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MORAL PANIC RIPPED FROM YESTERDAY’S HEADLINES!

Gil Thorp, 6/18/09

I’m kind of shocked that the word “sexting” has actually made an appearance in a Gil Thorp word balloon, but I’m not at all shocked by the context, in which Dr. Pearl (is this her first appearance under the new artist?) appears to be half-assedly principaling, since she presides over Milford High, America’s most half-assedly educated school. “But Dr. Pearl, I’m pretty sure this doesn’t constitute sext–” “I’m sorry, didn’t you hear what I said? This term appeared in major newsweeklies that my doctor leaves in his waiting room! I just learned the word last week and I’m going to use it, by God.”

Meanwhile, the prospect of Bill Hawkins being charged with a felony for not actually forwarding a totally non-revealing picture of his girlfriend in a cardboard bikini made me confront how little I actually like him. The problem with this story is that it revolves around the battle for the baseball team’s soul between Shep Trumbo, who is an unlikeable douchebag, and Bill Hawkins, who is noble and upright and good and also wholly unlikeable. I suppose if I had to choose which one I’d rather see go to jail, it would be Shep, but really if the whole team could just be dragged off by Milford’s jackbooted thugs and thrown in a dark hole where none of us would ever have to see them again, I’d be a happy guy.

Slylock Fox, 6/18/09

This is definitely the most intriguing Six Difference drama I’ve seen in some time. Let’s start with the obvious: the fellow in the chair has a charming mustache, the sinister lunatic in the child’s drawing does not. This implies two separate potential background narratives. Either chair-baldy is the kid’s stepfather, and, just in time for father’s day, he’s being passive-aggressively presented with a drawing of the absent bio-father; or the child has decided that the terrible voice in his head, the one that tells him to burn and kill, is his “real” father, and has drawn a picture of what he thinks this demonic force would look like: something like the man everyone says is his father, but with an evil grin and a glazed, murderous look in his eyes. Either way, the kid’s vacant smile and stab-ready crayon are things to worry about.

Family Circus, 6/18/09

Speaking of multiple wonderful possibilities, are we meant here to believe that Big Daddy Keane is actually trying to offer a skateboarding clinic, only to fail utterly and humiliate himself? Or has Billy just left his skateboard out in the middle of the floor, resulting in an accidental tumble, spun as “look, Daddy’s showing me how to skateboard!” in the usual self-serving darnedest-things-saying way of the Keane Kids? Either way, Daddy is going to be terribly injured, and this is pretty much the greatest Family Circus week ever.

136 responses to “MORAL PANIC RIPPED FROM YESTERDAY’S HEADLINES!”

  1. Nate
    June 18th, 2009 at 4:13 pm [Reply]

    I think that the kid drew a photo of the Vengeful Demon he has conjured forth, which is now poised to strike at his step-father (possibly Mario in pajamas?) from under the chair. Look at the eyes! IT COMES.

  2. Aesop
    June 18th, 2009 at 4:13 pm [Reply]

    The term “sexting” appear in this Gil Thorp storyline doesn’t surprise me, but I didn’t think they’d introduce the term in a completely irrelevant situation that doesn’t even constitute “sexting.”

  3. Bootsy
    June 18th, 2009 at 4:15 pm [Reply]

    I think that’s Bob Weber, Jr.’s version of Marvin

  4. PeteMoss
    June 18th, 2009 at 4:16 pm [Reply]

    SF – My real Dad is an astronaut and a ninja and he doesn’t like you.

  5. Bootsy
    June 18th, 2009 at 4:16 pm [Reply]

    Also, Number 3 unscrambles to say “A perp”.

  6. Alex
    June 18th, 2009 at 4:16 pm [Reply]

    My theory on the six differences: the man in the chair is a therapist, who is vaguely self-satisfied that the child has produced such a rich interpretive source from the “draw your parents” exercise.

  7. BigTed
    June 18th, 2009 at 4:17 pm [Reply]

    It’s interesting that one of the answers is “pants.” Doesn’t that just draw attention to the fact that in both drawings, the father isn’t wearing any?

  8. Dragon of Life
    June 18th, 2009 at 4:18 pm [Reply]

    Judging by the motion lines and dimensions of that skateboard, there is no possible way it missed Billy’s looming skull. And the kid just stood there. And took it. No WONDER Bil’s tumbling backwards. His numb expression and ragdoll-limp flop reveal that Billy’s just killed him with mind bullets for discovering his inhuman nature. Tomorrow’s strip: “Who killed Daddy?” “NOT ME!”

  9. Comcis Fan
    June 18th, 2009 at 4:18 pm [Reply]

    Beetle Bailey: Nearly 59 years after their arrival at Camp Swampy, Beetle and his comrades discover the business of the Army.

  10. PeteMoss
    June 18th, 2009 at 4:19 pm [Reply]

    thorp(e)

    Maybe there’s a more appropriate term better suited to this plot. PG-thirteening? Textitlating? Annoying?

  11. Hogenmogen
    June 18th, 2009 at 4:21 pm [Reply]

    I actually like Family Circus this week – check that – L O V E the runts this week. But I also pause and think that the real/fictitious/meta Keane artist is thinking “Smooth lines? Proportion? Perspective? Various appendages left off? Eh, whatever. ‘Billy Week’ lets me coast on all that.” So I say “Bring in a touch of edginess and you can keep it up for a year, bro.”

    I don’t think the skateboard has been left there accidentally. I’m reading in a darker “Billy plotted for Daddy to fall on his ass.” Look how he is right there, watching, smiling, laughing.

  12. Comcis Fan
    June 18th, 2009 at 4:21 pm [Reply]

    Zits: I don’t want to know this much about Jeremy’s kissing style.

  13. Gold-Digging Nanny
    June 18th, 2009 at 4:22 pm [Reply]

    #3 Bootsy — The six differences between this kid and Marvin are:
    1) No poop jokes.
    2) A modicum of intelligence, shown by the ability to spell “Dad.”
    3) No poop jokes.
    4) No thought-ballooned conversation or 1337-speak.
    5) He smiles, instead of wearing a heavy-lidded, joyless expression.
    6) No poop jokes.

  14. Little Guy
    June 18th, 2009 at 4:27 pm [Reply]

    GT: ….and that’s why I get my trendynews from Fark, Slashdot, and Comics Curmungeon.

  15. Comrade Denny
    June 18th, 2009 at 4:29 pm [Reply]

    Finish That Thought Thursday:

    BC: “… But I find the fact that women find your intellect attractive too threatening, so I had to physically embarrass you to prove that you are a worthless weakling and that I’m the alpha male in this band.”

    Cranks: “…But since the idea that anyone would or even could be my friend is absurd on its face, I just want to take someone down with me.”

    Curtus: “…And my teacher made me nuzzle her breasts yesterday. It was awesome.”

