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Big Whatever

Spider-Man, 11/20/09

It really shouldn’t come as surprise to anyone that the quality control over at the newspaper Spider-Man strip is less than stringent; but, as several faithful readers have written to me to point out, the feature appears to be reaching for stunning new levels of “Eh, why bother?” It seems that at some point this plotline’s pathetic villain has had his name switched from Bigshot to Bigtime. This is obviously troubling, not least because there was already a newspaper Spider-Man villain named Bigtime just last year. Worse, while Bigtime — who earned that moniker when his all-pervasive clock fetish matched up with his given name of Bigelow — seemed like a pretty lame nemesis for a superhero at the time, he’s like the love child of Catwoman and Lex Luthor when compared to Bigshot, who got his name because he’s short. It’s a sad day when your villainy suffers in comparison to someone whose crimes were entirely timepiece-themed.

Dick Tracy, 11/20/09

So this is something like the fourth separate and contradictory explanation that’s been offered for the events of this Dick Tracy plot — which explanations, I should add, have taken up more strip time than the events they are attempting to explain. This one makes even less sense than the others. In my experience, circuses tend to travel from place to place, and thus there’s no “property” to purchase, unless we’re talking about the actual tent itself, for which I’m guessing there isn’t a huge resale market. Cyber the tiger looks as enraged by this as anyone about all this, and I sincerely hope he (or she?) finally just eats everyone to shut them up.

Judge Parker, 11/20/09

I just had this bit of realization about this plot: Sam Driver is withholding information from the police about this note, and knowledge about this note could set his client free — his client who has terminal cancer and not long to live. Presumably he thinks it would be much more dramatic to reveal his ace card during the trial (“discovery”? what’s that?) in stunning and dramatic fashion than it would be to work the whole thing out now and let his client spend the last few weeks of his life with his family. In other words, Sam, never one to rest on his laurels, is working hard to secure the title of Dickiest Man Alive.

Ziggy, 11/20/09

I’ve always been disturbed by the fact that nightmarish gore-fests like Hostel or the Saw movies get R ratings while sexy flicks like Henry and June or The Dreamers get NC-17s, and now I have another reason to feel that way: this horoscope implies that Ziggy will not be violently murdered, but will rather participate in some no doubt queasy-making sex act.

Slylock Fox, 11/20/09

The final step when drawing a member of the proletariat: the honest grime of manual labor!

261 responses to “Big Whatever”

  1. Pozzo
    November 20th, 2009 at 5:30 pm [Reply]

    Personally, I’d be MORE likely to go to a circus if I thought there was a good chance someone would die. It’s the NASCAR fan in me.

  2. Sequitur
    November 20th, 2009 at 5:32 pm [Reply]

    DT: Shouldn’t Barb Els and Mr. Pops be handcuffed or something?

  3. 150
    November 20th, 2009 at 5:35 pm [Reply]

    True fact: the term “prop” is short for “property,” so the idea of buying a traveling circus’s property makes total sense. I assume neither Dick Tracy or his writer knows that; I’m just saying.

  4. UncleJeff
    November 20th, 2009 at 5:35 pm [Reply]

    2 Sequitur: Naw, Dick doesn’t bring his handcuffs on a circus trip with the family. Just his gun. And the other law enforcement agencies in the TriState area already know if Dick is on the scene, there won’t be any need for handcuffs because there won’t be any survivors.

  5. Darkefang
    November 20th, 2009 at 5:35 pm [Reply]

    DT: I know I complain about Dick’s brutal methods, but if today’s strip is an example of his detective work, then I’m beginning to understand his “murder first, ask questions never” approach to some degree. Since he’s in no danger whatsoever, Dick is left to sputter things like “circus,” “murder” and “cheap property,” while he feebly attempts to come up with any reason to shoot everybody in the face.

    Phantom Yes, mom would definitely approve of you abandoning her children while you romp around the woods in purple spandex and striped underwear. Of course, mom also liked living in a house shaped like a skull and hired a midget in a thong as a housekeeper.

  6. Toby
    November 20th, 2009 at 5:36 pm [Reply]

    Slylock’s mechaninc looks like he’s holding something other than a wrench

  7. Corydon
    November 20th, 2009 at 5:37 pm [Reply]

    SF: The final step when drawing a member of the proletariat: the honest grime of manual labor!

    And the wide-eyed stare of methamphetamine addiction.

  8. ScienceGiant
    November 20th, 2009 at 5:38 pm [Reply]

    I agree with Toby in #6. That’s, ah, quite a tool the mechanic is holding.

  9. Farley's Revenge
    November 20th, 2009 at 5:38 pm [Reply]

    I’d offer a “CREEPYSCARYCLOWN” warning to BakaGaijin but by the time it was read, it would be too late.

    However, just in case: If you read the comments first, DON’T LOOK!

  10. ArtisticPlatypus
    November 20th, 2009 at 5:38 pm [Reply]

    I can’t say I follow the judge parker plotline very well. Who is this Henry, and does he often put notes in his butt?

    Meh, that was cheap, so i’ll add another random thought that popped into my head: Doesn’t murders make cirkuses MORE popular? Any attention is good attention, right?

  11. Jonny Quest
    November 20th, 2009 at 5:38 pm [Reply]

    Judge Parker: No chance of Sam Driver presenting the note as surprise evidence at trial because he has never appeared in a courtroom.

  12. UncleJeff
    November 20th, 2009 at 5:39 pm [Reply]

    JP: And the dickiest thing of all is that our soon-to-be-deceased Henry didn’t want to hire Sam. He’s just doing this all on his own!
    Screwing up a police investigation…possibly depriving the sexy widow and her husband’s debtors any chance of recovering the money…assuring that poor Henry will die in a jail cell: it’s all in a day’s work for Sam Driver, attorney (& dick) at law!

