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‘Amish chic’ rocks NYC fashion world!

Apartment 3-G, 4/9/09

This, combined with this, makes me think that we should add “outfits that people wear while cleaning” to “drug paraphernalia” and “men who don’t look like the two or three dudes that every dude in Apartment 3-G looks like” on the list of things for which the Apartment 3-G team could use some reference photos. My alarm bells are pinging, of course, as to why Ruby might be in desperate and immediate need of some industrial-grade solvent. “Hey, look at that lady over there in that vacant lot! It sure looks like she’s burying someone in a shallow grave and then using some sort of potent cleanser to accelerate the corpse’s decay, doesn’t it? But that can’t be right — nobody dressed like a Colonial Williamsburg re-enactor could possibly be involved in anything shady!”

Family Circus, 4/9/09

I’m all for Billy rotting his mind with comic books, as he’ll clearly never amount to anything anyway, but can’t we expect him to pay attention to the details? As far as I know, Peter Parker doesn’t even have a mother; he was merely created spontaneously when Aunt May and Uncle Ben came down with nephewism, a common affliction in fictional characters. But maybe I’m being too hard on Billy; his larger point — that it would be amusing to see one of Peter’s loved ones beat him to death with a shoe or a rolled-up newspaper — is one that I can heartily endorse.

Mary Worth, 4/9/09

Oh, look, I guess I was wrong: it seems that Ted really is a scammer, and now we’re going to get to watch the Spanish Prisoner con in action, for certain limited definitions of “action.” Meanwhile, I’d just like to offer this bit of advice to noir-aspirant villains everywhere: though it is important to keep your victim in your sexual thrall in order to prevent her from thinking too much about the details of your fraudulent scheme, creepily drawing her onto your lap in public and gently caressing her cheek, all the while telling her how much she reminds you of your sister, is not the best way to go about doing that.

Shoe, 4/9/09

There is exactly one character in Shoe at whose antics I laugh in a non-ironic fashion, and that is Buzz, the elderly dyspeptic bird. Today, he’s spent hours wandering around aimlessly, angry and confused, because he’s old and losing his mind! Ha ha! Oh, I’m going to hell.

115 responses to “‘Amish chic’ rocks NYC fashion world!”

  1. Izzy
    April 9th, 2009 at 4:45 pm [Reply]

    I tried out Ted’s move once.
    I was slapped.

  2. Charlene
    April 9th, 2009 at 4:47 pm [Reply]

    “Something strong enough to make your eyes water” – wouldn’t that be Margo?

  3. Comrade Denny
    April 9th, 2009 at 4:48 pm [Reply]


    9CL: I’m not sure which Parallel Earth on which these people live, but it’s apparently one where ironically detached passive aggression conferred such huge survival advantage to homo sapiens that even the closest of friends are unable to interact in a straightforward, emotionally honest way.

    FC: It’s “arachnids,” you home-schooled, melon-headed twit! Spider-Man’s mom fucked an arachnid! Oh, and she’s dead. Thanks for bringing her up, jerk.

    Lockhorns: “…besides this old Space Invader’s arcade console, that is.”

    MW: “And it’s not at all creepy that mention how much you remind me of my sister while I stroke your face and – judging by the position of my torso – straddle you sidewise on this park bench.”

  4. Dragon of Life
    April 9th, 2009 at 4:48 pm [Reply]

    MW: Good lord, Ted, why did you go to all this effort, deception, conning, elaborate ruse-ing, self-degradation and humiliation,etc. etc… when you clearly have the power to drain minds by touch?!

  5. Miss Mandi
    April 9th, 2009 at 4:48 pm [Reply]

    Well, even if Spider Man’s parental figures WERE afraid of insects, it’d be cool because SPIDERS ARE ARACHNIDS. [/nerdrage]

  6. Cyco
    April 9th, 2009 at 4:48 pm [Reply]

    Also, spiders aren’t insects, which Billy would know if his Keane-approved science textbook had more actual facts and less of Jesus riding on dinosaurs.

  7. Comrade Denny
    April 9th, 2009 at 4:49 pm [Reply]

    Dammit! THIRD!

  8. One-eyed Wolfdog
    April 9th, 2009 at 4:50 pm [Reply]

    Tommie: [Leaves panel]
    Tommie: [Returns leading Mark Trail, nearly naked and obviously long-unwashed]
    Ruby: Uh, on second thought… how about a Black Russian?

  9. Cranky
    April 9th, 2009 at 4:50 pm [Reply]

    It’s an even better thing that spiders aren’t afraid of cathode-ray tubes, plasma, or liquid crystals.

  10. Marthas Rolling Pin
    April 9th, 2009 at 4:51 pm [Reply]

    #211y Dingo, hope you’re still checking in. Per your curiosity, here’s today’s A3G in a there-and-back English-Spanish-English romp through an online translator:


    TOMMIE: Ruby! What in the world!

    RUBY: It does not pay attention to the equipment, Tommie. I am in a cleaning I go of borrachera.

    RUBY, PANEL 2: And I worked of my cleaner. I need to borrow something enough hard to leak my of the eyes.

    TOMMIE: (bobble main)

    Ruby, I think for something enough hard, you need to be hablando with el Profesor, not la Tomasina.

  11. True Fable
    April 9th, 2009 at 4:52 pm [Reply]

    Reaching back to the ’70′s, Ted prepared to introduce Adrian to the Zipless Fuck.

