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Sexy Friday

Rex Morgan, M.D., 3/22/13

“Hello, everybody, we’re the creative team behind Rex Morgan, M.D.! We know that you enjoy exciting tales of adventure and the medical profession, and that you also like hot bodies in various stages of undress. We made you a promise — that the attractive characters in our feature would occasionally strip down to their underwear — and we aim to keep that promise. Every five years or so counts as ‘occasionally,’ right? We’re working our way up to full frontal nudity, which should get the syndicate OK sometime’s in the mid 2200s.”

Heathcliff, 3/22/13

I wouldn’t worry too much about photobombing, officer; Heathcliff will not be visible at all in this picture, seeing as the camera is pointed directly at the suspect’s crotch. This is a very particular kind of mug shot for a very specific audience.

Mark Trail, 3/22/13

“In the meantime, let’s enjoy a big, hearty bowl of orange mush in Rusty’s honor. Mush was all we ever allowed Rusty to eat, and orange was his favorite mush color. He would’ve wanted it this way! Er, does want it this way, I should say, he’s probably still alive. At least we’re all hoping that he is! Yeah, that’s it, hoping.”

Hi and Lois, 3/22/13

“Or to late March, which is when this comic strip will be published!”

206 responses to “Sexy Friday”

  1. Rocky Stoneaxe
    March 22nd, 2013 at 7:25 am [Reply]

    Marvin — Considering the amount of pee and poop in the Miller household (two dogs, an incontinent old man and, of course, Marvin), why is Jeff barefoot?

    And his misshapen feet look like Popeye’s forearms — which is a pretty good reason in itself to hide them away from human eyes.

    Nancy — Speaking of Popeye, I’ve long considered Sluggo to be one of the Sailor Man’s lost nephews: Peepeye, Poopeye, Pipeye and Pupeye. (Given Friday’s Marvin tie-in, I’m going to go with “Poopeye”!)

  2. Little Guy
    March 22nd, 2013 at 7:32 am [Reply]

    RMMD: “Thank you, God!” /Kid with Playboys in “Animal House”

  3. pugfuggly
    March 22nd, 2013 at 7:33 am [Reply]

    RMMD “Please honey, stop undressing so sexily, it’s distracting. I’m up to 5 habits already and I want to be highly effective by tomorrow.”

    MT “I sure hope your plans works, Mark. I mean for your sake. If Rusty’s found hurt or dead, I think you’re going to be up on some pretty serious charges…”

    H&l Black hearts? I guess whatever they’re thinking about doing, it counts as a mortal sin….

  4. Rocky Stoneaxe
    March 22nd, 2013 at 7:35 am [Reply]

    Soylent Orange Is People*.

    *If you define “people” as an ugly mutant boy with a propensity for being kidnapped.

  5. Liam
    March 22nd, 2013 at 7:36 am [Reply]

    RMMD-Rex can’t look at June when she is in her underwear or else he’ll freak out. Sure he is an adult, he just hasn’t been inducted into the Adult Conspiracy yet.

    Spiderman-From what I’ve seen it must tell you to get your ass kicked.

    MT-Mark, do you plan on killing Catfish?

    A3G-Is this Arlington or the cemetery for a local church? Arlington is a big massive spread out place and this place looks are cramped and bunched up.

    MW-”And my ideal is for you and Tom to become a couple.”

    Heathcliff-”Photobombing? Isn’t that something the young people do? Do they still do it? I’ll included to make us seem hip and down with it,” says the writer.

  6. Old Folkie
    March 22nd, 2013 at 7:37 am [Reply]

    First we had Neddy’s bra-less nipples, now we have June doing a strip-tease. The soft-porn contest between JP and RMMD is on!

    MT: How is Mark going to capture Catfish? Just dive in fully clothed with no equipment?

  7. BigTed
    March 22nd, 2013 at 7:37 am [Reply]

    Chip and his girlfriend are surrounded by tiny black hearts, underneath a tree with blackened leaves…. Watch out, Hi and Lois, that little hussy is a witch!

  8. Mumblix Grumph
    March 22nd, 2013 at 7:40 am [Reply]

    How do you know there is a naked lady around?
    Rex has his eyes glued to a book until the danger passes.

  9. Johnny Knuckles
    March 22nd, 2013 at 7:41 am [Reply]

    Rx Morgan: What’s that book Rx is smugly reading in panel two? I think he knows he has an audience and can’t resist taunting us. “That’s right, I’ve got a striptease happening right in front of me. But I think I’ll tuck into this antiquarian book of hours.”

  10. Mibbitmaker
    March 22nd, 2013 at 7:41 am [Reply]

    RMMD: “Okay!”, says Woody Wilson when a jealous Graham Nolan came to him after seeing the yet-unpublished Judge Parker strip (a couple days ago our time) detailing Neddy’s front. “Okay, I’ll write one for you… I can get it printed by March 22nd. Manley doesn’t totally have to show you up!” And today’s RMMD strip was born.

    Heathcliff:
    Well, Heathcliff is nothing if not reflective of the modern trends. Wait…. maybe I should just limit it to the first four words of that last sentence.

    MT: “I’ll just wait, like I said, then suddenly, out of nowhere, dive into the water from the boat. Rod would never suspect a thing….. right….? Darn, I’m an idiot!”

  11. Chareth Cutestory
    March 22nd, 2013 at 7:41 am [Reply]

    Heathcliff: In a town where the cops and robbers all wear the same shoes, who will be the one to stand up and walk a mile for justice?

    @Rocky Stoneaxe (#4): Soylent Orange… orange… rust-colored… Rusty!! Ugh, spit it out! Don’t consume his loser karma!

  12. KreatureFeatures
    March 22nd, 2013 at 7:41 am [Reply]

    Spiderman: Stan Lee once again manages to make the heroes less likeable than the villain.

  13. Calvin's Cardboard Box
    March 22nd, 2013 at 7:42 am [Reply]

    RMMD – OK, good marks for effort on the fanservice. I realize that June’s funtional underwear is realistic for a working mother. But, since when has realism been a factor in depicting the females from a Wilson strip? Given that we just finished an arc in which June spent the entire time in a tight swimsuit, you need to up your game a little higher than a J.C. Penney ensemble.

  14. Dood
    March 22nd, 2013 at 7:43 am [Reply]

    In a surprising upset, 12th-seeded Rex Morgan, M.D. defeated the strongly stacked fifth-seeded Judge Parker thanks to a cheeky late-game stripdown to advance to the round of 32.

  15. sully
    March 22nd, 2013 at 7:44 am [Reply]

    Bad as it may be, you gotta hand it to ol’ Heathcliff. He’s more ‘menacing’ than Dennis, he’s far more active and bizarre than Garfield (who may be somewhat slowed down by freakish kangaroo feet), and far less predictable than Marmaduke.
    The strip is at least twice as good as the aforementioned, thereby earning a solid 2 out of 10.

  16. The Right Venerable Pasdordan
    March 22nd, 2013 at 7:46 am [Reply]

    Rex Morgan, M.D.: Cor, blimey, I swear Rex has got better tits than June in that older strip. Five years later, she’s back to show that neddies aren’t the only thing that gets bigger when you’re pregnant.

  17. BigTed
    March 22nd, 2013 at 7:47 am [Reply]

    RMMD: Is that a large, uncovered bedroom window looking out on the house next door? I knew that little striptease June is doing couldn’t actually be for Rex’s benefit.

  18. pugfuggly
    March 22nd, 2013 at 7:47 am [Reply]

    ASM “My spidersense? It senses danger! Well, some of the time, anyhow. And it’s not very specific. I mean, it doesn’t really tell me where danger is coming from, or what it is, or what I should do about it. So, this truck with the radioactive waste that hit you…is is still around somewhere..?”

    A3G “Well, I turned it into a sweet story I can use to pick up chicks at graveyards! You doing anything, by the way? It’s happy hour at the legion hall.”

    C’shaft C’mon tree, if you topple right now you can take out Cranky and the entire Westview garden club!! The hilarious headlines alone would be worth it!

    MW Mary’s dinner discussion has now reached the Middle East Peace talk stage: “Ok, we may not all like romance novels, but can we all at least acknowledge their right to exist? Elinor, put down the fork….”

  19. Guts Dozier
    March 22nd, 2013 at 7:47 am [Reply]

    H&L: The floating black hearts are bleak commentary on the state of teenage love.

  20. Shran
    March 22nd, 2013 at 7:47 am [Reply]

    RMMD: Woohoo, fan service! Now this is why I read comics, goddammit! I only hope they don’t introduce it into the Funky-verse next. Batiuk’s idea of fan service will undoubtedly involve severe lacerations and other macabre horrors.

  21. Drewbear
    March 22nd, 2013 at 7:48 am [Reply]

    I know that the colorist in Hi & Lois couldn’t help the black hearts, since those came from the inker, but it still looks like they’re sharing a warm and tender moment of deep and abiding mutual loathing. “I hate you so much, shnookums.” “I hate you too, my little devil temptress.”

