PLUGOPALYPSE NOW
Pluggers, 10/14/09
Oh my goodness, it’s lucky for all of us that pluggers are honest, simple folk who don’t want to make a fuss and certainly don’t go out and “protest injustice” like some kind of God-damned hippie, because otherwise this news would cause every small-to-midsized town in Real America to go up in flames, consumed by riots that make the 1999 Seattle WTO protests look like a garden party. In fact, our spokesdog looks distinctly nervous, as if he’s going to read this communique as quickly as possible and then flee back inside Pluggers HQ so that he won’t be pelted by vegetables. Use the devil’s e-mail? What do you take us for, communists?
Ha ha, I kid! It’s well known that an elite segment of the plugger population has mastered 20th-century technology; now it appears we’ll be getting entries exclusively from these folks until this whole Post Office to-do is worked out. It will be an interesting anthropological study to see if we can detect any difference in the content of the submissions. For instance, will there be fewer cartoons about the difficulties of picking up AM radio broadcasts and more about how none of these newfangled Websites seem to work with Netscape Navigator 4?
(By the way, if the post office where your P.O. Box is closes down, can’t they just forward your mail to your new P.O. Box? Am … am I missing something?)
Mark Trail, 10/14/09
Hey, Sideburned Poacher Dude, I know it’s literally impossible for any character in Mark Trail to refrain from verbalizing his every thought, and I know it’s pretty shocking to see someone who you did an extremely half-assed job of killing still alive, but there’s no need to shout, OK? Mark and Bob are close enough to see your word balloons emerging from the bushes! It’s like you want to get punched in the face!
“HOW DID HE STAY ALIVE?” is now my new go-to exclamation of surprise at the unexpected appearance of my enemies, by the way. “God, look at him … breathing … digesting … refusing to die … how does he do it?”
Curtis, 10/14/09
You know, I give Curtis a lot of crap for being almost unbearably corny — as it has for the last two weeks, say, as Curtis’s dad has complained about someone stealing his delicious tuna-fish sandwich every day from the work fridge, and Curtis has plotted vengeance against those who would harm the Wilkins clan, stealthily replacing today’s sandwich with one made out of cat food. But by God, this strip has some craft. I have to admire the three panels of Curtis’s runaway panic manifesting itself physically — pupils dilating, sweatballs flying, and his finally his lunch attempting to escape his gullet with a mighty BLORK! as he desperately clutches his throat to prevent vomit from staining his beloved red sweatshirt. It made me laugh, even if nothing about the actual plot did.
Blondie, 10/14/09
Ha ha! It’s funny because Alexander’s “girlfriend” is a prostitute!
October 14th, 2009 at 4:35 pm
Plugger management is still using 14.4 dial up…but don’t try to call them when they’re using that new pentium computer- you’ll get a busy signal.
October 14th, 2009 at 4:38 pm
meanwhile in Mary Worth, Dr Jeff is about to pull the plug on Officer Scott….
October 14th, 2009 at 4:39 pm
Alexander spent all his money on pay-per-view porn…
October 14th, 2009 at 4:39 pm
Wow, “He looks like the man we left unconscious on the swamp bank” almost passes “You stole a friend of mine’s bear” as the least likely dialogue ever to emerge from Mark Trail.
October 14th, 2009 at 4:40 pm
it’s getting lonely here…
October 14th, 2009 at 4:41 pm
DT: I hope this is the long-awaited Hi & Lois cross-over, and Fee Fi is the mutant son of Hi’s boss, Mr. Foofram.
A3G: I know everyone in this blog regularly makes fun of the coloring disasters in this strip, but the second panel today just cries out to be printed in b/w.
MW: It’s been clear from the very start that Scott is not in the Intensive Care Unit, but today it becomes apparent that he is in fact in the Intensive Neglect Unit. It probably has something to do with the Santa Royale Police Department’s major medical coverage. Our one ray of hope: if Hostess Twinkies and Cheese-Puffs are the favorite junk food of Pluggers, maybe salmon squares are the favorite junk food of Pull-the-Pluggers?
Cul de Sac: A Shakespearean punch line? I’faith, Mr. Otterloop, that are verily a fellow of infinite jest!
Today’s Non Sequitur should be required reading of all Americans. Unfortunately, the ones who would benefit from it most, don’t read.
October 14th, 2009 at 4:42 pm
I fully expect that post offices around the country are now going to be flooded with envelopes labeled: pluggermail@aol.com.
October 14th, 2009 at 4:42 pm
Billingsley has, as I’ve maybe mentioned before, has studied or is channeling the art of Bill Elder.
“God-damned hippie” – funny.
“Netscape” reference – more funny.
October 14th, 2009 at 4:49 pm
RMMD: I’d like to know what Quincy episode Baldy McPunkster stumbled out of. In real life, a punk would just say, ” ’s cool if you crash here, man. Got any spare change?”
October 14th, 2009 at 4:50 pm
That particular Plugger looks like he might demolish an average rural post office just by absentmindedly sitting on it.
October 14th, 2009 at 4:51 pm
Ha ha, “Blondie” is extra funny because Alexander’s “girlfriend” is the cheapest prostitute in town!
October 14th, 2009 at 4:54 pm
I still want to know what happened to Adrian’s engagement ring… went missing a few days ago.
October 14th, 2009 at 4:54 pm
Still catching up… “Get off my LAN” is pure gold.
Y14. Calico: well, the drawing she was doing while I noticed her tremble didn’t seem to suffer much for it, art-wise. It was a bedroom-dresser scene titled “Myself at 10″ with a child on her knees on a chair leaning towards the mirror with little pots of cold cream and lipstick and such on the dresser, posters on the wall and numerous magazines, comics and the like scattered on the floor. Curiously, one of the make-up pots was called “Stay Young” or words to that effect. The whole may be indicative or not of her mood.
As contrast, a good artist friend of mine, Gabriel Morissette, did his large-scale drawing as a two-parter: at the top, himself at his current age slaved over his drawing table, surrounded by tools and assignments; at the bottom, himself as a kid reading on his belly surrounded by comics. Each has a thought bubble leading to to the other scene. A hilarious, slightly poignant look at the reality of the business.
I so wish I had brought my camera to contrast the two.
Y44. Commodorejohn: if suddenly there were blue oranges in A3G, I’d have to applaud the colour monkees, obviously europeans, referencing the under-appreciated second and much less popular live-action Tintin movie from the 70s.
Y114. Lisa: Bridget seems to be airheaded only for certain things, and obtusely optimistic for others (maybe as a coping mechanism).
October 14th, 2009 at 4:55 pm
Guys, obviously she’s not a prostitute. It’s just that she’s the only non-prostitute that would willingly approach the spawn of Dagwood.
October 14th, 2009 at 4:55 pm
Blondie – No, Alexander. It’s Dagwood who can only afford the one girl. Who do you think we see you going to for money when you have a date? Your DAD! Dag must not be around. That’s why Alexander and Kelly are watching the telly. Not even any snacks. Even Blondie must be missing. Hey, Alexander. You’ve been abandoned!
October 14th, 2009 at 4:56 pm
The worst part about the “important announcement” in today’s “Pluggers” is that it’s far more entertaining and relevant than 80% of the “Pluggers” strips I’ve read.
Ah, perhaps the secret of Mark Trail’s punching success is revealed in today’s MT. Despite years of idiot man-child blundering against foes who are usually much better-equipped (and usually smarter) than him, Mark always comes out ahead. However, if they all share the common inability to distinguish “unconscious” from “dead,” we may be on to something. Besides an inability to know when Mark is permanently down, it’s possible these villains have an innate fear of sleep, confusing it with death. This naturally wears down their reserves so that Mark only has to stay alive a few weeks before his enemies simply drop from exhaustion. It’s possible he doesn’t even have to hit them very hard to achieve the effect.
I move that from now on, all “Curtis” strips end with Curtis trying to strangle himself and gagging. It makes for a much more pleasant reading experience.
I think I can complete the dialogue in today’s “Blondie:” “There’s only you, Kelly. After all, you are the most convincing depiction of a human that this strip has ever seen.”
October 14th, 2009 at 4:57 pm
(By the way, if the post office where your P.O. Box is closes down, can’t they just forward your mail to your new P.O. Box? Am … am I missing something?)
What? You expect these people to drive to some other post office to pick up mail?
October 14th, 2009 at 4:58 pm
Curtis: Curtis looks like some kind of anime character lost in Baltimore or Chicago or Philly or wherever Curtis is set.
October 14th, 2009 at 5:02 pm
“Thank you and sorry for the inconvenience of having to use an infinitely and demonstrably more convenient method of communication.” I also love how the official Plugger email address is an AOL address. How so very ignorantly plugger of them.
October 14th, 2009 at 5:05 pm
I wonder how many Pluggers submissions will be lost by people writing “pluggermail@aol.com” on the envelope before dropping it into the mailbox.
October 14th, 2009 at 5:06 pm
RRMD–I didn’t know that Big Head Star Trek Alien Dude was moonlighting in Rex Morgantown. Although there can’t be a lot of employment opportunities. Still, he was supposed to be part of a supersmart race. Oh, well, maybe he got into drugs.
October 14th, 2009 at 5:07 pm
Plug mail:
Way out here on the Left Coast, both my local outgoing mail collection box and local post office have been removed/ shut down. This is possibly the only thing I have in common with the loathsome, backward half-breeds in “Real America.”
Trail:
In an attempt to close the gap between my comics read and to-read, I have gotten a hold of a digital copy of Uncanny X-Men Vol. 1 (issues 1-40). The first issue looks and reads almost exactly like Mark Trail, albeit with more narration and less random talking animals.
Blondie:
Alexander lives in a universe were cell phones are ubiquitous but the words “going steady” haven’t caught on yet.
October 14th, 2009 at 5:08 pm
20. Naked Bunny with a Whip
The more the better!