  12. Judas Peckerwood
    April 9th, 2009 at 4:52 pm [Reply]

    Shoe: Buzz’s senility has also apparently progressed to the point where he has forgotten that he can fly.

  13. BigTed
    April 9th, 2009 at 4:52 pm [Reply]

    Ha-ha! That bird in that tree had to walk because he can’t find his car! Um… what? Oh, I get it — it’s funny-insane.

  14. Joey Chicago
    April 9th, 2009 at 4:52 pm [Reply]

    Snuffy Smith: On Elviney’s good side, there is no mouth or flounder-like set of eyes to be found, but, instead, face (vaguely) resembling that of a human’s.

  15. Rainbird
    April 9th, 2009 at 4:54 pm [Reply]

    Josh, I like your explanation of nephewism, which isn’t nearly as far fetched as his parents abandoning him to his aunt and uncle because they were both spies.

    Which has probably been written out, in the new continuity, and they were probably just on the lam for not paying taxes, or something mundane like that.

  16. BigTed
    April 9th, 2009 at 4:55 pm [Reply]

    “I need to borrow something strong enough to make your eyes water.” Given that outfit, I think it’s clear that cleaning has nothing to do with this — Ruby’s just run out of moonshine.

  17. Pozzo
    April 9th, 2009 at 4:55 pm [Reply]

    I guess “cigar dropping out of mouth” is Shoe’s equivalent of Curtis’ “character falling out of frame, with their feet sticking out four feet in the air.”

  18. Comrade Denny
    April 9th, 2009 at 5:00 pm [Reply]

    #16 – Big Ted:

    I just assumed that Ruby really needs industrial strength solvent for her meth lab. After all, The Magee wimmins need their speed!

    It also explains the cleaning binge.

  19. Portia
    April 9th, 2009 at 5:00 pm [Reply]

    I’m intrigued by the AJGLU’s concept of playing cards in today’s Archie. Rrrrace of Spades? Is the AJGLU powered by 4 parts 1905s-era computing machine and 1 part Scooby Doo?

  20. Rita Lake and the Special Goddesses
    April 9th, 2009 at 5:01 pm [Reply]

    So…Buzz has walked three miles, apparently without leaving the branches of a single tree? And he parked his car in the branches of the tree? And the birds in Treetops drive cars now? How much thought has the Shoe creative team given to its internal logic over the past twenty years or so?

  21. seismic-2
    April 9th, 2009 at 5:02 pm [Reply]

    Ruby is shooting a commercial for Old Dutch Cleanser, right? But then wouldn’t the company shooting the commercial actually have plenty of the product they’re selling? Of, life in A-3G is so confusing. Let’s hope the storyline switches to South Dakota again soon, so we can, um, cleanse out brains. Ruby, takeoff that ridiculous costume and grab your bandanna.

  22. Bender the Robot
    April 9th, 2009 at 5:05 pm [Reply]

    Can’t the bird man fly?? Oh yeah, we’ve been over this before…

  23. Muse of Ire
    April 9th, 2009 at 5:09 pm [Reply]

    Josh, you mean “outfits that people wear while cleaning,” not “where.”

    I wish I had something funny to add to that, but I’ll have to settle for the satisfaction of being the annoyingly pedantic one today (with apologies to Poteet).

  24. Comrade Denny
    April 9th, 2009 at 5:15 pm [Reply]

    #19 – Portia:

    “…4 parts 1905s-era computing machine…”

    You mean the AJGLU-3000 is really a Burrough’s Adding Machine? I think you’re onto something…

  25. Josh
    April 9th, 2009 at 5:16 pm [Reply]

    #23 Muse — Oopsie! Fixed. I actually find it interesting how often I accidently type homonyms — some kind of proof that spoken language is lurking underneath writing even when you aren’t speaking aloud.


  26. Beatrice
    April 9th, 2009 at 5:16 pm [Reply]

    Adrian’s preplexed expression may be from trying to recall when she and Ted became Wayland Flowers and Madame.

  27. Sarah
    April 9th, 2009 at 5:19 pm [Reply]

    Am I the only one who had the mental image of Spider-Man’s mom having sex with a spider, after viewing today’s FC installment? See, if she HAD been afraid of spiders, then he would have never been conceived/born.

  28. Anonymous
    April 9th, 2009 at 5:20 pm [Reply]

    I’m first? Wow!

  29. elfbot
    April 9th, 2009 at 5:20 pm [Reply]

    FC: I read that as Billy assuming that Spider-Man was the son of a woman and a spider.

  30. seismic-2
    April 9th, 2009 at 5:23 pm [Reply]

    # 25 Josh – yes, people often type words that are completely related to what they meant to write, simply because those incorrect words would sound correct if they were just read aloud. Accidental inclusions of these strange typos in written text are known as “odd homonym attacks”.

  31. Lucithana
    April 9th, 2009 at 5:26 pm [Reply]

    How I am the first one to comment on how creepy it is that Ted really wanted to get involved with Adrian because she reminded him of his sister? Where I come from that sort of thing isn’t something you bring up… ever.

  32. Jackuul
    April 9th, 2009 at 5:29 pm [Reply]

    Today’s MW was… disturbing. So “close” to his sister and such. Also it continues.

