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Metapost: Yet more self-plagiarism (plus COTW)

Folks, we’re seeing a real epidemic here. Faithful readers have already brought to light the worst kind of joke recycling from The Family Circus and Blondie. Now we see that the boys at Walker-Browne Amalgamated Humor Industries LLC are getting in on the act, thanks to this damning evidence from faithful reader Tom. Compare the strip from last Sunday with an installment from 1987:

The sort of fascinating thing here is that, unlike the other two self-plagiarized strips, the new Beetle Bailey has been entirely redrawn; only the gag has been recycled. This is funny because the typical Beetle Bailey gag isn’t really that hard to come up with, if you follow me. The minor differences between the two strips are kind of interesting as well: apparently in prudish 1987 we weren’t allowed to actually specify what kind of calendars Killer collected, and while Reagan-era Rocky rocked out to music recorded on that time period’s favored format, the current incarnation is some kind audiophile retro-geek. You should also note that, against all odds, the set-up throwaway panels are even lamer in the 2009 strip, possibly because the artists are now uncomfortable portraying American soldiers as desperate beer-guzzling alcoholics. (Portraying them as semi-catatonics is apparently still OK.)

In other news, faithful reader yellojkt’s National Kinkiest Komic Karacter Kick-Off is wrapping up, with voting in the hottest mom, most desirable dominatrix, and best bear categories.

And now, the moment you’ve been waiting for … your COMMENT OF THE WEEK!

“My God, Tommie, if the cereal you buy is ‘Health Flakes,’ what type of vibrator do you own?” –Dingo

And the hilarious runners up!

“I admire how orderly and polite Tommie’s thoughts are in the morning. Under similar circumstances, my thoughts would’ve probably been: ‘Who the fuck…? Goddamn, can’t I even have my mug of milk in the morning?’” –Joe Blevins

“No, the woman your dad is seeing tonight, while I sit with you kids, is his girlfriend. I’m … Tommie.” –ohyes

“Oh, Peter Parker is happy. I thought that was a douchey look and statement of sarcasm. ‘Oh man, that’s great! I’ll have the smell of mothballs and Jean Nate perfume to look forward to.’” –scruffylove

“If poor old Aunt May is so frail that the lights unexpectedly being turned off can trigger a medical condition, then I’m sure that Peter’s horrible, horrible smile in the third panel will cause a stroke.” –Alan’s Addiction

“Oh, man! That’s great! It’s so great I’m going to ride my giant invisible pogo stick!” –Dannymo

“I am sincerely grateful for today’s Blondie. In this sadly diminished post-Scaduto world I had thought never again to see a squat, impossibly-legged man whose ensemble seems incomplete without an ‘I like Ike’ button characterizing something as ‘the bomb.’ I’m just going to go ahead and assume his name is Boffo Barfington.” –Violet

“I interpret Kenley’s ‘Oh’ as an abbreviated form of ‘Oh, sorry, I thought there might be something interesting about you.’” –He Brought Queenie Baby Jesus

“Also, what kind of doctor’s office sends that kind of news by text? ‘U may hv CNCR n yr nutz. PLz call ASAP. KTHXBAI.’” –Old School Allie Cat

“I think my favorite part of Funky Winkerbean today is the news announcer’s use of ‘plummet,’ a fantastic verb that would normally not find much use in the Funkyverse, as the characters and their hopes and dreams do no so much ‘plummet’ as ‘spiral slowly into a black pit of despair’ from which there is no escape. Oh, and also, cancer.” –Lorna

“The irony is that Crankshaft used to drive Funky’s bus when Funky was in high school. Now Funky is going to die before Crankshaft. That should bring a smirk to his face.” –Racing J

“‘Queenie,’ you and Ted CAN make it on your doctor’s salary. You may have to budget, though. No more volumizing shampoo — oops, you already have cut back in that department.” –blackgoat

“What sort of power does Adrian have over Ted that instead of inspiring confidence and diverting attention away from his real schemes, Ted confesses his problems and failures at her slightest raised eyebrow? ‘I have no money! I lost my job! I knowingly wrote a bad check for your dad! I’m marrying you for the money!’ Soon he’ll be curled up at Adrian’s feet, sobbing out things like, ‘I proposed because you remind me of my dog! I can’t spell! This mustache is pasted on!’ Adrian’s right: her dad won’t worry about the check. Dr. Jeff will be too horrified at seeing a younger version of his relationship with Mary Worth to think about anything else.” –Eldaglass

“Watching Funky Winkerbean descend into all-out open sadism is like the comedic equivalent of the relief that comes when you finally begin to vomit after spending ten minutes hovering nauseously over the toilet bowl.” –commodorejohn

“There’s been a lot of talk about Funky’s junk today, but we still haven’t addressed the elephant in the room. Does it or does it not smell like mozzarella?” –Artist formerly known as Ben

“Rusty doesn’t recognize money because one panel earlier it was a limp, green fish. Rusty also doesn’t recognize the cruel trick Mark is playing on him with those clothes choices.” –Dragon of Life

“The gift of a crepe maker says, ‘I’ll still be here for breakfast, but instead of staying in bed with me, I’ll expect you to get up at 5 a.m. and spend hours cooking me fancy French meals.’ It’s the kind of mixed message you’d expect from a woman wearing a bathrobe over a turtleneck.” –BigTed

“I’m pretty certain the phone company yanks out the old payphones and takes them away. Funky probably has some abandoned fetus in that box.” –Rusty

“A young child knows how to turn on the TV?! She’s a witch! A witch! BURN HER!” –Ista

“It’s time for Funky Winkerbean to reconsider that jaunty font in the title panel. That worked fine when it was a silly school comic, but it looks absurd in the present version, and doubly so when it has the wan balding pate of Miserable Q. Avatar floating right there beside it. Batiuk needs to look into some more modern shit like Times New Sarcoma or Dead Wife Sans.” –One-eyed Wolfdog

“She knows how to turn on the TV? She’s doing better than me, with the eighteen goddamn remotes.” –The Restless Mouse

“Current tweener storyline aside, does the artist of [Judge Parker] get paid by the cup size?” –thurston unger

“Mary’s head is just swimming with where to start meddling! ‘Who do I track down first?! This mysterious lover, or the health inspector to close this place down for using the bathroom as a salad prep station?!’” –Rachel211

“Mark Trail’s narration box must have been on a pee break or something. ‘What’d I miss? Oh, did panel 1 confuse you? Well, the man has the camera now, see? That’s about all I got, sorry.’” –JP (not Judge Parker)

“Many a young man is advised to ‘think about baseball’ so as avoid the embarrassment of premature ejaculation. However, Gil Thorp takes this to new heights, avoiding Coach Mrs. Coach Thorp’s obvious sexual come-on (‘we both have some gaps‘) by focusing on Matt Rogers’ lack of hitting prowess.” –DownwithOPP

“I just love that Slylock has a wardrobe labeled ‘disguises’. I also love that it contains 1) a bunny suit, 2) a lion suit, 3) a rat suit, and 4) a hat, a whip, and a pair of tall leather boots. Slylock is thus equipped to sneak into virtually any kind of S&M club in town, be it herbivore, carnivore, omnivore, gay omnivore, what have you.” –Li’l Bunnë FooFoo

“I love the first panel in today’s Mark Trail, and not only because it looks like the guy blackjacked Rusty with his own camera. I like its wordless violence, opening today’s strip with only an afterthought of an explanation in the third panel. It’s almost pop art. It should be pop art. How much do you think it would cost to blow this up and hang on a wall, so that I can go to sleep each night with the cheerful thought of Mark’s freaky-deaky kid getting robbed and punched out by a subhuman goon?” –teddytoad

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This entry was posted on Monday, March 30, 2009 at 09:58 pm and is filed under Beetle Bailey, metaposts. |

144 responses to “Metapost: Yet more self-plagiarism (plus COTW)”

Dragon of Life
March 30th, 2009 at 10:19 pm [Reply]

I know I was asked to apply BB’s own internal consistency to a strip as a follow-up to psychsexual Blondie escapades, but the only thing I can come up with for something like this is: “Phonin’ it in.”
Rusty
March 30th, 2009 at 10:21 pm [Reply]

Upon further reflection, my comment was kind of nasty. But it got me on the float! Whooohooo! Congrats as always to all of your fine work.
Anonymous
March 30th, 2009 at 10:26 pm [Reply]

Yay, and congrats, everyone.

