Punching the Gordian knot
Mark Trail, 9/12/08
Would it be OK if I just posted Mark Trail every day, with minimal comment, for as long as it continues to be this mind-blowingly hilarious? Today our hero proposes solving a local water crisis — part of an enormously complex issue involving the need to protect nature but also leave room for development, the tangled legislation around water rights, agricultural water requirements, climate change, and the competing demands on drinking water from dozens of different communities of varying sizes and political clout — by calling in a man whose main problem-solving algorithm consists of “Does it have a face I can punch?” and “Are there any intervening objects that would impede the trajectory of my fist?” Hijinks will almost certainly ensue.
Almost as funny is the continued presences of our friend the raccoon, who is attempting to get fresh with the little girl in the first panel. Raccoons are well known to be fearsomely intelligent carriers of parasites and disease who are unafraid of humans and are probably plotting our overthrow even as I type this. Last year when Amber and I went to Vancouver, we saw in Stanley Park an enormous raccoon that was hanging out just inches away from a baby sitting in a stroller, while a woman (presumably the baby’s mother) was standing six feet away taking lots of pictures of this supposedly adorable nature encounter. I’m not saying I wanted to see the raccoon grab the baby and drag him or her off into the underbrush, but, well, a valuable lesson would have been learned if that had happened. Since the little girl in Mark Trail isn’t real, though, I’m totally down with a raccoon-kidnapping subplot here.
Dick Tracy, 9/12/08
Dick Tracy’s mission in life is to kill and maim as many criminals, suspected criminals, innocent passers-by, and bleeding-heart libs as possible, so it’s no wonder why he’s so excited to see a version of himself that’s thirty feet high, imbued with superhuman strength, and impervious to bullets. Still, I think illustrating his massive tie-erection in the first panel is in somewhat poor taste.
Mary Worth, 9/12/08
“Ian’s going to think I’m an idiot for letting someone steal my identity and then use my money!”
“It happens to many types of people, I’m sure! Not just idiots, but morons, twits, fools, dummies, lame-brains, airheads…”
Ace Diamond
September 12th, 2008 at 4:38 pm
This week on Dick Tracy: TRACEWARRIOR: 31st Century Mech Combat
Rusty
September 12th, 2008 at 4:41 pm
Yes Toby, ignore the bank’s advice and listen to what Mary Worth has to say. It may involve cooking a casserole and random kindness to strangers.
Idols of Mud
September 12th, 2008 at 4:41 pm
Man, the second panel of Mark Trail gets the wetlands point across. “See, honey, without wetlands this raccoon won’t have anything to buffer his landing after I kick him.”
Rusty
September 12th, 2008 at 4:41 pm
MT: Is he trying to fit his boot up that raccoon’s ass? This strip rules.
andycx
September 12th, 2008 at 4:42 pm
Is it me, or does the old guy look like he’s kicking the raccoon in the second panel? No wonder it wants to eat the little girl’s face off.
kelsy
September 12th, 2008 at 4:42 pm
I’m super confused why Toby is still stressed out about this. Didn’t her bank call her not only to alert her to the problem, but also tell her the problem was solved? h
Uncle Lumpy
September 12th, 2008 at 4:42 pm
Is Baldy kicking that racoon there in panel 2? ‘Cause they don’t take kindly to stuff like that.
fishmorgjp
September 12th, 2008 at 4:43 pm
It looks like Dick Tracy has already been mangled by the towering Dick-O-Tron! (I envision the coming adventures of the giant robot, as he rolls down the mean streets, squishing crooks and terrorists… like on a 1950s giant-monster movie poster.)
Uncle Lumpy
September 12th, 2008 at 4:43 pm
Not to pile on or anything. . . .
Ace Diamond
September 12th, 2008 at 4:44 pm
(still talking about DT) you know it occurs to me that the last time Diet Smith gave Dick Tracy a new gadget it was stolen by the disposable Villian of the Month and used to commit crime.
So basically what I’m saying is if the city isn’t reduced to slag by the end of this arc at the hands of Dick’s gigantic metal doppelganger I will be disappointed.
Sans Sense
September 12th, 2008 at 4:44 pm
Tobey…
It is identity theft, not an STD. Shut your whining gob.
Niall
September 12th, 2008 at 4:46 pm
TRAZE-R will trundle mightily and top-heavily on its little wheels towards miscreant, utter insane gibberish in lieu of police procedure warnings, and when they don’t obey, will flail its tiny arms about ineffectually, unable to reach or grasp anything. It wouldn’t be the first time that men had been fooled into acting on sheer size alone.
danzig
September 12th, 2008 at 4:47 pm
I LOVE the way Toby says someone stole her identity and is “using” her money. It’s as if she really believes that she will find out who it is, have a meaningful chat with them, and they will feel so bad that they are going to give her money back. I wish I could delude myself that much.
Niall
September 12th, 2008 at 4:50 pm
Angry Kem: I shall ponder options and figure them out, yea even upon being at my destination, for my good hosts indeed be blessed with many-fast tubes into and out of their dwelling.
I.e. we can coordinate here as I’ll read while in town. :) I can do very light drink post-lunch too, but as my flight leaves the Island at 4, I have to be at Union Station by 3pm, and I want to get to H&M for more shopping while I’m close to one…
Yaanu
September 12th, 2008 at 4:52 pm
MW: I like how she’s excited at the prospect of learning something new in panel two, even if it’s from an old, decrepit widow.
Jude
September 12th, 2008 at 4:54 pm
Man, Dick Tracey is going to be SO disappointed when the TRAZE-R gets struck by lightning and develops a love of El DeBarge music.
goonsquad
September 12th, 2008 at 4:55 pm
The Mark Trail artist used the same drawing of the guy in panel one and panel three in a three panel comic?! Porch and all no less..
Drawing the raccoon kickin’ panel must’ve tired him out.
Idols of Mud
September 12th, 2008 at 4:56 pm
@Ace Diamond (#1): “Sorry, Tracy. It was either TRACEWARRIOR or outsourcing your job to India.”
PeteMoss
September 12th, 2008 at 4:57 pm
Wasn’t Michael Jackson going to commission something like a TRAZ-R (JAX-R?) and let it terrorize the open deserts around Las Vegas? I seem to remember reading about that.
Alan Vanneman
September 12th, 2008 at 4:57 pm
Re Mark Trail, in panel two the old codger appears ready to boot the raccoon off his porch–not surprising, since the dang critter seems to be in the act of taking a dump on said porch. Meanwhile, the little girl is striking a Britney pose, rendered all the more creepy by Jack Elrod’s belief that the way to draw a child is to couple a freakishly small body with a freakishly large head.
Comrade Denny
September 12th, 2008 at 4:58 pm
DT: Actually, Tracy is incredibly dismayed! His job has finally been industrialized, automatized, and roboticized out of existence by this labor-stealing TRAZE-R. This development marks a major change in the dialectic of Dick Tracy.
Out of work and outcast, Tracy will switch sides in the Class War, join the Wobblies, organize and lead us to the General Strike, seize the means of production from the bosses, and usher in an age if peace, prosperity, and universal liberty, equality, and brotherhood… just so long as he get to gleefully and wantonly kill stuff along the way.
FC: Is there a joke in there somewhere? I don’t see it, not even an accidental one… not even a kids-say-the-darndest-things type joke… oh, wait, I get it… it’s a melon-headed-inbreds-say-the-stupidest-fucking-things joke. C’est tres droll.
Dirty Secret Time: I think Heathcliff is funny. I really do. I makes me at least chuckle every day. And I don’t understand why. I’ve thought so since I was a kid. Can someone help me here? Either with an explanation of the humor or possible facilities for treating my condition?
Daily Comics Reviewer
September 12th, 2008 at 4:58 pm
This racoon has been eluding my comments over the last few days even though he is hilarious, I knew you’d be able to handle him.
Violet
September 12th, 2008 at 5:00 pm
I love the way Toby goes from self-flagellating despair in panel one to blissed-out zombiefication in panel two. In fairness, though, Mary’s little speech is both riveting and inspirational.
Red Greenback
September 12th, 2008 at 5:02 pm
Diet calls it “Traze-R” because it’s a Republican.
JH Pants
September 12th, 2008 at 5:02 pm
The thought of educating herself makes Toby cross-eyed. I wonder what she thinks educate means?
PeteMoss
September 12th, 2008 at 5:02 pm
MT – I’m wondering what the movie Chinatown would have been like had Mark Trail been written into the story. He’d happily punch your Sister/Mother/Father/Cousin until they quit stealing water.
SF_Reader
September 12th, 2008 at 5:03 pm
MT: Maybe I’m imagining it, but it looks like Mr Facial Hairless is kicking the racoon in panel 2 because it’s eating out the little girl.
Comrade Denny
September 12th, 2008 at 5:03 pm
23. Riveting indeed … Toby is a robot after all. How else to explain … pretty much everything about her!
Minnie
September 12th, 2008 at 5:03 pm
MW: Toby’s bliss levitated the kitchen counter about 5 feet straight up.
Foolster41
September 12th, 2008 at 5:03 pm
MW: Watch in edge of your seat excitement as… TOBY GOES TO THE LIBRARY. (No way she’s going to do research on the internet, that’s how she got in to this mess!). Same old bat channel, same old bat time!
DT: A giant dick tracy robot? Oh, yes this is a wonderful idea. I don’t see any ironic plot twists where the robot goes out of control here. Nope.
CanuckDownSouth
September 12th, 2008 at 5:05 pm
I just want to see what enormoushop.com does with Toby “educating” herself about internet security…
P-Supe
September 12th, 2008 at 5:08 pm
Whoah! Toby turned into a Disney princess in the last panel.
survivor
September 12th, 2008 at 5:10 pm
You’ll never believe it! I met Mark Trail today!
He simply asked me if I knew how much wetlands mean to our environment. I told him I did not know and Mark Trail gave me some literature to read.
My mustached friend was not so lucky. He told Mark that he did not care and Mark Trail punched him in the face. My buddy should be released from the hospital on Monday but won’t press charges.
Donald The Anarchist
September 12th, 2008 at 5:11 pm
MW Uhhh, Toby? Not to get all mind-bogglingly technical on you, but if they ran up charges on your credit card, they didn’t use your money. They used the bank’s money.
And that’s why Ian told you not to run up charges on it w/o his permission. It wasn’t that he was worried you’d break it, or get it dirty. It’s because when you buy something with it, you have to pay the money back to the bank.
And the fact that neither you nor Mary know anything about these matters makes me wonder if you should be participating in modern life. It’s sort of like driving and not knowing how to merge or when to yield right of way.
survivor
September 12th, 2008 at 5:11 pm
32 – a highly lobotomized Disney princess.
CanuckDownSouth
September 12th, 2008 at 5:12 pm
@32-P-Supe That’s an insult to the two or more functioning neurons of Disney characters like Belle or Ariel :-) They wouldn’t be quaking about identity theft. Belle would probably write a book about it.
Mac
September 12th, 2008 at 5:12 pm
Uh, Toby, Ian always thought you were stupid, which is why he married you.
Joseph J. Finn
September 12th, 2008 at 5:14 pm
Wow, a version of Dick Tracy that’s even stiffer than the original.
PeteMoss
September 12th, 2008 at 5:14 pm
TRAZE-R shares DT’s stubby arm condition in panel 3. In panel two, it looks like it has clamps rather than hands. Anyway, it is certain to do unspeakable harm to “villians” but will never fire on hounds.
Oddball Cargo
September 12th, 2008 at 5:14 pm
I’m not even prepared to call this identify theft. In REAL identity theft, thiefs get ahold of all of your data, ring your credit card to themax, open new credit cards in your name, ring those up to the max, and destroy your credit before you can say “Shut up, Toby”. Your credit profile is forever affected, and it can take MONTHS or even YEARS to dispute the charges and fix your credit.
Toby, this is a goddamn walk in the park by comparison. SHUT. THE. HELL. UP.
Muffaroo-who-walks
September 12th, 2008 at 5:17 pm
MWorth – Mary’s right. She used to choke and spill when she tried to drink coffee and meddle simultaneously, but now look at her multitask! She’s pointing and judging and dispensing advice, all at the same time! And thanks to Depends, that’s not all she’s doing. Toby has that adorable “I’m such a dum-dum! Please patronize me some more!” look on her pretty, foolish face. Coming up: Toby’s Adventure in the Big City! Hear Toby say, “Oh no! I’m still lost, and now my bottom hurts!”
Popeye – Ah, the old switcheroo! It looked like another episode about Swee’Pea’s konkus, and it’s actually going to be about his tuchus.
Speed Bump – The perfect little bowl of nuts and pretzels? Start by leaving out the pretzels.
Mr. O'Malley
September 12th, 2008 at 5:18 pm
19. Petemoss. You’re not thinking of Burning Man, are you? That’s along similar lines.
26. Petemoss. I would love to see Mark Trail star in the Owens Valley Water Wars! Would Mark dynamite the aqueduct, or just punch a hole in it?
SF0: Bonnie wears her hat at 3 AM so she can respond to BooBoo in 10 seconds and still be properly dressed?
SF Chronicle changes comics. Candorville in. FOOB still in. (I guess they didn’t listen to my suggestion.) Comments are interesting here. Leave one yourself.
The only one I’ll miss is Bliss, which I often liked. Today’s is kind of funny, as our local weekly just ran a restaurant review of Hooters. They didn’t think much of the food. As if people go there for the food.
PeteMoss
September 12th, 2008 at 5:19 pm
MW – Geez, Mary looks kind of mean in that last panel with her finger pointing and her cup of tea, ready to be tossed in blondie’s direction – “Educate yourself, stupid b*#*h! Now shuddup!”
Windier E. Megatons
September 12th, 2008 at 5:19 pm
Wait, you’re bothered by the interaction between the raccoon and the girl in panel one? What the hell is happening in panel two??? HUGE no to underage raccoonilingus.
Orange Doorhinge
September 12th, 2008 at 5:21 pm
MW: Mary & Toby are planning on asking a person on the 3rd floor about ID theft.
My Husband is an expert on internet security, writes encrypted code & so on. HIS response would be: “I’m not an expert in that field. Google it!”
thatquietkid
September 12th, 2008 at 5:22 pm
MT- “Our friend Mark Trail”? Does everybody in the comic have Mark’s Home Phone #, Cell Phone #, email, and AIM?
Also i’ve never seen these people before, so i’m pretty sure mark hasn’t either, but according to the 2nd panel, Mark would probably have a bone to pick with the old man for kicking a defenseless racoon in the butt.
Comrade Denny
September 12th, 2008 at 5:23 pm
40. Oddball, Toby – a product of Tobotics Industries, LLC – is a simple android, with a 500-word vocabulary and limited neuro-congitive abilities. Only one indicator of concept: identity theft needs to be met for an incident to be classified as such. If her program were able to identify, prioritize, and organize multiple pieces of information into higher-order concepts, she’d be able to resist Ian’s corn-holing her like a highlands sheep. Every night.
trey le parc
September 12th, 2008 at 5:28 pm
MW: Man, I wish I could find a woman as gullible as Toby…unfortunately, the women I meet have this thing called a “brain” which warns them far in advance of my unseemly desires and proclivities.
Cap'ette Crunch
September 12th, 2008 at 5:28 pm
What needs to be understood about the raccoon, is that it is clearly breaking the nameless little girl’s personal bubble. By carressing her back and gently nibbling on her toes with rabies-infested fangs, he is clearly violating whatever child molestation laws exist in the country of Wetland. Thus, the kindly old nature-enthusiast is forced to punt him into a tree in order to uphold the law. Because nobody molests his child companion, unless they just so happen to be her guardian… and nobody’s around to hear her scream.
Comrade Denny
September 12th, 2008 at 5:28 pm
44. of OF-AGE raccoonilingus. Leave that stuff for Slylock Fox comics where at least they’re all animals.
Uncle Lumpy
September 12th, 2008 at 5:30 pm
#45 OD –
I’d love to watch Toby Google something: “Let’s see, ‘Go Online And Try Security Education’! I’ll just type the initials to save time! These computers are amazing!”
Orinoco
September 12th, 2008 at 5:33 pm
Assuming that the conversation in MT is continuous, that little girl is absolutely throwing herself around that verandah, from next to Baldy’s chair to the other end of the verandah and back again. Maybe that racoon is really bothering her.
trey le parc
September 12th, 2008 at 5:36 pm
Mark Trail: I’m not the first to note that in the second panel the raccoon appears to be taking a gentle nudge from the boot of Combover McWorkshirt. However, I agree, it appears as though Combover is gently nudging the creature towards his daughter’s crotch. Meanwhile, the young girl sports a lethargic “come hither” sort of stare, which is complemented by the expression on the raccoon’s face, which looks like a combination of “Aw, no, not this crap again” and “Meh, what could it hurt?”
