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No no no no no it’s looking at me noooooo

Gasoline Alley, 5/24/13

If I were a better person/student of the great history of the comics medium, I suppose I’d be more interested in the Slim and Walt go to the Comics Retirement Home storyline? As it is, I can only work up the energy to care about it when something truly unusual happens, like when a dapper, nightmarish pig-man wanders into the foreground of the panel, giving you a sly look that you’ll see every night for the next three to eight weeks as you desperately try to fall asleep.

Dennis the Menace, 5/24/13

“When I was a kid, we pretended we lived in violent, lawless frontier towns, where the only respite from attempting to murder each other over cattle or women came when we had to battle the last desperate remnants of the region’s indigenous population, who we were working to displace or exterminate. Now all kids care about is exploring fantastic new worlds and adding to our culture’s scientific knowledge and whatnot. It’s fucking bullshit.”

Six Chix, 5/24/13

It sure is ironic that looking to buy for something to rest on can itself be tiring, amiright? In related news, don’t ever lie down on sample beds in furniture stores, the people shopping for beds are drenched in sweat, gross gross gross

Herb and Jamaal, 5/24/13

“Uh-oh, I’d better make sure 9-1-1 is on speed dial, because it looks like Herb is finally going to put his money where his mouth is on that whole chainsaw murder spree thing he’s been talking about for months!”

192 responses to “No no no no no it’s looking at me noooooo”

  1. Huckleberry Fink
    May 24th, 2013 at 7:28 am [Reply]

    Family Circus: Dolly is just begging Thel to smother her with that pillow.

    Love is… a Silver Linings Playbook. (With Jennifer Lawrence as Li’l Naked Girl!)

    Arlo & Janis: The Paul Robinson comic strip “Etta Kett” ended in 1974 (after Robinson’s death), so Arlo must be in his 40s or 50s.

  2. Huckleberry Fink
    May 24th, 2013 at 7:35 am [Reply]

    It’s Michigan J. Frog’s porcine cousin… Pennsylvania T. Pig!

  3. Huckleberry Fink
    May 24th, 2013 at 7:38 am [Reply]

    @Banjo the Woodpile Cat (#239): Moose Miller — Shame on you, Bob Weber Sr. Your Blatant Cat Brutality is an affront to my eyes…

    Did you miss the punchline (literally)? Chester Crabtree is about to get coldcocked by Moose Miller’s cat.

  4. KreatureFeatures
    May 24th, 2013 at 7:38 am [Reply]

    Mark Trail: You say “nudge,” I say “tears off an arm.”

  5. teenchy
    May 24th, 2013 at 7:38 am [Reply]

    Those of us who live or have lived in parts of the country with Piggly Wiggly stores are unfazed by GA’s fourth-wall-breaking pig.

  6. Pozzo
    May 24th, 2013 at 7:39 am [Reply]

    How lazy do you have to be to put a three-digit extension on speed dial? That’s like using the “at” symbol (@) to save yourself a whole letter.

  7. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    May 24th, 2013 at 7:39 am [Reply]

    Frazz: SOUTH DETROIT!!

    Dilbert: I’ve worked with this man, although he was older, and a different color.

    Lio: *snurk*

    PBS: *golf clap*

    MG&G: there are no editors. that’s a freakin’ COCAINE tinged buttsniffing joke. Also, the overused “all poodles are girls” and “all girls wear hearbows” tropes.

    SF: G-FORCE!!!

    Retail. I stopped shopping at JC Penny’s several decades ago, when that trick didn’t work.

  8. Drewbear
    May 24th, 2013 at 7:39 am [Reply]

    Gasoline Alley Aaaaand now I’m going to have nightmares of that thing standing by my bedside while I sleep, whispering “I looooove yoooou…” over and over. Meanwhile, that pig-head-thing is going to be interviewing to be the mascot for a barbecue joint.

    DtM Don’t worry, Mr. Wilson. They may be imagining themselves on the moons of Saturn, but there’s still plenty of aliens to fight. In related news, Margaret will be found later tonight with a fist-sized hole charred through her abdomen, as if by some strange, advanced technology.

    Six Chix I don’t think she arrived sweaty, if you know what I mean. “Testing out” mattresses can be an exhaustive process. Especially if you’re asking the salepeople for “help”.

    H&JNon-funny comment: I used to work at an urgent-care center (for those of you who don’t know what those are, think something like a cross between a private physician’s office and an emergency room). One day we had a man brought in by his wife, who’d been up in a tree cutting down dead branches with a chainsaw. One of them cracked before he was ready, and he fell, accidentally getting himself tangled in the power cord, strangling himself. If his wife and teenage daughter hadn’t driven up right when this happened (they witnessed it), he would’ve died by accidental hanging. So yeah, this particular strip isn’t “funny” per se, so much as “dear god yes, keep that phone handy, just in case.”

  9. jim, some guy in iowa
    May 24th, 2013 at 7:42 am [Reply]

    9cl – visually funny today

    mt – now that takes steady nerves – or a dead faint

    rex, md – o fercrissakes milton, be a grown up and tell your wife what’s going on

    judge t n’ $ – where *is* the judge? he has the interesting plotline

    sally forth – it is weird, after all the years of him being a goof, to see ted taken even slightly seriously. also weird to see *ralph* taking someone seriously. kinda makes things interesting though

  10. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    May 24th, 2013 at 7:42 am [Reply]

    Love Is. . . well, there is that floating hearts thing I wanted a week back for a ‘cherry blossom’ visual.

    also, FRAKK! “hairbows”

  11. Chareth Cutestory
    May 24th, 2013 at 7:46 am [Reply]

    Gasoline Alley: Hmm, a pig-man at a fancy bow tie event can only mean one thing: the multiverses of Gasoline Alley and The Shining have started to bleed into one another and this strip is going to get mind-bendingly awesome in the next few weeks!

    I should know, sir. I’ve always been here.

  12. Odie Odo
    May 24th, 2013 at 7:48 am [Reply]

  13. Holly Folly
    May 24th, 2013 at 7:51 am [Reply]

    Don’t worry if it’s anything like my chainsaw, he’ll never get the darn thing started.

  14. Liam
    May 24th, 2013 at 7:52 am [Reply]

    A3G-Marty, you don’t look like a bitter middle aged woman anymore those art lessons the artist has been taking seem to be paying off.

    Spiderman-Why was it already sunk? Is it still being used as a prison in Spiderman’s world.

    Gasoline Alley-That’s probably the only ‘pearl’ he’s ever choked on if you know what I mean.

    Gasoline Alley 2-The only explanation for the pig is that they turned “Animal Farm” into a comic strip.

    MT-I don’t think that a real bear would try to attack a person during a forest fire but would be more concerned about not burning to death.

    MW-I have to plan the death of someone.

    RMMD-”That’s strange. Jim always has breakfast at home.”

  15. Kibo
    May 24th, 2013 at 7:53 am [Reply]

    Dennis is stuck in the ’60s. A modern kid wouldn’t pretend to be an astronaut exploring a distant planet. He’d pretend to be a space marine pwning n00bz, gibbing everyone on a distant planet that has all the DLC map packs installed.

    (Little Billy knows all about hyperviolent space marines, and yet I bet Dennis hasn’t played any video games or tabletop wargames more violent than “Pong” and “Candyland”. So in the war between Little Billy and Dennis, my money’s on Billy no-scoping Dennis.)

  16. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    May 24th, 2013 at 8:00 am [Reply]

  17. Lorne
    May 24th, 2013 at 8:00 am [Reply]

    The shrewd Pig-Man in Gasoline Alley is clearly Senator Mike Duffy.

    This has been “Jokes for Canadians”! Sorry Americans and everyone else, but Canadians are howling over that one. Maybe do a Google Image Search on “Senator Mike Duffy”. If that doesn’t work, maybe try the gag again with “Mayor Tom Ford”. That one fits almost as well. This has been “Jokes for Canadians Put in Context For Americans”, a public service of the Victoria/Memorial Friday Foundation.

