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Mary Worth htroW yraM

Mary Worth, 8/6/08

Most scientists agree that today’s Mary Worth — in which Toby completes an e-commerce transaction with a click of the F10 button, then contemplates checking her e-mail — contains the least amount of action that can possibly sustain two panels. However, based on observations from the past few installments of this strip, tomorrow’s Mary Worth will almost certainly contain even less of interest, causing the local time continuum to ground to a halt. Friday’s strip will then take place on Wednesday, as the timeflow begins to unspool in reverse. It’s unclear what the cosmic consequences for this violation of the rules of nature will be, but it can’t be good.

Rex Morgan, M.D., 8/6/08

The second and third panels of this strip contain a delightful study in contrasts. In panel two, June’s manic grin is wholly inappropriate for someone proposing to spend a painful week alone with her surly, disinterested husband; in panel three, Rex reacts to the suggestion with a stone-faced mask that barely conceals mounting panic, as if — oh, I don’t know, his wife had walked in on him having sex with another guy in the laundry room, to pick a random example out of thin air for no reason.

It’s worth noting that this blog’s murky opening days covered the tail end of a Rex Morgan, M.D., storyline that involved our medical couple going on a disastrous white-water rafting trip. I’m pretty sure that this was for fun (meeting my definition of a “vacation,” anyway) and Sarah was very much alive at that point, as Rex and June decided to fire their nanny during the drive home.

Curtis, 8/6/08

Good Lord! It’s so hot that Ms. Honeystump has been emblackened!

Mother Goose and Grimm, 8/6/08

dear God WHERE ARE THEY GOING TO PUT THAT TRANSMITTER

This entry was posted on Wednesday, August 6, 2008 at 09:55 pm and is filed under Curtis, Mary Worth, Mother Goose and Grimm, Rex Morgan, M.D.. |

122 responses to “Mary Worth htroW yraM”

FOOBed again
August 6th, 2008 at 10:00 pm [Reply]

Plus Ms. Honeystump’s hair turned gray overnight.
halfpint
August 6th, 2008 at 10:02 pm [Reply]

MW – This is the slowest action I have seen in some time. Of course, this IS Mary Worth.
Madeline
August 6th, 2008 at 10:05 pm [Reply]

Curtis: I’m more shocked by the fact that Curtis’s school has air conditioning. Back in my day, we just had to suffer when it was hot. And by “back in my day,” I mean practically now, because I’m 19.
ray
August 6th, 2008 at 10:05 pm [Reply]

The whole Curtis strip is obviously a heat stroke fantasy of Curtis where his teacher is a sexy black milf and he gets to see her boobs
thorpedo
August 6th, 2008 at 10:05 pm [Reply]

In Curtis it seem like one of the coloring lackeys was just told to use the usual school year “teacher” colors on the lady in the panel. Do you think that he thought that Mrs. Whatsherface, Curtis’s usual plump older teacher had just had an Extreme Makeover?
Uncle Lumpy
August 6th, 2008 at 10:08 pm [Reply]

Mary Worth — But how are spam and junk not the same thing? Is it that spam is always mass-mailed, while junk may target you personally? And just what sort of junk would target Toby personally?

Oh, I don’t like where this is going . . . .
Hank
August 6th, 2008 at 10:09 pm [Reply]

RE: Rex Morgan. Actually, maybe June is just the kind of woman who thinks they haven’t taken a “real” vacation if it doesn’t involve a passport and an expensive hotel.
Muddtallica
August 6th, 2008 at 10:11 pm [Reply]

My theory on the Honeystump mystery? Judging from the fact that she seems to be singing all her dialogue, I can only conclude that she must be some kind of reverse Michael Jackson. No wonder the children look so distressed.
Dono
August 6th, 2008 at 10:16 pm [Reply]

Bow chicka bow bow for panel three of today’s Luann. In the words of Anthony Michael Hall, this is getting good.

http://www.comics.com/comics/luann/archive/luann-20080806.html
Mac
August 6th, 2008 at 10:19 pm [Reply]

I am actually enjoying the Toeby storyline. Its extreme slowness is actually fitting, what with the telegraphing of what’s going to happen. I think that Karen Moy actually sent the script via Morse Code.
Dingo
August 6th, 2008 at 10:20 pm [Reply]

I know you’re all expecting me to write something involving those Mother Goose & Grimm dogs and the hirsute mailman’s rectum but I won’t. I won’t. It’s just too easy.
mikey
August 6th, 2008 at 10:21 pm [Reply]

I read an article in the paper about persons who’ve put ‘hard to detect electronic devices in gas pumps to steal credit card information…stealing $3.5m so far.’ So this is clearly where the plot is heading, or its the worst set-up for ‘entertainment’ since the reading of war of the worlds over the radio, as a news broadcast, sent large cities into looting panic.
Paperback Rifler
August 6th, 2008 at 10:21 pm [Reply]

(previous thread) 359. lynngineering: wait…there’s a wedding coming up in FBOFW?

Boy, is there ever! Heck, there’s even a song about it, for which I’m sure that apologies are due to Paul Stookey, the composer of “The Wedding Song (There Is Love)”:

They are now to nauseate you by exchanging sappy vows.
Rest assured, Foobocalypse will be any day now.
Liz at last will settle for her flaccid Anthony;
But we know that if this wretched farce were up to you and me,
There’d be blood . . .
There’d be blood . . .