Violet
September 12th, 2008 at 5:36 pm
I’ve said some harsh things about Curtis over the years, but today’s installment has me reconsidering. There is so much to love–the relentless grimness, the mother so shaking with rage she spills her cup of ink, the father wistfully contemplating the grave, the open admission that they loathe their children, the complete absence of Curtis. I see very little room for improvement.
One-eyed Wolfdog
September 12th, 2008 at 5:36 pm
Is it just me, or is LuAnn looking a lot like Daphne Blake’s long-lost (but not particularly missed) older sister in panel 2, there? Bad fanfic writers of the world, rejoice! It’s a brilliant and heretofore unheard of crossover possibility. Go crazy, kids.
Andy 3000
September 12th, 2008 at 5:37 pm
You were here in Vancouver and I didn’t get a chance to buy you a beer? Aaaaw, man!
NoVan
September 12th, 2008 at 5:38 pm
We often hear about “putting a human face on government.” Clearly this is for Mark Trail’s benefit.
Patrick
September 12th, 2008 at 5:39 pm
I love how Mary says, “I’m not really familiar with this,” then proceeds to dispense meddling advice anyway. “I’m not really familiar with nuclear weaponry, but I’d cut the red wire.” “I’m not really familiar with cooking anything but beige shapes, but I think that needs more salt.” “I’m not really familiar with anal sex, but I think it’s easier if you’re on your stomach…”
maureen
September 12th, 2008 at 5:41 pm
Did anyone catch today’s Family Circus, where we’ve apparently walked in on grandma belittling one of her fetal-alcohol syndrome grandkids? It made me really, really happy. Especially the downtrodden look on that little cocksucker’s face.
Chris
September 12th, 2008 at 5:43 pm
I am a sick man. I would like to see Mary let her hair down, and do a three way with IAN and Toby. Or how about having Mary go on “Makeover” and get a new wardrobe, and hairstyle.
Daveh
September 12th, 2008 at 5:47 pm
Toby continues to reel as she listend toMary prattle while having her 3rd cup of coffee!
Gal Friday
September 12th, 2008 at 5:50 pm
I wish Mark Trail would punch Hurricane Ike! : (
One-eyed Wolfdog
September 12th, 2008 at 5:52 pm
“But, Grandma! If I put the football down I won’t have nothin’ to hide my ‘reckshun with.”
Seismic-2
September 12th, 2008 at 5:54 pm
#32 – Tobey has indeed become Sleeping Beauty, but this should be expected, since Mary Worth is in reality “Flora”, one of the three tea-addicted fairies in that cartoon:
http://listings.ironictiming.com/sbfairies/header.png
With any luck, Toby / Beauty will soon fall asleep, like maybe, um, forever; a thicket of thorny vines will swallow up the apartment complex; Chinbeard will stay in Canada where he and the floozie he met at the “conference” have been living off his credit card; and all of the rest of us shall live happily ever after. The end.
Cheeky Wee Monkeys
September 12th, 2008 at 5:54 pm
Trail just needs to punch out a cloud. Stick a picture of a guy with a beard on if you have to.
MDK
September 12th, 2008 at 6:06 pm
Toby Panel 1: “I’m confused.”
Toby Panel 2: “But now I’m happy!”
/obscure?
Conor_ahearne
September 12th, 2008 at 6:23 pm
“Why, without the Wetlands, there’d be no raccoons for me to kick in the arse! Heeee! you try, it’s fun!”
monkey.dave
September 12th, 2008 at 6:24 pm
When I read that first panel of Dick Tracy, I thought it said “You’ve got to be kidding, Dief” and that he was speaking to the reanimated corpse of former Canadian Prime Minister John “Dief, The Chief” Diefenbaker. You have to admit that the resemblance is too close to be a coincidence.
Muddtallica
September 12th, 2008 at 6:25 pm
So if I’m reading Mark Trail correctly – leaving aside the argument that “not reading Mark Trail” is the correct way to read Mark Trail, of course – am I to understand that Plastic-Faced Little Girl and Baldy McRodentkicker are going to call up Mark Trail and “tell him to put the water back”? See, Baldy, it is that easy!
…and cue the next two years of strips consisting entirely of Mark Trail carrying buckets of water back and forth from the nearest ocean. Given the blatantly recycled art in panels one and three, maybe that was the ulterior motive all along.
towanda
September 12th, 2008 at 6:25 pm
Nothing I love more than a hot racoon/foot/prepubescent girl 3-way!
Ubiq
September 12th, 2008 at 6:27 pm
Far as the raccoon in Stanley Park goes, Josh, do you really think it would have left witnesses if it had had hostile intent? While it might have been a valuable life lesson for the mother, that life as well as that everybody present would have been short indeed.
On another note, I look forward to Mark Trail punching the mask right off that raccoon for attempted bestiality or the human-oriented equivalent thereof.
Holy crappola
September 12th, 2008 at 6:30 pm
The Josh! In Vancouver?!? And the papers didn’t write about it? Damn! I too live in Vancouver, and me thinks….wait for it…yes!! JOSH LIVE IN VANCOUVER!!! WOOO HOOOO! Also, some drinking,and fighting,and running from the cops…wait, not the last one. Well, maybe. But WOO HOO! CC meetup in Vancouver!! Maybe one day?
Carly
September 12th, 2008 at 6:30 pm
This week in Mark Trail, Mark will attempt to get water from a stone. By punching it, of course.
The second panel in Mary Worth cracks me up. She probably frequently spouts platitudes she doesn’t live by (and in fact, you could easily make a Mary Worth Platitudes doll where you pull the string and she talks) but this particular piece of advice strikes me as particularly hilarious. Does she ever leave her apartment complex (or is it a condo?) except to go to the Bum Boat? She got all horrified when Jeff went abroad. “There are…OTHER COUNTRIES?!”
Any takers for making that Mary Worth doll?
On a related note, I would like to put my vote in for another “pose like the panel” contest. I’m thinking Toby from this storyline. Possibly the “reeling” panel.
Angry Kem
September 12th, 2008 at 6:33 pm
It is clear to me that either the little girl or her father and his pet raccoon have got to have the ability to grow or shrink extremely quickly and for no particular reason. Look at that second panel. Either the father is huge (and possibly seated on the empty air with his feet swinging about a metre above the deck) and the raccoon freaking enormous, or the girl is tiny and–as many have pointed out–preparing to engage in sexual relations with the raccoon. As well, the girl seems to be in need of some sort of medication, as she can’t sit still for more than half a second at a time.
Aging Hipster
September 12th, 2008 at 6:42 pm
Is the Mary Worth plot really about identity theft?
Because I’m beginning to think it is really about VD.
Carly
September 12th, 2008 at 6:46 pm
74 – Angry Kem
Maybe the little girl will fall down the rabbit hole next, huh?
BigTed
September 12th, 2008 at 6:57 pm
Mary may have her faults, but who else could hold onto a full, steaming-hot mug of coffee and simultaneously jab her finger accusingly without spilling a drop?
Violet
September 12th, 2008 at 7:02 pm
Okay, Cathy, it’s been an awesome week, but I think we get it already. The woman has a fairly serious eating disorder. It’s HILARIOUS. Any way we can move this along?
Tlachtga
September 12th, 2008 at 7:04 pm
I’m a little creeped out by the come-hither look the girl is giving the raccoon in panel two. Not that it surprises me.
Skullturf Q. Beavispants
September 12th, 2008 at 7:06 pm
I used to live in greater Vancouver (Burnaby, for seven years). If there’s ever a CC meetup around Christmas or New Year’s, I might be around as I am often back on the west coast for the holidays.
I’m in my new home of Toronto all weekend, so if Niall and Angry Kem can figure out a time on Sunday afternoon that works for them, I am around. I live around Bloor and Bathurst but am also willing to venture farther south.
Regarding today’s comics, I actually thought Wizard of Id was really funny. I suppose it’s possible that it’s actually an old joke that I hadn’t heard for some reason, but it made me laugh and I plan on repeating it to others in the near future.
Idols of Mud
September 12th, 2008 at 7:08 pm
@MDK #66 — My name is Mary and I am funky.
cheech wizard
September 12th, 2008 at 7:09 pm
Big Dog – Based on the facial expressions of the little girl sitting around the table, I’m assuming that the empty chair doesn’t belong to the girl in the foreground, but the one he just snatched up and devoured before their horrified eyes.
MW – Toby look like she just blew a mental spring and went into full airhead mode – probably when she heard the words “educate yourself.”
MT – Yeah, well you know who else is dying? The goddamn mosquitoes, that’s who. The ones who’ve been infesting this place since 1949, when I lost my job and your grandmother and I had to move into this god-forsaken swamp.So the animals? Fuck ‘em.
Stu
September 12th, 2008 at 7:15 pm
Did “identity theft” take four inches off Toby’s left arm, too?
Fra. Bunnë, Official Comic Execrator
September 12th, 2008 at 7:22 pm
MW: I assume this is just the effect of detail lost when the image is rendered in computer-screen resolution, but damn, in panel 2 Toby sure looks like some kind of beat-up goth rag doll.
Lolsworth
September 12th, 2008 at 7:23 pm
Any given Dick Tracy strip taken in isolation is like a fevered nonsensical hallucination of cubist visuals and random words.
Fra. Bunnë, Official Comic Execrator
September 12th, 2008 at 7:24 pm
Foolster41 -
Maybe on the way to the library she can fall prey to the infamous “pigeon drop”, thereby proving you can be scammed just as well in person, especially if you are a dingbat.
Poteet
September 12th, 2008 at 7:24 pm
MT — We Iowans have drained more than 95% of our wetlands, though we are trying to restore a few now. Hundreds of plant and animal species have drastically declined as a result, but raccoons and deer don’t need wetlands and are doing quite splendidly, thankyewverahmuch. So choosing a deer as the first drainage victim, while a raccoon sadly watches, seems bizarre.
What I really want to know is whether I can call Mark and have him punch more of our wetlands back into existence. Does he punch the ground until the tile lines scream and plug themselves?
PeteMoss
September 12th, 2008 at 7:26 pm
FC – “But, Grandma! How do you know I can’t swallow a football unless I try it?”
Amanda
September 12th, 2008 at 7:32 pm
Why is Toby giving Mary Worth a “come hither” look in the second panel? Do I really want to know?
PeteMoss
September 12th, 2008 at 7:33 pm
Foob v. -2
Michael may need a tad more potty training. He doesn’t quite have the concept of the pants being down before the bowel movement.
“Look what I did, Mommie! I made another bestseller!”
I say give the little shit a pen knife.
Poteet
September 12th, 2008 at 7:33 pm
MW — I’m one of those computer users who can barely manage to do email, but I still learned the basics about phishing in less than five minutes. So it shouldn’t take Toby more than a month.
Gazza
September 12th, 2008 at 7:34 pm
@44
I’m glad I’m not the only one who thought, “Yeah, I’d boot that furry little pederast in the ass as well.”
But I remain confused by the first panel. Why is the old dude answering his own question? (okay, it was my first reaction, but still…)
messybessy
September 12th, 2008 at 7:34 pm
That raccoon is going to get even somehow for the kick in the butt!
Braniff
September 12th, 2008 at 7:35 pm
Dick Tracy: The theme for today’s comic strip–Crime fighting of Dummies, by Dummies and For Complete Dummies (the latter was changed to minimize the chance of getting sued by the Dummies publishing people–I hope!).
Did anyone notice how much of a dummy Dick Tracy appeared to be? I’m not talking about the robot!
PeteMoss
September 12th, 2008 at 7:36 pm
GA – Jamie Farr?! Hey, you’re almost as funny as you were in Cannonball Run II!
odinthor
September 12th, 2008 at 7:47 pm
Marmaduke —
Damn, Marmy, I share your pain. Those are the same reasons no one invites me to any more parties.
Apt. 3-G — Hm. LuAnne’s expression is not a displeased one. What was behind the curtain was either Sam Driver doing some nude modeling, or a big-screen TV showing a Green Acres marathon.
DtM —
Ah, the motto of the Office of the Vice-President…
GT — Contagious overbite alert! Is there an orthodontist in the stands?
RMMD — Lenore, if you don’t want to distract Rex, you’ve got to stop saying “coming,” OK?
PeteMoss
September 12th, 2008 at 7:47 pm
Spider-man isn’t so much a super-hero as he is a “special” hero. You know what I mean. Even Molly the bear had an excuse for not understanding the hostility towards her. Parker, what good is all that television viewing you do, buddy, if you’re surprised the cops want to shoot you? Of course, he’s very sweet natured and we all just need to be patient with him.
Matthew
September 12th, 2008 at 7:51 pm
Some people don’t know and probably don’t care about how much her money means to Toby. You know who may be able to help her? Her friend Mark Trail!
(Boy, I’d've sure liked to punch the facial hair off the bastard that pulled our credit card receipts out of our recycling and used them to steal our info.)
Ptycho
September 12th, 2008 at 7:58 pm
It’s okay trophy wife, Ian didn’t marry you for your keen intellect. Now please go sit on the ottoman and maintain that benign smile in panel 2 for a few hours, slobber admiringly over your husband’s neck beard and paunch, and all will be forgiven.
Angry Kem
September 12th, 2008 at 8:01 pm
#80 Skullturf: Hey…I used to live in Burnaby too. I no longer ever go there, since my parents have moved to the Island, but still.
I’ll be downtown on Sunday for the TFR. I’m not yet one hundred percent sure I’ll be free, but if I am, I’m in for a meet-up. Skullturf and I will probably even vaguely recognise each other.
Jacquilynne
September 12th, 2008 at 8:02 pm
It’s not the raccoons you have to watch out for in Stanley Park, it’s the squirrels. I mean, sure, the raccoons may be smart, but the squirrels are organized, and I’d rather face one smart guy with knife than a dumb firing squad any day.
Harold
September 12th, 2008 at 8:07 pm
Is Ces writing Dick Tracy now? Can a Dick Tracy/Voltron mashup be far away?
Bobdog, Jungle Patrol - SVU (not an Elephant, not Spam)
September 12th, 2008 at 8:07 pm
MW: I admit I have no idea what I’m talking about, but don’t think that’s going stop me from giving you some advice!
Bobdog, Jungle Patrol - SVU (not an Elephant, not Spam)
September 12th, 2008 at 8:10 pm
In fairness to the raccoon, it’s clear the little girl is encouraging his amorous advances with her sultry pose in panel 2 — Kelly Welly, watch out, the next generation of Lost Forest skanks is up and coming.
gnome de blog
September 12th, 2008 at 8:13 pm
I hope the swamp-drainers have brought in Dick Tracy to defend mega-mall global capitalism.
Compared to Tracy, Mark Trail is a limp-wristed granola-eating tree-hugging godless pinko hippie anarchist.
It will be better than Dick Cheney vs. Randall Weaver.
Didn’t Tracy have a mustache once?
Carly
September 12th, 2008 at 8:14 pm
85 Lolsworth –
Did you catch the “name Michael’s next book” game awhile back? I believe it involved selecting a random adjective and noun out of the dictionary. Perhaps a similar principle could be applied to Dick Tracy.
But either way, the thought of the writer just shoving random words in makes me laugh and laugh.
Harold
September 12th, 2008 at 8:15 pm
Wait ’til Mark finds out that Lucky the Beaver is behind the water diversion that is causing such trouble.
http://joshreads.com/?p=885
He’s gonna be pounding that beaver before we know it!
Bribaby
September 12th, 2008 at 8:16 pm
I think the man and the little girl in “Mark Trail” are actually married, even though he may still be her “Papa”. Why else would they be living out in the swamp? Who are they running from? And clearly he’s upset about the dwindling water supply because that’s gonna put a dent in the moonshine production.
Weaselboy
September 12th, 2008 at 8:22 pm
MW, panel two: Two girls, one cup.
Saluki
September 12th, 2008 at 8:33 pm
If Idle hands truly are the Devil’s playthings then Dennis is much more menacing then he first appears today.
Team MP
September 12th, 2008 at 8:38 pm
I only skimmed the comments, so I’m probably ripping somebody off, but nobody else commented on DTM?
Dennis has nothing to do and all day to do it? He’s got dozens of friends and the fun never ends that is as long as he’s buying?
I would venture to say that buying booze for all of your underage friends is not very menacing at all. At 4 or 5, however, you do have to admit that is kind of intense.
Doctorb
September 12th, 2008 at 8:45 pm
Next two weeks of Mary Worth:
Mon: Toby is going to buy a shaker of McCormick’s garlic salt to make Mary Worth’s famous seafood scampi (what, you thought there was actual garlic in it?).
Tues: Toby forgot her cash but the shaker of McCormick’s garlic salt is already rung up! Oh noes! But wait, she has her debit card in her purse.
Wed: Toby buys a shaker of McCormick’s garlic salt to make Mary Worth’s famous seafood scampi, using her debit card.