  18. Charles Solution
    May 24th, 2013 at 8:02 am [Reply]

    Isn’t, um, 911, kind of, you know, automatically… whatever.

    Also, I’m going to assume that Dapper Nightmarish Pig is actually the 1% owner of Piggly-Wiggly, and not the name of a Lethal Flaming Wheel cover band.

  19. Marc
    May 24th, 2013 at 8:06 am [Reply]

    9CL- If anybody deserves to leave a frozen blue corpse due to their own stupidity, it’s these people.

    A3G- So what is the over/under on number days before “Cole’s” hair color and appearance changes?

    Funky- I’m having a difficult time figuring out why Darin is shaking violently with rage. Unless that’s just the cancer stretching his face out even longer.

    Luann- So a shitty van was all the independently wealthy TJ could afford?

    Mark Trail- My favorite part about this is how Mark and Wes are in absolutely no hurry to get to shore and help out. They’re just paddling along nice and leisurely.

    Mary Worth- And the game is afoot.

  20. revenge4Aldo
    May 24th, 2013 at 8:06 am [Reply]

    MW: “I.BET.TOM.IS.A.GENEROUS.LOVER!”

  21. terrapin
    May 24th, 2013 at 8:06 am [Reply]

    Love is… Cthulhu raining down on you with fresh, succulent hearts after the sacrifice.

  22. briannixon@verizon.net
    May 24th, 2013 at 8:07 am [Reply]

    Hey, Josh, four legs good, two legs better, comrade.

  23. jim, some guy in iowa
    May 24th, 2013 at 8:07 am [Reply]

    mary worth – visually funny, too. possibly because i see satchel pooch as marie and bucky katt as elinor

  24. endless sky
    May 24th, 2013 at 8:07 am [Reply]

    MW: With the different camera angle, we see that Marie IS wearing a bathrobe, as we suspected. Too bad the fuzzy slippers didn’t get into the shot.

  25. WLP
    May 24th, 2013 at 8:07 am [Reply]

    Yes, put 911 on speed dial since it will take so long to dial normally. Especially since they’ve changed it to 0118-999-881-991-119-725 . . . . 3.

  26. Droopy Says
    May 24th, 2013 at 8:08 am [Reply]

    In Mark Trail, the bear is checking to see if Cherry is medium rare. In Funky Winkerbean, we’re all checking to see if the story is half-baked.

    In Mark Trail, once Mark and Wes have restored order to the camp, Cherry will be a demure lady and open their beer cans with rifle fire. In Funky Winkerbean, the time will come when Frankie greets Creepy Les by going click-click as he makes a pistol gesture at him.

  27. Dennis Jimenez
    May 24th, 2013 at 8:10 am [Reply]

    FC – Um, Rocky Mountain Oyster Stew, Walt and that a matzo ball you’re choaking on….

    DtM – And now all I think of is plumbing the depths of Uranus….

    6-c – Ah, reminds me of the old Black Hills Honeymoon – Hot Springs tonight – Deadwood in the morning….

    H&J – Hitchcock’s Rear Weirdo….

    Adios Amigos, DJ.

  28. Matthew
    May 24th, 2013 at 8:13 am [Reply]

    Gas and a power cord? It’s a hybrid chainsaw!

  29. Crankenstank
    May 24th, 2013 at 8:16 am [Reply]

    Ketcham Enterprises Inc. is obviously still working off the stock of ideas left behind before its founders demise, since the acceptable “Kids today” story lines all center around them wasting their lives playing video games. Space exploration is soooooo 1969.

    I have a suggestion for a new caption for that cartoon: “Alice, I have a new idea for role-playing. Get out the gladiator gear.”

  30. pugfuggly
    May 24th, 2013 at 8:16 am [Reply]

    GA “Hey, do you think that swine over there had something to do with the missing pearls? I mean, he probably wouldn’t appreciate them as much as we would, but still…”

    H&J Hmm…a ladder, a chainsaw and a rope. Looks like Jamaal is about to ‘lose his head’…ha ha….now if only I could figure out a more awkward way to phrase that, I could write these myself….

  31. Cloudbuster
    May 24th, 2013 at 8:17 am [Reply]

    @queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#7): Frazz: SOUTH DETROIT!!

    He took the midnight train goin’ AN-EEE-WHEEEEEEERRE!

    Whoa, man, careful there. Phrases like that are known to trigger 80s air guitar/karaoke flashbacks!

  32. Cloudbuster
    May 24th, 2013 at 8:20 am [Reply]

    @Drewbear (#8): …whispering “I looooove yoooou…” over and over…

    It’s better than I want to peel all your skin off (SFW).

  33. Cloudbuster
    May 24th, 2013 at 8:26 am [Reply]

    @Drewbear (#8): I’ll match your non-funny comment. Living in farm/ranch company, I have so many horrific true stories of chainsaws, power equipment, farm equipment gone wrong. I myself was permanently slightly impaired — left with a slight limp (it sounds lame when I say it that way, heh) — by a fall through a barn roof. And I always describe square balers to any noobs in the area when running one as “extremely efficient flesh-shredding, limb-severing, body-mashing machines.” I’ve known more than one guy who’s nearly severed his own leg with a chainsaw.

  34. Chip Whittle
    May 24th, 2013 at 8:27 am [Reply]

    Wow, but Funky Winkerbean looks a lot younger and less dead-eyed in Apartment 3-G today. On the other hand, he’s stuck talking to Lu Ann.

  35. Sequitur
    May 24th, 2013 at 8:27 am [Reply]

    @teenchy (#5): A pig chopping up pork chops is quite disturbing.

  36. seismic-2
    May 24th, 2013 at 8:29 am [Reply]

    GA: “a dapper, nightmarish pig-man
    I agree – I shall forevermore be haunted by that terrifying vision of Slim Skinner in a tux.

  37. Cloudbuster
    May 24th, 2013 at 8:32 am [Reply]

    @Lorne (#17): It’s a Canadian joke? I don’t understand. Why are there no references to beer, toques or people saying “eh?”

  38. Cloudbuster
    May 24th, 2013 at 8:34 am [Reply]

    @WLP (#25): I can never remember the number for 911.

  39. TheDiva
    May 24th, 2013 at 8:40 am [Reply]

    @Pozzo (#6): My personal favorite on the WoW forums has always been “neone” for “anyone.” You couldn’t spare one more letter (and one correctly purposed one) for the sake of not looking like a resident of Hooten Holler?

    GA: The first–and mercifully last–Pluggers crossover.

  40. Chip Whittle
    May 24th, 2013 at 8:40 am [Reply]

    Funky Winkerbean: A. Reality. Show. Tom Batiuk knows we were just joking about Survivor: Westview, right?

    On the other hand now we can look forward to Who Wants To Be a Carcinoma Angel? and Are You Smarter Than An Asymptomatic Carrier?

  41. pugfuggly
    May 24th, 2013 at 8:42 am [Reply]

    A3G I suppose it’s fitting that Lu Ann and her students show up to art class dressed as crayons.

    ASM Daredevil’s other superpower is the ability to be pedantic under stress. “Did you know Alcatraz isn’t even an island, technically speaking? The American Geographic Society defines anything under 2 squares miles an ‘islet’, which….”

    FW What a great idea for a reality show! 15 30-minute episodes showing Darin and Frankie talking awkwardly over coffee and pizza about their apparent genetic relationship, intercut with dramatic re-enactments of Darin’s conception in the back of a shag-carpeted van. Watch out, Duck Dynasty, there’s a new, even stupider show in town.

    MWUh-oh, looks like Elinor’s unhooked her jaw, which means Tom is about to be swallowed whole…

    MT Unfortunately for Cherry, she lands directly on the bear cub, only infuriating the mother bear further!

  42. Chromex
    May 24th, 2013 at 8:43 am [Reply]

    “When I was a kid, we pretended we lived in violent, lawless frontier towns, where the only respite from attempting to murder each other over cattle or women came when we had to battle the last desperate remnants of the region’s indigenous population, who we were working to displace or exterminate. Now all kids care about is exploring fantastic new worlds and adding to our culture’s scientific knowledge and whatnot. It’s fucking bullshit.”

    it is also, yet again,singularly without a trace of menace

  43. Cloudbuster
    May 24th, 2013 at 8:45 am [Reply]

  44. pugfuggly
    May 24th, 2013 at 8:53 am [Reply]

    @Chareth Cutestory (#11):

    the multiverses of Gasoline Alley and The Shining have started to bleed into one another and this strip is going to get mind-bendingly awesome in the next few weeks!

