it on the woman I bought him from for bottle-raising, halter-training and naming him! He probably should have been someone’s 4-H project. He’s still got enough growing room left, and I’ve got enough pasture, that I’m not feeling guilty that I’m just wasting him, but sooner or later, though, his time will come.

    I have one goat wether (castrated male) with the ironic name of Kabob (thank the oldest daughter), but he, likewise, is getting a reprieve because the buck needs a buddy when he’s not being kept in with the does.

    FWIW, I have never used a suppository on any cow, horse or goat I’ve ever owned. I looked in the Merck Manual online and I couldn’t identify any condition in cattle that’s treated with a suppository. If anyone more knowledgeable knows something, let me know! Seems like they’d just squirt the thing out of whatever hole you stuck it in at the least opportune moment (like, 30 seconds after you stuck it in!)

    I’ve had vets give me a discount as a courtesy, but if I found out one was jacking up my bill out of spite, we’d have words. Word gets around in in the farm/ranch community and virtually 100% of their business is repeat business. I can’t imagine a large-animal vet doing that. So, no, McE, not everyone does!

  343. Rana the Pedantic Wet Blanket
    February 22nd, 2013 at 9:19 pm [Reply]

    @Uncle Lumpy (#311): Actually, it’s pretty clear when you have a stronger class versus a weaker one. The specific questions may change, but the nature of the assignments generally didn’t (e.g. read three primary sources and explain what they have to say about topic x). The stronger classes will present arguments that are well-written technically, are organized, and show at least a basic understanding of the material and how it fits into its larger context, and explain their reasoning. The weaker classes will have a lot of mistakes, will generally turn in papers that are disorganized or unfocused, and will in all likelihood have failed to understand a good deal of what they read, let alone being able to analyze it effectively.

    So there are three ways to deal with this:

    Apply the same standards and assignments to everyone (in which case the first class is going to skew towards Bs and As, while the second will skew towards Cs and Ds).

    Apply different standards to the two, but give them the same assignments (in which case both will trend towards the “ideal” distribution).

    Apply the same standards, but tailor the difficulty of the assignments to the students’ skills and experience levels (with the idea that the average student in a 300-level course should be able to get all As if they went back and did 101-level assignments).

    The first two options seem demoralizing to me, as they suggest that grades only correlate weakly with the amount of student effort involved; in the first, the less-experienced students are set up to fail while the more skilled aren’t challenged; in the second, the grading gets harder but not the work, which I find most students are confused by.

    In the third, though, there’s a clearer message that you have to work hard and well regardless of your skill level, and that as you get better at the work, you’ll be able to move on to more challenging projects.

    (I’m mostly speaking out of an experience in which I taught both at a variety of levels, from freshman intro courses to senior major research seminars, and a range of institutions, from highly selective small colleges to local, let ‘em all in, community colleges. I found that adjusting assignments was much more effective than constantly trying to readjust my sense (both trained and gut) of what “good” work looked like relative to “poor” work.)

  344. Rana the Pedantic Wet Blanket
    February 22nd, 2013 at 9:20 pm [Reply]

    @Uncle Lumpy (#317): No. They either drop, fail, or soar so far above the rest that they might as well be taking an independent study course.

  345. Rana the Pedantic Wet Blanket
    February 22nd, 2013 at 9:22 pm [Reply]

    @The Ridger (#325): Yep. Even though the odds predicted the bell curve distribution, there was always the possibility of an exceptionally talented (or shitty) class. I actually had one of those once: it was tiny, with 5 students, and they all got some flavor of A by the end.

  346. Der Kömmëntätör, Herr Schnärkïnätör
    February 22nd, 2013 at 9:24 pm [Reply]

    @bats :[ (#242):

    Up here in Many Happiness, as my wife calls it, the DQs stay open all year long, but then again all of the ones that I’m aware of in the MSP area are DQ Brasiers. I grew up near St. Cloud, MN and the store there shut down in the winter. I don’t know if they still do.

    My wife grew up in Tucson, and her mom and some of her sisters still live there!

    // Maybe you know them…

  347. Poteet
    February 22nd, 2013 at 9:25 pm [Reply]

    @Rana the Pedantic Wet Blanket (#294): I knew a (non-farmer) rural resident who decided to buy local lamb meat years ago. But due to a strange rule that has since been changed, he had to pick up and transport the live lambs to the processing plant himself, and bury the non-edible remains on his own land after he picked up the meat. Plus he was told when he picked up the lambs that their names were “Salt” and “Pepper.” He said it was a very interesting experience which he never wanted to repeat.

  348. Zla'od
    February 22nd, 2013 at 9:37 pm [Reply]

    My favorite grading conundrum is whether grades ought to reflect (a) how much you know, (b) how much you learned, (c) how hard you worked, or (d) some arbitrary formula. I hope my doctor was graded according to (a), but it seems unfair to allow (for example) native Spanish speakers to get easy A’s in Spanish.