Wed: Toby has bought a shaker of McCormick’s garlic salt to make Mary Worth’s famous seafood scampi. She drives home, thinking to herself about how she will enjoy preparing dinner for Ian. Workers are repainting a crosswalk a block away.
Thurs: Toby has accidentally overdrawn the checking account! But since she has overdraft protection, the money is automatically transferred from the savings account without Toby needing to do or know anything.
Friday: Toby puts the garlic salt in the spice rack, thinking about making seafood scampi later that afternoon.
Saturday: The crosswalk is nearly dry. Toby opens a can of chunk light tuna while thinking of a shirtless Ian.
Sunday: Mary Worth lectures a stranger on the importance of mowing your lawn. Meanwhile, grass grows.
Monday: Toby melts some Crisco in a pan and adds half a teaspoon of garlic salt while saying “First, I’ll melt some Crisco in this pan. And then … half a teaspoon of garlic salt”. The paint has dried.
Tuesday: Toby adds the canned tuna. She then explains, ostensibly to herself, that she’s already drained it. Meanwhile an email is sent to her computer.
Wednesday: Dinner is served. Ian adds some lemon juice to his tuna, prompting an existensial crisis for Toby.
Hey this is hard to do.
Seismic-2
September 12th, 2008 at 8:49 pm
He-who-wipes-his-boots-on-a-raccoon’s-ass gives me all sorts of creepy vibes. Anyone who can expand by 50% from panel 1 to panel 3 without even twitching a muscle must be practicing sorcery, down in the swamp. I think he is Prospero, his daughter is Miranda, the ‘coon is Ariel, and it’s Caliban who’s draining off all the water, trying to reclaim his ogre’s swamp from the magical squatters. Fortunately, MT will be called in to unleash a Tempest with his mighty fist of precipitation.
Poopy MacPoop
September 12th, 2008 at 8:50 pm
TRAZE-R appears to be made almost entirely of penises.
Niall
September 12th, 2008 at 8:52 pm
Skullturf, Angry Kem: I know this great pub near Bloor and Christie, but it’s.. west of Bathurst. So AK may not be able to go. *grins and ducks*
For this one time, I put one of my email addresses in my name to contact, if there’s a way we can reach AK on the Sunday itself, it could be put there.
Rachel211
September 12th, 2008 at 9:00 pm
You guys are all forgetting that LuAnn’s precious DVD is not in the mail! The real shit is going to hit the fan when Ian gets home!
“You think I give a damn about your identity!? You have no identity! I made sure of that when I got you that lobotomy years ago! WHERE’S MY PRESENT, BITCH?!”
Matthew
September 12th, 2008 at 9:02 pm
Heh, notice Mary Worth makes sure she is not included in the ranks of those easily deceived by identity thieves! “It happens…, I’m sure” and “I’m not familiar with this..
Rachel211
September 12th, 2008 at 9:03 pm
Oh my – both LuAnn and Toby are so boring and similar that I can’t even keep their names straight anymore….
Joe Btfsplk
September 12th, 2008 at 9:04 pm
Dick Traze-r – This. Is going. To be. Awesome.
Mark Trail – Now, Mark Trail, you need to make up your mind. Do you want those old raccoons and those old deer and those old otters to get dehydrated, or do you want little Shirley the little mother duck and her little family of little ducklings to get flooded out of their little nest again? You can’t have it both ways.
Kumquat
September 12th, 2008 at 9:29 pm
#116 Rachel211 –
I’m mildly ashamed that I know this, but the DVD came already. There was a strip a week or so back where they watched it and Chinbeard expressed his appreciation.
Les of the Jungle Patrol
September 12th, 2008 at 9:31 pm
#114 is true. The tie erection in panel 1 is nothing compared to robocock in panel 2. Seriously, what kind of law enforcement robot needs a penis sticking out like that? (no, wait, don’t answer that.)
Carly
September 12th, 2008 at 9:33 pm
#118 Rachel211
And the first time I read your comment, I automatically replaced Luann with Toby. So they clearly are completely interchangeable.
Orange Doorhinge
September 12th, 2008 at 9:33 pm
MW: Toby’s wondering “How can I educate MYSELF when I don’t know anything?”
DT: I thought the TRAZY-R was a new kind of TAZER. Do the people in DT universe use TAZERS?
A3G: I can’t wait to see what is behind the curtain…I wonder how long it’ll be, 3 weeks, 4, 5? Meanwhile I”m guessing it’s a nudie of Halie.
Worthinator
September 12th, 2008 at 9:40 pm
I love MW’s kitchen. From panel to panel tables, chairs, and counters rise and fall in height, and cabinets, windows, doors, and appliances appear and disappear between panels. MW’s living room stays more or less the same, but the kitchen is right out of “Dark City”.
Kumquat
September 12th, 2008 at 9:42 pm
A3G – When I was a small child, I got a lot of new vocabulary from reading, with the result that I often knew the right spelling for hard words but not the right pronunciation. My strangest error was assuming that, because comic strip characters often have their sighs marked by the word “sigh” in a word balloon, sighing actually meant saying the word “sigh” aloud. I was ridiculed out of this misconception in grade school, but it looks like Luann is doing her level best to keep it alive and well.
And speaking of Luann, the comic Luann should not be read today without a supply of brain bleach close at hand.
commodorejohn
September 12th, 2008 at 9:43 pm
#36 CanuckDownSouth – Well, if P-Supe is referring to the characters as they appear in the movies, then yeah. On the other hand, if the reference was to the vapid, lobotomized versions that appear on Disney Princess merchandise, then I can’t think of a more apt comparison. (Seriously, what the hell is with that stuff? Belle isn’t even a princess, she’s a French peasant who married a wealthy landowner. If she’s a princess, John Kerry is a prince.)
#107 Harold – I dunno, if the way Cherry acts is any indication, Mark hasn’t got the first clue about pounding beavers.
Les of the Jungle Patrol
September 12th, 2008 at 9:43 pm
#118 LuAnn and Toby are both played by the same actor. She specializes in blond, bland soap comic character’s.
Vince M
September 12th, 2008 at 9:51 pm
A3G: I’m guessing it’s a full-length portrait of Alan, where the effects of his drug use are made visible and he looks like extra-Keith-Richards (or has someone here already floated this theory?)
AhClem
September 12th, 2008 at 9:53 pm
MW – When my daughter was little, she used to take her Barbies into the bath with her and proceed to dismember them. There were always several Barbie torsos and limbs floating in the bath water, with the heads twisted at bizarre angles from the bodies.
Toby’s posture and blank stare in panel 2 brings back fond memories of those days.
Brick Bradford
September 12th, 2008 at 9:57 pm
MT Actually, the raccoon is the most intelligent looking mammal on the porch. No wonder the old man is kicking him in a fit of impotent resentment.
Carly
September 12th, 2008 at 10:04 pm
125 Kumquat-
I had and continue to have the same pronunciation problem, plus I don’t think I hear emphasis the same way other people do – for example, ARrogant and arROgant sound similar to me so I’m not sure why one’s right and the other isn’t.
Luckily, I now go to grad school where everyone else suffers the same problem, so if they laugh at me it’s in a “been there, done that” kind of way.
Rusty
September 12th, 2008 at 10:05 pm
MT: I think I’ve seen that woozy come hither look in a Paris Hilton sex tape. This is one skeevy comic strip.
C. Havoc
September 12th, 2008 at 10:09 pm
I was really excited to post something clever about kicking that racoon in the rear. Then I saw there were 132 posts ahead of me…
Damn.
Steve the Pocket
September 12th, 2008 at 10:12 pm
Ah, Mark Trail. Turning serious conservation issues into Hero-vs.-Villain storylines like only you or Captain Planet can.
Skullturf Q. Beavispants
September 12th, 2008 at 10:12 pm
Re the “sigh” thing — it took me a very long time before I realized that the exclamation “Whew!”, seen in comic strips indicating a sense of relief, is supposed to be pronounced like “few” or “Phew!” I originally read it out loud like “Woo!”
I’m also from a city in Canada that hardly has any Spanish-speaking people, so when I first read “No way, Jose!” I thought the name rhymed with “dose” and had the first consonant of “joke”.
C. Havoc
September 12th, 2008 at 10:13 pm
Last night I logged on and there were zero comments ahead of me.
The cleverest thing I could think of to say at the time was “FIRST!”, and you know how that would have turned out…
Double Damn
Joe Blevins
September 12th, 2008 at 10:14 pm
MT: I don’t know who these people are or what their names might be, but they are challenging The Malottes as the family with the most hilarious hair in Mark Trail history.
Aesop
September 12th, 2008 at 10:23 pm
“Ian’s going to think I’m stupid for letting someone steal my identity!”
“Well, Toby, you are rather stupid…”
Fra. Bunnë, Official Comic Execrator
September 12th, 2008 at 10:24 pm
Kumquat: I still say “sigh” sometimes. I think I said it yesterday. Though I am vaguely kidding.
Also, it took me a long time to figure out that “tisk”, which I think may be the equivalent of the British “tut”, is really a clumsy rendering of that ticking noise you make by pulling air in over your tongue, under the alveolar ridge (behind the teeth).
Skullturf Q. Beavispants
September 12th, 2008 at 10:30 pm
Me too. I’m sure I’ve said “tisk tisk” out loud when I was younger.
Skullturf Q. Beavispants
September 12th, 2008 at 10:36 pm
I think another thing I said when I was younger, based on reading the comics out loud phonetically, was “ahem”, which I pronounced like “a hem” meaning “an edge of a garment”, as opposed to just making a cough sound.
Duckman30
September 12th, 2008 at 10:45 pm
MT – I think the girl is actually one of Mark’s forest fun babies.. she has the same laid back casual style when she’s leaning on something, and the strong part and pomaded hair is another clue… I also think “papa” is upset because he remembers the last time MT came to “take care of a wetlands problem” and left something behind, and he’s kicking the amorous raccoon in a fit of misplaced anger.
Howabominable (aka Lindsey ^_^)
September 12th, 2008 at 10:46 pm
Please tell me today’s Get Fuzzy is directed at those of us who are bored with the comic and not just the joke.
Jordan
September 12th, 2008 at 10:46 pm
I like how the man and his little girl talk about Mark as though he’s an imaginary character who they can call on for good luck. Now that I think of it, I think that would be a natural defense mechanism if you knew Mark personally and wanted your world to make some sort of sense.
queek
September 12th, 2008 at 10:54 pm
127: she also appears as Jen Erica in the strip Ink Pen.
commodorejohn
September 12th, 2008 at 11:01 pm
#140 Skullturf Q. Beavispants – I still do.
Artist formerly known as Ben
September 12th, 2008 at 11:11 pm
#186 y/t Bats:[
Oh yes, you know those aren’t vampire bats. Phantom artist Paul Ryan–being somewhat more than a competent draftsman–probably knows it as well. And that v-bats are native to South America, not Africa. But they’re big and awesome, so he and the writer could try to pass them off as vampires to a credulous public. Especially if–as I half-seriously suggested–Chatu has transformed his mercenaries into them.
Poteet
September 12th, 2008 at 11:12 pm
# 141 Skullturf — You mean that’s WRONG?! Er, I mean, hahahahaha! How amusing! I think I used to do that too. Very long ago, of course..
Muffaroo-who-walks
September 12th, 2008 at 11:28 pm
C. Havoc @133 – Yes, but the comments on kicking the raccoon actually started in the thread before this one. I realize this is not actually helpful, and I have just enough decency to be sorry about it.
Skullturf @140 – It took me years to realize “tsk tsk” wasn’t pronounced like a vowel-less “tisk tisk.” It didn’t help any that Popeye (later Popeye, I think) pronounced it “tisk,” and there was a whole ad campaign that rhymed it with “Whisk” as well. One day, though, I realized that it was supposed to be the same sound as represented by “tch tch” — a sort of unspellable sound effect.
(Comments have changed number? Another spam post removed? I can always tell I haven’t gained godlike powers by the fact that these things still exist.)
captnkurt
September 12th, 2008 at 11:31 pm
“It happens to many types of people, I’m sure! Not just idiots, but morons, twits, fools, dummies, lame-brains, airheads…”
Oh well he’s very popular Ed. The sportos, the motorheads, geeks, sluts, bloods, wastoids, dweebies, dickheads — they all adore him. They think he’s a righteous dude.
Muffaroo-who-walks
September 12th, 2008 at 11:35 pm
Extra Special Announcement – Here’s Old Man Muffaroo himself, in action, with his conceptually inseparable platonic companion, Little Lady Lovekins!
And, oh yeah, also about a MILLION other archaic comics for my enjoyment. Oh yeah, and yours too, I guess. If you like this sort of thing. I expect to go stark raving mad just looking at the list of titles, Real Soon.
Since my screen only turns 90 degrees, I expect I’ll be copying and saving every one of these comics. I mean, the Muffaroos. And later, the others. All of them.
Night.
Gadfly
September 12th, 2008 at 11:36 pm
Mary’s comment reminds me of one of my favorite lines from _Murder, She Wrote_. Jessica’s beleagured, falsely accused friend cries,
“God, help me!”
Jessica replies, “I’ll see what I can do!”
Angry Kem
September 13th, 2008 at 12:39 am
#115 Niall: You mean Clinton’s? One benefit of that place is that it’s quite small; it’s more or less impossible to get lost in.
Yes…it’s true. I have been west of Bathurst. It is a mysterious, frightening region, and I spend as little time there as possible.
I can’t access your address. Why don’t you set a time to meet Skullturf, and I’ll be there if I can? Later is better for me, but it isn’t for you, so do what you must.
Ally
September 13th, 2008 at 12:40 am
“Does it have a face I can punch?”
Ha! The dangers of drinking and reading… water… everywhere.
AMC
September 13th, 2008 at 1:00 am
PBS – we’ve finally fixed the trade deficit. Just to make sure it irrevocable, they need to say: “No backs”. I think that makes it totally binding under international law.
Poteet
September 13th, 2008 at 1:18 am
JP — As they used to put it in MST3000, SAAAaaaay!
AMC
September 13th, 2008 at 1:22 am
Query – which is the most non-suprising ‘revelation’ – i.e. the biggest “duh!” moment – in comicdom this week?
Is it Toeby realizing that Ian will think she’s stupid?
Or is it Alan acknowledging that getting high is all he cares about?
LuAnn could also be in the running, but first she has to realize something.
Anything.
Juggs Parker – back on track.
Poteet
September 13th, 2008 at 1:30 am
MT — A niece, eh? Is this more evidence that no human depicted in MT ever actually has sex?
DantePhoenix
September 13th, 2008 at 1:36 am
34: Well, in my mind Mary Worth is an eons-old creature who feeds upon shame much like Pennywise from IT fed on fear. So she’s obviously still getting used to the whole credit card thing, since they’ve only been around for a couple minutes in her relative timeframe.
Toby, on the other hand, is simply a dunderhead.
AMC
September 13th, 2008 at 1:49 am
Query No. 2 – who has the stranger first name?
41-year-old Dara Torres or 6-foot-9 Jeff Ponczak?
regnaDkciN
September 13th, 2008 at 1:53 am
Mary Worth: “I’m not really familiar with this, but if there’s anything I’ve learned. it’s if you don’t know about something…call Mark Trail.”
Canaduck
September 13th, 2008 at 2:00 am
Josh,
I live in Vancouver and I guarantee you that EVERY single time I am in Stanley Park, I see a gaggle of idiot tourists squatting down and putting their faces within mere inches of every raccoon they can find. The raccoons have basically become diurnal thanks to this kind of attention, which is often accompanied by food. Basically what I’m saying is that what you saw was by no means unusual. :(
James
September 13th, 2008 at 2:34 am
Dick Tracy robot stomps those dang libruls. I love it!
Niall
September 13th, 2008 at 3:13 am
153 angry kem: I believe it’s Clinton’s, yes. Let’s say 1:00pm til 2:00pm, when I have to go back on the subway. And I didn’t realise the url field won’t accept spaces so my attempt at denaturing my email backfired. this one should be easier to figure out…
maxnmike
September 13th, 2008 at 3:29 am
1) I like to think of Mark Trail as the Chuck Norris of the Woodlands. “Mark Trail once punched someone so hard…”
2) “Omigod, Diet. It’s a giant Dick!”
Jack Parsons
September 13th, 2008 at 4:15 am
Dick Tracy is now Gigantor.
His Power Is In Your Hand! Ooh baby!
A Lemur
September 13th, 2008 at 4:15 am
MW:”Hi, this is Mrs. Toby Cameron from Building B. You know, the person with social security number __ and credit card number ___? Mary worth referred me to you. I have a problem that I hope you can help me with.”
Alexey
September 13th, 2008 at 4:20 am
This is outrageous libel! When has Mark Trail’s fist ever been impeded by any mere “intervening object”?