    MW: “…You – you didn’t used canned salmon, did you Mary?”

    Ghost-Who-Whatever: “…Wait, I mean unitard, the Unknown Commander’s unitard, not uniform.”

    Pluggers: “…Because my wife’s dead, the kids never call, my former coworkers hate my guts, the neighbors won’t talk to me ever since the incident with little Timmy in ’92, and I’m alone, so, so very alone.”

    RxMD: “…Like harvest organs so we rich can prolong our already too long, idle, meaningless existences.”

    S-M: “NO! … My camera’s not pointing there!”

  16. Hogenmogen
    June 18th, 2009 at 4:29 pm [Reply]

    Hey, isn’t it called “sexting” because it combines “sex” with “texting”? Except that in this instance, it’s a photo.

    But if the photo was taken of Molly without Molly’s knowledge or permission, and spread around, it would probably be unethical, though not exactly illegal – except she explicitly requested the photo – and that’s about the only thing explicit about this whole mountain-out-of-mole-hill story line.

  17. Uncle Lumpy
    June 18th, 2009 at 4:30 pm [Reply]

    Say what you will about Gil Thorp, Slylock Fox is a cesspool of nroacy!

    Why won’t somebody never think of the children?

  18. me
    June 18th, 2009 at 4:31 pm [Reply]

    DtM – Meanwhile, next door: “Mrs Wilson, your trying to seduce me. Aren’t you?”

  19. Comrade Denny
    June 18th, 2009 at 4:38 pm [Reply]

    While on the road to Camp Swampy, hurroo, hurroo -
    While on the road to Camp Swampy, hurroo, hurroo -
    While on the road to camp Swampy,
    A stick in me hand and a drop in me eye,
    A buxom Buxley I heard cry,
    “Oh Beetle, I hardly knew ye.”

  20. Digger
    June 18th, 2009 at 4:38 pm [Reply]

    I’m guessing the Six Differences kid went to the Billy Keane School of Father Illustration.

    Not only has “sexting” been in Time and Newsweek, but I believe Ted Confey wrote an article about it for Nation’s Geography Magazine.

  21. Sed
    June 18th, 2009 at 4:38 pm [Reply]

    16: Yes, but I think “phoxting” wouldn’t run in a family strip.

  22. Calico
    June 18th, 2009 at 4:39 pm [Reply]

    Dammit, I hate it when I fall bull-eye right onto my Coccyx.

  23. Chyron HR
    June 18th, 2009 at 4:41 pm [Reply]

    Crimedoers’ Textbook – Supervillains! Has your bank robbery gone south, with capture imminent? Try repeated counts of attempted murder! What are they going to do, up your sentence from 20 years to the death penalty?

  24. Calico
    June 18th, 2009 at 4:42 pm [Reply]

    Dr. Pearl, repressive old cousin of Mary Worth.
    But, has Sexting been featured on Page Six? That’s the true stamp of credibility for all print news.

  25. Stroker Ace
    June 18th, 2009 at 4:48 pm [Reply]

    Zits – With a tongue like that Jeremy could have many girlfriends…and boyfriends.

  26. Mac
    June 18th, 2009 at 4:48 pm [Reply]

    I think that the child is actually from the evil mirror universe, where his father does have a mustache. Remember, spare the agonizer, spoil the child.

  27. Frozen
    June 18th, 2009 at 4:48 pm [Reply]

    Today’s Baby Blues sums up the comic pretty well. Describing the often-humorous daily events that occur when you have two (three, do they have three kids now? When did that happen?) children. Like when your infant girl takes pictures of you in the shower and your toddler son accidentally sees them. I remember when that happened to me as a kid. Jesus, why did you make me remember, Baby Blues?

  28. DAS
    June 18th, 2009 at 4:48 pm [Reply]

    IIRC, they’ve charged the girls who “texted” such pictures (again revealing less than is revealed on the beach) to their boyfriends with felonies.

    So frighteningly enough, what’s happening it GT isn’t actually as ridiculous as yesterday’s headlines!

  29. Black Drazon
    June 18th, 2009 at 4:49 pm [Reply]

    As usual, I’m not 100% sure of the identities of the 100x zoomed facial features of Gil Thorp, but I think Dr. Pearl is talking to Mr. and Mrs. Coach Thorp. “Now look, you two, we all know the human body is an eldrich, terrifying thing, but as gym teachers I figure you two are the closest I have on staff to understanding it. Please deal with the charges of mild nudity that have been brought to my attention while I sit here learning new portmanteaus from the Internet. Begone!”

  30. Gareth
    June 18th, 2009 at 4:51 pm [Reply]

    Family circus leaves me with two main questions: Did Billy kill his father on purpose, and if so, how creepy will the continuation of this Greek tragedy be?

  31. Eldaglass
    June 18th, 2009 at 4:56 pm [Reply]

    GT: Apparently, Molly isn’t the only one who won’t talk to Bill Hawkins anymore. The other students seem to be studiously focusing on their burgers while Bill monologues. Even “mullet-kid” won’t make eye contact.

  32. Jeremiah
    June 18th, 2009 at 4:58 pm [Reply]

    GT – You’ve got to hand it to Dr. Pearl; she knows her staff. They don’t know popular terms or read so she’s going pretty slow. However, all is for naught since Gil’s contemplative stare confirms that he still hasn’t quite figured out “sex” yet – much less “sexting.”

    MW – Add “unusually strong wrists” to Delilah’s list of accomplishments (right under: “is prodigy”). I’ve never seen anyone hold an entire galvanized bucket full of the severed fingers of children at quite that angle.

  33. Donald the Anarchist
    June 18th, 2009 at 5:02 pm [Reply]

    GT It’s not that the photo was taken, it’s that Bill started spanking it as soon as he saw it, discomfiting everyone else in the locker room.

    SFx “Apparently my son sees me as a total psychopath. Now I have an excuse to punish him. It’s a good day.”

    FC I always felt the worst thing about being Chevy Chase would be that any potentially fatal accident you had would be considered hilarious by anyone watching. Or you could just have Billy as a son.

  34. Gary D
    June 18th, 2009 at 5:05 pm [Reply]

    with Dad injured, I can’t wait for the next series of panels as Billy draws what he found on Dad’s computer while he was upstairs nursing his back injury. Monday: “I don’t think Mommy likes all of the bookmarks on Daddy’s internet browser” Tuesday: “Daddy likes to store videos on his computer that are icky. There sure are lots of movies of girls kissing and stuff” ; Wednesday: “I don’t think I was supposed to erase this spreadsheet where Daddy keeps a log of his real earnings”; Thursday: “Daddy said that whatever I do, I shouldn’t show these transcripts I found to Chris Hansen”; Friday: “Daddy falling down the steps and hurting his back again as he chases the policeman who took his computer”

  35. Chicago Bob
    June 18th, 2009 at 5:08 pm [Reply]

    SF: I’m pretty sure the Six Differences kid has some sort of Shining-like psychic power, and the picture is his prediction of his father’s Shining-like transformation. The Kubricky white background is the clue.