  13. Sequitur
    November 20th, 2009 at 5:39 pm [Reply]

    4. UncleJeff
    Actually, I bet it’s because the artist can’t draw handcuffs.

  14. Sequitur
    November 20th, 2009 at 5:40 pm [Reply]

    9. Farley’s Revenge
    You forgot EVIL

  15. UncleJeff
    November 20th, 2009 at 5:43 pm [Reply]

    7 corydon: COTW

  16. Mibbitmaker
    November 20th, 2009 at 5:43 pm [Reply]

    S-M: Bigshot can Identify with Muttley (the snickering Hannah-Barbera mutt), who, for no sensible reason, became Mumbly. I wouldn’t count Bluto/Brutus, though, since there was a pointless legal situation responsible for that. I’ll just continue calling him BigDeal. As in: BigDeal is a huge asshole, even for a lame superhero villain.

    Marm: “But I like it when you kill it, ma’am…!”
    “”Okay, you overgrown mutt — but next time, Garfield gets to do it!”

    MW: Hey, Del, kick yourself anyway.

    N-S: Hey, Wiley! Over there! A GEEK! (Hah! He’s too easy…)

    R=R: This is how kitties psyche up for the attack on the humans.
    ….I’ve said too much already….
    (nah. I’m still “playing” Wiley. The paranoid.)

    Ghost-Who-Walks-Away: She sure knows how to butter up the old man, doesn’t she?

    RMMD: Nyah-nyah!

    SL: I’m glad Jaques Cousteau isn’t alive to see this…

  17. Thorzul
    November 20th, 2009 at 5:43 pm [Reply]

    What? No scene of Ziggy going to his wallet for his ID to prove his age? My my my… those single-panel cartoonists sure leave a lot of comedic gold on he table.

  18. Écureuil Écumant
    November 20th, 2009 at 5:46 pm [Reply]

    S-M: Yeah! I remember the original Bigtime. He was the dude who tied J. Jonah Jameson to the clock. Sort of the S-M equivalent of chaining Sneaky to a log.

    This current guy, they should call him Bigtick because his suit is made of mattress ticking.

  19. Niall
    November 20th, 2009 at 5:46 pm [Reply]

    No time to read, but I`ll be the umpteenth to say it: any. sex act involving Ziggy will be queasy-making.

  20. Peter
    November 20th, 2009 at 5:46 pm [Reply]

    Stickler’s note: The original cut of Saw was rated NC-17. I believe they removed about eight seconds of footage to get it down to an R. Or you could argue that it’s one of those films that adds stuff just so they can look better to the MPAA when they recut it and/or sell an unrated DVD.

  21. KarMann
    November 20th, 2009 at 5:48 pm [Reply]

    @Sequitur #13: And when did that ever stop the artists (using the term loosely) before?

  22. Jay-El
    November 20th, 2009 at 5:49 pm [Reply]

    #6 and #8: It looks to me like an old-fashioned can opener

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Can_opener#First.2C_lever-type_can_openers

    What concerns me more than his tool is the puddle of indeterminate liquid growing at his feet…

  23. Mibbitmaker
    November 20th, 2009 at 5:52 pm [Reply]

    This Bigtime/BigDeal has his own disturbing fetish: forcing guys to ruin their lives in violent clashes with costumed idiots. Maybe he should just be called BigProblems.

  24. Randy
    November 20th, 2009 at 5:54 pm [Reply]

    After years as an icon of American pop culture, Dick Tracy has become nothing more than a horrificly violent version of Scooby Doo.

    Why am I pleased by this thought?

  25. Master Softheart
    November 20th, 2009 at 5:57 pm [Reply]

    DT: I haven’t been following this at all, but I do think it’s really neat that Dick Tracy has decided to mine old Scooby Doo plotlines. I like the creative possibilities of letting Quentin Tarantino write and direct the ending to a Hannah Barbera cartoon.

    JP: Given the time-distortion in Judge Parker, there is essentially no way in which this plot could possibly take longer than one day as perceived by the characters (even if the seasons change three times in Baretto’s backgrounds while this happens), so I’m willing to cut Sam some slack on not immediately revealing the note.

    And really, would producing the note cause the police to release the guy the found standing over the body with a gun?

  26. Master Softheart
    November 20th, 2009 at 5:58 pm [Reply]

    Re: 24

    Had I not stopped to think about the Judge Parker plot, I would have had the Scooby Doo reference first. I think this points to a profound moral of some kind…

  27. Emily
    November 20th, 2009 at 5:59 pm [Reply]

    I’m also confused by the sudden appearance of a striped shirt on Sandman in the second panel. Is that one of his superpowers?

  28. Écureuil Écumant
    November 20th, 2009 at 6:02 pm [Reply]

    WTF-DT: Uh? They “were on the horns” of a dilemma and the artist draws — a tiger. Yeah, that’s as dada as the rest of the strip.

    Why didn’t he draw a yak instead? It matches, not just the horns, but the endless yak-yak-yak of all their mutually contradictory (and woefully inadequate) explanations for two months of evilcreepyscary ennui.

  29. AmazingThor
    November 20th, 2009 at 6:06 pm [Reply]

    Marm: No! Something has finally stopped the murderous hell-beast in his tracks! Don’t get rid of it!!

  30. Steve S
    November 20th, 2009 at 6:06 pm [Reply]

    Ziggy’s NC-17 horoscope is just a picture of him without pants. That’s something no child should see.

  31. Mary Worthless
    November 20th, 2009 at 6:09 pm [Reply]

    I do love whenDT takes their plotlines right from old Scooby Doo shows. All we need now is Ringo muttering how he’d have gotten away with it, if it weren’rt for “you meddlin kids!”