Re: “Beetle Bailey” … So it took 20 years for Sarge to trade compulsive drinking for compulsive eating? Let’s hope 2029 doesn’t find him in Sexaholics Anonymous.
BigTed
March 30th, 2009 at 10:27 pm [Reply]

Darn it… “Anonymous” #3, that’s me.
sugarpie
March 30th, 2009 at 10:33 pm [Reply]

Dingo, ohyes, John, Ben et al Congratulations! Enjoy the ride and thanks for all the laughs!
scruffylove
March 30th, 2009 at 10:36 pm [Reply]

Sweet. My career as a writer is well on its way.
druidbros
March 30th, 2009 at 10:38 pm [Reply]

Whats a snarky bastard gotta do to make the honorable mentions?
True Fable
March 30th, 2009 at 10:38 pm [Reply]

Dingo FTW, definitely! Congratulations to him and all the float riders; man, that was a great week!
Artist formerly known as Ben
March 30th, 2009 at 10:49 pm [Reply]

A funny load of COTW’s today. I had read Dingo’s before but laughed like it was the first time.

As to my own bit, I am so glad I never chose to post comments under my own full name. Any prospective employer who found out I had thoughts like that in my head would have security throw me out with extreme prejudice.
cj
March 30th, 2009 at 10:50 pm [Reply]

Getting this one in late, but Re: the current Tommie storyline:

Dr. Boy-who-is-a-friend-but-not-in-that-way’s daughter bears the name “Kenley”? Sounds like one of those one-named butlers from a Masterpiece Theater installment.
Artist formerly known as Ben
March 30th, 2009 at 10:51 pm [Reply]

Also, on that Beetle Bailey rehash: Back in ‘87, they couldn’t specify what kind of calendars Killer collected. Now they can say “Pin-ups” as long as all the girls are so poorly drawn, you can’t make out their lady parts. Progress?
Rachel211
March 30th, 2009 at 11:18 pm [Reply]

Ahhh…..that just made my week. ;)
Doug Puthoff
March 30th, 2009 at 11:31 pm [Reply]

Yes, one great thing about the Curmudgeon: now that I no longer read the daily paper, I don’t have to put with cruddy comics. The Curmudgeon finds them for me, sort of like “Readers Digest.” Now if Josh only snarked more on “Real-Life Adventures.”

3-30 FW–Who the fark cares about Dinkle’s return to lead the orchestra. Funky’s on his deathbed and a workaholic, and Cory’s a delinquent. You can’t have it both ways.
yellojkt
March 30th, 2009 at 11:47 pm [Reply]

The CC Comics Archive is truly amazing. I can’t imagine the number of file drawers the Garfield Hates Lasagna file takes up.

Again, thanks for the link Josh. We have a battle royale going on in the MILF competition. People sure take their objects of lust seriously. Just like Killer and Otto.
Dave
March 30th, 2009 at 11:47 pm [Reply]

Beetle Bailey, the same plagiarlistic comic that remains in the Washington Post over the recently booted Judge Parker. Grrrrr.

comics@washpost.com.

Ask them to please re-instate the Judge in the comics.
Sheila Sternwell
March 30th, 2009 at 11:52 pm [Reply]

Congrats to everyone!

You know, this is crazy, but I actually remember that 1987 Beetle Bailey, or at least a similar one. As a kid I remember thinking it was kind of edgy to have a naked woman on one of Killer’s calendars. The 2009 version, you’ll notice, is much more tame.
commodorejohn
March 30th, 2009 at 11:53 pm [Reply]

There were so many comments this week that, by rights, should pretty much have all tied for the top spot. But if I absolutely had to pick a winner, I’d say Dingo’s was a pretty solid choice. And most of the rest wound up on the float, so it’s all cool.

Also, boo-yah, runner-up! *tosses candy from the float*
Poteet
March 31st, 2009 at 12:06 am [Reply]

Yup, this was a good week for snark. Congratulations to Dingo and the very funny floating folks!

I too am pretty sure I remember that 1987 Beetle Bailey. I think I even remember vaguely wondering why the spartan barracks at Camp Swampy would have an almost-classy wooden bookshelf like the one holding Zero’s comic books. I see he has now been downgraded to boxes.
Roto13
March 31st, 2009 at 12:32 am [Reply]

Oh man. The comments of the week always make me laugh but this time they nearly made me pee myself.
holls
March 31st, 2009 at 12:40 am [Reply]

Is no one else horribly skeeved and yet riveted at the way Killer’s hat-nubs tingle while he ‘checks out his collection’?
True Fable
March 31st, 2009 at 12:47 am [Reply]

#20 holls – I’m usually skeeved at Killer’s tingling hat-nubs. If his hat reacts that strongly to his erection, I would hate to imagine the workout the front of his pants must get.

So I won’t, but pass the brain bleach anyway.
Dingo
March 31st, 2009 at 12:56 am [Reply]

Yes! Yes! Yes! Tootsie Rolls for all!
Poteet
March 31st, 2009 at 1:19 am [Reply]

NEW ADVENTURES/VICTORIA — Could someone kindly tell me who Edward has a crush on? Unfortunately, I don’t know how to look up faces on Google or anywhere else.
bats :[
March 31st, 2009 at 1:28 am [Reply]

Oh, my, my, my, Mary. There is no shot like a cheap shot:
http://www.flickr.com/photos/9545446@N07/3401060442/sizes/o/
True Fable
March 31st, 2009 at 1:32 am [Reply]

Cathy (Must Die!) Seriously, Cathy was done on drugs today. W.T.F.?!
Eff minus I laughed aloud.
Children of the Circle Just learn to make your “X”, Jeffy. That’s all we expect of you.
Older Than The Damn Hills While Skeezik’s gesture is awfully sweet, there’s no need for her to poke her own eyes out.
WTF GT Yes, but the burning question is, Who’s going to bash his own head or invite Clambake back? who’s the designated squirrel?
Scenes from Suburban Hell Hmm! Could it be that somebody’s been influenced by the snark around here?
Sophie Spencer, Former Dweeb OMG she’s our captain, her grades are slipping, you’re wearing a braid with a pink thingie in it! OMGWTFBBQ!?! 1010111!
Fist O Justice Theater Now it would just blow everyone’s mind if tomorrow Mark said, “Fine! We’ll drive into town tomorrow and buy you a new camera!” Then we can move on to where Cherry gets run over by Stupid and Stupider Criminal Elements, and we’re on our way to Dark Angry Mark stories. yeah..
Poopypants McBrat Yeah, and a lot of not-so-famous women were bitches but you’re the only one I know personally.
Meddling Heights “…have you ever seen a gladiator movie?”
Kit Walker, Bangalla Ranger Har har, it’ll be great when she finds out that instead of hooking up with Kit, the captain will be offered the position of Mother of Future Croccos!
left of the pyle
March 31st, 2009 at 2:01 am [Reply]

MT: Rusty sure could “go either way” a la Gwen from Seinfeld in today’s strip. He looks like a normal kid for the first two frames.
Canaduck
March 31st, 2009 at 2:40 am [Reply]

We sure have some funny people on this site.
bitter law student
March 31st, 2009 at 3:23 am [Reply]

For my money it’s commodorejohn, ftw! That is so flawlessly descriptive that I may attempt to work that concept into casual conversation. Well played, sir.
Big Sims
March 31st, 2009 at 5:28 am [Reply]

It started with Dingo’s flawless post and continued through the whole (good n’ lengthy!) COTW. Wheezing, chortling, smothered laughs (everyone else is asleep around here) that hurt. I haven’t cracked up like this in a while – at least since the last COTW! Y’all are great.