    GT: Dr. Pearl has really aged, hasn’t she? I guess hangin’ with those Satellite O’ Love guys were keeping her young all those years.

  36. Comrade Denny
    June 18th, 2009 at 5:11 pm [Reply]

    #23 Chyron HR:

    Crimedoers’ Handbook, Ch. 2: When your escape is blocked, try creating a distraction with the very booty you were attempting to heist. That way, you can claim that you didn’t really steal anything and that you were just funnin’.

  37. Baka Gaijin
    June 18th, 2009 at 5:14 pm [Reply]

    #12 Comcis Fan: Personally, I’ve been taking memory repression lessons for just this situation. I do NOT want to remember this week’s Zits “with extra creepiness.” I wonder if roofies could erase this from my mind?

  38. One-eyed Wolfdog
    June 18th, 2009 at 5:14 pm [Reply]

    Dr. Pearl should hold a student hostage, if necessary, until someone higher up in the administration agrees to buy her a real nameplate, as opposed to a piece of scrap tin marked up by an illiterate metal shop student with a malfunctioning Dremel Tool.

    Also: Is it just me, or did the partially-eaten burger from panel 1 somehow materialize on her desk in panel 2? Is that what this is going to come to? Suspected sext-abetters have their food whisked magically away from them until they break down and confess? This strip is weird.

  39. Spectrum Bear
    June 18th, 2009 at 5:22 pm [Reply]

    I just LOVE this line: “‘Sexting’ is a serious problem. It’s been in Time and Newsweek.”

    Yeah, so has “Obama May Be the Anti-Christ.” Doesn’t mean I have to take it seriously.

    Also, as somebody else has pointed out, some GIRLS have been charged with felonies too: child pornography charges for sending pictures of themselves. One of these days, masturbation by a person under 16 is going to lead to a statutory rape charge.

  40. Alan's Addiction
    June 18th, 2009 at 5:23 pm [Reply]

    I guess that we can only get so much “Gil and Kaz hijinks” before the strip makes a desperate attempt to portray commentary on a problem that was highlighted in major papers a few months ago. But I have a few questions for that great moral decider of our age; Dr. Pearl. First, how does taking photos of your underage girlfriend in a clunky, cardboard-cutout two-piece constitute “sexting?” I saw the strips in question and there are breakfast cereal logos that are far more sexual (and appealing, I might add) than what was portrayed in the strip. Secondly, if we want to talk about felonies; does Dr. Pearl know that two of her coaches are knowingly attempting to give the entire baseball team hyperthermia? Not to mention last spring’s date-rape drug salsa. But none of these scandals will receive any discussion time, as they haven’t made headlines this year. If Gil Thorp’s writers continue on their current path of randomly selecting current headlines to serve as “plot,” look forward to next fall when we find out how the current election crisis in Iran will affect Milford’s starting quarterback.
    For some reason, the kid’s drawing in Slylock Fox reminds me of Snidely Whiplash. That’s definitely a good thing, as the “villains” of the strip could use some lessons in proper evil, not merely stealing coffee mugs or lying to get out of speeding tickets (both of which are actually startlingly common behaviors among adults).
    I think today marks the first time we’ve actually seen an act of trauma or violence occurring in Family Circus. Far too often, the strip portrays the characters either immediately before or immediately after the actual incident, but here we actually get to witness Daddy’s painful destruction of his lumbar. Hopefully this is followed by portrayals of Daddy chasing after the children, hell-bent upon throttling them for laughing at his pain.

  41. Comrade Denny
    June 18th, 2009 at 5:25 pm [Reply]

    #38 – One-eyed Wolfdog:

    Perhaps Milford is situated atop some sort of cosmic singularity causing hamburgers to move backwards through space-time as well as flipper-hands.

  42. One-eyed Wolfdog
    June 18th, 2009 at 5:26 pm [Reply]

    In panel 1, the father, in his shock, has temporarily forgotten how to spell ‘antimacassar’, and will wake up at two in the morning with c’s and s’s racing around in his head.

  43. Li’l Bunnë FooFoo
    June 18th, 2009 at 5:28 pm [Reply]

    GT: How long ago was it that someone here said, they couldn’t possibly use the word “sexting” in Gil Thorp? And which of you was it? Could you use your superpowers to affect other comics?

    “They couldn’t possibly show body hair in Spiderman”
    “They couldn’t possibly breathe fresh life into Marmaduke”
    “They couldn’t possibly move on to another storyline in Pibgorn”

  44. One-eyed Wolfdog
    June 18th, 2009 at 5:28 pm [Reply]

    That drawing of Billy in FC is really reminding me of some other character in some other (probably better) strip. Can’t put my finger on who it is, though. Grr.

  45. One-eyed Wolfdog
    June 18th, 2009 at 5:34 pm [Reply]

    #41 – My commitment to the Gil Thorp saga seems to buckle a bit before the point where I’d be willing to make Feynman diagrams just to keep abreast of a typical cafeteria scene.

  46. Patrick
    June 18th, 2009 at 5:35 pm [Reply]

    That first panel in Gil Thorp is so full of despair. Letter-M t-shirt guy sits next to a girl crying into her giant ravioli. Maybe it’s because they only have mucilage to drink.

  47. Dagger
    June 18th, 2009 at 5:38 pm [Reply]

    Shouldn’t one of the differences have been that the drawing reads “Dad” in one panel and “Dead” in the other, as a none-too-subtle threat from the evil crayonspawn?

  48. Chris
    June 18th, 2009 at 5:42 pm [Reply]

    I find it interesting that Billy sees himself as much taller, much thinner and much less bulbous-headed than he is in real life…

  49. Josh
    June 18th, 2009 at 5:45 pm [Reply]

    I wish Josh would lose Gil Thorp forever. The new strip is the ugliest, worst-drawn strip I’ve ever seen, and lacks any hint of the old lunacy. Just looking at it makes me sick, and I immediately skip to the next thing. The drawing makes Crock look like Little Nemo. It’s just so hideous, and the strip is so stupid and banal. Let it go.

  50. annabanana
    June 18th, 2009 at 5:45 pm [Reply]

    Having just seen an article on the “10 Most Absurd ‘Time’ Covers of the Past 40 Years” (each of said covers detailing yet another civilization-toppling social trend, such as pornography! or dirty words! or comic books!), I feel pretty certain that Frau Doktor Pearl’s observation on the menace of sexting as enshrined in a pair of arteriosclerotic newsmagazines’ lead stories means that ‘Time’ and/ or ‘Newsweek’ is hard at it even as we speak cranking out Absurd Cover No. 11 jjust in time to be 15 minutes late behind yet another current trend.