Well, a man can have his sweetheart that he’s stalked for all his life;
Is it wrong that he wooed her while he still had a wife?
His daughter’s in the basement, kept under key and lock;
If Liz is forced to join her in that moldy wedding frock,
There’ll be blood . . .
There’ll be blood . . .

Well then, what the hell’s the reason to mix treacle with bad puns?
And why are April’s hands down in John’s “crumberbund?”
Well, this wedding’s grimly certain; and it’s also safe to say
If you cut in front of John and El in line at the buffet,
There’ll be blood . . .
There’ll be blood . . .

So the bland man has his vict’ry and is full of clammy cheer.
Soon he’ll have possession of both Lizzie and her rear.
And if upon their wedding night, his manhood won’t increase,
And if he has the nerve to blame it all upon Thérèse,
There’ll be blood . . .
There’ll be blood . . .
Harold
August 6th, 2008 at 10:22 pm [Reply]

The new Mary Worth storyline: ripped from today’s headlines!

http://www.pcworld.com/article/149485/massive_identity_theft_exposes_troubling_trend.html

Rex appears to be recoiling in horror and/or disgust. I expect he will mash that wine glass into June’s face before he flees.
LTBF
August 6th, 2008 at 10:31 pm [Reply]

The book publisher says he is a big fan of Judge Parker. How many people can even name the district judge that serves them, much less one halfway across the country?
Cami
August 6th, 2008 at 10:34 pm [Reply]

One look at Rex’s face in panel one and the music to “Popular” from Wicked ran through my mind. Except the lyrics were replaced with “Psychopath. Rex is a psych-o-O-path.”
Aesop
August 6th, 2008 at 10:35 pm [Reply]

When Toby says, “It’s usually spam and junk,” she means, “It’s usually another e-mail from Mary Worth.”
Joe Blevins
August 6th, 2008 at 10:40 pm [Reply]

I like that Toby is affecting the classic Jackie Harvey hand-on-chin, “thoughtful” pose with the prerequisite blank expression in panel 2.
Doctorb
August 6th, 2008 at 10:42 pm [Reply]

Those dogs really just look like they want to eat the transmitter. Their eyes and tail-wagging just scream “BACONBACONBACONBACONBACON”.
Nekrotzar
August 6th, 2008 at 10:45 pm [Reply]

In a desperate attempt to save the time-space continuum, I have created an alternate version of Mary Worth that is at least a little bit more exciting.
Poteet
August 6th, 2008 at 10:48 pm [Reply]

# 16 Cami — I noticed Rex’s expression in the first panel also. My first thought was “All work and no play make Rex a dull boy.”
Porky
August 6th, 2008 at 10:57 pm [Reply]

“F10 button”?
Judging from the sound effect, it looks more like Toby just clicked the space bar with her left elbow. The space bar that’s actually the space key….
Poteet
August 6th, 2008 at 10:58 pm [Reply]

# 13 Paperback — BWAHAHA! And now I’m thinking again of other potential songs for this wedding. We’ve Only Just Begun, Time In A Bottle, At Last, Baby Got Back…
Jacey
August 6th, 2008 at 10:58 pm [Reply]

I hope Toby answers an e-mail from an exiled Nigerian prince.
Eli
August 6th, 2008 at 11:01 pm [Reply]

I kinda thought Rex’s look of transparent panic in panel 3 was more about the prospect of an entire week of trying to fight off his wife’s sexual advances.

It probably didn’t help that she mentioned her pregnancy, thus indirectly reminding him of their *previous* sexual encounter.
name sake
August 6th, 2008 at 11:01 pm [Reply]

okay, first post since before the summer, but toby’s thought balloons should go to her finger, it thinks for her when she’s at the typewriter with the t.v. on it, and in rex, don’t judge too much what they look like, the blood in thier wine glasses is just a bad year compared to normal.
but curtis, oh man, i feel 4 ya, she could sing her lines like prince and i’d still wish she honey’d my stump…she’s gotta be 34-14-34…woof.
Vakar
August 6th, 2008 at 11:01 pm [Reply]

23: “Eve of Destruction”…
texas buddha
August 6th, 2008 at 11:02 pm [Reply]

I’m hoping that tomorrow’s Mary Worth will have Toby actually reading through her junk mail just to make sure it is in fact junk.

“Hmmm… Find a culinary school… No… $500 gift card at Whole Foods… Cool!… Oh drat. Participation required… What’s this?… Longer, stronger, firmer erections… Ewww.”
Rusty
August 6th, 2008 at 11:03 pm [Reply]

RMMD: Rex and June have the combined income of a doctor and nurse, yet he mopes about needing to win the lottery? Must be pluggers.
queek
August 6th, 2008 at 11:04 pm [Reply]

josh sez: “dear God WHERE ARE THEY GOING TO PUT THAT TRANSMITTER”

Forrest Gump answers: “In his butt-ocks”
TeacherPatti
August 6th, 2008 at 11:05 pm [Reply]

Uh…in a thousand years, I would never say something like “sweat clear through my shirt” to a prepub (or however old Curtis is supposed to be) kid. And if it’s going to be cold, I’ll band-aid the girls if I have to.

And it IS pretty rare for schools to have a/c. Although my school does. Sadly, only two rooms don’t have access to it. Guess who has one of those rooms??
Eli
August 6th, 2008 at 11:06 pm [Reply]

I hope Toby answers an e-mail from an exiled Nigerian prince.

I would give my left nut to see the words “But I don’t even have a penis!” appear in a Mary Worth comic.