Now, he won’t sue you, but if you have any face hair, you may want to get rid of it quick. I’m just saying…
Herbie
September 13th, 2008 at 5:20 am
Re: MT:
The romantic subtext is making me incredibly uncomfortable. The way I read what’s going on while they have their ridiculous conversation:
Panel 1: Racoon is making amourous advances on little girl.
Panel 2: HIs advances have enticed the girl, who strikes a come hither pose, but the racoon, nervous and new, needs prodding from dirty old voyeur.
Panel 3: Oh god, what’s going on in panel 3?!? Where is that racoon? All I know is that based on their gaze, neither the old man or the little girl are paying much attention to their conversation, and both look way happier than anybody about to make contact with Mark Trail has any right to be.
I’m going to go try to wash off the sense of ick.
mojo
September 13th, 2008 at 7:18 am
Toby’s next line in MW: “Educate? Me only simple jungle princess! What mean this word….’educate’?”
(With apologies in advance to the old, obscure Broadway show I swiped this from…)
A Lemur
September 13th, 2008 at 7:53 am
DT: Oh. The giant mechanoid Tracy with pinchers of steel responds to Tracy’s voice? WELL, no potential for mayhem there, no siree. Braces ‘hitech’ device couldn’t possibly be a voice emulater, no. No, that would be just too improbable. This will probably turn out to be an ordinary story of a vital asset added to the arsenal of tough but fair minded police that will have no untoward consequences. Yep.
A Lemur
September 13th, 2008 at 8:00 am
MT: This is just another example of how those who are at one with nature can coexist with woodland creatures who are basically small, evil tempered bears with prehensile paws who could probably field strip a SAM missile launcher and are ploting our destruction even as we speak.
Urban Garlic
September 13th, 2008 at 8:32 am
MT: I can’t believe it’s 170-ish comments in and no one’s on this — it’s clear to me that the first line in MT is being spoken by the second line’s speech balloon!
This is so meta, it’s way bigger than breaking the fourth wall, it’s like breaking the fourth dimension or something, self-referentially backwards in time.
Excuse me, I think I need to have a lie-down…
Mighty Max King
September 13th, 2008 at 8:33 am
The most terrifying thing about Mary Worth is the smell. As soon as MW enters the frame the faint cloying odor of shut-up rooms, stale pee, old bandages and, worst of all, jasmine eau de parfum wafts unbidden into the olfactory of the inner mind where it triggers inescapable musings on one’s own lingering decay.
Vince M
September 13th, 2008 at 8:43 am
GA – Normally the cliche ending for this storyline would be for Rover to thwart the eeevil oil execs by posting the plans for his miracle device on the internet for everyone to see – but this is Gasoline Alley, so instead it’ll be relayed on a series of comically rustic hand-cranked telephones and gossipy switchboard operators.
Tracer Bullet
September 13th, 2008 at 9:00 am
JP: “I’m Sam Driver and I need to review your . . . briefs.” Bomp-chikka-wow-wow
MW: Mary is sub-contracting out her meddling now? I can’t wait until Halliburton gets involved in this.
S4th: I think I’m Ted Forth with manlier hands. I need to go lie down.
AhClem
September 13th, 2008 at 9:05 am
Blondie – Dagwood paints his house almost as often as he fixes the plumbing under the kitchen sink.
FC – No, Dolly, it’s a tally of how many dead animals are buried in our backyard. And there’s room for another hash mark, if you get my drift.
GT – Ellington must have dropped some killer acid, judging from all the psychedelic sparkles going on in panel 3.
JP – “Hey, my wife Abby has a couple of those, but I don’t know what they are or what they’re for.”
MT – Why does Mark have one of Mary worth’s mustard-covered couch covers on his wall? It is a pelt from a recent
huntingpunching trip?JohnnyB
September 13th, 2008 at 9:08 am
Mark Trail
Panel 1: “Hey, little raccoon buddy, slow down” ….”let’s see your cash first.”
Panel 2: “Okay, go ahead. She’s 18, I swear.”
Panel 3: “Ha, a little raccoon on beaver action should sell great on the internet.”
“Let’s check the video!”
MonkeyHawk
September 13th, 2008 at 9:15 am
In Saturday’s A3G, Alan’s crack connection, Jones, lives with his Mom? Is his first name “Francis?”
JP — Cue the wah-wah peddle guitar. I hope Sam brought a pizza.
PBS — They’re making inflatable “Cathy” sex dolls now? I think I speak for everyone here when I say, “EEeeeeeeewwww!“
gleeb
September 13th, 2008 at 9:27 am
Brenda: He’s kind of a dumb kid, isn’t he?
A3G: Man, there’s nothing more frustrating than an unreliable drug pusher.
H&L: That’s a real thing!
Parker: Yes, another bikini-clad beauty. But that is that other thing? A lapdog? A bunny with the toothache?
Luann: Unlike Luann and her posse, when Brad goes to Weenie World, he actually gets a weenie.
Duck: Red Arrow: read in this direction, you slobs!
Other Coast: Mark Trail’s going to punch this woman. And I’m OK with that.
Brick Bradford
September 13th, 2008 at 9:29 am
JP so much of Judge Parker is like the start of one of those half hour soft core things they do on Cinemax, only without the payoff.
MT It’s like Andy knows who’s on the phone and is waiting his turn to talk.
DT However this plot shapes up–and crazed robot running amok seems to be the consensus–I think we’re going to see Braces crushed in one of it’s claws before we’re done, don’t you? Preferably in front of one of his children.
Trilobite
September 13th, 2008 at 10:07 am
Saturday’s comics:
Gil Thorp: Looks like the other team has installed WWII-era floating mines in the end zone, right where Ellington is about to run into them.
Judge Parker: Sometimes I wonder what the point of Judge Parker is…then I remember that it’s here to show us scantily-clad supermodels who fall hopelessly in lust with Sam Driver, and Sam’s stolid, nearly-robotic indifference to their busty charms.
Now I just need to figure out why they’re doing that, rather than doing stories about scantily-clad supermodels who fall hopelessly in lust with Sam and then get it on with him. Is there really a market for “Abstinence Fiction?”
Mark Trail: I have a hard time not seeing the third panel of Saturday’s strip as Mark practicing his ventriloquism. Can’t you just imagine him doing his high pitched “Ben Johnson on the phone” voice while he casts his eyes slyly over one shoulder to make sure that Cherry’s buying it? And then he gets to leave that horrible cabin of awkwardly-angled wall-rugs and go drink beer with beavers or drive around in a comically oversized car or whatever it is that he does when he’s not making fist-prints on the faces of bad guys.
Muffaroo-who-walks
September 13th, 2008 at 10:20 am
[From around midnight previous:]
ps: Hokey Smokes! Each strip is presented twice — once rightside up, and once — (you’re way ahead of me) — upside down! To paraphrase Moe Howard, Barnacle Press thinks of everything!
Okay, this time I’m going to bed.
[Didn't I press "Post" last night? Maybe I really was tired.]
Muffaroo-who-walks
September 13th, 2008 at 10:21 am
Jack Parsons @166 – Ah, good old Gigantor! Bigger than Big! Taller than tall! And intricately controlled by a black box with one lever on it that can be moved in one direction: forward. I used to call it the “Defeat Foe” lever, but realized on further viewing that Gigantor can also perform complex assignments with it, as well as raise his fists over his head, so I believe it’s actually the “Accomplish Task” lever. The more Bobby Bright (or Billy Button or whatever his name is) pushes that lever forward, the more successful Gigantor (“I must succeed!” — Astroboy clone on Freakazoid) Are you finished? …the more successful Gigantor is at performing whatever complicated maneuver he’s been given. Say what you will, that’s pretty impressive for a robot so simple that a thug with an X-ray Instamatic can snap one shot from the front that enables an evil scientist to make an exact duplicate.
Herbie @169 – “I’m going to try to wash off the sense of ick.” Funny, that’s just what the raccoon said!
A Lemur @171 – Ah, a voice emulator! Or maybe a wire recorder. The great T.H.U.N.D.E.R. Agents had a story where Dynamo’s bosses converted his Dynabelt to switch on and off with a voice command, for those times when he’s got his hands tied and still needs to power up. They key it to his voice saying “Excelsior!” Naturally, one of the villains has a brainwave “Remember, there used to be this comic where the kids says this secret word…?” and the crooks bring in a tape recorder and keep switching him off. The stalemate is broken when Len (aka Dynamo) punches the bad guy out anyway, with his own strength. Whew.
Urban Garlic @173! Vince M @175! – There’s too much brilliance here for me to keep on commenting individually. Sorry I can’t do justice, but I’ll probably be looking up at one or both of you, come next week. Be sure and wave back; you’ll probably meet me again on the way down.
Muffaroo-who-walks
September 13th, 2008 at 10:22 am
A3G – Poor Alan. I’d invite you over, but, dude, you’re out, so forget it.
FCircus – “I’m practicin’ for the political blogs!!!1!111!!!MCXI!!!
GAlley – I can’t believe Linda Tripp is giving up so easily. I’ll bet she has something up her sleeve. Yeccch.
JParker – excuse me. back in five minutes.
MTrail – Why is Mark carrying on both ends of this conversation?
bats :[
September 13th, 2008 at 10:32 am
Nothing like fresh air….sunshine….coconut oil…drinks with little umbrellas in them…
http://www.flickr.com/photos/9545446@N07/2853469492/sizes/o/
WarOfTheBees
September 13th, 2008 at 10:37 am
The stern look, the pointed finger, the admonishment to educate yourself…if I didn’t know any better (and Lord knows I wish I didn’t), I’d think that Mary is Toby’s loan shark.
“I’d hate to start breaking thumbs, but if you need a little education in taking out bets when you can’t pay up, Fingers Malone can teach you a few things.”
Baron Bizarre
September 13th, 2008 at 10:37 am
Snuffy Smith: Oh, sure, as though these hillbilies know what shampoo is…
Red Miso
September 13th, 2008 at 10:53 am
re Skullturf @ #80–
There was a Kids in the Hall skit where Bruce McCulloch played an earnest little kid telling the story of this boy in his class whose parents wouldn’t consent to a blood transfusion so they gave him apple juice instead. Come fall, he changed color, fell out of a tree and died!
bucky'swife
September 13th, 2008 at 10:53 am
Re: #107–I don’t think Bucky the Beaver is responsible for the disappearing water. Doesn’t anyone suspect the people who saved the airport by draining the swamp to get rid of the birds? Mark Trail wasn’t exactly pro-wetlands then….
Dingo
September 13th, 2008 at 10:58 am
Oh, no. Oh, no! That’s not Ben Johnson’s daughter but his niece. Now that the Lost Forest Lolita isn’t a direct relative, all types of shenanigans may ensue. I suspect in six months she’ll be on Jerry Springer in a shouting match with the raccoon.
odinthor
September 13th, 2008 at 11:09 am
GT — But . . . but why are they playing football in a store’s Christmas nativity scenes display?
Angry Kem
September 13th, 2008 at 11:10 am
Niall: Something may just have come up; I possibly won’t be able to make it, especially so early in the afternoon (that would have been iffy anyway). If I’m not there…sorry I missed you.
Everybody: the latest Middle English comic will be delayed until someone can give me some advice on a more goddamn efficient way of pasting the bloody text into the bloody comic. I managed the last two by pure luck. I can’t do anything with today’s. No matter what I try, the text turns all pixilated and is completely unreadable. I’ve tried changing the resolution of the comic. I’ve tried typing the text really huge and shrinking it. I’ve tried sacrificing virgins to the Gods of Photoshop. Nothing works. I have wasted an hour on this and have nothing to show for it. I’m not sure I can keep this up if the process is so stressful and fruitless. Bats, you seem to manage it almost effortlessly. Tell me, please, that there’s another way.
*End of impotent rant*
Poteet
September 13th, 2008 at 11:17 am
MT — I was told by a friend that incredibly large raccoons in certain East Coast parks routinely steal large knapsacks while the owners are gathered around their campfires. Here, coons steal birdfeeders, possibly in the hope that seed will continue to magically appear in them every day.
I also heard about a hapless and possibly Lu-Ann-type resident of a nearby town who started one summer by happily sharing half a peanut-butter-and-jelly sandwich with one raccoon in his backyard and ended the summer by frantically throwing sandwiches every night to about two dozen coons with serious attitude. If those wetlands are being drained by some guy with a beard, Mark might want to take the coon with him as backup.
Poteet
September 13th, 2008 at 11:21 am
# 193 — Angry Kem, I am so sorry. Thank you for trying so hard for us. I hope you will get the assistance you need. I feel a little guilty for urging you on in this endeavor. Stupid, stupid Photoshop! *mentally kicks it hard*
MaggieMarvel
September 13th, 2008 at 11:35 am
I am admittedly a dirty tree-hugging bleeding-heart liberal hippie, but I must admit that seeing that random balding fellow apparently punting a raccoon at his child.
“There ain’t enough water for both of us these days, kid. Nothing personal.”
MaggieMarvel
September 13th, 2008 at 11:35 am
Seeing the raccoon punt rather amused me, I meant to say.
Curse my unworking brain!
queek
September 13th, 2008 at 11:38 am
JP: “and how!”
PBS: ack! (and win)
GF: today’s made up for a weeks worth of fail.
FW: guess Crazy isn’t gettin’ any tonight.
Phantom: if this is going into “release the rabid bats” territory, it belongs in S-M with the other lame plots.
Muffaroo-who-walks
September 13th, 2008 at 11:51 am
Angry Kem – Considering that Middle English is usually wordier than our modern patois, fitting it into the balloons (especially in a somewhat ornate typeface) is an uphill battle. I wouldn’t hold it against you if you just did it the way you started out, with the captions below the comic.
Muffaroo-who-walks
September 13th, 2008 at 11:52 am
Archie – In a secret closet at the Jones house, there’s a cursed painting of Jughead as Fatty McFatfat O’Creosote (ps: Fat). This is the only possible explanation of his gobbling trays full of burgers and avoiding all exercise while remaining wafer thin.
DTracy – Tracy’s voice control? Which Tracy voice? Morgan Conway? Ralph Byrd? Warren Bleeding Beatty? Bob Burlen? Barry Thompson? Ned Wever? Matt Crowley? Everett Sloane? Ray MacDonnell?
A Lemur
September 13th, 2008 at 11:52 am
Muffaroo-who-walks@184: T.H.U.N.D.E.R. Agents! Oh man, those were great, especially when drawn by Wally Wood. I vaguely remember that episode. As I recall Dynamo was none-too-bright on his best days, I’m surprised they gave him a tough word like ‘Excelsior’ instead of something he could remember like ‘bisquit’.
Overall the giant robot is pretty lame for Diet, I mean, this is the guy who invented the magnetic space coup and those floating garbage can thingys. Look at this thing, it doesn’t even have a drill-borer extension. At least, not one we’ve seen so far…
Okay… that’s not an image I needed in my head…
commodorejohn
September 13th, 2008 at 11:55 am
Well, the Chron site is still up; I hope the paper itself is so lucky. Friggin’ hurricanes.
A3G – Oh man! Now Tommie is selling drugs? Oh wait, no, that’s just some other bland, short-haired woman.
BR – Giant robot-assisted panty raid = epic win.
BS – Can we nominate fictional characters for the Darwin Awards?
Crankshaft – Ha ha! Women are dumb! Ha ha wait what?
DT – Okay, place your bets on how long it takes before Dick goes mad with power, and what form that madness will take. (My guesses: six days our time, and a campaign of extermination for every lawbreaker in the city.)
Dilbert – Hey! Dilbert’s mouth!
FC – Actually, it’s a page of 255s.
FW – So…I guess if you bore Mrs. Crazy with small talk, the “trap” is shut for the evening? Or is there some less blue-balling meaning to this of which I am unaware?
GA – The disembodied hand from Gil Thorp makes a guest appearance in today’s Gasoline Alley. Also, whoever this woman was meant to be, she’s gradually turning into a haggard Barbara Streisand.
GT – “He’ll go all the way! If he’s not abducted by these UFOs!”
HTH – “Don’t pretend you didn’t notice the anachronistically-dressed woman! Oh wait, we’re pretty much surrounded by anachronisms as it is.”
H&L – Unsurprisingly, this is a real product. However, you may want to go to a little more effort in smuggling it than the model. I suggest a large coat.
JP – Ah, Baretto, you never disappoint. But…next time, could you leave that creepy Neverending Story thing out?
Lockhorns – Interestingly enough, what I did yesterday seems to make any given Lockhorns strip funnier. Were I more dedicated to the concept, I could start a website on this theme.
MT – When I first saw that last panel, I assumed that the rug was actually a spinning-picture transition, like on the old Adam West Batman. It seemed to fit the general motif of today’s strip.
Marmaduke – Please GOD let there be an explanation for why the Winslows had Marmaduke in a motel that isn’t the one I’m thinking of. Oh, never mind, I’ll never get that image out of my brain anyway.