    As for grading on a curve, the only reason I made it through finance and accounting was that the professors had assigned “C-minus” to the bottom end of the bell curve, without considering whether there might be anybody on the graph that deserved worse than that.

    But Mother Goose’s joke could have been improved with a little more ribaldry. An “A+” and a smiling Hester, in honor of Valentines Day? Some quip about what the letter stands for? (I guess this means she went a little bit further than cunnilingus.) BTW the sin of fornication is distinct from that of adultery, although as an old blonde joke goes, they feel about the same.

  349. seismic-2
    February 22nd, 2013 at 9:38 pm [Reply]

    @Majicou (#335): The common words in the English language having undergone ablation due to overuse, Brooke swore absolutely to find the most obscure ones in the thesaurus and use them instead.

  350. Liam
    February 22nd, 2013 at 9:57 pm [Reply]

    MW-Is it time for Dawn to another crisis that only Mary can solve?

    MW 2-”Soon word of me shall spread throughout New York and I will have thousands of followers waiting for me when I arrive there.”

    MT-”Now first I need you to take your shirt off. Don’t worry these will be tasteful pictures nothing kinky.”

    Pluggers-For shame. Those kids in China get A’s right from the start.

    RMMD-”There are plenty of fish in the sea.” “Don’t take wooden nickles.”

    RMMD 2-Cancer also happens when you least expect it too.

  351. Liam
    February 22nd, 2013 at 10:02 pm [Reply]

    RMMD-”Hello, June Morgan. I’m a lawyer representing Mary Worth with a writ ordering you to stop speaking in platitudes.”

  352. ralph
    February 22nd, 2013 at 10:04 pm [Reply]

    9CL: I wrote on my FB page a couple days ago that I had defended stockraising on a blog, and I expected to get trashed for it since the regulars seemed to be a liberal urban crowd. It turns out that grumbling at this storyline is the norm, and grumbling at the strip in general seems nearly unanimous. All of us who have some experience of vets seem to agree the behavior of the vet is ridiculous. Yet I’m sure we would all agree that actual cruelty towards animals is a worthy subject. The problem with being a moderate is that one wants to address issues seriously while wingers want to vent bile toward anyone not like them.
    DtM: When I saw this, I thought what everyone else thought. However, Dennis has gone his entire run without the slightest apparent interest in female anatomy, or awareness that it’s different from his. Even the very few “doctor” panels have Margaret as the protagonist. So the cartoonist has done a nice job of creating a double meaning panel.

  353. Rana the Pedantic Wet Blanket
    February 22nd, 2013 at 10:14 pm [Reply]

    @Zla’od (#348): Yeah, it’s tricky balancing those factors. It’s why I tried to have a mix of assignments: some rewarded diligence (like weekly comments), others mastery of specific knowledge (exams), and others the ability to synthesize and analyze material (papers and projects). And I did track how students did over the course of a semester; someone who put in a lot of effort and showed steady improvement usually got the benefit of the doubt when the numbers had them at or near a boundary between two grades (e.g. C+ versus B-). Students who’d been pains in the ass or slackers generally just got what the numbers worked out to be.

    I was very careful to be consistent in how I applied my grading rules, largely because I consider myself an ethical person with standards, but also because cover-your-butt is important when you might have a student (or worse, their parent) questioning your decision. If you can’t explain why they got the grade they did, you have no business grading.

  354. ralph
    February 22nd, 2013 at 10:22 pm [Reply]

    Okay, the comment on wingers was too broad. On both wings there are two types: Those with coherent, thought out, political and economic programs, and those who just like to trash “people who aren’t like them”. Belonging to the second type is more entertaining and more likely to get media attention. Comic strips are usually too brief to treat a subject seriously, but this one has done a particularly bad job. It disappoints me that RMMD is treated so harshly by Josh and posters since it often does treat issues as seriously as is feasible in a strip.

  355. Sgt. Stoned
    February 22nd, 2013 at 10:25 pm [Reply]

    BB: Are you sure the frozen guy is Sarge? The Sarge I know has but one tooth in his mouth. This guy has a full set.

    DTM: Dennis is an ass man.

  356. Sgt. Stoned
    February 22nd, 2013 at 10:26 pm [Reply]

    MW: John Dill’s dream was to dip is pickle in your brine, ya clueless old twit.

  357. Cloudbuster
    February 22nd, 2013 at 10:27 pm [Reply]

    @Poteet (#347): There are a lot of tricky things involved if you offer anything but live animals for sale. If I kill an animal offered for sale for food, then I’m a slaughter house, and no way I can afford to meet those standards. So, I sell only live critters.