Or Family Circus. Whichever.
Hilo
August 6th, 2008 at 11:06 pm [Reply]

Does that keyboard not have a spacebar?
odinthor
August 6th, 2008 at 11:06 pm [Reply]

RMMD — The twinkle in Rex’s eyes faded as June spoke. That night . . . that night when June got pregnant with Sarah . . . With a feigned indifference, Rex gulped down the rest of his Moscato, passed his hand over his face, and said, with an adolescent’s awkward tenseness, “Haven’t we got anything stronger?”. But June did not hear him. June was lost in reminiscences of Ramon the cabana boy. Soon, so was Rex.
LMCC
August 6th, 2008 at 11:08 pm [Reply]

I can’t help but think Curtis would be more comfortable in the heat if he took off his sweater.
texas buddha
August 6th, 2008 at 11:09 pm [Reply]

The Mother Goose and Grimm transmitter joke is obviously part of the New World Order Microchip Agenda Predictive Programming Propaganda Machine…

… Just getting us all used to the idea.
Cannot Find Server
August 6th, 2008 at 11:12 pm [Reply]

With each day containing one-half the action of the previous day, Mary Worth may finally prove Zeno’s paradox right. Which means we will be reading this storyline for an eternity. See you in two months as we watch Mary progress one-sixteenth the distance of her room!
LTBF
August 6th, 2008 at 11:13 pm [Reply]

What school does Curtis attend that permits hats?
ftna
August 6th, 2008 at 11:15 pm [Reply]

Rex in panel three: are you saying Sarah came from your body?? And to think I always liked that kid.
rhymes with puck
August 6th, 2008 at 11:19 pm [Reply]

Curtis: Wow, Curtis’ first hard on was a doozy!

BC: Well I guess this means that there’s no “Skool” tomorrow.
Alfred E. Neuman
August 6th, 2008 at 11:20 pm [Reply]

#346 trey le parc (yesterthread) Re: Luann— I have often wondered what Greg Evans is up to with Luann. She is a cute, perky-breasted teenager, but it’s been a long time since she has had a boy even slightly interested in her (androgynous Aaron doesn’t count). On the other hand, she has had two females (Bernice and Toni) make sexual overtures toward her in the last few months. She rejected Bernice quickly and bluntly, but today she has a look of impending ecstasy under Toni’s stroking.
So here’s my ideal “Luann” for the near future: Start with a smoldering Toni–Luann romance. Luann certainly has more sex appeal for Toni than Brad-the-eunuch. Next, Bernice could satisfy her immense sexual frustration with Delta, or her brother Ben, or both. Finally, Dirk and Tiffany (who are made for each other) could hook up. As to Brad and TJ, who cares?

C’mon, Evans, let’s get some hot sticky romances going here!
Niall
August 6th, 2008 at 11:20 pm [Reply]

Y119. Joe Btfsplk: ThungCo! Brilliant!

Y153. Bunnë: that table-setting mnemonic is going to stay with me now… :) But those are for middle-level cutlery sets. I’ve been to a high-end restaurant in Ireland (Ballymaloe House) where there is an actual Cutlery Boy whose job it is to change your ’standard starting’ cutlery to what you’ll need with your particular meal. All forks are on the left, all knives on the right, and all spoons above your plate. The rule of thumb was “outside in” as to what you use.

Y174. Poteet: but you’d be much, much prettier than Rufus. :)

Y186. Dingo: Congratulations on the employment! And I think Gadge can take it. :) And (198.) boy, do you ever have video production skills! And to think they “Mary Worth, Dancing Queen” will get you to fit in? Yeah, that’s definitely a gaming company. You’ll be home. Spread the Mudge goodness! :)

Y202. True Fable: actually, I think the F- joke was that the other roadside wild animals were the ones to put up the memorial, not humans about their pets.

Y211. Mibbitmaker: there’s no need to be “pro gay marriage” in a strip wirtten in and taking place in a province and country in which it’s now legal to do so, so the first part of the fight has been won. it would be like a strip character being a proponent of women’s right to vote.

Y218. Jym: whoa, Ms Honeystumps with blue hair? and dark skin?? Come to think of it, we may prosit that there’s no directions from the cartoonists about colouring strips normally in B&W, and that it may change from paper to paper.

Y221. Trace Bullet: I fully agree. I scream in frustration each morning this week at how much more inane and boring it has become over the previous day’s strip, but it bears a perverse fascination.

Y312. SSB: Bwahaahaha!!! I love binary humour.
Poteet
August 6th, 2008 at 11:25 pm [Reply]

# 3 Madeline — Many schools in my area don’t have AC, and none of them did when I was a child. I remember sitting in my (very) old grade school in June with the windows wide open (no screens), watching the white fluffy cottonwood seeds drift in. For a while, they’d float in the air, which was fun to watch. Then they’d fall onto the old wooden floor and sort of roll around, propelled by the June breeze, forming fluffy white balls and cylinders. Even more fun to watch.

No wonder I didn’t end up going to Harvard.
Artist formerly known as Ben
August 6th, 2008 at 11:25 pm [Reply]

There are musical notes floating in Ms Honeystump’s word balloons, indicating that she’s singing. Does she spend a lot of class time singing about her tits? Apparently the big criterion for teachers in Curtis’s district is “Are you too raunchy to be a Pussycat Doll?”
Gojira
August 6th, 2008 at 11:27 pm [Reply]

To make sure this discussion gets proper attention:

#358 dale, yesterthread re: Watch Your Head:

In this strip, I have no idea who or what the characters are. There is one who seems to have the physical attributes of Pat from SNL (except for color and that isn’t always obvious).