  32. Crankenstank
    November 20th, 2009 at 6:10 pm [Reply]

    In re: Ziggy’s NC-17 rating: like The Dreamers I’m going to guess it involves a three-way with Ziggy’s sister.

  33. zenvelo
    November 20th, 2009 at 6:10 pm [Reply]

    Ziggy looks like he is reading the paper while taking a dump. I think his horoscope has something to do with coprophilia…

    “no need to wipe if you’re not wearing pants”"

  34. doug rogers
    November 20th, 2009 at 6:11 pm [Reply]

    Let the damned tiger loose already, will yah?!!?!!

  35. Bitter Scribe
    November 20th, 2009 at 6:12 pm [Reply]

    …this horoscope implies that Ziggy will not be violently murdered, but will rather participate in some no doubt queasy-making sex act.

    Involving the Gemini twins, perhaps?

  36. Violet
    November 20th, 2009 at 6:13 pm [Reply]

    Mary Worth can always be relied upon for some hilarious body language, but today’s installment is exceptional even by the strip’s consistently high standards.
    Delilah: I could just kick myself, and by kick myself I mean punch you repeatedly.
    Mary: Seventeen…eighteen…nineteen ceiling tiles! OMG will this tiresome skank never cease droning on?

  37. DamienBixlan
    November 20th, 2009 at 6:13 pm [Reply]

    Ziggy: ” Gee, my horoscope’s never had a NC-Rating before! Which is quite surprising, considering I never wear any pants! “

  38. cj
    November 20th, 2009 at 6:13 pm [Reply]

    Ziggy:
    Since he’s a midget, and already goes about without pants, they have to be extra creative to get the NC-17 rating. Maybe it says he’ll be captured by an enraged, psychotic newspaper comic strip reader, who will then have him be violated by giraffotaurs and forced to eat his own bile.


    What?

  39. BigTed
    November 20th, 2009 at 6:16 pm [Reply]

    Should we be disturbed by the fact that the heart cartoon by Casey, age 9, is drawn so much better than the Humpty Dumpty-shaped mechanic that’s supposed to teach kids about art? I realize that the comics page is shrinking all the time, but that’s no excuse for subtly destroying any future competition.

  40. Digger
    November 20th, 2009 at 6:16 pm [Reply]

    Dear Ziggy, if you want a more family-friendly horoscope, try putting some damn pants on.

    S. Fox: I’m disturbed by the idea that mechanics’ bodies are so circular. Also, is Casey Mills of Jackson, MS really a smiling heart with stick-limbs?

  41. Hogan
    November 20th, 2009 at 6:17 pm [Reply]

    Dick Tracy has been arresting these people for, what, six months? Eight months? No wonder he always ends up shooting them–otherwise they’d get off on the grounds that they were denied a speedy trial. Or even a speedy booking.

  42. Sequitur
    November 20th, 2009 at 6:18 pm [Reply]

    35. Bitter Scribe
    With Ziggy it will probably be the crab.

  43. NoVan
    November 20th, 2009 at 6:18 pm [Reply]

    Dick Tracy: “And we would have gotten away with it, too, if it hadn’t been for you pesky kids.”

  44. Miss Hap
    November 20th, 2009 at 6:20 pm [Reply]

    Judge Parker – “Discovery” is, I’m pretty sure, the part where both sides get all the evidence they can from the other side, and the evidence that will be used in the trial is settled. Also, I’m pretty sure legal ethics would prevent Sam from reveling the existence of the note to the police. Of course, I would have also thought that ethics would prevent Sam from punching his way into someone’s house, so who knows.

  45. Calico
    November 20th, 2009 at 6:25 pm [Reply]

    Re: My Cage today, which I just read –
    *faints*

  46. Jimmyleg Jehosephat
    November 20th, 2009 at 6:26 pm [Reply]

    Ziggy’s horoscope: “Use your instincts to build your confidence. IN BED!!”

  47. Rachel211
    November 20th, 2009 at 6:27 pm [Reply]

    It’s Dick Tracy’s most cruel kill of all – starvation by gunpoint.

  48. Rachel211
    November 20th, 2009 at 6:29 pm [Reply]

    With that much full frontal nudity for at least 20 years, of course Ziggy has an NC-17 rating!

  49. Ed Dravecky
    November 20th, 2009 at 6:29 pm [Reply]

    What if they’ve broken in to the wrong bald, pierced pot-dealer’s shabby trailer and Cue, safely miles away, is quietly collecting his reward? That would be awesome.

  50. Rachel211
    November 20th, 2009 at 6:30 pm [Reply]

    Or maybe it stands for “No Clothes – 17 years and counting”

  51. Jumper
    November 20th, 2009 at 6:36 pm [Reply]

    The tiger’s mouth in panel three is just magnificently bad, being barely open in front and widely open at the back teeth, an impossibility unless of course the mammal can unhinge his jaw like a horrible, furry snake and devour a full grown man by swallowing him in one gulp. Or half-grown clown, whatever. I wonder if all the strips will begin to hire 12-year-olds to draw the strips. I would like at least one more to do so. My own newspaper dropped Dick Tracy decades ago, if they ever ran it at all. I think the “wrist radio” decided it. It was too crazy for them!

  52. MolyBendum
    November 20th, 2009 at 6:49 pm [Reply]

    Slylock - HOW TO DRAW a mechanic: Start off drawing Cartman. Add detail until you have a glassy-eyed perv stroking the eight ball in the corner pocket. Now trace a picture of a violently incontinent Andy Richter holding a wrench. BAM! You got a mechanic.