October 14th, 2009 at 5:08 pm
Oh, and I forgot to say, Crankshaft?
HAHAHAhahahahhahahahaha.
But not at the joke. At his suffering, actually.
October 14th, 2009 at 5:12 pm
AN EMERGENCY PLUGGER WARNING HAS BEEN ISSUED FOR THE FOLLOWING AREAS:
UNITED STATES OF AMERICA
So, Curtis. What exactly is the problem? It’s not like whoever ate the sandwich noticed that there was cat food in it. As a matter of fact, I shared an office with a guy who ate a can of tuna every day, and I’d be hard-pressed to tell you the difference between tuna and cat food. Did Kwanzaa come early this year?
October 14th, 2009 at 5:13 pm
You’re a Plugger if you still use AOL.
October 14th, 2009 at 5:14 pm
The best part is, given the speed the newspaper comics operate at, the PO box issue is almost certainly resolved by now.
October 14th, 2009 at 5:21 pm
I have a weird mental picture of a Plugger attempting to access the internet with an Underwood Model 5 typewriter wired to an old telephone magneto.
October 14th, 2009 at 5:22 pm
In addition to upgrading to an AOL account you can also contact Plugger by sending a message to their pager.
October 14th, 2009 at 5:22 pm
Our first family cat, a white shorthair, used to love the old brand “Figaro” cat food.
I tell you, I hate tuna out of a can, but that stuff looked and smelled better than any human-oriented yeecch.
It had carrots and other veg, and looked reasonably nutritious.
October 14th, 2009 at 5:23 pm
#6 seismic-2 – Today’s Non Sequitur has an interesting premise, but it fails on two levels. First, name calling as political discourse is not funny. (I can’t decide if you are ignorant or stupid. Ha Ha. Everyone should read this. Oh, you probably can’t read. Ha Ha.) Second, the outlandish example it provides – They want to tax your use of gravity! – is too close to the truth. I am referring to Speaker Pelosi’s recent comments about implementing a Value Added Tax. A VAT may not tax your use of gravity, at least not directly, but it taxes pretty much everything else. So in the end, it seems to me that the condescending cynic at the counter is the ignorant one. Not funny.
October 14th, 2009 at 5:25 pm
While I feel bad for any of the people at the USPS branch that will be losing their jobs on the plus side they no longer have to handle chicken scratch handwritten envelopes from hillbillies, so thats a plus
October 14th, 2009 at 5:25 pm
Lisa and Niall,
RE: Bridget = Airhead.
Bridget is based on my wife, and I’m not really sure how to explain her since she is smart (as in clever) but overly trusting, niave, and HORRIBLE with money. I’m not sure what you call that.
In reall life her nickname is Pheobe, after the character on ‘Friends’ so, what would you call Pheobe from ‘Friends’?
I call my wife a ‘bubble’, and she thinks that’s cute.
Make of all this what you will. :)
October 14th, 2009 at 5:25 pm
Mail forwarding cards are one of those 19th century technologies Pluggers haven’t quite mastered yet. Fortunately, the even older technology of “AOL” is apparently still available to them. (I should know, my Dad is among those who insist on keeping his AOL address, despite the fact he still hasn’t mastered the microwave oven controls.)
October 14th, 2009 at 5:26 pm
So if the pluggers thing is an official announcement, couldn’t they actually draw a suit on the announcer that fit.
October 14th, 2009 at 5:28 pm
Next time you drive through a small town and see a post office just remember that the few people in that town generate more mail then all the plugger submissions.
October 14th, 2009 at 5:29 pm
35. Rob – He’s a Plugger. The only suit he has that’ll fit is the one he’ll wear at his own funeral.
October 14th, 2009 at 5:30 pm
Better send those submissions to the Pluggers address fast because they only have a few free hours left on that CD that aol mailed them.
October 14th, 2009 at 5:30 pm
I can’t wait, ten years from now pluggers will have an insightful strip about how hard it is to cancel your aol service.
October 14th, 2009 at 5:32 pm
Patrick wins this week
Marvin: If this plot about martians doesn’t end with a rectal probe joke, I won’t know what to think any more.
October 14th, 2009 at 5:36 pm
Is “Kelly” leaning into Alexander on purpose or are her breasts just so heavy she can’t sit upright?
October 14th, 2009 at 5:41 pm
30. Calico: I was surprised, after some Googling around, that Figaro cat food only went out of production in April 2009…I hadn’t seen it in YEARS!
October 14th, 2009 at 5:41 pm
@Ed Powers: If you’re going to use that as your wife’s nickname, shouldn’t you at least go to the trouble of learning how to spell “Phoebe”? Just sayin’.
October 14th, 2009 at 5:42 pm
You know I didn’t really mind the slow economy when it was just people losing jobs or their homes, but now that its effected plugger submissions, well gosh darnit now we need to do something about it.
October 14th, 2009 at 5:44 pm
AOL is still around? What do they offer, that you can’t get anywhere else?
October 14th, 2009 at 5:45 pm
I just kinda always assumed that Plugger submission were by email. The thought that people pay money for a stamp, take the time to handwrite a submission and address the envelope and then walk it to mailbox all so that it might be turned into a cartoon of an animal doing some mudane task blows my mind.
October 14th, 2009 at 5:46 pm
re: 41. bup:
I think you should be more concerned that all the attractive women in Blondie have 18″ waists.
October 14th, 2009 at 5:47 pm
Pluggers everywhere can breathe a sigh of relief — in Brookins’ own words :
“Because of syndication deadlines, comic strips are produced several weeks in advance, so today’s “Pluggers” was drawn last month. I learned last week that our Post Office branch WILL remain open. I’ve drawn a follow-up panel announcing this news, which will appear early next month.”
October 14th, 2009 at 5:48 pm
“Thank you and sorry for the inconvenience” Umm Pluggers you might want to look up the word inconvenience. Providing a cheaper less time consuming way to submit isn’t really an inconvenience
October 14th, 2009 at 5:49 pm
The offical Pluggers P.O. Box is closing, I shudder to think what exactly was the unoffical Pluggers P.O. Box
October 14th, 2009 at 5:50 pm
#48 aloha_breeze – In the meantime, I look forward to a month of panic-stricken Plugger riots.
“Pluggers know that pitchforks and torches are a lot more effective than stupid hippie signs.“
October 14th, 2009 at 5:55 pm
Commodore, its only cheaper and easier if you already have a computer & internet access. And also have the computer skills to send the damn thing.
It’s cheap & easy if you’ve already sunk a grand or two into a computer and a connection, not to mention hours of training, is what I’m saying. Since the target audience for this comic is apparently lower middle class 50+ people, it really is an inconvenience to have to email their observation.
October 14th, 2009 at 5:56 pm
“The Plugger post office is in danger of being closed, because there is not enough mail to justify its continued operation.
To make absolutely sure that this post office will close, please stop sending mail to it.”
October 14th, 2009 at 5:58 pm
Patrick @ #7 has thrown me into a reverie. Believe It Or Not used to have a gag about various people who would address envelopes very cryptically yet the Post Office would SOLVE THE PUZZLE and deliver the mail anyway, somehow!
What has me wondering, though, is the chance that the Pluggers dude has an ulterior motive for wanting all further mail to arrive via email. Are angry Pluggers flooding the snailmail basket with mounds of garbled jive? Is it all too hatey? That’s not likely. Perhaps he WANTS more hatey mail? But that’s a head scratcher…
Or is there some odd reason he craves forwarded emails attached to forwarded emails attached to forwarded emails in a recursive nightmare such that you have to open about 12 layers of crap, with 100,000 email addresses attached too, before you come to the lolcat?
AHA! Pluggers has SOLD OUT! They will be submitting all the email addresses that come bundled in the emails to the DEATH PANELS!
October 14th, 2009 at 5:59 pm
You’re a Plugger if you write a comic strip that relies on submissions by people who typically use the US Postal Service and then tell them to stop using the US Postal Service, only to find out there was no reason to tell them that in the first place.
October 14th, 2009 at 6:02 pm
So Curtis is gagging because some other person ate a cat food sandwich? I don’t get it, what did he think would happen?
October 14th, 2009 at 6:05 pm
45 Lou Shumaker says: “AOL is still around? What do they offer, that you can’t get anywhere else?”
N.I.B. cases of Figaro.
October 14th, 2009 at 6:06 pm
Trying to catch up before the animation fesitva; starts. Highlight: on Saturday night, htere’s a new Wallace & Gromit short screened!
Pluggers: which is more of a plugger-worthy domain: aol, or geocities? Discuss(t).
Y234. MolyBendum, and Poteet and others with an aol address: well, that’s the thing, isn’t it? You’re on here, you have an aol address, but you’re not an asshole. Case closed. :)
Y252. Sequitur: I think “fidomy” is what’s going on in Marmaduke today.
October 14th, 2009 at 6:08 pm
#48 — that’s a relief ! I thought closing the Pluggers’ post office box was the signal for the Obamaton gun-confiscating socialist racist coup !
Just like the Nazis seized the radio stations !
October 14th, 2009 at 6:11 pm
58 Niall: I’m afraid it only leaves us as the Old Norse equivalent, aolshölen…
October 14th, 2009 at 6:12 pm
Pluggers: America Online?
What the morbidly obese dog is trying to say is that 1991 is the last time pluggers have been relevant to society.
October 14th, 2009 at 6:16 pm
Dick Tracy: This came across my interlibrary loan desk today. It’s a compilation of Dick Tracy comics from 1931-1933. It’s quite different from the Dick Tracy we know in 2009. First of all, there’s actual action even when there’s a lot of yakking the story is moving, the art is barely not as bad and the dialogue is right out of a typical 30’s crime flick. This is some of the milder stuff.
This is the dialogue from the January 6th 1932 strip:
Panel one: Tracy talking to cops outside in alley way.