  51. Fashion Police
    June 18th, 2009 at 5:47 pm [Reply]

    Y181, boojum (and Y183, commodorejohn):
    We are aghast to have caused such anguish and heartily appreciate your remembrance of a better day. We shall forthwith refrain from further comparing the current dreary state of Apartment 3-G to its glorious past. Alas, such is the state of the Republic.

    Y180, commodorejohn:
    Last week in Get Fuzzy Rob Wilco wore an obviously rented, ill-fitting tuxedo with a red stripe on the trousers. Clearly, either he or Mr. Conley mistook a band uniform for formal wear. That is both inexcusable and unforgiveable.

    We are not certain whether Wilco as a bone-headed slacker is a reflection of his creator, or if Mr. Conley has deliberately chosen to emphasize his less endearing traits to make him a credible stooge for his pets. Either way, we are not impressed. No man with less wit than a cat holds any appeal for us.

    Further, Mr. Conley appears either incapable or unwilling to introduce women into his universe, which we find exceedingly peculiar. Despite his impressive artistic skills, we doubt if Mr. Conley is capable of creating fashions more attractive even than Mr. Bolle’s, or that rise above the slovenliness that characterizes Wilco-world. It is quite possible that Mr. Conley has created female characters but they refuse to set foot inside his urban barnyard.

    While Funky Winkerbean does avoid the particular fashion horror that you describe, all of his characters reflect the air of drabness and gloom that inhabits Mr. Batiuk’s creative spirit. Even Cindy Summers, who as a big-time New York Media Person could be expected to show at least a modicum of flair and originality, looks like she shops in the outlet malls. We fear that even she would be taken for a dustwoman if she appeared in the Margo’s neighborhood. Mr. Batiuk gives the impression of someone whose idea of dressing up is putting on a pair of socks.

    Oh dear…We apologize for going on at such length. Brevity, as Miss Dorothy Parker observed, is the soul of lingerie.

  52. Li’l Bunnë FooFoo
    June 18th, 2009 at 5:59 pm [Reply]

    Fashion Police @ 51
    Get Fuzzy had women in it in the first couple of years, but lately not so much. Recently there was a female cat — the cat psychic. In fact, outside of cats, we pretty much only see Rob these days. When was the last time Joe put in an appearance?

  53. Violet
    June 18th, 2009 at 6:04 pm [Reply]

    Is today’s Pluggers subject to any other possible interpretation than “Pluggers drive drunk”? I suppose a more charitable reading could be “Pluggers swill their jugs of triple-X moonshine alone on the couch watching Bonanza, so driving isn’t really an issue.”

  54. Nekrotzar
    June 18th, 2009 at 6:07 pm [Reply]

    If Gil Thorpe tries to continue to prove that it is hip vis-a-vis modern lingo by doing a story line about a ‘cougar,’ and said story line involves Dr. Pearl, there WILL be consequences.

  55. TheDiva
    June 18th, 2009 at 6:07 pm [Reply]

    GT: This storyline is starting to sound disturbingly like a Chick Tract. All that’s missing is the taken-entirely-out-of-context Bible verse at the bottom of every other panel.

  56. bats :[
    June 18th, 2009 at 6:21 pm [Reply]

    Link to the absurd Time covers mentioned by anabanana (funny stuff…except for Pokemon!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!):
    http://www.reason.com/news/show/134038.html

  57. zerowolf
    June 18th, 2009 at 6:38 pm [Reply]

  58. Islamorada Girl
    June 18th, 2009 at 6:45 pm [Reply]

    55: Diva, if GT sounds like a Chick comic, consider this: the original writer was the same guy who made a small fortune off that “Left Behind” series. Muscular Christianity!

  59. Izzy
    June 18th, 2009 at 6:56 pm [Reply]

    56. Pokemon is serious business.

  60. Artist formerly known as Ben
    June 18th, 2009 at 7:00 pm [Reply]

    Josh, you’ve perfectly crystallized the way I feel about Milford’s scholar athletes. Which is weird, because I didn’t realize I felt any way about them.

  61. ThaGeeGee
    June 18th, 2009 at 7:00 pm [Reply]

    When I first saw the kid’s drawing in Slylox, my mind saw the word “dead” instead of “dad,” and the whole thing made perfect sense.

    Then I saw that the word was indeed merely the paternal title, and I was crestfallen.

    I think a lot of this stems from the dead state of my own truly evil dad.

    Life is funny.

  62. Wasabi Jane
    June 18th, 2009 at 7:01 pm [Reply]

    I’m kinda waiting for some sort of dramatic reveal that this week’s Family Circus has actually been hijacked by Stephan Pastis. Will tomorrow’s strip, captioned “Daddy protects his family’s honor” feature Dad Keane beating the crap outta Rat with a Wacom tablet?

  63. Al of the Christian Singles Jungle Patrol
    June 18th, 2009 at 7:10 pm [Reply]

    GT — Dr. Pearl looks like she’s holding a straight razor.

  64. gnome de blog
    June 18th, 2009 at 7:12 pm [Reply]

    #52, Li’l Bunnë FooFoo:
    We had been advised that there had been a female character in Get Fuzzy and that she disappeared and was never seen again. We also took note of the female cat psychic. However, we only know she was female because we were told. Further, she was dressed exactly like all the male cats so we shan’t bother to speculate about her fashion sense.

    We still think it peculiar that Wilco-World is such an overwhelmingly male preserve. Indeed, we don’t believe it stretches credibility too much to assume that Satchel and Bucky are eunuchs, and Rob may as well be.

  65. Rusty
    June 18th, 2009 at 7:30 pm [Reply]

    FC: Billy as drawn by Billy is suspiciously of normal head-to-body ratio and svelte.

  66. The Spectre
    June 18th, 2009 at 7:31 pm [Reply]

    Slylock Fox: No-one else commented on how one of the “unscramble” words is “mustache”, as if to call our attention to the difference between the real “dad” and the one in the kid’s drawing?

  67. It's time to pay the price
    June 18th, 2009 at 7:48 pm [Reply]

    Daddy’s gonna need more than a week off after he cracks his lumbar, potentially paralyzing himself from the waste down. Oh well, at least this will lend itself to a whole new batch of malapropisms. “Daddy must really like ‘feen’, cause he keeps beggin for ‘more’ of it!”

  68. Lolsworth
    June 18th, 2009 at 7:50 pm [Reply]

    Ugh, I could have gone my whole life without discovering that “sexting” was a word. God, I hate you, Gil Thorp.

  69. Toff
    June 18th, 2009 at 8:13 pm [Reply]

    Phoxting?