  53. MattC
    November 20th, 2009 at 6:52 pm [Reply]

    I love the last panel of today’s spiderman, which seems to imply that Bigwhatever and Sandman are old college buddies or something. “And you know why!” “Yeah, I guess I do, old friend. I guess I do.” Ha ha ha ha ha! *sigh*

    In other exciting news, in today’s Mary Worth strip, Mary offers half-assed advice and deals out crusty platitudes! What next, a Funky Winkerbean strip about terminal disease? A Lockhorns about marital strife and soul-crushing ennui?

  54. bats :[
    November 20th, 2009 at 7:01 pm [Reply]

    53. MattC re MW: sometimes you just have to go back to basics, and Revel in the Meddle that is Mary.
    That, or Moy and Giella have no idea what the next story is going to be and are stalling for time — this buys them a week at least.

  55. MolyBendum
    November 20th, 2009 at 7:03 pm [Reply]

    Spiderman I think in panel 3 it’s supposed to make BigShotTime look more evil, like he’s whispering over Sandman’s shoulder into his ear, the satan in his corner, goading him to do things he doesn’t want to do. But I look at it and I see lust. Hot, hot man-lust. I absolutely know that his hand is cupping Sandman’s buttock, and I’m pretty sure that if there were a panel 4, BigTimeShot would be seductively touching the tip of his nose with his tongue.

  56. zerowolf
    November 20th, 2009 at 7:05 pm [Reply]

    Mama Keane looks like she’s going to kick PJ right in the crotch.

  57. One-eyed Wolfdog
    November 20th, 2009 at 7:09 pm [Reply]

    Considering the vertically striped suit, perhaps Big Top would be most appropriate. And then Dick Tracy could nip over and recapitulate at him for six weeks while the rest of us make our escape.

  58. zerowolf
    November 20th, 2009 at 7:09 pm [Reply]

    Hi and Lois: “crashing the slumber party” is that what teens are calling orgies these days?

  59. cj
    November 20th, 2009 at 7:12 pm [Reply]

    Re: Zer0 Wolf:

    No, aim for Billy’s crotch!

  60. MattC
    November 20th, 2009 at 7:15 pm [Reply]

    58. I think Chip and his buddy are just going to try and get in on some free make-overs.

  61. Sheila Sternwell
    November 20th, 2009 at 7:17 pm [Reply]

    Ziggy: That would have made more sense had it been something like the TV ratings (V for violence, etc.) instead of NC-17. As already mentioned, only sexy times get NC-17 ratings, because sex is icky and often involves bits and hair and fluids. Which turns this Ziggy into something so horrifying that my mind won’t let me comprehend it. No one who got upset over that Zits strip has even noticed this Ziggy, despite the fact that there is a huge similarity between the two: No pants.

    #49 Ed — I have also wondered about that. Cue hasn’t been shown clearly yet and it’s possible that the RMMD writers think no one lives in trailers except bald, multiply pierced, late-30s white guys in denim shirts. I lived for years in a trailer court and I can tell you from experience that only 87% of the residents fit that description. 90% tops.

  62. Karmyn
    November 20th, 2009 at 7:31 pm [Reply]

    Is that a man or a woman in today’s DT? Because either way, that’s some impressive breasts.

  63. gnome de blog
    November 20th, 2009 at 7:35 pm [Reply]

    I hate to dispute with Your Popishness, but the problem with your reasoning is that Sam and Stumpy Shannon have yet to ascertain the note’s existence. While Sam is busy violating his ethics with the widder D’Vito, Stumpy’s searching Henry’s place – possibly illegally.

    I think the only reason Sam went to Chateau D’Vito was so Baretto could draw Stella sipping martinis in her (also possibly illegal) little black dress for a week. For that we thank him.

  64. A New Day
    November 20th, 2009 at 7:46 pm [Reply]

    Proletariat, you say? No, I’m sorry, but 20th century classifications with lingering Eastern European associations have no application here. This mechanic’s bulbous form, which would prevent him from working under anything but the tallest SUVs, clearly makes him a 21st century American.

  65. Écureuil Écumant
    November 20th, 2009 at 7:47 pm [Reply]

    MW: “And you’re ready to start fresh!” Sounds like something a frat rat says to his buddy, late on a Saturday night right after his bud gets through puking.

  66. Écureuil Écumant
    November 20th, 2009 at 7:50 pm [Reply]

    @64 A New Day says: “This mechanic’s bulbous form, which would prevent him from working under anything but the tallest SUVs, clearly makes him a 21st century American.”

    Yeah, and he’s found his niche as the dude that’s been cutting the catalytic converters out from under every Toyota 4Runner in the tri-state area.

  67. Gold-Digging Nanny
    November 20th, 2009 at 8:00 pm [Reply]

    Well, I guess it’s time for me to come out of the woodwork again to explain why Dick Tracy, despite all evidence to the contrary, is not as batshit as it seems, and really all makes sense if you just look at it logically.

    I think the last time I did this, I discovered that Dick’s wife Tess was having an affair with someone else on the squad and concocted a plot to have Dick, the mayor and the governor murdered by a lunatic, then bulldoze the house to remove all traces of the crime. This time, clearly it’s Dick who has some ulterior motives. Watch as he claims he’ll have forensics look at the threatening note that he’s just put his fingerprints all over! A rookie mistake — and Dick is no rookie. It can only be that Dick “accidentally” picked up that note with no gloves on in order to cover up his own tracks. His fingerprints were already on the note.

    Another tipoff that it was Dick? Notice the “ura dead man” in the note. Dick recently learned to speak that way from the Rock ‘Em Sock ‘Em Robots.