Tracy: “Ok-Milligan, I’ve sent Mueller and Hendricks around to the rear–you and Brown guard the north entrance and Pat and I’ll go up and get ‘em.
Panel two: Tracy in raincoat leaning on hotel sign in counter.
Tracy: “Yeah, you heard me, clerk– what floor’s that gang of Hood’s on?
Clerk: “Third floor, room nine”
Panel three: Tracy and Pat striding up curved staircase, guns drawn.
Pat: “Gee, we must be taking ‘em absolutely by surprise–I haven’t seen any of their look outs yet.”
Tracy: Shut up. Do you wanta queer things?”
Final panel: Pat and Tracy at gang’s door. Tracy has both guns drawn.
Tracy: I’ll kick open the door, Pat–and remember– Drill the first rat that makes a move.”
October 14th, 2009 at 6:19 pm
Today’s “Pluggers” has generated the funniest comments ever. I cannot hope to be as witty as those who have come before me (particularly #7 and #38). But I would like to add: Pluggers have never used any version of Netscape. Pluggers all use I.E. 5.
October 14th, 2009 at 6:21 pm
Well Kelly, I was interested in this girl April, but she suddenly ceased to exist.
October 14th, 2009 at 6:27 pm
7. Patrick and 20. NakedBunnywithaWhip: I fear you may both be right about a few of those happening.
33. Ed Power: Hmm, my apologies, as it looks like I was very unclear on my meaning, after re-reading my comment! I guess I was trying to go more for the “slightly blind in a few areas” feel that you mention. I wouldn’t know about Phoebe since I’ve never seen even a single second of ‘Friends’. Make of that what you will. :)
48. aloha_breeze: Wow. There must have been a sigh of relief.. followed by choice words when realising the strip was just about to run. Had it been two weeks, I’d have hoped he’d do a quick substitution, but I doubt it works a week ahead. But do you realise you now have me looking forward to a Pluggers strip?? What has this site done to me!!
53. twit: much chuckling ensued.
Wow. When was the last time we talked so much about Pluggers? (No, that was only a rhetorical question! Don’t look it up!)
62. Patrick: WOW! Today, that would be a near month of strips!! All kidding aside, it’d take more than a week.
October 14th, 2009 at 6:29 pm
62 Patrick, Interlibrary Loan Lending Division
I’ve been picking those DT volumes up myself and enjoy them a great deal for the slice of life view of the 30s they provide. The pacing does indeed move at a steady clip, and Tracy’s a lot looser with civil rights back then.
October 14th, 2009 at 6:32 pm
Important announcement! Sending your inane observations and petty annoyances to Gary Brookins in the hopes of seeing them dramatized by hideous man-animals — or “manimals” — will no longer cost you a stamp and a trip to the mailbox! We apologize for this unfortunate frugality and convenience and hope to restore Pluggers to its labor-intensive glory as soon as possible.
MT: I see that the poacher, like most dark-haired males in Mark Trail, uses the Valvoline line of hair care products. But unlike Mark, the poacher apparently soaks up excess oil with his American-cheese-colored shirt.
October 14th, 2009 at 6:35 pm
Mary Worth – All we can do now, is wait….and pray.
And hope, which would be a third thing. The only four things we can do now is wait and pray and hope and watch and see what happens, which would actually be five things, but if one were agnostic or athiest, then one wouldn’t necessarily pray at all, and watching is almost the same as seeing, so that perhaps brings it back down to three things, not counting taking a quick break at the cafeteria.
There is actually an enormous number of things we could do now, including looking through wallpaper pattern books, chatting about air conditioners, maybe tracking down that super-cool Iggy Pop CD where he croons Autumn Leaves in French. In fact, all we can do now is, or maybe are, I forget which, limited only by our imaginations or the physical restraints on our lives in general.
Mary Worth – All we can do now, is whatever.
October 14th, 2009 at 6:36 pm
@ #50:
The official Pluggers P.O. Box is closing, I shudder to think what exactly was the unofficial Pluggers P.O. Box
The wooden “phone booth” with the crescent moon on the door?
October 14th, 2009 at 6:41 pm
Crank: That’ll teach ‘im to carelessly perch his ass on the ball return while arguing with his friends about how to score the tenth frame.
67 Joe Blevins says: “The poacher apparently soaks up excess oil with his American-cheese-colored shirt.”
As 15 Alan’s Addiction noted, these poachers must have a sleep phobia because they’re at it night and day. By day, this poacher launders his nocturnal income (though not his shirts) by acting as an incubator of Processed Cheese Food.
October 14th, 2009 at 6:48 pm
Whattup w/Spiderman’s villains and their kids?? They do terrible heinous crimes, but go all soft for their kids? First Electro and now Sandman. Is this common in SM? I haven’t followed him for that long. Just noticin’.
October 14th, 2009 at 6:49 pm
31, Wolf Shepard: Agreed on Non Sequitor. The joke relies on the tired old cliche about ‘faux noise’ and the popular assumption that people who disagree with you are willfully ignorant.
October 14th, 2009 at 6:53 pm
Stayin’ alive, stayin’ alive, ha ha ha ha…
October 14th, 2009 at 6:59 pm
Mutts: The acorn-beaning squirrel is a notorious trope in this strip. This one made me chuckle, because I’ve never seen Popeye curse quite so vigorously in his own strip. And the squirrel’s retort couldn’t be more apropos.
October 14th, 2009 at 7:00 pm
# 54 Jumper –
WOOD
JAMES MA
HILL
Delivered to James Underwood, Overhill, MA, back before ZIP codes.
October 14th, 2009 at 7:04 pm
AOL? Pluggers wonder why their Prodigy dial-up never seems to connect anymore.
October 14th, 2009 at 7:05 pm
You’re a plugger if you are boycotting the post office in the hopes that it will keep your local branch open.
October 14th, 2009 at 7:11 pm
Archie: Aw, lighten up, fellahs. You’re only giving a power-point presentation to Mister Weatherbee. And, as long as said presentation doesn’t involve the use of ladders, paint buckets, mop buckets, old jalopies or anything else Archie can use to otherwise injure Mr. W with, you should be okay.
Dick Tracy: Not only would Batman have escaped the tiger trap by now, he would have figured out a way to train the tiger to maim and kill everyone involved. Oh, I forgot who I was dealing with for a second, the story’s not over yet…
FOOB: Hm….talk about foreshadowing….be careful what you wish for, John…
Gasoline Alley: I don’t care what anyone else thinks….I wish I lived in Gasoline Alley. I haven’t seen uniforms that cool on ushers anywhere EVER.
Luann: Way to keep Gunther on that leash, Luann. She must have learned a thing or two from Toni Daytona…
Spider-Man: Ew, ew, ew, ewwwww…..
Sally Forth:
Cleanin’ Out The Closet
A Suburban Hiphopera
One dayyyy
Ted and Sally was sittin’ around…..
Sally sez, ” Ted, get off your fat ass, and clean out the closet…”
Ted says, ” Who, me?” Sally says, ” Yeah, you”…
Ted pulls out his gun….
But he can’t hold his gun cuz he got handz like a puuunk girrrrl…
(To Be Continued in 15 parts)
(No, not really)
My Cage: Let it go, Norm. Bridget will hold your hand one day as you pass from this mortal coil for the last time. So, let it go. Actually, I suppose Ashley would have too, but she’d also put a whoopee cushion in the casket.
Mary Worth: “…a quick break”…the hell? Is this some kind of self aware tv show and they think they have to break for a commercial? This strip gets weirder every day…
Judge Parker: Okay…..
Guy in orange jumpsuit who looks like J. Jonah Jameson: Bad.
Hot blonde lady in tight clothes who likes riding horses : Good.
Hot redheaded lady in tight clothes who likes painting the house all kinds of weird colors after eating hash brownies. Very good.
Family Circus: ” …and Lord? Never let Jeff Keane draw Dolly in a cheerleader outfit again, and only let Ed Baretto do so in Judge Parker. Keane can draw the kids in orange jumpsuits. Amen.:”
Blondie: Alexander’s girlfriend looks like the daughter of Dr. Orpheus from Venture Bros. Triana. That’s right. Had to look it up on Wikipedia, even though i’ve been watching it all week.
October 14th, 2009 at 7:12 pm
Is it wrong that I misread “Hey, Sideburned Poacher Dude” as “Hey, Sideburned Poacher Douche”?
October 14th, 2009 at 7:28 pm
MT: Sideburned-Poacher man is about to discover Mark’s deep dark secret – he’s a cyborg. A nerdy, nature-loving, asexual cyborg who loves punching people with facial hair. Now the real question: do sideburns count as facial hair?
October 14th, 2009 at 7:31 pm
Ya know, that Plugger dog guy sure looks like he’s scared of something!
October 14th, 2009 at 7:31 pm
several of you have been forgetting a critical pair of quotation marks when talking about today’s Blondie. As an illustrative example, I’m pretty sure Josh meant to write:
It’s “funny” because Alexander’s “girlfriend” is a prostitute!
October 14th, 2009 at 7:32 pm
81. was me. I’ll take the blame.
October 14th, 2009 at 7:33 pm
Credit where credit is due, despite their nebbish qualities and questionable haircuts, the Bumstead men manage to bag some pretty hot women.
well, slightly less cartoony women anyway.
October 14th, 2009 at 7:35 pm
Guy’s, AOL’s coming back. Technology is cyclical.
October 14th, 2009 at 7:35 pm
MW – Today’s strip is like that Twilight Zone episode called “Eye of the Beholder.” Everybody in the hospital looks like a freak (what’s up with Adrian’s eyes in the first panel, or Dr. Jeff’s nose in panel two?) Any minute now, I think Scott is going to wake up and discover that his surgery didn’t take, that he isn’t going to look anything at all like the “beautiful people” in Santa Royale and will have to be relocated to a place where he fits in. Like Lost Forest.
October 14th, 2009 at 7:36 pm
Guys, AOL’s coming back. Technology is cyclical.