    Hmm…a timeless place in which souls are trapped forever, doomed to repeat the same actions for eternity? Is it possible that they’re already adjacent multiverses?

    @Lorne (#17):

    Wow, yesterday we had a visit from Mr 1982 himself, Jian Ghomeshi, and today we’ve got comedian and radio personality Lorne Elliot! I guess we know how the CBC talent spends their coffee breaks.

  45. Perky Bird
    May 24th, 2013 at 8:53 am [Reply]

    @Chip Whittle (#40): In Westview, there are no survivors.

  46. 150
    May 24th, 2013 at 8:55 am [Reply]

    The shift in public interest that Mr. Wilson is referring to happened in the 60s. But no, keep publishing Dennis the Menace in daily newspapers, it’s still totally relevant, you betcha.

  47. Esther Blodgett
    May 24th, 2013 at 8:55 am [Reply]

    Blondie: Call me crazy, but sausage-stuffed lobster actually sounds pretty good, albeit totally inappropriate for Jewish customers.

    FW: So…Shady McSidekick could have said, “Two words…Reality Show!” and the punchline would have been funnier and made more sense as a response. As it is, I’m wondering what three words Darrin might be thinking of, besides “I love you” or “Cancer cancer cancer.” But Batiuk thinks his audience is so stupid that they won’t understand the concept that reality shows are on TV unless he specifically calls it out. Thus he spoils his own joke for the sake of conveying contempt for his readers. Hey, I’m thinking of three words, too: Batiuk, you douchebag.

    FC: I’m pretty sure God doesn’t give a crap about your prayers at all, Dolly. Knock yourself out.

  48. Dood
    May 24th, 2013 at 9:01 am [Reply]

    Six Chix: It’s all fun and games until someone removes a label.

  49. Greg
    May 24th, 2013 at 9:01 am [Reply]

    6Chix: As we all know, using jazz hands will help you find the best deals on a mattress. Or something equally fabulous. (I was still drawing terrible cartoons in 1979: http://www.ceeminusminus.blogspot.com. Maybe I should have used jazz hands?)

  50. TheDiva
    May 24th, 2013 at 9:01 am [Reply]

    9CL: Some say these twits should end in fire,
    Some say in ice.
    From what I’ve tasted of my ire
    I hold with those who favor fire
    But if they had to perish twice
    I think I know enough of hate
    To say that for destruction ice
    Is also great
    And will suffice.
    (With apologies to Robert Frost)

    A3G: Oh the drama! Will LuAnn choose the obvious scumbag politician, or the noble single-dad veteran? (No really, I mean it. This is LuAnn we’re talking about. Miss “Isn’t Paul Linski a sweet guy with his controlling behavior and creepy family,” remember?)

    FW: Damn, Batiuk, did a Hollywood producer piss in your cornflakes? I mean, sure they produce a lot of idiotic junk, but according to Sturgeon’s Law ninety percent of everything is crap. Case in point: this comic.

    Luann: Yeah, that looks like a place I want to be buying my food from.

    MT: This was a long way to go around for the “how to survive a bear attack” PSA.

    Marvin: Score one for the frizzy-haired box office attendant.

    MW: Fashion Police, I’d like to report a fraudulent outfit. Other Other Meddling Biddy’s pink get-up is pretending to be a kicky Mary Worth-esque pantsuit in panel one, when in panel two it is clearly a bathrobe.

    SM: Oh yeah, I can see how people would miss the big steel doors located on the side of Alcatraz.

  51. Cloudbuster
    May 24th, 2013 at 9:03 am [Reply]

    @150 (#46): Don’t worry, in 30 years or so, the strip will be making jokes about modern kids playing “Call of Halo” on their “PSBox 180 GSes” or whatever it is these darn kids today do when they’re not tooting on their Spacebooks.

  52. Sequitur
    May 24th, 2013 at 9:03 am [Reply]

    GA: That dapper swine kind of looks familar but I can’t quite place it.

    Where’s [Old Man] Muffaroo when you need him.

    Maybe Rocky Stoneaxe has the skinny on the piggy.

  53. Marc
    May 24th, 2013 at 9:06 am [Reply]

    A3G- I know that Frank Bolle thinks its still 1963 and I was born in the late 80′s so I do t have any firsthand knowledge; but I have a hard time imagining that shirts with as many buttons as Marty’s ever existed.

  54. Peanut Gallery
    May 24th, 2013 at 9:09 am [Reply]

    @billman (#Y266): I saw Evel Knievel’s Snake River “jump” on TV, too. As I recall, the pre-stunt discussion boiled down to “There’s no way this can work, is there?” “Nope.” And sure enough, he basically made a parachute dive into the canyon, with a little rocket assist to get him away from the edge. The smoke trail was pretty.

  55. odinthor
    May 24th, 2013 at 9:09 am [Reply]

    FW. — Three words? No, no, no, Darin—never say “I love you” to another man while your wife or girlfriend is in the room. They get all funny about that.

  56. Mibbitmaker
    May 24th, 2013 at 9:12 am [Reply]

    GA: “That’s a peace/victory sign, you twit!”

    GA, meta: I’m a huge fan of alot of classic strips and comics history, if not a scholar, and I don’t care about the stupid comics crossover crap here — or in Dick Tracy for that matter (though the type in Pearls, Lio, and classic Sam’s Strip are a different matter) — either, Josh, so no problem.

    6C: So you go to buy a mattress, which gets exhausting, so when you purchase the mattress and take it home, you can rest on that mattress. Win/win.

    H&J: He must live just around the corner from Crankshaft, who will simultaniously be ready to light the grill for a barbeque. The emergency room nearby is on standby. (and that’ll make Herb live in Westview. There WILL be a tragedy)

  57. Lowell
    May 24th, 2013 at 9:14 am [Reply]

    The line: “I’d better put 911 on speed-dial” makes me miss the days of “what’s the number for 911?” IT’S THREE BUTTONS. When Jamal (or which ever the hell that monstrosity is) is unconscious, bleeding out, waiting for an ambulance– is the time it would’ve taken to hit two extra buttons really going to make a difference?

    That said, the thought of any of these characters bleeding out is pretty pleasant. I think the next time I see one of them addressing the reader with half-lowered eyelids I’m going to imagine said eyelids being removed by chainsaw.

  58. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    May 24th, 2013 at 9:17 am [Reply]

  59. A-wel Cruiz
    May 24th, 2013 at 9:18 am [Reply]

    @Esther Blodgett (#47): I’m pretty sure Durwood’s three words are “Go fuck yourself!”

  60. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    May 24th, 2013 at 9:20 am [Reply]

    @Cloudbuster (#38): especially when it’s 999 in other countries. (might be a little loud for some workplaces.)

  61. Odie Odo
    May 24th, 2013 at 9:28 am [Reply]

    @Charles Solution (#18): Who owns the other 99%… Mrs. Wiggly of the Cabbage Patch?

  62. Cloudbuster
    May 24th, 2013 at 9:29 am [Reply]

  63. Morgan Wick
    May 24th, 2013 at 9:30 am [Reply]

    Walt Wallet has so overstayed his welcome in the world outside the retirement home that even his family has started to come with him to visit, in other words, they’re due to move in too.

  64. Mibbitmaker
    May 24th, 2013 at 9:31 am [Reply]

    FW: I called it — a couple strips ago! A “reality” show. Note how Daterape Dad is exploiting
    St. Lisa-the-Better-Than-You in a sleazy, despicable manner (and he is), but Les is just telling a lovely story.
    Yeah…… right……

    RMMD: Ooh, double meaning!

    JP: Does Neddy even have another facial expression anymore?

