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Metapost: I’ve ceased to entertain you, but I still demand your money

In the absence of weights, are you employing isometrics? Well, don’t wait for the unenlightened to pester you about it; just declare the fact with pride with new workout gear from the Comics Curmudgeon store! We’ve got sleeveless men’s t-shirts and women’s tank tops designed for the descriminating isometrician. And, of course, once you’ve purchased your new garment, you simply must have someone photograph you in mid-isometric exercize so that you can join the array of models in the left nav bar. Do it! Do it now!

51 responses to “Metapost: I’ve ceased to entertain you, but I still demand your money”

  1. Nom du Jour
    September 7th, 2005 at 3:25 pm [Reply]

    Greek honeymoons are so expensive.

  2. Irina
    September 7th, 2005 at 3:43 pm [Reply]

    Let’s hear it for plucky little bezitted homeschooled nerds! “Brick” House, indeed!

    DTGT!

  3. kippetje2000
    September 7th, 2005 at 3:49 pm [Reply]

    I think I preferred the t-shirts when there was someone occupying them…mmm.

  4. arex
    September 7th, 2005 at 5:40 pm [Reply]

    yeah, “brick house” aka Rudy. I feel a heartwarming tear jerker coming on….

    (by the way, First! …to make a comment about what place I’m in on this post)

  5. Vikki
    September 7th, 2005 at 6:04 pm [Reply]

    In Soviet Russia, in the absence of isometrics, you build cars heavier than they need to be to fulfill output quotas.

  6. Bob
    September 7th, 2005 at 6:07 pm [Reply]

    Wow, do I not like this new format as it appears on IE. FBOFW – So why is Becky still talking to April, anyway when April is just snapping one comeback after the other on her? Maybe the secret agenda is to get April to be a roadie with the Becky’s group. Can’t wait till Becky starts to take on a Janis Joplin look – a sure sign she’s ready to kiss it all goodbye.

  7. Maughta
    September 7th, 2005 at 6:32 pm [Reply]

    Dilbert: I noticed something very odd today. I get Dilbert by e-mail (comics.com or ucomics or something). So anyway, today I was reading yesterday’s comics in the local newspaper (don’t ask), and DILBERT HAD A DIFFERENT FINAL PANEL!! In the one I got by e-mail, it showed a porpoise sticking out of a lawyer’s back (funny, looked like it’d gotten stuck up his bum). In the “edited” version in my paper, you just saw the lawyer with a large hole in his back. Totally ruined the joke. I didn’t know newspapers got a “clean” version (although it’s no surprise that the same paper that prints “ask Billy Graham” above Dear Abby every day would opt for the censored version).

    Grrrrrrrrr.

  8. gnome de blog
    September 7th, 2005 at 6:50 pm [Reply]

    Veddy interesting. I checked. Comics.com has the up-the-ass version, and my local paper also has the hole-in-the-back version.

    Conclusive evidence of alternate realities?

  9. Islamorada Girl
    September 7th, 2005 at 7:03 pm [Reply]

    Man, this really does not work on IE. Let me be the second to say that. Thank you, and Death to Gil Thorp.

  10. Beasley
    September 7th, 2005 at 7:56 pm [Reply]

    ISLA – It seems to work okay on Mozilla/Firefox. And, by the way, IE sucks and is open to letting your computer getting fucked up. Switch, please?

    By the way, the tiny font and microscopic “said by” lines really need to be adress once you’re back from holiday, dear Josh. :)

  11. Beasley
    September 7th, 2005 at 7:57 pm [Reply]

    uhm…I meant “addressed”. ;)

  12. Zorba the Geek
    September 7th, 2005 at 8:22 pm [Reply]

    I use Mozilla Firefox, and I agree with Beasley. You need to download it and use it as your browser, Isla.

  13. Beasley
    September 7th, 2005 at 8:36 pm [Reply]

    Let’s all gang up on ISLA for being an IE “hanger-on”! Nyah, nah nah naa nyaaah!

    ;)

  14. Maughta
    September 7th, 2005 at 9:27 pm [Reply]

    By the way, the shirts look verra verra nice. I must pick one up at some point, although I’m really waiting for the MW dropped swans shirts. Either that, or “Member of the Mark Trail Country Club (no Vice-Presidents or their murderous wives allowed)”.