Down Lurker Periscope! Dive Dive Dive!
Will
March 31st, 2009 at 6:01 am [Reply]

The 2009 Beetle Bailey should have said “Killer collects porno”
gleeb
March 31st, 2009 at 6:24 am [Reply]

Candor: Well, a twitter gag, will certainly keep this stale story fresh! Well done, sir!

Jump Start: So, the one fellow is frugal, and his brother is exasperated by it? Ho ho, there’s a situation you haven’t completely exhausted yet!

Brenda: They will, of course, drag this out for another three days, because they say you should can people on a Friday.

9CL: More jaw-jaw about how dancing and music are incompatible, but never getting into details. How fresh!

Dilbert: A one-shot character who has an annoying habit in lieu of a personality? Why, here’s a new development!

Edge City: I’ve only been reading this strip for a year or so. Can someone tell me if we’re supposed to hate these characters for being shrill and tiring?

‘bean: How does he expect to be able to tell if it’s been established that he’s deaf as a post?

Gas: She’s made her decision, and she’s gong ahead with the tears.

Sophie, Machiavellian and repetitive!: They wander the halls, repeating the same things they’ve said, over and over. Is Sue Ellen dim, and finding it hard to believe, or is she trying to get Sophie to say it in front of Marcie Young, who will, no doubt, re-mucilage Sophie.

Sequitur: Ooh, more sub-Peanuts observations on adult life by preternaturally-wise children. That well isn’t dry yet, Wiley!

Real Life Adventures: Hey, remember that thing that happened four months ago? That’s still fresh in people’s minds, right?

Zippy: Overanalyzing pop culture? Why, this is underexploited territory for Griffy!

In short, it’s a tired day in the comics.
AhClem
March 31st, 2009 at 6:53 am [Reply]

“Adrian, I have a question for you…”

That noise you hear, which sounds like a jet engine spooling up, it the whine of Mary’s turbo-biddy machine cranking up for some hard-core supersonic meddling.
Anonymous
March 31st, 2009 at 7:19 am [Reply]

#32 AhClem: Get your candy throwing arm ready, we have the winner for next week’s COTW!
One-eyed Wolfdog
March 31st, 2009 at 7:21 am [Reply]

#31 – gleeb, re Edge City: Yes! But it is permissible to hate them all for many other greater and lesser reasons as well.
Baka Gaijin
March 31st, 2009 at 7:23 am [Reply]

#24 bats [: : SPOO!!! I love it. Mary spritzed with red Kool-Aid. And that’s me at post 33. Darned new computer.
Amateur
March 31st, 2009 at 7:57 am [Reply]

MW: Hey, Mary stole Ted’s thought balloons! And she’s doing fancy tricks like hanging them off speech balloons. You just love to show people up, don’t you, Mary?
One-eyed Wolfdog
March 31st, 2009 at 8:10 am [Reply]

Please take a moment to enjoy Ballard Street today, even if it is not in your usual daily roster! It features a fat guy with his ass pressed up against the glass of the shower stall! Really! And Pluggers, with its corpulent rhino-man on the brink of a catastrophic coverage fail, isn’t doing anything to improve my morning either.
nerowolfgal
March 31st, 2009 at 8:14 am [Reply]

MW -”Is everything all right?” Is that a question that you usually ask when someone comes back from the washroom? While you’re at a restaurant? Are you asking for a blow by blow account of what occurred in the washroom?

Jeff and Mary sure have a strange relationship.

And I don’t want to go to dinner with them.
Vince M
March 31st, 2009 at 8:21 am [Reply]

RMMD: All right, June at poolside in half an hour!
Aww crud, that’ll be weeks from now!
Crankshafts funky smelling corpse
March 31st, 2009 at 8:30 am [Reply]

#24 Bats: I just spewed my coffee all over my keyboard. Thank you.

RMMD: LIFE IMITATES ART: Cruise ship mutiny! http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/news/article531925.ece

FW: DIE DINKLE, DIE DIE DIE

Crankshaft: Could you possibly be more churlish? No, I suppose not.

Sally 4th: Fire the dweeb on the spot, ‘pour encourager les autres’ as Voltaire observed. Marketing people should be farking happy to have a job in this economy. Rule them with an iron hand. They will thank you someday.

Zits: C’mon, my mom would have slapped me silly if I’d asked her to smell my stink like that.

JP: How many days are we going to say the same thing? Get to the farking cheerleaders. I wanna see how overdeveloped Bareto is going to draw these teens.

9CL: “Sethy”? Smack her, man, if you have an ounce of self respect.

Luann: “Taking care of Gunther”? Ewwwww….
The Spectacular Spider-Brick
March 31st, 2009 at 8:59 am [Reply]

A3G: “Staying with Daddy’s friend” is Kenley’s “stranger danger” code phrase for “have been kidnapped.” The crafty girl then begins describing her captor. “And she’s got pretty red hair and is in her late 20s and about 5-foot… Can you stand next to that doorway, Tommie? …seven inches…” Meanwhile, Tyler is in the next room, using his own belt to rub ligature marks on his wrists. This isn’t the first time the kids have played this game; not only does it get them the attention they crave from Mommy and Daddy, the cops always give them lots of yummy donuts, and sometimes stuffed animals too!

Archie: Arch’s unnaturally swollen cheeks in panel 2 has Jughead appropriately worried about his buddy’s glands. Unfortunately, the only one he knows how to visualize is Archie’s prostate.

C’shaft: “So, I hear you have an asshole, Crankshaft.” “Yeah, most people do.” “Sorry, did I say ‘have’? I meant ‘are’.”

FC: Jeffy wishes he were Hawaiian.

FT: And they haven’t shipped any of it to the customers? No wonder sales are down.

GT: Okay, everyone, take notes! Gil is introducing our cast for the next four months’ plot line! There will be a quiz, and no, there is no partial credit for first names only.

H&J: Neither can some strips.

H&L: Trixie’s going to grow up to be Jigsaw.

Momma: I can only imagine that Momma is a billionaire to inspire such ardor from so many hopeless potato-sized suitors.

Ghost-Who-Inspires-False-Hope-In-Lonely-Lady-Sea-Captains: “Those aren’t ‘computers,’ Heloise, those are props from the set of ‘Jason of Star Command.’ Or maybe ‘Space Academy’… I can never keep those two straight. Don’t you just love eBay?”
kalki
March 31st, 2009 at 9:04 am [Reply]

9CL: Cmon, Brooke…throw an unexpected pregnancy into the mix…I triple dog dare you.

Archie: Is Jughead picturing a walnut or a testicle?

Blondie: “Fine, then as long as you’re bending us over like this, how bout a reacharound?”

Crank: Shut up and eat your poisoned cake already, Rasputin.

DTM: There’s nothing menacing about good nutrition.

CircusJerk: Jeffy, Kim Kardashian called…she wants her ass back.

FW: It just isn’t the same effect without his stupid hat.

Hi/Lois: She’ll make some deviant very happy someday if she ever reaches adulthood.

Luann: Cue the porno music.

S-M: Yes! Death by hail of bullets! I won the pool!
Poppinjay
March 31st, 2009 at 9:14 am [Reply]

Hey! I collect menus! And in 1987 I used to collect beer! (however I discarded the containers).

Are you saying people like Sarge ‘n me are lame? Huh? “Josh”?

We’re cuttin’ edge!
Old School Allie Cat
March 31st, 2009 at 9:15 am [Reply]

Ohhhh yeaaaaah! Ridin’ the float!

Now that we have that out of the way:

Luann – I swear to God, I heard porno music when I read that last panel…”Come on into the rare book room Gunther. I know a way I can take care of you…”

MW Small detail, but the way Mary is holding her purse in that last panel is authentically old lady. You just KNOW she has a Sucrets covered in lint, a little squeezy coin purse and several balled up tissues in there. Along with the spleen of the last person who tried to keep her from meddling.