MW – Oh, now it makes sense. There really isn’t a Mrs. Bryson, or we would have seen her in person. Mary just has different personas she does her meddling in and multiple lines in to her Secret Meddling Lair.
Monty – Was he working with a Pierson’s Puppeteer, by any chance?
MC – I love this strip.
PBS – Rat, Duck, Snuffles, you three are my new heroes.
Popeye – I was going to point out that Swee’Pea’s tiny body isn’t going to produce nearly enough heat to incubate an egg that large, but then I considered the mass of rotting offal that must accumulate in that sack he moves around in. If anything, he probably cooked it.
SM – “No one else coulda overturned that car with his bare hands! What, ‘dya think we live in a world with super-powered mutants and mad geniuses in every nook and cranny or somethin’?”
Angry Kem
September 13th, 2008 at 11:56 am
#199 Muffaroo: That’s not even the problem. If necessary, I can make the balloons bigger. The problem is getting the damn font not to look damn. Bloody. Pixilated! Rage! Rage! Rage…
I mean, other people can do it. Why can’t I? What am I doing wrong?
I am somewhat calmer now, as I just spent half an hour hitting myself in the face with juggling clubs. I am not entirely sure why this self-flagellation has lessened my frustration, but oh well.
Islamorada Girl
September 13th, 2008 at 11:58 am
O rare Ben Johnson!
commodorejohn
September 13th, 2008 at 12:05 pm
#203 Angry Kem – It doesn’t actually look that pixilated to me, but if you are having problems with that, I would imagine the problem is that the Chron comics are saved as GIFs, which is an indexed-color format, so image-editing programs can’t smooth it out to look better. If you make it a 24-bit color image, that should resolve the problem. To do this:
* In Paint: choose “File->Save As” and select “24-bit bitmap” from the drop-down box, then open the new copy of the file. Save as PNG when you’re done.
* In Photoshop: choose “Image->Mode->RGB.” Save as PNG when you’re done.
C. Havoc
September 13th, 2008 at 12:06 pm
MT: “Pop. How are you, and how are your wife and your neice Pamela?”
Who talks like that? Oh yeah, Mark does.
JP: Josh, I never read Judge Parker until I started following your blog. Today, (Saturday), the Blond was reading over my shoulder and suggested I send you a thank-you note.
Carter
September 13th, 2008 at 12:14 pm
Toby’s got three days to be kidnapped by Nigerians, or this is officially the lamest Mary Worth storyline in years.
Angry Kem
September 13th, 2008 at 12:14 pm
#205 commodorejohn: No, see, those two comics were the ones in which everything accidentally went right. The one I’m working on now is the pixilated one…and the pixilation is happening before I save it, while it’s still a PSD file. Basically, the typeface will not come out smooth, no matter what I do. It does not look like the typeface in the B.C. and FC comics I posted. It looks as if it may have been created by Robbie the Robot. And there seems to be nothing I can do to change this…even though I somehow did it before (laboriously…by typing it in 30-point font in another document, flattening the image, copying the text, pasting it into the B.C. comic–it didn’t work when pasted into FC–shrinking it, copying it again, and moving it to its designated space. This seems to me to be an unnecessarily involved process. Besides, it isn’t working any more. And, yes, I have also tried a multitude of less fiddly ways, including just typing the damn text into the space). I’m clearly doing something wrong, but I don’t know what it is.
Oh, Photoshoppe…howe ich hate thee…
Niall
September 13th, 2008 at 12:16 pm
Angry Kem: Bleah, too bad you can’t make it. Normally I take the 7pm flight out, but it was sold out at the low prices already when I checked them out.
commodorejohn
September 13th, 2008 at 12:19 pm
#208 Angry Kem – But you are editing it in RGB mode, right? And is it the same font as before? And, just to double-check, what is the anti-aliasing (the little box next to the font size in the text toolbar) set to?
A Lemur
September 13th, 2008 at 12:23 pm
Poteet@194: A friend of mine left a large 30 # bag of cat food on his porch intending to bring it in later. So I’m visiting, and we hear a thump from the porch. We go out, and a giant mutant raccoon is dragging the bag away. It drops the bag and makes a noise at us that suggests that it is not in fact a raccoon, but nether-spawn from the pit in raccoon form. My friend and I looked at each other and by mutal consent, waved bye-bye to the bag disappearing into the bushes, went back in the kitchen and opened a bottle of whiskey. They’re not only mean, they can scare the bejeezus out of you.
Industria
September 13th, 2008 at 12:24 pm
I’ve always kinda of wondered why (and been weirded out by) the fact that Ian is a fat, old dude and Tobey is a skinny, young lady. Judging from panel two of today’s MW, it’s apparent that Ian isn’t into Tobey for her intelligence.
P.S. I love how Mary looks pissed off as she demands Tobey EDUCATE [HER]SELF!.
Angry Kem
September 13th, 2008 at 12:27 pm
#210 commodorejohn: It seems I wasn’t in RGB mode, but now I am, and it hasn’t helped. Robbie is still in charge. Yes, it’s the same font as before. I do not have a little anti-aliasing box next to the font-size box (I’m in Photoshop Elements, not the full version, so it may be set up differently).
commodorejohn
September 13th, 2008 at 12:28 pm
#211 A Lemur – Would that be the noise that sounds like a tribble giving birth?
A Lemur
September 13th, 2008 at 12:31 pm
Commodorejohn: If that tribble was a 12 pack a day cigarette smoker, yes…
commodorejohn
September 13th, 2008 at 12:32 pm
#213 Angry Kem – Drat, I can’t help you with Elements, but the manual I found online states that there is (or should be) an anti-alias box on the text toolbar. Is part of the toolbar obscured, by any chance? Try moving it around in the window and see if the box was just hidden.
commodorejohn
September 13th, 2008 at 12:33 pm
#215 A Lemur – Yep. All raccoons make that noise. (Whether or not that means that all raccoons are nether-spawn from the Pit is still open for debate, though.)
El Santo
September 13th, 2008 at 12:35 pm
Dick Tracy-bot for the win! For once, the weeks of build-up was actually worth it!
And now I can’t get the Voltes V theme song out of my head.
commodorejohn
September 13th, 2008 at 12:38 pm
#213 Angry Kem – P.S. you could also try clicking in the text-size box to put your text cursor there (while entering some text, so you can see any potential results,) then hitting the tab key to switch to the anti-alias box, wherever it’s gotten to, and pressing the down arrow to change the anti-alias selection and see if that does anything.
If that doesn’t work, I really don’t know how to help you.
El Santo
September 13th, 2008 at 12:39 pm
Also, Dick Tracy is now coming perilously close to this:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AdA6iRk94Hc
It even has the phone watch and everything.
Big O… ACTION!
lovetoykilljoy
September 13th, 2008 at 12:39 pm
Please, lean her back so I don’t have look into her dead doll eyes.
Angry Kem
September 13th, 2008 at 12:40 pm
#216 commodorejohn: There’s an unidentified box that seems to be set to “(Auto)”; when I mouse over it, the little yellow tag says, “Set the leading.” That’s the only thing on the toolbar that could be what you’re referring to.
Here’s what the text looks like at the moment. (No, this is not Middle English; it’s just me being frustrated.) I’ve got examples of two font sizes in there; the second two bits of text are bolded.
Sorry for all the trouble. If necessary, I’ll go back to text-only versions. I’d rather learn to do this properly, but I don’t want to waste anyone’s time.
A Lemur
September 13th, 2008 at 12:42 pm
Angry Kem: In regular photoshop off the text tool bar there’s a drop down box that has options like ’strong’, ’smooth’, etc. Not sure if that exists in elements, but if it does try adjusting those and see if it changes the font appearance.
If nothing else works, then try this: Create a new file same size as the other one, and make sure that it’s 24-bit RGB. Then try typing in some text. If the text looks good, then in your original file, copy your image layer out (does elements support layers? If not, get rid of your text, select all, copy, and paste your image to the new file.
If your text still looks pixelated, we’ll try something else.
Red Greenback
September 13th, 2008 at 12:46 pm
AK: If it’s not letting you anti alias, try to make a seperate layer for the fonts at 200%, then place it back to your original at 50%. Hope this helps.
Angry Kem
September 13th, 2008 at 12:50 pm
#223 A Lemur: Tried it. The text is still pixilated. Tried another font. The text is still pixilated. Tried another font size. The text is still pixilated.
Photoshop Elements doesn’t have that particular drop-down box. However…I believe I do actually have temporary access to the full version of Photoshop through my place of employment; there’s this weird online-access thing we’ve got. I’ll try that. I’m not used to the full version, but oh well; I’ve got today free, so I may as well frustrate myself a bit.
A Lemur
September 13th, 2008 at 12:51 pm
AK: Also, again not sure if this is an option in elements, but right click on the text layer and see if there’s an option to ‘rasterize’ text. This converts it to a bitmap and often automaticaly smooth out the text…
A Lemur
September 13th, 2008 at 12:55 pm
AK: Also, on the ‘let’s check the really unobvious stuff’ take a look at what your resolution setting are for your monitor.
Anonymous
September 13th, 2008 at 12:57 pm
#98 Probably a raccoon. They’re intelligent and have hands.
John C Fremont
September 13th, 2008 at 1:00 pm
# 226 A Lemur – I read “rasterize” as “rastarize” and thought you were referring to yesterday’s PBS.
GT – It’s been a long, long time since I last saw Slaughterhouse Five, but I’m pretty sure Milford is playing in the Billy Pilgrim Dome.
Phantom – And soon, Chatu will release these little killers on an unwitting public and rule the world!* Africa’s mosquitoes and moths tremble in fear.
*For today’s episode, the part of Chatu was played by Dr. Clayton Forrester. The other part of Chatu was played by Sir Rupert Carpet who found a pair of swimming trunks on his head and was surprised…**
**Footnotes by Viv Stanshal and Neil Innes.
MW – And after Mary’s “intervention”;
“My name is Toby, and I have a problem.”
“Hi, Toby.”
RMMD – The sign in the back says “Hospice” and “Oct.” How long is thing going to drag out? (A rhetorical question since this will obviously wrap up just in time for Thanksgiving.)
JP – I love you, Eduardo Barreto, and I want to bear your children! (Hat tip to Lola Heatherton.)
GA – Where the hell’s that meteor?!
MT – “Pop, how are you, and how are your wife, Shirley, and that duck? Oh, wrong bald old guy.”
In that last panel, Mark looks just a little like a young Gene Kelly. That reminds me of Cyd Charisse. That makes me sad.
John C Fremont
September 13th, 2008 at 1:04 pm
# 229 – L.*
* The missing letter from Viv’s last name. Oops.
Angry Kem
September 13th, 2008 at 1:06 pm
OKAY!
I think I may have figured it out. In Elements, the way to turn the anti-aliasing on appears to be to right-click on the text layer, at which point certain options appear. There is, of course, no indication elsewhere that this is a possibility at all. You just sort of have to know.
It is possible that I may be all right now. Thanks for all your help, everybody.
CanuckDownSouth
September 13th, 2008 at 1:07 pm
202-commodorejohn Far be it from me to attempt to be a voice of, uh, moderation, but I’m certain the FW “trap” is the daughter’s trap to get dad fully involved in coaching her toward her driver’s license in the minimum amount of time humanly possible. The wife saying it in bed is only because FW is showing a late end of the day. No innuendo. Really.
But a real parent should have forced the daughter to give up one or the other activity. She’s not 5 – it’s her responsibility.
Muffaroo-who-walks
September 13th, 2008 at 1:18 pm
commodorejohn @217 – Friend of mine used to have a pet raccoon (named Charlie, which was mandatory then). One day we had the idea of setting up a mirror on the floor for Charlie to find. Big success! He inflated to twice his size and levitated four inches. Friend ran for his 8mm movie camera, but of course, the repeat wasn’t as good as the original.
commodorejohn
September 13th, 2008 at 1:22 pm
#231 Angry Kem – Man, what is it with big-name software companies and stupid, unnecessary interfaces changes? *cough*Office2007*cough* Glad you figured it out, at any rate.
A Lemur
September 13th, 2008 at 1:22 pm
AK: All right! Yeah, Adobe is rather notorious for the way it hides options like that, and then on the next release, will move them somewhere else. I once spent half a day after an upgrade trying to figure out where they moved the ‘underline text’ button to on the text properties box, and I used to teach a photoshop class.
It really is a great program, and there is an underlying logic to it, but man, some days…
commodorejohn
September 13th, 2008 at 1:24 pm
#233 Muffaroo-who-walks – We had a pet raccoon for a while when I was a kid; they’re the most spastic animals I’ve ever seen aside from ferrets, which are at least smaller and more manageable.
Uncle Balustrade
September 13th, 2008 at 1:28 pm
MT: As Peter Griffin might say: “I don’t want to be ‘this’ guy, but proper english would be “I wish it WERE that easy.” A pet peeve of mine. Sentance fragment there. Mispelled “sentence”. Mispelled “misspell”. Say, where did I leave my credit card, by the way?
Hibbleton
September 13th, 2008 at 2:03 pm
Toby’s airhead must be filled with helium. She doesn’t have enough weight to cause a wrinkle in the bed she’s sitting on. That, or, they have a super deluxe hard mattress to support Ian’s massive torso.
BTW, I don’t think Baldy was kicking the same raccoon from panel 1 in yesterday’s MT. I believe that’s a stuffed, raccoon doorstop he was resting his foot on. When you live off the land, you make do. It’s nature’s way.
Angry Kem
September 13th, 2008 at 2:10 pm
*Gasp*
At last…many, many wasted hours later…the Middle English Apartment 3G is up.
The good news is that I’m pretty sure I’ll be able to work fairly swiftly from now on. Thank you, People Who Told Me About Anti-Aliasing. You are awesome.
I would also like to say that I still hate Marvin. At least the copy-and-pasted Baby Hulk didn’t make an appearance today.
Skullturf Q. Beavispants
September 13th, 2008 at 2:11 pm
Niall (and Kem, if you can make it), 1:00 to 2:00 at Clinton’s on Sunday sounds good to me.
I can also be reached by email at idmercer “at” yorku “dot” ca
and if you’re wondering how to recognize me, I look exactly like the redhaired guy at the previous Toronto meetup.
Sobek
September 13th, 2008 at 3:12 pm
If there’s one thing I’ve learned from today’s Mark Trail, it’s that there are few problems that can’t be solved by kicking a raccoon in the butt.
Harold
September 13th, 2008 at 3:18 pm
The Phantom is gearing up for a spinoff series Chatu: Bat Wrangler.
So either these bats are Chatu’s thousands of followers, or his evil plan involves removing a major predator of the most dangerous animals in Africa – mosquitoes, responsible for more human deaths annually than lions, hippos, and water buffalo put together.*
*Based on something I’m pretty sure I read once. More information about mosquito-borne illness in Africa can be found on the Internet.
Orange Doorhinge
September 13th, 2008 at 3:25 pm
193 Angry Kem: Try “simplifying” or “flattening” the text before transferring it.
True Fable
September 13th, 2008 at 3:37 pm
Mark Trail’s fists can out-punch Chuck Norris.
That’s a fact.
chris
September 13th, 2008 at 3:49 pm
What’s up with Arlo and Janis today?
NJR
September 13th, 2008 at 3:50 pm
“Some people don’t know and probably don’t know how much wetlands mean to our wildlife,” Paw remarked, nonchalantly kicking a raccoon.
Harold
September 13th, 2008 at 4:09 pm
If anybody needs me, I’ll be over here, reading today’s Judge Parker. Over and over and over…
ka-pwingg
September 13th, 2008 at 4:09 pm
“You’ve got to be kidding me, Diet! no way I can operate that thing with my tiny midget T-Rex arms!”
Trilobite
September 13th, 2008 at 4:10 pm
I just got back from a wonderfully fun lunch with Ah Clem in Minnesota (no cameras were present, so you’ll just have to take my word for it), and I was reminded of something about Mark Trail that I just don’t understand.
The usual opener for a Mark Trail storyline involves someone with some kind of vaguely nature-related problem (dangerous beavers, vanishing wetlands, hirsute developers, whatever) calling on their “old friend Mark” for help. But…WHY are these people friends with Mark Trail?
Seriously, Mark has all the charisma, all the human warmth, all the outgoing friendliness of your typical hotel ice machine. Insert bucket, press button, get face-punch, that’s the kind of social interaction that Mark’s best at. But all these people consider him a friend? What the hell is going on there that I can’t see that makes these people so damn happy to share space with that oily-haired khaki-clad robot? Why would he even be on their Christmas card list, let alone be the first guy they think of calling when their fragile world is on the brink of collapse and they need rescuing?
It’s inexplicable. There’s literally nothing in the comic to support the concept of liking Mark as a person. Maybe he’s pine-scented or something? I don’t know, I’m just desperately digging for some reason, ANY reason why you’d want to even shake hands with the dude.