October 14th, 2009 at 7:40 pm
How the hell do the Bumsteads attract women with MASSIVE breasts? Do they just go for beady eyes and bizarre, inexplicable hair?
October 14th, 2009 at 7:45 pm
I never, ever thought Pluggers would make me smile, but this strip has finally accomplished it by placing images in my head of pluggers all over the country staring in total confusion as the wry observations they tried to send to the new Pluggers address just seem to come back marked “return to sender – undeliverable as addressed”
October 14th, 2009 at 7:47 pm
88: Yes.
October 14th, 2009 at 7:51 pm
MW – Whew! Good thing Mary is there to take over. Now she can tell Adrian when to go to the bathroom and what to think about the food in the hospital. I fully expect Mary to pull out her bible and ask Adrian if she has ‘a personal relationship with Jesus’ at any moment. Meanwhile Dr Jeff looks lost like he has never seen such hi-falutin gadgets and Scott has been saved (yes,pun intended) by that band-aid on his neck.
October 14th, 2009 at 7:57 pm
GA: “Boip”, the guy goes?! Where the hell is this burleycue show, Canarsie?
October 14th, 2009 at 7:57 pm
Shouldn’t it be “Plugocalypse”?
October 14th, 2009 at 8:14 pm
Alexander is doing ok. he starts out life feasting on Blondie’s superhuman rack and by the time he’s in high school he’s got a girlfreind who’s sporting a pair of triple D’s.
October 14th, 2009 at 8:23 pm
Pluggers are in the 20th century – using AOL. The rest of us have moved forward.
If you want to know what a pain in the ass a Post Office closure is, consider the denizens of zip code 21092. Well, technically, that zip code no longer exists. And when it was blasted to oblivion, the mail was split; those getting home delivery were reassigned to 21057. Those who held one of the 30-or-so 21092 PO Boxes were reassigned to 21013. Except all of the 21013 PO Boxes were already rented out. As were all of the PO Boxes of 21057.
The area being largely rural, there were only two options: Drive ten miles or more to the nearest PO with available boxes and know that your mail was safe, or take the risk of using home delivery that would surely result in your mailbox being destroyed and your information being scattered to the winds.
Where was I going with this? I forget. Gosh, that Herb and Jamaal is one wacky comic!
October 14th, 2009 at 8:27 pm
Pluggers: So, does this mean since the Plugger post office is staying open, a plugger can’t e-mail a swell cartoon idea to the aol address? He can only submit it by snail mail, and not on the computer?
Curtis: WTF kind of a boss steals an employees sandwiches, admits it cause they’re so good (a tuna sandwich is so good?) but
the employee forgives the boss, and they “share a hearty laugh”?? “Oh, Boss, you scamp, you! You, who make 1,000 times more than me have been stealing my lunch I have to bring from home because I can’t afford to eat out? You nut, you! Haaw haw!)
October 14th, 2009 at 8:28 pm
Josh (because you did ask):
I assumed they don’t have a new P.O. box yet, whoever owns the old one (probably the syndicate) is too cheap to spring for a second one until they’re sure the old one will become unavailable.
What really amuses me is that the post office that handles all incoming Plugger mail apparently gets less business than most, despite the fact that Plugger mail has got to represent like 90% of all snail-mail correspondence conducted in America anymore.
October 14th, 2009 at 8:28 pm
MT: I’m really digging the color-changing shoulders of the Roscharch shirt the villan is wearing. Too bad the only thing Mark Trail sees in an ink blot test is facial hair.
October 14th, 2009 at 8:43 pm
I thought pluggers only get rural free delivery.
October 14th, 2009 at 8:59 pm
A plugger finally found a use for an AOL CD besides wind chimes or pizza cutters.
October 14th, 2009 at 9:03 pm
Holy cow, that’s not just any old “Sideburned Poacher Dude”, that appears to be three-time American League batting champion and potential 2009 AL Most Valuable Player Joe Mauer! I hope this doesn’t hurt his candidacy.
October 14th, 2009 at 9:15 pm
It appears Dogman McZootsuit is performing a Plugger download.
October 14th, 2009 at 9:22 pm
Is this AOL thing part of the hipster/plugger crossover? I’m imaging kids drinking PBR, with their trucker hats and then riding their fixies home to sit down in front of the computer and hear it speak “you’ve got mail.”
God, I hate hipsters.
October 14th, 2009 at 9:45 pm
Rex Morgan: Michael Stipe is going to get his ass kicked when Heinrich Himmler gets a hold of him..
October 14th, 2009 at 9:55 pm
Wow, check out the “BLORK! in today’s Curtis. It’s like it’s Don Martin’s birthday or something..
October 14th, 2009 at 9:57 pm
I don’t know who used my name at #90 but DON’T DO IT AGAIN!!!
October 14th, 2009 at 10:10 pm
PLUGGERS — I never did see a list of Iowa post offices on the hit list, so, reminded of that by this strip, I just tried finding one. All I could find, with my limited online skills, was a website where I was informed that the official USPS link that has the list of post offices proposed for closing is currently so overloaded with individuals trying to find out what I’m trying to find out that it can’t be accessed for now.
Yep, I’m a Plugger. Kill me now.
October 14th, 2009 at 10:16 pm
101. No worries. With his shouty, emphatic “IT IS HIM — WHAT’S GOING ON?” the Sideburned Poacher Dude emerges as a front-runner for the Captain Obvious Clue Impaired award. “HOW DID HE STAY ALIVE?” can take on so many meanings depending the word emphasized when uttered in measured tones. When shouted in a strained monotone to nobody in particular the phrase’s only purpose seems to be to provoke The One Who Punches Bad Guys With Facial Hair.
October 14th, 2009 at 10:19 pm
106. Poteet
I don’t think you’re a Plugger.
1. You don’t look like a Plugger.
2. You don’t smell like a Plugger.
3. You don’t sound like a Plugger.
4. You don’t snark like a Plugger (actually, Pluggers are incapable of snarking).
5. Pluggers can’t find this website.
All in all, I think you’re quite safe from being a Plugger.
Now, we don’t have to kill you.
Isn’t that special?
October 14th, 2009 at 10:27 pm
Please forgive me if this is ancient history to you kind folks. As a history fan I really enjoyed finding this site in which President Garfield takes on the role of Garfield. http://www.garfieldasgarfield.com/
October 14th, 2009 at 10:35 pm
FW: OK Les, it’s time to put your adolescent anxieties behind you. Show new still-alive Lisa 2.0 that you too are a jock, by finally conquering your old nemesis, the rope in gym class. Go back into the school and finally, for once in your life, actually succeed in climbing that sucker. Of course, first you had better tie the end of it to your neck,to catch you in case you slip off. Please please please please please
Pluggers: Way before AOL, and for that matter before Microsoft, DOS, or PCs, I used to have those UUCP E-mail addresses with all those exclamation points before the “at” sign and those long strings of domain names separated by periods after it. Does that make me:
(A) a Plugger
(B) a geek
(C) ancient and irrelevant
(D) a golf pro waiting for my student in a trailer in the rain
(E) boxcar
October 14th, 2009 at 10:37 pm
MW: Apparently the role of Jeff Cory will now be played by Jack Gilford.
October 14th, 2009 at 10:40 pm
BLORK ! works well with other strips, too !
http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3499/4013292360_0b6f024038_o.jpg
October 14th, 2009 at 10:40 pm
109. ralph
Well, that was amusing.
What’s next, a “Nancy” strip using Nancy Pelosi? Featuring that Sluggo from Saturday Night Live?
October 14th, 2009 at 10:46 pm
FW: Les starts to panic as he realizes it’s only a matter of time before his girlfriend stuffs him in a locker.
October 14th, 2009 at 11:11 pm
You know, I just had to do it.
October 14th, 2009 at 11:12 pm
seismic-2, do you have fond memories of the Tech Model Railroad Club and remember these?
http://www.strobedata.com/home/pdp6.jpg
October 14th, 2009 at 11:14 pm
110: I think it makes you a computer programmer….
Ed Power, thanks for the info regarding Bridget. I feel a kinship with her today because I too have trouble with money, esp. checking accounts.. haven’t had one for about 20 years.
October 14th, 2009 at 11:15 pm
# 108 Sequitur — Thank you most kindly. The “smell” part was especially reassuring.
# 109 ralph — I found that inexplicably amusing.
# 110 seismic-2 re Pluggers — HAR!
October 14th, 2009 at 11:24 pm
It’s a bad idea to count on any creature being willing to eat Mark Trail. A steady diet of unbridled machismo, vapid bravery, and punching mustaches has made him tough and leathery. Add in a khaki suit that is worn every day and hasn’t been washed in several decades and you have a package that even a starving hyena would think twice before munching on.
October 14th, 2009 at 11:32 pm
@89: Surely you mean a rubber stamp that would say “Return to sender
Address unknown
No such number
No such zone.”
October 14th, 2009 at 11:38 pm
Am I a plugger if I remember and prefer AOL diskettes to AOL CDs because they made better coffee cup coasters?
October 14th, 2009 at 11:40 pm
If Alexander could secretly film Kelly’s “girl talk” visits to Cookie’s room, he could sell it on the internets and his money problems would be over!
October 14th, 2009 at 11:43 pm
MY CAGE — I’ve wondered before if Bridget, with her personal charm and money difficulties, might possibly have a mild case of adult ADD. And then I figured I was being overly analytical.
October 14th, 2009 at 11:44 pm
H&J: “Yep, my boss admitted to being the one who’s been taking my sandwiches?” Are cartoonists paid by the word? Why not “My boss admitted to stealing my sandwiches.” Punchier. It would also have been punchier if had punched out his boss. Mark Trail can’t have all the fun. “Forgiving” your boss has a Stockholm Syndrome feel to it.
October 15th, 2009 at 12:01 am
You mean Curtis?