  70. Josh
    June 18th, 2009 at 8:30 pm [Reply]

    #58 I-Girl — Let us not sully the memory of Jack Berrill, the creator of Gil Thorp, who worked on the strip for nearly 40 years! Left Behind co-author Jerry Jenkins took over as writer when Berrill died in 1996, and then relinquished the strip to current writer (and insane genius) Neil Rubin in 2004. Rumor (on Wikipdedia) has it that much of the writing during Jenkins’ run was actually doen by his son Chad, a college baseball coach, but the plots were quite churchy during that era.

    Josh

  71. 5-Sigma Freud
    June 18th, 2009 at 8:37 pm [Reply]

    “Where’s Town Park Beach?”
    “Down behind Town Park Beach Hill, just follow Town Park Beach Road.”
    “Ah, next to Town Park Beach Park!”

    Well, at least they’re concrete. Herb and Jamaal would call them all “Noun Noun Noun Noun”.

  72. Thorzul
    June 18th, 2009 at 8:41 pm [Reply]

    Finally, headway has been made for a Family Circus-themed video game. “Bil Keane’s Pro Skater” is slated to hit shelves December 14, 2009. I’ve got a lawn chair and a blanket, ready to camp out on the sidewalk along my nearest Best Buy. Black dashed line Easter Egg, bitches!

  73. mojo
    June 18th, 2009 at 8:51 pm [Reply]

    “Either way, the kid’s vacant smile and stab-ready crayon are things to worry about.”

    For some reason that doesn’t bother me HALF as much as the fact that for some obscure reason the kid’s pants have been pulled down. I don’t know WHY, and I don’t WANT to know why. I just want it to STOP.

  74. Frozen
    June 18th, 2009 at 9:17 pm [Reply]

    What is it with Slylock/Six Differences and unidentified eyes glowing in any place where the darkness hangs heavy? There were some on the 13th, the 1st, May 26th, and May 20th. These are the only ones in the archives, but I remember seeing them before. Also, kid-disturbed-drawer made another appearance on May 23rd, this time with a drawing of the “BAD DUDE”, probably even more disturbing than “DAD”. This is some messed up stuff, like Bob Clampett looney toons messed up and equally as surreal and disturbing.

  75. Zeussical
    June 18th, 2009 at 9:17 pm [Reply]

    I’m looking for “Tecumsah” in the six differences panel, but I’m not sure.

    Maybe that’s him hiding under the chair?

  76. Frozen
    June 18th, 2009 at 9:21 pm [Reply]

    Tecumsah, also known as Captain Howdy, Tak, and Pennywise depending on which dimension he’s currently stalking.

  77. Batman Beatles
    June 18th, 2009 at 9:27 pm [Reply]

    MW – Is she serving a bowl of fingers?

  78. Wolf Shepard
    June 18th, 2009 at 9:32 pm [Reply]

    I googled “sexting” just to be sure I knew what the word really means. Wikipedia is a little vague, but it gives a couple of references where we can see the word used in pop culture. One of those references is the 18 June edition of Gil Thorpe. I guess the Gil Thorpe version is the new gold standard for sexting.

  79. Jamus The Bartender
    June 18th, 2009 at 9:34 pm [Reply]

    FOOB: I know it’s a rerun, but I am really squicked by that middle panel. I just took a shower not five minutes ago, and now I feel like I need another one.
    Funky Winkerbean: No, the fun comes when Mr Really Old Man Coach clutches his chest, the team has to find 911 on their handsets, and you have to explain to the arresting officer the meaning of the statement ” …break off that finger and stick it up your nose.”
    Judge Parker: On Tonight’s COPS: “Yeah, it’s a dangerous job, bein’ a cop. Every car you pull over could be your last…you really value life, ya know? There’s murders, drug dealin’….but when a hot blonde wearing a leopard print tube top says she needs police help to stop a riot of cheerleader moms, well, a man’s gotta do what a man’s gotta do…every day. In every way…”

  80. Jamus The Bartender
    June 18th, 2009 at 9:35 pm [Reply]

    43. “They couldn’t possibly show Ashley Bengal and Maureen Fox naked wrestling in Jello in ‘My Cage’ “. Well, it was worth a shot…

  81. Master Softheart
    June 18th, 2009 at 10:27 pm [Reply]

    FB: There is a real, identifiable joke here.

    Fred Basset has broken the fifth seal.

  82. Sparky AKA Able Bodied Seaman Craggy Fjord
    June 18th, 2009 at 10:27 pm [Reply]

    If the world has gone mad and all of the cast of Gil Thorp are viewed as normal – then we’re all doomed. Sexting is akin to making a booty call. None of the retarded kids did this. Send them to Juvie for being idiots but not for sexting.

  83. anty a
    June 18th, 2009 at 11:11 pm [Reply]

    What does a girl awkwardly yet chastely posing in a carton ensemble have to do with sex? Isn’t this a little out-there even for a fetish? Is there an underground market for pics of teens sporting recycleables? I must be hopelessly out of touch.

  84. Chromium
    June 18th, 2009 at 11:40 pm [Reply]

    So, uh, what does it tell us that “Family Circus” miraculously becomes funny when Jeff Keane pretends to be a six-year-old child? Any psych majors want to chime in?

  85. commodorejohn
    June 18th, 2009 at 11:40 pm [Reply]

    #51 Fashion Police – Fair enough; I confess that I haven’t actually read Get Fuzzy since it started turning into a wordier Garfield, with an endless parade of novelty animals showing up for a week or three and then disappearing into a void they probably share with lost socks and childhood dreams, and thus I missed that particular storyline.

  86. un_malpaso
    June 18th, 2009 at 11:43 pm [Reply]

    By the way, cardboard bikinis are a serious social issue. They have been featured in several (well, OK, one) popular family comic strips in daily newspapers!

    I don’t want to hear any scoffing, people! Scoffing is a very serious problem. As is snarking. Snarking has been featured on at least one popular “blog,” or publicly updated Web site. Trash. Trash, I say!

  87. Poteet
    June 18th, 2009 at 11:51 pm [Reply]

    # 64 gnome — I don’t mind the lack of females and the bad fashion in GET FUZZY, but I mind the ongoing refusal to ever leave their apartment. Several weeks ago we were given a glimpse of another building out one of the windows, but other than that, it’s as if they all have really severe agoraphobia. And now I’ll shut up again about this subject for at least a couple of months. Serves me right for going back to GF after vowing I’d never go back until one of them actually went out the door.

  88. True Fable
    June 18th, 2009 at 11:57 pm [Reply]

    #81 Master Softheart – Bwahahaha!!

  89. Joe Btfsplk
    June 19th, 2009 at 12:11 am [Reply]

    #78 Wolf Shepard – I also looked it up. From the Wikipedia article:

    On June 18, 2009, a storyline of Gil Thorpe concerned the forwarding of cardboard bikini photos between students and was labeled ‘sexting’ by their principal.[24]

    24. citation needed

    “See also.” Hmm… Dr. Pearl is doing her part to get the Moral Panic rolling. We can only hope for the Deviancy Amplification Spiral to follow. “Rainbow Party?” What’s that?