Angry Kem
September 13th, 2008 at 4:13 pm
#249 Trilobite: Mark Trail probably has a very firm handshake. Some people get off on that sort of thing.
Artist formerly known as Ben
September 13th, 2008 at 4:14 pm
9/13
A3G: The Mrs is wholesome and sweet, all wrapped up in a pink bathrobe. Clearly Jones has no place in his life for Haleys.
FC: All work and no play makes Dolly a dull girl. All work and no play makes Dolly a dull girl. All work and no play…
FW: I think what Mrs Crazy Harry is saying is, “Oh snap! You go there girlfriend.”
SSmith: If I look any more at Lukey’s pubic-looking beard, my breakfast is gonna rebel.
MT: “Ben Jonson? Calm down, friend. I know Bill Shakespeare is getting all the glory. But at least everyone gives you credit for writing your own stuff.”
PBS: Cathy Guisewite let Pastis use her fictional avatar, but she wouldn’t license the trademark “Ack!”
H&L: Okay, don’t let Thirsty drive. And I mean, not ever.
JP: Here’s how I think today’s script read.
MW: Seeing this installment out of context, it would look much like Toby is taking out a hit. Except that if she did, she would finish by saying, “So Mr. Vitelli, do you take American Express?”
Garfield: You have exactly one mouse, Arbuckle. Buy a hamster wheel or a pet snake, and the pest problem is solved.
BC: Here’s a better answer for Wiley. Look down and the answer will come to you.
OBH: Aren’t saving and not spending basically the same thing? I’m starting to worry about Grandpa.
GT: “Yes! Ellington will go all the way. If you buy him a six-pack and take him to a Hong Kong action movie. Trust your Uncle Marty on this one.”
Chert the Chort
September 13th, 2008 at 4:21 pm
I’m less worried about the ‘coon’s freshness in panel 1, than I am its proximity to the girl’s pelvis in panel 2.
Freakishness.
Harold
September 13th, 2008 at 4:23 pm
Say, aren’t Chatu’s nets full of Flying Foxes, not bats? Which, according to the definitively inaccurate Wkipedia article ( http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pteropus ) are neither killers, nor found on mainland Africa.
Ben Johnson sure has fallen on hard times since the doping scandal. But assuming the little girl who calls him “Papa” is his neice Pamela, could the omnipresent raccoon actually be his wife?
queek
September 13th, 2008 at 4:58 pm
253: Flying Foxes are a type of bat. Large, diurnal, fruit-eating bats.
Poteet
September 13th, 2008 at 4:59 pm
# 211 A Lemur — I think you made a very wise decision. And you may have saved your own life if raccoons take over the planet. Your name may now be inscribed in their List of Humans To Possibly Spare.
# 239 Angry Kem — BWAHAHA! I laughed so hard I scared my cats.
A Lemur
September 13th, 2008 at 5:26 pm
Poteet: I for one welcome our new Raccoon overlords.
Seriously, the day I run across a Raccoon with a toolbelt I’m kow-towing with the best of them.
Angry Kem: Nice job and fun blog by the way. Glad I could be of help with my flurry of semi-effective suggestions.
Little Guy
September 13th, 2008 at 5:30 pm
JP: YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! Thank you! Thank you! I haven’t been this excited since Dave Roberts crossed home plate in Game Four. Behold the Power of the Mungeon!
S-M: Spidey’s sense of detective work has inspired me to get a sex change, dress up like the Tot Mom, and go down to Florida to search for Caylee. Maybe I can stop by those group of people with candles and signs…
Dagwood: You know, he’s right. I’ve always hated that saying as well, and it makes no good sense. I think it’s the verbal version of someone waking up a person by repeatedly shaking the head from a long slumber.
Big Nate: The part of Nate’s Dad is being played by Calvin’s Dad.
Angry Kem
September 13th, 2008 at 5:40 pm
#256 A Lemur: Actually, you were the one who inadvertently solved my problem by suggesting I right-click on the text layer. It didn’t have the effect you intended, but it had the effect I wanted, so that was all right.
Personally, I have always felt that raccoons were quite evil but squirrels were more evil. If the Star Wars universe were populated entirely by Earth animals, Darth Vader would be a raccoon, but Palpatine would almost certainly be a squirrel.
“Uuuuuuunnnnnnlllllllliiiiiiiiimmmmmmmiiiiiiteeeeed poooooooooowwwwwwwwwweeeeeeeerrrr!” would sound quite menacing if squealed in a tiny little squirrel voice.
A Lemur
September 13th, 2008 at 6:21 pm
Angry Kem: You’re right about the squirrels, without the bushy tail people would go, ‘hey, there’s a rat sitting in that tree…’
Menacing yes, but slightly less effective if Emperor Palpatine mumbled it around cheeks stuffed with acorns…
Darth Raccoon: What? What? By the force Sith Lord, spit those damn things out. You just sent the destroyer fleet to bombard Chuwumba the dairy planet.
Harold
September 13th, 2008 at 6:23 pm
Angry Kem, you mean like this?
http://mine.icanhascheezburger.com/view.aspx?ciid=913603
Now, maybe I can use Dean Booth’s HeyLookHear ( http://heylookhear.com/ ) to add sound…
Angry Kem
September 13th, 2008 at 6:29 pm
#260 Harold: Yes. Yes. Exactly like that.
You have confirmed my suspicions about the squirrels. They are going to take over eventually.
bats :[
September 13th, 2008 at 6:46 pm
247. Harold re JP: I’d direct you to this, but this isn’t likely the reason you’re reading the strip over and over and over:
http://www.flickr.com/photos/9545446@N07/2853469492/sizes/o/
(repeat from earlier in this thread)
John C Fremont
September 13th, 2008 at 6:53 pm
# 239 Angry Kem – It’s sad, but even in Middle English Alan still sounds like a Jack Webb character.
# 247 – You and me both, Harold. Except that I’m not so much reading as – well, you know.
# 253 Harold (again) – I thought that at first too, but aren’t flying foxes orange? (Flying foxes are also awesome, but’s neither here nor there.) Maybe the Phantom bats were supposed to be orange, though. Maybe there was a coloring error. Or maybe they thought no one would notice. But whatever they are, those Phantom bats sure are cute. Screek indeed, my pretties.
AhClem
September 13th, 2008 at 6:59 pm
MW – If this storyline turns into a month-long PSA about identity theft, I’m going to have to re-read the Liz/Blargthony wedding strips from FOOB to get that stale taste out of my mouth.
Good God, what am I saying?
Vince M
September 13th, 2008 at 7:00 pm
253: Usually when I see bats on a tv show or movie they’re flying foxes – I’m guessing they’re easier to train or wrangle. Cases in point are a loose bat in ‘The Office’ and a sinister bat-filled instrument of death in ‘The Abominable Dr. Phibes’, which looked pretty harmless unless the intended victim was made of fruit.
Why they needed to be used in a comic strip, now, I can’t say.
Dingo
September 13th, 2008 at 7:46 pm
Niall, remember to take photos to document meeting others. I hope you have a great afternoon at Clinton’s!
Karen
September 13th, 2008 at 7:56 pm
Good God, raccoons are bascally striped, fluffy rats. Giant rats with clever little hands.
In panel 2, I was rooting for Baldy. “Step on that thing before it gets to the children!”
bats :[
September 13th, 2008 at 8:01 pm
265. Vince M: the little bats (the ones who fly at night, vampires, pipestrelles, Myotis) are little! Even the Big Brown bat doesn’t have much of a stage presence (”oooh, here’s a whopper! the wingspan is wider than your hand!”).
Fruit bats/flying foxes are big, diurnal, and are easier to handle. While a bat rehab demonstration or a wild animal demon might have smaller bats to show off, they’re usually in a box and people have to crowd around to see them. Fruit bats don’t mind hanging off a handler’s hand, stretching out their big wings, and hamming it up.
Nanoman and Minimiss
September 13th, 2008 at 8:21 pm
I love the fact that in the time it took Mary Worth to pull out her chair in panel one and sit in it in panel two, she manages to build a “head-shelf” for the ditzy blonde with the limp neck. Like an old-fashioned doll, she can neither support the weight of her own head – despite its lack of contents – nor open her eyelids if at more than a 45 degree tilt (I bet she walks in circles). Luckily, industrious Mary Worth is at hand to save the poor gel’s floppy spine.
Duckman30
September 13th, 2008 at 8:24 pm
MW – “I have a problem that I hope you can help me with! Someone took my picture and I’m afraid they’ve stolen my soul!”
If this torturous identity theft issue, cleared up by one phone call, goes on much longer, Toby will have proven that she’s tough enough for the Jungle Patrol.
Canuckguy
September 13th, 2008 at 8:32 pm
It seems like the latest trend in comic strips is to take time jumps: first Funky Winkerbean jumps forward ten years, then FOOB jumps back something like 25 years – and, as someone who likes to peek at the end of the book first so I can skip the boring parts, I say all the strips should do this: jump Marvin two years back so we are spared his “witty” banter, jump Marmaduke forward ten years to see Marmaduke’s last moments, dying happily after having feasted on the bones of his overseers, and jump Judge Parker … any direction for any amount you want, really, it’ll still be on the same storyline.
Norm
September 13th, 2008 at 8:48 pm
So much is said with Toby’s eyes in panel two. “Gee Mary, you always know what to do. Golly, you’re so smart… and handsome. Do you have a girlfriend?”
Why does Toby always put her trust in the meddling Worth? Stockholm syndrome?
Never teh Bride
September 13th, 2008 at 8:50 pm
I just don’t think it’s right that he’s kicking that raccoon.
Islamorada Girl
September 13th, 2008 at 9:01 pm
MT: Actually, I think O Rare Ben Johnson is petting that raccoon with the toe of his boot. I used to do that with the dog, when I was sitting in a chair and he wanted attention. I hope they’re all up to date on their rabies shots. Chatu and his bats, too.
Muffaroo-who-walks
September 13th, 2008 at 9:31 pm
GThorp – The way this is drawn, it looked for a second like #21 had his entire head up #81’s rectum, instead of merely having his left arm in, up to the elbow.
H&Jamaal – Joke’s on Homer. Herb’s bank pays off in white slips of paper with the word “MONEY” printed on them.
Pluggers – “I could have sworn I had another quart of oil in here.” Hey, plugger! Try looking in your hair!
Ol'Froth
September 13th, 2008 at 9:31 pm
I’m not sure about raccoons, but working in a park, I have to “dispose” of quite a few groundhogs suffering from various ailments. That said, 00 buckshot does a much better job than balding blondie’s boot.
Foolster41
September 13th, 2008 at 9:48 pm
86: Is the pigeon drop the one at the beginning of The Sting?
Niall
September 13th, 2008 at 9:56 pm
240. Skullturf: Yay! I hope Quincy’s is the pub I remember which has games available for patrons to use/play near the entrance… but Quincy’s it shall be.
I’ve linked this entry’s name to a photo of me – and I’ll have that cap on with me for easy ID. :)
Mooncattie
September 13th, 2008 at 9:59 pm
#249 Trilobite, re: MT – I would like to believe that there could exist a healthy dose of sarcasm among the folks who are considered to be “old friends” of Mark Trail. As in:
POP JOHNSON: You know who may be able to help us? Our friend Mark Trail!
DISTURBINGLY PETITE 19-YEAR-OLD NIECE PAM: (leaning back suggestively) Yeah, let’s call him! That oughta be good for a few laughs…
The only other theory re: calling Mark Trail for help, is to go through him to get to Andy the Dog, the REAL brains of the outfit!
Ben Johnson meanwhile has aged rather poorly since his glory days at the Seoul Olympics, but he is bright enough to have his face clean-shaven in anticipation of his meeting with Mr. Trail. He’s even shaved his cranium above the eyebrow line to be on the safe side.
Niall, Skullturf – I shall try and make it to Clinton’s for 1pm on Sunday if I wake up in time. I’m consuming a lot of Hacker-Pschorr Oktoberfest this evening, and have just taken delivery of a new bed from Sleep Country Canada (for our American friends, it’s an iconic mattress store with a friendly radio jingle “Why buy a mattress anywhere else?”). I’m weaving in between drinking MORE Hacker-Pschorr Oktoberfest, falling asleep on a frighteningly comfortable new bed, and worrying myself sick over why I might have bought a mattress anywhere else.
Mooncattie
September 13th, 2008 at 10:01 pm
#278 Niall – So you’re on for Quincy’s at 1pm?
Angry Kem
September 13th, 2008 at 10:12 pm
Late 270s: So is it Quincy’s or Clinton’s? What’s Quincy’s? Is there a Quincy’s? Argh!
I may be there. Stuff has been cancelled. It depends what happens with the TFR, though.
Mooncattie
September 13th, 2008 at 10:17 pm
Yes, where is this “Quincy’s”? I’m Google-ing one in Halifax!
Niall
September 13th, 2008 at 10:19 pm
258 Angry Kem / 259 A Lemur: It may be for the best that I’m not home with my drawing implements nearby… Funny stuff. :)
266. Dingo: I do have my camera! I just need batteries…
Uh, Clinton’s, yes. I typed Quincy’s without thinking. I’ve gone to bed at 3am the last two nights preparing for this weekend. Right now, all that’s keeping me awake is the power of handmade French chocolatier’s confections I brought from a new store back home.
Yes, I do have some left over, why do you ask? :) :)
So, pub at Bloor and near Christie; I remember it as across the street and at the croner from the Annex sub shop, and there were a few board and card games for patrons’ use near the entrance, always a good hallmark of a nice neighbourhood pub.
Angry Kem
September 13th, 2008 at 10:22 pm
Niall: I’m not sure Clinton’s has board games (I don’t remember it as having them, and I’ve been there several times), so maybe we’re thinking of different places…but it’ll do. Clinton’s is on the corner of Bloor and Clinton, I believe (basically one block east of Christie).
Niall
September 13th, 2008 at 10:23 pm
Yes, definitely Clinton’s:
http://www.dine.to/clintons
The image matches my memory.
Skullturf Q. Beavispants
September 13th, 2008 at 10:26 pm
See y’all there!
Mooncattie
September 13th, 2008 at 10:30 pm
Clinton’s! Hurrah!
Niall
September 13th, 2008 at 10:34 pm
Neat! Depending on when I wake up, I’ll have my friend drop me off at Bowlerama West for a few games before taking the TTC eastwards (he’s in Mississausage) and I should be there in plenty of time – I want to get there to eat first. :)
Niall
September 13th, 2008 at 10:35 pm
…and we should probably let the others resume the comics discussions… :)
Angry Kem
September 13th, 2008 at 10:44 pm
#289: Well, nobody seems to be around.
But just in case anybody is:
Is Mary Worth the devil?
Discuss.
Joe Btfsplk
September 13th, 2008 at 10:47 pm
Judge Parker – “Is this Dewey Cheatham’s house?”
“And how it is!”
Sorry; I feel a need to do that, every time.
TB Tabby
September 13th, 2008 at 10:52 pm
While we’re on that subject…know what the only thing dumber than using that name for a law firm in a soap opera comic is?
Using it for an actual credit fraud scheme.
bats :[
September 13th, 2008 at 11:06 pm
Hey, you Torontoans (aren’t those the big hairy beasts that Luke and Han rode on in The Empire Strikes Back?) — keep down the excitement…some of us are 2500 miles away! Don’t make us contact LJ and tell her there’s a book signing at Clinton’s.
Clinton’s sounds neat…pub food and Chinese cuisine! Who could ask for more! Have FUN! (How could you not?!)
Skullturf Q. Beavispants
September 13th, 2008 at 11:12 pm
(Ahem.) “Torontonians”, thank you very much.
(Sigh.)
:)
commodorejohn
September 13th, 2008 at 11:21 pm
#293 bats :[ – Actually, I don’t know about you, but I think a visit with the Empress of Corbeil herself would be a perfect capper to a ‘Mudge meet-up. Imagine all the cleverly subtle insinuations we rascally snarkers could put forth about her relationship with her children!
Angry Kem
September 13th, 2008 at 11:24 pm
#293 and #295: Someone should invite her. I double-dog-dare you all. I myself am too much of a coward.
#294: Or “Trawnonians,” of course…but that’s a local pronunciation.
Poteet
September 13th, 2008 at 11:32 pm
# 290 Angry Kem — Or, alternatively, was Mary Worth perhaps sent to Charterstone as the result of a powerful curse? I seem to see an elderly widow whose land was all she had in the world, cheated by a heartless real estate speculator who planned to build cheesy condominiums. And I seem to hear the widows voice proclaiming “The Curse of the Meddler shall henceforth be on this place! Nevermore shall anyone who lives here enjoy peace or privacy!”
Angry Kem
September 13th, 2008 at 11:44 pm
And on dark nights, as the sad little people huddle in their condos next to their electric fireplaces, they can hear the mincing footsteps of the Meddler as she moves from dwelling to dwelling, spreading the plague that is her well-meaningness. And the condo-owners shudder in fear as the blood freezes in their veins.