  22. nescio
    March 22nd, 2013 at 7:48 am [Reply]

    H&L: And an old man’s fancy turns to thoughts of being allowed in the same room as his off-putting cross-armed shrew of a wife.

  23. Rocky Stoneaxe
    March 22nd, 2013 at 7:50 am [Reply]

    Between 2008 and today’s strip, Rex has shaved off all of his chest and arm hair. Which makes me wonder how many other body parts Rex has used the business end of a razor on.

    He’s probably had a Brazilian Wax, too. ((SHUDDER))

  24. Shran
    March 22nd, 2013 at 7:51 am [Reply]

    Crankshaft: That’s right! The tree is much more important than you’ll ever be, Ed! I like this woman.

  25. nescio
    March 22nd, 2013 at 7:52 am [Reply]

    Alternate H&L: “I never thought it would happen, but maybe this year we’ll be featured in Black Bush magazine.”

  26. Perky Bird
    March 22nd, 2013 at 7:58 am [Reply]

    I’m glad Lois clarified that a young man’s fancy lightly turns to thoughts of love, or else the little black hearts would have made me assume his thoughts turned to advanced cardiac disease.

  27. Dood
    March 22nd, 2013 at 7:59 am [Reply]

    Mark Trail: Shorter: If the lure is glowing, Catfish is below-ing.

  28. Austria
    March 22nd, 2013 at 8:00 am [Reply]

    BB: Sarge keeps his cookies under Beetle’s bed. No further commentary.

    FC: This is delightful and all, but take a look at Mama Keane’s legs. The thigh-to-calf ratio seems a bit…disproportionate.

    FW: “NO!! …A guy in a mask?!”

    RMMD: Is this an attempt to show off June’s as-of-right-now-nonexistent baby bump? Or is that just the excuse? “No, angry parents, she isn’t stripping, she’s trying to examine her baby bump!” Nah, they just wanted to draw half-naked ladies.

  29. Droopy Says
    March 22nd, 2013 at 8:03 am [Reply]

    So what’s the plan with Trail? Will he get in the boat with Rod Bassy? Or will he count on Bassy returning to the spot where he made yesterday’s big catch? If Trail is ashore, is the light on the glowing lure bright enough for him to see during the daytime? Will Trail wear scuba gear as he dives after Catfish, or will he hold his breath during the dive? Can the Fists of Justice deal an effective blow underwater? And wouldn’t it make more sense to go after the van and free Rusty while Catfish is in the water, then call the cops?

  30. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    March 22nd, 2013 at 8:03 am [Reply]

    rCdS: win.

    GF: see, this is what the strip used to be like on a regular basis. Creator burn-out is an awful thing, especially witnessed in realtime.

    Lio: *snurk* Mr. Tatulli has been taking notes here, I see. ;-)

    Luann: c’mon, Bernice, just say “furiously masturbating” like we know you want to. We won’t judge.

    NAoQV: inspired silliness. I approve!

    SBp: no, no it is NOT. In a perfect world, that would be meats and mushrooms, with a side of merlot.

    Bizarro: he does like that piece of art.

    JUMBLE: compare and contrast to yDT!!!! also “a ‘hole’ lot of food” doesn’t fit. :-(

    MD&D: all that for a roaming gnome ‘gag’?!?! /facepalm o’fail.

    RwO: for Poteet. *gigglez*

    6Cx: I did not need to see that.

  31. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    March 22nd, 2013 at 8:03 am [Reply]

    Love Is . . . threesomes with Edda.

  32. Liam
    March 22nd, 2013 at 8:07 am [Reply]

    @Old Folkie (#6):
    Mark is going to dive into the water and hold Catfish’s head underwater until the last bubble pops.

  33. Écureuil Écumant
    March 22nd, 2013 at 8:09 am [Reply]

    Love is … supporting your honey’s secret desire to be the Nasonex bee, the most fucking obnoxious insect EVAH.

  34. Rusty
    March 22nd, 2013 at 8:10 am [Reply]

    Considering that he looks like Thursty’s bastard son, Chip always pulls in some quality arm candy.

  35. Col. Havoc
    March 22nd, 2013 at 8:12 am [Reply]

    SM: Now that’s just sad.

    Meanwhile, it appears that Meaning of Lila is on the same artwork calendar as RMMD.

  36. Frank Vox
    March 22nd, 2013 at 8:14 am [Reply]

    Spider-Man I imagine the heightened sense of smell must get annoying pretty fast.

  37. Perky Bird
    March 22nd, 2013 at 8:14 am [Reply]

    The look of glee on Peter’s face while explaining his spider-sense to Daredevil is like that of a little girl explaining at Show And Tell that her new Hello Kitty Bubble Blaster “shoots lots of pretty bubbles an’ they smell like strawberries an’ there’s a little pink light that blinks an’ it makes this cool WOOOOOT sound an’ it’s SOOO much better than the Barbie Bubble Gun ’cause that one doesn’t have as much purple glitter on it!”

  38. lorne
    March 22nd, 2013 at 8:14 am [Reply]

    “You know, Mark, if we suspect a child has been kidnapped by Bassy, the police would have probable cause to just search the van. I’m just saying because I suddenly pictured myself explaining your plan about glow-in-the dark lures and scuba-diving Catfish at a Coroner’s Inquest.”

  39. Calvin's Cardboard Box
    March 22nd, 2013 at 8:19 am [Reply]

    @Frank Vox (#36): Reminds me of the end of Walk Hard, when Dewey regains his sense of smell:

    “I can smell these flowers! I can smell … I can smell this horseshit! It smells ….. horrible!”

    “That’s it Dewey! Smell it! Smell that shit!!!”

  40. Jack Scat
    March 22nd, 2013 at 8:23 am [Reply]

    Hi and Lois “A young man’s fancy lightly turns to love.”

    Lightly? Lois must be gauging her understanding of youthful sexual inclinations based on Hi’s low testosterone fueled libido.

    I am betting if she, peruses Chip’s web browser history she will find web pages that may get her see firsthand the nature of her teen son’s hormone driven thoughts and to to recalculate the degree to how much Chip actually fancies them.

  41. Mibbitmaker
    March 22nd, 2013 at 8:25 am [Reply]

    9CL: Man? There are no “men” in 9CL (including its creator). Only technical male adult people and their sexy, sexy female betters.

    Crank: No, they’re saving stupidity.

    DT: Comic shops? Really?! The Jumble’s a comis strip panel, you idiot! And even then, not the kind to have a book collection of them housed in one of the better comic shops that sell strip collections in the first place! Jeez, Tracy, buy a clue already! (no offense intended, LUJBEM FEJE)

    FW: “TOM BATIUK?! What the hell are you doing here?!”

    MW: Oh, poopie!

    NS: Seriously, Jeffrey, haven’t you seen any of the Planet of the Apes movie series?!

  42. Hibbleton
    March 22nd, 2013 at 8:29 am [Reply]

    MW: Hannibal Lecter’s dinner party continues -only less functional grey matter.

    MT: “Sorry, Mark. That giant, Cheetos-eating duck just shit all over your breakfast.”

  43. Mibbitmaker
    March 22nd, 2013 at 8:34 am [Reply]

    “In the spring, a young man’s fancy lightly turns to thoughts of love. But his sex drive is all year ’round, baby!” — Albert Camus-sutra

    “All year ’round, a man or woman at any age — the sooner the better — their fancy BETTER DAMN WELL turn to thoughts of TWOO WUVNOW! Or else!”Mary Worth

  44. word-doctor
    March 22nd, 2013 at 8:35 am [Reply]

    RMMD: Keep going, Jane Gay (er, June Morgan), and our troops will kick El Q clear to Mongolia.

    MT: True story. My dad emailed me yesterday, excited that there will be some tree planting and habitat creation at a hunting area near his house. The guy who notified him? Wiley Buck.

  45. The Right Venerable Pasdordan
    March 22nd, 2013 at 8:36 am [Reply]

    The Amazing Spider-Man: “It senses danger, though it doesn’t tell me what to do about it. That’s why I’ve been molested more times than Rusty Trail. Right? Right?”

    “I can hear the crickets in Oakland, Parker.”

    Apt. 3-G: There once was a man who was quite keen
    to speak of his son the dead Marine:
    “It’s easy to turn the bad
    to good, or even quite rad.
    If ever you’ve heard of one Ed Gein.”

    9 Chickweed Lane: Actual sigh used every time I read this strip.

    Luann: So are Bernice and Delta eventually going to discover that they’re both not waiting for no ding-dang man, or what? And if so, can we please get on with it?

    Mark Trail: Unfortunately for Mark, Rod and Catfish have just switched over to a sonar-based lure. Rusty’s good as sold into white slavery in the northern part of the state, my friend.