    MW: Elinor’s shouting in anger and nothing is coming out. Damn, she’s spooky!
    At least she’s got her gender back.

    MT: The MT Looney Tune is directed by either Tex Avery or Bob Clampett.
    Tomorrow: Fleischer/Famous Popeye will show up and rub an alligator’s belly to make it go to sleep…

    A3G: It’s Bob from the old Sesame Street shows!

    Luann: Oh, he’s leaving…?
    No? …..Damn…..

    9CL: More oversexed Burbers (2 by nature, 1 by proximity). At least these have been nicely funny (dare I say charming?) — unlike the creepy geekshow in Brookie’s other abomination!

  65. Cloudbuster
    May 24th, 2013 at 9:32 am [Reply]

    FW: It’s just Three small words….

  66. Illustrator Steve
    May 24th, 2013 at 9:34 am [Reply]

    MT – Cherry is an old hand at playing dead. She learned it from her husband Mark who plays dead every time Cherry finally gets him alone in their bedroom.

  67. BookcaseHat
    May 24th, 2013 at 9:34 am [Reply]

    Sorry if this has been posted before – I don’t often read the comments, but felt the need to share Park Slope Family Circus. Enjoy!

  68. Illustrator Steve
    May 24th, 2013 at 9:39 am [Reply]

    MT – “Too bad you left your camera in the plane, Mark. A photograph of Cherry being mauled by a grizzly bear would probably be a hit on those captured on camera TV shows and could make a good story!”

    “Nah, Cherry is an outdoors gal and has lived with grizzly bears. She isn’t getting mauled….molested maybe but not mauled.”

  69. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    May 24th, 2013 at 9:40 am [Reply]

    @Cloudbuster (#65): Rosario Dawson wearing cats-ears.

    my life is now complete.

  70. Dennis Jimenez
    May 24th, 2013 at 9:42 am [Reply]

    @Illustrator Steve (#67): Old joke – Punchline, Oh shit, you mean the rite of manhood was to swim the river, wrestle the BEAR, and make love to the native maiden….

  71. Downpuppy, pigging out
    May 24th, 2013 at 9:44 am [Reply]

    Is there anyone reading Gasoline Alley who wouldn’t be happy to hear “Th-th-that’s all, folks”?

    Or longing for the sweet release of death. Either one.

  72. Pinewood Tom
    May 24th, 2013 at 9:44 am [Reply]

    @Sequitur (#52):

    Maybe he’s the mascot of Scancarelli’s favorite BBQ restaurant:

    http://travelgasms.files.wordpress.com/2012/06/img_3360.jpg

  73. Brad
    May 24th, 2013 at 9:44 am [Reply]

    I like that Herb finishes filling his chainsaw up with gas, and then grabs the extension cord. “Well, I’m pretty sure that new lumberjacking tool everyone’s talking about runs on gas, but I better grab this just in case it’s an electric.”

  74. Illustrator Steve
    May 24th, 2013 at 9:44 am [Reply]

    MT – As the grizzly rolls Cherry over to see if she is of any threat to her cub, Sheeley, trembling with fear high up in the burned out tree, evacuates her bowels.

  75. ralph
    May 24th, 2013 at 9:44 am [Reply]

    H&J, Crankshaft: A comics character with a ladder and a chainsaw. Isn’t this Crankshaft territory? Question: If Crankshaft, an obnoxious old man with no apparent redeeming traits, is regularly cleaned up by showing his youthful anti-racism, how come the hateful old lady is never shown to have had better days?
    MT: I’m not a woodsman, but I really think that going into the water away from the bear is a better option than moving towards the bear in order to climb a tree in the middle of a forest fire. No wonder Cherry is never invited along on any of Mark’s trips. Gonna take a lot of magazine articles to pay the Forest Service for starting that fire, incidentally.

  76. Pinewood Tom
    May 24th, 2013 at 9:48 am [Reply]

  77. teenchy
    May 24th, 2013 at 9:48 am [Reply]

    @Sequitur (#35): Are you sure they’re pork chops?

    Aside: I’ve been told that the quality of a barbecue joint is directly proprotional to how anthropomorphic its pig mascot is. Not sure I believe it though; some great ‘cue places have no mascot at all.

  78. Calico
    May 24th, 2013 at 9:49 am [Reply]

    GA – Jesus, that IS creepy, like this:
    (Starts at :12, NSFW)
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f8rto8GTP2Y

  79. Alfred E. Neuman
    May 24th, 2013 at 9:52 am [Reply]

    Pibgorn— Today Brooke subtly reveals why Drusilla has been so mean to the troll. We now see that it was a case of PMS.

  80. Dr. Moreau
    May 24th, 2013 at 9:53 am [Reply]

    Clearly, given the dopey grin and silent, methodical collection of torture implements, Herb has finally snapped and is on his way to Jamal’s to administer payback for years of non-specific pop-culture references and smug superiority. The ladder is no doubt for cutting the phone lines, because poor doomed Herb’s Wife is obviously next on the list. Also, because he’s short.

  81. Pinewood Tom
    May 24th, 2013 at 9:55 am [Reply]

    @Odie Odo (#61):

    Uncle Wiggily Longears is the majority owner of Piggly Wiggly.

  82. ralph
    May 24th, 2013 at 9:56 am [Reply]

    H&J: I’m pretty sure that’s a rope, not an extension cord, but what the hell’s he going to do with it? Regardless, climbing around in a tree with a chainsaw is a really lousy idea for a typical homeowner. Standing both feet on the ground cutting up firewood is risky enough.

  83. Illustrator Steve
    May 24th, 2013 at 9:56 am [Reply]

    MT – “I sure hope my camp stove’s propane tank survived the forest fire!”

    “WHY is that, Mark?”

    “I had that propane tank custom made with a storqage compartment in the bottom of it where I keep all of my writings to be turned in to Bill Ellis. And since I haven’t turned in my 60 past assignments that are stored inside that tank I would lose most of my life’s work!”

    “Not to worry, Mark. From what my friend Bill Ellis tells me about your writing it would not be any great loss.”

    “THANKS for that reassurance, Wes!”

  84. Illustrator Steve
    May 24th, 2013 at 9:58 am [Reply]

    @Pinewood Tom (#76): That’s what Cherry and the bear said when they saw what they were covered with!

  85. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    May 24th, 2013 at 10:04 am [Reply]

    MT: I don’t know much about firearms, but at least until recently, 50% of the humans involved in this story had one, and not one of them has used it. Wouldn’t “imminent bear attack” be a good time to use a gun?

    Later today:
    Mark: “Gosh, you did the right thing by playing dead with that bear, Cherry! I thought for a minute that I was going to have to use my gun.”
    Cherry: “You had a gun?”

  86. Jim in Wisc.
    May 24th, 2013 at 10:05 am [Reply]

    Rapey Cancerstrokebean, Nummer Eins: A reality show about what, exactly? This storyline is getting dumber by the minute. Was it written by a 6 year old?

    Rapey Cancerstrokebean, Nummer Zwei: If Batiuk whitens Lenny up any more, the guy’s going to be practically transparent.

    Blandie: Dag looks like his whole world has collapsed around him because the chef won’t make him a lobster stuffed full of sausage.

    And finally, no new Pibgorn yet today. Maybe GoComics decided McE had finally gone too far?

  87. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    May 24th, 2013 at 10:07 am [Reply]

    @queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#7): re: Dilbert: You’ve worked with one? Imagine working with many! (After working in academia for a number of years, I’ve realized that a PhD is no guarantee of intelligence; it doesn’t guarantee stupidity, either, of course. But boy, I work with some university professors who are just flat-out dumb.)

  88. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    May 24th, 2013 at 10:09 am [Reply]

    @queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#16): You know, after adopting an adult dog, I swore I’d never do the puppy thing again. But at some point, that high-quality squee might weaken my resistance!

  89. Sequitur
    May 24th, 2013 at 10:18 am [Reply]

    @teenchy (#77): Some mascot symbols are more direct.