    Notice that Dick is calling it a ransom note, even though it demands no ransom. Clearly, Dick has committed this crime and is trying to pin it on someone else, but he doesn’t know who yet. He’s flailing about, trying to come up with a plausible motive for someone to shoot the trapeze artist and send death threats.

    Dick claimed to have figured out that someone in the circus must have sent the notes because they were made out of the circus playbill. The fact of the matter is, Tracy had access to that same playbill.

    So why did Dick do it? For starters, he hates the circus. That’s all the reason he felt he needed to shoot Louise Trapeze. And if you don’t think Dick Tracy could have used a sniper rifle (the weapon identified as the murder weapon by another policeman) under the nose of his own wife and daughter, all I have to say is, you don’t know Dick.

    Dick also recognized Ringo — he’d seen his rap sheet. Angry that this killer is out running circuses instead of meeting his ironic and gruesome demise, Dick set out to kill him. And he would’ve done it, too, if Agent Ennen hadn’t showed up.

    Covering his tracks as always, Dick entered the police electronic records via his Wrist Gee Nee and created a fake rap sheet for Louise Trapeze to concoct the ridiculous story that she was a hired gun out to assassinate Ringo — a story he knew the paranoid criminal Ringo would buy.

    But Dick got more than he bargained for when it turned out Mr. Pops was even more paranoid and delusional than Ringo. Mr. Pops, who once auditioned to be in Insane Clown Posse before he realized it was just the name of a band, and not a posse of insane clowns like himself, is so delusional that he immediately latches on to every ridiculous motive for any crime, accident or even minor nuisance, casting himself as the mastermind. Everybody in the circus knew this. It was a huge joke. “Somebody pooped on my sequined jumpsuit!” Louise Trapeze would scream, when she found she had accidentally left her spare jumpsuit in the arena with the elephants and found it covered in dung. “It was I!” Mr. Pops would invariably shout. “I was so jealous of your beauty in that jumpsuit, and I knew I could never fit into one like it, so I decided to destroy it through the mighty power of my bowels!” The whole circus would laugh. “Who took the last of the coffee and didn’t fix any more?” the fire eater would cry. “It was I!” Mr. Pops would say. “I knew how deeply you need to concentrate on your fire eating, and I knew that you jeopardize your very life if you aren’t awake enough to concentrate. I knew if I could deprive you of caffeine, you might make that fatal slip, and immolate yourself! I have always hated you, ever since you slept with my imaginary friend! Die, fire eater, die!” Occasionally he would involve his close friends in the conspiracy. “Barb Ells pooped on your suit, too!” The joke always ends with someone threatening to feed Pops to Cyber. The whole circus would laugh. It was the first time a clown had ever been funny. Too bad it was because he was mentally impaired.

    So when Ringo claimed that his old bosses had been smuggling high-tech weaponry to foreign countries and were out to get him, Mr. Pops of course claimed to be in on it. But his delusions made it impossible for Mr. Pops to keep his story straight. That’s why he immediately changed his story to claim that Ringo had been blackmailing him and the other circus members. The other circus members figured Mr. Pops was joking yet again. They thought his gun was actually a water pistol, and they knew Cyber wasn’t going to eat Tracy and Agent Ennen, since Cyber doesn’t eat anything that doesn’t come out of a KFC bucket.

    You’ll note that, despite Dick’s recent claims, Barb Ells never admitted to killing Louise Trapeze. That’s an off-panel word balloon coming from Mr. Pops. So why is Barb holding that gun? Clearly she’s found Dick’s rifle, the actual murder weapon, and has taken it to him, hoping he can use it as evidence to track down the real killer. She doesn’t see herself as in on a crime — just in on a joke. By the way, she’s not confessing here, either. In the background, one of the other policemen was just asking who found the murder weapon, and she wanted to get on the record that it was her.

    Fee Fi and Della Contessa knew Tracy and Ennen were in no danger in that cage, but they decided to help Tracy and Ennen out anyway since they thought Pops was taking the joke too far.

    When Tracy told Mr. Pops he was under arrest, his fevered imagination concocted another criminal motive for himself. He was trying to usurp Ringo’s place as ringmaster and owner of the circus, to literally steal the circus away from Ringo. He wasn’t so much trying to escape in this strip as to try to pocket a giant cage.

    Tracy quickly realized that Mr. Pops would be the perfect patsy for his crime. But he also realized that Pops’ stories about it were so random, shifting from one minute to the next, that he needed to just pick something and stick with it. So he decided to go with the “land grab” motive, a blatant ripoff of the haunted house/killdozer storyline of last year. Despite all his clever work covering his tracks, Dick can be pretty unimaginative when actually coming up with the story to frame someone. That’s why he latched onto this motive despite the fact that it’s a traveling circus and it makes no sense.

    Gold-Digging Nanny
    Boldly Deciphering Dick Tracy since 2007

  68. Andy L
    November 20th, 2009 at 8:10 pm [Reply]

    Why is Dick Tracy doing his deductive detective work out loud in front of the suspects, Scooby Doo style?
    He’s not very good at this. If he isn’t going to brutally eliminate these suspects, perhaps he could just be replaced by Velma Dinkley. She was a better detective and she’s a lot more fun to look at.

  69. Uncle Lumpy
    November 20th, 2009 at 8:45 pm [Reply]

    RMMD — I was hoping against hope that Angry Tim would burst into that trailer to find Rex and June locked in carnal embrace.

    Well, I said “against hope.”

  70. m_faustus
    November 20th, 2009 at 8:51 pm [Reply]

    Damn it. I have been trying to think of a sex act involving Ziggy that wouldn’t be queasy-making. That’s fifteen minutes that I am not going to get back, to say nothing of all the puke stains.

