The Comics Curmudgeon

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Furry follies

Slylock Fox, 9/23/08

Holy mother of God, do I even want to know what the hell is going on in this cartoon? It’s possible that our towheaded youngster is proudly showing off some sort of disassembled taxidermy form, but it seems more likely that he’s going to put on his fursuit and ask the doctor to diagnose his other personality, “Fuzzy Wuzzy.” More disturbing yet is how intrigued the elderly medico is by the whole thing.

Dick Tracy, 9/23/08

In Dick Tracy, Dick learns that Diet Smith’s robocop Traze-R comes with a “mobile transporter,” which is apparently fancy inventor talk for “tractor-trailer truck.” Which the robot needs to get from place to place despite the fact it has, you know, wheels. Dick Tracy remains a howling narrative void of madness, is what I’m trying to say.

Dennis the Menace, 9/23/08

I was going to file this under “crazy and/or stupid” rather than “menacing,” but then I caught sight of the look of panic and distress on the piggy bank’s face. I suppose the torment and murder of anthropomorphic objects has a certain air of menace about it.

Mary Worth, 9/23/08

Toby, are you … going on the Internet? With this total stranger lady sitting right next to you? Have you learned nothing? OH MY GOD SHE COULD BE PHISHING YOU RIGHT NOW!

This entry was posted on Tuesday, September 23, 2008 at 06:54 am and is filed under Dennis the Menace, Dick Tracy, Mary Worth, Slylock Fox.

269 responses to “Furry follies”

Shoshi
September 23rd, 2008 at 7:05 am [Reply]

Oh, geez–from the timing of these posts, Josh appears to be out west again. Doing what? Guest starring on Baywatch? Do they even still have that show?!

Sidenote–In the dentist office the other day, I heard two dental hygienists discussing some new American-Idol-type program. The one was saying that she couldn’t enjoy it because “David Hasselhoff creeps me out”.
beans
September 23rd, 2008 at 7:05 am [Reply]

We can only hope that Helpful Internet Fraud Prevention Lady here is a also a scammer, who plans to rob Toby of all her assests, driving her to a serious gambling addiction, resulting in her unseemly alcohol-induced death on the Las Vegas strip.
Pinback65
September 23rd, 2008 at 7:06 am [Reply]

Hey, that DTM panel actually looks like Not Hank Ketchum actually gave some thought to the layout! That’s not allowed in a legacy strip, is it?
Phred22
September 23rd, 2008 at 7:10 am [Reply]

How will Slylock’s ‘6 differences’ scene continue?

A. The doctor will refuse to treat the ‘new patient’ because he/she/it has no medical insurance.
B. The doctor will refer the np to a specialist who will charge an exorbitant fee.
C. The boy will be diagnosed as psychotically deranged.
D. Examining the np, the doctor will discover someone has been using it to smuggle drugs out of the hospital.
E. None of the above.
F. All of the above.
Donut Soup
September 23rd, 2008 at 7:10 am [Reply]

Mobile transporters are a big step up from the earlier immobile transporters.
lesles
September 23rd, 2008 at 7:26 am [Reply]

DtM: here’s the meace – the pig’s real. dennis has been using it to practice his hobbies – tattooing, scarification, bacon – and is just casually dumping it down the well where he chucks everything he has no further use for. the dialogue is just incidental – part of a conversation with joey that has no relation at all to the action, serves to underline the true cold menace of the situation.

we’ve finally witnessed a manifestationof his fully developed mature psychopathy that he’s been hiding these many years under a guise of sacharine lametude.

well done, lad.
Gadge Cubic, Mole Preener
September 23rd, 2008 at 7:50 am [Reply]

Did TJ just stick his head out of his rather flimsy closet in today’s “Luann”?
Gojira
September 23rd, 2008 at 7:55 am [Reply]

Just to get these out of my system:

The Amazing TV Watcher: A second right foot for a two-left-foot kinda guy.

A3G: Since Margo’s reaction to news of Alan getting shot would most likely be “Good riddance!,” the officer must be telling her a painting got damaged.

FC: Dolly Tai Chi?

MT: Lush, verdant, puddles from recent rainfall, giant wildlife…What’s the problem here, exactly?
Brick Bradford
September 23rd, 2008 at 7:56 am [Reply]

Phantom The look of anticipation on the bad guys face at the thought of a prison term is somewhat disturbing. I get the feeling you don’t want to be in the shower with him and 10 or 12 of his cronies.

A3G Enough of this–bring on SOUTH DAKOTA! (Do they even remember this plot thread?)

MT Instead of fleeing from Mark and Chrome Dome guy, as any self respecting deer would, the doe and fawn stand there with looks of admiration and, yes, hope, on their little woodland faces. I guess Mark’s reputation preceeds him in the animal world.
dyslexic dog
September 23rd, 2008 at 7:58 am [Reply]

3. Pinback65:
Is Not Hank Ketcham the DtM version of Not Me in FC?
zenvelo
September 23rd, 2008 at 8:00 am [Reply]

Dick Tracy : Land of repetitive redundancies
Hogenmogen
September 23rd, 2008 at 8:03 am [Reply]

Gee, I don’t know why Maria Lopez would believe that some guy in a Spiderman suit who walks on walls and shoots webbing from his hands would be Spiderman. Except, of course, it is what Spidey does to identify himself.
Hogenmogen
September 23rd, 2008 at 8:05 am [Reply]

DT: Hey, chief! Diet has come up with an invulnerable, sentient robot capable of capturing every criminal in the city. It cost him tens of millions, and he gave it to us for free! Let’s make him fetch coffee, bcuz he spks n txt mssgs.
smokie
September 23rd, 2008 at 8:06 am [Reply]

That crazy ass machine of Tracy’s wouldn’t be able to get down the narrow, depression-era halls in the station, what with that huge base and those tractor wheels.
arby
September 23rd, 2008 at 8:09 am [Reply]

Slylock:

Little Billy shows the doctor the new Teddy Ruxpin bedpan. Rip its head off and **** down his neck…

or

Doctor, my heart is up here, not there….
Dingo
September 23rd, 2008 at 8:10 am [Reply]

Yay! I’m on the float. And congratulations to Violet for an excellent COTW!
Hogenmogen
September 23rd, 2008 at 8:11 am [Reply]

FC: Dolly is 6 and she’s already complaining about the lack of depth in the dating pool. Next, she’ll start reading Cathy and obsess over trivial fashion matters and the fact that her vacation photos are not cropped.
Mischief Maker
September 23rd, 2008 at 8:20 am [Reply]

So what exactly set off the robot holocaust? It all started when Dick Tracy was given control of a killing machine robot, fashioned off his own image and homicidal tendencies, and he began a campaign of emasculating it with menial office tasks.
Randall
September 23rd, 2008 at 8:24 am [Reply]

If I was the king of daily cartoons, I’d make one of those ‘find the differences’ cartoons, only they would be exactly the same. And in the upside down printed answer I’d write ‘the difference is you just wasted five minutes of your life, dipwad.’

Yeah, people would hate me. Actually, more people would hate me. But I’d still be the King.
Burl Veneer
September 23rd, 2008 at 8:30 am [Reply]

Slylock: that nurse looks pretty hot for some yiffing, dontcha think?
Harry Worth
September 23rd, 2008 at 8:32 am [Reply]

Hopefully, Helpful Internet Fraud Prevention Lady will direct Toby to some interesting web sites where she can show Toby just how to prevent Internet scams.

While being naked.

And going where no man has gone before.
Hogenmogen
September 23rd, 2008 at 8:33 am [Reply]

DT: Yes! Diet has really come through this time! Brilliant! Genius! No criminal is safe – except, of course, if he climbs a flight of steps.
Hogenmogen
September 23rd, 2008 at 8:34 am [Reply]

#21 – Harry “Where no man has gove before”

Are you talkiing about Mary’s bedroom?
Hogenmogen
September 23rd, 2008 at 8:35 am [Reply]

“goNe before”
Mary Worth Discussion Group
September 23rd, 2008 at 8:35 am [Reply]

Gosh, Betty and Veronica used to have so much fun….
Patrick
September 23rd, 2008 at 8:41 am [Reply]

That kid’s “other patient” is his Weird Uncle Sal, who apparently suffers from being a Plushie.
Anonymous
September 23rd, 2008 at 8:42 am [Reply]

Dennis the Menace-
I was assuming that Dennis was chucking his good friend and constant victim- the effiminate Tommy’s- piggybank into the well. This would also explain why said pig is so girlishly decorated.
rollersnakes
September 23rd, 2008 at 8:42 am [Reply]

Dennis the Menace-
I was assuming that Dennis was chucking his good friend and constant victim- the effiminate Tommy’s- piggybank into the well. This would also explain why said pig is so girlishly decorated.
Naked Bunny with a Whip
September 23rd, 2008 at 8:44 am [Reply]

Hey, I think I know Fuzzy Wuzzy online! In the Biblical sense, I mean.
McManx
September 23rd, 2008 at 8:52 am [Reply]

DTracy — To the question in panel 3, the response seems to be that Traze-R is actually a two-ton Mr. Coffee machine. Next week, Diet Smith unveils the second phase of his police support units — a mobile Dunkin’ Donuts Droid.

Dennis — Actually, this is quite menacing if the piggy bank is Joey’s college fund.

Mary Worth – This lady bears a strong resemblance to Vera with dyed black pony tail. The pained look on the face is the same. Perhaps she’s trying to regain her wealth by scamming all the condo residents.
The Spectacular Spider-Brick
September 23rd, 2008 at 8:55 am [Reply]

Agnes: Funny, that’s how I scream when I read Family Circus.

A3G: Proper cordless phone technique says to hold the earpiece away from your head, lean well forward, and talk into the keypad. That way, the microwaves won’t give you brain cancer. It may be too late for Luann, but Margo is still safe.

Archie: Miss Grundy knows how to rock the layered look. I bet she wears those tight fleece pants with words across the butt. Except, instead of “Juicy,” hers says “Dusty.”

C’Shaft: Take a lesson, budding cartoonists. To make a character likable, don’t actually give him any likable traits. Simply introduce an even more hateful character to make your guy seem heroic by contrast.

(WT)DT: That Diet Smith is amazing! In addition to the Two-Way Communicator, he invented the Mobile Transporter, the Numeric Math Calculator, the Cold Storage Refrigerating Food Box, and Herb & Jamaal. That’s why you’ll find his picture in the Word Definition Dictionary Book under “Device-Inventing Scientists.”

FC: Dolly’s winding up to smack the face right off Thel’s head. Oh, wait, too late.

GA: So, who wants to bet Rover just got flim-flammed? Anyone?

H&J: That’s so true! That happens all the time whenever I sit in This Section! Despite the risk, I wouldn’t sit in That Section if you paid me. I just love the camaraderie of the fans who sit in This Section. We dress up funny and call ourselves the “This Section Fans.” It’s just our way of supporting Our Team. Go, Our Team! Beat the Other Team! Also, Jamaal is part turtle.

JP: Jim Velich? What kind of name is that? Shouldn’t he be named Jim Sock or Ima Copp or Ben Dover or something?

MT: “Lush, verdant palmettos… healthy-looking wildlife… standing water… plentiful Jackelrod balls… this is awful! The last time I saw this place, it looked like a desert!” “No, that was the desert. We were in New Mexico.” “Oh, yeah.”

Monty Stripeybutt’s Flying Circus: The Phantom thinks he’s going to arrest Mr. and Mrs. and Mrs. Wambesi… but what will he do when there’s a great bat flapping around his neck? Next: A new brain from Curry’s!

6C: Margaret Shulock must be a ‘Mudge. Send her a licorice shirt!

Zits: Is he licking off his fingers!?!? I agree… EWW! EWW!!!
Nekrotzar
September 23rd, 2008 at 9:00 am [Reply]

Six differences:

The boy on the left is suffering from a rare form of mental retardation so unusual and severe that the doctor will have him euthanized for his own good, and his brain pickled and preserved for future medical research that will win the doctor a Nobel prize.

The boy on the right is a violent sociopath who will, starting with is own doctor, go on an epic killing spree that will leave a Fargo-esque trail of blood and shattered piggy banks across nine states before he is gunned down outside Vegas by crack FBI agents and an anthropomorphic fox detective.
rollersnakes
September 23rd, 2008 at 9:00 am [Reply]

JOEY!
I could NOT remember that knock-kneed little idiot’s name!
Thank you #30

I cannot believe I’m one of ‘those people’ that posted my comment twice. I’m so ashamed now.
UncleJeff
September 23rd, 2008 at 9:03 am [Reply]

DTM — Actually, today is a surprisingly timely commentary on our nation’s financial woes. Dennis is representing George W. Bush. The piggy bank is the US Treasury and the wishing well is the nation’s investment banking industry.
jb23
September 23rd, 2008 at 9:06 am [Reply]

Slylock Fox– I am more than a little troubled by the palcement of the business end of the “doctor’s” stethoscope on his “patent”. Eww.
Jason Lefkowitz
September 23rd, 2008 at 9:06 am [Reply]

Yes! Diet has really come through this time! Brilliant! Genius! No criminal is safe – except, of course, if he climbs a flight of steps.

The second coming of ED-209?
Angry Kem
September 23rd, 2008 at 9:11 am [Reply]

Holy…crap…

Thanks for linking my site, Josh (I just medievalised Momma, by the way). I am currently getting so many hits that I am no longer able to keep up with them. At the moment, they’re mostly coming from here and Metafilter. For someone who is ecstatic when a few hundred people check out her webcomic in the same day, this is a big deal. Who knew there was such a hunger for Middle English sequential art out there? Someone needs to alert Scott McCloud.