    ::click::

    OK, maybe we don’t need to go there.

  90. bats :[
    June 19th, 2009 at 12:34 am [Reply]

    In lieu of snarking the Friday funnies, I succumbed to the siren song of June Morgan (yep, it’s all June! All the time!)…
    http://www.flickr.com/photos/9545446@N07/3639296160/sizes/o/

  91. DreddPyrateRoberts
    June 19th, 2009 at 12:35 am [Reply]

    Today’s Shylock Fox depicts a disturbing scenario. Marvin has grown up into the antichrist-child that he is destined to become. His picture is a depiction of his real dad, the dark lord, in one of his human personas. Unfortunately, he has outgrown his fascination with feces and now obsesses on the blood of virgins and and of course dragging your soul into eternal torment. Which, of course will be an eternity in the bowels of Marvin-world.
    Bwaaahahahahahahaha!

  92. Donkey Hotey
    June 19th, 2009 at 12:44 am [Reply]

    #56 bats :[ – It is not without irony that the “Drugs: The Enemy Within” issue hit newsstands just as I began my 7-year odyssey as a college undergrad.

  93. boojum
    June 19th, 2009 at 12:53 am [Reply]

    Fashion Police @ 51: Many thanks. Your consideration marks you as a truly genteel person. You are a breath of eau de lavande on a trying summer day.

    Also, ixty-say our-fay. I believe your slip may be showing.

  94. The Mighty Captain E
    June 19th, 2009 at 12:53 am [Reply]

    GT – I am torn between thinking that Dr. Pearl’s left hand is a beautifully mis-drawn claw and thinking that it is a accurate rendition of the severely arthritic deformity she must rise above in order to be the best darn half-assed principal she can be.
    Fortunately I can move beyond that conflict and simply admire Mr. Big M Non-sequitor in the first panel – it looks like someone has lopped off the fingertips of his left hand and he is suffering the first stage of swelling before gangrene. Things cannot get much worse, really.

  95. True Fable
    June 19th, 2009 at 12:53 am [Reply]

    It’s Friday!

    Fist O Justice Theater WHAT is the word most often bolded in this striip. Who’s on first, I don’t give a damn’s on third. And let’s hope Joey keeps those sideburns trimmed or he will be noshing on a Fist Sandwich of Justice soon.
    Sam Driver, Chick Magnet And here’s Godiva Danube, Adoring Male Magnet! I can’t wait for the two of them to get together- it will be a (platonic for Sam) clusterfuck.
    Rex Morgan, Man Whore Big Willy, Little Willy – June’s trying to say this has been a lousy vacation and there’s only one thing on her mind.
    Meddle House Wait, what? He’s never home much, so YOU LEFT HIM? yeah, that’ll make it even; now you’re not home just as much! Damn you prodigies are so admirable.
    Margo 3-D The plane’s going down! Quick, Margo! Go to the back and get out an inflatable raft so you and Martin can jump out the back door and sled down a snowy slope, just like Indy Jones! Oh boy, I just love being on location!
    Spider-Moneybag No wonder all he wants to do is watch TV, what with all the blows to the head he takes in the course of his day. It’s no excuse for a lousy writing job, but it is what it is.

    Finicky Wonkmeister Is there such a thing as a ‘mercy rule’ in comics? Like if you reach for the same horribly depressing loser stories one after another for a decade, will they pull your plug at the syndicate?
    What other mercy rules can we have? Discuss.

  96. NoahSnark
    June 19th, 2009 at 1:01 am [Reply]

    The proper way to to teach Billy how to use a skateboard would have been to take him to the top of a hill, put him on the board, and give a push. Ideally the hill should empty out onto a freeway, but that is more Funky Winkerbean than Family Circus.

  97. True Fable
    June 19th, 2009 at 1:21 am [Reply]

    SFx The gorilla’s smile and the placement of the feet that look like hands, says it all.
    IFHZ This is ridiculous.
    Marmadick Are you thinking of the same ‘v’ word that I am?
    WTF GT “Prep Spotlight” cracks me up. Let’s do the whole show wearing cardboard cartons!

  98. Mariko
    June 19th, 2009 at 1:23 am [Reply]

    MT– Joey? Seriously? Joey? Mark, Mark, Mark–if he had been named Arlo, I would never have snarked your strip again. As it is, the only chance you have for redemption is if one of those “federal agents” Mark talked about yesterday is named Obie.

  99. Poteet
    June 19th, 2009 at 1:25 am [Reply]

    6/19 S-M — Wait a minute. Isn’t Spidey supposed to be able to shoot web out of his wrist thingies to stop and/or catch large heavy objects? And failing that, couldn’t he somehow figure out a way to deal with the money sack without being clonked on the back of his head? Is he trying to protect his beautiful face?

  100. bats :[
    June 19th, 2009 at 1:29 am [Reply]

  101. Ktrout
    June 19th, 2009 at 1:30 am [Reply]

    Now I was never a physicist, but doesn’t it seem unlikely that the skateboard would take such a bizarre upwards trajectory from underneath Daddy? You’d think it would just roll away horizontally.

    The only reasonable conclusion for this is that little Billy is slowly becoming aware of his latent telekinetic powers and is using them for the very sensible purpose of inflicting irreversible head trauma on his father, hopefully leaving him a babbling incompetent for the rest of his days.

    But would anyone notice the difference? *rimshot*

  102. Beetle Bumstead
    June 19th, 2009 at 1:43 am [Reply]

    As the terror known as “Father’s” Day approaches, we can only expect more in the way of random violence, sinister threats and poorly drawn comics. God help us all!

  103. ixty-say our-fay
    June 19th, 2009 at 2:09 am [Reply]

    Yeah, I know. Thanks for reminding me.

  104. boojum
    June 19th, 2009 at 2:25 am [Reply]

    A3G: Oh. My. Gah. Margo just killed somebody! With her mind…. In her sleep!!

    Meanwhile Lu Ann is, predictably, baffled and terrified by the phone’s evil magic.

    “When are you coming home, baby?”
    ** crickets **
    “But, I AM home… — Ruby?!? Is that you? Where’s Tommie? How’d you get in the little box with TOMMIE?!

  105. Mibbitmaker
    June 19th, 2009 at 3:13 am [Reply]

    Ones, comma, New:

    Zits: Oh, that’s so much better but still horrifying to a slightly less degree but still horrifying!

    666CL: Ol’ smug, judgmental Brooke is still bab-bab-babbling along…

    A3G: This one is so begging for lots of snark, and yet, for all my attempts, I keep drawing blanks.
    – Unlike Margo, here, of course.

    BBlues: Boy’s getting creepier!

    BBailey: Biggest danger to stateside soldiers? Generals who decide they have nothing left to live for.

