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The real reason people run for judge: REVEALED

Beetle Bailey, 2/21/09

I know attempting to piece together what’s going in any particular Beetle Bailey is a fool’s errand, but what I’m getting — and please do correct me if I’m wrong — is that the General has gotten into some kind of fender-bender (with who? with what?), which has ruffled or shaken up his wife somehow (but not him?), and all he cares about his is car, and his wife is devastated by his indifference. Am I right? Because that’s … that’s pretty depressing. I hope I’m not right.

Marvin, 2/21/09

Marvin alone among comic strips dares to grapple with the profound social effects of today’s economic turmoil, as the evaporation of his grandparents’ stock portfolio has forced them to move in with Marvin and his parents. This has opened up rich new opportunities for hard-hitting original storylines. For instance, while usually two photocopies of the same drawing of Marvin would be open-mouthedly thought-ballooning a terrible unoriginal joke to his dog Bitsy, today two photocopies of the same drawing of Marvin are open-mouthedly thought-ballooning a terrible unoriginal joke to his grandparents’ dog Junior.

Judge Parker, 2/21/09

“Well hello, your honor! My breasts and I were just in the neighborhood … and we’ve arrived just in time for the couch-orgy, I see!”

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