In other news:

The first thing I thought when I saw that decapitated bear was, “Sweet Zombie Jesus.” My thought probably continued, but I expect it involved mostly wordless screams of horror and a sharp longing for the blissful relief of hysteria.

The same went for the pig in Dennis, actually.

A3G: Oh, stop with the phone call. Why don’t we get to see blood? I want to see blood. I’ve been waiting three days for the red sticky stuff, damn it. Why is there no blood? Poo.

GT: If something coherent doesn’t happen soon, I’ll…keep on reading, I guess.

MW: This series of comics has been brought to you by the concerned residents of Maplehurst Sunset Retirement Lodge, who have three computers in their common room and thought the world ought to know about phishing. Be informed!
Snout
September 23rd, 2008 at 9:15 am [Reply]

The Dick Tracy thing has wheels, but it needs to be hidden in the mobile transport unit anyway. God knows how the populace would respond to seeing that abomination rolling along down their cozy suburban streets.
Seismic-2
September 23rd, 2008 at 9:17 am [Reply]

Kids these days – ripping the heads off stuffed bears and tossing porcelain porkers down a well. Tomorrow they’ll be gunning down fellow dope addicts in art galleries, mark my words.
NoVan
September 23rd, 2008 at 9:22 am [Reply]

Oh, my. Dennis’ soulless, empty eyes. See, I’D classify that under “diabolic”.
Dingo
September 23rd, 2008 at 9:24 am [Reply]

Gadge Cubic is baaaaaaaaaaack!!!

(inserts breath mint)

Is there really much difference between today’s Dennis the Menace and the last month’s story arc with Toby Cameron? Dennis throws his money down a well hoping for wishes; Toby goes onto the internets to get Ian his precious Scotland video. Someone could make a comment about throwing things in holes and hoping for the best but I’m not feeling that witty today.
The Paradox
September 23rd, 2008 at 9:30 am [Reply]

MW- Bah! Enough with the computer safety PSA. I wanna see some Toby spanking!!!
Darkefang
September 23rd, 2008 at 9:31 am [Reply]

A3G: Margo’s so uninterested in that phone conversation, she doesn’t even bother holding the receiver closer than six inches from her ear. The bit about Alan being murdered in the gallery seems to have piqued her interest though. Something might have gotten splattered on one of Eric’s paintings, after all.

DT: So why does Dick get command of this giant law enforcement robot and not the chief of police? Oh, right. Because there’s a chance she might not order it to murder and disfigure suspected criminals.

GA: They drug this idiotic conversation out for two weeks, then skip the part where he actually agrees to sell the device?

GT: I gotta say, football action in Gil Thorpe is a lot less fun when everything’s drawn coherently. Where are the mystery objects? Where are the confusingly similar team uniforms? Where are the wolverine whiskers jutting out the sides of everyone’s faces? Where’s the confetti?

Oh well, at least some things stay the same. In panel one, I see Marty Moon’s managed to find an old case of Pabst Blue Ribbon with the pull tabs.
Muffaroo-who-walks
September 23rd, 2008 at 9:32 am [Reply]

A3G – Oh… OH… oh, NO!” “Margo, what’s wrong?!” “It’s Alan! He… he survived!”

Archie – Miss Grundy is really Jughead’s dad in drag.

BBailey – Fissiliercreagris is a real cave-dwelling mini-scorpion. Did they draw Beetle in front of a cave on purpose, or did they just hit that by accident?

DTraze-E – Why do I have the sudden suspicion that the whole Traze-R saga is going to turn out to be some bloody shaggy dog story. “Traze-R? Traze-R, my ass!”

Drabble – “Attention, dog owners! There’s a rumor circulating that the brown acid going around is poison. Cool it.”

FWbean – How could Funky eat so much of his own pizza and not know it was crap? His taste buds must be as dead as his soul.

GAlley – So, the deal is consummated at last, and Rover never got to say his “But…” which would have instantly queered the deal. Now he can live in hillbilly luxury, with swimming pools and movie stars, and Hoogy festooned in horribly tacky high kitsch fashion. So what was Rover’s big “but”?

“…but the device is only a cheap fraud I’ve been perpetrating on my firiends!”
“…but the thing always explodes spectacularly after 200 miles.”
“…but I have a highly contagious skin cancer, so you’d better not shake my hand.”
“…but my racist friends said they were going home to get their rifles.”
“…but I got the plans from an old Popular Mechanics that’s in the public domain anyway.”
“…but you know that as soon as you step out of the panel, you’ll cease to exist forever.”

GThorp – Without Marty Moon’s concise commentary, the action on the field would be nothing but little studies in light and dark squiggles. Can we hire him to call the action in the rest of the strip? “Jeff Ponczak’s brief show of bravery has gotten him a date, and if he can successfully execute the ‘fake yawn’ maneuver, he’ll be within a hand’s distance of his first-ever trip to Feel City.”
Muffaroo-who-walks
September 23rd, 2008 at 9:35 am [Reply]

Luann – TJ has overplayed his hand. Looks like he’ll be “sliding up and down the ol’ firepole” by himself again tonight.

MTrail – Is the drought making the people smaller, or is it making the flora and fauna uniformly bigger? If we use the Jack Elrod ball for scale, I’d say it’s the former.

Mduke – NRGHHH. Just. Can’t. Say. It.

Marvin – Going with the theory enunciated a thread or so back, that Marvin gabbles baby talk while moving his lips, the strip is marginally funnier if you tell yourself that none of the babies actually understands anything the other babies say, and that any appearance of causality in their nonsensical conversation is simply an irrelevant construct we put on after the fact. (I said “marginally.”)

Momma – And by “selling paper flowers,” we of course mean “hooking.”

MG&Grimm – Arrr harrrr!

My Cage – Interesting. I never thought of telling the “Great Big Green Gorilla” story as a first-person. I first heard that when I was about six!

Pluggers – A plugger’s ball-point pen doesn’t open the garage door. A plugger’s socks don’t drive his car. A plugger’s pockets don’t play pool… well, okay, we’ll give you that one. Let’s see… A plugger’s brain doesn’t have thoughts.

Popeye – If that’s a Whiffle Hen, we might be seeing the Luckiest Moon Critter ever!

RMMD – “The bartender took him home? Then he is truly lost to me… forever!”

SFx – Six differences? I’ll give you one: it was almost funny the first time.
Muffaroo-who-walks
September 23rd, 2008 at 9:36 am [Reply]

Hogenmogen @22 – “No criminal is safe – except, of course, if he climbs a flight of steps.” Not so! If he does that, then TRAZE-R’s little auxiliary unit, SQUEEL-R, will zip up after him and take his picture!! (ps: !!!! )

McManx @30 – Excellent point, re Dennis.
Hibbleton
September 23rd, 2008 at 9:47 am [Reply]

DTM Let’s see, a couple of little kids playing alone around an open well. I guess Joey will be following that piggy bank down the shaft pretty soon.

Housebroken made me chuckle today.
Jay
September 23rd, 2008 at 9:48 am [Reply]

The nurse in the background of Slylock worries me most, just standing in the back there, smiling, with her hands on her hips thinking, “Here’s he goes again, that old Rascal!”
boojum
September 23rd, 2008 at 9:51 am [Reply]

6 lesles:

I salute you, sir or madam. (One never knows, do one?) Your examination of today’s DtM was a miniature psychloogical thriller. I want a tee shirt that says

“My hobbies:
Tattooing
Scarification
Bacon”

I bet people would let me go to the front of the line at the bank, wearing that one.
Muffaroo-who-walks
September 23rd, 2008 at 10:00 am [Reply]

Snuffy – The writer has one of the she-hicks using the word “bookay.” In boldface, even. But why bother to use phonetic writing that doesn’t reflect any “humorous” mispronunciation? Is this what she deserves for being a lowly possum eater, so debased as to merit patronizing condescension even when she says it right?
Dingo
September 23rd, 2008 at 10:04 am [Reply]

Today’s B.C. works best if you imagine the answer is syphilis.
Hank
September 23rd, 2008 at 10:08 am [Reply]

RE: LuAnn. I’m surprised there isn’t more discussion about TJ accidentally outing himself today. Probably because it’s about as shocking as Richard Simmons doing so.
Calico
September 23rd, 2008 at 10:37 am [Reply]

3G – Margo is distressed because she’s the one who wanted to shoot Alan.

FC – Dolly is gesticulating in such a spastic manner, I think she found and consumed the 4 cans of Red Bull that Mommy hid in the cupboard in case of a “down day.”
Artist formerly known as Ben
September 23rd, 2008 at 10:39 am [Reply]

9/23
I liked the COTWs. Dingo’s was tres surreal.

DtM: The piggy bank actually has expressive eyes, in contrast to the inky black voids on Dennis’ face. Dennis, like so many things, is more menacing if you’re on psychoactive drugs.

MF: Aren’t the Republicans trying to win over discruntled Clintonistas? Bruce ain’t really helping the cause here.

MT: Once again, the environmental message is destroyed by overly lush coloring. If the other families are worried about anything, it’s the possibility of velociraptor attacks.

A3G: News of Alan’s shooting elicits a genuinely upset response from the Margo. Add in the fact that she’ll be the one informing Lu Ann, and I see a lot of chick flick mixed in with the 3G camp in the near future.

6C: I’m not sure if this is a shoutout directly to Mark Trail or to CC, but it’s funny either way.

H&J: “This section”? What section are you talking about exactly. Oh right, this is Herb & Jamaal.

FW: Alan from A3G has the same problem, but in his case it hasn’t caused any noticeable weight gain.

Baldo: Lynda Carter was and remains a very good-looking woman. This, on the other hand, is a freakish female quasihuman whose breasts are trying to become a second set of arms. Hector Cantu, do you want to chuck it all and work for Rob Liefeld?

SFx: That nurse has a body worthy of “Rex Morgan, MD,” but the look on her face makes me think she’s been cribbing from the pharmacy.

JP: And so Sam Driver continues to be what he’s always been: a smug whiteboy idiot with connections.

GT: The Bryan players have changed strategy, and are now walking like Egyptians.

Luann: Yes, wonderful idea. Have your crush object take a gander at all the men of the squad, shirtless. There really are no good options here, except maybe dragging someone off the street to be the judge.

H&L: Lois is savvy enough not to say that last part out loud, but her “Grinch stealing Christmas presents” grin may well scare off this latest batch of pigeons.
Artist formerly known as Ben
September 23rd, 2008 at 11:01 am [Reply]

#45 Muffaroo,
So when Sonia talks about “paper flowers”, she really means her…

AAAAAAAAARRRRRGGGGHHHH!!!!
Hogenmogen
September 23rd, 2008 at 11:01 am [Reply]

I’m not sure what The Bad Duck is trying to say here. That Obama was never married to the President? That overweight, androgynous voters secretly wish to marry John McCain? That Palin would be better qualified if she slept with Bill Clinton? That some badly drawn waterfowl with a former President’s name (albeit a crappy former President) should tell me who to vote for? The subtleties and inside references that pass for political discourse in this strip must be too smart for me.
teenchy
September 23rd, 2008 at 11:06 am [Reply]

DtM: “A Plugger’s 410(k).”
Hogenmogen
September 23rd, 2008 at 11:06 am [Reply]

H&J: How does that ball fly parallel to the row that they’re sitting in? What, was it hit by the guy who walks up and down the steps and sells ~~hot dogs~~ meat-like foodstuffs and other refreshments? That would make sense, as Herb must now by a replacement for his ~~popcorn~~ heated corn product covered in oil rich in saturated trans fats.

Just yesterday, Herb said that the tickets were so expensive for him that he couldn’t afford to buy snacks. Actually, he said that the tickets themselves were too expensive for him to afford, which then begs the question “How did he get there?”
Galuaboy
September 23rd, 2008 at 11:07 am [Reply]

DtM: Assuming that inanimate objects can’t change their expressions (with the notable exception of some of my mother’s creepy dolls late at night), you have to come to the logical conclusion that Dennis’ parents saw this piggy bank in the store with that sad-ass expression on its face and told the sales clerk, “Now that’s just the kind of depressing hopelessness we want to instill in our child . . . unless you have something in a weeping clown.”
teenchy
September 23rd, 2008 at 11:07 am [Reply]

Oh crap, I meant:

DtM: “A Plugger’s 401(k).”
Old School Allie Cat
September 23rd, 2008 at 11:07 am [Reply]

A3G – I sincerely hope that Margo and Tommie have to spend the rest of the week practicing saying, “Aww, there, there LuAnn – he’s in a better place” until they can do it without laughing.
Laura c
September 23rd, 2008 at 11:10 am [Reply]

For a kiddie comic, there’s always something in Slylock Fox that manages to chill the soul.
Poteet
September 23rd, 2008 at 11:15 am [Reply]

DtM — “It puts the lotion on its skin…” Sorry, but if I hadn’t done that, someone else would.
Hogenmogen
September 23rd, 2008 at 11:17 am [Reply]

Gil: What’s up with Coach Thorp? Ponczak is on second string? Anyone knows that with his height and speed, he really deserves to be a starter. Maybe not as defensive end, but maybe as nose tackle. Then he could run a split zone nickel defensive strategy, which would work against a team like the Bryan Bears. Bryan’s offense favors big pass plays, and Milford could shut them down entirely if they still had Matt Rogers in the field. Gil should cowboy up and push the offense towards running more wide screen …. I lost track of what I was saying right after “What’s up with Coach Thorp?”
kelsy
September 23rd, 2008 at 11:18 am [Reply]

Why is this Mary Worth storyline still going? I know all of the storylines are this tedious, but really, there’s nothing going on! Problem’s already solved.
gzuckier
September 23rd, 2008 at 11:20 am [Reply]

slylock….
why is the doctor listening to the kid’s junk?
commodorejohn
September 23rd, 2008 at 11:23 am [Reply]

A3G – “Oh NO! That bastard got blood all over my gallery floor!”