    ReFOOB: In case anyone wonders why he ran off with his hygenist.

    FW: Gags are over, it’s time to return to the usual depressing.

    GT: Unintentionally snarky box labels — I kinda like that idea (though better done in that Wallace & Gromit movie).

    JP: Why do I suddenly get the song “Convoy” in my head?

    Luann: Brad learned parenting from Calvin & Hobbes.

    MT1: “If lacking a mustache, beard, stubble, or big-ass sideburns on a villain, an early ’70s hairstyle will do.” — M. Trail’s Punching Handbook (no pun intended)

    MT2: Omigod, there’s two of them!

    MTV2: A spin-off cable channel.

    Vig Vurshlugginer Vog -er- …Dog: V word….. vasectomy???

    OBH: Ruthie, have you read Pearls Before Swine???

    Holy-Ghost-Who-Walks??: This strip loves the quasi-atheism of 9 Chickweed Lane and the contrived, opinionated allegories of Non Sequitur, and thought it’d go for a mash-up. No thanks, Creators-Who-Aren’t-Falk.

    RMMD: My “aaaaaw!” and my “eeeewwww!” are getting mixed up.

    S-M: Oh, Spidey gets klonked on the head — gee, what’re the chances of that happening…?

  106. Talking Squirrel
    June 19th, 2009 at 3:45 am [Reply]

    MT: The new plotline will eventually reveal that Joey is Rusty’s older brother.

    This is telegraphed to the observant reader who notes that Joey’s cravat is of the same peculiar material as Rusty’s neckerchief — an instance of the obscure plot device known as four-in-hand-shadowing.

  107. Frank Parsnip
    June 19th, 2009 at 3:51 am [Reply]

    Beetle Bailey: General Halftrack is driven suicidal by paperwork and a lack of friends.

    Funky Pantysniffer: Coach Bubastis doesn’t know about the mercy rule? I mean, it’s not like he really has that much to do as part of his job other than to know how sports games work.

    Spider-Man: Welcome to random object theater. Bricks, bags of money and rotten vegetables welcome.

    MT: “Who’s accusing us? My best guess is it’s the UPS man based on his clothes.”

    Pluggers: The radiation from those ancient analog mobile phones in bags likely explains the mutations behind all these manimals.

    MW: The true relationship problem is that her husband has a successful career and is in demand as a travelling speaker, or is it just that he bangs everything that moves when he’s on tour? I think we all have a right to know.

    Jugs Parker: Be careful, Godiva Danube! Teddy Roosevelt has spotted you and is reporting on your imminent arrival at a high school. And if there’s anything Teddy Roosevelt is known for, it’s for his ability to hunt and mount incredible racks.

    Hi and Lois: Nice sailor hat, fatboy.

    Archie: Jughead doesn’t like to be challenged, and so in panel 3 he’s rammed his hand through Archie’s neck.

    A3G: Lu Ann can’t answer questions if she doesn’t see someone miming the relevant verb with their hands. (“Lu Ann want eat? Eat? Mmm-mmm? Eat? Food! Good food! Yummy! Eat?”)

    Family Circus: Add golf cheat to the list of moral turpitude.

    Sex Organ, M.D.: Oh, Nagel-print June, please never change out of that bikini. You can wash it adequately just be swimming in the ship’s pool.

  108. Ace
    June 19th, 2009 at 3:53 am [Reply]

    I’m almost sure that the Six Differences kid’s mom will later observe that picture and offhandedly comment on how it somewhat resembles the Milkman.

  109. Talking Squirrel
    June 19th, 2009 at 4:18 am [Reply]

    107 Frank Parsnip: “Sex Organ, M.D.: Oh, Nagel-print June, please never change out of that bikini. You can wash it adequately just be swimming in the ship’s pool.”

    But Frank, why would we want her to wash it? Nothing gets a guy hotter than the musky reek of heat-and-pheromonically altered soy ink.

  110. Aitherion
    June 19th, 2009 at 4:54 am [Reply]

    Luann: If every comic had an absolutely absurd punchline like this, this comic would be saved.

  111. Mardek
    June 19th, 2009 at 6:34 am [Reply]

    There’s a third possibility – Daddy Keane is so desperate that he’s willing to risk life and limb showing Billy the “proper” way to use a skateboard, in hopes that the horrible bobble-headed sprog will try it, preferably in a high-traffic area and/or on concrete rather than carpet.

  112. gleeb
    June 19th, 2009 at 6:37 am [Reply]

    A3-G: Margo enjoys the pleasure of banging her seat back into someone’s knees even in her sleep.

    Edge City: Something wrong? Don’t try to help it, just take a pill!

    ‘bean: Hey, something touched by Coach Cholesterol is no good. Big surprise. Who’s up for Montoni’s?

    Gil: Red Bull and the Twink, with all the hot Milford gossip you crave!

    Phantom: Trooper Hana is the Great Agnostic of the Jungle Patrol.

  113. Little Guy
    June 19th, 2009 at 7:00 am [Reply]

    Gil in a Box: Sure, Gil, NOW you use the “I’m just a pawn in the game of life” card.

    MT: Rick Springfield from 1981 called, and he wants his do back.

    JP: “By the time we got to the tryouts, we were half a million strong….””

    FW: ….invented by Keith Jackson.

    MC: Max as Betram Cooper.

  114. Little Guy
    June 19th, 2009 at 7:00 am [Reply]

    … um, Bertram Cooper. Hey Ed amd Melissa! Mad Men Parody!

  115. John C Fremont
    June 19th, 2009 at 7:07 am [Reply]

    #44 One-eyed Wolfdog – I’m going with Earl from Mutts.

    A3G – “I’ll never forget him, the leader of the pack!”

    Lio – “Oh, gross! I saw Cal’s pubic bone!”

    GT – “Pearl, Pearl, where be Pearl?”

    MT – Nice hair, Joey. Bill Bixby would be proud.

    RMMD – So there’s a Big Willy, eh? June’s finally getting to the meat of the matter.

    I would just like to apologize for that last one, folks. It was in poor taste, and I’m sorry. Honest.

  116. mordock999
    June 19th, 2009 at 7:30 am [Reply]

    Today’s Luann 06/19/09

    “Thats RIGHT Shannon. My Foot’s FAKE and YOU were ADOPTED, you aggrivating little @#%$&!” — Brad

    Sigh.

    Sorry Folks. I went too FAR that time. I must be getting hypoglycemic.

    Look, you guys play amongst yourselves while I get something sugary and sleep-inducing….,

    __________________________

    DEATH to TJ!

  117. Jimbo
    June 19th, 2009 at 7:42 am [Reply]

    SF–I could have done without the creepy, balding (apparently middle-aged) male student in the desk to Hilary’s right in the last panel today. He looks like that scrawny bald underling on the marketing team Sally has to oversee. He’s some sort of sex-offender, I’m quite sure. And isn’t that Daria (or whatever her name is), Ted’s office wife, teaching the class? The whole thing makes me shudder.