Foob – Why am I still even reading this?

S4th – Having just recently gone through a change in departmental management, I actually relate to the angry weasel faced gent. My new management team oversees training and tech support – and they have never actually done either of those things. So while they’re great at “creating processes” they actually know nothing about the product or our customers. You go, angry man!
150
March 31st, 2009 at 9:16 am [Reply]

You know what, I like the new Beetle better. At least Rocky being “some kind audiophile retro-geek” explains his ever-loving hair.
These Strange Worlds
March 31st, 2009 at 9:16 am [Reply]

Ballard Street

I’ve been complaining about the death of realism in daily comics for some time now (Last week’s Phantoms and Prince Valiant notwithstanding).

OK, today’s Ballard Street makes me take it all back:

http://www.chron.com/apps/comics/showComic.mpl?date=2009/3/31&name=Ballard_Street

My eyes my eyes! Make it stop.
Muffaroo
March 31st, 2009 at 9:18 am [Reply]

BBailey 1987 – What I take away from this is the bemused look on Sarge’s face as he looks at those calendars. “I can understand wanting to make abundantly sure of the day,” he’s thinking — Monday, Roast Beef, and all that — “But doesn’t he realize that all of these calendars have icky, unclad females who aren’t even holding dishes of food?” Then he goes off to his room and slowly ingests a couple more pizzas with his meticulously dressed Mini-Me dog, vaguely troubled by a dim notion that there’s some aspect of all this he might be missing.

Archie – Whoops! Instead of delivering the punch line, Jug has been distracted by an unattended walnut someone left on the ground. Retake! …No? Okay.

Cshit – Could we skip the cutesy preliminaries and spend a little extra time on them shoving the cake up his ass, please?

DTracy – And when Eyejack says “we’ve” got a special night planned, he means himself and Mister Hand Puppy. “What’s that you say, Mister Hand Puppy? You would like to keess the man…?”

DTracy 2 – With a little more concentration, Dick can make that tiny, vestigial little mitt recede back into his body completely, then fulfill the promise of the last panel and rock out righteously as D-D-D-Dick Headroom.

FCircus – Take it easy, Jeffy. You’ve got enough letters there to write “KILL ME.” Why not just knock off for a while, maybe watch some TV?

GAlley – “Aw, that was so sweet, I think I’ll cry! Just as soon as I get finished tearing my own face off.”

Hi & Lois – Attagirl, Trixie! Curbstomp those kiddie stereotypes!

Luann – “Stupid costume.” “Don’t be so hard on yourself, Gunth.” “(sigh) You’re right. Well, it’s not getting any earlier. Get on the trapeze and I’ll go get the whips.”

MTrail – “I told him I didn’t want to sell the camera. Then he grabbed it away and left 500 dollars. It’s last summer’s lemonade stand all over again.”

MWorth – [Curse you, True Fable!]
Gypsymoth
March 31st, 2009 at 9:22 am [Reply]

A3G: Tommie is sure going to get it when Margo comes home and finds out that the Eric-Phone has been used.
Artist formerly known as Ben
March 31st, 2009 at 9:38 am [Reply]

3/31

BallS: Why is a picture of a man alone in his home shower accompanied by a prison rape joke? Why isn’t the glass steaming up? Why are we looking at this guy’s ass? Why why why?

Ziggy: Ziggy wants bloody rodent carnage, and he wants it now.

RMMD: No ice? Hell, you don’t have to tell Agnes twice to take her Scotch neat.

FC: Jeffy has the inside chance of holding onto the “Stupidest Keane” title.

DT: “And my hand just shrunk 50% in the last few seconds. What’s up with that?”

GA: Skeezix. Blew hundreds of kisses. Just for Walt. Is this anything like when J.K. Rowling outed Dumbledore at the end of the Harry Potter series?

H&L: Trixie is getting all sorts of nifty ideas from Saw IV. Wonder if she’ll still be able to remember them by the time she gets to high school.

JP: Correct me if I’m wrong. If the captain of the pep squad has to drop out, won’t her leadership position go to someone else with seniority? Woody Wilson is making it sound like Sophie is trying out for captain, and I’m pretty sure it doesn’t work that way. (Also, what’s with the kid who looks like Randy Quaid?)

C-Shaft: “What, did you think that I was bred in a lab for the purposes of sheer evil? Oh wait…”

Phantom: “Well I’ve just been getting moist over your creepy dad and planning to elope with him. Does that answer your question?”

OBH: Remember when we all thought Ruthie was the crazy one? Times have changed.

H&J: “Some accidents just can’t be fixed”? That’s not a nice way to talk about your brother.

Luann: You can read Luann’s implied offer to “take care of” Gunther any way you like. He’s already put his big fluffy balls on her.

Cathy: The draped look works pretty well for women of… generous proportions. That could be good news for Cathy, if t’other Cathy had spent any of the last 30+ years learning to draw.

Marvin: Grandpa wants to be more like Papa Hemingway. It was either grow a beard or eat a shotgun. Actually, maybe it’s not an either/or thing.
Calico
March 31st, 2009 at 9:55 am [Reply]

I didn’t think Elrod could make Rusty any more hideous, but today he really did outdo himself. God.

SlyFox – haha, the little birdie left a little gift on little Billy’s head!
Braniff
March 31st, 2009 at 9:58 am [Reply]

Speaking of recycled comic strips–I recall that some decades ago, FC ran a series in which Jeffy was hospitalized and had his tonsils removed. Perhaps they could take out his gall bladder this time. In another series, the family went camping. Perhaps the family could encounter a New Age-style cult this time around. Both remakes would bring the “cartoon” back to life–if it is not too late.
Anonymous
March 31st, 2009 at 10:03 am [Reply]

This confession is so embarrassing I am posting as anonymous–I totally don’t get the COTW. What kind of vibrator would she use?
Hibbleton
March 31st, 2009 at 10:09 am [Reply]

Between the second and third panels of today’s MT, Rusty (aren’t kids called “Rusty” usually redheaded?) has been replaced by a ventriloquist’s dummy.

What’s up with snarkers using the word “fark”? Has Josh declared this a no-fuck zone?
buckyswife
March 31st, 2009 at 10:14 am [Reply]

JP: Okay, Barreto, you’ve had your fun, drawing a variety of teenagers, some cute, some goofy (isn’t that “Hoo Boy” from Foob in the foreground), boys looking at Sophie approvingly. But one shot at that conversation was enough. Nothing more to see here; let’s move on.

MW: I’m actually in a little bit of suspense as to how Mary will launch into her meddling. There’s really no good way to begin this conversation: “So, Adrian, how many other lovers does Ted have besides you?” “I was wondering, Adrian, about Ted’s record of fidelity….” “I didn’t realize that you and Ted had an open relationship.” “Does it bother you that Ted has a little sumthin sumthin on the side?” Sadly, though, to drag out the “plot,” she’ll probably inch her way in by asking for a complete recap of Ted’s background, so instead of torturing Adrian, she’ll torture us.

MT: “Mark, the man took my camera–and any resemblance I had to a normal human!”

FC: Since we’re on the subject of recycle-bin comics, isn’t today’s a repeat? And a fairly recent one? (I could be wrong since most FC’s look alike.)

And: Great CoTWs–congrats, all!
Artist formerly known as Ben
March 31st, 2009 at 10:15 am [Reply]

#53 Hibbleton

What’s up with snarkers using the word “fark”? Has Josh declared this a no-fuck zone?

Sam and Abbey’s bedroom? That would be weird.

No such policy as far as I know. Some people may be more cautious of what they type in case the boss shows up.
Li’l Bunnë FooFoo
March 31st, 2009 at 10:17 am [Reply]

As the kids say, w00t! Making the float is a little ray of sunshine in a so-far crummy week.

And Dingo, my man, congrats; I snorted out loud.

Commodorejohn — also very awesome.