Crankshaft – If nothing else, this storyline gives us a good look at the formative years of Ed Crankshaft’s grim, spiteful glare.

FC – Hm, Jeff Keane has apparently moved from mocking brother Glen to sister Gayle. It’s a bit of a slow start, but I’m sure he’ll have her tromping around in fishnets or some damn thing before long.

FW – Ha ha! Obesity and despair!

JP – Wow. I had no idea the police department worked like this. As long as you’re two degrees of separation from a police officer, you get to hang out for suspect interrogation? Fascinating.

MT – “You’re right, Pop, this is terrible! That poor fawn has imprinted on a kangaroo! What’s that thing even doing in Florida?”

NS – um what

Phantom – “Next stop – state prison!“

RMMD – I’m quite enamored of Sissy the anchor-shirted waitress, who should get in on the obvious June-Faith-Heather spinoff strip I’ve referred to before, but that thing she’s doing with her chin in panel two kinda freaks me out.

Ziggy – Ziggy being attacked by a lobster is one of the more pleasing images in today’s comics.
Erich
September 23rd, 2008 at 11:24 am [Reply]

#22, #36 – It’s a Dalek!
He Brought Queenie Baby Jesus
September 23rd, 2008 at 11:26 am [Reply]

Look at Dennis’s expression. That’s a look of physical pleasure. I bet there’s not even money in the piggy bank.

Also, on Sunday the local paper printed Family Circus without the first blob of action, which made me highly confused about why Dolly had asked Billy to blow out her candles (but not about why Billy was imagining putting on Dolly’s dress).
commodorejohn
September 23rd, 2008 at 11:29 am [Reply]

#56 Hogenmogen – I expect only the permanently-sauced know for sure.
Comcis Fan
September 23rd, 2008 at 11:33 am [Reply]

Edge City: Enough with the speeding ticket, already! The boring story line seems longer than the points would be on her record. I like the strip. Please don’t jump the shark now. How about having Abby have to deal with PTA ubermoms, or with a working mom who seems to be more together than she is, or have Len worry about his 401K given the stock market and his business’s reliance on gasoline? Or how ’bout they make their delivery business “green,” with his hippieish mom as chief green officer, and become eccentric millionaires? It’s all better than a speeding ticket and points and downloading a cop’s self-published book on wiggling out of the ticket.

Sally Forth: Was Ted this much of a dork before? He’s blandly blondly good-looking and married with child, which can at least be dork-masking properties, for a while, even if they don’t make one immune. So why is he now out-nerding his preteen daughter? All a ruse for the emotional nerd affair he’s about to have?

Is Ces trying to show something of the infidelity that FBoFW couldn’t?
anthom
September 23rd, 2008 at 11:35 am [Reply]

Traze-R appears to be the sad Transformer version of a faun, perpetually stuck at half-transform; always part robot, part vehicle, never fully anything.

Or, possibly, a bust of Iron Man mounted on a range hood with wheels.
boojum
September 23rd, 2008 at 11:38 am [Reply]

A3G — To be fair, Margo suddenly has a lot to do. She has to rush to the gallery and triple the prices on Alan’s paintings, as he’s now a serious artist — being dead. (Bonus points if they have bullet holes and/or blood spatter.) She has to hang his last, tragically unfinished, masterpiece: I Could Use Some More Dope. And she has to revise Luann’s press materials, to reflect her increased celebrity status. (Chronic Intermittent Cerebral Anoxia got her a one-man show; even a tenuous link to a grisly murder, and Manhattan is her oyster.)
Bozo
September 23rd, 2008 at 11:42 am [Reply]

Dennis wow, what staring blank eyes you have, you look like something from The Ring.
Fuzziwig
September 23rd, 2008 at 11:43 am [Reply]

# jb23 says:
September 23rd, 2008 at 9:06 am

Slylock Fox– I am more than a little troubled by the palcement of the business end of the “doctor’s” stethoscope on his “patent”. Eww.

Timmy, please turn your head and cough.
Hank
September 23rd, 2008 at 11:47 am [Reply]

RE: Hogenmogen, commodore john, Mallard Fillmore. Actually today’s strip is one of the more understandable and valid gags he’s ever written.

Tinsley is pointing out that most of Hillary Clinton’s ‘experience’ is actually being married to a President and that there is a certain irony in a feminist (see, the ‘NOW’ button) supporting a female candidate who got elected on her husband’s name over one who got elected on her own.

Of course, reasonable people can disagree as to whether Clinton’s time as First Lady is a qualification to be President. People can also disagree on the policy positions of the DNC candidate vs the GOP one. However, Tinsley’s point remains valid insofar as it questions the hypocrisy of a group that claims to be for “women.”

Now, please stop politicizing the comments section under the guise of feigned ignorance and/or artistic commentary.
bats :[
September 23rd, 2008 at 11:47 am [Reply]

40. NoVan: it was Dennis’ vast eye blackness that really creeped me out, too.
Dingo
September 23rd, 2008 at 11:48 am [Reply]

I wish Moy & Giella would take a tip from the writer of Abel Boddy.

Okay, I have always told myself that no matter how awry an Abel Boddy storyline goes, I would always finish it. Even if I was cutting short. But frankly, this storyline has gone a little off track and I’ve been debating on breaking my rule and just abandoning it. This is part of the reason my last couple strips have been late. So, I’ve decided to let the readers answer this question for me:

Should I:

A)Finish this storyline (about three or four strips left) or B)Move onto the next, better researched, better planned out storyline?

Please comment below or send an email to…

My God, if only Lynn Johnston would have had the same pair of cajones.
commodorejohn
September 23rd, 2008 at 11:51 am [Reply]

#76 Hank – Clam down, man. I know I wasn’t trying to politicize anything, and I doubt Hogenmogen was either. I’m just so used to trying to puzzle out the booze-addled ramblings that typically comprise Mallard Fillmore that the pretty straightforward explanation you posted completely eluded me.
PeteMoss
September 23rd, 2008 at 11:52 am [Reply]

Dick Tracy remains a howling narrative void of madness.
void of madness? Not at all! In fact, it’s got heaping helpings of madness in every single frame.
mojo
September 23rd, 2008 at 11:54 am [Reply]

DtM: What I find soooo menacing is the odd angle that forces us to look up Dennis’s nostrils.
Orange Doorhinge
September 23rd, 2008 at 11:58 am [Reply]

#18 Mischief Maker: Yes! Yes! that robot must be the ancestor of the BS Galictica androids! Finally an explanation as to why they hate humans so much!
lesles
September 23rd, 2008 at 12:03 pm [Reply]

#51 Dingo – i always assume the answer is syphilis. it let me sail through english, history and politics, but never got me the marks in physics, maths and chem that my career dreams required. but who really wants to be an astronaut when one can be an unemployed artist? bet you’re not even allowed dope in space.
commodorejohn
September 23rd, 2008 at 12:06 pm [Reply]

Say, if Alan’s dead, and suffering inspires great art, what do you suppose is going to become of Luann’s painting? The mind boggles.
Al of the Christian Single Jungle Patrol
September 23rd, 2008 at 12:06 pm [Reply]

64 — Hogenmogen — Don’t ask me how I know this, but I think Ponczak is starting wide receiver or tight end or something…
commodorejohn
September 23rd, 2008 at 12:06 pm [Reply]

Say, if Alan’s dead, and suffering (supposedly) inspires great art, what do you suppose is going to become of Luann’s painting? The mind boggles.
commodorejohn
September 23rd, 2008 at 12:07 pm [Reply]

Gah, crazy browser.
Al of the Christian Single Jungle Patrol
September 23rd, 2008 at 12:08 pm [Reply]

Crankshaft — is the %$&^%&hole actually Bull Bushka’s father?
True Fable
September 23rd, 2008 at 12:08 pm [Reply]

I just want to know why the stethoscope is on the boy’s leg at all. Did it just fall there, was it placed there, or was it some sort of horrible lead-in to “Find all the EKG stick’ems” that this sick twisted perv enjoys just before he rips the head off his toy bear before the catatonic doctor.
One-eyed Wolfdog
September 23rd, 2008 at 12:09 pm [Reply]

Given the title of the post I was hoping there would be a panel 3 for MW along the lines of “Toby, if you want to stay safe, I’m going to have to ask you to put on this badger suit. Sure, it may seem silly but if you take it off even for a minute, the phishers will steal your eyeballs, better believe it, missy. Don’t forget to put the ears on.”
Aelfric
September 23rd, 2008 at 12:10 pm [Reply]

Just for the record, piggy banks are not anthropomorphic. Man banks would be, but piggy banks are not.
AsleepOrDead
September 23rd, 2008 at 12:13 pm [Reply]

59 Galuaboy: Dennis’ parents bought the piggy bank with the “sad-ass expression” because they wanted it to teach their son at an early age that the economy will eventually ream him just like everyone else.
Orange Doorhinge
September 23rd, 2008 at 12:13 pm [Reply]

A3G: Now Alan’s ghost will haunt the gallery, forever wandering thru its rooms in a futile quest for more Dope.
CanuckDownSouth
September 23rd, 2008 at 12:22 pm [Reply]

One thing to keep in mind with the developing FW obesity storyline – being overweight increases the risk of cancer! Metastasis is ba-ack in the running for Top Soul-Crushing Factor (a very, very tough competition in Funky Cancerbean)

Oh, and some more foefic foobery where, y’know, stuff actually happens :)
Uncle Lumpy
September 23rd, 2008 at 12:32 pm [Reply]

#93 OD inter alios –

I’m still looking for ways “Alan’s shooting death” could be a cheat (so jaded!). Could the real victim have been poor, misunderstood Ray?
PeteMoss
September 23rd, 2008 at 12:41 pm [Reply]

Garfield – Just the other day I was thinking to myself that, unlike Marvin, at least Garfield wasn’t typing on a computer. Sure, he occassionally operates a tv remote, but that’s about as technologically savy as he gets. But then, today – * sigh * Oh, well. At least the two typing panels aren’t identical.
gh
September 23rd, 2008 at 12:42 pm [Reply]

#95 Uncle Lumpy -

Alan steps out of the shower and Margo realizes it was all a dream. So she shoots him.
PeteMoss
September 23rd, 2008 at 12:44 pm [Reply]

Mallard Fillmore – Commenting on this particular strip leads to discord, I know, but here it goes anyway –
Who’s that, Tinsley, your mom? *snicker, snicker*
commodorejohn
September 23rd, 2008 at 12:45 pm [Reply]

#95 Uncle Lumpy – I used my magical scrying powers and peeked ahead; you might be surprised, but I’ll say no more. I may be precognitive, but I ain’t no spoiler ;)
gh
September 23rd, 2008 at 12:49 pm [Reply]

Life imitates art.

Check out the first entry below Richland County Sheriff.
johnbpt
September 23rd, 2008 at 12:52 pm [Reply]

MW — Stealing Toby’s identity is kind of like swindling a hobo out of his life savings. Though the cigar butts and half-eaten sandwich you’d score from the hobo would be a serious haul compared to the negligible shreds of identity you might be able to pilfer from Toby.
Patrick, Interlibrary Loan Lending Division
September 23rd, 2008 at 12:56 pm [Reply]

Foob freedom: Had I not looked at the Courier-Journal’s comics section last Sunday, I might have been able to claim I’ve been FOOB free for almost a week. Fortunately, I averted my eyes quickly. It feels good to have the foobtoxins drain away.

In today’s Herald-Leader, a local coffee stalker puts an impassioned plea for the return of FOOB completely unaware of the reboot and that her burning questions will never be answered until Lynn is about 120 if ever.
Perky Bird
September 23rd, 2008 at 1:00 pm [Reply]

Margo and Tommie won’t have the heart to tell LuAnn her boyfriend was just horribly murdered by a deranged drug addict. They’ll just tell her that he went to live on a nice farm in Nebraska, where he can chase squirrels all day long.
PeteMoss
September 23rd, 2008 at 1:10 pm [Reply]

Perky Bird @ 103
Ha ha! Comment of the Day!
will
September 23rd, 2008 at 1:17 pm [Reply]

There’s some kind of weird bird shit nexus between Gasoline Alley and Zits.
Donald The Anarchist
September 23rd, 2008 at 1:18 pm [Reply]

DTM “You haft kill what you love, Joey. It’s the only way to be strong.”

MW No, she can’t be phishing her because her head isn’t in Toby’s lap…oh. THAT kind of phishing. Never mind.
Joe Blevins
September 23rd, 2008 at 1:26 pm [Reply]

DTM: So what do you suppose the Mitchell boy’s wish is? The mind boogles, but I’m sure Joey’s fondest wish is to someday be the Ottis Toole to Dennis’ Henry Lee Lucas.
T. Chicana
September 23rd, 2008 at 1:30 pm [Reply]

Oooh, *squeal of delight!* I’m on the float. (and a lil’ late to the party)
FW: Pull yourself out of your funk, Funky. Right now. Get dressed, get going, stop making stupid puns about your fat ass and DO something about it! Pull some workout clothes over your hideously lumpy and misshapen form. Take a break from eating your strangely liquid cost-reduced pizza. Learn the name of your son’s best friend and ask if they will take you for a walk up to the school gym! Where you can get lectured some more by Creepy Les and have the puns start all over again. Sigghhhh.
Bribaby
September 23rd, 2008 at 1:38 pm [Reply]

Terry the security expert’s look of bewilderment, pity and resignation betrays her true thoughts: “Oh Toby…Toby Toby Toby. I was hoping it wouldn’t come to this. You’ll have to be put down.”