Artist formerly known as Ben
September 14th, 2008 at 12:30 am
On SNL, Andy Samberg just did a 2 minute “Cathy” routine behind the Update desk. Between that and being traded to Cuba (which was funnier) it’s been a rough weekend for Mrs Hillman.
Trixie Belden
September 14th, 2008 at 12:35 am
#276 Ol’Froth – I’m not sure about raccoons, but working in a park, I have to “dispose” of quite a few groundhogs suffering from various ailments. That said, 00 buckshot does a much better job than balding blondie’s boot.
Gosh, what kinds of ailments do groundhogs suffer from? I ask because we’ve got one right next door.
Mac
September 14th, 2008 at 1:17 am
Apparently, nobody at SNL has read “Cathy” in fifteen or twenty years. So at least they have some taste.
captainmanbeard
September 14th, 2008 at 1:32 am
Obviously Balding Racoonkickerson is planning to enlist Mark Trail to punch God (who most scholars would agree sports a fine beard) until he drenches the wetlands in torrential rain.
Mr. O'Malley
September 14th, 2008 at 2:48 am
293, 294, 296. But the old-timers say “Hogtowners”.
Mr. O'Malley
September 14th, 2008 at 2:52 am
Since today we are talking about software more than usual, I will update my last comment about problems with the Houston Chronicle website that others have remarked on as well. I did find out more information, but it’s somewhat irrelevant as the site seems to have started working again.
Did the hurricane cause them to revert to an earlier version of the software?
Mr. O'Malley
September 14th, 2008 at 2:57 am
Our local paper had a story about the dangers of feeding raccoons.
Plus, don’t make pies for bears!
A Lemur
September 14th, 2008 at 3:24 am
Mr. O’Malley: Gary Larson did a great book a few years back called ‘There’s a hair in my dirt!’ that illustrated nicely the unintended consequences of misapplied kindness to animals. Clever stuff, wish he were still working, but there’s someone who retired when he knew it was time.
Baka Gaijin
September 14th, 2008 at 4:42 am
#174 Mighty Max King:
AAAH, HA HA HA HA HA! HA HA HA! [blorp] I just laughed up my spleen. Max, that’s just funny.
Baka Gaijin
September 14th, 2008 at 4:56 am
Sunday’s Strips:
Cathy: Irving, man up and get Cathy that mask you saw on Hannibal in “Silence of the Lambs.” If that doesn’t keep your beloved from stuffing her gob with thousands of expensive calories that you can’t afford, try a ball gag, using a soccer ball if needed. if that still doesn’t stop the madness, sew her lips together with 80 lb. test Stren Lo-Vis Green Sonic Braid. Be sure to cinch it tight!
Seismic-2
September 14th, 2008 at 6:25 am
#27 – “Maybe I’m imagining it, but it looks like Mr Facial Hairless is kicking the raccoon in panel 2 because it’s eating out the little girl.”
Is this the first time that the funny papers have explicitly shown an act of coonnilingus?
tuesy
September 14th, 2008 at 8:37 am
MW: I’m sensing a big meddle coming up when Mary “helpfully” informs Ian of Toby’s identity theft, thus making things worse for Toby, but oh so much better for Meddl—I mean Mary.
gleeb
September 14th, 2008 at 9:15 am
If any of you Torontonians aren’t already off having good times, can you tell me how to pronounce “Spadina”?
Dick: Remember, kids, Tracy says be vigilant. Watch each others’ houses. And especially watch the houses of people who don’t go along with the house-watching plan!
A3G: “‘What a dump!’ Who said that, George?” “The airheaded artist in that comic strip, Martha.” How different that play could have been.
’shaft: “Batching it”? You mean as in writing depressive comics strips with the pace of punctuated equilibrium? Or as in making up “slang” no human uses?
‘bean: The only force in Cancerdeathville big enough to rival Montoni’s, the band uses its power only to roll along in perpetual motion. Noisy, pointless, perpetual motion.
Sam Driver, freelance detective: If you want me to accept the name “Dixie Julep”, I’m going to have to see a lot more pictures of her in that bikini.
Phantom: Of course, civil justice results in being beaten by President Luaga.
Rex the Sailor-Man: The “Best People on Earth”, huh? I guess that makes “the club” the local Elks’ Lodge.
Sally: See that, Batiuk? That’s how you do a Superman tribute. Snap!
Slylock: Forget this little shadow-based conundrum. Why is that bird dropping a fish on Max?
Lurker
September 14th, 2008 at 9:20 am
gleeb: spuh-DYE-nuh.
CanuckDownSouth
September 14th, 2008 at 9:42 am
@311-gleeb: I’ve actually heard “bach’ing it”=”batching it” for “playing bachelor” = guy who’s not usually alone left to his own devices. Seriously.
Niall
September 14th, 2008 at 9:42 am
A few Sunday comments:
Curtis: Oooo, almost, Billingsley! Come on, you can do it, you can kick your Inappropriate Quotation Marks habit! You only had one this time! Too bad it was right after you used the same word without marks, so it stood out like a giant sore thumb…
DtM: Ah-hah! This is the explanation: it’s the Wilson Curse that keeps this strip undisturbed by time! It’s also Wilson’s way to stay immortal. Alas, we are the ones to pay the price.
FC: Dolly’s plan to make PJ’s disappearance go unremarked for a few days while she makes her getaway are foiled by a single question. Again, we are the ones to pay the price as we get more PJ.
Hagar: Stop. Just stop the strip is this is how low you’ll sink. Please. Stop.
H&L: No matter how bad I think my life sucks, I’ll always be comforted it’ll be better than theirs.
JP: Then we have this. Thank you, Baretto, for making everthing better. Wilson almost spoils it if I think about the plot in any way, though. Wouldn’t a lawyer know to not disturb a potential crime scene? And that as a witness and potential suspect, he shouldn’t leave the city? But I guess his complete inability to be distracted by people like (snicker) “Dixie Julep” (snicker snicker) makes him completely innocent, in all senses of the word.
My Cage once more proves how good they are. A perfect and funny summation of life’s little joys and frustrations.
Sly: Rita Rabbit is no Cassandra Cat. It makes me wonder why Cassie is so different than the rest of the female cast… to the point of having an actual mamma(r/l)ian chest… Not that I’m complaining; just curious. :)
commodorejohn
September 14th, 2008 at 9:46 am
A3G – The one thing I really like about Apartment 3-G Sundays is that, while they do subscribe to the soap-strip “recap day” formula, they always include the best moments from the week, and they’re redrawn nicely to take advantage of the space.
BB – Parachute jumpers, confirm/deny? Man, just when I think this strip can’t get any weirder…
BS – Man, Ringo, what’re you doing out in the desert?
Curtis – Today’s Curtis was actually funnier than any previous strip I’ve seen on the topic of Chutney-Curtis-Michelle.
DT – “It’s too unwieldy! Too big! I do my killing on a personal level!”
JP – If only that creepy little animal would get killed, we could just stay on this storyline forever and ever.
Pluggers – GAH BROOKINS STOP TRYING TO CLASSIFY ME AS A PLUGGER
Popeye – Popeye is engaging in election fraud.
PV – Woo-hoo! Killer octopus! This storyline just keeps getting more awesome.
SM – Yeah! I mean, it’s not like it could’ve been any other unusually strong character from the Marvel universe in a Spider-Man costume, right? All he or she would have to do would be figure out Spidey’s web-shooters and build a couple of their own. SERIOUSLY POLICE IT’S NOT THAT IMPLAUSIBLE.
Edison Lee – Yes, you heard it here first, folks: the government is building bathyscapes for espionage purposes. What the hell, Hambrock? In a strip full of dumb things, this is the dumbest. Are they planning to keep an eye on Karl Stromberg, or what?
Niall
September 14th, 2008 at 9:48 am
309 – “coonilingus” – I want to hurt you. So, well done. :)
gleeb: spah-D’EYE-nah, for those not mumbling like natives. :)
AeroSquid
September 14th, 2008 at 10:09 am
Luanne: Luanne is now Smoov L: The Suburban Teen Lesbian Pimp Grrl !
Trilobite
September 14th, 2008 at 10:42 am
Sunday’s Funky Winkerbean finally reveals a vital piece of the cancer puzzle: band turkeys from Three Mile Island. Way to go, Batiuk…now you just have to show that there’s a DDT factory next to the high school and stick a few ads for Chernobyl Wilderness Adventures around, and no one will ever ask you why your characters all turn into giant smirking bags of tumors.
AmazingThor
September 14th, 2008 at 10:50 am
Saturday:
A3G: “And lets face it, getting high is all I care about.” Well, the first step is admitting you have a problem.
Crock: Haha, is anything funnier that a urinary tract infection joke?
BB: Well we know what movie the BB author rented last night. It wasn’t good enough to steal a quip from Bagger Vance, he actually made the only black character say it.
Shoe: “Remember that stimulus check?” Yes, and while we’re staying current, I also remember Joey Butafuco, Judge Ito, and Milli Vanilli!
Plug: He’s trying to check the oil by looking in the trunk. Next we’re going to see the Dog/Plugger showing up in Crankshaft and getting berated for his lack of automotive repair knowledge.
John C Fremont
September 14th, 2008 at 11:27 am
#174 Mighty Max King – What Baka Gaijin said at # 307. COTW!!
Lio – I almost cried.
GF – Generally, I disagree with the cat, but I’m with Bucky on this one.
MT – Now that’s a dry looking forest.
According to IMDB, Ben Johnson was in a movie called “Champions” playing a character named Burly Cocks. I just had to share that, and I am very, very sorry.
MW – Today, it’s Toby’s turn to play The Golden Otter.
Mutts – Mooch does his Cathy impersonation for the class. Or maybe he’s doing “Billy The Mountain.”
Phantom – The Phantom has the ability to make bad guys imagine there’s a bee flying around their heads merely by saying “Buzzz…Buzzz…” Now there’s a superhero skill that’s bound to come in handy.
RMMD – Quick, somebody get me a peach colored Crayola! Well, at least Lenore’s word balloon got colored in.
JP – Dixie Julep and the sexy cop? Oh, yeah! Awright! Giggity-giggity!
DT – Just what about the Robot Dick is too big and unwieldly? Let’s ask the late Ben Johnson.
Calico
September 14th, 2008 at 11:45 am
MT – “Flaming Glory”
I think Elrod meant to appropriate this phrase to Rex Morgan, professional in Duck Shoes.
LITTLE A. OF THE GRAND CONCOURSE JUNGLE PATROL
September 14th, 2008 at 11:58 am
Apropos Of Nothing as Usual:
I notice that there are no Mutts strips in the archives and it is very in frequently mentioned on this blog — BECAUSE IT IS ONE OF THE BEST STRIPS THAT HIS COME ALONG IN THE PAST 25 YEARS, that’s why.
And this is a curmudgeon strip.
Just felt like saying something about it. Shtinky Puddin’ is one of my favorites, in this strip.
Thank you all.
Calico
September 14th, 2008 at 12:09 pm
#320 – Well, you know Sam isn’t going to be interested in either of the ladies because he is asexual, so let the gals have at each other, I say!
Abby?
AMC
September 14th, 2008 at 12:15 pm
Mutts is almost Zen in its stupidity.
The Spectacular Spider-Brick
September 14th, 2008 at 12:29 pm
Comics aren’t too inspiring today.
BH: If the Parkers don’t have kids, then who was Harriet reading bedtime stories to just last Wednesday?! Their latest kidnapping victim?
BF: Oh no! Her feet are being devoured by sewage worms! (2:15 in)
Crock: What’s this, Grossie goes into a dress shop and the gag isn’t about her weight?! I suspect that the dart “target” was supposed to be a spinning wheel, until the artist realized he draws those about as well as he does everything else.
Poteet
September 14th, 2008 at 12:52 pm
# 268 bats — Of course you are right, and the wild bats native to the U.S. are mostly little. But oh, so cute. I’m not sure I’ve seen anything cuter than the red bat I found hanging at eye level on a prairie wildflower a few years ago (apologies to my cats).
Poteet
September 14th, 2008 at 1:05 pm
FW — At first I told myself it was unfair to assume that the Whitewater Development consisted of McMansions built on bulldozed high-quality woodlands. But it’s FW, and the money is being raised for the *shudder* marching band, so why should I try to be fair? Curses upon FW and all who sail in her. Though cursing FW characters is redundant. And probably the “carbon offsets” are logged-off rainforests that have been converted to eucalyptus plantations.
LITTLE A. OF THE GRAND CONCOURSE JUNGLE PATROL
September 14th, 2008 at 1:08 pm
AMC: Well, unless you were being, sarcastic (I can’t tell), there is nothing wrong with genuine charm, sentiment, love, affection, with a little simplicity thrown or tossed in.
Anonymous
September 14th, 2008 at 1:16 pm
322 – AMEN! You can’t besmirch perfection without really, really straining, to look witty. Mutts is wonderful 99% of the time, so one might have at that bad 1%. But what comes off looking laughable – Mutts or the mocker?
anonymously
September 14th, 2008 at 1:22 pm
BRENDA STARR; DAMMITT! There’s Basil already, somehow detecting his ex and his child’s distress, off to the rescue. Dammitt!
Not that I’m not interested in the upcoming rescue n’ reunion, but I was HOPING Brenda and the kid would be trudging along for another couple days and run across….an adorable Englishman who would kill and cook a snake, show them how to build a shelter out of sticks and rocks, demonstrate fine dinin’ can be had with a main course of scorpions, and of course, drink their own pee in order to keep trudgin’ toward their inevitable rescue!
Mibbitmaker
September 14th, 2008 at 1:36 pm
I just got back from my dad’s over the weekend, before he goes to his other place in a warmer climate during the cooler months here. We went to a nice used book place and I ended up getting an early Christmas present:
The Smithsonian Collection of Newspaper Comics
(my aunt & uncle already got me the comic book one a couple years ago)
and
The Comics Since 1945
I couldn’t pass them up — 2 big hardcovers for $12.95 and $14.95 respectively. Or $0 for me, at least directly (I’d already bought his present last week).
Hasty Penguin
September 14th, 2008 at 1:54 pm
A thirty foot tall Dick Tracy robot with t-rex-like arms and six wheels? Diet Smith presents us with the obvious next logical step in crime fighting that has been right under our noses for years. How did we miss this?
Ukulele Ike
September 14th, 2008 at 2:01 pm
DT: I have an overpowering sense of deja-vu….
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/ED-209
bats :[
September 14th, 2008 at 2:05 pm
300. Trixie Belden: I don’t know what’s bothering Ol’ Froth’s woodchucks, but they are the major carriers of plague fleas in Mongolia (where the plague bacteria is likely to have originated). In the U.S., our potentially plague-spreading, flea-bearing critters are often prairie dogs and field mice; if a flea is hungry enough, however, it will migrate to another food source, and if it’s carrying plague bacteria, those animals will be infected as well.
Yersinia pestis, controlling populations for a very long time (several years ago, Prince Valiant had a story-arc that centered on the first plague pandemic in Europe, when it spread through the Byzantine Empire during Justinian’s reign. Plague….giant octopus…is there nothing that Prince Val can’t handle?).
Baka Gaijin
September 14th, 2008 at 2:28 pm
#322 Little A: Thanks for reminding me. I forgot to tell Mooch to pick up some Eych!
* Content not available outside the US, dammit.
bats :[
September 14th, 2008 at 2:53 pm
Shtinky puddin’ for President!
Oh, it’s Sunday! I misssed the online strips until this morning (late night screening of “The Princess Bride” at the local art-house cinema…it’s a nice movie, but evidently I still don’t “get it”…why is it such a favorite?).
But I digress…
JP: Dixie Julep?! Oh, this is just too good. Maybe between Dixie and the female cop, Sam can suggest having a Driver sammich for lunch!
MT: lots of cool information. Not so much for us folks in the lower Sonoran desert, but cool anyway. Thanks, Mark! Go punch something now.
PV: look out, Val, look out!
RMMD: no snark here, but I’m lovin’ all the colors! Maybe Rex and Lenore dipped into the rum allotment before dinner.
Brewster Rockit: while it might offend True Fable’s delicate caprine sensibilities, anything with a space slug and the Imperial Fleet rocks!
FOOBlite: wow…how FC! It’s not funny, and it makes no sense!
Stranger...
September 14th, 2008 at 2:59 pm
Zits (Sunday) is just sick, sick sick… oh wait, maybe that’s just me… never mind!
ladadog
September 14th, 2008 at 3:26 pm
Every day while reading this Rex Morgan story line,
my mind starts hearing the old sea shanty…and I can’t get it out of my head. So, I’ll share: “What shall we do with a drunken sailor, what shall we do with a drunken sailor, what shall we do with a drunken sailor, early in the morning? Put him in bed with a rich old lady, put him in bed with a rich old lady. put him in bed with a rich old lady early in the morning….”