    FDA regulations are intended to keep us safe, but nothing has done more to kill small farms than the high cost of compliance with mandatory measures that provide only marginal safety benefits. The agribusinesses often support such measures, because they make it tremendously expensive for competitors to enter the market and snuff out existing small operations. My area used to be dotted with small dairies up til the 60s. It wasn’t the big dairies that drove them out of business, it was the costs of complying with increasingly stringent regulations for dairy facilities.

    Now farmers are prosecuted for selling raw milk even to people who are knowingly and willingly seeking out raw milk.

    The laws for any animal-based food production are a dangerous maze that can easily get you bankrupt and legally crucified. It’s much safer to stick to live animal or wool production unless you have deep agri-business pockets. Sadly.

  358. jim, some guy in iowa
    February 22nd, 2013 at 10:29 pm [Reply]

    @Cloudbuster (#342):

    @ralph (#352):

    i usually just read here but mceldowney in general – this arc especially – just gets on my nerves. he’s worse than bad, he’s half good (and if i could remember where i first heard that, i’d give credit). a veterinarian who talks and acts the way his does wouldn’t have enough repeat business to give nicknames to the people, let alone the livestock, she deals with

    (and no, in my experience a vet has never given anything – dog, cat, cow or pig – a suppository. i think ol’ brooke pulled *that* idea out of his – ah, you know)

  359. Cloudbuster
    February 22nd, 2013 at 10:36 pm [Reply]

    @ralph (#354): Re RMMD, we only criticize it because we love it. ;) Seriously, I think most of us are rather fond of all the classic old serial strips like Judge Parker, Rex Morgan, Mary Worth and Apartment 3-G. I think we’d all go into mourning if any of them were canceled. There’s a real difference between how we treat them and how we treat strips that really tick us off, like those by Evans (Luann), Batiuk (Crankshaft, Funky) and McEldowney (9CL, Pibgorn). Heck, even then they’re like the villain in a popular TV show — you love to hate them.

  360. Peanut Gallery
    February 22nd, 2013 at 10:42 pm [Reply]

    @jim, some guy in iowa (#358):

    he’s worse than bad, he’s half good

    Dashiell Hammett said of something Lillian Hellman had written, “It’s worse than bad–it’s half good.”

  361. Rocky Stoneaxe
    February 22nd, 2013 at 10:50 pm [Reply]

    @Buck Ripsnort (#302): DtM: Dennis is an ass-man.

    @Sgt. Stoned (#355): DTM: Dennis is an ass man.

    Well, that’s two votes for changing the name of the strip from “Dennis the Menace” to “Dennis the Proctologist.”

  362. Poteet
    February 22nd, 2013 at 10:50 pm [Reply]

    @Cloudbuster (#357): Thank you — that was very interesting. I was probably wrong about the rules, and I think what has really changed in the years since the Salt-and-Pepper episode is that there are now more options here (food co-ops, farmers’ markets, group buying, etc.) for people who want to buy local meat without transporting live animals themselves. But I’m sure the cost and trouble of following the regulations has added to the cost.

  363. Poteet
    February 22nd, 2013 at 10:52 pm [Reply]

    @jim, some guy in iowa (#358): I suspect this story is going to get worse, maybe with more ideas pulled out of the same *cough* source.

  364. Poteet
    February 22nd, 2013 at 10:57 pm [Reply]

    @Rocky Stoneaxe (#361): Comics Kingdom says this: “Dennis’ adventures have been updated to reflect the interests of modern children.” Oh dear.

  365. Poteet
    February 22nd, 2013 at 10:58 pm [Reply]

    @Poteet (#362): I meant to say “cost of the meat” at the end. Dang.

  366. jim, some guy in iowa
    February 22nd, 2013 at 10:59 pm [Reply]

    @Peanut Gallery (#360): that’s it! thanks

    @Poteet (#363): this plot, such as it is, seems to me is winding down… unless the smuckler bros. wrote her a bad check. then, look out!

  367. I speak Jive
    February 22nd, 2013 at 11:05 pm [Reply]

    @Cloudbuster (#359): That is exactly how I feel about the comics that are discussed here. I have been reading the comics since I was in grade school – first the funny ones, and as I got older I picked up on the serial strips. I have real affection for Mary Worth and Mark Trail, and Rex Morgan to a lesser extent. But I loathe Funky Winkerbean and 9CL, I think because of the authors’ unmerited high opinions of their own talents. I don’t follow Luann, but if I did, I’m sure I’d hate it.

  368. The Right Venerable Pasdordan
    February 22nd, 2013 at 11:10 pm [Reply]

    @Poteet (#364): Expect Poochie any minute now.

  369. Poteet
    February 22nd, 2013 at 11:10 pm [Reply]

    @jim, some guy in iowa (#366): And yet, alas, we still haven’t gotten to the part where she is risking prison for her noble cow-stealing. Surely all will be revealed soon. My barf bag is on my desk.