I like the giant profile shot used in two of the three Dick Tracy panels today. I think the artist should just go ahead and admit to himself that he really wants to use it in every single panel, every single day, and do it. Just have giant law enforcement profiles smashing the bad guys.
fishmorgjp
September 23rd, 2008 at 1:49 pm [Reply]

The Traze-r reminds me of old classic toy robot: Robot Commando! It rolled along on its tracks, firing missiles out of its head, shooting balls out of its hand, all the while rolling its scary black cocked eyes. Perhaps Traze-r will soon demonstrate similar abilities when things go haywire, as they surely will.
Sam
September 23rd, 2008 at 2:15 pm [Reply]

Hopefully Alan’s blood splattered on a blank canvas and they can sell it.
dale
September 23rd, 2008 at 2:19 pm [Reply]

smokie – 14 – DT’s silly robot
You’re right. Also, unless the upper 2/3 is hollow, it couldn’t get up and down the ramp to the truck. The mobile-transporter would have to include a forklift.

Luann
Letting Toni be the judge makes no sense. She has to work with those guys. Unlesss … her part of the spread gets her an immediate position in a more lucrative line of work.
re
September 23rd, 2008 at 2:20 pm [Reply]

re: Today’s Mallard Filmore…

…except that N.O.W. has endorsed… Barack Obama. So I’m a bit baffled by what point he’s trying to make. (Is this a gag left over from the Spring?)
crossbuck
September 23rd, 2008 at 2:45 pm [Reply]

@91
Piggy banks can, however, be anthropomorphized. Just watch the film Easy Living (1937), and you’ll see how.
Marthas Rolling Pin
September 23rd, 2008 at 2:47 pm [Reply]

Good People,
No snark today, just a little mash note of gratitude to Josh and all of y’all who drop by on a regular basis. When it seems like the foundations of our world are about to crumble, it’s comforting to just come here and bask in the silliness for a little while. I don’t have much to say usually, ’cause the snark has pretty much been done far better than I could by the time I drop in on my lunch hour; but I do appreciate every one of you, and look forward to reading what you have to say.
It’s even better than the Owls’ Club! Josh, check the tip jar; and a tip o’ the old topper to everyone else.
One-eyed Wolfdog
September 23rd, 2008 at 2:48 pm [Reply]

You guys are reading too much into the A3G dialogue. Margo’s distressed “Oh… oh… oh, NO!” is clearly occasioned by nothing more than the realization that four consecutive sentences have just appeared without Margo being the subject of any of them. OH NO!!! indeed.
Hogenmogen
September 23rd, 2008 at 3:01 pm [Reply]

#76 – Hank said “RE: Hogenmogen, commodore john, Mallard Fillmore. Actually today’s strip is one of the more understandable and valid gags he’s ever written.”

I was trying to point out that Hillary Clinton is not in this election. Even if she was, she has still spent the past eight years in the Senate, which is in fact experience in national government.

Vote any damn way you want. But you can’t vote for a candidate that married the President, because none of those are on the ballot.
Solocardate
September 23rd, 2008 at 3:05 pm [Reply]

re, I think that AngryDuck is accusing NOW of some sort of hypocrisy because those mean old butchy feminists have failed to swarm in support of Sarah Palin, who is, after all, a woman, with ovaries and everything. What, they want someone whose positions they agree with, too?

Hank @ 76 has a more nuanced reading of the strip, which I would be inclined to accept were it not for one small matter: I refuse to believe that Tinsley is capable of any level of nuance.
gh
September 23rd, 2008 at 3:08 pm [Reply]

#117 Hogenmogen –

Vote any damn way you want. But you can’t vote for a candidate that married the President, because none of those are on the ballot.

I don’t want to get us all Cockpitted, but it’s “you can’t vote for a candidate who married the President . . .”

Vote Grammarian, 2008!

Plus, it’s “none . . . is.”
Hogenmogen
September 23rd, 2008 at 3:10 pm [Reply]

A3G plot twist: Ray shot Eric, who showed up randomly at the studio as he has been randomly appearing and disappearing for about three years now.
Perky Bird
September 23rd, 2008 at 3:13 pm [Reply]

A3G- Police Officer: “I’m sorry, Ms. Magee, but your curator was shot to death in the studio last night. But on the brighter side, I just saved a bundle on my insurance by switching to Geico!”
Les of the Jungle Patrol
September 23rd, 2008 at 3:15 pm [Reply]

#76 – It’s still MF insanity. He’s drawn a random person stating a common opinion. But he put a button on her for a particular organization, implying a link between the two where none exists, except in his fevered, booze-filled brain.
Hogenmogen
September 23rd, 2008 at 3:16 pm [Reply]

119 – I don’t know if you can get cockpitted for pointing out a grammatical faux pas. You’re right. It seemed awkward to me, but I didn’t dwell on why.

I still don’t understand Mallard’s joke, though.
Batman Beatles
September 23rd, 2008 at 3:19 pm [Reply]

According to Mallard Fillmore, feminists all look like Large Marge.
Michelle Elsky
September 23rd, 2008 at 3:20 pm [Reply]

Oh my god, is that a tear falling from Toby’s eye? Is she still crying about this? Sometimes I want to punch her right in the mouth.
odinthor
September 23rd, 2008 at 3:22 pm [Reply]

74. Bozo. —

Dennis wow, what staring blank eyes you have, you look like something from The Ring.

The Ring?

The Ring?

The Ring?

The Ring:

“Well, while I live I’ll fear no other thing
So sore as keeping safe Nerissa’s ring.”
(Act 5, final lines, Merchant of Venice, Wm. Shakespeare)
Shmork
September 23rd, 2008 at 3:23 pm [Reply]

I love the artwork on today’s Dennis—he could just as easily be saying, “it rubs the lotion on its skin.”
Steve the Pocket
September 23rd, 2008 at 3:24 pm [Reply]

Muffaroo #45: Uh, the joke is referring to people who use their cell phone clocks instead of wearing watches. But it’s still a stretch (the victim of overapplying a new fad, which admittedly is better than being desperately behind the times, plus there’s no way to word the caption so it really works).

#78 Dingo: Heh, I know how that feels. I’ve been trapped in a storyline and stalling my way out of an ending for months now (granted, my strip only runs twice a week). Sounds like Gasoline Alley has been in this rut lately too. There should be a word for when you do that. Or at least a designated Trope.

And now, on to the snark.

FOOB: This joke was funnier when Baby Blues did it fifteen years ago.

Luann: So… is Teej just pansexually nympho? Are we accepting that explanation now? For that matter, are we just assuming there’ll be separate men and women calendars? Because they seem to be jumping back and forth between suggesting all-male and all-female lineups with every alternate line. Poorly.

Family Circus: Can someone please tell me what Disney film features a “Prince Goofy”? I can’t think of it.

9 Chickweed Lane: Does anyone remember back when Walt Kelly died, for a while his kids used cut-and-paste artwork to try and continue the strip? Except they couldn’t reuse backgrounds, so everyone was just living in an empty void all of a sudden? That’s what this past week’s Chickweed strips have been reminding me of. And I want to say to Mr. McEldowney: “Walt Kelly was dead; what’s your excuse?”
Marthas Rolling Pin
September 23rd, 2008 at 3:33 pm [Reply]

Another opportunity to plug your favorite strips: The Raleigh News & Observer is running its annual comics poll at http://share.triangle.com/comicsvote. This one only offers opportunities to vote for favorites, so no chance to vent your pet hates. Act now, while the N&O is still alive!
another Josh
September 23rd, 2008 at 3:34 pm [Reply]

I think the real menace from Dennis is the way he can bend space around himself. That wishing well sign is not obeying the laws of gravity, it’s being sucked towards the vortex caused by Dennis. I think poor Joey is just trying to hold on so he doesn’t get sucked in as well. And I’m not even sure the pig is falling, rather it’s just hovering there between Dennis’ demonic hands.
Les of the Jungle Patrol
September 23rd, 2008 at 3:37 pm [Reply]

Oh lord, my brain was booze filled in post 122. Today’s comic is still stupid, though.

I have to say that my favorite part of Mallard Fillmore is his graduation-themed strips. They just scream out “you kids get off my lawn!” Certainly the way to recruit young voters is to insult them. Keep up the good work, deranged ducky.
gh
September 23rd, 2008 at 3:39 pm [Reply]

123 — Just trying to introduce some levity. As for Mallard’s joke, it’s funny ’cause he’s a DUCK! Sort of like Marmaduke’s a Big Dog. Get it? No? What about Ziggy’s mice then? They’re mice! And they talk! Still no?

Fine. Blame the animals.
NoVan
September 23rd, 2008 at 3:45 pm [Reply]

I hate to think mention Dennis the Menace more than once in any given month, but has anyone else noticed the screwy perspective in today’s strip? What could it mean?

Apartment 3G: if you change the “no” to a “yes”, then Margo is having phone sex with a policeman. Problem solved.
Consul the Almost Human
September 23rd, 2008 at 3:46 pm [Reply]

#128: Steve the Pocket

Like Pygmalion, McE has fallen in love with his creation, making it harder for him to draw with just one hand.
Hogenmogen
September 23rd, 2008 at 3:52 pm [Reply]

132 – Tinsley thinks he’s funny, because Mallard is a big duck. And he’s right, because Mallard is abnormally large for a duck. He really has to be drawn as large as Marmaduke to create general yukks. It’s a shame that GF and PBS will never be funny because their animals are drawn short (or for you lib-r-uls “vertically challenged”).

But no matter how big Mallard is drawn, this particular strip could not possibly be funny because Mallard is not actually present. Marmaduke at least puts in an appearance in every panel. He doesn’t actually do anything particularly hilarious, but the fact that he’s a big dog and you see him never gets old!
gh
September 23rd, 2008 at 4:03 pm [Reply]

135 — But Mallard is always there in spirit. Or, spirits, at least.

As for Marmaduke — I know! I was, like, ROFLMAOWTFJCTOBF’nD*! today because he was in the panel! That guy really knows how to bring it.

*Answer key on sale in the lobby.
Islamorada Girl
September 23rd, 2008 at 4:15 pm [Reply]

#103–Perky Bird gets my COTW vote.
bats :[
September 23rd, 2008 at 4:27 pm [Reply]

I’m guessing that Ray shot LuAnn, who has been wandering around behind draperies, pulling a Polonius, ever since she went snooping around Alan’s apartment in search of his “art.”
No, wait. That was Alan’s apartment. This is Margo’s gallery. Heck, I stand by my speculation.
Uncle Lumpy
September 23rd, 2008 at 4:40 pm [Reply]

Dare I hope that Ray’s shot proves that all A3G men are the same guy as they all (including Eric in Tibet and Ray himself) fall to the ground at once?

At which Tommie wails, “now I’ll never get laid.”
SF_Reader
September 23rd, 2008 at 4:59 pm [Reply]

The next GIl Thorp plot?

http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/n/a/2008/09/23/national/a110946D99.DTL&tsp=1
boojum
September 23rd, 2008 at 5:04 pm [Reply]

I fear we are in danger of forgetting The First Law of A3G Plot Dynamics: “Objects at rest tend to remain at rest, Objects that appear to be in motion are, in fact, at rest.” The corollary, which we are observing in this week’s strips, is the Corollary of Failed Expectations. To wit:

1) Because Margo reacts in horror, nothing happened.
2) Because Ray fired on Alan at point-blank range, he missed.
3) Because this is a crisis, Alan learned nothing.

I predict: Gunfire always makes Ray fall asleep. Alan goes to Haley’s for sweet, sweet Dope. Margo learns that Alan left the gallery lights on.

It’s Tommy’s most exciting day ever.
PeteMoss
September 23rd, 2008 at 5:12 pm [Reply]

Fruhlinger,
another Josh @130,
No Van @ 133

Stopitstopitstopit! Stop making me look closer and closer at that DtM with all it’s alternating perspectives and surreal dipictions! What is not-Ketchem trying to do to us? How is this wicked picture changing our very psyche? Is it brain washing? Is it inducing madness?! Won’t somebody wipe Joey’s nose, for Boxcar sake? This is worse than that picture of dogs…playing poker!

Why can’t the papers print some nice, soothing images, like those by Sal Dali or MC Echer?
Mr. Plow
September 23rd, 2008 at 5:22 pm [Reply]

H & J: Yeah, like those seats at Wrigley are only $50 … try $70 or more.
Jonny Quest
September 23rd, 2008 at 5:26 pm [Reply]

Judge Parker: Will we ever find out what was in the little green (or red?) golf book? Has Marie’s ankle healed? What are Gloria and Steve doing? Have Abbey’s drug dealing neighbors adjusted to prison life? Is the Afghan terrorist with them or has she been shipped to Gitmo? What is Neddy doing in Paris? Is Sophie working on her bottled water project or has she moved on to something else? Has Randy been elected judge? Is Trudi still wearing those skin tight tops? All these loose ends; my head is spinning.
Orange Doorhinge
September 23rd, 2008 at 5:29 pm [Reply]

If Alan wasn’t killed, he’ll be in the hospital for a while…probably with a morphine drip. Maybe Ray or Roy was just trying to help?
bats :[
September 23rd, 2008 at 5:31 pm [Reply]

144. Jonny Quest: I recall that Abbey is going to attend the annual Arabian Horse Show in Scottsdale in October. Given the glacial pacing of the strip, I have two questions (one pertinent to the pacing, the other, not so much):
1. Is Abbey going to be at this year’s show (so many she and Sam can rendezvouz there), or the one in 2011?
2. Is Babe’s Cabaret one of the sponsors of the Show? Maybe Dixie is one of the horse handlers there…
PeteMoss
September 23rd, 2008 at 5:52 pm [Reply]

A Plugger’s handkerchief never asks questions in Spanish.
A Plugger’s suspenders won’t charge rent.
A Plugger’s wallet is never full of cat litter.
A Plugger’s gun doesn’t kill people. Pluggers kill people.
PeteMoss
September 23rd, 2008 at 5:58 pm [Reply]

RxMorgan MD
There must be a full moon as Rex begins the transformation. Run, Sissy, Run! He’s liable to bump into you on his way to devour the adolesent boy across the restaurant!
Michael
September 23rd, 2008 at 6:19 pm [Reply]

A3G – Margo, you’ll extend the use of the cell phone’s battery if you turn down the speaker volume and hold the phone closer to your ear.
El Santo
September 23rd, 2008 at 6:33 pm [Reply]

You’re treading on water, Josh. I’m pretty sure there are plenty of fursuiters who are Slylock Fox fans.