  90. Droopy Says
    May 24th, 2013 at 10:20 am [Reply]

    @Jim in Wisc. (#86): A reality show about how true believers react to the truth about St. Lisa of the Sacred Tumor? I wish Batiuk would get bored with this and fast-forward to the scene where Frankie tells Creepy Les his version of events.

  91. Currer Bell
    May 24th, 2013 at 10:24 am [Reply]

    Six Chix literally enrages me with how unfunny it is.

    I would be fully willing to believe that the strip isn’t really produced by six chicks – it’s really a conspiracy to perpetuate the stereotype that women aren’t funny by making everyone think that not even *six* of them working together can come up with a comic that isn’t painfully unfunny.

  92. Jerry Fox, from Cleveland
    May 24th, 2013 at 10:28 am [Reply]

    @Droopy Says (#90): Neither Creepy Les not Batuik seem to realize that “Brian’s Song” was only a hit because it was about someone who was already famous.

  93. Calico
    May 24th, 2013 at 10:32 am [Reply]

    @Pinewood Tom (#72):
    More suicide food!

    Plus this restaurant in Montreal: (SFW, but I think foie gras is gross)
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LhtWtF8epmQ

  94. Shrug of the Royal Curmudgeonly Mouthy Police
    May 24th, 2013 at 10:36 am [Reply]

    @Cloudbuster (#37):

    “It’s a Canadian joke? I don’t understand. Why are there no references to beer, toques or people saying “eh?” ”

    Several million Canadians wondered the same thing, but they were all too polite to ask.

  95. Jim in Wisc.
    May 24th, 2013 at 10:43 am [Reply]

    @Droopy Says (#90):

    I wish Batiuk would get bored with this and fast-forward to the scene where Frankie tells Creepy Les his version of events.

    Yep! I don’t which strip he’s padding more right now, this one or Crankie.

  96. Calico
    May 24th, 2013 at 10:47 am [Reply]

    @Lorne (#17):
    *Sigh*
    Canadian politics are just as skeevy as US politics these days…
    In all seriousness, Rob Ford is in need of some serious help. I find it sad. I’d like to see Chris Christie give him a SMEK! and a talk.
    “Get the Hell out of the hood!”

  97. Doctor Handsome
    May 24th, 2013 at 10:48 am [Reply]

    “Mattress shopping” is a euphemism for whoring around, right?

  98. SurrealKangaroo
    May 24th, 2013 at 10:56 am [Reply]

    Your interpretation of Herb and Jamaal made me LOL big time.

  99. Rusty
    May 24th, 2013 at 10:58 am [Reply]

    @Currer Bell (#91): I think the gimmick is each chick gets one day a week, to not be funny. So, they only have to produce one/sixth of the output of the average cartoonist, which is why the inability to come up with a gag per week is puzzling. I blame Title 9.

  100. Rusty
    May 24th, 2013 at 10:59 am [Reply]

    @Doctor Handsome (#97): She isn’t getting her garage cleaned, but I say yes.

  101. Calico
    May 24th, 2013 at 11:00 am [Reply]

    @Currer Bell (#91):
    One of the 6 gals is Margaret Shulock, wriiter of Apt. 3G.

  102. Vince M
    May 24th, 2013 at 11:04 am [Reply]

    GA – Hey, I’m telling you, the pig-man is alive! The government’s been experimenting with pig-men since the ’50s!

  103. debussy fields
    May 24th, 2013 at 11:10 am [Reply]

    MT– From the looks of things, the bear has clamped her jaws on Cherry’s shoulder, which has had the effect of turning her coat sleeve from blue to brown. WTF.

  104. word-doctor
    May 24th, 2013 at 11:13 am [Reply]

    MT: Pay attention, citizens. Once gay marriage is legalized we ALL run the risk of getting too close to a cub and getting nudged by a bear. Asexual adoption of mutants (as the Trails chose) is to be preferred.

  105. tabby
    May 24th, 2013 at 11:17 am [Reply]

    I’m pretty sure by now that MW’s Elinor is the maternal aunt of Norman Bates.

  106. Cloudbuster
    May 24th, 2013 at 11:18 am [Reply]

    @Calico (#101): My impression of Shulock is that she is cloistered in her rural enclave and hasn’t interacted with modern society for so long that such things are only a vague memory to her. “Publicist? That’s a hip thing people do, right? It involves … famous people?”

    // Cloudbuster writes, from his cloistered rural enclave.

  107. Doctor Handsome
    May 24th, 2013 at 11:23 am [Reply]

    I’m impressed by the specificity of “9-1-1.” I thought the line would be, “I’d better make sure the municipal emergency-response number is entered into the automatic-dialing function on my communication device!”

  108. Calico
    May 24th, 2013 at 11:28 am [Reply]

    @debussy fields (#103):
    I guess when all the blood seeps into/onto the jacket, there will be some spectrographic changes. : P

  109. midtown
    May 24th, 2013 at 11:28 am [Reply]

    “Quick, someone call 911″
    “I can’t find the 11 !!!!!!”

  110. Danny Torrance
    May 24th, 2013 at 11:35 am [Reply]

    @teenchy (#5): Those of us who grew up in the Overlook Hotel feel otherwise about Mr. Pig Man.

  111. Amos Snarkadder
    May 24th, 2013 at 11:40 am [Reply]

    @TheDiva (#50): A3G: Oh the drama! Will LuAnn choose the obvious scumbag politician, or the noble single-dad veteran?

    Well, if it’s the vet, I think the Governor may very well plant one of those pink bombs in LuAnn’s bedroom. Good times!

  112. The Rt. Venerable Pasdordan
    May 24th, 2013 at 11:43 am [Reply]

    I agree, Josh, I do: that pig is terrifying. Clipped for future use. Mwahaha.

    Apt. 3-G: Well, Mr. Bolle, we didn’t actually need more proof that you haven’t seen a living human since 1965, but we’ll add Cole and the weird shape-shifting Marty to the database nonetheless. Stay safe and remember to take your Vitamin D: those concrete bunkers don’t get much sunlight, after all.

    Archie: The Simpsons premiered December 17, 1989, which is coincidentally the last time Nehemiah Scudder changed his underwear.

    9 Chickweed Lane: Yessir, back in December 1989, Old Man Muffaroo was just Muffaroo, and 9 Chickweed Lane was funny.[*]

    The Family Circus: This is another edition of “Simple Answers To Simple Questions.”

    Q: Do you think God minds if I just rerun last night’s prayer?
    A: God stopped listening to you a long time ago, Dolly.

    This has been another edition of “Simple Answers To Simple Questions.”

    I am so glad I started reading Heathcliff again. Not only is he surrealistic, inscrutable, and awesome, he’s hip. Though considering how long the marihuana legalization debate has been going on in this nation, today’s strip could have been as old as Archie, and nobody would know different.

    Luann Food Poisoning with TJ

    Mark Trail: This is another edition of “Disappointing Answers To Simple Questions.”

    Q: Does Cherry taste like chicken?
    A: Apparently not.

    This has been another edition of “Disappointing Answers To Simple Questions.”

    Ziggy: According to this Wisconsin Online mashup(!) map, there are 88 cheese factories in Cheddarland. However, that doesn’t seem to count larger producers like Sargento or the blue cheese plant around the corner from us, so it may be understating the situation. I’ll check into the situation after I get done cleaning my mouse rifle.

  113. Liam
    May 24th, 2013 at 11:46 am [Reply]

    Luann-”I don’t care if all the employees at Weenie World killed each other at my urging and burned the place to the ground at my urging.”

  114. The Rt. Venerable Pasdordan
    May 24th, 2013 at 11:50 am [Reply]

    Almost forgot: looka what I found while looking through the awesome Memorial Day sale at Fantagraphics…

  115. Perky Bird
    May 24th, 2013 at 11:50 am [Reply]

    @teenchy (#77): And in my experience, you hardly ever see an anthropomorphic cow/bull as the mascot for a BBQ joint specializing in beef, let alone a man-bull gazing hungrily at a plate of his mesquite-smoked comrades. Why do we see this with pigs so much? Are pigs just generally full of self-loathing?