    I think the most diabolical thought process is that, rather than be a scam merchant of heart-break, he’s more of a Norman Bates character who will end up killing his sister, and wearing her clothes – then will try to kill his fiance` and finally go head to head with Mary Worth, who is in actuality the real Norman Bates.

    I can dream, can’t I?

  33. shortmikeshort
    April 9th, 2009 at 5:29 pm [Reply]

    I also took it to mean that Spider-Man’s mother had illicit congress with an insect.

  34. Duckman30
    April 9th, 2009 at 5:30 pm [Reply]

    A3G – “I need to borrow something strong enough to make your eyes water.”

    2% milk? A picture of kittens? Men who look and dress like they stepped out of a early 80′s Sears catalog?

  35. CanuckDownSouth
    April 9th, 2009 at 5:32 pm [Reply]

    In grad school, a few acquaintances held a proper luau, baking a whole juice-soaked burlap-wrapped pig with hot rocks in a shallow pit.

    A few of us made jokes that the luau preparations would be a really good way to hide that you were burying a body. :-)

    BF continues its slide into all-out foobery. If this week doesn’t end with the kid and dad seriously inconvenienced by her nutty “make the house look like nobody lives here” obsession and the guy coming by noticing and calling her on it, it will be official: we have a new FOOB and zombie-FOOB

    Does anybody else get the vibe that Adrian in MW is actually getting creeped out? I know it’s probably an art fail, but her body language is saying “I want out of here” – she’s turned even more away from the guy in panel 2 than in 1.

  36. Aging Hipster
    April 9th, 2009 at 5:34 pm [Reply]

    @27 Sarah — that was my read as well. I was trying to find a way to phrase it humorously. Something involving pedipalps and sperm sacks.

  37. Violet
    April 9th, 2009 at 5:35 pm [Reply]

    Billy’s winsomely ignorant remark was met with a slurred but fairly enthusiastic, “you got that right, kid” from the drunken derelict relieving himself in a nearby corner of the bus station in which his parents have abandoned him. The saddest part though, really, is that he’s not even reading Spider-Man.

  38. Rita Lake and the Special Goddesses
    April 9th, 2009 at 5:37 pm [Reply]

    Beginning with the orders to clean and the “pay for my ginormous pizza that I ordered at nine in the morning when I already had plans to meet my father” incident, I originally thought that this Tommie storyline was going to run along the lines of “Tommie begins to realize that Margo is a horrible roommate and attempts to force her to move out” (perhaps after Margo left a terse note commanding Tommie to pay rent for her). But it seems to be tending more toward “Tommie sits alone in her apartment and is accosted by a succession of random and increasingly outlandish people appearing at her door.”

    Now, it’s not that I’m not intrigued as to how much more ridiculous the costumes of Tommie’s remaining visitors can get, but we all know that Tommie is unbelievably boring, and each successive visitor will only reiterate that point further. I am praying for Margo to get back already so they can have a big, hilarious argument with lots of finger pointing and head bobbling and ludicrous accusations while the remaining B-listers from Tommie’s lineup (the Professor, Gabriella, Dr. Kelly looking for his kids, Nora Mills, Blaze, the neighbors, Luann carrying an armload of luggage and wearing a cowboy hat) look on and bobble their heads in horror. Because that’s the only way I can possibly see this sequence becoming interesting.

  39. Sarah
    April 9th, 2009 at 5:42 pm [Reply]

    #6 Cyco – That sounds like the most beautiful book in existence. So awesome.

  40. True Fable
    April 9th, 2009 at 5:46 pm [Reply]

    # 35 Canuck Down South – Aaarrugh! I was sincerely hoping it was just me and my anti-Foobery stance, but alas I can see that others see the Pattersonian traits in Between Foobs Friends.

    You know, I think I shall call it American Foob from now on. And yes, it sucks every bit as much as its Northern predecessor.

  41. JC Lisbon
    April 9th, 2009 at 5:48 pm [Reply]

    Apparently, Margo’s power is not limited to her room-mates. She can make ANYONE bathroom.

  42. It's time to pay the price
    April 9th, 2009 at 5:50 pm [Reply]

    Tommorow’s Spider-Man should have Spidey reading the comics and commenting: “Well it’s a good thing Billy’s parents weren’t afraid of Cantalopes!”. Although it’s probably just a pipe dream, as not only does Spidey lack the wit but I’m pretty sure he’s also illeterate.

  43. SF_Reader
    April 9th, 2009 at 5:51 pm [Reply]

    Has anyone ever actually seen a person clean while wearing an apron and a head schmatta? I’m 49 years old, have 4 immigrant grandparents, grew up in a blue collar world where some people I knew, earned a living by cleaning, and yet I’ve never seen anyone dress up like that.
    This must the artist’s way of letting us know that the character is cleaning and not watching TV or mastubating.
    Shouldn’t then there also be a similar code for using the bathroom? Instead of Margo walking out of a room waving her hand and screaming, “WHOA! DON’T GO IN THERE FOR A WHILE!” she could just walk into a room wearing her pooping outfit.

  44. nowukkers
    April 9th, 2009 at 5:51 pm [Reply]

    Ted’s sister looked like Frankenstein’s monster too?????

  45. TB Tabby
    April 9th, 2009 at 5:53 pm [Reply]

    Just thought I should mention that yes, Spider-Man did have parents.