Just sayin’.
Glaivester
September 23rd, 2008 at 6:37 pm [Reply]

Piggy banks are zoomorphic. Ecept, of course, for Benjamin Bankes of feedthepig.com
spike
September 23rd, 2008 at 7:03 pm [Reply]

DtM: Can we be certain that today’s installment shouldn’t be run on the Op-Ed Page? I’m sure the grimacing piggy bank is loaded with $700 billion.

MW: As glacial as the pace has been, it’s only going to get worse when Mary finally re-enters the stage and Toby feels compelled to fill Mary in on all that she’s recently learned from Counselor Troi.

FW: Great! Now we can all learn about the joys of bariatric surgery.
Brick Bradford
September 23rd, 2008 at 7:04 pm [Reply]

#115 There’s an Owl’s Club? Can I join?

#126 It’s definitely the third link. Oh, and I think Tobey just logged on to buy one of those.
dale
September 23rd, 2008 at 7:27 pm [Reply]

Marthas Rolling Pin – 129 – N&O Survey

The survey has a very poorly constructed question about keeping strips with no new content. Their examples are Peanuts and FBOFW, which doesn’t satisfy that criterion.
At the last second I voted no opinion on this question, but voted for both individually. Peanuts is a classic. FOOB sucks, but I want the convenience of a paper copy for when people comment on it.

Note Rule 7. After months of hype, our votes aren’t deciding. Last year when the votes were in, they said: Here’s what we’re gonna do. Your votes were interesting.
Talking Squirrel
September 23rd, 2008 at 7:43 pm [Reply]

“Piggy banks are zoomorphic.”

Zoomorphic? Doesn’t that mean they go down to hell and come back really fast? I hope it’s not a one-way trip for this youngun.

Much like the original teddy bear, the piggy bank is inextricably linked to a former president — Millard Fillmore, our lucky 13th (also last of the Whig presidents and first, mercifully unsuccessful, Know Nothing Party prexy candidate). Thank you Millard Fillmore for setting the stage for the War of Fratricidal Unpleasantness!

Having a longstanding devotion to all things numismatic, Fillmore created the first piggy bank, a taxidermied real Arkansas hawg with a slot for coins and an embedded chamberpot to hold them.

Fillmore retired to bed with it every night, and loved it up so much that eventually all the hair was worn off it. Henceforth, traditional piggy banks have been constructed of non-furbearing materials.

In a peculiar coincidence, Mallard, Millard’s great-great-great-grandgosling, is also notable for his lack of furbearance.
Gadge Cubic, Mole Preener
September 23rd, 2008 at 7:43 pm [Reply]

Hey, Dingo. (By the way: that’s not where a breath mint goes.)

Y’all missed my late-inning contribution a few days ago. I don’t remember what it was anymore – probably, I dunno, something about Sarah Palin, John McCain, a truck full of Mexican Viagra, five burros, and a lifesize cardboard cutout of Dolly from “Family Circus.”
Nonny
September 23rd, 2008 at 7:46 pm [Reply]

The most disturbing thing about Slylock Gox is that the young lad is tent-poling. From the look on the nurse’s face, I’d guess she had something to do with it.
Sue T.
September 23rd, 2008 at 7:49 pm [Reply]

Now THIS Dennis knew how to be a menace. Not to mention really, really racist.
Hasty Penguin
September 23rd, 2008 at 7:59 pm [Reply]

Thank God the police force aren’t changing how the office is run when they’ve got a giant robot on their side. “Now we don’t have to send the rookie for coffee! Diet Smith, you’ve done it again.”
Andrew Leal
September 23rd, 2008 at 8:22 pm [Reply]

Slylock Fox: Josh, your increasingly prurient interpretations trouble me. The boy’s macrocephalic head could not fit inside that bear head anyway. No, he has merely innocently and childishly decapitated his plaything and wants the doctor to correct the matter. Having learned how simple it is, the kid will eagerly do the same to his kid sister and playmates in order to supply more “new patients.” Simple, everyday childhood fun. Why must you distort things so, Josh?
rusustust
September 23rd, 2008 at 8:31 pm [Reply]

Dennis the Menace-

That’s a real pig. The gods of wishing can only be satisfied with blood sacrifice.
Muffaroo-who-walks
September 23rd, 2008 at 8:46 pm [Reply]

Steve the Pocket @128 – I understood what Pluggers thought it was saying, and I mocked it because it was stupid. Please don’t throw me in the mockpit.

Also, when Walt Kelly died, his widow Selby continued the strip. She could handle the art (I couldn’t find any larger examples online), but the strip faded away before long anyway. I see here she died in 2005.

boojum @141 – Darn good scientific observations, there. Your First Law should be… I dunno, written on… something… I haven’t really thought this through.
Digger
September 23rd, 2008 at 8:51 pm [Reply]

Sally Forth: Aria needs to try a different approach if she’s going to score with Ted. If Ted wants to be around a woman who constantly cuts him down with snide sarcasm, he already has Sally.
Kris
September 23rd, 2008 at 8:58 pm [Reply]

On MW, I read that last line as “OMG she could be fisting you right now!”.

Now THAT would spark an interesting turn of events…
commodorejohn
September 23rd, 2008 at 9:22 pm [Reply]

#150 El Santo – I think I know of one that hangs out here, but I’m not going to mention any names, because he/she is too cool to get harassed for a minor oddity.
Mibbitmaker
September 23rd, 2008 at 10:17 pm [Reply]

S4th: Once again, Ted is, indeed, just going after another Sally. So it won’t “really” be an affair, I guess. Aria is just his Nerd Sally.

FC: Dolly’s trying to be Danae. Dolly’s clearly hard-up for role models.

Nancy: That’s actually Ozzy Osbourne under that trash can.

Ghost-Who-Wins-Too-Easily: That’s where Ray from A3G will go: “BOOM”sby Prison.

The Faber College Mind of Edison Lee: Hey, they never put “became a grade school principal” in the “Where are they now”s on “Animal House”!! Besides, I thought that guy died in ‘Nam!
Sobek
September 23rd, 2008 at 10:17 pm [Reply]

The Doctor in “6 Differences”: “Hmm, I don’t like the sound of that kneecap one bit.”
Harold
September 23rd, 2008 at 10:25 pm [Reply]

Ghost-Who-Taunts: I’m actually intrigued by what’s going on here. Has Chatu gone straight?

Crankshaft: If this storyline doesn’t bring up Moses Walker, the VERY first black baseball player in the Majors (in 1884!) who, along with his brother Welday, played for the Mud Hens’ predecessor, the Toledo Blue Stockings, I will feel like I wasted my time with an Uncle John’s Bathroom Reader this morning.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Moses_Fleetwood_Walker

Beetle Bailey: Fissilliercreagris? Seriously? What brought that on?

Luann: T.J. is totally, totally gay. Not that I have a problem with that. I’m jes’ sayin’, is all.
LTBF
September 23rd, 2008 at 10:49 pm [Reply]

My local paper did a survey a few months ago and all they did was drop Cathy and have had strips “audition” for a month at a time. They’ve had about six differant strips and they all sucked worse than Cathy,

Jump Start….Where is the author going with this political series featurng the white parents of the lady married to the black guy? Why is the kid still at the grandparents…weren’t black guy and white wife going home the other day?

Sally Forth…Why is this chick who has the hots for Ted making fun of him? Anybody who goes around quoting geeky sci-fi movies from behind to toal strangers has little room to talk.
Artist formerly known as Ben
September 23rd, 2008 at 10:51 pm [Reply]

#158 Sue T,

Holy living motherfuck! Is that actually a real Dennis panel? That kind of big-white-lips drawing is like something from before they ended Prohibition.
wooddragon
September 23rd, 2008 at 10:59 pm [Reply]

Re: Luann, let me just jump on the bandwagon with the folks saying TJ’s gotten a lot less subtle (well…) today. Judge the firemen for the calendar??
NoVan
September 23rd, 2008 at 11:02 pm [Reply]

I’m not going to lie, Sue T, that panel is beyond hilarious. I’m not saying racial humour is funny- it’s not- but damn, who knew this un-menacing strip was capable of such controversy? We wouldn’t be that shocked today if Jeffy came out of the closet!
TrapperSF
September 23rd, 2008 at 11:17 pm [Reply]

Ok, can I just say that Toby better have clean out the cookies on her internet browser before getting back on with the Dominatrix anti-phisher??? I mean, do we really need to see that Toby has been going to “YW4OCIS” (Young Women for Older Chinbeards in Shorts)????
Tabby Lavalamp
September 23rd, 2008 at 11:21 pm [Reply]

The fact that I know that furries call their furry persona their “fursona” makes me want to go to bed tonight with a plastic bag over my head.
Paperback Rifler
September 23rd, 2008 at 11:35 pm [Reply]

A belated congratulations to the COTW honorees; and just a little reminder that my substandard snark like the following only serves to make everybody else’s snark seem much, much funnier:

142. Pete Moss: Today’s Dennis the Menace could be even worse than you think. Not only is it heavy on the surreality and skewed with the perspective, but if you look closely, you can see that there is also the possibility that Dennis and Joey aren’t wearing any clothes.
(Aside: The Menace vs. Coherence project stubbornly perseveres with entries from the 22nd and the 23rd. That’s all really neither here nor there, though.)

Sally Forth: So this “Aria” temptress is just engaging Ted in platonic banter, right? She must realize that Ted’s married, right? I mean, his wedding band must look absolutely enormous on that slender, girl gymnast-size hand of his.

Baldo and Doonesbury: So was anyone else idly wishing to see a wrestling bout between the Lynda Carter representation and the Sarah Palin representation? Maybe involving gelatin? No? Well, er . . . me neither! Harumph!

Foob: Gee. So it would seem that even as a toddler, Elizabeth was totally “gah-gah” for things that were tepid, bland, and pasty. That’s very depressing somehow.
Muffaroo-who-walks
September 23rd, 2008 at 11:42 pm [Reply]

Interesting. I looked at that 1970 Dennis drawing with Jackson, and thought, “This doesn’t look right. I suspect a fake.” So I went to Ketcham’s book, The Merchant of Dennis the Menace, and found a different cartoon with a fairly innocuous drawing (page 210), and an explanatory note: “This was a mild version of Dennis’s black neighbor. Earlier, in a fit of lapsus noodle, I concocted a lampoon that caused chaos and anguish.”

Chaos and anguish? I looked in vain for the drawing that has been linked to above. The one in the book — the mild version, with a reasonable enough depiction of an African-American kid — has Dennis saying, “Me ‘n’ Jackson are exactly the same age. Only he’s different. He’s left-handed!” (And Hank’s different. He’s heavy-handed!) We find more in about a page worth of memoir with the heading Black Was Beautiful

“Back in the late 1960s when minorities were getting their dander up, painting signs, joining in protest marches, and calling attention to their plight, I was determined to join the parade led by Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr., and introduce a black playmate to the Mitchell neighborhood. I named him Jackson and designed him in the tradition of Little Black Sambo with huge lips, big white eyes, and just a suggestion of an Afro hairstyle. He was cute as a button, and in addition to being a marvelous graphic, he would reflect the refreshing, naive honesty of preschool children as yet unexposed to prejudice and rancor. It was a splendid opportunity to inject some humor into the extremely tense political climate. I urged my writers to give this priority and rolled up my sleeves with enthusiastic anticipation.

He talks for another paragraph about how uncomplimentary most caricatures are, describing Dennis as looking “like a midget running around with a load in his pants!” He mentions the cartoon with the caption “I’ve got a race problem with Jackson. He can run faster than me!”

A harmless little play on words and, I felt, a soft, amusing beginning. Not so. The rumble started in Detroit, then moved south to St. Louis where rocks and bottles were thrown through the windows of the Post-Dispatch. Newspaper delivery boys were being chased and hassled in Little Rock, and in Miami some Herald editors were being threatened. The cancer quickly spread to other large cities.

Ketcham, in Geneva, gets the news and is shocked, then angry. On request from his colleagues, he dictates a statement to the newspapers involved, making a point

not to apologize but to express my utter dismay at the absurd reaction to my innocent cartoon… Any regular Dennis-watcher would surely know that I am never vindictive or show any intent to malign or denigrate… It was my depiction of Dennis’s new pal that got their tails in a knot. I gave them a miniature Steppin [sic] Fetchit when they wanted a half-pint Harry Belafonte.
It seems that Sammy Davis, Jr., was the only one who could safely poke fun at the minorities. To this day, Jackson remains in the ink bottle. A pity.

So it looks like that’s just what Ketcham drew — a regular Golliwog. Didn’t anybody, you know, tell him, over there in Switzerland, that Little Black Sambo was one of the reasons for all that marching and stuff?