#360 Cory Thomas, WYH artist himself, replies:

OK, dale. That’s too many times to be coincidence. I’ve heard this a few times before, but no one can tell me why… why do some people have such trouble telling the characters and sexes apart?

Most times I ask this question I get the textual equivalent of a shrug. Maybe this time I’ll get some more than that.

Comments, anyone?
SecretMargo
August 6th, 2008 at 11:29 pm [Reply]

….hello? hello? Is this thing still on?

Yes, I’ve been gone so long most of you probably don’t even remember who I am. But I’m trying to get back to the swing of things!

Dingo: I heard about your new job! Congrats! I’m moving back to Chicago in September, we should eat some ~~sausages~~ ~~“tube steaks”~~ ~~bananas~~ ~~Creamsicles~~ local cuisine together sometime! Bunnë, this goes for you too!

Now, I will once again talk about some comics. It’s been far too long. How is everybody?

Funky W: Still…[margo]ing creeptastic, I see! Les’ body language suggests less “I’m happy you’re still alive, treasured daughter!” than “Wow, maybe there’ll some hot chicks there I can offer ’shoulder massages’ too that, while still underage, are at least not my own daughter!” It’s good to set boundaries!

FBoFW “And by ‘married in spirit,’ I mean, ‘married to a spirit.’ Why do you think you never see him anymore? Oh, by the way, don’t the dog sniff around too much near those plantings. No, no reason.”

Mary Worth: This may have been pointed out in the earlier thread, but it does seem obvious that Toby could ’surf the net’ more efficiently if she ‘hunted and pecked’ with both hands instead of one hand and one elbow.

DtM: While clinical psychosis is not precisely ‘contagious’ in the usual sense of the term, visiting those who suffer from it is not usually encouraged. Unless it is the type of ‘visits’ the Romans encouraged Christians to pay to lions.
Niall
August 6th, 2008 at 11:34 pm [Reply]

20. Nekrotzar: hilarious! And I love the inclusion of Max. Except that Tobye is no Cassandra.
Cory Thomas
August 6th, 2008 at 11:37 pm [Reply]

Thanks, Gojira.

I was already cradling that post and shutting its eyelids.
Dingo
August 6th, 2008 at 11:37 pm [Reply]

SecretMargo, just name the place!
psychobiddy
August 6th, 2008 at 11:38 pm [Reply]

Mmm. Emblackened honeystump. So THAT’S what got Bennigan’s shut down.
Niall
August 6th, 2008 at 11:38 pm [Reply]

46. SecretMargo: I can’t forget what is probably the Mudgeon who is closest to me – 2 hours away. :) …and not for long from what I can see! *pout*
heynoni
August 6th, 2008 at 11:38 pm [Reply]

The last few strips of Mary Worth have caused the mere mention of the words “Internet” and “email” to send a chill through my spine. In fact, my mind now rings with a dramatic “Da da dummmmm!!!!!” sting at the sight of the very words themselves, thanks to the strip’s subtle use of italics and exclamation marks.

Thank God Ms Worth is about to hammer home the awful truth: This new-fangled computer internet thingy is a pox on society. A thing as evil as a women’s shelter!!!

Da da dummmmm!!!
Poteet
August 6th, 2008 at 11:39 pm [Reply]

# 42 Niall — Thank you very kindly! My cats have informed me, however, that arm-draping is not even remotely negotiable.
Norm
August 6th, 2008 at 11:40 pm [Reply]

Wouldn’t it be hilarious if the current Mary Worth storyline continued like it did without interruption. Like, we would see 20 or so more strips of Toby completing normal day to day activities, and Prof. Chinbeard would get his documentary in the mail? And nothing else happened? I wish they would do something like that… so I’d know that they’d know that nobody really cares about their comic anymore.
Degroot of All Evil
August 6th, 2008 at 11:43 pm [Reply]

I don’t think that the notes in Ms. Honeystump’s word balloon mean she’s singing. She’s just got a melodic voice, like Melody from the Pussycats. Speaking of Melody from the Pussycats, maybe Honeystump just got a crazy ass spray-on tan ala Tara Reid.
SecretMargo
August 6th, 2008 at 11:43 pm [Reply]

46. Me: Wow, that’s…a lot of typos! Hopefully practice will make me literate once more…

49: Dingo: Well, I’m not even sure where I’m living yet, but when I get settled, I’m sensing a Chicago-style Curmudgeoning on the horizon. I’ll try to be gentle.

51: Niall: I’m trying to eat as much chocolate before I leave as I can in your honor.
Lobsterchicky
August 6th, 2008 at 11:43 pm [Reply]

Interesting how, in the process of emblackening, Ms. (shudder…) Honeystump also decided to cover up. The cleavage is too much for the children, but the line that precedes the “bamp chicka bow bow” in every porno from the early ’80s is acceptable classroom behavior.
heynoni
August 6th, 2008 at 11:46 pm [Reply]

Rex is thinking:

“Pregnant”? ewwww! I’m eating here!
SecretMargo
August 6th, 2008 at 11:51 pm [Reply]

Isn’t it weird to set up the punchline in Curtis with the “sweating bullets” remark in the first panel? It’s almost as though we’re supposed to understand Curtis as being rightfully frightened by the prospect of a volley of hot lead strafing the classroom as their fembot teacher loses control.
The Spectacular Spider-Brick
August 6th, 2008 at 11:58 pm [Reply]

Cory Thomas @ 360 yesterthread: I think your readers might have trouble telling the sexes apart in your comic because comic readers have been primed to recognize female characters by their attributes. I’d say, keep doing what you’re doing.
Jetsam
August 7th, 2008 at 12:00 am [Reply]

Did the kid in the first panel of Curtis get emasianed?