  370. pugfuggly
    February 22nd, 2013 at 11:32 pm [Reply]

    @Peanut Gallery (#259):

    *badum-tsssssss*

    But seriously folks, he just changes the heads….

  371. jim, some guy in iowa
    February 22nd, 2013 at 11:47 pm [Reply]

    @Poteet (#369):

    (does the rex morgan terror face from earlier in the week)

  372. Elk Meadow
    February 23rd, 2013 at 12:14 am [Reply]

    Uncle Lumpy! Uncle Lumpy! Anyone? Hello?

    Where did that quote come from that John Dill is reading? I tried looking it up on Google, but gave up after 10 pages, as it was either Oscar Wilde, with no prime source, or autograph book sayings.

    Thank you!

  373. Uncle Lumpy
    February 23rd, 2013 at 12:18 am [Reply]

    @Elk Meadow (#372):

    Where did that quote come from …

    Apparently, somebody named “Internet.”

  374. bats :[
    February 23rd, 2013 at 12:20 am [Reply]

    @Der Kömmëntätör, Herr Schnärkïnätör (#346): yep, I’m sure I do know them. We all gather around the hitchin’ post and jaw.
    Then again, you never know…sometimes it’s a freaky small world. :) (Do you know my friends from Tucson, who moved circuitously around the Midwest before settling in Savage MN a few years ago? Settling = buying a house)

  375. bats :[
    February 23rd, 2013 at 12:22 am [Reply]

    Oh, I was born and raised in Phoenix, but mr. bats :[ was born in Tucson and lived here all his life — much smaller back then, so your wife and he may have at least attended the same HS or somethin’…

  376. bats :[
    February 23rd, 2013 at 12:28 am [Reply]

    @jim, some guy in iowa (#358): it could’ve been a vaginal suppository — Twinkly might’ve developed an infection when Rocky was born.
    Or if she was hit with baseball bats.

    (Having dealt with the aft side of dairy cattle, I can’t imagine one retaining a “regular” suppository for any length of time if it didn’t want to have one in the regular Brookesian passageway.)

  377. Elk Meadow
    February 23rd, 2013 at 12:37 am [Reply]

    Thanks, Uncle Lumpy. No wonder there wasn’t name dropping an author attributed.

  378. tallyHO
    February 23rd, 2013 at 12:53 am [Reply]

    @Uncle Lumpy (#373):
    Everybody knows that certain someone likes making stuff up.

    I heard Internet uses a random quote generator algorithmic drum band.

  379. Mr. O’Malley
    February 23rd, 2013 at 1:22 am [Reply]

    @Cloudbuster (#357): @Poteet (#347): We buy animals direct from farmers, but we don’t get them until they’re cut up and packaged. It’s my understanding that you have to be licensed to kill animals, but they do it on the farm. Some buyers like to have a picnic and watch the show. Then they have to be butchered in a licensed facility. But that’s all a service that’s included in the price.

    All we do is get in touch with the farm and say we’d like a quarter cow or whatever, and on some particular day a truck rolls into town and sets up in a parking lot (the farm is about 150 miles away) and all the people like us go and pick up our meat. Interesting crowd of people, you meet all sorts there.

    Pigs we have shipped from Kansas since after our one favorite farmer retired we couldn’t find any good pork locally. If we happen to be in Kansas we might go visit them because as well as raising pigs and deer they also run a B&B. Not too close to the pigs, I hope.

    I’d much rather my money went to hard-working farmers and butchers than agribusiness and giant corporations. When I hear about all these massive recalls of tainted meat I am glad I know exactly where my meat comes from.

    I read that these small independent butchers were becoming scarcer along with family farms, but the increasing popularity of direct-to-consumer sales may give a boost to both. It does mean that the farmers have to do their own marketing.

  380. Mike
    February 23rd, 2013 at 8:37 am [Reply]

    Wait…so Lois’s “average modern stereotype teenage son” is anachronistically into bands that came out twenty years after the war Lois’s brother is still nominally fighting ended.

    Ow.

  381. remmy
    February 23rd, 2013 at 9:37 am [Reply]

    @Cloudbuster (#357): No I think you don’t have it totally right, there are snarkers that are masochists and love bad comics for some damn reason, and there are those of us that actively try to get the terrible comic page artists fired from their syndicates.

  382. Night
    February 23rd, 2013 at 11:29 am [Reply]

    Haha, gender identification crisis! So funny you should reference it every day this week!

    Man I can’t wait for Josh to get back, these weeks are always tiresome.

  383. Amos Snarkadder
    February 25th, 2013 at 12:47 pm [Reply]

    Crank shiv – Go ahead! Cut him! Cut him good! Make him bleed! What are you waiting for?

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