Ketcham came back to the US after a while. I’m too tired now to look up the year. He said he was on the point of having Dennis come in the door wearing Lederhosen and ask for some wine, and knew he had to get out of Switzerland. Yes, I’d say he was out of touch, all right.
Tahleen
September 24th, 2008 at 12:30 am [Reply]

I guess killing Alan was the easiest way to get Luann with Jack. Otherwise we’d be hearing about her guilt and uncertainty about her attraction for months.
Angry Kem
September 24th, 2008 at 12:50 am [Reply]

Gosh…

Something happened in A3G.
bats :[
September 24th, 2008 at 12:52 am [Reply]

Some Humpday thoughts:

Phantom: kill him, Ghost-Who-Wreaks-Vengeance-on-Those-Who-Kill-Bats. KILL HIM!

On the topic of the Phantom’s non-spandexed form, I think it’d be cool if he pretended to be blind and used Devil as a seeing-eye dog. Yes? No? Too obvious? Using his horse as a seeing-eye horse?

RMMD: I wonder if there’s a real Ollie Tweaks…

FOOBlite: I might sympathize with St. Mikey, but not when all that’s been shown by the Creatrix what a consistent and unrelenting shit he is.
In Light Syrup
September 24th, 2008 at 1:04 am [Reply]

A3G: Weeell, I guess that’s that, although that was sort of a brutal way to get rid of a boring character. I sort of thought that Alan would just fade into the background. Like Tommie.
Toronto
September 24th, 2008 at 1:07 am [Reply]

Muffaroo – I first heard that as Ketchum not wanting Henry to show up bicycling home, with a baguette under his brake cables.
Calvin's Cardboard Box
September 24th, 2008 at 1:12 am [Reply]

After wandering in the wilderness for a while, we are back to classic Get Fuzzy today. Bravo!
Dingo
September 24th, 2008 at 1:13 am [Reply]

At the moment someone’s death is announced, one should politely express feelings of shock. However, upon seeing the third panel of Apt. 3G, it’s almost impossible to do anything but wonder what happened to Tommie Thompson skull that it has to be put back into place with both hands and a bobble. Did the announcement literally snap her head? Perhaps she’s regretting not purchasing a print before his death jacked the prices up.
Poteet
September 24th, 2008 at 1:40 am [Reply]

# 176 Muffaroo — Thanks for clearing that up. Somehow I thought that Ketcham lived in Paris, and that the danger was of the Eiffel Tower showing up in panel backgrounds.

MT — Warning, Rant Ahead. First, when conservation geeks refer to “grasslands,” we almost always mean ecosystems dominated by grasses and forbs, with few trees or shrubs. This place, whatever and wherever it is, doesn’t seem to qualify.

Second, even the most noble conservationists can’t legally traipse around trespassing, which is what Mark and Pop seem to be doing. If they tried that on my land, I’d have a few things to say.

Third, HOW are the villainous Mustachioed Miscreants draining that wetland? One of the inconvenient things about wetlands, for developers, is that they have to be tiled or ditched or filled. They can’t just be ordered to dry up. And as a minor aside, what’s with the raccoon obsession? Wetlands have other mammals that can be portrayed as morose refugees.
Poteet
September 24th, 2008 at 1:44 am [Reply]

A3G — Great, now we’ll NEVER get to South Dakota.
Poteet
September 24th, 2008 at 1:51 am [Reply]

# 176 Muffaroo — Wait a minute, something just belatedly hit me. Ketcham had “writers”?! As in, people to write DENNIS THE MENACE so he wouldn’t have to come up with the ideas himself while he was enduring the hardships *snort* of life in Geneva?

Nice work if you can get it.
Mibbitmaker
September 24th, 2008 at 2:04 am [Reply]

9/24 A3G: They did it. They went and did it. Now, I can do this officially:

“It’s too late! He’s dead! Another junkie-related death!”

Though when Dan Aykroyd did it, it sounded like, “It’s too late! He’s det!”

I’m seriously wondering about Margo in this. In the middle panel, she has her patented arrogant, ‘looking down on you’ expression and head position — which is entirely inappropriate for the situation. It’s like, with Margo, she’s a liar ‘n’ I hate her!!

Sad thing about the now-dispicable Ray killing Alan is that, whenever LuAnn sees just about every man in her strip, it’ll remind her of Alan.
Because just about all the men in A3G look alike!
Cheese-n-Pear
September 24th, 2008 at 2:11 am [Reply]

A3G: Not that I mourn Alan’s passing one bit, but this just seems like a sudden way to end all the potential stories about Alan embezzling money, dealing drugs out of the gallery, and whatever Luann discovered in his apartment. Of course, we can look forward to Margo being put out having to find something appropriate to wear to the morgue.

MT: Sure, you might have the right people on your side, but do they know where to get their hands on some ducks and geese?

GT: Hey! Sacko! Sackodog! Sackmeister! Sackity-sack! Dumber than a sack o’ hair! . . . I’m sorry. I’m really having a hard time staying focused on this comic.

Marmaduke: Is that dog . . . ? . . . umm . . . look, I’ll just leave you two to be alone.
Mibbitmaker
September 24th, 2008 at 2:29 am [Reply]

9/24:

BBlues: It’s harder to wear them that way, too.

DT: “No, he’s designed for big jobs” …Like getting coffee?!?

GT: …Makin’ cop-ieeees!

JP: I’d also like to ask Sam to get out of our way! Leave the excessive close-ups to “Dick Tracy”, okay?

MF: Tinz couldn’t give Hillary an oversized chin, so he overcompensated with the hair.

MT: Mustache! We have mustache! Repeat: We have mustache! Proceed, Trail. Over.
Flealick
September 24th, 2008 at 2:53 am [Reply]

Nice try, Apartment 3-G. You saw the heat generated by Aldomania, and figured if death is what it takes to make the soap opera strips interesting, you’d let Alan go out with a bang. But you forgot one thing: In Mary Worth, the supposed heroine of the strip was responsible for pushing a mentally-ill man over the edge. They didn’t have some crazy bald dude named Ray scream hilariously-inappropriate remarks and shoot some guy.

Next time, take a lesson from Mary Worth, and have Margo gently convince the soon-to-be-deceased, in her oh-so-special way we have all come to know and love, to turn the gun on himself.

I just hope Lu Anne is able to come to terms with her grief. I offer up an old Norse Proverb I keep handy for such occasions: Death is clear-cut, it’s life that isn’t.
Jym
September 24th, 2008 at 4:36 am [Reply]

=189= MT: I live for this. (Pity me.)
Sheila Sternwell
September 24th, 2008 at 5:00 am [Reply]

#176 Muffaroo, excellent comment. Thanks for posting it. Through other sources I saw all the blogging about that cartoon earlier today and didn’t know the history.

So who’s taking the name Sackodog? Anyone?
Anonymous
September 24th, 2008 at 6:52 am [Reply]

A3G – A happy ending to an otherwise unremarkable story. Goodnight, sweet Alan, and A Flock Of Seagulls sing thee to thy rest.

JP – Hey, where’s Dixie Julep? She’d better not be off somewhere putting on clothes!

GT – Hey, Beavis, check it out! Huh-huh! 69. Huh-huh! Huh-huh! Sackmaster.

Seriously. Sackodog? And why is Sacko’s flesh melting?
Gojira
September 24th, 2008 at 7:01 am [Reply]

A3G:

Well, I’ll break the ice on this one (deepest apologies to Curtis Mayfield):

Alan’s Dead

Hey, hey…
Dope, dope…
Yeah, yeah…
Huh, huh…

Alan’s dead.
That’s what I said.
Let Ray in, full of jones, couldn’t send him home.
But Al said “nope got no dope” and he should’ve known.

It’s hard to understand
So much bland in this man.
I’m sure all would agree
That his misery
Was Luann and things.
Now, Alan’s dead.
That’s what I said.

(That’s as far as I got, time to go to work)
DaveG
September 24th, 2008 at 7:27 am [Reply]

Has anyone else thought that Dick Tracy is setting up a Transformers-like, giant robot face-off? Apologies if someone has and I missed it.
One-eyed Sackodog
September 24th, 2008 at 7:50 am [Reply]

Fred Basset, panel 4: [beachside, getting sucked into a tarpit] “…and into the black.”
One-eyed Wolfdog
September 24th, 2008 at 7:50 am [Reply]

No, hm, I’d have to say the name just isn’t working for me.
Brick Bradford
September 24th, 2008 at 8:08 am [Reply]

A3G Is Alan really dead or just Horatio Cane dead?
I agree with Poteet–chances for South Dakota! are looking slim.

DT If somebody decides to knock over a 7-11 with a Tiger tank RoboDick stands ready to wheel into extremely slugglish action!

MF Mallard came THAT close to being funny! Tinsley must have done that one sober.

MT Moustache! Facial hair! Bad guy. Warm up the Right Fist O’ Justice, we’ve got a hot one!
(And isn’t it sad Mark never encountered Blandthony back in his pornstache days?)
smacky
September 24th, 2008 at 8:11 am [Reply]

GT: Sackmaster is such a perfect gay porn nickname.
gleeb
September 24th, 2008 at 8:12 am [Reply]

Jump Start: The Republican party now has a mole inside the blandest Democratic family!

A&J: Arlo and Janis abuse their hard-won workers’ benefits. Woody would be proud!

9CL: Having shown some independence, Amos immediately caves, converting his spine into a mildly-sarcastic remark.

Between Friends: Best question: if you care about your readers, why don’t you just advance the story?

Edge City: Ha! She’s going to claim the court is an admiralty court because the flag has a gold fringe. Or maybe she’ll deny that Ohio ratified the 16th amendment. This would actually be good. I could enjoy a strip about a sub-moronic, tax-protesting crackpot.

Pluggers: …hoard painkillers.

Zippy: Don’t worry, Griff. I’ll never turn on you. I was never for you.
Whippersnapper
September 24th, 2008 at 8:20 am [Reply]

Today’s Foob is particularly poignant. In panel 2, Michael shows his first and last flash of self-awareness.
Jim Thorp(e)
September 24th, 2008 at 8:25 am [Reply]

Too bad DTGT was censored today.

Sackodogshit is such a great nickname.
AhClem
September 24th, 2008 at 8:26 am [Reply]

A3G has turned into one big PSA from the Drug Enforcement Agency:
“See, kids? This is what happens when you use dope. Your hair turns an odd blondish color, your shirt buttons start coming undone, you live in an apartment with tattered curtains, and then you meet your untimely end being shot by Captain Picard.“
Calico
September 24th, 2008 at 8:26 am [Reply]

#176 – Oh. Ay. Whoa.
Didn’t Schultz have a character named Jackson too? Or was his name Charles? Can’t recall.

3A – Oh my. Crack really is Wack.
If only FOOB had “ended” this way, with Liz plugging Anthony during a dinner argument.
Calico
September 24th, 2008 at 8:30 am [Reply]

#174 – Fursona – sounds like a new automobile model, but with hair or a beard.
The Spectacular Spider-Brick
September 24th, 2008 at 8:53 am [Reply]

9DQ: Mark it down in the history of comics that this was the day a Brooke McEldowney character was only a trifle arrogant.

Agnes: “You would be history if I leaked.” Funny, that’s what Robert Novak said to Valerie Plame. Who knew this strip was so political?

A3G: So if the only ones with keys to the gallery are Alan (now deceased) and Margo (not on the scene), who found the body? Are we supposed to believe that in the Margoverse, the NYPD actually respond to reports of shots fired? If that’s the case, it would be awesome if the cops gained entry to the gallery by knocking down a wall with their giant six-wheeled robot. But they probably just knocked on the door and announced they had dope.

C’Shaft: Cranky could make the new guy feel a lot more welcome if he’d just admit that’s the reaction the team usually gets from the home crowd.

Curtis: What? School started with no “endless war” strip?!

DtM: Dennis, I think you misheard her. She said you can’t pitch worth spit.

(WT)DT: So, TRAZE-R is a very versatile crime-fighting tool… except for stopping robberies. Nope, he can’t do that. He’s designed for BIG jobs. Freshen your coffee?

GA: So, in other words, Rover re-invented the fuel injector. Brilliant. Can we switch to something that makes more sense? Like someone tunneling under a street to break into a bar, or a couple of hobos making a cat-food commercial, or someone dropping a meteor on some darkies?

thorps. Looks like Ponczak brought him down with a left uppercut. Is that allowed in football? And whose hand is on his shoulder in panel 3, Spider-Man? The Mummy? TRAZE-R? “JF PONCZK! TH SAKMSTR!”

H&L: A newspaper turning brown in the sun is a process that takes weeks or months. Either somebody saved that paper for a reason and is going to be very disappointed when it crumbles at their touch, or nobody ever cleans in this place, and someday Ditto will be crushed to death under a pile of old newspapers while bringing food to his blind and paralyzed older brother. (Also: Coloring monkey fail.)

Lockhorns: Then, the punching began.

MT: There oughta be some kinda place where you could go look up stuff like what people are going to do with their land! Someplace where they would have to go to get, I don’t know, permission to do things like build stuff and drain wetlands! Some kind of, I don’t know, Hall… maybe in the City!
Old School Allie Cat
September 24th, 2008 at 8:56 am [Reply]

A3G – So, can we assume that Alan was not shot in the face, then? If Margo can identify him, he’d have to be pretty much intact.

I hope Haley goes to the funeral and she and LuAnn get into a catfight.

Which, based on the pacing of things, should happen around what, Halloween? Election Day?
Mel
September 24th, 2008 at 9:03 am [Reply]

A3G: Alan is not dead.

The cops downtown want to know just like the rest of us — once and for all — is this one Alan or Eric? They are going to taser him and then let Margo search his body for distinguishing marks. After that they can tag him and release him back into the mild.
Hibbleton
September 24th, 2008 at 9:12 am [Reply]

Why did it take me so long to figure out the joke in today’s “Six Chix?” Why did I bother?
Hogenmogen
September 24th, 2008 at 9:13 am [Reply]

DT: “He’s designed for big jobs.”
Like what, getting coffee? And, by the way, Chief still doesn’t have any, proving that Mr. Roboto is incompetent at the most basic level. Maybe he can still function as a paperweight. Does anyone still use those anymore?