And everyone else too. Times New Sarcoma? *snort*
Anonymous #2
March 31st, 2009 at 10:18 am [Reply]

#52, Anonymous. Don’t feel bad, Original Anonymous. I’m afraid I don’t quite get it either.
dreadedcandiru2
March 31st, 2009 at 10:21 am [Reply]

Canadian Zombie: Leave it to Lynn to put Sunday’s strip in its appropriate context; John clearly wanted to clean the floor simply because he felt like helping but Elly would not believe him. She can’t do anything but think that he either wanted something from her or is trying to call her a slob. It’s no wonder nobody helps her if she’s going to pull bullcrap like this; normal people don’t like being told their generous impulses are the cover for something nasty and tend to direct their noble impulses to where thety won’t be wasted.
Winky's Spleen
March 31st, 2009 at 10:28 am [Reply]

Hibbleton #53 – I believe his middle name is Trombone, which admittedly says way too much about the night the kid was conceived.

Beetle Bailey – No way; if you were serious about giving the readers what they want, you’d have retired a long time ago.
Matmaduke
March 31st, 2009 at 10:30 am [Reply]

@57 and 52: I’m with ya’ll, does it imply she uses a generic vibrator or what? Personally i thought she just used a latex mold of Margo’s fist.
Anon #3
March 31st, 2009 at 10:30 am [Reply]

#52 and #57 – Anons 1 and 2 – count me in…I know it’s funny, but I don’t know why.
Comcis Fan
March 31st, 2009 at 10:32 am [Reply]

BB: The portrayal of Killer’s lust changed too. In the earlier version, it’s heavy-lidded leering, with Killer lost in hormonal reverie. In 2009, it’s your standard erect and excited Army hat as metaphor for shwinggy arousal.

Pickles: Actually chuckled at it today.
Old School Allie Cat
March 31st, 2009 at 10:33 am [Reply]

Multiple Anons – I kind of think that if her cereal something so dull as Health Flakes, she probably would probably use BuzzOff ™ brand vibrators.

Although, who are we kidding? Tommie is non-orgasmic.
Little A. Who Don't Know From Nothin'
March 31st, 2009 at 10:54 am [Reply]

Luann: you snarkers will have to forgive my ignorance, but I am from The Bronx and we didn’t know from crepes, and I still don’t know nothing about crepes — but is this a breakfast food? Clear me up on this.

And no wise guy or woman better tell me, more information about crepes can be found on the internet. Ha Ha, I beat you to that one.

GA: does everybody notice how much better and more enjoyable (relatively speaking) this strip is without Slim and Clovia?
Brick Bradford
March 31st, 2009 at 10:55 am [Reply]

#42 Wow–42 posts before somebody made the “testicle-walnut” connection in Archie. Things are slow!

S4th I never knew that marketers had such shitty attitudes. You’d think she’d been put in charge of tech support.

MT All these events are clearly Rusty’s fault because he walked around flaunting that enticing camera. The denouement will be the crooks attributing their wicked ways to the economy. All will be forgiven. Sideburns McChromedome and Rusty will marry and consider adopting.
Little A. Who Don\'t Know From Nothin\'
March 31st, 2009 at 10:55 am [Reply]

Luann: More information on crepes can be found on the internet.
Islamorada Girl
March 31st, 2009 at 10:55 am [Reply]

55: Shakey-O.
Islamorada Girl
March 31st, 2009 at 10:57 am [Reply]

Uh, that would be 52. I need more coffee.
Little A. Who Don't Know From Nothin'
March 31st, 2009 at 11:00 am [Reply]

Brenda Starr: You know y ou are old when you remember when Brenda spent half her waking hours getting in and out of bath tubs.

And you know you are getting old when you are not sure that it was Brenda Starr getting in and out of those bath tubs.
tb4000
March 31st, 2009 at 11:10 am [Reply]

Luann: Evans, just stop. Seriously, if my psychosexual analysis of you is on the money….quit while you’re ahead.
AhClem
March 31st, 2009 at 11:12 am [Reply]

A3G -
Back in the 1960s, Spencer Gifts used to sell vibrators, marketing them as soothing massage devices. The ads would show the model applying it to the side of her face. After 30+ years, Tommie still uses it that way, and can’t figure out what the fuss is all about.

DT – ‘Eyejack?’ Please don’t tell me his first name is ‘Juan’.
TheCasey
March 31st, 2009 at 11:13 am [Reply]

Re: Tommie’s vibrator – Maybe she owns a Healthy Shakes™ Vibrator. “Remember, single ladies, there’s no better way to start your day than with Healthy Shakes and some Health Flakes! broughttoyoubyAmalgamatedConglomerateInc.”

Re: tb4000, #70 – Unless he’s got a time machine, I don’t think that’s possible.
kkarenb
March 31st, 2009 at 11:18 am [Reply]

Rusty gets slapped around by a crook and robbed, and Mark Trail tells him to try to RELAX?
commodorejohn
March 31st, 2009 at 11:23 am [Reply]

A3G – Look at panel one; Kenley’s so wasted she’s having a conversation with a chocolate bar. Coincidentally, so is some random woman somewhere else.

A.D. – I laughed.

BrS – Alliteration: an essential skill for an ace reporter.

DT – It’s nice that Dick Tracy isn’t even pretending to make sense any more.

GA – “That was so sweet, I think I’ll cry! But first, I have to remove this enormous eye goober…just a minute here…out, you little bastard!”

GT – Well, slowly but surely Kaz’s hairdo is returning to its former majesty. Try as he might, Frank Bolle just couldn’t permanently suppress the insanity of Gil Thorp with his Apartment 3-G dullness. Hah!

H&L – Friggin’ Trixie is more menacing than Dennis.

Love Is… – getting steadily more horrifying.

Luann – This is going to hurt.

MF – Yes, Tinsley, we know you hate the liberal arts.

MT – I just about laughed until I puked at Rusty’s expressions today.

Phantom – Oh, I think we’re going for the Luann “build-up to sexiness oh wait ha ha no never mind” approach here.

Popeye – Popeye: making infant babble sound urbane and sophisticated.

RMMD – Oh, right, the infection thing. For a moment I thought she was trying to keep Agnes from getting her intoxicated.

SM – And today’s award for Most Easily Misinterpretable Line goes to Spider-Man, for “take it off–or we start shooting!”
kalki
March 31st, 2009 at 11:31 am [Reply]

65. It’s debatable. The Spectacular Spider-Brick at 41 mentioned Jughead visualizing Archie’s prostate.
Kittymama
March 31st, 2009 at 11:37 am [Reply]

It’s not as lame to collect menus as it is to ask someone returning from a restaurant with a takeout container why he is holding a menu. “Oh, I dunno, sir, I thought I might want food again someday.” And it being Sarge, that’s even more of a given than usual.
kkarenb
March 31st, 2009 at 11:38 am [Reply]

When the rehashed For Better or for Worse started, my first thought was that Lynn should be paid with a copy of the cancelled check she received when the original strips ran. The same thing applies to the Walkers, the Keanes, and to all of the other cartoonists who are running on empty. They are so lacking in ideas that they have to dredge up things they have done before? And it seems to be happening with more and more frequency.

There is plagiarism and there is inspiration – last week I saw an editorial cartoon – “The Moods of Barack Obama.” The cartoon showed a series of caricatures of Obama with captions like sad, happy, despondent, etc. And of course the caricatures all had the same expression. I mention this because the original that inspired it is one of my very favorite individual comic panels of all time. I remember that after Princess Diana’s death, Mike Peters did a similar cartoon, “The Moods of an English Monarch,” with a series of caricatures of a stony-faced Queen.

Gary Larson will never be replaced.
Marion Delgado
March 31st, 2009 at 11:38 am [Reply]

Changeup and fakeout on FUNKY WINKERBEAN:

It’s the PAYPHONE leaving the suicide note, with Funky as amnuensis.