  46. buckyswife
    April 9th, 2009 at 5:57 pm [Reply]

    You know, it’s revealing that I, like many posters, read FC today as suggesting that Peter Parker’s mother had conjugal relations with a spider. I just realized that that’s not the intent at all–that Billy means that Spiderman’s mom would have been afraid of HIM. (Yeah, arachnids, insects, okay.) Have I been converted to a dirty-minded comics-reading lens by this blog, so that I read even the most innocent comic as unspeakable filth? If so, then thank you, Josh.

  47. Evan
    April 9th, 2009 at 6:01 pm [Reply]

    Of course Ted’s a scammer. They met on the internet. The INTERNET!!

  48. seismic-2
    April 9th, 2009 at 6:02 pm [Reply]

    Yeah, if Peter Parker’s Mom had been afraid of (8-legged) “insects”, then she would have disappeared from his life and left him to be raised by his aunt and uncle. Oh, wait…

  49. One-eyed Wolfdog
    April 9th, 2009 at 6:02 pm [Reply]

    “It’s a good thing Anthony’s mother wasn’t afraid of milk toast.”

    “It’s a good thing Detective Tracy’s mother wasn’t afraid of Dick.”

    “It’s a good thing Les’s mother wasn’t afraid of creepy morbid perverts.”

  50. NoVan
    April 9th, 2009 at 6:05 pm [Reply]

    Regarding Shoe: HELL PARTY! We should totally get together in the eighth circle and live it up. Hurry up and RSVP, people, the list is filling!

  51. Red Greenback
    April 9th, 2009 at 6:10 pm [Reply]

    A3G: Wow, with her Monty Python “Gumby” character hat on, Ruby bears a striking resemblance to Mel Tormé!
    … And I’m not even wearing my Mel Tormé goggles.

  52. queek
    April 9th, 2009 at 6:11 pm [Reply]

    27 et al: 2 word answer: “Shelob/Frodo”

  53. Charterstoned
    April 9th, 2009 at 6:12 pm [Reply]

    A3G – Now all we need is for Carol Burnett to arrive in her cleaning woman outfit and we’ll have a show!

    MW – Ted looks like a Vulcan about to perform a mind meld: “My thought to your thought. Your thought to my thought. Our minds are growing closer…closer…our minds are one. I…am…Adrian. I…am…desperate…for…love. I…will…give…you…all…my…money…if…you…will…just…marry…me. I…love…the…internet. I…hope…you…will…love…me…like…a…sister. Wink…wink.”

  54. One-eyed Wolfdog
    April 9th, 2009 at 6:20 pm [Reply]

    “Vicki’s more than just a pet. When I’m sad, or lonely, she looks up and licks my face… one reason I fell in love with you was you remind me of her. I bet you need a special bowl to keep your hair out of your food, just like she does.”

  55. Talking Squirrel
    April 9th, 2009 at 6:36 pm [Reply]

    RMMRSA: Finally, a clue to where this bee-grinding marathon cruise has meandered! We can tell that they’ve crossed the Equator and entered the Southern Hemisphere, where norteamericano phones flipflop their signals, and voices come out of the mouthpiece instead of the earpiece.

    Obviously Rex is a first-time crosser, since he’s unaware of what’s happening. Quick, run tell Guido to fetch his trident — it’s time for a King Neptune party!

  56. Nekrotzar
    April 9th, 2009 at 6:36 pm [Reply]

    You remind me of my sister. Especially the way you both have detachable heads.

    The reason Peter Parker’s biological parents did not raise him is that there was something they wanted to watch on TV at the time.

  57. Joshua
    April 9th, 2009 at 6:37 pm [Reply]

    #35 CanuckDownSouth: What strip’s abbreviation is BF?

  58. AbbeyRoad
    April 9th, 2009 at 6:39 pm [Reply]

    FC: @27 Sarah: I did too. And then immediately thought “ewwwwwww.” And then proceeded to become ill.

  59. TheDiva
    April 9th, 2009 at 6:42 pm [Reply]

    As a children’s librarian, I have enough contact with boys Billy’s age to know the vast majority of them are aware that a) spiders are not insects and/or b) Peter Parker’s parents were well out of the picture when the whole spider thing went down. Which is just more evidence that the Keane kids are being kept as isolated as possible from the sinful world or are blindingly stupid, probably both.

  60. Lisa
    April 9th, 2009 at 6:46 pm [Reply]

    Did I miss something or is there no COTW post for last week?

  61. Ms.X
    April 9th, 2009 at 6:46 pm [Reply]

    FC: Okay. No kid on earth would say “insects” instead of the much more simple and common “bugs”. If you’re going to go to the trouble of using the technical-sounding word, why not use THE RIGHT WORD. It’s ARACHNIDS. GODDAMN IT KEANE!

    MW: Oh my God — Adrian is a BOBBLEHEAD! Either that, or she’s the girl from that one ghost story who can’t take off her turtle-neck or her head will fall off. Either way, I find her disturbing.

  62. Some Guy
    April 9th, 2009 at 6:50 pm [Reply]

    “Nephewism” is a vast improvement over this explanation of where Peter came from. Although Trouble is still better than Billy’s belief that Mrs Parker sleeps with insects.