    Mary Worth: Left unsaid by Mary and Tom: I’m visualizing bodice-ripping horn dog action with Fabio![*]

    Pibgorn: <BAKA GAIJIN TRIGGER WARNING>Why is “Where Are The Clowns” suddenly running through my head?</BAKA GAIJIN TRIGGER WARNING>

    Sinfest: I’ll admit it. If the movie were the Cis Sense, I’d watch it.

  46. sporknpork
    March 22nd, 2013 at 8:36 am [Reply]

    If the game “Tokyo Jungle” has taught me anything, Chip’s next generation will yield a small litter. Plus, he now has fleas.

  47. erdmann
    March 22nd, 2013 at 8:42 am [Reply]

    JP: As has been pointed out before, Randy and April are NOT eloping. To elope means that a couple slips away secretly to marry, usually without parental per…. Oh, to heck with it. Let’s just get back to the lovingly rendered depictions of Neddy’s boobs.

  48. Mibbitmaker
    March 22nd, 2013 at 8:42 am [Reply]

    @Mibbitmaker (#41): That should read “comic strip panel”.
    AAARRGHH!!! Well, FEJE, if my comment did offend you, with my typo, you’ve already gotten even!

  49. Ranger
    March 22nd, 2013 at 8:42 am [Reply]

    RM: Yeah, good job. Wait until June is pregnant to have her strip in front of us. She wouldn’t even wear that skimpy bikini.

    Cranky: Never have I wanted a tree to fall on a large group than I do now.

  50. Dennis Jimenez
    March 22nd, 2013 at 8:43 am [Reply]

    RMMD – Wow – this is bigger than when LuAnn called the plumber!!!

    Heathcliff – I wonder if that’s the camera the FBI used on President Clinton in the Paula Jones case….

    MT – What can I say – that cabin’s got some personality – it may not be much to look at, but it makes all its own curtains, cooks like chef, does decoupage and knits – anybody ought to be happy with a cabin like that….

    H&L – Actually, a young man’s thoughts turn to blow jobs – a middle aged man’s thoughts turn to a nice prime rib – an old man’s thoughts turn to a decent bowel movement….

    Adios Amigos, DJ.

  51. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    March 22nd, 2013 at 8:44 am [Reply]

    @queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#31): alt: dreaming of hooking up with her favorite “dancer.”

  52. Lawyerbob
    March 22nd, 2013 at 8:51 am [Reply]

    MT: “As he pulls in the big bass, I’ll go after Catfish.” Huh? Won’t Catfish be under water in his scuba gear, hooking the fish on Rod Bassy’s lure? Does that mean Mark is going to be scuba diving too, instead of taking this as the opportunity to look in the van? He’s going to wrestle underwater? Am I overthinking this, since the Fists O’ Justice are no doubt water resistant? “I sure hope your plan works” indeed.

    H&L: March looks nothing like that here in New England. Then again, neither does May.

  53. jim, some guy in iowa
    March 22nd, 2013 at 8:51 am [Reply]

    crankshaft: looking forward to the woodchipper scene, i am

    mary worth: that last panel needs the screaming rex morgan insert

    9cl: i looked up the cartoonist’s age. sixty-one. going on thirteen

    rex morgan: this is not the june that used to appear in the local newspaper. i’m not complaining

  54. Vanya
    March 22nd, 2013 at 8:53 am [Reply]

    @Mibbitmaker (#41):

    As I posted at the very end of the last thread, there has been one male McE character who has backbone, dignity, poise and the ability to talk to attractive women without turning into an incoherent idiot. One actual recognizable “man” among the delayed adolescents, the beefwits, the gay stereotypes and the Thoraxes.

    I refer, naturally, to Kiesl, the Austrian Wehrmacht officer.

    What that says about McE’s political and/or aesthetic leanings I will leave up to the reader to judge.

  55. Horace Broon
    March 22nd, 2013 at 8:57 am [Reply]

    ASM: Okay, is Stan in on the joke?

    Crank: “Don’t get the wrong idea, Ed. If this guy was just going to take a chainsaw to you, we’d all be fine with that.”

    GT: Is there a term for the phenomenon where you read three speech bubbles full of jargon you don’t understand, and by the end you’re no longer confident you know what “foul up” means?

    JP: Neddy automatically assumes, correctly, that Katherine was told Randy and April intended to elope. DOES NO-ONE IN THIS STRIP KNOW HOW ELOPING WORKS?

    Phantom: Oh, this is going to end well…

  56. Calvin's Cardboard Box
    March 22nd, 2013 at 9:01 am [Reply]

    @Vanya (#54):

    In a contra-positive to Godwin’s Law, by correctly referring to him as a Wehrmacht officer rather than going the usual, incorrect route of calling him a ‘Nazi’, you have won the argument!

    You are correct, I can’t recall him being reduced to a stammering adolescent at the sight of a little cleavage. Although, he does share the common trait of being unable to talk to a woman for two panels without it leading to them fucking on the floor in panel 3.

  57. Artist formerly known as Ben
    March 22nd, 2013 at 9:03 am [Reply]

    RMMD: Welcome to Striptease Friday, and may it become a long-standing tradition. Of course Rex doesn’t take any notice, but let’s just go on with the charade that he’s the father of June’s yet-to-be-born baby.

    MT: Those aren’t delicious hot-off-the-griddle pancakes! If Bluegill is trying to get Mark fighting mad, putting a bowl of mashed carrots in front of him is a pretty good start.

    Ziggy: “You’re not Heathcliff, asshole.”

    FW: Wait, I just got a flash. Mopey Pete pulls off the Lord of Late’s mask and finds out that he’s… Mopey Pete. In a way I hope I’m wrong, because I’m not sure I can handle anything that deep.

    9CL: Hey, someone at one of the neighboring tables has been scrawling musical notes on the wall in blood. Can we spend some time with them?

    Archie: “First thing you need to do is find yourself a good woman, one who’ll support you in all your efforts. Don’t waste your time on shallow social butterflies like this one. Sorry princess, but you know it’s true.”

    HtH: “Dude, I’m a Viking raider. Have you ever taken a look at my job description?”

    Phantom: Aw, how could Devil stay mad at a face like that? He couldn’t, especially not after seeing the results of past wolf v. lion one-on-ones.

    6C: “This whole first lesbian experience thing isn’t going how I’d hoped. I think I’ll go now.”

    DtM: If Mr. Wilson really wants to be mean he can challenge Dennis on the whole matter of whether he can count to 100.

    Marvin: And those aren’t even the worst landmines he lays down.

    Lockhorns: Martha in “Who’s Afraid of Virginia Woolf” at least took a sadistic glee in battering her husband’s ego (and vice versa.) Loretta looks like she’s barely checking in.

    A3G: By writing The Martian Chronicles, perhaps?

  58. Holly Folly
    March 22nd, 2013 at 9:03 am [Reply]

    Is Rex Morgans superpower his ability to talk without moving his lips?

  59. Digger
    March 22nd, 2013 at 9:04 am [Reply]

    Heathcliff: Whoever sells those bright yellow shoes is doing very well for himself.

  60. Nehemiah Scudder
    March 22nd, 2013 at 9:04 am [Reply]

    Love is…: The joy of having a child!

  61. TheDiva
    March 22nd, 2013 at 9:04 am [Reply]

    Heathcliff: And having reached the ears of the comic strip industry, “photobombing” is now officially passe.

    MT: Is Mary Worth cooking for Mark Trail now? Now there’s a crossover I’d pay to see…the unstoppable meddling matchmaker versus the immovable anti-libido! Who will emerge victorious?

    RMMD: Rare though it may be, this casual disrobing during conversation packs more erotic punch than a year of 9 Chickweed Lane. Quality, not quantity.

  62. Nehemiah Scudder
    March 22nd, 2013 at 9:07 am [Reply]

    Love is…: Growing with her spiritually!

  63. Liam
    March 22nd, 2013 at 9:07 am [Reply]

    FW-It’s head of DC Comics Dan Dido

    FW 2-It’s Old Man Whithers who runs the Haunted Amusement Park

  64. Illustrator Steve
    March 22nd, 2013 at 9:08 am [Reply]

    MT1 – Hey, hasn’t anyone noticed that the duck’s eye patch looks like a bikini? That or an old tractor seat.
    (in order to understand this smark please refer to yesterday’s comment #332 by bourbon babe, unbuckled.)

    MT2 – “As he pulls in the big bass, I’ll go after catfish!”

    “That’s great. Mark. The catfish in this lake are much better tasting than those mercury contaminated bass! So, Mark, do you plan on catching these catfish with your bare hands like they do on that reality show?”

    “Actually, Bluegill, I thought I might clench my bare hands and use my FISTS-O-JUSTICE ™ to catch THIS particular catfish!”

  65. Pozzo
    March 22nd, 2013 at 9:09 am [Reply]

    Well, butt cracks are definitely a step in the right direction. Now as soon as Rex finished speed-reading the Kama Sutra, the real action can start.