Just asking.

No, you’re a racist!
The Spectacular Spider-Brick
August 7th, 2008 at 12:01 am [Reply]

SecretMargo @ 46: When you move back to Chicagoland, you, too, are welcome to make an offer on my fiancee’s house in picturesque Waukegan.
Bad at Net Handles
August 7th, 2008 at 12:02 am [Reply]

Wow, I guess I didn’t realize how Yankee-centric this blog is. There’s not a school here in the Sun Belt that doesn’t have air conditioning–which is a good thing, since school starts this week and highs are over a hundred. A school without air conditioning would basically be an Easy Bake Oven for tiny children. I think we can all agree that would be a bad thing.

A Southern teacher should, however, definitely know better than to wear black-face into the classroom. Her attempts to appear old enough to remember when minstrel shows were not considered offensive will not save her from community ire–unless, of course, the community is made up entirely of pubescent boys. In that case she can basically wear a Klan hood, as long as the costume doesn’t extend below her neck.
Foobar
August 7th, 2008 at 12:03 am [Reply]

#9- Ohhh yeeah. Luann looks pretty pleased. Working, indeed.
LTBF
August 7th, 2008 at 12:04 am [Reply]

Do you think Lawrence would have given the free flowers if he had been privvy to this conversation….

http://www.fborfw.com/strip_fix/archives/000402.php

Her first reaction when told to ask Lawrence to set her up was “He’s gay”. As if gay people don’t know any hterosexuals. How open minded of her.

Of course, she was right as Lawrence fixed her up with a gay guy.

I never understood why Mike didn’t “escort” her to Anthony’s wedding. If anthony is such a friend of the family, how come everyone wasn’t invited? But I don’t see why you can’t go to a wedding in Canada by yourself.
SecretMargo
August 7th, 2008 at 12:04 am [Reply]

62: SSB: As kind as your offer is, I must admit that my budget is geared more toward a nice cardboard box near the fountain in Wicker Park.
LTBF
August 7th, 2008 at 12:09 am [Reply]

The mooch fest continues in Thursday’s Foob.

Gordon has arranged for six limos. I’ve never rented one, but I’d guess getting one would cost around $400.

But why does April say “He even hired drivers to pick people up at their houses.” I thought that’s what limo companies did…rent cars driven by people who take you where you want to go.
Rusty
August 7th, 2008 at 12:09 am [Reply]

#60: Cory isn’t drawing huge tracts of land? I just checked out his website, the main characters seem pretty well-defined. although Omar and Cory could pass for twins if you take off the glasses.
Bunnë, Official Comic Execrator
August 7th, 2008 at 12:11 am [Reply]

SecretMargo, Dingo — I sense I am being lured out of the house… if the fresh air does not burn my skin like acid I will be there. Somewhere.
commodorejohn
August 7th, 2008 at 12:13 am [Reply]

#61 Jetsam – Nope, he’s been Asian since his introduction at the start of this storyline.
LTBF
August 7th, 2008 at 12:16 am [Reply]

More stupid writing that just occurred to me……

Apparently the rest of this month’s strips take place on the wedding day. So why is she just now being told about the limos?

One limo for Liz and the bridal party and five for family? I assume April is a bridesmaid and mike seems to be a groomsman. so that leaves John, Elly, Jim and Iris for her family. Anthony’s parents don’t seem to care about him. How many limos do they really need.

Way to protect the enviroment, Lynn. Hire a bunch of gas guzzlers with nobody in them.
Sorako-chan
August 7th, 2008 at 12:16 am [Reply]

The dogs will probably steel one of his kidneys while they’re putting that transmitter in.
pigs
August 7th, 2008 at 12:19 am [Reply]

RM, M.D: I’m pretty sure panel three is Rex thinking “Wait…I impregnated you? Note to self: never take ecstasy again…”
Bunnë, Official Comic Execrator
August 7th, 2008 at 12:22 am [Reply]

So OK, I’ve ranted against FBoFW… yesterday, even… but I have this to say, in all fairness. FBoFW is a mainstream comic, running in big cities and in the hinterlands across the US and Canada (plus Parts Unknown, I’m sure). The fact that Johnston included a gay character, and that she’s reminding people that gay marriage exists (even if she declines to depict the wedding) — that’s kinda huge.

I remember reading Dune, and thinking, hey, Baron Harkonnen is gay! — and getting some sort of validation out of that. Really? Baron Harkonnen? Vast, vile, dissolute Baron Harkonnen? I mean, here’s a case where homosexuality is used as an earmark for sheer depravity; I should not be feeling GOOD about this.

By contrast, when Laurence came out in my daily newspaper’s funny pages, I felt good about that, and as I recall Johnston didn’t give me any reasons to feel otherwise. So at the end of the day, I feel good abut Laurence. So Johnston doesn’t want him to want to get married; the message is still more positive than it is negative.

I’m going to save my annoyance over portrayals of gay characters for Frank Herbert, instead of Lynn Johnston. She’s got nothing on him.

I reserve the right to remain annoyed about Liz and Anthony, though.
aristos_achaion
August 7th, 2008 at 12:27 am [Reply]

Anyone else notice that the keys on Toby’s keyboard aren’t staggered–they’re in a straight grid…like she’s using an enormous Frogpad or something.
SecretMargo
August 7th, 2008 at 12:34 am [Reply]

Bunnë: I’ve always thought the same about Lawrence. Also, I always thought he was cute (so I took the saddling of him with the Pattersoppy Nick kind of personally).