  63. CanuckDownSouth
    April 9th, 2009 at 6:57 pm [Reply]

    #57-Joshua: Between Friends

    But you will only be infuriated by going to look at it (this week is insanely fooby)

  64. Daveyk
    April 9th, 2009 at 6:58 pm [Reply]

    If only Buzz were capable of lifting himself off the ground to obtain a higher vantage point from which to spot his car. But then he’d have to be a bird or something.

  65. Lolsworth
    April 9th, 2009 at 6:59 pm [Reply]

    Actually both Spider-Man’s parents were agents of SHIELD. At least in regular continuity they were; given Newspaper Spidey’s frankly depressing lameness it’s more likely that on this Earth they were a farmhand and, I don’t now, a bestial porn fluffer maybe.

    Also Trouble doesn’t count. Merely by existing it was a continuity nightmare so it was taken out.


  66. Winky's Spleen
    April 9th, 2009 at 7:03 pm [Reply]

    Ms.X #61 – Especially when “bugs” could easily be construed to include spiders, while “insects” absolutely can’t. I’m coming to subscribe to the theory advanced by others on this blog that grown-up Jeffy is going out of his way to make his big brother look as much like an odiously thuggish idiot as possible.

  67. Nekrotzar
    April 9th, 2009 at 7:10 pm [Reply]

    #66: grown-up Jeffy is going out of his way to make his big brother look as much like an odiously thuggish idiot as possible

    Isn’t that like going out of your way to make the sky look blue? It’s not much of a detour, is what I’m saying.

  68. seismic-2
    April 9th, 2009 at 7:16 pm [Reply]

    Margo’s written orders to Tommie “Clean up the apartment, mule!!!” carried such strong psychic vibrations that now everyone in the building is scrubbing their apartments down to the last mote of dust and flake of rust, lest Margo drop by to conduct inspection. And they didn’t even get to eat the pizza, or have the fun of picking off the olives.

  69. Agent 07
    April 9th, 2009 at 7:35 pm [Reply]

    Is it my imagination, or is Dr Morgan turning into The Phantom in today’s strip? And the Ghost Who’s Walker, what about him, shedding his stripy drawers for the past few weeks and all? Are they gonna swap jobs? I mean, everybody seems to be meeting up in the Gulf of Mexico after all. Croccos, mini-Harpos, my god, what can it all MEAN??

    Somebody help me out here. Which way did I come in?

  70. teddytoad
    April 9th, 2009 at 7:46 pm [Reply]

    #22– It’s kind of like Archie slipping in AJGLU-3000 references: Shoe knows what drives us nuts about the strip, and is just taunting us at this point. “Yeeaaaahh, I’m an frickin’ bird, and I spent allllllll day walking. I walked for three whole miles, and you know why? Because I happen to drive a car, too. And y’know fuckin’ what else? My friend here wears tennis shoes. Because he walks so frickin’ much. All this boils down to a big fat middle finger pointed at you, Josh; fuck you and your snarky friends on the bloggity blog.”

  71. bats :[
    April 9th, 2009 at 7:46 pm [Reply]

  72. Shermy Glamrocker
    April 9th, 2009 at 7:53 pm [Reply]

    You remind me of my sister … you remind me of my mother .. my sister … my mother … my sister … my mother .. *SLAP*

  73. DamienBixlan
    April 9th, 2009 at 7:57 pm [Reply]

    What’s with MW and incest? I’m beginning to wonder if Jeff and Mary aren’t relatives. Or maybe not. They’d probably have more sex that way.

  74. Agent 07
    April 9th, 2009 at 8:07 pm [Reply]

    #71 Thanks bats:[, I’m really glad to see somebody’s taking this seriously. You have no idea how I worry…

  75. AndyL
    April 9th, 2009 at 8:13 pm [Reply]

    A surprising number of Mary Worth strips seem to include romantic dialog wherein one lover is compared to the other lover’s sibling. Astonishingly, this always seems to have the desired romantic effect.
    If I was Karen Moy’s sibling, I would be really weirded out. … Unless I was into that.

  76. The Quotable Margo
    April 9th, 2009 at 8:24 pm [Reply]

    A-3G – (cue Carol Burnett):

    I’m so glad we had this time together,
    Just to have a laugh, or sing a song.
    Seems we just got started and before you know it
    Comes the time we have to say, ‘So long.’

  77. Digger
    April 9th, 2009 at 8:31 pm [Reply]

    Given Adrian’s blank stare in panel two, I’d say she is working a scam of her own, which is that she is in fact just a blow-up doll.

  78. sugarpie
    April 9th, 2009 at 8:47 pm [Reply]

    Dingo Hope you have a gratifying vacation. Guido’s brother, Celestino, operates a smoothie palapa on the beach near the Hotel Intercontinental-tell him Sugarpie said hi! (Avoid the smoothies and ask for ‘La Dunsmore’. The week will fly by.)

  79. Mary Worth Discussion Group
    April 9th, 2009 at 9:09 pm [Reply]

    Where is Terry Bryson?

  80. tb4000
    April 9th, 2009 at 9:10 pm [Reply]

    As a massive comic book geek, Billy’s mangling of the Spider-Man lore just kills me inside.