And now they are heading off to dinner, go easy on the rum, Rex.
bats :[
September 14th, 2008 at 3:45 pm
This one isn’t even particularly snarky. I do like doofy old Mark Trail (he was sort of the Marlin Perkins of the comic strips — when I was growing up, the paper only carried the Sunday strips, so I was blissfully unaware of screwy storylines), and I’ve always liked Rose is Rose (I don’t mind the kids talking strangely, I like the kitty, although Clem is a putz).
I thought today’s MT was a bit of a snooze-fest, and Mark needed to have a friend come over and play…
http://www.flickr.com/photos/9545446@N07/2856449563/sizes/o/
Tom the Pirate
September 14th, 2008 at 3:49 pm
Just catching up on the weekend’s comics, I have two from the Friday morning paper that scream for comment.
The come-hither in Luann would be much sexier if, in the second panel, one boob didn’t rise a full six inches above the other in some form of crazy salute.
The retro-Foob continues its fascinating insight into the early years. In today’s episode, not only does Elly emotionally scar her son, but she makes a concerted effort in the final panel to drown her daughter. Way to go, Ells!
Anonymous
September 14th, 2008 at 3:53 pm
The Toronto Mudge Meetup went quite well with four people – Niall, Mooncattie, Skullturf and Angry Kem. There’s a photo and meet description going its way to Josh – once I get home, and my flight is now boarding. :)
Niall
John C Fremont
September 14th, 2008 at 4:24 pm
# 336 bats :[ – “Ma-wwiage! Ma-wwiage is what bwings us togevah today. Ma-wwiage. That bwessed awwangement. That dweam wiffin a dweam.”
Also # 339 – We also grew up with Mark Trail as a Sunday-only strip, ao I had no clue as to the horrible, horrible existance of Cherry and Rusty the Mutated Boy. I thought of it less as a strip and more as something in the Cappy Dick category, or a rustic Mister Rogers. Maybe it was better that way.
# 341 Niall the Anonymous – Can’t wait to see the pictures!
“And wove, twue wove, wiww fowwow you fowevah…”
bats :[
September 14th, 2008 at 4:24 pm
341. Anonymous who looks suspiciously like Niall: that’s not a bad turnout, considering that it started being planned on Friday, and considering the potential for disaster (Quincy’s or Clinton’s), and considering that LJ might’ve gotten a whiff of it and descended upon you all to teach you the One True Way of preventing oneself of being knocked off the page…
Very cool!
John C Fremont
September 14th, 2008 at 4:25 pm
# 342 – “ao” = “so”
Poteet
September 14th, 2008 at 4:50 pm
# 328 Little A. — I read MUTTS on all days, like MUTTS on most days, love MUTTS on some days, and long to dive into the MUTTSiverse and live there forever on a few days. Comic-wise, that’s about as good as it gets for me.
Poteet
September 14th, 2008 at 4:56 pm
Foob — WARNING — MONDAY SPOILER *snort* AHEAD. Theme: Life sucks, so let’s get together and gripe about it! Characters: Elly, Anne, and their assorted rugrats. My reaction: I’m starting to find these punny reruns almost thunderously depressing, and the eyeless profiles don’t help.
queek
September 14th, 2008 at 5:01 pm
336: The Princess Bride is the bestest movie ever.
Its right up there with Rocky Horror and Monty Python’s “Holy Grail” for “lines” that everygeek knows and can repeat at the drop of a hat. And it also has the best swordfight in cinematic history that doesn’t involve Errol Flynn.
“Hello. My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die.”
“Hello, lady!”
“You’ve just made one of the classic blunders!”
“He’s only *mostly* dead”
True Fable
September 14th, 2008 at 5:08 pm
Okay, so.
FW The best (and only) good thing about today’s Sunday installment is the pale little floatie head of a Funkite on the masthead. It’s either Funky himself or maybe Harry Dinkle, since Batiuk can’t distinguish between 40 year olds and eighty year olds by the way he draws.
JP Just what the doctor ordered: nice nubile Fan Service! Hey, it doesn’t matter to me if the dead guy’s ex-girlfriend has any important point in the plot or not. Mine is not to reason why, the view more than makes up for – hey, what? She’s his EX-girlfriend and she’s still there? Wow, dumb too! Honey, Ex means you should’ve hit the road when the gravy train zoomed by.
Canadian Zombie Dr. Patterson? Mr. Fuddmulch is here for his 3:00 appointment, and your wife Mrs. Future Wideload Lardass is on line three.
MT I think that I shall never see
A poem so lovely as a tree
In all its fine autumnal glory
After Kelly’s acted whorey
As every leaf turns red and golden
Ginormous squirrels are all beholden
To the mighty Fist O’Justice
For every single name he’s cussed us
O Great Khaki Hunter, guide us through’
Another pretty fall or two
The noble deer will do his best
To keep from getting field dressed
Uncle Lumpy
September 14th, 2008 at 5:11 pm
#347 queek –
Yeah, Mandy Patinkin earned a lifetime pass for that role. Which is good, ’cause he needed it all the way through Chicago Hope.
Mr.Death
September 14th, 2008 at 5:16 pm
FC: Two words: Sieg Heil!
Lisa (not the dead one)
September 14th, 2008 at 5:21 pm
Sunday’s Luann: pimp? Elton John? 70s throwback? Clueless cartoonist version of what the crazy hip kids are wearing today? Hell, I don’t know.
Gold-Digging Nanny
September 14th, 2008 at 5:28 pm
Commodorejohn — I have a favor to ask. Gocomics has become such a pain in the ass to use, and I love your streamlined workaround to it; I used your Pibgorn link yesterthread to catch up on Lio and some of the others. But I still had to go to Gocomics for Cul de Sac. Would you consider adding that strip?
Thanks!
Poteet
September 14th, 2008 at 5:32 pm
MW — What are Toby and Mary gazing at so solemnly in Panel Seven as they contemplate the “other things” on Ian’s mind? I’m hoping it’s a seven-foot-high wooden phallus.
Poteet
September 14th, 2008 at 5:35 pm
FC — “Bye-bye, little neighbors! Going for a nice ride in Dad’s car? Any chance he’ll tie you up and stuff you into pillow cases and throw you into a large body of water?”
commodorejohn
September 14th, 2008 at 5:39 pm
#352 Gold-Digging Nanny – Done. I’m open to any other requests, I just didn’t feel like punching in every single goComics link when I wrote that, since there are strips like Winnie-the-Pooh (no, seriously,) that I’m fairly sure nobody is going to read, like, ever.
Gold-Digging Nanny
September 14th, 2008 at 5:42 pm
347 queek — Am I the only one who thinks a Princess Bride musical would be awesome? Earlier this afternoon I got the “Not to 50!” scene stuck in my head for some reason, when someone in the next room turned on some really loud music, and suddenly I was envisioning some cheesy musical theater low-production-value version of the machine, with Prince Humperdink carrying on in verse about how Buttercup and Wesley truly love each other, and so he thinks no man will suffer as greatly as him, while the six-fingered man bellows out in a baritone chorus, “No! Not to 50! No! Not to 50!” and the pasty-faced lab assistant does some kind of comic interlude. Other hit songs could include, “I Am the Dread Pirate Roberts,” “You Killed My Father — Prepare to Die!” and “Anybody Want a Peanut?”
Angry Kem
September 14th, 2008 at 5:42 pm
Hey, Hagar: get medieval.
FC: What…the…hell…is that? It’s not a wave. Is it even possible to wave by flinging one’s hand up over one’s head and then moving it violently downward? I think Mr. Death (#350) has a point here.
At least Dolly is teaching PJ to be a good little Nazi. That’s what big sisters are for.
Dear Lynn Johnston:
Please stop making all your obnoxious characters ugly.
Thanks,
Angry Kem.
Despite the completely absurd humidity, the Toronto meet-up was fun.
Gold-Digging Nanny
September 14th, 2008 at 5:44 pm
355 commodorejohn — Wow, that was quick! Thank you!
Islamorada Girl
September 14th, 2008 at 6:05 pm
Ahoy, Commodore, add Cul de Sac and Brenda Starr to your lineup and I’ll be your friend 4 evah!
Gojira
September 14th, 2008 at 6:11 pm
#353 Poteet: Ian’s “other things?”
Gojira
September 14th, 2008 at 6:15 pm
Not much compared to some of the masterpieces posted here, but had to get this out of my system:
Toby Cameron, poster child.
The Spectacular Spider-Brick
September 14th, 2008 at 6:33 pm
Thanks for your stripped-down GoComics interface, CommodoreJohn. I bookmarked it and I’m sure I will find it quite useful. However, I must point out the hypocrisy in your statement @ 355:
And yet, you linked to Momma?!
Poteet
September 14th, 2008 at 6:35 pm
# 360 Gojira — Hey, cool! And Toby looks better than I’ve ever seen her!
lesles
September 14th, 2008 at 6:35 pm
DT: well, i heard somone was doing a remake of robocop, but i never imagined it would be this … this … sigh.
Mooncattie
September 14th, 2008 at 6:43 pm
I laughed a lot at the Sailing Doc
But nothing compares to that Little Pink Sock!
(I love Mutts too!)
The Toronto meetup was lots of fun. Thank you, Niall, for the fab samples of ultra high-quality chocolates! We had a great chat about Slylock, Dixie Julip, Apt. 3-G, and how the use of Yellow in soap opera strips resembles how TV soaps used ominous musical organ chords to signal danger ahead (good example is Toby’s extreme closeup in today’s Mary Worth). Alas, LJ couldn’t make it. I gather she’s getting an award today for her work in raising awareness of Septum Tuberosum.
Meanwhile, I found Mark Trail’s anti-Leaf propaganda to be most distressing. Of course Old Jack Frost is responsible for the changing of the seasons! Of course, I’m from the only city in the world where the Leafs fall at the beginning of April. Hockey joke. Har Dee Har Har.
commodorejohn
September 14th, 2008 at 6:46 pm
#359 Islamadora Girl – Already in there, my good lady.
#362 – The Spectacular Spider-Brick – Point, I guess. But Momma is at least a popular target here, whereas Winnie-the-Pooh…it’s not even snarkable. It barely even registers as sequential art in the brain.
The Spectacular Spider-Brick
September 14th, 2008 at 7:04 pm
commodorejohn @ 366: I suppose you’re right… I should have made a distinction between comics no one would ever read and comics no one in their right minds would ever read.
commodorejohn
September 14th, 2008 at 7:29 pm
#367 The Spectacular Spider-Brick – Indeed.
christian
September 14th, 2008 at 7:36 pm
Traze-R looks kinda Jack Kirbyish…i like that
Orange Doorhinge
September 14th, 2008 at 7:43 pm
Toby is really scared of Ian thinking poorly of her isn’t she? Is this a My Fair Lady/Pygmillion relationship, where Ian has labored year after year to ‘educate’ Toby?
Artist formerly known as Ben
September 14th, 2008 at 7:52 pm
9/14
DtM: So send Dennis to Montessori school and he’ll be the next Michelangelo. snert. But it is kind of funny to see his head stuck on a gangly adult body while Mr. Wilson is unchanged.
Dancing Bug: Bill Griffith take note. This is how you do postmodern metacomics humor. Bolling even takes a goodhearted swipe at Art Spiegelman’s style.
S4th: Coming soon to a med supply outlet near you: Ted Forth (TM) Wrist Braces.
Blondie: I see Blondie insists that Dagwood pay up-front for any and all sexual activity. Can’t say as I blame her.
Lio: Sure the big purple squid looks scary, but you have to admire the way it tries to protect Lio from Ed Crankshaft.
A3G: Oh, nothing. Lu Ann just likes gasping.
Zits: Yeah Connie, if you keep kneeling on the floor like that, people will get the wrong idea. So very, very wrong.
SFx: Because Doreen isn’t enough of a klepto to take buck-fitty job lot shades? Because cartoon ducks only steal Laura Ingraham’s jokes? Am I getting warmer?
Islamorada Girl
September 14th, 2008 at 7:53 pm
Ahoy, Commodore! Mmmmmmwah!
Muffaroo-who-walks
September 14th, 2008 at 7:58 pm
Sunday, Sunday, Sunday… pulse-poundin’ nitro-burnin’ funny page action! We’ll give you a whole seat, but you’ll only use the edge!
DtMenace – Okay, I’m officially gobstruck. When Dennis becomes a teenager, he looks just like Jay North.
FCircus – The first panel was promising, but only because it looked like Grandma was saying, “Bye-Bye! PU! Bye-Bye!” Come to think of it, today’s strip has taught me a way to make the strip more enjoyable.
note: PU is always funny. Sometimes I see that inspection sheet in a bathroom, with a grease pencil next to it, and I think how funny it would be to fill in the initials “P.U.” I never do it, but I have gotten, literally, minutes of pleasure from contemplating it.
HtHorrible – Thank god Lucky Eddie was there to deliver the punch line/explanation. Otherwise, we’d only have had the last four panels in which to decide that today’s jest was predicated on the fact that “Rudy the Rotten” was, indeed, a spoiled barbarian. Now we can all laugh at it together. Ha! Ha!
Hazel – All I get at the Albany Times Union is the words “Sunday Only.” I wonder if Diz and Liz are still running in Jack and Jill.
MFmore – Actually kind of clever today. I move Tinsley gets to spend one day less in Hell after he dies. Anyone wanna second it?
Marvin – Aw, he’s hungry and his parents won’t get up. I have an idea, Marvin. Why not go to the computer you use to type your advice columns, and order a pizza online? If you’re short on cash, try emailing Marmaduke. He seems to have plenty.
MWorth – “Hopefully she’ll shed some light on my situation.” Looks like she’s already doing that, with a flashlight in a closet.
Mutts – Hairball? Is that what it means when Cathy says “Ack!”? That she’s ejecting a hairball? Does she point upward to say, “I’m gonna put it right here!”?
PValiant – If the water on the ship is still good, why’d everybody on it die? …I guess we’ll find out when the tentacle strikes.
CanuckDownSouth @313 – Yeah, same here. I’ve used the expression myself. I’m not saying I’m proud of it.
Muffaroo-who-walks
September 14th, 2008 at 7:59 pm
ps to “PU is always funny” — I also sometimes think how easy it would be to print up letter-size signs in block letters to put up in restrooms at grocery stores and eateries, saying “EMPLOYEES MUST WIPE.”
Harold
September 14th, 2008 at 8:20 pm
AP – Local curmdgeon George Everett Wilson is reported to heve shouted “‘Stay five forever!” just before stabbing next-door neighbor Dennis Mitchell to death with a pair of pruning shears this past Sunday.
Kirby Dots in Dick Tracy! That would be teh awesome!
Ukulele Ike
September 14th, 2008 at 8:29 pm
MT: I found this morning’s Ode to Autumn to be charming and bittersweet, as fall is also MY favorite season, and because here in Brooklyn we had 89 degrees with high humidity and a “real feel” of 96.
JP: ……annnnd down in Arizona it gets even hotter, but there’s no humidity, and folks like Dixie Julep wander around the house in a bikini top and sarong.
Uncle Lumpy
September 14th, 2008 at 8:40 pm
#376 Uke Ike –
Because it’s sarong. Sa very, very rong.
boojum
September 14th, 2008 at 8:59 pm
377 Uncle Lumpy:
If loving Dixie Julep is sarong, I don’t want to be right.
bats :[
September 14th, 2008 at 9:43 pm
375. Muffaroo-who-walks: I always wanted to print up on self-adhesive labels “DEEP RECTAL” and then walk around parking lots, sticking them on Ford Probes.
heynoni
September 14th, 2008 at 11:54 pm
And if there’s one thing Toby has learnt, it’s that zoning out and visiting one’s happy-place is the best antidote for a Mary Worth lecture – as clearly demonstrated by Toby’s expression in the second panel.
gzuckier
September 16th, 2008 at 11:57 am
raccoons being intelligent, it’s pretty much assumed that a raccoon not attempting to avoid human contact, i.e. hanging out next to a baby in a stroller, is most likely rabid.
still and all, that doesn’t excuse uncle fuddly kicking the poor beast in the second panel.
dale
September 16th, 2008 at 1:07 pm
381 – gzukier
” that doesn’t excuse uncle fuddly kicking the poor beast in the second panel.”
Is being kicked in the second panel a matter of left vs. right cheek or butt vs. crotch?
Rick
September 16th, 2008 at 3:54 pm
To all of you who are concerned about the physical abuse that the racoon is suffering in panel 2 on 9/12 – since the racoon is obviously pledging a fraternity, you needn’t woory, it’s OK, this stuff happens all of time.
johnny culver
September 16th, 2008 at 11:32 pm
Mary Worth: Suddenly, Dax from DS9 regrets being transported back to 21st century Earth. Will her communicator pen allow safe passage back to the station?