  118. Vince M
    June 19th, 2009 at 7:56 am [Reply]

    102: Hopefully this will counteract the awful strips; I laughed myself:
    http://www.gocomics.com/lastkiss

  119. tuesy
    June 19th, 2009 at 7:58 am [Reply]

    Luann: I almost laughed out loud today at the last panel. Almost. Is that one of the signs of the Apocalypse?

  120. TheCasey
    June 19th, 2009 at 7:59 am [Reply]

    A3G – Huh. Plane must’ve blown a tire.

    Garfield – Lasagna-shaped? So, rectangular? How inventive!

    GT – Ah, so Sacko and the Hatt are looking to tap into a whole new demographic.

    JP – Because having Rocky & Godiva (I still can’t believe he dumped Bullwinkle for her) at the tryouts isn’t at all going to emphasize Sophie’s life of privelege or anything.

    Luann – Ah, the joys of lying to small children and gullible idiots. Brad’s doing it wrong, though. You have to make the lie obvious enough so that any adult it gets repeated to immediately gets that joke, but believable enough to snooker the liee.

    MT – It’s a good thing there’s no other company in the world with those initals. Especially not a company that makes barrels.

    Spiderman – Being a hero also got him a piece of MJ’s hot, hot ass. So, you know, good with the bad.

  121. Old School Allie Cat
    June 19th, 2009 at 8:02 am [Reply]

    GT – I honestly think the Twinkies box is about the “wink, wink-iest” thing GT has ever done. Delightfully bawdy, and honestly, something a teenage guy would have come up with. Of course, the Red Bull box is no slouch, either. Could it be that Gil Thorp is showing signs of a sense of humor? Or – gasp – authenticity?!

  122. Amateur
    June 19th, 2009 at 8:03 am [Reply]

    MW: “Delilah, why did you leave him?”

    “He objected to my turning myself and everything around me pale blue whenever I got into a funk.”

    Oh, sorry, Delilah wouldn’t say “funk.” She’s one of those INTELLIGENT people, you know. Let’s see . . . what’s Italian for “funk”?

  123. KarMann
    June 19th, 2009 at 8:03 am [Reply]

    A3G: “I’m cold… so cold!” Hey, you said it, Margo, not me!

  124. Halifaxer
    June 19th, 2009 at 8:40 am [Reply]

    Hat-boy in a Twinkies box half naked with his Red Bull BFF. Subtle as a brick through plate glass.

  125. Rock Ripsnort
    June 19th, 2009 at 9:09 am [Reply]

    Six Differences: You all missed that in the first pic, “Daddy”‘s actually suprised at the news of his cuckholdry, in the second, he’s grown accustomed to it. “Yes, that’s your mother’s cult leader, alright.”

  126. Dingo
    June 19th, 2009 at 9:24 am [Reply]

    Hmm… which sounds better? Sucking down a Red Bull or nibbling the creamy filling out of a Twinkie?

  127. Muffaroo
    June 19th, 2009 at 9:25 am [Reply]

    A3G – Hey, I could actually hear the pilot dropping dead!

    FCircus – HAR! It’s funny because it’s GOLF!

    GAlley – Meanwhile, the real Warren Peacegood has gone off a cliff or something. Yeah, a cliff. That’s the ticket.

    GThorp – I don’t want to see his twinkie.

    Mduke – This is the dog who orders things on the internet. Just pray he doesn’t see the sign.

    Marfield – So tomorrow M craps in the magazine rack. Pure comedy brown!

    (The little diaper stain always wears an “M” shirt. Does that mean he’s fated to attend Milford? I guess there is a Monty, after all.)

    PCity – Czars predate socialism.

    Toff @69 – It’s a perfectly cromulent word.

    un_malpaso @86 – Correct me if I’m wrong, but I thought scoffing and snarking were only serious problems when combined with texting — “scofting” and “snarxting.” Just typing those words gives me the willy creeps.

  128. Dingo
    June 19th, 2009 at 9:27 am [Reply]

    Over in Mark Trail, I’d be suspicious of Joey. What man wears a tie clip at the bottom of his tie? He’s hiding something.

  129. TheDiva
    June 19th, 2009 at 10:12 am [Reply]

    BaBl: Apparently Mom hasn’t figured out how to work the “delete” button on her camera yet.

    FW: It’s like Peanuts, only without any endearing qualities whatsoever.

    GT: I’m still trying to figure out how these three panels relate to each other. Mostly because it takes my mind off the Dick In A Box Show in panel three.

  130. queek
    June 19th, 2009 at 10:13 am [Reply]

    we seem to have some unintentional cross-overs today. OBH has already been noted (hey zeeba! get a bunny! problem solved!) However, Hearts mom in HotC seems to have been taking lessons from Herb and Jamaal on proper specificity in communication.

    MC: please, Great Disney, let Max’s new girlfriend not be Bridget.

    NS: *blip* you

    Pan bless Baretto, Hawa’s guns, and June Morgan’s hip to waist ratio.

  131. walty
    June 19th, 2009 at 1:43 pm [Reply]

    It’s kind of sad that Billy (age 7) has a better grasp on actual human body proportions then either his dad or his creator. Maybe years of sneaking peeks at daddy’s secret magazines and a house with no mirrors (or “devil glass”) has actually taught him an artistic skill, which shall be beaten out of him once the pastor is summoned.

  132. jordin
    June 19th, 2009 at 5:50 pm [Reply]

    I prefer the simplest and most literal explanation: Daddy wants to teach Billy to fall off the skateboard and hurt himself.

  133. dale
    June 19th, 2009 at 6:58 pm [Reply]

    132 – jordin

    Occam’s razor. Good thinking. The kid could learn to shave with a steak knife, too.

  134. Bitter Scribe
    June 19th, 2009 at 7:56 pm [Reply]

    Is there such a thing as a ‘mercy rule’ in comics? Like if you reach for the same horribly depressing loser stories one after another for a decade, will they pull your plug at the syndicate?
    What other mercy rules can we have? Discuss.

    I’d settle for a “no zombies” rule. As in, when you die, your strip dies with you, and your kids have to get real jobs.

  135. The Ultimate Jerk
    June 21st, 2009 at 10:45 pm [Reply]

    Yo, the kid is tellin’ pops that mom is cheating. But where are his pants?

  136. Buck Remus
    June 22nd, 2009 at 6:13 pm [Reply]

    God I just realized that Josh’s familiar reference to Big Daddy Keane was a play on the original Mr. “How ya like me now?” rapper. I simply thought it was singularly appropriate for Mr. Bland Slacks and the duality never occurred to me. Jeesh. Layers…upon layers.

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