Plus, I like the jarring realization that the last panel awakens in an American reader (wait, they don’t have that right….oh wait! There are places where that is a right!), even if she couldn’t allow them to actually go through with it.
LTBF
August 7th, 2008 at 12:40 am [Reply]

My gripe is that only Pattersons get married. mike and Dee got married in secret before moving in together. Liz lived with Eric but in her own bedroom.

But Liz’s friend and the guy she kicked out of Eric’s place have been shacking up for years with no thought of getting married. Weed and his skank shack up and don’t care about making it legal. Lawrence and Nick are married in spirit, who needs a ceremony?

But the Patterfoob family will trudge down the aisle before having sex. The hyphen girl did get married, but that was just an excuse to get her and Anthony together.
Poteet
August 7th, 2008 at 12:40 am [Reply]

# 46 — Welcome back, SecretMargo! Hope things have been going well.

And re your glorious namesake, A3G is so exciting nowadays that some of us can hardly stand it, what with side plots bouncing back and forth between the mountains of Asia and the prairies of South Dakota, except we may never actually GET to the latter because whatever the hell Eric is doing in Asia (musing interminably to himself and trying to get the locals in trouble is all I’ve really seen so far) is just so incredibly fascinating. Not that I’m bitter. I really hope Margo will finally insist on going to South Dakota with Lu Ann. Then we may stand a chance.
Orange Doorhinge
August 7th, 2008 at 12:46 am [Reply]

I too think Lynn should receive kudos for her column Wed. It may be a bit feeble, a bit lame, but she is walking the walk. A lot of people will read that strip, she’ll get a lot of flak for it.

Mary Worth: Considering how the last ’story’ went exactly nowhere…it could have been so fun with politicians on the take and a jealous doctor boyfriend…so many meddling possibilities! I was really bummed. ANYhow, supposing Tobey has her identity stolen- HOW can Mary meddle that? Other than going with Tobey to the bank and assuring the Manager (with platitudes) that her friend would never go to Las Vegas and hire a male hooker?
Milo
August 7th, 2008 at 1:02 am [Reply]

Mrs. Honeystump is just a great master of disguise. She’s so great, in fact, that she can dress up in a gray wig and color her face and the children don’t even notice.

Seriously. Mary Worth is even more pointless than Cathy.
david t
August 7th, 2008 at 1:05 am [Reply]

MW: someone is just about to end up on a phishing site… “oh! looks like the chastertown first bank wants to verify my identity! well! mary always says you got to stay on the safe side… i better click now!”
mumbles
August 7th, 2008 at 1:14 am [Reply]

FOBFW: …..and Gordon does his share to ensure that the Foob wedding is the most. vulgar. ever.

Here’s hoping that they’re white SUV limos.

Seriously this is like some mondo “It’s a Wonderful Life”….when’s Sam Wainwright going to call in and pay for the whole mess? Hee-haw!
Poteet
August 7th, 2008 at 1:19 am [Reply]

8/7

JP — Is this friggin’ golf course located in the Southwest or the South Pacific?

Foob –
8/6 — Lawrence worships the Pattersons and offers flowers! 8/7 — Gordon worships the Pattersons and offers limos! More to follow! Where’s that drink?
Farley's Revenge
August 7th, 2008 at 1:20 am [Reply]

Today I cleaned the toilet and washed the dishes(not at the same time nor in the same place, though). I thought my life was dull, then I saw Toby’s. Man. Compared to her, I’m a whirlwind of excitement.

#13 Paperback Rifler: Very well done and far more entertaining than the actual FOOB wedding.
NotThatGuy
August 7th, 2008 at 1:25 am [Reply]

What is with the animals in Thursday’s Mark Trail? The humans were always crossed with aliens, but at least a squirrel was a squirrel and not pretending to be a mountain lion cub. OTOH, the lemur, squirrel, and large baboon-headed dog-bear will provide Kelly Welly with footage of creatures as yet unknown to science.
Anonymous
August 7th, 2008 at 1:28 am [Reply]

8/7’s Momma should’ve stopped at the first panel.
Weaselboy
August 7th, 2008 at 1:34 am [Reply]

Presenting a one-woman show: The Toby Monologues

Ian was interested in that documentary on Scotland…the one narrated by Sean Finnery. Hmmm…I don’t see it here. Sigh…I really want to get it for him. Maybe they’ll have it online! I’ll go home to shop for Ian’s gift! He has particular tastes, so I want to make sure it’s something he likes! Fill her up, please! Super unleaded. Boy, my credit card is getting a real work-out today. My credit card is getting a workout today, but who am I to complain? It’s such a convenience to avoid using cash! Thank you. Too bad the bookstore didn’t have that DVD for Ian! I’ll go home and look for it online. I’d go to the ends of the earth if I had to for him! Luckily, that’s not required in this case! I’m sure I’ll find that DVD he wants on enormoushop.com. He’s going to be pleased that his smart, resourceful wife got him what he wants for his birthday! If any place would sell Ian’s DVD, it’s enormoushop.com! They sell everything! Electronics, books…Aha! DVDs! Now let’s see if they sell my husband’s desired documentary! Darn, they only have it as a used product from various sellers! And the prices are much higher than the original! It must be a rare item of sorts! Oh well, nothing but the second-best for my Ian! …And send! While I’m here, I might as well check my Email! Too bad it’s usually just spam and junk! Enormoushop can’t close my account! I bought Ian’s gift from them!