  81. seismic-2
    April 9th, 2009 at 9:14 pm [Reply]

    # 69 Agent 07 – Croccos, Harpos, and Guidos, oh my! Next week – Little Sarah joins the Flying Monkeys.

  82. Powers
    April 9th, 2009 at 9:14 pm [Reply]

    For Jeff’s sake, people, his name is BIZ, not BUZZ. =)

  83. Poteet
    April 9th, 2009 at 9:27 pm [Reply]

    # 23 Muse of Ire — You were quite un-annoying. Anal is impressed, and salutes you.

    # 71 bats — Thanks for your excellent yesterthread Rex alumni entry. The last two lines made me spit water.

    Dingo, if you happen to see this, hope you’ll have a wonderful warm time!

  84. Donkey Hotey
    April 9th, 2009 at 9:29 pm [Reply]

    Drabble: WTF is a “ventriloquist’s dunny?” Is the lettering being outsourced to a non-English-speaking country?

  85. Donkey Hotey
    April 9th, 2009 at 9:29 pm [Reply]

    Tomorrow: Donkey Hotey learns how to close HTML tags.

  86. Carly
    April 9th, 2009 at 9:32 pm [Reply]

    It seems to me that this isn’t the first time Mary Worth siblings have had something…interesting…going on. Wasn’t there another plot where that was the case, too?

    that it would be amusing to see one of Peter’s loved ones beat him to death with a shoe or a rolled-up newspaper

    I wonder what it says to me that that isn’t where my mind went. Billy did say “wasn’t” afraid of spiders, and since he wasn’t Spider-Man when she died my interpretation was that he thinks Peter is some kind of disturbing half-man, half-spider. In which case this is extra lame because even the most casual fan knows Spider-Man’s origin story.

    But any way you cut it, Billy apparently doesn’t actually know that much about Spider-Man. Or Jef Keane doesn’t. (Psst, it’s another comic in the paper. Read it occasionally.)

    And I’m sure what Josh loves to see are two hated comics colliding. Next week: Peter reads Family Circus in his PJs at 2 pm.

  87. thurston unger
    April 9th, 2009 at 9:38 pm [Reply]

    A3G: Ruby, asking for something that’ll make your eyes water while holding (presumably) a broomstick is just an invitation to a joke that eludes me here. Anyone?

    Family Circus: If only Marmaduke would crash through the fourth wall and eat this melon headed abomination, I would absolve Brad Anderson of, well, everything.

    MW: That background looks positively Mark Trail-ian. So, Mary, if you’re lurking in the woods, waiting to meddle, there may be a large and endangered carnivore waiting, too. Waiting to fuck you up.

  88. Bret
    April 9th, 2009 at 9:41 pm [Reply]

    Of course, as we all know, Peter’s parents are dead. And also spies.

    Also they were accused of being traitors (when really it was the Red Skull behind the crimes).

    Also they were robots somehow.

    Ah, comics.

  89. Jeff
    April 9th, 2009 at 9:45 pm [Reply]

    Happy to follow up with a report that Slylock Fox is leading the comics survey that I previously posted!

  90. Black Drazon
    April 9th, 2009 at 9:45 pm [Reply]

    At first I, too, was surprised at Billy’s lack of a superhero story so saturated in American culture that it’s practically common knowledge, but then I remembered that the Keane Compound wouldn’t dare allow mention of nontraditional family units like The Gays, single parent households, and aunts and uncles taking in their orphaned nephew.

  91. queek
    April 9th, 2009 at 9:53 pm [Reply]

    mostly OT, but I am still giggling after watching Josh Fan and former Wonkette editor Ani Marie Cox on the Rachael Maddow Show, discussing the current efforts to hold “teabagging” parties on April 15. How those two managed to keep (mostly) straight-faced through that bit is quite beyond me.

    further information on teabagging can be found on the internet, . . . .

  92. kurt
    April 9th, 2009 at 9:53 pm [Reply]

    MW: Does the pose bring memories of Bella and other vampire movies?

  93. Mars
    April 9th, 2009 at 10:24 pm [Reply]

    #88 Bret: Spider-Man is half-man, half-spider, and half-ROBOT?

    …..wait, this actually explains a lot.

  94. Joe Blevins
    April 9th, 2009 at 10:26 pm [Reply]

    Wow! So much to comment upon here!

    A3G: Having Ruby show up dressed as the washerwoman from The Carol Burnett Show only serves to remind us how much Tommie herself already looks like Carol Burnett. Pairing a comedienne with a character played by that same comedienne? That’s some seriously meta, Charlie Kaufman stuff there! Like a buddy comedy pairing, say, Martin Short and Ed Grimley.

    Meanwhile, Ruby says she’s run out of cleaning fluid and wants “something strong enough to make your eyes water!” Clearly, she’s given up on cleaning and just wants to drown her sorrows in a bottle of Night Train Express and some Mexican telenovelas.

    FC: Awhile back, I started suspecting that the drones at Paws, Inc. were writing Garfield strips hoping to see them made into Garfield Minus Garfield strips. Now, I’m beginning to suspect Jeff Keane is writing Family Circus cartoons he hopes will be skewered in Scott Meets Family Circus. There’s so much Scott could bluntly explain to Billy here: “Look, kid, Spider-Man’s mom is dead. Spider’s aren’t insects anyway. He doesn’t actually even look like a spider. He looks like a man in a costume, so the fear-of-bugs thing wouldn’t come into play. Oh, and none of this stuff is real, and you’re an idiot.”