  15. Zorba the Geek
    September 7th, 2005 at 9:54 pm [Reply]

    #13: Beasley, that’s not very nice. No more Greek recipes for you if you persist in trying to gang up on Isla.

  16. Beasley
    September 7th, 2005 at 10:21 pm [Reply]

    You drive a hard bargain, ZORB! ;)

  17. JB
    September 8th, 2005 at 5:07 am [Reply]

    Dilbert censoring has been going on for some years. Here’s an extract from one of Scott Adams’ DNRC letters:

    “Date: November 2000

    An eighth of an inch of Wally’s butt crack was visible in the original drawing. I was informed that readers would complain that Wally’s butt crack was destroying the moral fiber of the planet, so we removed the butt crack line from the print version and included it in the web version.”

    The full text is available here:
    http://www.dilbert.com/comics/dilbert/dnrc/html/newsletter31.html

  18. Monkeys Uncle
    September 8th, 2005 at 7:30 am [Reply]

    A little off topic but I must point this out,

    http://www.chron.com/content/chronicle/comics/archive/showComick.mpl?date=20050908&name=Spiderman

    dumbest babys ever!

    DTGT

  19. Smitty Smedlap
    September 8th, 2005 at 7:37 am [Reply]

    In the absence of Firefox, I am employing Internet Explorer.

  20. Sheila
    September 8th, 2005 at 8:03 am [Reply]

    Well, at the risk of having all the Firefox people mock me mercilessly… I go to this blog through an AOL portal. And I can’t figure out how to make the text bigger — it’s too small for my baby boomer eyes. Soooo, I’m now viewing it through IE, where at least I know how to increase the text size! But that’s kind of a pain. Anybody know how to make text bigger in AOL?

    No big surprises in the comics this morning… Oh, well, there’s always tomorrow!

  21. payola
    September 8th, 2005 at 9:21 am [Reply]

    If you’re using Firefox and your presbyopia poses problems, just remember ctrl +.

  22. JohnnyC
    September 8th, 2005 at 9:52 am [Reply]

    thanks for the control +/= hint. it worked!

  23. Mibbitmaker
    September 8th, 2005 at 9:52 am [Reply]

    Today:

    A3G: The next panel after the last one, Luann inexplicably says, “That’s a very funny joke”, to the puzzled horror of all present.

    Sally Forth: Face it, Hillary, it’s just that nobody in school likes you. Period. If you saved the life of a popular person there, everyone’d hate you for messing up his/her hair. You’re doomed, Hillary. Give up!

    (DT)GT: We got another T-shirt here: “Advil Boy”. Also, since beer is the state religion in this culture, it’s too ironic to call an infidel like that a “saint”.

    Dilbert: DUHHHH, I must be a cuhmplete moron onna counta, I’m not femay-uhl…uhhhh, what’s this flat thing on the side of the room… *bonk!* duh, why can’t I go through it…. duhhh*bonk!!* Uh, hey, I fergot howe tuh spel. WudddooIdoo nou?%^ njhui4w99n4)(&n.kk

    Garfield: “How unfortunate and how so very strange”. Congrats, kitty, you just summed up your entire strip!

    Curtis: Curtis just won Best Margo Head Bobble! It was no contest. Congratulations, Curtis!

    Foxtrot: Take one Fox matriarch with a Nintendog to induce vomiting.

    FBOFW: Wow, that Becky is destructive! I don’t believe Yoko broke up the Beatles, but, man, I just wanna call Becks “Yoko” so bad just the same!

  24. Mibbitmaker
    September 8th, 2005 at 9:57 am [Reply]

    …I mean, seriously, I always thought he was an idiot because he was the “pointy-haired boss”! And I thought pointy-haired bosses were *special*. Or at least “special”. How disillusioning…

  25. chuck
    September 8th, 2005 at 11:12 am [Reply]

    Looking at this site in IE, the text is super small and light — worse today than in Firefox yesterday

  26. joeyjoejoe
    September 8th, 2005 at 11:37 am [Reply]

  27. joeyjoejoe
    September 8th, 2005 at 11:38 am [Reply]

    I mean, #7.

  28. joeyjoejoe
    September 8th, 2005 at 11:53 am [Reply]

    OK, I know I ask a lot of questions, but why does everyone refer to Gil Thorp as “(DT)GT”? What is the “DT”?