I see Kristin Chenoweth in the title role.
fillmoreeast
August 7th, 2008 at 1:38 am [Reply]

“It’s unclear what the cosmic consequences for this violation of the rules of nature will be, but it can’t be good.”

Are you kidding? If Mary Worth starts running in reverse, then it can only lead to the most glorious of all possibilities: the resurrection of Aldo! The Kelrastalker lives again!
Poteet
August 7th, 2008 at 1:42 am [Reply]

MW — By the flames of the infernal region, this story really IS going to be about phishing! *pause to roll eyes* That being the case, why were we forced to watch Toby’s exciting stop at the service station staffed by that escapee from the Emerald City? And will we be forced to watch her remember that visit when she tries to figure out how her credit card number was stolen? And then are we going to have to sit quietly in a semi-circle and not whisper to each other while we are told, in excrutiating detail, by Mary or possibly Ian, what phishing is? Pass the chloral hydrate, please!
DanKirby
August 7th, 2008 at 1:45 am [Reply]

H&L: Lois is confusing the sensation of “freezing” with the sensation of “flesh dissolving”. A common mistake.
Drake Pope
August 7th, 2008 at 1:47 am [Reply]

Re: Mary Worth

Well, if the comics’ page destroys time and space one more time, I’m sending a very condescending letter to the editor.
Red Greenback
August 7th, 2008 at 1:47 am [Reply]

SecretMargo, welcome back! I was just about ready to call Mark and Ranger Rick to search for you.
Anyway, it’s really an alien and confusing feeling, but I find myself anxiously awaiting the next installment of Mary Worth hoping to find out if nothing happens.
BigTed
August 7th, 2008 at 1:49 am [Reply]

Toby’s buying gifts for Ian, so she has to check her spam? Somebody’s getting some male-enhancement pills!
Trilobite
August 7th, 2008 at 1:50 am [Reply]

Avast ye, Thursday’s comics:

Gil Thorp: Now that I’ve seen what passes for sports journalism at the minor league level, I have new respect for Marty Moon. There’s none of the mealy-mouthed obsequiousness that we’re seeing at this press conference when Marty’s behind the microphone, that’s for damn sure. You’d never catch him saying “Not to be rude,” because Marty knows that his audience likes rude. Rude is what pays his tab over at the Liquor Barn.

Judge Parker: Oh, so having Sam Driver read your book means you need to get an extra $50,000 on the advance? That’s one hell of a reader’s fee…I’m beginning to see how his law office stays open even though Sam never seems to have any clients or do any actual legal work.
Poteet
August 7th, 2008 at 2:00 am [Reply]

MW — Given the suffering we’re enduring, I hope Toby’s Ennui-Intensive Phishing Adventure will at least end up with the purchase, in her name, of a semiload of sex toys that end up delivered to Charterstone.
flodnak
August 7th, 2008 at 2:07 am [Reply]

RM: “A vacation?!? I have heard that people sometimes have… sex… on a vacation. With their spouse. I don’t like the direction this conversation is taking at all.”
Mibbitmaker
August 7th, 2008 at 2:20 am [Reply]

8/7:

9CL: Hysterical Drunkenness. Never would’ve guessed.

A3G: There he goes, the Sgt. Schultz of Eastern holy men.

Curtis: “Play ‘Misty’ for me, Curtis!”

FOOB: Gordon Mayes: A real classhole.

GT: “Because we’re what’s great about America” is too early ’00s, it won’t work in the late ’00s. You’d be better with, “Because it would piss off Dick Cheney! Are you with me?!” Or maybe, “Obama! Hope!” is enough to fill seats.

JP: We’ve all heard that before in comics land, haven’t we?

MT: Kelly: “Hey, maybe we can go into that cave over there!”, pointing at the lion’s den.

MW: I think it goes without saying that any place that spells it “irgent” you’re better off deleting immediately! She’s the “mark” crooks dream of.

OBH: …or the live people, for that matter.

Ghost-You-Can-Run-Into-(But-I-Wouldn’t-Recommend-It!-): Even the blandly-lettered sound effects are repeating themselves. It’s almost like Phantom is refusing to move on from last week’s events until the furshlugginer FOOB nuptials are finally over with.

RMMD: On the Titanic, right?

SH: Only interesting compared to the lunacy of those around her, eh? Nah — Green Acres/The Bob Newhart Show/Newhart/WKRP/NewsRadio/Arrested Development did that bit much better!
Teri B.
August 7th, 2008 at 2:20 am [Reply]

I’m serious, I think the writers of MW are being deliberately ironic here. They’ve been a lot more self-conscious since the switch, and just like the Aldo storyline seemed to hint at acknowledging the dangerous nature of Mary’s eternal meddling, I think the strip right now is spoofing its own trend toward banality.
Bookworm
August 7th, 2008 at 2:27 am [Reply]

Toby is, of course, about to prove she’s not as smart as her thought balloon told her she was a few days ago. She had better hope she’s as resourceful as nice Mr. Thought Balloon said, though, once she’s living out of the dumpsters behind Charterstone after bad Mr. Phisher steals her identity and wipes out her accounts.
Mibbitmaker
August 7th, 2008 at 2:50 am [Reply]

8/7:

DT: I’m surprised there was room for the Alley Oop tribute, what with all the CONSTANT, HORRIFIC CLOSE-UPS and everything.

GF: Bucky Katt — supplier for Jim Halpert’s evil twin. Watch out, Bizarro World Dwight Schrute!!