  116. The Rt. Venerable Pasdordan
    May 24th, 2013 at 11:54 am [Reply]

    @word-doctor (#104): Who you callin’ a bear? I’m losing weight, and only started growing out my beard this week!

  117. Dale
    May 24th, 2013 at 11:55 am [Reply]

    @bourbon babe, unbuckled (#85):

    MARK TRAIL and Guns

    I’ve wondered about this from the outset. Why did Cherry and Mark bring them?
    This isn’t a hunting trip. Are they legal – cleared through Canadian Customs?
    With the background noise of a Forest Fire, would a bear hear a “warning shot”?
    The bear is probably no smarter than the typical MT villian. Would it know that it was supposed to cease, desist, and run away?

  118. Uncle Lumpy
    May 24th, 2013 at 11:56 am [Reply]

    @Perky Bird (#115):

    My theory is that humans loathe animals that share/invade our environment and compete directly with us for food: cockroaches, rats, pigeons, pigs, etc.

  119. The Rt. Venerable Pasdordan
    May 24th, 2013 at 11:58 am [Reply]

    @teenchy (#77): I’ve always believed the quality of BBQ (and Mexican) joints is proportional to the perceived risk of eating there. If it looks like you might be taking your life in hand to order a brisket taco, you’re probably on to something. Tasty dinner, trichinosis? Details, details…

  120. jim, some guy in iowa
    May 24th, 2013 at 11:59 am [Reply]

    pibgorn: well, the ted bundy of the comix page finally updated

  121. tallyHO
    May 24th, 2013 at 12:00 pm [Reply]

    @The Rt. Venerable Pasdordan (#112):
    I am so glad I started reading Heathcliff again. Not only is he surrealistic, inscrutable, and awesome, he’s hip. Though considering how long the marihuana legalization debate has been going on in this nation, today’s strip could have been as old as Archie, and nobody would know different.

    What’s great is that he is putting so much energy into trying to advance he right to not do so much of anything except get blissed out.

  122. Odie Odo
    May 24th, 2013 at 12:01 pm [Reply]

    @Perky Bird (#115): Are pigs just generally full of self-loathing?

    Pigs are also full of worms and parasites. No wonder some religions ban their consumption.

  123. Gringo
    May 24th, 2013 at 12:02 pm [Reply]

    MT: Cherry, having gotten the bear’s attention by playing dead, realizes how to get Mark’s attention in bed from now on.

  124. TheDiva
    May 24th, 2013 at 12:02 pm [Reply]

    Pibgorn: You see, only a complete monster would repeatedly torture a beautiful woman for his own gratification while picking his nose and his butt at the same time. Brooke McEldowney does that without picking his nose and his butt at the same time–it’s totally different!

  125. Dood
    May 24th, 2013 at 12:03 pm [Reply]

    Gasoline Alley: Big man, pig man. Ha, ha. Charade you are.

  126. tallyHO
    May 24th, 2013 at 12:03 pm [Reply]

    @tallyHO (#121):
    grrr…
    let’s try this again:

    What’s great is that he is putting so much energy into trying to advance his right to do get blissed out and not do a lot of anything.

  127. Liam
    May 24th, 2013 at 12:03 pm [Reply]

    H&J-So if the the hanging thing doesn’t work out is Herb going to kill himself with the chainsaw.

    FW-Ah yes the story of Frankie the Date Rapist. The story that America has long been holding it’s breath in baited anticipation waiting to be told.

  128. Amos Snarkadder
    May 24th, 2013 at 12:05 pm [Reply]

    MW: Egad! Marie is wearing a bathrobe at the mail boxes? Charterstone is much more casual than I would have thought. I guess I won’t be shocked when I see Wilbur taking the trash to the dumpster in just his briefs. Nauseated, yes. Shocked, no.

    FW: Three words: “Fifteen percent net.”
    “Twenty and I’ll say anything.”

  129. Dood
    May 24th, 2013 at 12:06 pm [Reply]

    Six Chix: It’s funny because she can’t get that mattress-shopping-addiction monkey off her back.

  130. Liam
    May 24th, 2013 at 12:06 pm [Reply]

    Luann-And TJ will have no trouble attracting customers either. All he has to do is smile and the customer’s doubts of getting food poisoning just from looking at that truck will be washed away.

  131. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    May 24th, 2013 at 12:07 pm [Reply]

    @bourbon babe, unbuckled (#87): well, the one in question was pretty spectacular in his “educated past all levels of common sense”-ness. PhD in Public Administration, no less.

    of course, this wasn’t academia, so the fruits were scarcer on the lawn for such things, but he was still memorable. :-)

  132. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    May 24th, 2013 at 12:09 pm [Reply]

    @Liam (#130): remember the logo TJ was going to be using?

    yeah, he’ll be driving around in a van with a wiener on the side, and that isn’t all that will be on the (road)side, iykwim.

  133. Liam
    May 24th, 2013 at 12:11 pm [Reply]

    MT-”Excuse me, ma’am, are you alright? It smells like your start to menstruate.”

  134. tallyHO
    May 24th, 2013 at 12:12 pm [Reply]

    ugh…
    i can’t type today!

    The Wizened Ways of Mistopher Trendy as Applied to Advanced Game Theorization

    Lukey’s Die-ry, Day Farty Far o’ the Expeer-ment!

    Ah done let Snuffy beat me agin! Upon his declaring vic-tree, ah jus’ smiled!
    Lil does he realize that while today he will shout, “Checkermate!”, To-morry he will shout, “Bugger me, Bunkmate! Bugger me but good!”

    One step at a time! Thas how Game Science rolls!
    Hyuck! Hyuck!

  135. Liam
    May 24th, 2013 at 12:12 pm [Reply]

  136. Amos Snarkadder
    May 24th, 2013 at 12:13 pm [Reply]

    @The Rt. Venerable Pasdordan (#112):

    The Family Circus: This is another edition of “Simple Answers To Simple Questions.”

    Q: Do you think God minds if I just rerun last night’s prayer?
    A: God stopped listening to you a long time ago, Dolly.

    This has been another edition of “Simple Answers To Simple Questions.”

    Thanks, Padre. I knew you would have the pastoral answer!

  137. Liam
    May 24th, 2013 at 12:14 pm [Reply]

    Dennis the Menace-Nowadays kids are too busy and over protected to pretend.

  138. Ratiocinator
    May 24th, 2013 at 12:22 pm [Reply]

    Before I get to my snark, does anybody want to see a good Daredevil story?

    Here you are, my good ‘Mudges:
    http://scans-daily.dreamwidth.org/4359525.html

    9CL: Juliette is always watching you…

    On the bright side, at least we can’t see her terrifying mouth.

    ASM: “And technically it’s not really a ship so much as a cavern sort of thing, and technically he wouldn’t be going down with it so much as staying in the same place while the water level was going up…I’m sorry, I’m being pedantic. A pedantic wet blanket. I’ll shut up now.”

  139. Government Cheese (Deputy Assistant Secretary for GoComics Affairs)
    May 24th, 2013 at 12:28 pm [Reply]

    MW: So is Charterstone a refuge for old guys who like to dress in 1940s era drag?

    Luann: TJ has that look of “I just masturbated in your room, Brad! Whatcha think of that?!” Oh, and that taco truck has health violation written all over it.

  140. The Rt. Venerable Pasdordan
    May 24th, 2013 at 12:30 pm [Reply]

    @Amos Snarkadder (#136): Always happy to provide a word of comfort in times of need.

  141. Mealy-Mouthed Shrug
    May 24th, 2013 at 12:36 pm [Reply]

    @Perky Bird (#115):

    A local downmarket food stop used to have a cartoon ad for “Chester-Fried Chicken,” with said chicken (I don’t know if his name was really “Chester” or not) encouraging passers-by to come in and (presumably) eat his relatives. But you’re right that “Pig as mascot for pork product producers” seems a much more common trope.

    Anyone else here recall the R.A. Lafferty short story “Ride a Tin Can” with the little aliens whose chief joy in life was to be processed into “Singing Pig” brand chow?