“I’ve got something big to show you.”
Other than your massive skull which dwarfs the stone heads on Easter Island? What, do you have a boner to match? Your lackey chick friend dressed in a sweat suit seems interested in finding out.
Straw
September 24th, 2008 at 9:17 am [Reply]

“…it’s like God is playin’ with His dimmer switch.”

Yes…yes He is, Billy.
Straw
September 24th, 2008 at 9:19 am [Reply]

#209: I got the joke fairly quickly, but found myself stuck on wondering what step one is supposed to be.

Did anyone else think Garfield was funny? I felt like I should think it’s stupid, but I chuckled anyway.
Hogenmogen
September 24th, 2008 at 9:19 am [Reply]

MT: Finally, somebody with facial hair to punch!
Tweeks_Coffee
September 24th, 2008 at 9:30 am [Reply]

#212 – Straw: That was RwO that you’re thinking of, not 6 Chix. Though I’m with you on both your comments.

A3G: Huh, I certainly didn’t expect them to actually off Alan. Tommie’s nearly got her pose from Munch’s The Scream down pat.
GT: How did Ponczak bring that guy down, exactly? Because he looks to be in a stabbing pose there. What’s wrong with that hand in the last panel anyway?
MT: In what world does a freelance writer who’s published in an obscure nature magazine pose a threat? I, for one, am thrilled with the prospect of weeks of Mark working his way through various bureaucracies and miles of red tape to get to the bottom of this. Say, didn’t that one chick drain the wetlands at the airport to get rid of birds?
S-M: Christ, how does JJJ’s rag even pass for a real newspaper anymore? The only headlines I’ve seen have been wild speculation based off casual observations.
The Spectacular Spider-Brick
September 24th, 2008 at 9:31 am [Reply]

A3G: Does this mean we get to see an A3G-RMMD crossover? “Andrew Count Morgu, this is Margo McGee. Margo, Morgu. Morgu, Margo.” Maybe bats :[ can make it happen.
Mel
September 24th, 2008 at 9:31 am [Reply]

Alas, poor Alan! I knew him, Eric, or are you Gary? A fellow of infinite hair color, of most excellent frayed curtains. He hath bore a monkey on his back a thousand times, and how how confused in my imagination it is! My glurge rises at it.
Hogenmogen
September 24th, 2008 at 9:31 am [Reply]

FC: When you look at the clouds from a God’s eye perspective, you’d just see the clouds moving over the surface of the Earth. Billy internalizes everything and throws in bizarre theological explanations, such as God creating weather conditions for the benefit or burden of a given individual. I imagine as he grows up, he will become a leader of a fanatic cult that believes thunder to be God playing drums, mangling the words to The Lord’s Prayer is cute and those hookers they found Billy with were just God providing an opportunity to save their souls. Billy says “Drink the Kool-Aid, drink it!”
Hogenmogen
September 24th, 2008 at 9:37 am [Reply]

Yes, Spiderman has been “looting the city”. The entire wealth of NY can be contained in a single briefcase guarded by two lightly armed, easily surprised rent-a-cops.

Really, if Spidey wanted to go looting, he would have secured a position in one of the Wall St. investment banks.

Sorry, financial/political commentary – but I couldn’t resist.
Hogenmogen
September 24th, 2008 at 9:43 am [Reply]

Although I still maintain my prediction that it was Eric that was shot, let us entertain the notion that it was Alan.

Moy & Giella are trying to convey the long, slow decline of Alan The Druggie (did he even have a last name?), culminating in a terrible, tragic death, like our beloved Aldo. Let me tell you, we read Aldo. We followed Aldo. We loved Aldo like a drunken cousin. We wrote songs about Aldo. The Aldo phenomenon had a name and a t-shirt. Alan The Druggie, you sir, are NO ALDO KELRAST.
John C Fremont
September 24th, 2008 at 9:44 am [Reply]

# 193 – Hey, what happened to my cookies? I am NOT Anonymous, I am a free man! *

*Cue the Leo McKern (my favorite Number Two)laughter.
Angry Kem
September 24th, 2008 at 9:48 am [Reply]

#204 Calico: The token black character in Peanuts was named Franklin.

A3G is so fun today that I just had to medievalise it.

9CL: The lack of backgrounds is really beginning to disconcert me. The occasional lack of a background wouldn’t be a big deal, but for the last several strips, these people have been floating in formless white space. Earlier, they were all carrying bags and looked as if they might have been shopping. Now, Amos has a cello. Watching him vanish into the meaningless white distance almost gives me vertigo. Which way is up? Which way is up?

PBS has reached new heights of cruelty today…and GF is actually funny. Hallelujah.
Hogenmogen
September 24th, 2008 at 9:49 am [Reply]

Willpower like that deserves a reward! Unless this strip is turning into an even more depressing version of Cathy and her perrenial diet failures, I recommend going for the booze. Or dope. Whatever.
CanuckDownSouth
September 24th, 2008 at 10:03 am [Reply]

I call Ray as the dead body in A3G. It would be far too quick and merciful on the readers to wrap up the [SP] drugs are baaad [/southpark] storyline now.

Plus Ray was diving while shooting – I say Ray tripped, didn’t hit anything sent the gun flying, and Alan got it – or even better, a second shot was fired when it hit the floor, killing Ray. This would satisfy the A3G inertial law: even when it looks like something interesting happened, nothing happened at all.
Hogenmogen
September 24th, 2008 at 10:05 am [Reply]

Phantom: I thought that Chatu was capturing the bats and was going to train them to do his bidding or some similar nonsense (which would actually be a step UP from your average Spiderman plot). But he’s killing them for bat blood? What is up with this guy?

And speaking of the web-slinger, I can’t make up my mind why I keep reading it – even eagerly anticipating it. Lord knows it’s not for the brilliance of the plot, but far more likely it is to satiate my curiosity as to how stupidly Peter Parker and friends can stretch or convolute a story line. Is it schadenfreude or masochism? I can’t figure it out.
Gabacho
September 24th, 2008 at 10:16 am [Reply]

Apt 3G – Tommi’s look is sheer jealousy. Check it out. She’s clearly thinking “How come nothing interesting ever happens to me?”

Sally Forth – I’m not heterosexual so I don’t have any direct way of knowing. But watching Ted’s relationships, I wonder if all straight men find condescension and sarcasm sexy? And for that matter, why would the only woman with good hair be going after Ted?

You straight people are a mysterious lot.
Artist formerly known as Ben
September 24th, 2008 at 10:18 am [Reply]

9/24

MW: Drama queens have been around for a long time too, and the internet has made things equally easy for them. With Toby acting like she lost a patient on the operating table, I kind of dread seeing her blog.

MT: So the current villain seems to be an alternate universe version of Mark himself. This is worrisome. Can Mark punch his duplicate without time and space destroying themselves?

S-M: Well if a front page editorial by an editor with a long-standing bias doesn’t convince Maria, nothing will.

Cathy: If you can’t afford to buy anything, why should the saleslady waste her time talking to you?

SSmith: “Naw. What really happened is my ma got what the city folk call a ’strainin’ order.”

A3G: Tommie can’t help it. Whenever she hears terrible news, she’s just got to do the Watusi.

S4th: “And then the little white squares turn into space invaders and I’m all KAPOW KAPOW and they’re all, ‘Oh no, Forth got us good’ and I dance around going ‘No time for losers, Ted is the champion.’ That doesn’t make me a spaz, does it?”

FW: Can you handle the excitement of seeing Funky not lose weight? I’m not sure I can.

Blondie: “What am I wearing? Young man, I’m not sure I’m comfortable with where this is going.”

OBH: “Same thing I do every day, grandpa. Try to take over the world.”

GT: “Sackmaster”? Geez, you have your nuts hanging out in one team picture and they never let you forget it.

FC: Between the “in and out” and the “playin’ with”, Billy is standing at the edge of some pretty serious blasphemy.

DtM: Next panel, Joey says, “Don’t worry, Big D. You’re still the best pitcher this catcher has ever had.”
One-eyed Wolfdog
September 24th, 2008 at 10:19 am [Reply]

#223 – A3G Mechanics 101: For every suggestion of action about to occur there is an equal and opposite failure of action to, in fact, occur.
Hogenmogen
September 24th, 2008 at 10:20 am [Reply]

Ponczak should do a product endorsement for Clearasil Acne Cream.
Darkefang
September 24th, 2008 at 10:24 am [Reply]

A3G: This may be the first time in Apartment 3-G history that a head-bobble is justified.

GT: With his jaw agape and eyes rolling into the back of his head, I’m pretty sure the sack everyone’s referring to isn’t Jeff’s tackling of the opponent’s quarterback. Instead, he’s mastering an entirely different kind of sack. In public. In front of a cheering audience. With his friends egging him on.

H&J: Herb & Jamal gay joke variation #3,592 -
Herb sure admires that guy’s nuts.

MT: And today is revealed the mustachioed face upon which Mark is going to unload the frustrations of the environment.
Hogenmogen
September 24th, 2008 at 10:27 am [Reply]

“My mom won’t let me spit.”
Dennis, not spitting when your parents are nowhere in sight, in a venue in which spitting is not only acceptable, but a tactical advantage is about as far from menacing as Spiderman is from crime fighting.
Mooncattie
September 24th, 2008 at 10:27 am [Reply]

A3G – Oh Tommie!! Are those Jazz Hands? Ted Forth Hands? Munch’s The Scream Hands? Go, Tommie, Go!
CanuckDownSouth
September 24th, 2008 at 10:29 am [Reply]

@227 Yes! Thank-you One-Eyed Wolfdog! I knew there was a law of A3G mechanics that would be violated by Alan being shot to death, but didn’t know how to phrase it well.
Artist formerly known as Ben
September 24th, 2008 at 10:34 am [Reply]

#219 Hogenmogen,
Is it your theory that the creators of Mary Worth have secretly taken over A3G? Because that would be truly diabolical.
Hogenmogen
September 24th, 2008 at 10:37 am [Reply]

Credit to where it is due, GT did a pretty good job depicting that play. They missed the obvious pun Pon-sack, but what the hell. We got to see a 6′9″ behemoth on steroids towering over his vanquished opponent. If this game were played in the Roman Colleseum, Jeff would be spearing the Bryan QB through the throat to the cheers of thousands of bloodthirsty spectators. Also note that for two days now GT has focused on one continuous story line, which is almost unheard of in the land of Thorp.
Skullturf Q. Beavispants
September 24th, 2008 at 10:38 am [Reply]

Wizard of Id:

“So what’s the latest gossip?”

“‘Contrived Setup’ the clown is getting a divorce and changing his name”

“To what?”

“‘Weak Punchline’”
J to the izoe
September 24th, 2008 at 10:43 am [Reply]

I didn’t know how else to tell you, and you may have already seen it, but I had to show you this classic Dennis the Menace.
http://i4.photobucket.com/albums/y107/blahthequah/DENNIS.jpg

That’s one strip that probably WON’T be reused anytime soon!
smacky
September 24th, 2008 at 10:45 am [Reply]

#221: Angry Kem said

9CL: The lack of backgrounds is really beginning to disconcert me. The occasional lack of a background wouldn’t be a big deal, but for the last several strips, these people have been floating in formless white space. Earlier, they were all carrying bags and looked as if they might have been shopping. Now, Amos has a cello. Watching him vanish into the meaningless white distance almost gives me vertigo. Which way is up? Which way is up?

I keep looking in the background for Lisa and the Phantom of the Opera to dance by. Apparently there was a gas leak and the entire cast of 9CL is dead but don’t know it yet!
Hogenmogen
September 24th, 2008 at 10:46 am [Reply]

Least comprehensible comic of the day:

May I present to you…
Drum roll please…

Crock!

What the… ?
AGJLU 2000
September 24th, 2008 at 10:51 am [Reply]

This just in from the AGJLU 3000.

Hear me roar!