Reassuring continuity: The payphone has INOPERABLE CANCER.
One-eyed Wolfdog
March 31st, 2009 at 11:38 am [Reply]

commodorejohn, I really hate you for commenting on Love Is… because I see your inscrutable comment, curiosity gets the better of me (which, I have to say, can be offered as an explanation of nearly everything that happens in my life, it’s just the nature of the… whatever), I go and look at it, it’s hideous, I spend the next the next 15 minutes spitting variations of “Damn it!” and “Yeurgh!” and “When will I ever learn?“, and I spend the rest of the day feeling like I need a shower and a lot of disinfectant.

I need to find somebody who draws convincing canines (Steve?) to do a series of Love Is… panels that I could actually relate to.
commodorejohn
March 31st, 2009 at 11:40 am [Reply]

#79 One-Eyed Wolfdog – Oh no, man, I’m trying to warn you away! Restrain your curiosity! Some things were just not meant to be known…
seismic-2
March 31st, 2009 at 11:59 am [Reply]

GT: Panel 1 serves to show that Gil Thorp is so cool that he has to sit with his ass on a radiator. Panel 2 serves to show that Gil is so studly that he can stay upright even during the earthquake that is causing everything in the background to sway to the right. Panel 3 serves to show that he is preparing for a guest slot in Dick Tracy as a villain, the pedophile I. Brow.

Luann: “My mom broke her leg. I’ve had to take care of her.” Apparently in Luann’s world, this means “I’ve had to have her put down.” That is why when Luann asks, “And who takes care of you?”, she immediately garrotes him.

DT: Alice slices up a carrot while staring pensively at Dennis’s crotch.

JP: The foreground of panel 1 shows us a kid who, after he graduates, has a definite future as a dishwasher at Corky’s diner. Behind him, the colorists demonstrate how they handle the delicate shadings required to show a mixed-race character.

MT: Since the camera-grabber paid Rusty $500 for his incriminating photo, I’d say Rusty definitely came out ahead, since the reward for capturing those two losers was only $25 each.

MW: The thought balloon shows that the possibly pornographic painting on the wall at least has hope. That’s more than any of the characters in this strip do, of course.
UncleJeff
March 31st, 2009 at 12:00 pm [Reply]

79 & 80 One-eyed Wolf Dog & Commodore John:
I’m actually grateful for CJ’s services. It alerts me to when I should look in on “Love Is..” for the latest perverted adventures of Little Naked Boy and Little Naked Girl (You dirty girl. You diirrrrty diirrrty girl. Ahem) and it gives me the chance to look at the rest of the fine TMS comics like Dick (What the Hell Happened to My Hands) Tracy, Brenda (Will Report for Food) Starr and Annie.
But why is Gil Thorp the same comic as yesterday’s?
commodorejohn
March 31st, 2009 at 12:03 pm [Reply]

#82 UncleJeff – Look if you want, but I doubt you’ll ever find one dirtier than this.
One-eyed Wolfdog
March 31st, 2009 at 12:06 pm [Reply]

See? See?? God damn it! Yeurgh. I clicked on that, because I just had to know. Jesus wept.
Anonymous
March 31st, 2009 at 12:36 pm [Reply]

“Love is…” is one of the grossest things I have ever laid eyes on. That pic at #83 makes Rusty look like a quasi-normal entity.
Calico
March 31st, 2009 at 12:37 pm [Reply]

#85 – Was me – I trashed my cookies installing IE8.
Poteet
March 31st, 2009 at 12:47 pm [Reply]

# 23 — Never mind, thanks. The mystery has been solved, and I am oddly relieved to know that the face I don’t recognize is of someone I’ve never heard of. At least my ignorance is consistent.
Poteet
March 31st, 2009 at 12:51 pm [Reply]

# 83 — Gaaaaaaah!

Now I’m actually trying to decide if that strip is more representative of the concentrated essence of the very worst pop taste of the Sixties or the Seventies. I think I’m going with the former.
AhClem
March 31st, 2009 at 12:53 pm [Reply]

#83 commodorejohn -
“Look if you want, but I doubt you’ll ever find one dirtier than this.”

Oh, I think you will: Rejected ‘Love-Is’ Cartoons
Bootsy
March 31st, 2009 at 12:57 pm [Reply]

# 79, One-eyed Wolfdog, now you know how I feel when I read something like your Ballard Street comment at #37. You know, I can never unsee that!
Sequitur
March 31st, 2009 at 1:00 pm [Reply]

#64 Little A. Who Don’t Know From Nothin’

Kwick Krepes: Crepes are thin unleavened pancakes that are usually rolled up with fruit, veggies or meat with a sauce and served for any meal. Generally considered French in origin. They also can have toppings. Very similar to the Chinese Moo shu (your favorite meat).

If you live in the Bronx and don’t know about crepes, you must be young. Try these.
Crunchy Frog
March 31st, 2009 at 1:07 pm [Reply]

That Beetle Bailey actually made me …well, not laugh, but almost sort of snicker. Which is to say, I found it simply hilarious, by Beetle Bailey standards. Can’t blame them for reusing it.
But god, can’t they give Killer a hat that doesn’t vibrate every time he’s turned on?? I feel dirty every time I see it.
Gene
March 31st, 2009 at 1:15 pm [Reply]

When is Crankshaft going to do the Winkerbean time-jump so that he’s less grumpy and more dead?
MaryAnnTheRest
March 31st, 2009 at 1:18 pm [Reply]

Great comments this week! I missed Violet’s the first time and I’m glad to catch it on the flipside. I see from #38 nerowolfgal that we’re already up and running manufacturing COTWs for next week.

I’m wondering, though, who is this Rusty kid? I thought he was Mark Trail’s son but now he’s yelling Mark’s first name. So he’s just some little kid who got left with Mark? Shudder.

Look, Mr. Elrod, kids lose their front teeth at around the age of 6. The adult teeth grow in fairly quickly. (Sorry it’s not terribly amusing but I’ve wanted to say that all week!)
Sequitur
March 31st, 2009 at 1:19 pm [Reply]

I think today’s Ballard Street and Pluggers are using the same character.

Gross either way.
These Strange Worlds
March 31st, 2009 at 1:19 pm [Reply]

77 kkarenb

I keep hoping that Gary Larson and Bill Watterson both invested their Far Side and Calvin profits with Madoff and were wiped out.

In my dream, they both quietly arranged to bring back their strips a couple months ago and one morning I’ll open the Chronicle and there will be revived versions with all new material.

I think about this a lot.

Does that make me a bad person?
bats :[
March 31st, 2009 at 1:22 pm [Reply]

Ballard Street: wow. Just wow. I showed it to mr. bats :[ and his response was “At least he isn’t turned the other way.”

Which would have made it Love Is… worthy.

And for the record, I am actively entering a local supermarket’s sweepstakes for a Carnival Cruise. Considering I’ve never had a burning desire to go on a cruise (particularly a Caribbean one), I’m a shoe-in to win.
The only drawback is that it’s a seven-day cruise. The Morgans are currently on the second day of their three-day cruise. If I win, you won’t hear from me for at least two years.
Sequitur
March 31st, 2009 at 1:28 pm [Reply]

#96 These Strange Worlds

You’re not a bad person, just living in the same world as Pig and Satchel.
Artist formerly known as Ben
March 31st, 2009 at 1:30 pm [Reply]

#91 Sequitur,
Well said, and I’d just like to add that crepes have made it into the Bob Dylan canon, specifically in “____’s 115th Dream.”
The waitress he was handsome
He wore a powder blue cape
I ordered some suzette, I said
“Could you please make that crepe.”
Mibbitmaker
March 31st, 2009 at 1:33 pm [Reply]

A3G: Does KenLay’s mom know the angry mom from Judge Parker?

DT: Here we go again: constant last-panel repetitions going on as ad infinitum as one of Zippy’s fun words on tape loop — loopy, that is!

ReFOOB: And people wonder why he left her. Actually, they don’t.