  142. Shrug, Explaining Brooke McE
    May 24th, 2013 at 12:39 pm [Reply]

    @Jim in Wisc. (#86):

    “No new Pibgorn yet today. Maybe GoComics decided McE had finally gone too far?”

    I think it’s just that McE’s recipe for Jugged Succubus recommends hanging for at least two days to let the meat bleed out properly.

    ////Yes, that’s a disgusting image, and for anyone other than McE I wouldn’t have gone with it. . .

  143. Shrug Quickies
    May 24th, 2013 at 12:41 pm [Reply]

    BLONDIE: Dagwood’s line should have been “WHY NOT?” but he worried about being caught too blatantly on ZITS’ turf.

    9CL: “What a pathetic sight we make.” May as well save this line; it’s going to get a lot of re-use.

  144. Cambias
    May 24th, 2013 at 12:43 pm [Reply]

    If we assume Mr. Wilson is, say, 70 years old — retired but still pretty physically active, and his hair is thin but drawn dark rather than snowy white — then when he was a kid Dennis’s age it was about 1950. That means he would have watched Buck Rogers and Flash Gordon serials at the movie theater, listened to Dimension X and Tales of Tomorrow on the radio, and possibly read science fiction pulp magazines as the genre entered its Golden Age. Kids his age went on to staff the Apollo Program and actually launch the Voyager probes at the moons of Saturn. Why is he surprised?

    Here’s a weird thought: Dennis the Menace began in 1951. That means Dennis is now as old as Mr. Wilson.

  145. Orf
    May 24th, 2013 at 12:44 pm [Reply]

    Herb looks so HAPPY as he gasses up his killing saw and gathers his implements of torture.

  146. Editer
    May 24th, 2013 at 12:45 pm [Reply]

    DtM — The best part is that the strip takes place in Wichita KS, which is less than a three-hour drive from Dodge City.

  147. Ratiocinator
    May 24th, 2013 at 12:45 pm [Reply]

    @Holly Folly (#13): Wait, you go on chainsaw murder sprees???

    @Mibbitmaker (#64):

    JP: Does Neddy even have another facial expression anymore?

    I’m not sure; I spend so little time looking at her face, after all.

  148. Jim in Wisc.
    May 24th, 2013 at 12:49 pm [Reply]

    @jim, some guy in iowa (#120): Lovely. Probably would have been better if it hadn’t. Like someone asked yesterday, do the GoComics editors even look at this stuff before publishing it?

  149. Wing-Ding, reincarnated as Shrug
    May 24th, 2013 at 12:50 pm [Reply]

    @CanuckDownSouth (#y281):

    “A kangaroo court is rigged, not ad hoc / informal.”

    I thought a Kangaroo court was where the Estes Kefauver high school of Dacron, Ohio basketball team played all of their home games.

  150. Jim in Wisc.
    May 24th, 2013 at 12:52 pm [Reply]

    @Amos Snarkadder (#128):

    I guess I won’t be shocked when I see Wilbur taking the trash to the dumpster …

    Which, in his case, I would assume consists of nothing more than empty mayonnaise jars and bread bags.

  151. Andy L
    May 24th, 2013 at 1:25 pm [Reply]

    I love how Mister Wilson is lamenting his lost childhood with dialog that was clearly written back during the Space Race.

  152. KreatureFeatures
    May 24th, 2013 at 1:26 pm [Reply]

    @pugfuggly (#41): Nice one regarding Mark Trail.

  153. Cloudbuster
    May 24th, 2013 at 1:27 pm [Reply]

    9CL: Juliette rising silently out of the water behind them conjures up some vague memories for me of one of those “Oh, God, we broke down in fly-over country and rednecks want to torture and eat us” movies, where the requisite mutant-cannibal-killer redneck rises slowly from the lake behind some poor things who are due to die because they had sex in a slasher film. I would not want the last thing I see to be a gaping Burber maw opening to consume me.

  154. Dennis Jimenez
    May 24th, 2013 at 1:27 pm [Reply]

    @Liam (#133): And I’m feeling a bit threatened by it as your empty womb my encourage you to make off with my prodgeny, thus pardon my instinct to maul you – it’s nothing personal….

  155. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    May 24th, 2013 at 1:27 pm [Reply]

    @Liam (#135): oh yes, TJ haz a logo, and it’s gianter than Brads.

  156. Illustrator Steve
    May 24th, 2013 at 1:29 pm [Reply]

    @debussy fields (#103): “…turning her coat sleeve from blue to brown. WTF.”

    Wow, You’re right! I hadn’t noticed the blue sleeve has turned brown but considering how frightful an experience this must be for Cherry I wouldn’t be a bit surprised if by tomorrow we see Cherry’s bluejeans have also turned brown and smell pretty bad as well!

    It also looks like the bear has already torn Cherry’s arm and jacket sleeve clean away from her torso. Cherry is going to be pissed because she knows how costly those goose down jackets are down at the T. Rading Post!

  157. Amos Snarkadder
    May 24th, 2013 at 1:42 pm [Reply]

    @The Rt. Venerable Pasdordan (#140): Dolly has that look of a child that has never been in need.

  158. Old Folkie
    May 24th, 2013 at 2:05 pm [Reply]

    @bourbon babe, unbuckled (#87): As a former college professor, I also worked with several PhDs who had bricks for brains – and the EdDs were even worse…

  159. sully
    May 24th, 2013 at 2:07 pm [Reply]

    @Lorne (#17): The Toronto mayor’s name is ROB Ford. And yes, he is a joke.

  160. Al of the Christian Singles Jungle Patrol
    May 24th, 2013 at 2:09 pm [Reply]

    Notes from the news:

    Many people have reached the summit of Kilimanjaro, which rises 19,341 feet above sea level. [Ray] Lewis will likely be the first to attempt the squirrel dance upon completion of the trek, assuming he’s got enough oxygen in his lungs to generate the necessary gyrations to pull it off.http://profootballtalk.nbcsports.com/2013/05/24/ray-lewis-to-climb-mt-kilimanjaro-to-raise-money-for-clean-water-projects/#comments

    May Ray-Ray do the Squirrel Dance on top of DFL’s portrait.

  161. bats :[
    May 24th, 2013 at 2:22 pm [Reply]

  162. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    May 24th, 2013 at 2:25 pm [Reply]

    @bats :[ (#161): That’s brilliant.

  163. Huckleberry Fink
    May 24th, 2013 at 2:40 pm [Reply]

    @sully (#159): Rob Ford was caught on a cellphone video smoking crack cocaine in solidarity with his “brother from another mother” Marion Barry.

  164. Shrug
    May 24th, 2013 at 2:58 pm [Reply]

    @bats :[ (#161):

    Bwahah-ha-HA!! , as Poteet might say (and as I just did).

  165. Vince M
    May 24th, 2013 at 3:16 pm [Reply]

    @Perky Bird (#115): Probably because, given the opportunity, pigs would eat us. Look at that picture again and tell me otherwise.

  166. Crankshafts funky smelling corpse
    May 24th, 2013 at 3:56 pm [Reply]

    Bigporn: Jeebus, how many times is McTorture going to knife the succubus? And why would a magical creature bleed, anyway?

    9CL: Drown already.

    Luann: Gut-truck! Health dept highjinks! It will catch on fire! What in the world is TJ going to sell out of there anyway?

    A3G: Too bad whoever is writing this thing could work Anthony Weiner into it somehow.

  167. Der Schnärkïnätör mit Ümläütën!
    May 24th, 2013 at 3:57 pm [Reply]

    The Metapost is up now…

  168. Alison
    May 24th, 2013 at 4:14 pm [Reply]

    “Mary Worth”: Elinor’s expression in the first panel made me laugh out loud. It’s absolutely amazing.

    “Dennis the Menace”: Old people bitching about their long-gone glory days makes kids menacing?

    “Six Chix”: I could draw better than that when I was in fourth grade, no kidding. Shameful.

  169. Lord Copulous
    May 24th, 2013 at 4:18 pm [Reply]

    RMMD: Lawrence, Lawrence of Arabia. He was an English Guy. He came to fight the Turkish.