  29. Tommyp
    September 8th, 2005 at 12:08 pm [Reply]

    Maybe the “R” rated Dilbert is in honor of Josh’s GREEK honeymoon. It’s nice to know the artists are paying attention to your site, Josh!!!

  30. Smitty Smedlap
    September 8th, 2005 at 12:19 pm [Reply]

    Triple-J (#28) — DTGT is shorthand for “Death To Gil Thorp.”

  31. joeyjoejoe
    September 8th, 2005 at 12:20 pm [Reply]

    I am pretty sure that yesterday’s “Hagar the Horrible” makes no sense. I mean, is it supposed to just be a kind of public service announcement, or, like…an explanation of some concept everyone was already pretty clear about? If that’s the case (I have read it numerous times, trying to find another possible meaning to these words, and can find none), I have to ask: why bother?

    It is almost as though it is a parody of “Hagar,” a la the “Dilbert” parody from “Family Guy”:

    “Hey Dilbert, what do you call it when someone in middle management goes all the way to upper management?”
    “I don’t know. What do you call it?”
    “A promotion.”
    “Oh. Thanks. Here’s a memo.”

    Or maybe, MAYBE…it was typo. Maybe it was supposed to say, “It’s when you get one beer for the price of two,” implying that all of one’s friends will show up at happy hour (as they do in the second panel of the comic) and make one buy them drinks, thus causing the buyer to receive only one beer for each two that he purchases. Still not that funny, but at least it is an actual joke.

  32. Islamorada Girl
    September 8th, 2005 at 12:22 pm [Reply]

    Fear not, Zorba. The Bease is going to drive all the way from Boca del Vista Phase 2 to Maryland overnight to install Firefox on my ancient iMac.
    Arn’ja, Bease?

    Joey–We say “death to Gil Thorp” in the same spirit Osama Bin says “Death to America.” It’s just a mind bogglingly bad strip.

    And while our beloved Josh is probably fully preoccupied with his pre-wedding whirl, the beloved blog still looks lousy in IE.

  33. Moesy
    September 8th, 2005 at 1:00 pm [Reply]

    Since I do most of my CC Reading at work, I have no choice but to view it on IE & woohoo, tuff reading these past few days. I might have to actually do some work to save my eyes :-)

  34. Cottontail
    September 8th, 2005 at 1:06 pm [Reply]

    Re: Today’s Dilbert where stupid pointy haired boss can’t tell the difference between a fax and a shredder.

    Lame men’s restroom punchline notwithstanding, I found it funny. I used to work with a bunch of idiots with PhD’s who couldn’t figure out how to send a fax or fix a paper jam in the copier. Always had to come to the “dumb” secretary (yours truly) for assistance. I wouldn’t have resented it so much if some of them (not all, mind you, just some) hadn’t treated me like I was so far beneath them, until they needed my help with simple technology. I just had to say, I can relate to PHB’s secretary there… now I’ll get off my soapbox.

  35. Library Cat
    September 8th, 2005 at 1:12 pm [Reply]

    I don’t understand Sally Forth’s priorities. She shells out thousands to repair the cat but she can’t spend eight bucks at Supercuts to get her kid’s hair trimmed so the other kids will stop teasing her.

  36. PizzaBagel
    September 8th, 2005 at 1:42 pm [Reply]

    Triple-J, thanks for bringing up yesterday’s “Hagar the Horrible.” I was going to point out that it appears – particularly in panel two – that the rest of the village is ablaze. Notice the flames outside the pub’s swinging door, and see how Lucky Eddie is casting his gaze in that direction with a look of gloom – while all the other fellows at the bar ar smiling at the prospect of half-price suds. I’m hoping that that is what is going on in the strip. Hagar will stumble home in the wee hours and realize that his house has been reduced to a pile of ashes, and that his family has been burned beyond recognition. Better get Dr. Zook to check his dental records in order to identify the victims.

  37. Nom du Jour
    September 8th, 2005 at 2:19 pm [Reply]

    “I don’t understand Sally Forth’s priorities. She shells out thousands to repair the cat but she can’t spend eight bucks at Supercuts to get her kid’s hair trimmed so the other kids will stop teasing her.”

    The cat does not smirk at her.

  38. Library Cat
    September 8th, 2005 at 2:28 pm [Reply]

    Well, not that we know of anyway.