  66. Liam
    March 22nd, 2013 at 9:11 am [Reply]

    Love Is-A threesome with that cute ballerina.

  67. Nehemiah Scudder
    March 22nd, 2013 at 9:12 am [Reply]

    Love is…: Sharing the joys of three way sexfriendship!

    // Internet Belly Girl knows some weird old secrets… for weight loss, of course!

  68. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    March 22nd, 2013 at 9:12 am [Reply]

  69. Nehemiah Scudder
    March 22nd, 2013 at 9:15 am [Reply]

    @Liam (#66): I’d have used it if I could have found a good pic of the cheap dance gear woman.

  70. Illustrator Steve
    March 22nd, 2013 at 9:16 am [Reply]

    MT – Mark, if the water is clear enough while sitting in Rod’s boat today, WHY DON’T YOU SIMPLY POINT RUSTY’S CAMERA DOWN AT THE WATER AND TAKE SOME PICTURES OF CATFISH PUTTING THE DAMN BASS ON THE STUPID LINE!!? ….after that, cut the shit and GO FIND YOUR SON!

  71. Artist formerly known as Ben
    March 22nd, 2013 at 9:16 am [Reply]

    @Dennis Jimenez (#50): Re H&L: If your thoughts turn to each one of the three in succession, have you achieved agelessness?

  72. Rocky Stoneaxe
    March 22nd, 2013 at 9:20 am [Reply]

    Love is… giving birth to a THALIDOMIDE BABY.

    Seriously, are those stringy things supposed to be her arms? Or are they part of her hair?

  73. Artist formerly known as Ben
    March 22nd, 2013 at 9:21 am [Reply]

    @Holly Folly (#58): What’s really impressive is when he talks while June drinks a glass of water.

  74. Liam
    March 22nd, 2013 at 9:22 am [Reply]

    MW-So in Mary’s vision of reality the men are all well muscled with washboard abs? I guess that’s why she keeps refusing Jeff’s proposals.

    A3G-”I left my wife to stir in the insanity that her grief created and I hooked up with a young blonde that I found walking through the cemetery one day.”

    A3G 2-Why do I get the feeling that taxidermy is involved? This guy looks like the sort of person who pick up random people using the nice old man schtick and then kills them and stuffs them.

  75. NonnyMus
    March 22nd, 2013 at 9:27 am [Reply]

    Re: Rex Morgan – Great. Now all the adolescents-grown-old will be having a field day over at Comics Kingdom.

  76. TheDiva
    March 22nd, 2013 at 9:30 am [Reply]

    9CL: Red notes on the wall? So this date’s taking place in the Phantom of the Opera’s house. (Which, on the plus side, greatly increases the chances of these two dying in a horrific manner…)

    A3G: “I turned my son’s corpse into furniture! Would you like to see?”

    C’shaft: Also on the list of things people value more than Crankshaft: grass, mosquitoes, viruses.

    FW: POP QUIZ: The Lord of the Late’s secret identity is:
    A) Les Moore
    B) Crankshaft
    C) Old Man Withers
    D) Josh

    MW: That’s so cool–you can barely see Mary’s lips move when Tom talks!

    Phantom: *romantic music swells*

    Pibgorn: A Brooke McEldowney character in charge of the afterlife? Suddenly unknowing oblivion sounds like a pretty sweet deal.

    SM: “Also it only seems to work when the plot demands it, and it doesn’t tell me what kind of danger I’m sensing so it’s kind of…hey, where are you going?”

  77. Liam
    March 22nd, 2013 at 9:33 am [Reply]

    Heathcliff-How about car bombing? Is that still allowed?

  78. Artist formerly known as Ben
    March 22nd, 2013 at 9:35 am [Reply]

    @Perky Bird (#26): The black hearts could also be a sign that Chip is a Joan Jett fan.

  79. Government Cheese
    March 22nd, 2013 at 9:36 am [Reply]

    MW: Oh, my! Hans Landa wants to read your book, Beth!

    A3G: This guy has definitely been walking around Arlington with his pants down; there are too many innuendos to ignore.

    Heathcliff: Why are they taking mugshots in a high school auditorium?

    Luann: “At least I’m doing something meaningful!” Yeah, like putting mustard on your hands for no reason? The soap dispenser is in the restroom, Delta.

  80. Calvin's Cardboard Box
    March 22nd, 2013 at 9:41 am [Reply]

    @TheDiva (#76): Re: PIB

    The whole self-righteous condemnation and sentencing scene just comes across as empty. We are supposed to rely on our memory of the original story Brooke has just finished shredding in order to have any stake in what happens to the victim here. Otherwise, he’s just some withered old man who I am supposed to feel such hatred for that I rejoice in seeing him sentenced to eternal torture.

  81. Perky Bird
    March 22nd, 2013 at 9:41 am [Reply]

    @Artist formerly known as Ben (#78): Bwahahahaha! So true–we do know that Kids These Days do love the Rock and/or Roll Music!

  82. Calvin's Cardboard Box
    March 22nd, 2013 at 9:43 am [Reply]

    @Calvin’s Cardboard Box (#80): Otherwise, he’s just some withered old man who I am supposed to feel such hatred for that I rejoice in seeing him sentenced to eternal torture.

    Yeah, what is this, Crankshaft?

    (Oh for an Edit function)

  83. Liam
    March 22nd, 2013 at 9:43 am [Reply]

    Rex Morgan-”But I’m a wife and mother.”

  84. Sequitur
    March 22nd, 2013 at 9:43 am [Reply]

    @The Right Venerable Pasdordan (#45):

    <BAKA GAIJIN TRIGGER WARNING>Why is “Where Are The Clowns” suddenly running through my head?<BAKA GAIJIN TRIGGER WARNING>

    Last night I was channel surfing when I came across a Spanish station doing an interview show. The interviewer was dressed in a full clown outfit, makeup and all. He was interviewing one of those Mexican wrestlers in a full head mask. The first thing I thought was “I hope Baka Gaijin doesn’t run across this.”

    Baka, you’ve gotten into our psyches.

  85. Illustrator Steve
    March 22nd, 2013 at 9:45 am [Reply]

    MT – To draw attention to the judges about Rod Bassy’s cheating, maybe Mark should chain himself to Rod Bassy’s boat the same way Crankshaft draws attention to hmself by chaining himself to trees the way Rusty draws attention to himself by tieing himself up in vans until somebody finally takes him fishing!
    ….better yet, maybe Mark should just say the hell with this whole story line and go fishing with Crankshaft!

  86. Amos Snarkadder, CQB
    March 22nd, 2013 at 9:46 am [Reply]

    MW “How can we turn our ideals into reality unless we create our vision of it first?”
    Josef Stalin, Before Photoshop and Other Darkroom Tricks, 1949

  87. Jasper
    March 22nd, 2013 at 9:48 am [Reply]

    RMMD- Thank you! June Morgan is one of my favorite vixens of the comics pages and I’ll take anything I can get. This makes up a little for the microkini tease we got 3 months ago. The ass crack is much appreciated. Next panel please, June bending over taking her panties off.
    I can’t help but to shudder that I noticed limp dicked Rex’s hairless, nippleless chest.

  88. Shran
    March 22nd, 2013 at 9:48 am [Reply]

    @TheDiva (#76): “FW: POP QUIZ: The Lord of the Late’s secret identity is:
    A) Les Moore
    B) Crankshaft
    C) Old Man Withers
    D) Josh”

    Come on, we all know it’s going to be the Holy, Blessed St. Dead Lisa. Who else could it be?

  89. Illustrator Steve
    March 22nd, 2013 at 9:51 am [Reply]

    MT – “Here is that radioactive toxic yellow paste you asked me to mix up for you to pour through the vent opening on Rod Bassy’s van, Mark. Once activated by pouring, it will turn everything within fifteen feet to dust.”

    “THANK,S, Bluegill!”

    “Um, You really think Rusty is still inside that van, huh, Mark?”

    “Yes, I am SURE of it!”.

    “I sure hope your plan works, Mark!”

    “I DO TOO!”

  90. teenchy
    March 22nd, 2013 at 9:52 am [Reply]

    MT: Orange mush? Sure that’s not orange mo(u)sse?

  91. revenge4Aldo
    March 22nd, 2013 at 9:52 am [Reply]

    @Drewbear (#21): @nescio (#25): Oddly enough, Rex Morgan was thinking the same thing.

  92. Sequitur
    March 22nd, 2013 at 9:54 am [Reply]

    @Shran (#88): The identity will probably be GOD from Zippy the Pinhead if not Zippy himself.

    Am I right Nehemiah?

  93. The Ridger
    March 22nd, 2013 at 9:54 am [Reply]

    SS: Okay, maybe I’m crazy, but … since they live next door to the kids whose parents are on vacation, wouldn’t it make more sense for one of them (grandma, probably) to sleep next door with them, so everyone can stay in their own room, instead of moving some into mom’s room and tripling up the others? It’s next door.