October 15th, 2009 at 12:11 am
#116 Jumper – Ah, the PDP-6. Nope, I never even saw one of those – they were too far ahead of their time (IMHO), and as a result DEC sold very few of them. I was using the much more modest PDP-8 instead. The advanced architecture of the PDP-6 really had to wait for introduction of the PDP-10 (which I did use) before it caught on. Ah, the lovely clacking sounds of the 10’s paper tape reader/punch!
Brings a tear to my eye. Yeah, we Pluggers never could figure out how to use those AOL disks, because for some reason they wouldn’t fit into the disk drive. (At the right of that photo is of course the console of an IBM 360, which I probably spent more time using than any other computer ever, which is typical since it was practically “the” computer for much of the mid 1960s through early 1980s. I suspect quite a few Pluggers on this blog still have a “Snoopy” calendar that they printed out on a 360 – ‘fess up!)
October 15th, 2009 at 12:14 am
10/15 MW — OOH! OOH! This is exciting! What will Jeff do??!
(1) Say a brief prayer.
(2) Turn off the oxygen.
(3) Suck Scott’s giant pickle.
(4) Whisper an offer to Scott of $200,000 in cash if he’ll recover, marry Adrian, and take her to live in Tierra Del Fuego.
October 15th, 2009 at 12:15 am
I too preferred AOL disquettes… because with the flip of a switch they were eraseable and reusable. :) The CDs just made ineffective coasters.
The Blork montage was priceless.
110 Seismic-2: I never had a bang address, only a Bitnet one, but I received some from UUCP. Ah, the times when they were encouraging university students to bang online…
After a particular Batiukesque program of animation shorts, I’m looking forward to tomorrow night when an online DJ friend has unearthed and will play the rare Peter and the Wolf by Weird Al and Wendy Carlos. Side-splittingly hilarious. It’s good to have something fun to look forward to.
October 15th, 2009 at 12:17 am
KarMann @ 43,
“@Ed Powers: If you’re going to use that as your wife’s nickname, shouldn’t you at least go to the trouble of learning how to spell “Phoebe”? Just sayin’.”
Not really. I don’t call her that. I think she acts more like Daisy from ‘Spaced’.
Oh and, oddly enough, it’s Power. No ’s’ at the end.
Oh, and Poteet,
My wife does have adult ADD. Good call on that. :)
October 15th, 2009 at 12:23 am
Wednesday
Curtis – You’ve just rediscovered Kram-Mar’s Mystery Delicious Appetizer.
Dick Tracy – I keep extending the time between readings of this strip, to see how intermittently I can read it without missing any significant advancements in the plot. Every seven or eight days seems about right at this point.
Popeye – I am certain that if I had read the words “Spinachovian Air Force” without being shown what that was, the very same image still would have formed in my mind. Get out of my head, Popeye!
Marmaduke – Given the extreme difference in size between these two animals, the consequences of any actual mating activity between them are too appalling to contemplate. So I’m telling myself that he really just wants to eat her.
October 15th, 2009 at 12:25 am
# 129 Ed Power — Thanks! I’ll be even more interested in Bridget now.
October 15th, 2009 at 12:32 am
JP — I’m desperately trying to find a reason to get interested in this storyline. Couldn’t Henry be provided with a really large set of bazooms?
October 15th, 2009 at 12:33 am
129. Niall: and Bob the Janitor, performed by the accordian!!
October 15th, 2009 at 12:39 am
I don’t know what it is, but “Blondie” is one of the few comics I can really enjoy without irony. It probably has something to do with the fact that every woman under seventy-five years old is rendered with unmitigated hotness.
October 15th, 2009 at 12:59 am
#135 NSP –
Hotness, yup, but genial goodwill, too — everybody gets fun poked at them (even, if rarely, Blondie), but nobody gets ridiculed. I put it up there with Sherman’s Lagoon and the late, lamented They’ll Do it Every Time.
And Fred Bassett and Henry. There. I said it. Shoot me.
October 15th, 2009 at 1:17 am
Since when did Wolverine end up in Mark Trail? Wasn’t he seeing Broadway shows with Spider Man a couple weeks ago?
October 15th, 2009 at 1:27 am
#128 Poteet – My money’s on a big sloppy, tear streamed kiss as Rogers and Hammerstein plays in the background.
That, or he’ll steal Scott’s keys in order to get more of his rockin’ orange suits.
October 15th, 2009 at 1:29 am
About Pluggers: The post office location where I kept my PO box, which I use for my business, did close down last year. Here’s what happens:
Should USPS decide to close down your local post office, a copy of your PO box will be built in the nearest remaining post office location, and you will be given the key about a month before the closing, along with a full explanation of when your box is moving and where to find it. After the close, you just go to the other office and keep getting your mail. The people who send you mail will be none the wiser because YOUR ADDRESS NEVER CHANGES. No mail is lost. There is no forwarding. You just start going to another building to get your mail.
In other words, the caption should read, “Pluggers freak out about absolutely nothing.”
October 15th, 2009 at 1:43 am
MW: Is it too much to hope that Dr Corey is going to smother Scott with his pillow to save Adrian the agony of watching her fiance’ as a vegetable? Sadly, we all know he’s just going to pray for him, or ask him to get well for Adrian’s sake, or, most cloying and therefore most likely, give Detective Scott his consent to marry his daughter. And, of course, this will instantly cure him, because nothing brings someone out of a coma like nausea.
October 15th, 2009 at 2:04 am
Thursday’s Comics:
Cathy: I’m not Fashion Police, but doesn’t that dress emphasize Cathy’s
giganticsupersizedmassive ass?Mary Worth: Is this where the elder Dr. Cory takes the blessed salmon squares out of his pocket and shoves them into Scott’s mouth and nose, both killing Scott and framing Mary for the deed?
Mary Worth, part 2: Is this where the elder Dr. Cory takes the blessed salmon squares out of his pocket and prays to the shrimp scampi god to save Scott?
Pluggers: Come on, look at those shifty eyes and shovel. He’s just buried the bearman in the CD shelter. There’s only one other plugger not senile who remembered that place exists and he’s 6 feet below 100 cans of 1952 C-rations.
Luann: Gunth, we all do that after reading this strip. Not just today, always.
Bizarro: I did not see that coming. Onion, not ‘Onion.’
One Big Happy: I did not see that coming.
Garfield: OMG! It actually used a technology meme correctly and almost was almost funny.
Sally Forth: Ces, moat on the second floor? You’ve been hanging around Donald Trump too much.
Slylock Fox: Yay! None of the 6 Differences involved the main character. I’m still waiting for the one where all differences are on the main character.
October 15th, 2009 at 2:10 am
Tom the Dancing Bug has Super-Fun-Pack-Comix, which are always great. This week has one that’s a Mark Trail parody:
http://www.salon.com/comics/boll/2009/10/15/boll/index.html
October 15th, 2009 at 2:14 am
@110 ralph: There is only one proper response to that. Whether or not it is true. Wondermark is always proper.
@139 Nomad: That’s priceless. You’d think the syndicate could have at least checked about that.
Herb and Jamaal: *sigh* Another one of these things. Seems cartoonists are gradually discovering us.
Luann: Actually, she and Elwood are perfect for each other; they’re both insufferably vain. Or does that only work in My Cage?
One Big Happy: Should I be concerned how that even came up?
October 15th, 2009 at 2:34 am
Archie: Jughead, maybe you wouldn’t eat everything if you gave Cammie your jacket. Once she’s warm, she’d be so grateful she’d warm up your “special place” with her mouth. Possibly more than once. She may even bring out a turkey leg to warm up the other place.
Curtis: Apparently Curtis saw today’s Cathy. Or any day’s Cathy.
October 15th, 2009 at 2:39 am
10/15 Snuffy: Li’l Tater is a Canadian! Who knew?
October 15th, 2009 at 2:40 am
My brother, the advocate for Technocracy and suchlike, the one who does his chatroom visits via microphone because typing is soooo 20th century, the one who reacted with sheer incomprehension when I needed a written check from him because he no longer uses checkbooks, STILL has an AOL address. The fate of the early adopter is to be shackled by the constraints of the pioneers. (And before you can say “well he can always change his address” — can you imagine after all these years how many places he’d have to register an address change? Brrrrrrrr!)
Frankly, it’s as a reaction to him that I have sympathy for pluggerdom. I’ve been going along life happily doing things a certain way without annoyance, why must I be treated with scorn (or even worse, as if I were an alien creature) just because I haven’t shifted to the new shiny way, the way destined to be scorned in its turn six months from now? God knows I’d rather be a plugger than a hipster: forever chasing after the next in-thing strikes as me being the pinnacle of conformity and damn exhausting to boot. In fact, let me declare : ICH BIN EIN PLUGGERCHEN. Kill me if you DARE!
October 15th, 2009 at 2:44 am
#81 Sequitur: THAT’S NOT ME!
October 15th, 2009 at 2:58 am
YOU MUST SEE THIS.
http://www.pvponline.com/2009/10/13/harvey-animation/
A Blamination about Prince Valiant tearing into a few well-snarked characters on here to a well-known speech. Brilliant.
(Vimeo embedded link)
October 15th, 2009 at 3:22 am
MW: At first I thought Jeff wanted to be alone with Det. Boyfriend so he could pull the plug but then I realized that Jeff knows if Det. Boyfriend goes to the big SantaRoyMart in the sky, he-Jeff-will be stuck with that badly coiffed drama queen for the rest of his already miserable life. Given that he’s already stuck with his badly coiffed daughter, it was just too much for him to bear. He snapped.
So while Mary is putting the pedal to the meddle with Adrian down in the cafeteria, Jeff will be leaning over the patient and hissing, “I am NOT going to lose out on this chance to unload that loser daughter of mine. My life sucks enough with that white-haired harpy constantly shrieking about her goddamned salmon squares. There ain’t enough potato-ade in the world to keep me from doing whatever it takes, up to and including tracking down a voodoo priestess to zombify you, to keep you alive!”