GF: Who ya gonna call?…

GT: Great going, Gary Cooper.
Sequitur
March 31st, 2009 at 1:34 pm [Reply]

#99 Artist formerly know as Ben

Man, I can hear Dylan’s voice as I read that. Thanks for the memory.
UncleJeff
March 31st, 2009 at 1:37 pm [Reply]

Let’s just hope there are no plans to merge the “Love Is…” ideas with the “Pluggers” characters.
Artist formerly known as Ben
March 31st, 2009 at 1:38 pm [Reply]

My pleasure, Seq. He was on a roll.

#94 MaryAnnTheRest,
Aye, there is some stuff that Elrod can draw well, but people ain’t one of those things. It may have been a few years since he met any.
UncleJeff
March 31st, 2009 at 1:38 pm [Reply]

83 Commodore John: Thanks. Never saw that one.
I like a woman who knows her hose.
CanuckDownSouth
March 31st, 2009 at 1:40 pm [Reply]

The progeria-afflicted children in Phantom are apparently so bored with their shortened lives that they resort to practical-joke humiliation for their amusement. Next up: setting up the ship’s captain to think their dad is *available*. But who can blame them? If you had to spend your adolescent life in diapers, wouldn’t you lash out at the world?

Of course, the captain’s best comeback to avoid this fate: “No – why do you think I designed it? I’m a misanthrope who wants to spend as much time away from people – especially annoying children who look like miniaturized old folks in wigs.”

You hang out with Edison Lee, Pluggers, and Spiderman Sherman’s Lagoon; I don’t think excels is the word you were looking for.

And Edge City? This is why I have students who think that writing anything correct about a topic rather than answering the freakin’ question as written should get them credit.

I note that the rubric might not have been a great set of rules, but they were there. Part of school is learning to work within limits. If the limits are ridiculous, that’s something you bring up before the assignment is due. You’re not a special snowflake who gets to rewrite the assignment to your specifications just because that would play to _your_ strengths [/rage]
Edgy DC
March 31st, 2009 at 1:43 pm [Reply]

I’ll disagree with you on Rocky. His contemporary “pinups” are merely scantily clad, while his 80s-era calendar girls are naked, baby.

More importantly, he prefers the current breed, as the nekked “calendars” just fill him with an eyes-half-mast smug self-satisfaction, while the bikini clad “pinups” are moving his eyes to bulge out and his hat flaps to bounce stifly up in a symbolic erection.

Of course, the difference is likely that the contemporary strip has sarge coming by before Killer has jerked off and the old one shows him post-wank.

Naturally, Corporal Yo, as usual, spends the whole strip stuck in mid-wank.
Sequitur
March 31st, 2009 at 1:43 pm [Reply]

#102 UncleJeff

I DIDN”T READ THAT! I DIDN”T READ THAT!

(covers ears)

La,la,la,la,la,la,laaaa,la,la,la!
Sequitur
March 31st, 2009 at 1:44 pm [Reply]

That didn’t help.

(covers eyes)

La,la,la,la,la,la,laaaa,la,la,la!
rocketbride
March 31st, 2009 at 1:45 pm [Reply]

a3g: i had no idea that other women were allowed to use sarcastic quotation marks in the A3G-niverse. she’d better use her lead time to quit asking questions and make a clean getaway, ’cause when margo comes home and sniffs that rich, fruity punctuation smell, she’s going to be after that bitch like andy on the trail of a raccon-abuser.
Al of the Christian Singles Jungle Patrol
March 31st, 2009 at 1:45 pm [Reply]

44 — re SF — If an HR manager were suddenly put in charge of my department, I’d be too afraid to challenge the logic of it. The HR manager, after all, knows a million legal ways to fire somebody without having to pay out unemployment, benefits, or even a last paycheck if so inclined.
buckyswife
March 31st, 2009 at 1:48 pm [Reply]

94 MaryAnnTheRest: Isn’t Rusty Cherry’s little brother? I’m not sure who Doc is, though, other than some pancake-cooking geezer who hangs around the house.

The Trail family situation perplexes me as much as the Driver/Spencer situation. Why can’t these people just breed their offspring like… like the Keanes? Good god–what have I just said?
Al of the Christian Singles Jungle Patrol
March 31st, 2009 at 1:50 pm [Reply]

64 — re Luann — Crepes are really thin pancakes, usually used to wrap soft cheese, jelly, fruit, or syrup-like substances. They are usually on the menu at IHOP.
One-eyed Wolfdog
March 31st, 2009 at 1:50 pm [Reply]

If it was really down to it I think there’s one plugger dog lady whose nekkididity would be preferable to that of the usual Love Is… chick, but if it was really down to that, that’s why God gave us cyanide capsules.
kkarenb
March 31st, 2009 at 1:51 pm [Reply]

96 These Strange Worlds -

Do we get to choose which strips will be dropped to make way for the reinstated Far Side and Calvin?
Al of the Christian Singles Jungle Patrol
March 31st, 2009 at 1:55 pm [Reply]

96, 114 — I’d settle for reCalvin and reFarSide (reruns, that is)
Lord Vetinari
March 31st, 2009 at 1:56 pm [Reply]

DT: okay, can we clear this up? is the strange-skeletal-creature-with-bug-eyes named Gertie B.O.’s mother, or his wife?? today’s comic insinuates that she is his wife, but i swear he called her “mother” at one point. this is disturbing me deeply. It’s like reading Momma twice a day, but with a zombie witch instead of a midget.
Garfield: NO NO NO image of john in green tights no no no gaaackk….
H&J: that isn’t a punchline. that’s a cry of despair against the terror of impermanence. Funky Winkerbean is sending out tendrils of death into the comics pantheon; flee while you still can!!!
Marvin: If the grandfather in this feature grows a Charlton Heston moses beard, i will forgive every heavy lidded deadpan glare his grandchild ever visited upon me! because that would be awesome. if all people in comics did was stand around with Charlton Heston Moses beards, that would be way funnier than all of Marvin and FOOBs up to this day.
W.of I: allow me to translate: the king’s speechwriter really means, “man i could use a really fat bong.” people could say that as the last panel of every comic strip ever and things would be so much funnier!
i was going to say something about 9CL today, but crankshafts funky smelling corpse at #40 put it perfectly.
These Strange Worlds
March 31st, 2009 at 1:58 pm [Reply]

114 kkarenb

In most of my dreams,they just add more pages of comics. And move in My Cage, Shortpacked, and Liberty Meadows. Maybe even Jane’s World if we’re talking total transposition to a parallel world version of Texas.

(And I don’t care what they say, Liberty Meadows and Jane’s World aren’t zombie stips. The artists are just really really slow so the syndicates are backfilling during the hiatus).

Oh, what were we talking about? I drifted off for a second. Sure, you get to suggest strips to drop. I have my list right here.

Thump.

Here’s volume one.
These Strange Worlds
March 31st, 2009 at 2:05 pm [Reply]

115

You can get recalvin for free at http://www.gocomics.com.

Or can get the complete run on eBay.

http://catalog.ebay.com/The-Complete-Calvin-And-Hobbes_0740748475_9780740748479_W0QQ_cqrZtrueQQ_fifptsZ1QQ_nkwuscZcalvinQ20andQQ_nkwuscZhobbsQQ_pcatidZ4QQ_pidZ44177274QQ_rusckZ1QQ_trksidZp3286Q2ec0Q2em271

They’re going for $100 and up right now, but I’ve seen them for around $50.

Old Larson is a lot harder. I don’t think it is online (anyone out there who can correct me will be my hero). The complete sets runs over $150:

http://cgi.ebay.com/THE-COMPLETE-FAR-SIDE-Gary-Larson-1st-Ed-3rd-Printing_W0QQitemZ190295472257QQcmdZViewItemQQptZAntiquarian_Collectible?hash=item190295472257&_trksid=p3286.c0.m14&_trkparms=66%3A2%7C65%3A3%7C39%3A1%7C240%3A1318

And there is a leather bound litho set for $500 plus:

http://cgi.ebay.com/Complete-Far-Side-by-Gary-Larson-Leather-HC-Lithograph_W0QQitemZ120399790282QQcmdZViewItemQQptZUS_Fiction_Books?hash=item120399790282&_trksid=p3286.c0.m14&_trkparms=66%3A2%7C65%3A3%7C39%3A1%7C240%3A1318

Note to self: If my novel ever sells, don’t authorize a leather litho set. It’s pretentious. Or anyway, don’t charge a penny over $300.
Al of the Christian Singles Jungle Patrol
March 31st, 2009 at 2:10 pm [Reply]

118 — There’s something about seeing Calvin and FarSide in newsprint, however (I rather enjoy 1960 rePeanuts in my local fishwrap). And it would be AWESOME to see reFoob get dropped in favor of one of these.