  94. mom2homer
    March 22nd, 2013 at 9:54 am [Reply]

    RMMD: I suspect the strip tease is just to distract readers from whatever is under the covers with Rex (his legs? cats? …?).

  95. Government Cheese
    March 22nd, 2013 at 9:55 am [Reply]

    MT: It appears that Mark went to the same culinary academy that Mary Worth went to.

  96. Sequitur
    March 22nd, 2013 at 9:57 am [Reply]

    @teenchy (#90): I like how they’re celebrating the color orange in a black and white commercial.

  97. The Ridger
    March 22nd, 2013 at 9:57 am [Reply]

    MT: I know the glorious plumage of the wood drake is beyond the colorists, but to reduce it to this unimaginative and unnatural green and brown? Crime against Nature! And in Mark Trail, too!

  98. Liam
    March 22nd, 2013 at 9:59 am [Reply]

    MT-Remember the most important thing here is that Mark catches Rod cheating. Who cares that he has kidnapped Rusty.

  99. Illustrator Steve
    March 22nd, 2013 at 9:59 am [Reply]

    @Sequitur (#84): That late night TV show was probably, “Es el Zippy Pinhead el Slon!” (“The Zippy the Pinhead Show!”), live from Havana.

  100. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    March 22nd, 2013 at 10:00 am [Reply]

    for more of the sexxxay, check out the Janis Dance of Spring on the Arlo&Janis blog.

  101. Illustrator Steve
    March 22nd, 2013 at 10:00 am [Reply]

    @Illustrator Steve (#99): El “Salon”, not “Slon”!

  102. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    March 22nd, 2013 at 10:01 am [Reply]

    @Shran (#88): nah, it will be Mopey Pete’s shlubby visage peering back at him, as if from a mirror darkly.

  103. Doctor Handsome
    March 22nd, 2013 at 10:02 am [Reply]

    Did Hi & Lois home-invade some rich people just to spy on Chip’s date? I don’t remember their neighborhood looking anything like that.

  104. Illustrator Steve
    March 22nd, 2013 at 10:04 am [Reply]

    @The Ridger (#97): Say, doesn’t that eye patch look sort of like a bikini?

  105. Sequitur
    March 22nd, 2013 at 10:05 am [Reply]

    @Illustrator Steve (#101): Sí. And that eyepatch sort of looks like a bikini.

  106. The Right Venerable Pasdordan
    March 22nd, 2013 at 10:10 am [Reply]

    @Sequitur (#92): I must admit, I’d buy a t-shirt with Zippy’s God on it.

  107. bats :[
    March 22nd, 2013 at 10:10 am [Reply]

    @Horace Broon (#55): re Phantom: *gasp* It’s as if you can read my mind!

  108. Mikey
    March 22nd, 2013 at 10:10 am [Reply]

  109. bbofun
    March 22nd, 2013 at 10:12 am [Reply]

    9CL- -1)So, I guess Sven is suddenly, again, the naive (stupid) country bumpkin he was at the beginning of this arc. Remember, kids, character traits can be dropped and picked up again as the plot demands!
    2)It appears my supposition of yesterthread was correct- “ass” was the word Sven was trying not to say, not “breasts” (or even “body”). There is, as often true with Brooke, an actual comic point to be made here- it is nearly impossible to directly complement a woman’s behind without it sounding crude, as opposed to her legs, or even, her breasts. There’s simply no word that sounds proper, but not either crude, juvenile, or pretentious (the problem with pretentious- let’s say choosing “derriere”- is it just sounds like you’re trying not to say “ass”).

    Pib- No. No, those were not the last words of Scheherazade. Those were the words of a pretentious twit, who totally misunderstood the point of the story- and don’t give me any malarkey about “re-interpreting” it, because I ain’t havin’ it. If you re-interpret a story, it should be to shed light on a facet of the story that’s lost to modern audiences, or to illuminate some contemporary theme that there is a suggestion of in the original, or to deal with an aspect of the original which no longer seems correct (say, the antisemitism is The Merchant of Venice). All McEldowney’s done is dumbed-down the story, making the heroine not a woman who uses her intelligence finds a way to save her sister and others from death, while simultaneously showing her king that it’s possible for him to love after he was betrayed by his wife, but instead just a vigilante, who can’t even come up with stories of her own, and who’s so dumb she apparently doesn’t realize that she would have saved just as many women by killing him the first night!

    Whew, sorry- I apparently put my righteous rant setting to “overload” this morning.

  110. Mikey
    March 22nd, 2013 at 10:12 am [Reply]

    @Lawyerbob (#52): More likely it’ll be an above ground chase scene with Catfish lumbering about in the scuba gear. Think Benny Hill show closing (cue Yakkity Sax!)

  111. Artist formerly known as Ben
    March 22nd, 2013 at 10:14 am [Reply]

    @Government Cheese (#79):

    Heathcliff: Why are they taking mugshots in a high school auditorium?

    To free up the police station for yearbook photos, obviously.

  112. pugfuggly
    March 22nd, 2013 at 10:17 am [Reply]

    @Lawyerbob (#52):

    MT: “As he pulls in the big bass, I’ll go after Catfish.” Huh? Won’t Catfish be under water in his scuba gear, hooking the fish on Rod Bassy’s lure? Does that mean Mark is going to be scuba diving too, instead of taking this as the opportunity to look in the van? He’s going to wrestle underwater? Am I overthinking this, since the Fists O’ Justice are no doubt water resistant? “I sure hope your plan works” indeed.

    Silly man! Mark doesn’t need to get wet when he can call upon the fish and otters and whatnot to do the deed for him. Swim, my pretties! Swim and attack the man who has wronged your nature-loving friend!

  113. Sequitur
    March 22nd, 2013 at 10:19 am [Reply]

    @bbofun (#109): We could have avoided all this awkwardness if Sven had just said, “Yowza!”

  114. Stroker Ace
    March 22nd, 2013 at 10:20 am [Reply]

    H&L – Grandparents by Christmas. Nice work Chip.

  115. bats :[
    March 22nd, 2013 at 10:20 am [Reply]

  116. Artist formerly known as Ben
    March 22nd, 2013 at 10:21 am [Reply]

    @mom2homer (#94):

    RMMD: I suspect the strip tease is just to distract readers from whatever is under the covers with Rex (his legs? cats? …?).

    If you think I’m going to make a pussy joke you are sadly mistaken! [/Buddy Cole]

  117. Nehemiah Scudder
    March 22nd, 2013 at 10:21 am [Reply]

    @Artist formerly known as Ben (#78): @Perky Bird (#81): Chip’s definitely into the old stuff… Remember a couple weeks age we saw his bedroom with the Led Zeppelin and Bob Dylan posters?

  118. Dood
    March 22nd, 2013 at 10:25 am [Reply]

    Rex Morgan, M.D.: So, if I understand this sexytime dialog correctly, Rex calls his thingie “Milton” and June’s hoo-hah is “Heather”?

  119. Nehemiah Scudder
    March 22nd, 2013 at 10:26 am [Reply]

    @Sequitur (#92): @Shran (#88): The identity will probably be GOD from Zippy the Pinhead if not Zippy himself. Am I right Nehemiah?

    I’ve got Count Weirdly in my office pool, but I’m not counting my winnings yet.

  120. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    March 22nd, 2013 at 10:26 am [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#117): “Chip’s definitely into the old stuff… ”

    Chip, meet Mrs. Duncan.

    don’t mind the purple shirt, it’s all part of the fantasy.

  121. LUJBEM FEJF
    March 22nd, 2013 at 10:26 am [Reply]

    @Mibbitmaker (#41): No offense taken. I like the cut of your jib. Now take this nickle and go buy me the latest Action Comic book.

  122. Nehemiah Scudder
    March 22nd, 2013 at 10:30 am [Reply]

    @The Right Venerable Pasdordan (#106): @Sequitur (#92): I must admit, I’d buy a t-shirt with Zippy’s God on it.

    You are in luck!

  123. Herr Kommissar Denny
    March 22nd, 2013 at 10:31 am [Reply]

    MW: Wait, is Beth actually Honey from Doonesbury? Does that mean Elinor is Duke in drag?

    MW 2: Bleach his hair white, and Tom would look just like Mary Worth.

    MW 3: Wait, I thought they were having dinner in Mary’s condo, but panel indicates they’re in a Chinese high-rise built sometime during the Great Leap Forward.

    MW 4: Bowl-cut, horn-rims … what are the chances Beth’s novel is meant to be appreciated ironically?

  124. DrBear
    March 22nd, 2013 at 10:32 am [Reply]

    They should have run that RMMD strip on March 20, the first day of SCHWINNNG!