October 15th, 2009 at 4:09 am
@149 Farey’s Revenge: If Jeff brings back Scott as a zombie, what would we call the movie adaptation? “Dawn of the Meddle”? “Weekend at Mary Worth’s”? “28 Days Later Not Much Has Happened”?
October 15th, 2009 at 5:00 am
Beetle – Haha…Beetle practically walked up and said “Honey, are you ok?”
Bizarro – Yes, you have to be careful with girls and their onion. I recommend Anal Eaze unless you’re experienced. Spit’s more fun though…keeps it real.
Dennis – Dennis menaces…..with his charm.
Incest Circus – ”Well, Dolly, you remember the other night when I was showing you how mommies and daddies make babies…..”
One Big Happy – Underwear on the head is always funny. Always. I still do that. And I laugh and I laugh…
Pluggers – You are not a Plugger if you think CD means Cross Dressing or Corporal Discipline. You’re just kinky.
Sicks Chicks – Grrrr….Anne Gibbons. Well, at least I think I understand this one. I’m starting to think this chick drops a lot of acid and that this is something I would like if I would just free my mind. Pass me the red pill, Morpheus.
October 15th, 2009 at 5:44 am
YesterPluggers: I was so sure this was some kind of trick to make old people use email, but Brookins’ update puts the kibosh on that idea. Huh.
Thursday Archie: Jughead has been hinting for years. It’s no longer a hint, Jughead. When it comes to gaydar, you don’t ping, you gong.
Jumble: Jumble is too hard for me. There, I said it.
October 15th, 2009 at 6:39 am
I’ll bet Ted Forth enjoyed today’s Lio.
October 15th, 2009 at 7:11 am
A3G: I just want Aristotle to scream “Bitch, look at me when I talk to you!” He’s been circling her like a shark all week and she keeps turning away. And put down the fruit!
October 15th, 2009 at 7:24 am
MW: “Don’t worry, son. I saw this in Million Dollar Baby. I’m supposed to end your suffering. No, no, don’t struggle! Oh crap, he’s waking up! Better use the pillow! Damn! Maybe if I hit him with the lamp…”
(Continue in a Jerry Lewis fashion for the next 15 minutes.)
October 15th, 2009 at 7:36 am
Plugger Dogman has an awfully tiny head. Did Bugs Bunny fix him up with a dose of alum (whatever that is)?
October 15th, 2009 at 8:05 am
Pickles: Yup, there it is: the reason for Mark Trail’s continued presence on the comics pages.
FC: Oh, Dolly, you were just a
twinkle in your parents’ eyeshorrific nightmare that they could not possibly have imagined.MT: Weren’t the Poachin’ Pals eager to dispatch Mark because he was snooping around? So now that Mark’s completely preoccupied with
Bob Jacksonfishing, why is Poacher #1 so worried? Frankly, this urge toward gratuitous gator-on-human violence is rather… well, promising.Curtis: Today Greg Wilkins became my hero: He has the courage to stand by and narrate as his son chokes and gasps his last breath. A grateful nation salutes you, Greg.
October 15th, 2009 at 8:09 am
141 Baka Gaijin: With the “blessed salmon squares,” I thought you were going for the extreme unction angle. With the transubstantiated salmon squares and potato-ade, Jeff can assure Scott that he’ll be guided by Saint Roy into a heavenly bliss of endless pool parties and 39 Prince-Valient-headed virgins.
October 15th, 2009 at 8:24 am
Wait, the sideburned guy is one of the poachers? Oh, man, that clears so much up. I’ve been reading the last week wondering why Elvis was stalking Mark Trail.
October 15th, 2009 at 8:26 am
Today’s Hi & Lois: Did no one notice that L’il Ditto has found his uncle Beetle’s stash of ADAM stag magazines and sits leering at slickly printed black-and-white boobies?
He’s still unsure of how to respond to the funny feelings this inspires, though, as evidenced by the misogynistic boot-stuffing. I hope for Trixie’s sake he gets help soon.
October 15th, 2009 at 9:28 am
147. Baka Gaijin
It was not meant to be you. It does, however, show the strong influence you have on Pluggers. They want to be more than what they are. They aspire to be better. They try to be like you but will fall flat every time. To Pluggers Baka Gaijin is like a god or icon, something to guide and direct them in time of clown. So give the Pluggers a break. They need every break they can get.
On other notes, did you notice how some cartoonists will do anything to get mentioned on the Curmudgeon site? Take Brian Crane author of Pickles. He stuck Mark Trail in his strip just hoping that he’d get a mention here. Well, Brian old buddy, the ruse did not work did it? Ha ha… hey, wait. Did I just mention it?
October 15th, 2009 at 9:34 am
Curtis – That first panel would look good wrapped around a coffee cup.
Family – Oh, Dolly! Not the honeymoon album again!
Mary – Looks like time for decisive action from Dr. Jeff! … “I have something to do first!” … As soon as he gets back from the bathroom!
One Big – From Li’l Rorschach’s journal: “Went to drawers. Got new face. Stain, not moving. Smelled like justice. Light outside. Light as it gets.”
Pluggers remember when HBO was the Hackensack Buggywhip Organization, but they can’t tell you how many grandkids they have.
Rx – Memo to Evil Pierce: If you want him to talk about something he knows, just drop the word “mashie” or “niblick,” and he’ll go on happily for hours.
Rose – What a rich fantasy life she has, pretending that her personal vibrator is a badass motorcycle. (I’d best drop this line of thought, before I start thinking about her “EEE” face.)
Snuffy – Li’l Tater’s been reading hisself too much dang FOOB.
October 15th, 2009 at 9:35 am
156 Pozzo says: “Plugger Dogman has an awfully tiny head. Did Bugs Bunny fix him up with a dose of alum (whatever that is)?”
Alum is the existential opposite of the product mentioned by 151 Molybendum under “Bizarro”.
October 15th, 2009 at 9:36 am
Susan @y188 & Carrie @y257 – It’s not entirely without reason that you think of it as “Family Circus,” you know. Just saying…
Uncle Pluggy @75 – It was actually James Underwood, Andover Mass – which was represented thusly:
WOOD
JAMES
MASS
October 15th, 2009 at 9:38 am
#149 Farley’s Revenge- I hope Dr. Cory gets the voodoo lady from “Zombie Nightmare” to reanimate Scott!
October 15th, 2009 at 9:39 am
One more good thing aoubt the Plugger AOL address given yesterday, now anytime I sign up for something online and don’t want to give my real email address for fear of spam, well I now have a diffenrent one I can give.
October 15th, 2009 at 9:50 am
You guys, I just realized today when Crankshaft referred to his “sporadic nerve” that he’s — I can barely say it — he’s a KEANE CHILD TRAVELED BACK IN TIME.
October 15th, 2009 at 9:54 am
Let’s see over the past few “days” Mark and Rusty went camping, found some poached animals, Mark was knocked out, saved by one of the poachers, and visited said poachers home and family shared a meal. He was knocked unconscious and I assume this is the day after. No hospital visit? No “hey I got knocked out, let’s get the hell out of here? Instead we get “Oh HOW did THAT happen?” Mark is a cyborg.
October 15th, 2009 at 9:55 am
Oh and I forgot Sassy she(?) went too.
October 15th, 2009 at 9:59 am
Dick- I don’t think Fee Fi realizes that felines are incredibly flexible. The can lick any place on their body for gosh sakes. I know it’s too much to ask that the tiger turn around and bite Fee Fi’s hands off, but at this pace I can think of a million different scenarios that would end tragically for all involved. The biggest tragedy of all is the fact that now I read Dick Tracy everyday. I’ve got work to do. Those Jumble aren’t going to draw themselves.
Coming soon…….Jumbled Josh to a paper near you.
October 15th, 2009 at 10:01 am
136. Uncle Lumpy– “Genial goodwill” is exactly right and explains to me why I continue to enjoy reading “Blondie” against all odds. Everybody seems to like each other and in that way it succeeds, by complete accident I think, in doing what Batiuk’s belabored creations try so hard to do– create a community of pleasant people in whom you feel a glimmer of interest. Batiuk, who clearly gives of his life’s blood with every strip (or so his defensive self-justification suggests) succeeds only in creating unease and sometimes disgust.
(By the way, what is the point of “Crankshaft”? It’s vituperative, horrible, filled with terrible people– all of them are terrible, every last one. And they all seem to exist so that they can set up or deliver puns. Why? WHY?)
October 15th, 2009 at 10:03 am
168. Tom
Mmmm. Poached animals.
October 15th, 2009 at 10:03 am
Slowly he turned, inch by inch, step by step, until Dr. Cory was standing over Detective Hewitt. He leaned down and said, “Scott. I have a confession. Your father was more than a good friend of mine in high school. He was my lover. We didn’t use that term back in the day. We called each other ‘pals.’ So many Friday nights after the football game, your dad and I would make our way back to the field and he’d fuck me on the fifty-yard line under the autumn moon. I can still remember the scent of the fresh grass and your father’s musk in my nostrils. We’d change places and I’d fuck him like I was stormin’ Normandy. Maybe, some of my seed found its way to his nutsac and you’re a little part of me. I love you, boy. I love you.”
Scott’s eyes open. “Will you love me… like you loved my dad?”
October 15th, 2009 at 10:04 am
10/15
Popeye: Spinachovia’s single aircraft evokes memories of the Led Zeppelin I album cover. If these two think they can ride this thing and arrive in one piece, then they’ll be dazed and confused when they have a little more than a communication breakdown.
MT: One of the most traumatic things that can happen in a man’s life is for him to lose his faith in gators.
MW: I can just picture the next nurse who comes in to check on Scott. “Sir, visiting hours are over. Sir? Why are you on your knees? And why is the patient’s robe up? Oh my God! That is so horribly wrong!”