Sorry that you need an outside player for this. My Internets skills are not on par with the 3000 unit’s.
Hogenmogen
September 24th, 2008 at 10:54 am [Reply]

Margo: I have to identify Alan’s body.
Tommie: Oh my god! My boyfriend!
Margo: No, he wasn’t your boyfriend.
Tommie: I mean, your boyfriend!
Margo: No, he wasn’t my boyfriend.
Tommie: Is Alan that guy from Tibet?
Margo: Tommie, shut the fuck up. You don’t know Jack.
Tommie: I do so, he’s been screwing Luann for 3 months.
One-eyed Wolfdog
September 24th, 2008 at 10:54 am [Reply]

“`Droopy the Clown’ is getting a divorce.”
“Is he changing his name?”
“Yeah, actually that is his new name.”
Poteet
September 24th, 2008 at 11:02 am [Reply]

# 203 AhClem — You owe me a keyboard.
True Fable
September 24th, 2008 at 11:02 am [Reply]

A3G You know, I haven’t seen a good head bobble out of Tommie in quite a while. Of course, Margo should be pretty used to identifying bodies by now, as much carnage as she has ever created.
Archie Frankly I’m surprised the ALGCU3000 didn’t assume what a Bluetooth was and automatically blacken out one of Veronica’s pearlie whites. It’s about what I’d expect.
Cathy Must Die It ought to be pretty interesting to see how spendthrift Cathy handles the ongoing financial crisis. I didn’t say pleasant. Nothing about Cathy is pleasant. Merely… interesting. Mildly.
DtM Which position do you play if you continually suck ass, Dennis?
Canadian Zombie That’s right, Michael. Nobody likes you. Everybody hates you. Time to dine on worms.
WTFGT Gee, just what I’ve been waiting for: Sack comments in Gil Thorp! Tomorrow: Teabags!
H&J Now he’s eyeing the peanut man’s curves! This guy is insatiable.
Scenes from Suburban Hell People also are known to grow more than three tufts of hair on the head too, kid, but then this is hell and that’s about what can be expected.
MT Trouble? Oh, you don’t know trouble, mister; not until you get your moustache punched off by that odious outdoor writer who’s got you all trembling in your hairy boots!
RMMW ManWhore’s spend more time with Waddle’n'Gray than he has with June Bustin’OutAllOver recently. Guess he’s getting an idea of what to expect once June gets good and impatient with his old ass in the future.
Hogenmogen
September 24th, 2008 at 11:12 am [Reply]

MT: What’s up with all these mustachioed evildoers in the board room? First, very few executives these days have facial hair. Second, I think what will stop a nature reporter is a pre-emptive press conference that touts the benefits of draining that mosquito breeding ground of a swamp and creates a livable community with jobs in its wake. Donate a token sum to a nature conservancy and you’re done. Trail has been scooped. Invite a brigade of the Mark Trail Fist O’ Justice recipients and thoroughly discredit him with assault charges.
Poteet
September 24th, 2008 at 11:21 am [Reply]

# 221 Angry Kem — Your commentary on today’s A3G may be your funniest yet. I really must remember not to visit your site when I’m eating a snack.
Poteet
September 24th, 2008 at 11:34 am [Reply]

# 244 Hogenmogen — For me, now that I think about it, the question is why Mark traveled south in the first place. In the real world, his end of the conversation with Pops might have gone more like this:

“Yep, good to hear from you, Pops. You should call your state wetland agency, might be your DEQ, or call the regional Corps office and ask if the developers got a 404 and if so, what the details and mitigation requirements are. If you find out they don’t have a 404, ask for an investigation. Sorry I can’t get down there to help you, but I just got home from rescuing that idiot Kelly Welly and I’m about to screw my wife.”
Poteet
September 24th, 2008 at 11:36 am [Reply]

# 244 Hogenmogen — And yeah, I see a lot more facial hair on field biologists than I do on developers.
spike
September 24th, 2008 at 11:40 am [Reply]

# 221 Angry Kem: I agree with Poteet. BTW, the translation for telephone was spot-on IMHO.
commodorejohn
September 24th, 2008 at 11:43 am [Reply]

A3G – Oh man, that is an epic head-bobble from Tommie. With hands on the cheeks and everything!

Archie – The Archie Laugh-Generating Joke Unit 3000 has discovered Chobits.

A.D. – Huh, I wasn’t actually expecting this to go into a full-fledged storyline.

BS – Yum, a bowl of water and a pat of butter! Just what anyone could want after a long day of dehydration and heat exhaustion!

FC – “Playin’ with His dimmer switch?” Is Billy accusing God of masturbating?

FW – “One very very last cookie!”

GA – So this is going to usher in a classic-car renaissance. Evil Sneaky Arab Man is still going to make quadrillions off it, except that that would involve him escaping his Cartoon Villain Comeuppance. This whole storyline has made negative sense.

GT – “Hey, babe, why don’t you let the sackmaster show ya a thing or two? Rowr.”

HTH – Wow, a Walker-Browne strip that was semi-obscure and not at all recycled or predictable. Color me impressed.

MF – Um, so Hillary Clinton wasn’t going to run in 2012 but was inspired to by WHAT THE HELL THIS MAKES EVEN LESS SENSE THAN USUAL

MT – I’m not sure what I love more here, the sad-faced raccoons in panel one, or the fact that the villains already know about Mark’s arrival and are plotting to deal with him like Boris Badenov coming up with a new plan for taking care of “moose and squirrel.”

Popeye – You know, I tried to ignore the “mother” thing as a cartoon cliche (after all, Sylvester the cat did the same thing back in 1947,) but damn, they just keep repeating it over and over, and I’m losing my resolve against taking the low road here…

SFx – Is that a young Philip J. Fry?

Edison Lee – The Edison Lee formula:

1. Take a potentially amusing concept.
2. Completely fail to elaborate on any of the entertaining aspects.
3. Link it to a brief rant on your political views via a horrendously awkward and unfunny segue.
Old School Allie Cat
September 24th, 2008 at 11:55 am [Reply]

#249 – commodorejohn – I think Tommie’s expression is best described as “Oh NO you di’int!”

I like the new “sassy” Tommie.
boojum
September 24th, 2008 at 12:09 pm [Reply]

223 CanuckDownSouth:

This is what I’ve been saying about A3G. It can’t be Alan who’s dead, because then something would have happened. The universe is fickle, but not THAT fickle.

But since the police seem to think the body is Alan’s, did he switch wallets with Ray after the accidental suicide? Perhaps he will now shave his head and assume Ray’s slightly-less-bland identity, since that was the only way we could tell them apart. (Don’t pin your hopes on DNA evidence; in A3G, all males have 20 out of 20 DNA markers in common).

MT — I’ve seen this bad guy before. I call Mark’s friend Frenchy McStereotype, with a twice-a-day haircut regimen.
Calico
September 24th, 2008 at 12:40 pm [Reply]

#221 – Thanks! My memory cells were on the fritz for a moment there.

And Hogen, Alan’s last name was Lange.
Muffaroo-who-walks
September 24th, 2008 at 12:43 pm [Reply]

Toronto @181 – He may have told it different ways at different times. This was what I recall from when it happened. Looking at his fairly unsentimental book, he says that the franc’s gains against the dollar were diluting his income, and when he had to pay five bucks for a jar of peanut butter, it was time to go back to the US.

Poteet @186 – Yes, Ketcham had assistance in the writing AND drawing departments. Someone else drew the comic books, and other hands dealt with the Sunday page, even when he was around. He mentions having other writers as early as the 1950s. Reading the book, you find that Ketcham was mostly interested in the comic as a business. The real Dennis had learning disabilities. Ketcham spends more time talking about a pond he had put in at his rancher than about the ultimate fate of his son (who was basically packed off somewhere and more or less ignored — he vanishes from the text forever on page 148) or of the real Alice, who left him late in 1959 and succumbed to alcoholism and barbiturate use at the age of 40. Only by reading the index did I verify that this meant she had died. He has a word or two of reproach for himself, leavened by his “good intentions.”

Spider-Brick @206 – Oh, man, a Homer and Langley Collyer reference! You just made my day. (Great A3G last line, too.)

Mel @208 – “…back into the mild.” Gold Star for that! Good Fakespeare at 216, too.

Tweeks_Coffee @214 – Perhaps the Bugle is a money loser, funded by a large organization. Something like the Moonies and the Washington Times, except whoever it is really hates Spider-Man and doesn’t mind seeing Jonah throw away the headline every day. “We invaded who? Jesus Christ! Well, let the Planet cover that, and we’ll go for another rhetorical question about Spider-Man. How does IS THE WEB SLINGER REALLY A TRANNY? sound to you?”

Gabacho @225 – Hey, you can’t lump all us straight people together like that! We’re not all like Ted Forth. We’re not! Many of us are sane, and some even have lives.

Mooncattie @231 – You forgot Home Alone hands.

J to the izoe @236 – That’s the strip (mentioned at 158) that prompted my long comment last night (at 176).

commodorejohn @249 – No, the logic is there, if you know the talking points. See, she’s hoping her side will lose so she can run in 2012. And that’s funny because if so, it validates Tinsley’s world view!
Muffaroo-who-walks
September 24th, 2008 at 12:46 pm [Reply]

A3G – “The police want me to go downtown and… and identify Alan’s body.”\ “Well, it could be him. Can you put some hair on his head? Alan always had hair.”

I’m thinking what Lu Anne saw that knocked her for such a loop was the one good painting he’d ever done. What could prepare her for that? Or maybe she said “gasp!” because Alan was experimenting with a neo-Lichtenstein thing and had just painted the word “GASP!” on the canvas.

DTraze-E – From the look on Tricky Dicknose’s face in the last panel, the gang would be really, really dumb to follow him and see the “something BIG” he wants to show them. Or, to be fair, maybe they just really want to see “it.”

FCircus – “The sun’s goin’ in and out of the clouds so much…” “…I feel like I’m watchin’ some kinda cosmic porno movie.”

GThorp – Sacko? He looks more like Psycho in the last panel. What’s that, Mom? I should kill that gigantic bird that’s trying to land on my shoulder?

H&Lois – The newspaper sitting in the sun is turning brown? How many days or weeks has it been sitting there? Does Lois remove newer clutter and clean around the old items so they’ll attain that desirable patina of age?
gh
September 24th, 2008 at 12:49 pm [Reply]

FC —

Welcome back to Jeff ‘n’ Billy Theatre. Today’s episode: Dim and Dimmer.
Mibbitmaker
September 24th, 2008 at 12:59 pm [Reply]

GT: “Nice sack, man!” — from “Untamed World” on Ren & Stimpy

Lochhorns: “BANG, ZOOM! Verrry Funny. Harrrrrrr-de-harrr-harrrrrrrr! To the moon, ~~Alice!~~ Loretta!”

A3G: They killed Alan! Those bastards!

S-M: Sad thing is, that could pass for a tabloid paper in real life. If real life had superheroes in it.

Monty(not the one in The Phantom): I wonder if this week’s Monty will be the Coolest Strip in the World on this week’s “Underground Garage”? …If it weren’t a radio show, that is.

(Everyone knew her as) Nancy: Behold — Diet Smith’s next invention!
Biiirdmaaan!
September 24th, 2008 at 1:05 pm [Reply]

I know in the universe of Garfield, highly anthropomorphized animals are, if not the norm, at least not uncommon. Still, I can’t shake the feeling that Whiskers232 is not another hyper-intelligent cat like Garfield, but rather a furry fetishist to whom this exchange is as close as he or she can legally get to exploring their ultimate sexual fantasy.

It would, at the very least, explain why they type in cat vocalizations when we all know damn well cats who can type on keyboards have a strong command of human language.
tom
September 24th, 2008 at 1:10 pm [Reply]

9/23 and today 9/24 I thing that TJ is going to follow the “great” Clay Aiken out of the closet. Is Luann ready for a gay character? Is is job that of a call boy? Will Brad ever do it with Toni, or is he destined to be and old man still living at home with Luann of course.
Mibbitmaker
September 24th, 2008 at 1:13 pm [Reply]

H&L: How old is that newspaper browning in the sun? Hint: For Better or For Worse and Funky Winkerbean were both really good in it!
Gold-Digging Nanny
September 24th, 2008 at 1:20 pm [Reply]

9/23 and 9/24 DT: “A robbery at a Seven-Heaven convenience store just in.”
“Should we try Traze-R?”
“No, he’s designed for big jobs…. Dammit, Traze-R, how long’s it take to get a cup of coffee around here?”
“Crm or Sugr, Trcy?”
Deena in OR
September 24th, 2008 at 1:43 pm [Reply]

258 tom-And, in a related thought, wasn’t there a Luann story arc a while back where Luann had a crush on, and met, Clay?

Speaking of which, both Clay and Lindsay jumped the gun the other day. Nattional Coming Out Day isn’t until October 11th.
Deena in OR
September 24th, 2008 at 1:44 pm [Reply]

uuhhh…that would be National. I saw the spelling error just as I hit “post.” Ugh.
Steve the Pocket
September 24th, 2008 at 1:51 pm [Reply]

commodorejohn @249: No, no, see, the Sultan was buying off the patent rights to Rover’s gas-saver so it would NOT be made, and he (the Sultan) wouldn’t lose money on oil sales.

That said, this is an excellent payoff, better than anything I could have ever expected. The world isn’t deprived of a useful fuel efficiency breakthrough, and Rover still gets filthy rich off a greedy oil mogul. Everybody wins! Even the Sultan will go to his grave thinking he made a good deal because he never planned to make the gas-saver anyway and probably tore up the plans as soon as he got back in his chopper.

Jim Scancarelli, if you’re reading this… WELL PLAYED, SIR.
Left of the Pyle
September 24th, 2008 at 2:02 pm [Reply]

Middle Englishe Comics today takes on the death of drug middle man Alan (boyfriend of middle — in terms of level of interest to me — A3G tenant Lu Ann).

http://middleenglishcomics.blogspot.com/2008/09/drugs-are-bad-etc-etc-etc.html
Marion Delgado
September 24th, 2008 at 2:15 pm [Reply]

Now that Alan is drinking with Aldo, Lu Ann can finally get together with Mr. Right, her kissing cousin Blaze. And by kissing cousin, I mean cousin you’re kissing at the moment. And if you have issues with that, well, it was good enough for Lu Ann’s parents!
bats :[
September 24th, 2008 at 4:08 pm [Reply]

264. Left of the Pyle: oh, you sillye persone! That’s our own Angry Kem’s website. Angry Kem, I think you’ve arrived!
Lucky
September 24th, 2008 at 4:37 pm [Reply]

I feel inclined to say that no self-respecting furry would call himself Fuzzy Wuzzy.
Down with OPP!
September 25th, 2008 at 2:00 pm [Reply]

“Doctor I have another patient for you … all of its orifices are no longer functioning and my torrid lovemaking has detached its head. Please help!”
Jim
September 25th, 2008 at 11:26 pm [Reply]

The most disturbing thing in today’s Slylock Fox is definitely that doctor’s stethoscope. Difference number 1: In the first panel the nurse, outraged (and perhaps a little jealous) at the molestation of a patient calls the police and the elderly doctor spends his last few years in prison. In panel two she turns a blind eye, and the little tyke spends the rest of his life mutilating stuffed animals in a desperate attempt to deal with his rage. Also, in panel two, that glass is full of gin.

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