  170. ralph
    May 24th, 2013 at 4:18 pm [Reply]

    Dilbert: When I first went to college I was impressed by people with PhDs. I grew more discriminating over time as I realized that some professors really weren’t very smart, and some programs weren’t very demanding. But I kept some of that general deference until I got my own terminal degree. There is a lot to be said for that aggravating line: “Are you a real doctor, or just a PhD?” Some PhDs in some lines of work or inquiry really are due respect, but not all. It is worth asking what a person’s degree is in or where it’s from, but the rubber to the road questions are “What do you actually know?” and “What can you actually do?” For the purposes of the cartoon, the guy himself is admitting, “Not much.”

  171. Peanut Gallery
    May 24th, 2013 at 4:43 pm [Reply]

    SFx – Needs just a wee bit more Tex Avery.

  172. Artist formerly known as Ben
    May 24th, 2013 at 5:19 pm [Reply]

    GA: Slim of course doesn’t understand when everybody bursts into laughter. Not until someone hands him a book of Prohibition era sexual slang so he can look up “choking on the pearl.”

    DtM: What do you mean “pretended”, George? Sorry, you left yourself wide open.

    ZTP: Um, how long has Zippy been playing pool with the local Grand Dragon? And how much should I worry about Griffy?

    MT: Cherry murmurs, “Mark, you haven’t been this frisky in years.”

    MW: Elinor isn’t kidding about having to go, as the wet trail on the carpet attests.

    FW: Yeah man, I don’t think Lisa is available to shoot a reality series. Not unless you have access to Les’ secret stash of tapes.

    Crock: “I’m doing a study on rare desert fungi.”

    JP: Neddy helpfully illustrates the expression “dull surprise.”

    BB: Is she a hooker? Please tell me she is. I’d hate to think an art patron would mistake Killer’s vague idiotic blather for depth without getting paid for it.

    GT: Your client is actually your dad’s client, and I’m sure he’ll be thrilled about some smarmy teen chatting about his case on a high school b-ball court.

    S4th: Ah, a lecherous wolf in the grand old Tex Avery tradition.

    Marvin: I do remember that Marvin is a redhead, people. There’s no way any baby would be able to keep a wig on that long without superglue.

    A3G: Nice to see a new face in this strip. I mean that literally. It’s nice to see a man whose face doesn’t look like everyone else’s.

  173. Artist formerly known as Ben
    May 24th, 2013 at 5:24 pm [Reply]

    @Ratiocinator (#138):

    On the bright side, at least we can’t see her terrifying mouth.

    Those poor fish.

  174. Artist formerly known as Ben
    May 24th, 2013 at 5:29 pm [Reply]

    @The Rt. Venerable Pasdordan (#112):

    A: God stopped listening to you a long time ago, Dolly.

    And don’t think Thel doesn’t envy him that option.

  175. Artist formerly known as Ben
    May 24th, 2013 at 5:29 pm [Reply]

    @Artist formerly known as Ben (#174): Sorry, meant “Him” but I was typing in a hurry.

  176. bats :[
    May 24th, 2013 at 5:36 pm [Reply]

  177. Mr K Martin
    May 24th, 2013 at 6:01 pm [Reply]

    FUNK WINK: Ideas for possible Lisa Moore reality shows.

    MY APE SHIT CRAZY OBSESSION: Les Moore takes you on a tour of his home that has been converted into a holy shrine to his dead wife until Kayla strangles him to death with her bare hands and then runs off to Vegas with Harry Dinkle.

    HOARDING – BURIED DEAD: Les Moore discovers the bodies of several missing family members buried under a mountain of copies of “Lisa’s Story” and dead Lisa instructional videotapes.

    OH HOLY SIT: Jamie Kennedy hosts as participants in Lisa’s Legacy Run constantly get knocked into the water by giant foam rubber obstacles. The winners get to sit down and contemplate the fact that they could have just donated money to cancer research and skipped all that other crap.

    CORPSES AND TIARAS: Frank and Les dig up Lisa’s rotting body and enter it in a zombie beauty pageant. Spin Off: “Here comes Summer Boo Boo”.

    REAL DEAD HOUSEWIVES OF WESTVIEW: Nuff said.

  178. Illustrator Steve
    May 24th, 2013 at 6:01 pm [Reply]

    @bats :[ (#161): OUTSTANDING! TRMT really needs to use your work added to this story!

  179. Milly
    May 24th, 2013 at 6:51 pm [Reply]

    I better make sure 9-1-1 is on speed dial. Pressing a third button is far too much hassle.

  180. KreatureFeatures
    May 24th, 2013 at 8:21 pm [Reply]

    @bats :[ (#161): I like everything about this.

  181. Peanut Gallery
    May 24th, 2013 at 8:22 pm [Reply]

    @bats :[ (#176): Bravo, brilliantly done! (And you might want to save that wolf, to insert into the strip next time Cassandra Cat makes an appearance…)

  182. Peanut Gallery
    May 24th, 2013 at 8:47 pm [Reply]

    @Sequitur (#89): That logo is admirable for its candor.

  183. un malpaso
    May 24th, 2013 at 8:50 pm [Reply]

    Oh, don’t worry, Mr. Wilson. Despite the veneer of “Federation of Planets” brotherhood, I’m sure Dennis is basically still playing around with killing the indigenous friendly aliens of Enceladus.

  184. Sgt. Stoned
    May 24th, 2013 at 9:56 pm [Reply]

    BB: Ha-ha. Modern art, am I right? A three year old could do better. But seriously, if you ever want to pick up one of them ditzy artsy-fartsy broads that hang around museums, just stand there in front of some modern piece of shit and spout lame generalities like “profound statement on the world situation today” and I guarantee you’ll be into her pants faster than Picasso got into France.

  185. bats :[
    May 24th, 2013 at 10:43 pm [Reply]

    @Illustrator Steve (#178): To be honest, it’s not my work at all. It’s Cherry’s head (duh) attached to the very attractive Licinde from TRMT’s own graphic work, “Edge of Adventure” (you can follow it on FB, along with his commentary on working with MT). So it’s all TRMT’s ladies.

    (I love love love Licinde’s furry one-piece suit!)

  186. bats :[
    May 24th, 2013 at 10:45 pm [Reply]

    @Jim in Wisc. (#86): I found the Friday Pibgorn at gocomics.com. Wasn’t really worth my while, other than to see BMcE’s continuing opinion of his critics.

  187. Droopy Says
    May 24th, 2013 at 11:23 pm [Reply]

    @bats :[ (#186): At least the last image shows us where BM gets his ideas.

  188. Droopy Says
    May 24th, 2013 at 11:48 pm [Reply]

    Moby Spiderman: I look forward to Spiderman’s impending battle for the second sub. It’s one more chance for him to blow it.

    Funky’s Flunkies: Now that the sweet, innocent little ditz has become aware of the presence of evil in the world, can we get her to visit Creepy Les for some comparison shopping?

    Family Circus: That’s right, Billy, keep practicing that sour-grapes attitude.

    Mark Trail: Boy is Mark’s face red! He meant to put Cherry out of her misery, not injure an innocent animal.

    Pluggers: Why blame the ‘do on Mary Tyler Moore? Three Mile Island makes a much better explanation.

  189. tymime
    May 25th, 2013 at 4:08 am [Reply]

    “I’d better make sure 911 is on speed-dial. That way, I won’t waste 3/4 of a second pressing two extra buttons.”

  190. Anonymous
    May 25th, 2013 at 4:26 am [Reply]

    @tymime (#189): I read it as “Herb is such menace that I can’t spare the extra fraction of a second to punch in three numbers.” So the joke works, in a belabored way.

  191. Droopy Says
    May 25th, 2013 at 5:02 am [Reply]

    @Anonymous (#190): Okay, who ate my cookies this time?

  192. Abel Undercity
    May 27th, 2013 at 8:11 am [Reply]

    DtM: So when all the other kids were going to the movies to watch Commander Cody or Flash Gordon, Mr. Wilson stayed home, waiting for Tom Mix or Gene Autry.

    In other words, he’s a grumpy asshole from way back.

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