  125. bbofun
    March 22nd, 2013 at 10:33 am [Reply]

    McEldowney-free snark ahead-

    ASM- “It senses danger! Though it doesn’t tell me what to do about it! so most of the time I ignore it, and just get knocked out! It’s really pretty much useless! But it’s mine! I have it! It’s totally a real thing! Hey, can you smell what I had for breakfast? I’m sensing danger right now! I don’t know what from, though! Why are you raising your cane in the air? Boy, I wish I knew what my spider-sense was warning me about! That’s a nice cane, by the way! Where did you”-*THUNK*

    “Sometimes super-hearing is a curse.”

    A3G- “In my case, it was easy. See, I’m a taxidermist, so I just stuffed and mounted my son and keep him at home. Got rid of the grief right away, let me tell you! And finding companions for him keeps me busy, I must say. You have very nice skin.”

    Cranky- Honestly, the only way this arc can pay off that I’d approve of is if they succeed in “saving” the tree, only for there to be a huge storm, and it falls and lands on the house. Now, THAT’S comedy!

    JP- So, other than shots of Neddy’s nips, this whole week has just been reiterating the plot from the past month. I’m okay with that.

    RMMD- June needs to pay closer attention to what Rex is saying if she wants to get any- he’s obviously suggesting a three-way with the nanny.

  126. Nehemiah Scudder
    March 22nd, 2013 at 10:34 am [Reply]

    @bats :[ (#107): Oh, topnotch!

  127. The Right Venerable Pasdordan
    March 22nd, 2013 at 10:35 am [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#122): I knew as soon as I said that someone would find me one. And I knew it would be you, Scudder.

    <Cue “Godfather” theme>

  128. SF_Reader
    March 22nd, 2013 at 10:36 am [Reply]

    MT – “…bowl of orange mush in Rusty’s honor.” Phew! I thought he was emptying last night’s chamber pots.

  129. seismic-2
    March 22nd, 2013 at 10:36 am [Reply]

    H&L: “They should move Valentine’s Day to May! I’m always in the doghouse when I forget it every February, but it would be easy to remember if they combine it with Memorial Day! Then, I’ll bet I would really get lucky when I try my trick of trolling Arlington Cemetery for grieving war widows!”

  130. But What Do I Know?
    March 22nd, 2013 at 10:46 am [Reply]

    GT — Well, judging by that last sentence, you’re going to lead the league in errors–grammatical errors!!!

    JP — Yeah, Neddy just flew in from Paris to talk over dinner, but there’s no way that the Parker clan can make it to Mexico for a wedding. . .

    Cranky — This is just the Garden Club’s way of forcing Crankshaft to stand out in the elements longer, in the hope that he’ll contract pneumonia. . .

  131. Rocky Stoneaxe
    March 22nd, 2013 at 10:50 am [Reply]

    @mom2homer (#94): RMMD: I suspect the strip tease is just to distract readers from whatever is under the covers with Rex (his legs? cats? …?).

    On his last trip to San Francisco, Rex bought the last remaining public “Doggie Diner” doggie at auction:

    http://www.zazzle.com/the_doggie_t_shirt-235013117871604778

  132. Amos Snarkadder, CQB
    March 22nd, 2013 at 10:51 am [Reply]

    Luann Will someone please sponsor Bernice at band camp?

  133. Sequitur
    March 22nd, 2013 at 10:53 am [Reply]

    I got a slow browser today so everytime I refresh this blog it hangs at the top with the Rex Morgan strip (and I do mean strip) showing for several seconds.

    Normally I wouldn’t complain but I’m at work.

  134. Mikey
    March 22nd, 2013 at 11:00 am [Reply]

    ASW: “It senses danger! Though it doesn’t tell me what to.. BRICK!!! UNNgghhh….”

  135. a
    March 22nd, 2013 at 11:07 am [Reply]

    Actually, I’m pretty sure teenagers have sex in the winter, too.

  136. Herr Kommissar Denny
    March 22nd, 2013 at 11:15 am [Reply]

    @a (#135): Indeed. If one looks at the birthdays of babies born to teen mothers and counts back nine months, you find they were often conceived on snow days.

  137. Alan
    March 22nd, 2013 at 11:19 am [Reply]

    Wait, why is Chip making a fist? I’m not entirely comfortable with this new abusive boyfriend storyline, Hi and Lois!

  138. seismic-2
    March 22nd, 2013 at 11:25 am [Reply]

    @Herr Kommissar Denny (#136): And if Mary Jane Parker has a baby, we can count back nine months and figure that Peter had already been in Las Vegas for a week. Of course, that should also be evident from the baby’s adamantium claws.

  139. ralph
    March 22nd, 2013 at 11:32 am [Reply]

    H & L: Chip does seem to come up with the cutest high school girls in comics. She doesn’t quite look legal though, which brings up the question of just how old Chip is supposed to be. Since there has been a certain amount of crabbing about Sven and Fleurrie supposedly behaving like juveniles, I would point out that Chip and his young friend seem to be relating just fine. (Which would then lead to my standard observation that when something is labeled “adult” it usually means that it is adolescent, but I’ll let it go.)
    9CL: I don’t see how he can be complimenting Fleurrie on her ass when none of the women in this strip have one. In theory, I don’t see how she can be upset since (a) she knew he was a clumsy socially maladroit oaf to start with, and (b) she dressed to be sexually showstopping, but she’s female, so it doesn’t matter. Tread carefully, Sven, or you may be going home alone. Not that that’s necessarily a bad thing in this case. And, please, no snake-face.

  140. DaveyK
    March 22nd, 2013 at 11:36 am [Reply]

    Hi and Lois strikes me as an little more than an excuse by a pedantic crank to prove that he, and he alone, knows that this popularized quote has been bastardized by generations who forget it includes the word “lightly”.

  141. Nehemiah Scudder
    March 22nd, 2013 at 11:39 am [Reply]

    @The Right Venerable Pasdordan (#127): Thank you, Rt. Ven.. One endeavors to give satisfaction.

  142. The Diceman
    March 22nd, 2013 at 11:41 am [Reply]

    MW — Tom wants to read Beth’s book, huh? Is that what the kids are calling it these days?

  143. Little Guy
    March 22nd, 2013 at 11:42 am [Reply]

    RMMD: “*sighs* Okay, June. This time, you be Andrea and I’ll be the Governor.”

  144. Amos Snarkadder, CQB
    March 22nd, 2013 at 11:46 am [Reply]

    @But What Do I Know? (#130):

    This is just the Garden Club’s way of forcing Crankshaft to stand out in the elements longer, in the hope that he’ll contract pneumonia. . .

    Yeah, there are consequences for too much exposure…

  145. seismic-2
    March 22nd, 2013 at 11:51 am [Reply]

    I kind of like the idea of Crankshaft’s being chained to a log, if it lets him be the big loser in the upcoming raccoon fight. And I really like it, if he’s lost the key to that padlock.

  146. Artist formerly known as Ben
    March 22nd, 2013 at 11:57 am [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#117): That was my thinking, yes. In fact Joan Jett may be a little on the late side to be one of Chip’s hero(in)es. The Walker-Browne people correctly note that teens are often into music and other pop culture from the past, in part because not all of their peers will know about it. What they miss is that if Chip is supposed to be a teenager in 2013, that past would cover the eighties, and conceivably up to Nirvana/early Weezer.

  147. The Ridger
    March 22nd, 2013 at 11:59 am [Reply]

    @mom2homer (#94): Dear lord I didn’t even notice that (so the distraction worked). That bed is incredibly long or Rex is very small. Either way, what IS that at the foot under the covers? Niki?

  148. Herr Kommissar Denny
    March 22nd, 2013 at 12:00 pm [Reply]

    @seismic-2 (#145): What’s more, I’m looking forward future stories where Crankshaft gets trapped under a car on the beach as the tide rolls in, kidnapped by puppy nappers, kidnapped by bank robbers, kidnapped by bass pros, and ignored and neglected by his family — wait, that last one is already in effect.

  149. Artist formerly known as Ben
    March 22nd, 2013 at 12:03 pm [Reply]

    @bbofun (#125): Rex wants his menage scored with the distinctive sound of Fran Drescher’s laughter? I suppose he’s rich enough to get away with such an eccentricity.

  150. Illustrator Steve
    March 22nd, 2013 at 12:12 pm [Reply]

    MT – “Here’s yer breakfast, Mark. Come and get it!”

    “WHAT the hell is THAT supposed to be?”

    “ARE YOU ACCUSING ME OF NOT KNOWING HOW TO MAKE PANCAKES!?”

  151. Illustrator Steve
    March 22nd, 2013 at 12:20 pm [Reply]

    CRANKSHAFT – “You are an inspiration to all of us by being such an outspoken activist by protesting against the establishment when they try to tell you what to do with trees on your own property, Crankshaft.”

    “Huh? I’m only out here because of that damn fool Rusty Trail kid that chained me to a tree when all I wanted to do was take a closer LOOK at his old camera.God dammed kid must have thought I was gonna kidnap him or something!!!”