Just wishin’.
Mibbitmaker
March 31st, 2009 at 2:21 pm [Reply]

HotC: Careful, Heart — that sort of thing can get you killed and your mom falsely accused of it.

JP: Hey, carrottop! Off the set! You’re disturbing the audience!

MT: “Really? Then what the hell are you whining about, Keane Painting Reject?!”

Popeye: Well, Olive, ask a stupid question…

S-M: Oh, sure, the supervillain they let in…

Ziggy: Well, that reiterates one truism: I’d rather watch a Hubie & Bertie cartoon than read Ziggy.
These Strange Worlds
March 31st, 2009 at 2:30 pm [Reply]

119 Al of the Christian Singles Jungle Patrol

OK, in that case, I’d drop Prickly City and Tank on the grounds that they aren’t particularly funny most of the time but they are never quite bad enough to make fun of.

I’ve about gotten to the point where I can enjoy on-line as much as I do printed… except for Sundays. I think this came when most of my favs went web only, then when I started following a few web-onlies.

In my heart of hearts, I’d probably revive Rip Kirby or Steve Roper first, but I figure there’s probably only a few fans left out there.
Esther Blodgett
March 31st, 2009 at 2:38 pm [Reply]

Today’s snark comes courtesy of my 9-year-old. These are her actual comments as we were looking at the comics this morning:

Family Circus: Have you ever noticed that this comic is never actually funny?

Argyle Sweater: OK, well, this is officially a complete rip-off of The Far Side.

*sniff* I’m so proud of her.
Esther Blodgett
March 31st, 2009 at 2:46 pm [Reply]

I got nothin’ today, so I thought I’d just spread some love:

#24 bats :[ : Awesome, just awesome!

#49 AFKAB re Rex Morgan: You beat me to it, and most likely said it better.

#93 Gene: You are so on the float for that one!

Go look ‘em up, people. :)
One-eyed Wolfdog
March 31st, 2009 at 2:47 pm [Reply]

#122 – I probably felt a similar moment of pride when my dog, as a young pup, piddled directly on The Family Circus.
Jamus The Bartender
March 31st, 2009 at 2:52 pm [Reply]

Congratulations, Dingo Midwest Mudgecon Represent :)
bats :[
March 31st, 2009 at 2:55 pm [Reply]

122. Esther Blodgett: evidently she is your kid. Smart, observant, articulate and snarky! Congratulations on your mad parenting skillz!
One-eyed Wolfdog
March 31st, 2009 at 2:59 pm [Reply]

Buckles today has a very good rendering of the roof of a dog’s mouth, although the teeth are pretty much wrong. That qualifies as a really excellent day for Buckles, probably in the top 1% of Buckles strips ever.
Gene
March 31st, 2009 at 3:05 pm [Reply]

Thanks Esther
Jamus The Bartender
March 31st, 2009 at 3:16 pm [Reply]

Luann: Oh…oh my. Here we go. Gunter’s mom has a broken leg, and we’re going to be treated to a story about how he has to give her a sponge bath. Also, Luann is worried about who’s going to ” take care” of Gunter. Which may involve a tounge bath.
Mary Worth: And here we go. The past few weeks were sort of like the prelim bouts in wrestling before Hulk Hogan would show himself in the ring. And here it is. WORTHAMANIA IS RUNNIN’ WILD….I almost heard “Real American” playing as Mary Worth asked , “Adrian, I have a question for you…”.
JP (not Judge Parker)
March 31st, 2009 at 3:26 pm [Reply]

I’m a little late to the party, but wow, was I ever surprised to find myself on the snark float! I would have never considered myself in the running considering how many awesome snarkers there are on here…. anyway, congrats to the rest – COTW or no, I depend on you guys for my daily laughs! And thanks for the tip of the hat Josh!
Niall
March 31st, 2009 at 3:31 pm [Reply]

Dingo, you slay me… I think Tommie would only touch a Hello Kitty brand. (And it would be the only thing she’d let touch her.)

My WTF moment today was Hi&Lois, which has been mentioned before. That was a rather complete departure, including in charatcer for Trixie.

(Yeah, kinda quiet as I’ve been busy on all fronts. No, not bizzy. Well, okay, a little, but not enough to warrant not having time to post or even read.)
Artist formerly known as Ben
March 31st, 2009 at 3:33 pm [Reply]

#123 Esther,
And I also thank you kindly.
Sequitur
March 31st, 2009 at 3:50 pm [Reply]

OBH: Earl and Pearl. Mirror images of hate. Sibling animosity and repulsion at it’s best. Short and sweet. Gotta love it.
Poteet
March 31st, 2009 at 3:59 pm [Reply]

# 64 Little A. — On the small chance that you’ll see this, there was a time, years ago, when crepes were really an “in” food (she says, waving her cane), and crepe pans, often accompanied by small crepe recipe booklets with color photos, were common wedding and shower gifts. I think that time was the early Eighties, but we Iowans are sometimes among the last to find out about national food trends, so I really don’t know.
Sequitur
March 31st, 2009 at 4:08 pm [Reply]

#134 Poteet
I remember back in the 70s making crepes (well, my wife did) by baking them on the bottom, upside down, of the frying pan. You know, the part that normally goes next to the heat. We didn’t have one of those new-fangled crepe makers. I don’t think crepes have been made in our household in at least 15-18 years.

Now I want some crepes.
Hibbleton
March 31st, 2009 at 4:28 pm [Reply]

#135: (OT, but since everyone’s moved on) I too remember making them on the bottom of a frying pan in the seventies. Although, as I recall, we used to dip the bottom of a very hot pan in the batter and quickly pull it out with a rolling motion. It would cook instantly.
migellito
March 31st, 2009 at 4:53 pm [Reply]

comments of the week, and there was much rejoicing.
Charlene
March 31st, 2009 at 5:01 pm [Reply]

Congrats, everyone!
rocketbride
March 31st, 2009 at 5:23 pm [Reply]

apparently i don’t know how to spell raccoon. and i call myself an animal lover – i deserve a right cross of spell check.
Muffaroo
March 31st, 2009 at 6:43 pm [Reply]

Al @115 – Ah, but would you want to read reCalvin if Watterson was redrawing all the old strips to prove that Calvin’s mom was a lying slut who was getting ready to take his dad for every penny he had, and Susie Derkins would probably turn out exactly the same way? Or reFarSide if Larson had developed some kind of insane grudge against cows and was remaking the old strips to either punish them excessively or justify their punishment?
A.
March 31st, 2009 at 11:28 pm [Reply]

I am shocked, shocked I say, that no one has yet commented to wonder what, exactly, the random-Asian-soldier is doing sitting on Sarge’s bunk, apparently waiting for him to get back with takeout. Does DADT not exist in Camp Swampy?
Little Guy
April 1st, 2009 at 8:36 am [Reply]

141: That’s Cpl Yo, who was introduced decades ago.
EcceNerdo
April 1st, 2009 at 10:02 am [Reply]

Josh, this comic is made for you:

http://www.penny-arcade.com/comic/2009/4/1/way-all-flesh/
Leo Rubinkowski
April 1st, 2009 at 3:47 pm [Reply]

The panel heading up April 1’s entry at “Mary Worth and Me” makes me wonder if there’s the possibility of Dancing Ted a la Dancing Dent…

http://www.jeffness.net/dancingdent/

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Metapost: Yet more self-plagiarism (plus COTW)

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