  71. Yellow Cat
    November 20th, 2009 at 8:52 pm [Reply]

    Luanne (20-Nov-09): Twenty-five cents says Toni ends up with Quill.

  72. tb4000
    November 20th, 2009 at 9:02 pm [Reply]

    Ziggy: Mr. Zigman is just appalled at reading the words “reacharound” and “Cleveland Steamer”, moreso at what the horoscope is implying how it relates to his personage.

  73. Poteet
    November 20th, 2009 at 9:08 pm [Reply]

    S-M — If the official theme of this strip is now “Eh, why bother?”, then I say again that it’s time for Bigfuckingdeal, the villain who spends his time watching TV, sullenly jabbing at the buttons on the remote, and muttering to himself.

  74. Poteet
    November 20th, 2009 at 9:12 pm [Reply]

    DT — When I checked the comics online last night, DT was not available. I saw only a tiny red cross on a big white space. Now that I see the actual strip, I realize the tiny red cross was a whole lot better.

  75. OKStan
    November 20th, 2009 at 9:28 pm [Reply]

    BigTime/BigShot may be one of the lamer villians of the Spiderman oeveur, but he is PIMPIN’ with those pinstripes!
    Gotta give the man cred for that, at least…

    At the BARE MINIMUM…

    Well, it’s something I NOTICED…

    Ah, screw it! He bites!

  76. OKStan
    November 20th, 2009 at 9:30 pm [Reply]

    And that greasy moustache…
    AH, forget about it! I tried…
    And I failed…again.

    Hey, how about that Funky Cancercancer…
    GAWD! I keeps on a-tryin’…

  77. Ukulele Ike
    November 20th, 2009 at 9:51 pm [Reply]

    Okay, please explain today’s Pearls Before Swine to me.

  78. Strangefate
    November 20th, 2009 at 10:08 pm [Reply]

    Now I understand why Dick Tracy usually kills the villains. Trying to explain their crimes a la Scooby Doo is just tedious. The coroner apparently doesn’t require half so much exposition to do his job.

  79. bats :[
    November 20th, 2009 at 10:19 pm [Reply]

    77. Ukulele Ike: there’s a “blindman’s bluff” game that’s played in a swimming pool. The play who is “It” has his eyes closed and yells “Marco!”…the other swimmers/folks in the pool yell “Polo!” back at him, and he tries to grab one by sound alone.
    I always thought it was an idiotic game.

  80. Ukulele Ike
    November 20th, 2009 at 10:31 pm [Reply]

    Thank you!

    Idiotic joke, too.

  81. Red Greenback
    November 20th, 2009 at 10:31 pm [Reply]

    79: With a handle like bats :[ , I’d think that would be your favorite game.

  82. Lou Shumaker
    November 20th, 2009 at 10:40 pm [Reply]

    I hope y’all live to see tomorrow, because the comic pages are chock full of wholesome awesomeness. I’ll have to borrow from grindhouse movie posters to pump you up for what you’ll experience.

    * SEE! Mark Trail’s blazing Fist O’Justice with AN ADDED SURPRISE!

    * CHUCKLE at the BLACK WINDOWS of SUBURBAN DESPAIR in Hi & Lois!

    * GASP at Ted Forth’s NIGHTMARE PARENTS!!!

    * SNIFF as that guy in Rex Morgan exhibits more detective smarts than DICK TRACY!

    * And STARE, STARE, STARE at Meddlesome Mary’s eyes and realize with growing horror THEY’RE THE SAME COLOR AS THE WALL BEHIND HER!

    So set the alarm, put out the cat and lock the door. Come midnight, eastern standard time, head over to the Chronical Comics Page and witness THE GREATEST DAY OF COMICS YOU’VE EVER EXPERIENCED!!! It’s discombulicious!

  83. P
    November 20th, 2009 at 10:48 pm [Reply]

    SPOILER ALERT:

    Rerun Place:

    Go to your local library and look up the strips from 11/19-12/9/1972.

    All but 2 of those strips will be run over the 3 weeks, save for, of course Thel’s hair.

  84. Alan's Addiction
    November 20th, 2009 at 11:07 pm [Reply]

    Even though I’ve come to ironically enjoy the general lameness of “Spider-Man” just as much as the next guy, I have to admit that I’m not all that crazy about the insane art scheme in today’s strip, which appears to be “All Stripes, All the Time.” Even Sandman’s hair is striped, which is bad enough, but the stripes aren’t even in the same direction from panel to panel. Come on, guys, if the best thing you can think of for your villains is “interesting hair,” at least make that hair consistent.
    Actually, Cyber the tiger is snarling in today’s “Dick Tracy” because he knows that “animals” are included in the definition of “circus property.” Since the resale value of adult tigers is shockingly low (pets that devour their owners aren’t the rage they used to be), we can only assume that the villains intend to literally sell poor Cyber for parts, which are highly valued as fashion statements and, in some cultures, aphrodisiacs. We can only hope that this is some sort of ominous foreshadowing for what is going to be the goriest kill-fest in DT history as the villains are devoured by captive circus animals.
    I realize that soap opera strips move slowly and spend most of their time repeating the same information for the benefit of casual readers, but today’s “Judge Parker” takes this trend a bit too far. The characters literally spend the entire strip rephrasing what’s said in the first panel (which is presumably restating a discovery made in a previous strip). If this breakneck pacing continues, I predict that in two weeks, the strip will somehow start moving back in time.
    Nothing ever associated with “Ziggy” can have an “NC-17″ rating, or anything even close to questionable sexual content, for the simple reason that the main character doesn’t appear to have any genitalia. I’m not Wilt Chamberlain or a doctor, but I do believe that sex organs are needed to have sex; unless Ziggy is some sort of bacteria that reproduces via mitosis or binary fission, which would confirm several suspicions I have about him.
    Speaking of improbably biological mechanics, I want to know how that wrench monkey in today’s “Slylock Fox” moves around. Those legs are the textbook definition of “useless.”