  152. Alter Ego
    March 22nd, 2013 at 12:21 pm [Reply]

    love is… when she dreams of becoming a beautiful ballerina… and so does he.

  153. Illustrator Steve
    March 22nd, 2013 at 12:26 pm [Reply]

    KK – How ’bout those Katzinjammer Kids? Boy, ain’t they sumpthin? Not a lick o’ sense between the two of ‘em!
    (Just something different to smark about instead of the same old same old, eh, Rocky Stoneaxe?)

  154. Liam
    March 22nd, 2013 at 12:32 pm [Reply]

    Blondie-I better make sure Alexander is in bed with his new girlfriend.

  155. Illustrator Steve
    March 22nd, 2013 at 12:36 pm [Reply]

    MT – “Hello, Cherry? Hi, It’s Mark…MARK! Huh? It’s MARK TRAIL!! Yeah, I’m sorry to have to tell you this, Cherry, but I’ve missplaced Rusty and I think he may have been kidnapped again…but the good news is that I found his camera! I’lltell ya,Cherry, you can’t take your eyes off of that damn kid for more than a second or he’ll go and get himself kidnapped! Looks like that little shit needs constant supervision, Cherry!”

    “ARE YOU TRYING TO ACCUSE ME OF NOT BEING THERE WITH YOU TO WATCH RUSTY!? …DAD, MARK IS TRYING TO ACCUSE ME OF NOT WATCHING RUSTY!”

    “NO! He’s probably outside!”

  156. Nehemiah Scudder
    March 22nd, 2013 at 12:37 pm [Reply]

    @Illustrator Steve (#153): Mutt & Jeff: So, Mutt really fixed Jeff’s ticket, eh? Good thing he knows old Judge “Dick” Grump! — That’s what the kids are calling it these days!

  157. Liam
    March 22nd, 2013 at 12:38 pm [Reply]

    RMMD-Hello, Nurse!

  158. Liam
    March 22nd, 2013 at 12:39 pm [Reply]

    MT-”I do too. Do you have any idea how hard it is to find an abuse child to adopt and then to spend all your time neglecting it?”

  159. Calico
    March 22nd, 2013 at 12:41 pm [Reply]

    I really like those black hearts in H & L.
    Just wait, you boring / bored suburbanites. Just wait.

    RM – Thanx, Wilson/Nolan!

    MT – Where are the marshmallows for the candied yams, yo?

  160. Sequitur
    March 22nd, 2013 at 12:41 pm [Reply]

    @Illustrator Steve (#153): Oh, yeah. And doesn’t that one kid’s bow tie kind of look like an eye patch?

  161. Calico
    March 22nd, 2013 at 12:44 pm [Reply]

    RM : Breasts :: MT : Candied Yams

    (Did I do that right? It’s been 89 years since I’ve taken any test with this comparison format thingy)

    : D

  162. Alter Ego
    March 22nd, 2013 at 12:45 pm [Reply]

    @Écureuil Écumant (#33): The Nanosex bee!? That sounds… Oh, “Nasonex” bee. Never mind.

  163. Rocky Stoneaxe
    March 22nd, 2013 at 12:50 pm [Reply]

    @Illustrator Steve (#153): KK – How ’bout those Katzinjammer Kids? Boy, ain’t they sumpthin? Not a lick o’ sense between the two of ‘em! (Just something different to smark about instead of the same old same old, eh, Rocky Stoneaxe?)

    Sounds good to me, Steve. Now we can talk about whether or not Mama Katzenjammer was ever married to Der Captain!

  164. Artist formerly known as Ben
    March 22nd, 2013 at 12:55 pm [Reply]

    @Liam (#154): Wow, who isn’t getting in on the “Sexy Friday” action?

  165. Baka Gaijin
    March 22nd, 2013 at 12:56 pm [Reply]

    By the strained looks on everyone’s faces at Mary Worth’s table, they all know there’s an elephant in the room. No one will say what they’re all thinking: Elinor is crushing our buzzes. Or her Depends has sprung a leak. Or the food could be used as a tactical weapon.

  166. Liam
    March 22nd, 2013 at 12:57 pm [Reply]

    MT-What will you do if he pulls in small bass?

  167. Shran
    March 22nd, 2013 at 1:01 pm [Reply]

  168. tallyHO
    March 22nd, 2013 at 1:06 pm [Reply]

    Mark Trail:

    All that intense planning and carrot stew? Bluegill and Mark are multi-tasking heros. Here that Spider-Man?

    He! Roes!

    //oh noes! It is too early in the morning for Jesus puns!

  169. Calvin's Cardboard Box
    March 22nd, 2013 at 1:07 pm [Reply]

    OOTS (New today!) – So Belkar has been bitten by two different vampires. WHY ISN’T HE A VAMPIRE NOW? And if he still has the bleeding wounds on his face from the bites, why aren’t his companions worried about this?

  170. tallyHO
    March 22nd, 2013 at 1:09 pm [Reply]

    Spider-Man:

    Peter has had a difficult life. Sometimes, the wear and tear by crazy clowns, brick throwers and monkey antics takes its toll and it shows.

  171. Liam
    March 22nd, 2013 at 1:11 pm [Reply]

    MT-Little Rod Bassy sat in a corner eating his Christmas fish. Stuck in his thumb and pulled out a plum and said, “Are you accusing me of cheating?”

  172. tallyHO
    March 22nd, 2013 at 1:13 pm [Reply]

    Hi & Lois:

    In Hi’s drug addled mind, April Showers bring May Potstravaganzas, Dude!

    He’s just living for May to happen. For him it is the start of both grilling season and of getting baked season.

  173. BeckoningChasm
    March 22nd, 2013 at 1:14 pm [Reply]

    Good lord, why are the hearts black in Hi and Lois?

  174. tcreole
    March 22nd, 2013 at 1:16 pm [Reply]

    Hi & Lois:

    Lois: “Move Valentine’s Day to May? What are you talking about? Why?”
    Hi: “So it’ll be next to Mother’s Day, which will remind them about the consequences of unprotected sex! THAT’LL keep the little horn-dogs from getting naked like that tramp who lives with that nice Dr. Morgan!”

  175. tallyHO
    March 22nd, 2013 at 1:20 pm [Reply]

    Mary Worth:

    The Blond Melancholy looking dude on the couch (shudder) sitting next to (shudder) Mary!:

    “I used to consider myself quite the book worm until I decided to legally change my name to Book Boaconstrictor! Though, you, bespeckled, hen-pecked lady, can call me Mr. Fan-tastic (for my legendary powers of badly mixing metaphors and bragging about my sexual prowess– or as my ex-wife liked to say: My Giveitarestitude).”

  176. Herr Kommissar Denny
    March 22nd, 2013 at 1:22 pm [Reply]

    @seismic-2 (#138): Either that or there was a Judge Judy marathon on.

  177. tallyHO
    March 22nd, 2013 at 1:25 pm [Reply]

    Slylock Fox’s Early Morning, Hangover Induced Hallucination of the Week

    Oh my God! That early bird is sitting on someone’s shoulder! Run! Run! They’ve decided to start deveining us all!

  178. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    March 22nd, 2013 at 1:28 pm [Reply]

    @Calvin’s Cardboard Box (#169): he wasn’t killed nor fully drained. Durkon’s Ward spell might have had something to do with as well, but I haven’t played D&D since it was AD&D, and Madonna was still Like a Virgin.

    on the webcomic side of things, I just want to mention that today’s QC was unbearable squee, and amazingly well drawn as far as Claire’s facial expressions go.

  179. bats :[
    March 22nd, 2013 at 1:29 pm [Reply]

  180. TheDiva
    March 22nd, 2013 at 1:31 pm [Reply]

    @Calvin’s Cardboard Box (#169): *delete delete delete* What queek said. As for the other half of your question…well, he’s Belkar. Showing empathy for him isn’t the easiest thing in the world.

  181. Calico
    March 22nd, 2013 at 1:31 pm [Reply]

    MW – Ah, I see they have already exterminated Elinor and disposed of her a la one of those dudes in Dorian Gray. Ugh.

    Meanwhile, Curtis tries to fight against the Soylent Green he’s being served for lunch most days.

  182. Chip Whittle
    March 22nd, 2013 at 1:32 pm [Reply]

    Agnes: I’m not hallucinating this week, right? The strip is doing a pretty snarky week on religion in field mice? It’s really happening?

    It feels so weird being unable to believe what I’m reading in a strip that isn’t Mark Trail, Mary Worth, Apartment 3-G, Spider-Man, Heathcliff, Crock, Mark Trail (it’s been really hard to believe in lately), Curtis, Locher-Era Dick Tracy, Popeye, or Mark Trail.

  183. Calico
    March 22nd, 2013 at 1:35 pm [Reply]

    @Chip Whittle (#182):
    Saint Francis of Assisi would wholeheartedly approve.