S-M: “Bigshot? The man with the smallest penis in New York’s criminal underworld? Why I’d be honored to work for him.”
H&L: Well played, young Ted Bundy. But when you get older you’ll have to be more creative in disposing of the victims.
H&J: My word, this restaurant critic speaks with all the subtlety of the Prickly City coyote in full straw-liberal froth. If this is Bentley responding to his own critics (present company included), he may want to invest in a slightly thicker skin.
6C: She must be watching the med ad on a Videodrome set. All hail the new flesh!
Cathy: Wasting the saleslady’s time is one thing. But wasting the gin and vermouth the department store was thoughtful enough to provide? Not in my America, you don’t.
Archie: “Jughead, I’m cold.”
“Wait just a few seconds. This chili dog fart I’ve got coming should warm things up.”
JP: Upon hearing the words “grudge”, “gun in my hand” and “penniless”, Sam realizes that this case would be actual work with no certainty of compensation. With a hearty “screw it” he goes home to not have sex with his wife.
DtM: “Gina? Fine. Go to your little Italian whore! But don’t expect to see me when you get back. Or the Radio Flyer wagon.”
October 15th, 2009 at 10:04 am
@142 Ryan: At our house there was much excitement over the Super-Fun-Pak Comix this morning, particular the Mark Trail parody. My only complaint is that none of the balloons points to an animal’s butt.
October 15th, 2009 at 10:05 am
43, 130: Ed PowerS works in a slightly different form of fantasy entertainment. . . . .(Ashley, starring in “Bus Stop Tails” . . . . )
Mutts: today made up for not only this week’s lame “squirrels with acorns” gags, but the last several weeks worth as well.
FW: wonder who gets some brown sugar first, Les or Summer?
GF: “Hollywood weasels” *snerk*
SFx: Mr Weber Jr, sir, you forgot the hair spikes on Alexander Bumstead in both panels.
October 15th, 2009 at 10:06 am
176 was me.
October 15th, 2009 at 10:14 am
“By the way, if the post office where your P.O. Box is closes down, can’t they just forward your mail to your new P.O. Box? Am … am I missing something?”
Clearly, Brookins contacted the USPS about the fate of his PO box, only to be told, “Pluggers? Hell no, we’re not forwarding junk mail.”
October 15th, 2009 at 10:26 am
#111 seismic-2 – That makes you a respectable oldbie, sir. (Fun fact: did you know that a couple of PDP-10s are still in operation for hobbyist purposes (one run by none other than Microsoft co-founder Paul Allen!) and user accounts are freely available to anyone who cares to telnet in?)
A3G – Why wouldn’t it be? Because this is Margo we’re talking about, dolt.
BrS – “Or maybe I didn’t. I can’t really remember, I’m only like eight years old.”
Curtis – “Ha ha, my brother is choking to death! Oh look, he’s beginning to asphyxiate! Ha ha ha!”
FC – You were waiting in the wings. In Hell.
FW – Um, ha ha?
GT – Right. Whatever you say, unintelligible sports blather.
H&L – “Now I’ll continue staring intently at this pad of Post-It notes until the voices come to speak to me again.”
JP – Whoa! Art shot!
Luann – Christ. And we’re supposed to think this is the right guy? How much creepier and more overtly possessive can you get without being Elly Patterson? Fuck. You. Gunther.
MT – Well, I’m not 100% sure, but I would hazard a guess that he was not eaten by the gators.
MW – “I have to make sweet, sweet quasi-necrophilic love to the son of the only man I ever loved!”
Pickles – …Opal. You really don’t want Mark Trail as your fantasy man. Look at his relationship with Cherry.
Pluggers – Pluggers begrudge other people the use of abandoned and outdated acronyms. Pluggers are very, very, very petty.
Popeye – Someone is a little confused about the invention of the blimp.
SF – Shine on, you crazy diamond. Shine on.
October 15th, 2009 at 10:30 am
One big- they do underwear checks in school now, yeah that sounds like a good idea
October 15th, 2009 at 10:32 am
146. Sister Sestina: your rant, well-justified and well-explained, actually just made me wonder something really really weird: why does Plugger central have an AOL account? They’re Pluggers – they can’t possibly have been early adopters!! Some of us would think that due to mounting pressures in, say, 2005 or the like, the syndicate told Brookins he should have a newfangled email address thingie. So the scorn may be for choosing AOL in the second half of this decade, as opposed to the first half of last decade; would that scorn be justified, according to you, considering the numerous other options then available that still wouldn’t need changing in six months?
176. queek: You realise you’re just feeding ammunition to Jamus here?
October 15th, 2009 at 10:41 am
9CL: “That’s so… uh… Raven?”
Between Friends: It’s called “writing”.
Curtis: Worst. Charlie Callas. Ever!
Cranky: Oh, he’s got nerve alright.
DT: “Can’t… hold much… longer… stubby…. fingers….!”
FW: That’s because they think you two are escaping the strip, and BatiukWorld, forever (which I’d recommend, ladies).
GA: FINALLY!
GF: Oh, and Fungo is also adding his support for Roman Polanski.
GT: “Murph Wolman’s… 90% heart…” That must make it difficult for him to call plays. And explains why he keeps saying “I’m pumped” so much during games.
October 15th, 2009 at 10:44 am
Blondie – the art consistently shimmers; the black ink on white newsprint is consistently masterful. Marshall and Cummings routinely turn out some of the most artistic cartooning ever.
October 15th, 2009 at 10:45 am
181 Niall: Pluggers — Smart enough to grab one of these fabulous retro addresses before they become chic. Dumb enough not to display it as “pluggermail [at] aol [dot] com”.
Wouldn’t want to be their spam filter.
October 15th, 2009 at 10:47 am
#142 Ryan – You know, I like Ruben Bolling’s work a lot, but I don’t think we really need more people refusing to acknowledge the existence of political stances other than “the president is awesome” or “the president is Hitler.”
October 15th, 2009 at 10:47 am
Good Lord, Josh, you expect EVERY Plugger letter to be forwarded by the Post Office? Have you no idea how many retired persons there ARE in this country with children who don’t visit and otherwise nothing fulfilling to DO with their lives? The mail forwarding department would be SWAMPED, SWAMPED I TELLS YA!
October 15th, 2009 at 10:53 am
The Pluggers strip is always bitching about big government, big city liberalism. When the government actually tries to do something that the private sector would do–i.e., eliminate redundant and under-used facilities–the Pluggers start whining. (I realize that this comment is not funny, but neither is the strip.)
October 15th, 2009 at 10:55 am
GT: “Murph Wolman’s… 90% heart”. No wonder he leaks so much blood all over the field!
GT: “(quote again)”. That’s okay; it’s the 10% spleen that bothers me!
JP: Must be designer glasses.
Luann: Well……. yeah, Gunthony, but your own attitude isn’t doing much for our collective digestive tract, either.
GT: “(quote)”. Too bad it’s not 90% brain.
Mutts: “Gee, we already ran out of Fleischer Studios characters to bean! We start on Looney Tunes characters next…”
GT: “Whatisface is 90% heart”. …Of The City?
RMMD: For rent, of course.
6C: Swine Flu news coverage.
GT: “90% heart, yadda yadda…”. The other team’s strategy, now, is to go after the quarterback. They call it the “Heart Attack Play”.
October 15th, 2009 at 11:01 am
185. commodorejohn: I think that the need for more than the extremes is exactly Bolling’s point, actually. “It’s called satire”? :)
October 15th, 2009 at 11:03 am
#189 Niall – Hmm. It seemed more played-straight to me, but maybe my sarcasm detector’s just off today…
October 15th, 2009 at 11:03 am
Why does it not surprise me that Pluggers still has an AOL account?
October 15th, 2009 at 11:06 am
MW: Please don’t “go there”, Kevorkian!
GT: He’s 90% heart? He ain’t got the guts!
(I got a million of ‘em! A million of ‘em! Hot-chachachacha!)*
*Jimmy Durante, that is.
October 15th, 2009 at 11:13 am
192. Mibbitmaker
Jimmy Durante was a great guy.
I like this quote from him…
“All of us have schnozzles . . . if not in our faces, then in our character, minds or habits. When we admit our schnozzles, instead of defending them, we begin to laugh, and the world laughs with us.”
October 15th, 2009 at 11:14 am
#192 (me): Ironically, while Murph Wolman is 90% heart, Jimmy Durante was 90% nose.
October 15th, 2009 at 11:19 am
Thursday comics (although nothing, NOTHING, can possibly top yesterday’s blind Plugger panic moment):
Archie – “Y’see, Ethel, you’re slightly taller and flatter chested than the other girls in this strip, so that makes you hideous. Plus, I’ve been in a transparent closet for decades and don’t know why you haven’t noticed yet.” Also, it doesn’t look like Betty’s about to part with that jacket.
Baldo – The prospect of her shrine burning down the casino warms my heart, but I really hate casinos.
Curtis – Barry’s got the makings of a fine young sociopath if he finds Curtis’ impending asphyxiation that funny.
ReFOOB – Somehow, this is actually funnier knowing of how LJ’s real world marriage fell apart. In fact, I’ll bet it was based on an actual excuse that worked… for a while.
FW – “Run, young cancer-free ones! Run to a town that still has hope and life!”
GA – FINALLY! I’ve said it before – if this was Dick Moore, we’d be in a new plot already.
Luann – Is the ulitmate goal of this strip to not have any sympathetic characters? We’ve got a greedy, shallow whore and a juvenile man-child that the artist isn’t even trying to pass off as anything but his proxy. Even the dog isn’t cute enough to be likable.
My Cage & PBS – Both of these made me snort hot tea. Congrats.
Pluggers: Pluggers flat-out refuse to believe the media lies that the Cold War is over and will kill anyone who tries to say otherwise (the shelter has plenty of room to hide bodies). Or that those thieving banks exist with their shady “acounts”, either.