  85. Buck Ripsnort
    November 20th, 2009 at 11:19 pm [Reply]

    Actually, I believe the NC-17 “Full Ziggy” involves PUTTING ON pants. Then taking a dump in them. Then photo-copying said dump and sending it to the syndicate as a Ziggy cartoon.

  86. Steve L
    November 20th, 2009 at 11:22 pm [Reply]

    With strips like this, they should change the name of “Spider-Man” to “Chronicles of Senility”.

  87. Sequitur
    November 20th, 2009 at 11:28 pm [Reply]

    Pants are overrated.

  88. LITTLE A. OF THE GRAND CONCOURSE JUNGLE PATROL
    November 20th, 2009 at 11:46 pm [Reply]

    71 Yellow Cat: My Ferkokte Bronx Crystal Ball already predicted this.

    Or maybe Toni will run off with Brad’s mom.

    Or maybe we will find out that Toni was a daughter that Brad’s mom gave up at birth. They look alike, at least in the lips.

    Or maybe TJ will run off with Quill.

  89. kallista
    November 20th, 2009 at 11:46 pm [Reply]

    Years ago I worked for a serial killer. It’s ok; I was making $12 an hour, which was pretty good for a paralegal and a single gal back in the day. He was representing himself, and I was appointed to his case, so he was my supervisor. As I’m sure you can imagine, he was kinda creepy. Know what I mean? Extremely intelligent, oily, and manipulative. He spoke several languages, collected mouse droppings, and killed men, women, children, and dogs. All in all, a fairly terrifying guy, and I always cringed when the guards would unfasten his waist and leg chains so he could write while we met in the private room to discuss his case. As frightening as he was, he was far less scary than Tim in Rex Morgan. Becka is lucky to get out alive.

    Also, one benefit of working for this guy is that he has made all my bosses since then seem like Albert Schweitzer.

  90. LITTLE A. OF THE GRAND CONCOURSE JUNGLE PATROL
    November 20th, 2009 at 11:47 pm [Reply]

    Or maybe we will find out that Luann is pregnant, with Gunther’s child.

  91. Les of the Jungle Patrol
    November 20th, 2009 at 11:50 pm [Reply]

    Dick Tracy attempts to address the terrible shame of manboobs by promoting them visibly on the male trapeeze artist. But clumsily, they cast him as villuian, undermining their good cause.

    For once, I want to see a good guy with manboobs. We’re not all evil!

  92. kallista
    November 20th, 2009 at 11:50 pm [Reply]

    It just didn’t fit with my prior comment, but I’d like to request that Delilah’s baby be black. Or perhaps Hmong.

  93. MattC
    November 20th, 2009 at 11:59 pm [Reply]

    92. These are fine ideas, kallista, but I would like the birth of Delilah’s baby to mirror that scene in the movie Alien. You know what scene I mean. It turns out Del had one of those things on her face for like a week. Nobody noticed.

  94. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    November 21st, 2009 at 12:07 am [Reply]

    92 kallista: All my prayers will be answered if that baby comes out wearing a stripey-shirt and humming a tune from South Pacific.

  95. NoahSnark
    November 21st, 2009 at 12:10 am [Reply]

    A helpful hint for the creators of the Spider-Man comic strip: replacing super hero action with malaise and ennui will not fool people into thinking you are a spin off of Twilight.

  96. Poteet
    November 21st, 2009 at 12:19 am [Reply]

    # 89 kallista — I’m basically kind of stunned with horror, but a tiny part of my brain is demanding to know why anyone would collect mouse doots. I have an outbuilding that holds a lot of prairie seed, so it has a lot of mice. (I’ve trapped almost a hundred in the past two months to feed my finicky old cat. Don’t ask.) Anyway, I’ve probably seen a thousand mouse doots in the past two decades, and they all look alike. At least cat doots vary a lot.

  97. Farley's Revenge
    November 21st, 2009 at 12:34 am [Reply]

    #14Sequitur: Dang. I did forget “evil”.

  98. Amateur
    November 21st, 2009 at 12:57 am [Reply]

    You know, I never understood people who were scared of clowns before. (I never saw Stephen King’s “It,” so maybe that’s way.) Until I saw this clown in “Dick Tracy.”

    It’s not even that he’s a criminal; it’s that perpetual sour look. He’s the embodiment of “Your face is going to freeze that way.” Yipe!

  99. josefina
    November 21st, 2009 at 1:15 am [Reply]

    In other words, Sam, never one to rest on his laurels, is working hard to secure the title of Dickiest Man Alive.

    Considering that his competition is 1) Mark “Sublimated Violence” Trail, 2) Dr. Mary’s Safe-T-Man/Adrian’s Electra-Object/Sad Closet Queen, 3) the mopey widower in that cartoon where everyone and their junk radiates Chernobyl-levels of existential despair, 4) Jeffy and Ziggy, whose d*cks cannot be glimpsed or named or even thought about too much, lest one invites the apocalypse—

    Let’s give Sam the title.

  100. Mooncattie
    November 21st, 2009 at 1:29 am [Reply]

    DT – Hang on a minute, you mean this is all happening at a circus??? Geez, I skip the comics for one day, and now none of this storyline makes any sense. I like the tiger, though!

    S-M – I wish he’d been named “Mister Big Stuff”, so at least I’d have a decent earworm to enjoy while following this rubbish.

    RMMD – I’ve been trying to read this tale as “The Origin of James Carville”, and although generally the multiple piercings, broken TV, his “crib” on a golf course, and the lame extortion attempts all fit in beautifully, I’m still waiting for him to start talkin’ all funnylike.