    “Little Bunny Foo Foo, I don’t want to see you…”

  184. Caveman Curmudgeon Shrug
    March 22nd, 2013 at 1:36 pm [Reply]

    @Illustrator Steve (#153):

    ELK HUNT: Ha! Bad draw of elk hunt! Dog look dumb!

    MOTHER GODDESS: More belly! More gazongas!

    MARK TRAIL: Me know senile Neanderthal who smarter than that!

  185. Phred22
    March 22nd, 2013 at 1:37 pm [Reply]

    DtM: This depends how we compute Mr. Wilson’s age. In strips back when I was a kid, he could remember World War I, so he’d have to be over 100. But by the same logic, Dennis should be able to collect Social Security. But then he’d also be at greater risk for Alzheimer’s and might have forgotten how to count.

  186. Shrug, With Lots of Zeroes
    March 22nd, 2013 at 1:38 pm [Reply]

    @Johnny Knuckles (#9):

    “Rx Morgan: What’s that book Rx is smugly reading in panel two?”

    Presumably his bank book.

  187. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    March 22nd, 2013 at 1:40 pm [Reply]

    another random note, it really isn’t a lot of fun to have a collar-less pit bull come running out of a back yard at you. Thankfully, he wasn’t aggressive, nor did he stick around to play with Tu’i. “Concern” is the word that comes to mind, but “fear” was next on the playlist.

  188. Liam
    March 22nd, 2013 at 1:40 pm [Reply]

    @bats :[ (#179):

    I was a little worried that someone did it already.

  189. Alice
    March 22nd, 2013 at 1:45 pm [Reply]

    @Alan (#137): Nothing to worry about. Chip is simply warming up his fist for something else. You see, the girlfriend’s parents, unlike Chip’s, actually have jobs outside the home, so once they’re alone in there, it’s fisting time.

  190. LP2004
    March 22nd, 2013 at 1:51 pm [Reply]

    A Nearby City In The Southern Part Of The State, March 22, 2013 – Famed unpublished nature writer and vigilante Mark Trail was named today as the recipient of the annual ‘Father Of The Year’ award by the Voluntary Human Exinction Movement. “While we would prefer that no one would be a parent at all”, said an organization spokesman, “Mark Trail exemplifies the total abdication of parental supervision and responsibility that can increase the chances that a child will not live long enough to reproduce. If one can’t avoid parenthood, Mark Trail provides a wonderful example of the next best thing.”

    When asked how he felt about receiving the award, Mr. Trail muttered something about pancakes and a cheating fisherman, and wandered off.

  191. Ratiocinator
    March 22nd, 2013 at 1:57 pm [Reply]

    RMMD: FFS, stop foreshadowing Milton almost dying and make him almost die so he can learn that he needs to relax, stop and smell the roses, see that the accumulation of wealth for its own sake is an empty pursuit and that he should use his remaining time on Earth paying attention to the things that really matter (like Heather), etc.

    On the plus side, there’s the gratuitous ass shot of June.

    ASM: “For example, if something’s about to hit me in the head, my spider sense tells me that there’s danger, but I never know what to do about it! In the past I’ve taken a ‘stand still and hope everything turns out all right’ approach, but that doesn’t seem to prevent me from getting hit in the head. And after getting hit in the head so many times, I lack the intelligence to figure out another approach. Oh well.”

    JP: So I’m 36 and I don’t spend a whole lot of time hanging out with early twentysomethings like Neddy, but I’m still reasonably certain that “had a cow” is not something they commonly say. Hell, I barely ever heard anybody say it back when it was still Bart Simpson’s catchphrase. But somebody corroborate that for me, please, if you could; maybe I’m wrong.

  192. Jasper
    March 22nd, 2013 at 2:32 pm [Reply]

    @word-doctor (#44):
    At a hunting area near his house in the southern part of the state?

  193. Jasper
    March 22nd, 2013 at 2:36 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#67):
    No, I think Liam had it right the first time. A threesome.

  194. Jasper
    March 22nd, 2013 at 3:05 pm [Reply]

    RMMD- What a waste of fine pussy. I wonder who the baby’s father is. Remember when June took in that young hobo and bathed him?

  195. Alison
    March 22nd, 2013 at 3:07 pm [Reply]

    “Mark Trail”: I know Mark kind of hates Rusty and all but this is just COLD. Imagine if you were being held captive in a van, and your parent/s knew about it, and were sitting around eating instead of taking action. Wow.

    “Luann”: So, the “Easter baskets for Old People” thing is for certain, and Bernice is expected to participate unless she can come up with an excuse that Delta will accept*? Because that’s how Delta is acting. WTF, I thought she just came up with this idea five minutes ago.

    *And Delta seems like the kind of person who would accept nothing less than “I got hit by a car, I have two broken legs, and I am currently en route to the hospital in an ambulance”. And even then, she’d say, “So what? You don’t need to use your legs to make an Easter basket.”

  196. Alison
    March 22nd, 2013 at 3:11 pm [Reply]

    “Mary Worth”: I forgot to comment on this one, and I just had to. Tom wants to read Beth’s romance novel?! He is either a creeper (“Yeeah, I’ll read your book, baby, maybe it will give me ideas, hur hur, yum”) or a pathetic kiss-up (“Don’t worry Beth. You are the bestest writer ever. Your mom is mean. I think your book is so genius it would make Shakespeare jealous.”) Either way, ugh to him, and ugh to the 100% obvious fact he and Beth are going to fall in love and give Mary all the credit for it.

  197. Écureuil Écumant
    March 22nd, 2013 at 3:15 pm [Reply]

    @Alter Ego (#162): Nanosex bees? Do they build their nests in the clefts of, um, er, hillside rocks?

  198. A Woman of a Certain Age
    March 22nd, 2013 at 3:27 pm [Reply]

    @Alison (#195): Luann: I’d better not see any sanctimonious young people coming up my front walk with some shoddy little Easter basket containing Peeps and store-brand jelly beans. And they’ll stay off my grass if they know what’s good for them.

  199. Baka Gaijin
    March 22nd, 2013 at 3:27 pm [Reply]

    @The Right Venerable Pasdordan (#45): EEEEEE! [QLUNQ!]

    @Sequitur (#84): EEEEEEE! [QLUNQ!]

    I’ve got to get some carpeting if I’m going to keep reading these comments.

  200. UncleJeff
    March 22nd, 2013 at 4:02 pm [Reply]

    @Old Folkie (#6): How can it be a contest when everybody wins?

  201. KreatureFeatures
    March 22nd, 2013 at 4:10 pm [Reply]

    Dear Gil Thorp:

    Feel free to randomly insert the following sentences into speech bubbles throughout baseball season:

    “He’s got the mechanics to go the distance.”
    “That last batter hit one right on the screws!”
    “On the payoff pitch, he’s got to settle down or get shelled.”
    “Lucky that right field got on his horse. He could have made two!”

  202. Der Schnärkïnätör mit Ümläütën!
    March 22nd, 2013 at 4:30 pm [Reply]

    @Droopy Says (#29):

    So what’s the plan with Trail? Will he get in the boat with Rod Bassy? Or will he count on Bassy returning to the spot where he made yesterday’s big catch? If Trail is ashore, is the light on the glowing lure bright enough for him to see during the daytime? Will Trail wear scuba gear as he dives after Catfish, or will he hold his breath during the dive? Can the Fists of Justice deal an effective blow underwater? And wouldn’t it make more sense to go after the van and free Rusty while Catfish is in the water, then call the cops?

    As I read this, I imagined it being spoken in the voice of the guy that used to ask all the questions at the end of the cliffhanger episodes of the Batman TV show from the late 1960′s.

    Tune in tomorrow, Same Trail Channel, Same Trail Time!

  203. Michael Anino
    March 22nd, 2013 at 4:56 pm [Reply]

    Hi and Lois: Either the black leaves off of the tree are falling around Chip and his girlfriend or their teenage hearts are already filled with the dark, dark hate of their parents that even the love they feel for each other is only expressed in black.

  204. Rana the Pedantic Wet Blanket
    March 22nd, 2013 at 5:23 pm [Reply]

    @Johnny Knuckles (#9): The book Rex is reading? Fifty Shades of Beige.

  205. Rana the Pedantic Wet Blanket
    March 22nd, 2013 at 5:37 pm [Reply]

    @Calvin’s Cardboard Box (#80): Agreed. In strip all we’ve seen of him is a shadowy figure with whom Dru kept having sex, and at the end he’s revealed to be a rather pathetic looking old man. I suppose his real crime, in the eyes of McE, is to have f*cked outside of his pay grade; he’s neither compliant thrall nor beefed up “handsome” so his getting to have a thousand and one nights of sex with Dru disrupts the order of their universe or something.

  206. Rana the Pedantic Wet Blanket
    March 22nd, 2013 at 5:39 pm [Reply]

    @bbofun (#109): Your rants are glorious!

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