October 15th, 2009 at 11:22 am
146. Sister Sestina: Stand tall Sister. I am @aol.com and proud of it. I was online before some of these pups were born.
And get off my LAN. (I love that line)
October 15th, 2009 at 11:25 am
Cathy: I’ll just add “submissive housewife roleplay” to my very long list of Things I Never, Ever Wanted to See Mentioned in Cathy.
C’shaft: Isn’t this the same malapropism from the Pilates storyline a couple weeks back? It wasn’t funny then either.
Luann: What is it with this strip and Self-Proclaimed “Nice Guys,” anyway?
Lio: Oh no you don’t, I saw him first!
MW: *snogs Scott*
Pluggers remember the good old days of air raid drills, rationing, and institutionalized racism.
October 15th, 2009 at 11:33 am
@184 I don’t think spambots read Pluggers. Although it’s not impossible.
October 15th, 2009 at 11:37 am
commodorejohn & Niall, re: Bolling: I think that because both positions are ridiculous extremes, he’s making fun of both positions. So I too saw it as satire of “extremes,” not of one particular position. (I think Bolling has a political point of view; it comes out in his strips regularly. But he also is usually pretty nuanced.)
October 15th, 2009 at 11:38 am
197 Diva says: “Cathy: I’ll just add ’submissive housewife roleplay’ to my very long list of Things I Never, Ever Wanted to See Mentioned in Cathy.”
Gee, I always thought that was an intentional theme of this strip and that’s why they ordered Irving straight from central casting.
October 15th, 2009 at 11:42 am
A3G: “Margo hates my mangoes, Aristotle. She recoils from the swell of my firm, round fruit.”
October 15th, 2009 at 11:44 am
198 Carbunicle: If a spambot were instructed by its human master to mine the Pluggers site, this would pose a rigorous test of the internal logic of Asimov’s Laws.
October 15th, 2009 at 11:44 am
In an effort to demonize all facial-haired foes of Mark Trail, the latest adversary’s sideburns are so evil that they’re leaking dark matter all over his shoulders.
October 15th, 2009 at 11:46 am
#197 TheDiva, #200 Écureuil Écumant – oh god my brain get it out get it out
October 15th, 2009 at 11:48 am
Well, for all those interested, FOOB site is all fubar’d this AM.
And, Li’l Tater says, “Ka-Foob!” Cute.
MW – What, pull the plug?
October 15th, 2009 at 11:51 am
172 Sequitur: And if you’re tired of poached animals, you can take the advice of one of my students, who wrote about “braising wild ponies.”
(File under “why proofreading matters”….)
October 15th, 2009 at 11:52 am
Blondie: Alexander’s girlfriend is fine as hell. That’s right, I said what we’re all thinking. How he and Dagwood managed to score those pieces of ass looking the way they do boggles the mind.
October 15th, 2009 at 11:54 am
#173 – Oh. My. God. : D
And this from a gal who used to watch gay male porn with her gay male friend.
October 15th, 2009 at 11:57 am
RMMD. —
No worries, folks. This is obviously a trained health care professional from my former HMO.
GT. — Oh, gives up points! I first read it as giving lip points, and was wondering how to get some lip points from Jefferson for myself.
October 15th, 2009 at 12:00 pm
- Dick Tracy –
For four days. FOUR days Fee Fi’s been holding the tiger’s tail. Long enough for Dick to say “What’s this!” “It’s Fee Fi!” “He’s got the tiger by the tail!” “He’s pulling the tiger!” Not one damn time did Dick say “Well, hell, I’m outa here! Let’s go Karenina!”
If I was Fee Fi, I’d have watched the slowly unfolding exposition with mouth agape, let go of the tiger, and walked silently out of the tent as the clamour of ripping flesh, gnashing teeth and death screams grew behind me.
October 15th, 2009 at 12:00 pm
Pluggers grew up in a food chain shot through and through with strontium-90, which explains a lot about pluggers’ considerble genetic irregularities.
October 15th, 2009 at 12:04 pm
Shoe: “Your motherboard is so fat she ate all your chips.”
October 15th, 2009 at 12:04 pm
Few people remember that the modern Pluggers comic evolved from the Cold War-era “Plug and Survive” initative. “If anyone dies while you are in your fallout shelter, that’s good eatin’.”
Judge Parker – Enough, already! Get to the part where Conan shoots Sam with a tranquilizer dart and uses his voice-changing bow tie to solve the case!
I fully expect Curtis’ conniptions to continue for several weeks, until he becomes an old white guy surrounded by a cloud of smog and goes to visit Popeye.
Gil Thorp – Marv Wolfman?
Mary Worth – You’ve upset daddy’s precious little girl, Scott. But you’re not going to be bothering her any longer…
October 15th, 2009 at 12:09 pm
@179 commodorejohn, one of your best posts ever!
October 15th, 2009 at 12:14 pm
GT: I can’t look at these strips any more. The art work (if you want to call it that) is incomprehinsible. If I have to spend minutes trying to figure out what is going on in any panel, before reading the “dialogue,” it isn’t worth my time.
The stories used to be ridiculous and funny and the previous artwork was ludicrous and looked like it took place in the fifth dimension, but at least we could derive some fun from the absurdity of it. This present manifestation of thes trip, I can’t tell what the hell is going on 2/3 of the time and I don’t want to. And it’s not just my poor eye sight.
October 15th, 2009 at 12:15 pm
OBH — There’s something unique about James getting his revenge on a teacher by wearing underwear on his head. I like it!
October 15th, 2009 at 12:16 pm
Pluggers — You’re a plugger if you still use AOL.
October 15th, 2009 at 12:16 pm
- Mark Trail –
“Mark, if you and Rusty ever come back here fishing…..”
….I’ll be sure to lock up the cupboards this time and just straight up tell you I ain’t got shit to eat next time!
….we can try some of that hot man lovin’ Dingo’s been going on about!
….I’ll hang you both by your testicles from a tree, slit your throats, spin you around and use you for a blood sprinkler on my lawn!
- Mary Worth –
I think Jeff’s going to come back to Scott, pull out his dick in one hand, slide the other under the bandage and start fingering the gunshot hole until it starts bleeding real good. Then he’s going to mount his shoulder and fuck the wound until he blows a load. In Scott’s pectoralis.
Yep, I’m pretty sure I’ve got this covered. You all just move along now.
October 15th, 2009 at 12:18 pm
Dear BC people: please consider giving your little wolfdog critter a cute friend and relegating the rest of the cast to occasional secondary appearances. Thanks.
October 15th, 2009 at 12:27 pm
219. One-eyed Wolfdog
Very good idea. Then B.C. can stand for “Beast Critters.”
October 15th, 2009 at 12:36 pm
A3G:
Call any vegetable
and the chances are good …
that the vegetable will respond to you.
(…the pumpkin is breathing hard…)
October 15th, 2009 at 12:38 pm
- Rex Morgan, 12345 –
Really, Franklin Pierce? You walk into your craphole trailer and there’s two old people there who don’t know who they are. One of them thinks you’re his golf student. And you decide to shake them down. I’m sure they’re loaded, sure…rich people are always doing shit like that.
- Apartment 3G –
Gabby and Doctor Professor Hornygoras are boring. Sure, she’s waving “melons” around, that’s kinda amusing. And she talks a little funny, just so we don’t forget she’s Latina. They keep putting the word “Mangoes” everywhere, I guess because Shulock just learned how to spell it and is proud of herself. But really, none of this is interesting. For some reason I thought it necessary to point out the obvious.
October 15th, 2009 at 12:41 pm
Candorville: So now we have characters conversing with lumps that they’ve coughed up. How special. What is this, “How Low Can You Go Week”?
Or as Curtis would say, “BLORK.”
October 15th, 2009 at 12:49 pm
#214 Gabby – Aw, you flatter me…
October 15th, 2009 at 12:50 pm
A3G: Gabriella is still holding her hardened mangoes, longing for someone to soften them into sweet ripe fruit.
October 15th, 2009 at 1:02 pm
Mary Worth: After Jeff’s longing discussions about Scott and how WONDERFUL and SEXY his father was, my mind is taking me to dirty, dirty places with this panel. I cannot think of anything good that can come of this. Please don’t touch Scott, Jeff! If anything, pull the plug and end his misery.
October 15th, 2009 at 1:12 pm
MW – I think that Jeff may be wanting to try out his new vaudeville act in front of Scott while he’s got a captive audience.
October 15th, 2009 at 1:56 pm
#221 Écureuil Écumant,
Mothers of Invention FTW.
October 15th, 2009 at 3:50 pm
=v= Pluggers: I knew Brookins was getting too big for his britches, though not in the Pluggerly way, when he switched his address from chiefplugr@aol.com to pluggermail@aol.com earlier this year. Everyone knows tat only rock stars and other eeleetes get AOL addresses that spell out real words.
October 15th, 2009 at 7:30 pm
Gil Thorp In panel three of today’s strip, we learn why Coach Kaz is unfit to play any sport requiring manual dexterity. Look at his mitts and those mutant carrot-shaped fingers! No way he could catch or throw a ball. It’s a miracle he can put his earrings in!
October 15th, 2009 at 8:05 pm
On the the CD clipboard:
Commode Seat, Plastic
Can Opener (manual)
Sanitary Napkins
Hand Cleaner (can) (to wash poo off hands)
Polyethelene Gloves (pair) (to pick up poo)
Water Dispensing Spout (to wash off poo)
Tie Wire (bag closing) (to seal poo)
Cups and Lids (plastic) (for poo samples)
Commode Chemical (pack) (to dissolve poo)
Poly Bag Liners (commode) (for poo)
Instruction Sheet (how to get rid of poo)
Toilet Tissue (poo)
Dog Biscuits
Sterno
Morphine
Cannibis
October 16th, 2009 at 4:06 am
I gotta say, Alexander’s girlfriend looked more like one of those RealDolls to me.