    MW: Oh, God, Ted’s going to turn out to be a vampire. Think! Have you ever seen him in broad daylight? This is going to be Mary Worth‘s attempt to cash in on the vampire trend. Look at that last panel — it’s Twilight in pantsuits! True Blood for the Ensure crowd!

  95. Lettuce
    April 9th, 2009 at 10:33 pm [Reply]

    Josh, clearly the A-3G team is just responding to the Japanese craze of fetishistic maids. Not content to “follow” this perverted fad, they’re instead taking it to a whole new level — that is, surgical witch maids, who spookily fly around at night on broomstick, in scrubs and aprons, madly cleaning, amputating and exposing their scanty undies to everyone they meet.

  96. kahvigirl
    April 9th, 2009 at 10:33 pm [Reply]

    #35 et al: Actually the creator of Between Friends lives in Canahduh (see her blog). I liked this strip years ago which makes its (potential) slide into FOOBism even more irritating. But at least her blog isn’t nearly as self-serving as anything on the FOOB website (what could be) and she admits to making mistakes/lame strips once in a while.

  97. Dagger
    April 9th, 2009 at 10:44 pm [Reply]

    What if Billy is commenting on Spider-Man comic instead of the comic book? Would that mean that it’s good that his parents weren’t afraid of something that’s not very interesting, nor the least bit intimidating?

  98. Mibbitmaker
    April 9th, 2009 at 11:01 pm [Reply]

    Being late to the y-thread Dingo Comic Strip Closed Captioning Party (and, hey, closed captioning has the same initials as Comics Curmudgeon! hmmm…), I have to include one I thought of that will be stranded because it was a last-thread in-joke, but I gotta do it anyway…

    MT, cc’ed: “That is the thing that I have firm convictions of took place. I’m a potato.”


    Today, I went into a used bookstore in town that I hadn’t been in for a while, and I saw the Fantagraphics 1967-68 compilation of Peanuts there. This book that’s marked for original sale as $28.95 I was able to buy for…. $4! Other than a slight “happy birthday scrawl on an unimportant early page (just showing grass on otherwise blank color), it’s in perfect condition.

    This comes, amazingly, not long after me getting the Looney Tunes Golden Collection v. 2, also used and in great condition, at a local used CD chain store for $20, saving $30!. I just don’t get this kinda luck, folks.

  99. Sheila Sternwell
    April 9th, 2009 at 11:30 pm [Reply]

    Hey, has anyone mentioned that spiders aren’t insects yet? Because it’s an important point to note!

  100. DrPill
    April 9th, 2009 at 11:42 pm [Reply]

    Prediction: Tommie will toss the “stuff to make your eyes water” into Joe’s face when he finds out Vicki has taken the kids and he goes off the deep end. Foreshadowing, you see.
    Explanation: The April 8 Gil Thorpe didn’t really happen. It was just Gil’s brain hallucinating the two bounces and the catch in the hat. That hallucination started the moment of the first bounce on 4-7 and Gil’s butt hitting the ground 4-9. As he sat with his brain going beezwackers, he put the ball in his hat before the other person reached him to have roof he wasn’t going nuts. See? Simple, really.

  101. Amateur
    April 9th, 2009 at 11:49 pm [Reply]

    FC: All I could think of was the old expression “His mother was frightened by . . .” to explain someone’s odd appearance (as with the Elephant Man: “His mother was frightened by an elephant”).

    I think I read too many old books.

  102. True Fable
    April 10th, 2009 at 12:29 am [Reply]

    #96 kahvigirl – So it’s still Between Foobs, then? My God, poor Canada; represented by two comics that set people’s teeth on edge. Looks like we may have to storm the border again the way we did back during the Shauna-Marie wedding, and cause a riot.

    Those were the days, when ‘Mudgeons loaded up in various transports, and Spider-Brick hopped the wrong freight train and ended up everywhere BUT Milborough, and Chennux led us all in battle. I got my first Aquanet 55 flamethrower and torched the outdoor tent. Ah, cherished memories.

    I say, let’s all go call on Susan at once and watch her just melt down into a puddle of whine and goo, just to keep in practice. We’ll want to wait for Dingo to get back, of course.

  103. bats :[
    April 10th, 2009 at 12:38 am [Reply]


    A3G: ensemble aside, is Ruby the only truly “normal” person in this strip?

    FC: ah, what times are these when Good Friday arrives, and Mama Thel doesn’t shove a crucifix in one of her unholy spawn’s face?

    FW: bwahahahahahahahahahaha!
    And the Legend of Lester, the One-Trick Pony, begins…

    JP: dang! Is the CEO going to be that hottie from the party? No, she’s supposed to be in Barcelona or somewhere…

    MT: these bozos need to run into Lee Fallon and learn how real menacing is done.
    Or run into Rex and Niki. That’s pretty scary, too.

    Mutts: jelly beans…rabbit raisins…it’s all good.

    Phantom: and again I say, Bwahahahahahaha!

    RMMD: awww.

  104. Cranky
    April 10th, 2009 at 12:40 am [Reply]

    Wait, wait. The Friday April 10 Gil Thorp indicates the storyline is going to turn into something like this:

    “Hi honey, what’s new?”
    “I have a possible concussion.”
    “I wasn’t really asking. Hey, I found a girl who can throw a softball!”
    “Everything’s blurry and I’m losing peripheral vision.”
    “She’s a former shot-put star.”
    “Blood is pooling behind my eyes.”
    Gil! Why is everything about you?”