Zits: Pierce, when he becomes an adult, should be a policeman. Then he’d be the long arm of the law! (ducks & covers, runs for the hills, etc.)

ZtP: ?????????????

It bears repeating:

ZtP: ?????????????
david t
August 7th, 2008 at 3:17 am [Reply]

i have got to say, “htrow yram” does sound like the name of some ungodly beast fresh out of hell.
david t
August 7th, 2008 at 3:25 am [Reply]

MW — looking at panel 2, i think toby doesn’t yet know the difference between the mouse pointer & her own index finger.
dale
August 7th, 2008 at 4:32 am [Reply]

45, 48, 60 – Watch Your Head
I responded at 362 previous.
I had no idea that Cory Thomas was the author. That would have made a difference in my public comment but not my true opinion.
The characters do look different from each other – some a little bit, some a lot.
The fundamental issue I have is that I could never figure out what was going on. The result is that I don’t associate any personality or identity with any particular character (picture).
Michael Schmahl
August 7th, 2008 at 6:57 am [Reply]

Tomorrow’s MW:

Panel 1: “As I suspected, there isn’t anything in my inbox.”

Panel 2: “I’m bored. I think I’ll check out joshreads.com….”

And the Worthiverse implodes in a whirlpool of self-referentiality.
K. Ivan Ruppert
August 7th, 2008 at 8:45 am [Reply]

Maybe in her previous appearance, Ms Honeystump was reinacting the classic Eddie Murphey SNL skit where he dressed up as a white guy in order to find out that most of our society’s rules and bureaucracy are an elaborate hoax designed to keep the black man down?
dimestore lipstick
August 7th, 2008 at 8:49 am [Reply]

MW–
In the Eye for Irony department:
Toeby exists only as Friend of Mary and Trophy Wife of Chinbeard. The victim of identity theft is the character with no discrete identity.
Astroboy
August 7th, 2008 at 10:19 am [Reply]

#13 – Paperback Rifler: Nicely done, my friend! (applause)
Ellie M.
August 7th, 2008 at 10:37 am [Reply]

Ms. Honeystump’s change of race is indeed puzzling. I am more intrigued, though, by the nurse, who seems to be midway through a sex change.
Desdemona
August 7th, 2008 at 11:39 am [Reply]

63: I thought the exact same thing. Schools without air conditioning + the Southern United States = Unintentional mass barbeque of innocents. Now lets argue about varying regional methods.
Deckard Canine
August 7th, 2008 at 11:42 am [Reply]

Thank you, Ellie, for pointing out the nurse.

This isn’t funny, but I have a dark suspicion (NPI) that they changed her race to cater to the demands of racist readers who don’t want to see a black male fantasizing over a white female.
Paul1963
August 7th, 2008 at 11:51 am [Reply]

Gojira @ 45: I’d never heard of Watch Your Head until now, so I clicked on the link in your message. First thing I noticed was that the male character looked kind of androgynous. The second thing I noticed was the first line, spoken by the female character:
“You know I trust you if I let you see my box!”

Eeeyeah.
Sully
August 7th, 2008 at 12:00 pm [Reply]

Yes, if it’s so damn hot, Curt-ass could remove his sweater, jeans, stupid hat… Hell, why doesn’t he just show up naked? That way, when Miss Honeybutt gets load of his moose-like package, the pre-pubescent fantasy that lurks so near the surface of this turgid plot line can reach full, uh, climax…
Deborah
August 7th, 2008 at 12:37 pm [Reply]

Miss Honeystump sings everything. Also dances. I mean, you can’t see it in the comic, but trust me. Curtis fainted because of the BOOM-CHUCKA-LUCKA that accompanied her dialogue about sweating through her shirt.
Master Mahan
August 7th, 2008 at 4:55 pm [Reply]

Sorry, June, but Rex won’t be able to go on this vacation with you. He’s already committed to a medical conference in a truckstop men’s room that weekend.
Jocasta
August 7th, 2008 at 4:57 pm [Reply]

Curtis: I’m not going to pretend that the whole storyline doesn’t wig me out a little.
Crankenstank
August 7th, 2008 at 6:05 pm [Reply]

I note that Rex has taken a very healthy swig of his wine between panels 1 and 3 as well!!
LouieLouie
August 7th, 2008 at 7:00 pm [Reply]

I think I’m suffering from early onset dementia. Was Laurence always black? Was Laurence the only black character in the FOOB-verse? (Well, maybe forgetting things about this comic isn’t dementia so much as some sort of self-preservation.)
Sheila Sternwell
August 7th, 2008 at 8:50 pm [Reply]

Anyone else hear “Moving in Stereo” by The Cars when they read “Curtis”? No? Allrighty then, time to up my meds.
Talking Squirrel
August 7th, 2008 at 9:08 pm [Reply]

Curtis: What bothers me is that they melanized Honeystump, but left the big butch nurse as a honky. In fact, just by gazing on her depleted-uranium shithouse of a bod, I’d guess her name must be Nurse Honkystump.
Phred22
August 7th, 2008 at 9:22 pm [Reply]

#38 – I suspect Curtis can’t take off his hat because it’s grafted to his head.

#35 – However, I agree he should take off his sweater.
Paul1963
August 8th, 2008 at 2:37 pm [Reply]

Phred22 @ 120: But drawing regular characters wearing different clothes is haaaaaarrrd…
BakNBlack
August 8th, 2008 at 7:06 pm [Reply]

A noble spirit emblackens the whitest teacher.

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