  39. Sassy_Rocks
    September 8th, 2005 at 4:24 pm [Reply]

    Boyd was bitten by a leaping raccoon in his back yard. WHY would his doctor assume that they had captured the right animal at the time and HOW does he know now it was the wrong raccoon? One can only assume medical personnel in LoFo are as incompetent and impotent as the law enforcement figures who gladly shirk their duty and let Mark Trail do the police work for them, vigilante style.

  40. DRilL
    September 8th, 2005 at 5:16 pm [Reply]

    Comics you guys don’t seem to talk about…

    …but are definitely worth following:
    -The Piranha Club
    -Monty
    -Adam @ Home

    I mean, what’s up with following these crappy soap -opera style strips? Mark Trail has never made sense and, from the sound of it, I guess I’m glad we don’t get Gil Thorpe or Apt 3G in our local rag.

    The drawn out soap opera style became obsolete around the time moving images got sound! Or are you guys just waiting for Prince Valiant to return to a full page, full color format like the good old days?

    Check out these other strips sometime. Especially Piranha Club. Really good stuff.

  41. Maughta
    September 8th, 2005 at 6:45 pm [Reply]

    #40–Ummm, yeah, you see, we like to mock. Mock mock mock mock mock. It’s no fun mocking the good comics (however, in my opinion even the good ones are sometimes bad and, therefore, mockable). You have to resort to the soap strips for some good ole mockability. Then you can have a rolicking good mockfest. Plus, some of us are just in it for the schadenfreude, i.e. we like to watch sinking ships and burning houses to see just how bad it could possibly get.

  42. gnome de blog
    September 8th, 2005 at 7:00 pm [Reply]

    Re 40 & 41:

    Not to mention Dominican villages lead-poisoned by the family of the mysterious, electric-blue chap who hastily proposed to our lovely blonde heroine.

    However, compared to Mark Trail, this is literature. Compared to Mark Trail, (Death To) Gil Thorp is literature. I respectfully nominate the current Mark Trail story line as the worst of the year. I hope Boyd bites everybody.

    Death To Mark Trail

  43. Islamorada Girl
    September 8th, 2005 at 9:23 pm [Reply]

    If you wish really hard, maybe Mark will die of rabies!
    If only. If only. This Scottish play in the wilderness is death to material, for sure.

  44. Lor
    September 8th, 2005 at 9:46 pm [Reply]

    Tip for (DT)IE users: you can increase the font size by clicking View, then Text Size, and choose a larger size.

    The text is still all washed out, which not even Tools/Internet Options/Colors seems to be able to fix, but at least you won’t need a magnifying glass.

  45. Skooter
    September 8th, 2005 at 10:51 pm [Reply]

    Mary Worth – How long do you think it will take for Rita’s cousin Victor to move into Mary’s crash pad?

    Rex Morgan – Why wasn’t there a giant battle of the combovers?

  46. PizzaBagel
    September 9th, 2005 at 12:10 am [Reply]

    Re #45: Vic Begler – he sounds like a used-car salesman – is on the way, kids. But maybe he’ll stay with Jeff – and ferret out the doctor’s extensive collection of porn. (“You can break my porcelain swans, but I’ll be damned if you flip through my Penthouses!!!”)

  47. Mibbitmaker
    September 9th, 2005 at 12:46 am [Reply]

    Another comment for #40:

    We do the serial strips because, to do the good strips (except when, as noted above, they, too, do badly) would be like Mystery Science Theater 3000 (RIP) showing Citizen Cane.

  48. Mibbitmaker
    September 9th, 2005 at 12:54 am [Reply]

    #34, your situation sounds like you worked for a whole company filled with “pointy-haired boss” types. The strip’s punchline had “entire male gender” about it. Our numbers have plenty of idiots and jerks, but many of us aren’t like that.

    [exceedingly ironic joke]…now, get me some coffee, underling![/just kidding]

  49. Cottontail
    September 9th, 2005 at 10:20 am [Reply]

    How do you take your coffee, Mibbit? I actually worked for the *ahem* government. That might explain a lot!

  50. Islamorada Girl
    September 9th, 2005 at 4:45 pm [Reply]

    Rabies! We want rabies! Death to BoydCorp!

  51. Tim Grant
    September 23rd, 2005 at 7:19 am [Reply]

    Good to see some intelligent text on a plain t-shirt.
    Rabies would be cool.

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