    If this is true, and I hope it is, then suddenly Mrs. Thorp is giving me those special feelings down in my bathing suit area, feelings that are usually reserved for Margo.

  105. bats :[
    April 10th, 2009 at 12:49 am [Reply]

    And just in case you’ve forgotten:

    (Happy Holiday of the season, if you choose to celebrate one! Just having all the snow gone has to be a relief for a buncha folks.)

  106. Lisa
    April 10th, 2009 at 1:12 am [Reply]

    A sneak peek at the Friday A3G reveals that Ruby thinks she is Marlon Brando….. stay tuned and watch that final dialog box.

  107. Poewar
    April 10th, 2009 at 1:16 am [Reply]

    Electro seemed surprised that Spiderman found him. I guess that makes two of us.

  108. NoahSnark
    April 10th, 2009 at 1:26 am [Reply]

    Billy should be grateful that his own mother isn’t afraid of insects. Were it not for her unwholesome attraction to dung beetles he would have never been born.

  109. True Fable
    April 10th, 2009 at 1:36 am [Reply]

    Sam Driver, Chick Magnet What do you want to bet that the CEO is Crazy Mad Cheerleader Mom? It’s time for Sam to get all the ladies hot and bothered! It’s in his contract – well, he is a good lawyer, they say.

    Meddling Heights Adrian the Human Windshield Wiper, goes from doubt to stupid trust with one fell swoop.

    MG & Grimmy The Chocolate Bunnies Week is as looked-for to me as Kwanzaa Week in Curtis or comics featuring a goat, or Judge Parker any day of the week. Today was no exception and I laughed good and loud.

  110. Steve the Pocket
    April 10th, 2009 at 1:44 am [Reply]

    B.C. Aha! See, THIS is how you write a comic about cavemen. I can’t remember the last time this strip’s premise has actually been taken into any serious account. But I’ll try to remember today as the day the timer was last reset.

    Curtis: Now where’s my fifty bucks, Perry?

    FW: I’d like to thank the editor for channeling the audience’s reaction.

    H&J: Wait, so she’s aging backwards?

  111. Mibbitmaker
    April 10th, 2009 at 2:04 am [Reply]

    Good Friday:

    9CL: Even Edda is sick of Edda’s crap.

    A3G: Ruby, you storyline interrupter, that may be the 4,000,000,000,000,000th lame parody of that furshlugginer “Apocalypse Now” line ever. If you can’t come up with something better than that, just let the stupid retcon commense, willya??

    BBlues: That offspring exploitation will come up in the divorce proceedings.

    Curtis: She’s evil — EVIL![/TV's Frank]

    ReFOOB: All those satirical soap parody names, yet Lynn didn’t change “General Hospital”? That explains alot.

    FW: Of COURSE it COULDN’T be ANYTHING ELSE! (said like Lewis Black)

    GT: “Me? — oh, I’m just feeling for a major artery. Wha’? …No reason, Gil…”

    JP: Good. Something needs to be interesting in this storyline! (Jeez, not a good time to have this strip’s being dropped from a paper be reconsidered, is it?)

    MT: Yeah, these clowns are SITTING DUCKS. Right? …Right…?

    Dog That’s Just Too Darn Big!*: “Well, then, Madame Zelda, do you do dog claws and sharp, jagged teeth slashing a major artery, then?”
    *Tribute to early Letterman’s Giant Door Knob.

    MW: Okay, Adrian is a STUPID, MORONIC IDIOT! Hey, Pencil’stache, take her for all she’s worth! She deserves it by now!!

    Ghost-Who-Will-Now-Be-Unfairly-Accused: Oh, great, another way-too-easily jealous woman in the comics! Never enough sexist stereotypes, are there, funnies?

    ZtP: Say, El nino… didn’t I see you in “Rex Morgan” recently…..?

  112. flodnak
    April 10th, 2009 at 2:17 am [Reply]

    Just for the record, I grew up in an area with lots of Amish families, and I believe I can safely say that no self-respecting Amish woman would go out in public looking like such a frump.

  113. dale
    April 10th, 2009 at 4:12 am [Reply]

    Ammonia, hydrochloric acid, and lye are all used for cleaning. Lye doesn’t have any real odor, but if you spilled on the wrong body part you could cry.

    Also, why did the woman bring her mop along? To show that she really was going to use the stuff and not sell it or she’s just stupid.

  114. Larry McAwful
    April 10th, 2009 at 9:16 am [Reply]

    Am I the only one who thinks that Ruby looks an awful lot like Tommie? Does this mean that all of Apartment 3-G is descended from couplings of the men of the house and the help? Margo’s mother was the maid, Tommie’s mother was the maid, and Luann’s mother was a custodian at the Corn Palace in Mitchell, for a twist.

  115. Howlin' Wolf
    April 10th, 2009 at 2:57 pm [Reply]

    It’s most likely that Billy presumes Spider-Man to be the product of a hideous union between a human woman and some chittering monstrosity. And that’s perfectly understandable, what with all the unspeakable rites perpetrated on the Keane Kompound, calling forth the chitinous minions of Shub-Niggurath to copulate with Ma Keane. Oh yes, Billy knows about the secret basement where his horrible little half-siblings dwell.

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