    9CL – Against all odds, I’m actually enjoying Granny’s backstory. She’s not Thorax, and it’s a nice change from her irritating granddaughter.

    MW – Yes, I get it. When you follow Mary’s advice without question, things go fine. When you delay a little bit before obeying, things get iffy for a time. When you ignore the advice completely, it’s over the cliff with a bottle of Johnny Walker!

  101. Poteet
    November 21st, 2009 at 1:55 am [Reply]

    11/21

    MT — This is what happens when you show up in MT with long sideburns, you kicked-and-punched fools.

    MW — Those “phones” are definitely thinner than they were a couple of days ago. But they still don’t look like cell phones. Sorry, small pumice-colored shape-shifting aliens. You’ll have to do a lot better than that.

  102. Jonn
    November 21st, 2009 at 1:55 am [Reply]

    In other words, Sam, never one to rest on his laurels, is working hard to secure the title of Dickiest Man Alive.

    Sorry, Spencer Pratt’s got that all locked up.

  103. Poteet
    November 21st, 2009 at 2:07 am [Reply]

    11/21

    CRANKSHAFT — What the heck does she mean by saying Dad can’t hurt himself for four months? What does she plan to do, chain him to his bed? Winter is a fine time for people to hurt themselves, including old people. Just one icy day last winter caused a couple dozen people in my county to show up at the emergency room with varoius injuries.

    PHANTOM — Rationalize how you will, Stripey-Butt, a lot of parents (and some non-parents as well) are still going to think you’re behaving like a douche.

  104. Poteet
    November 21st, 2009 at 2:29 am [Reply]

    MW — As I look at Mary’s expression in the second panel, I’m reminded of a quote from some James Bond novel that I read years ago. Bond had been captured, and one of the subordinates of the Chief Villain was an insane nun who had worked at a German concentration camp.

    Bond is informed by Chief Villain that Insane Nun will soon torture him to death. The quote is something like, “Bond had no illusions that death would come quickly. That ghastly creature with the twinkling blue eyes would not want to be deprived of a single moment of her fun.”

    Brrrrr.

  105. Mr. O'Malley
    November 21st, 2009 at 2:35 am [Reply]

    Luann: Not true! Starbucks closed down in Australia. They couldn’t handle the competition from the local brands—much better coffee at half the price.

    Quill must have been overseas for several years …

    FC: This shows how old this strip is. The only places where you could buy a turkey from a person standing behind a counter like this is at an upscale market, and they would NEVER touch the meat with their bare hands. Where are the wings on that turkey?

    Note to younger people: this is what supermarkets used to be like, and the man behind the counter was a union member and he got a living wage and full benefits. Unbelieveable, no?

    MT: So how is all this going to pay Bob’s bills? Is there a reward for punching gator poachers?

    Pluggers is heading into Monty Python territory :”My father beat me black and blue with a two by four every night, and it never did ME any harm!”

    RMMD: If that layabout weren’t so drug-addled, he could wittily reply: “If you break my neck … you’re a murderer!”

  106. Judas Peckerwood
    November 21st, 2009 at 2:41 am [Reply]

    I’m all for keeping superannuated serial strips like Mary Worth A3G and Rex Morgan alive for the unintentional amusement they provide. But Judge Parker, Judge Parker, Jr., Sam Driver and everyone in their immediate and extended circles should be liquidated with extreme prejudice and never spoken of again.

  107. Spiderman Defense League
    November 21st, 2009 at 3:10 am [Reply]

    You don’t think, what with that tiger getting a solo frame, maybe Jack Elrod’s subbing in on Dick Tracy, do ya? Maybe he’s fed up with fists and wants his protagonist to finally just shoot someone.

    Also, do you think Agent Ennen was named that just so they could make Dick appear to be stuttering in today’s last frame?

  108. Alfred E. Neuman
    November 21st, 2009 at 3:10 am [Reply]

    JP— Josh said, “In other words, Sam, never one to rest on his laurels, is working hard to secure the title of Dickiest Man Alive.”
    Based on several previous posts, it looks like there’s a lot of agreement about this statement, so who could possibly disagree? Just one person: Abbey Spencer. As far as we know, Sam has never inflicted any dick on her.

  109. LouieLouie
    November 21st, 2009 at 3:21 am [Reply]

    With the new name change to Bigtime, Bigshot also seems to have grown taller.

  110. Oregonian
    November 21st, 2009 at 3:37 am [Reply]

    SM: he’s like the love child of Catwoman and Lex Luthor when compared to Bigshot, who got his name because he’s short

    Really? I thought he got the name from the size of his handgun. That revolver he was waving around last week had the barrel of a rifle.

  111. Mibbitmaker
    November 21st, 2009 at 3:45 am [Reply]

    the 21st:

    A3G: Trust me, Ari — go with careful!

    Luann: More of this cutesy patter and nobody’ll have an apetite for Thanksgiving dinner.

    Between Friends –> Between FOOBs –> Cathy FOOBs

    Cranky: You’re forgetting slipping on ice, Pam (seconding Poteet at #103). Honestly, Pam, did you forget what universe you dwell in?

    HotC: ESCAPE FROM “LIO”! REPEAT: ESCAPE FROM “LIO”!….

    MW: More of this cutesy patter and nobody’ll have an apetite for Thanksgiving dinner.

    JP: Dunn-dunn–DUNNNNNNN…!

    Lockhorny: …And their marriage hit a new low as she took a dump on Leroy’s head, pidgeon-style.

    MT: Aaaaaaaaaand HERE’s the GRAND FINALE!! …fireworks-style.

    Ghost-Who’s-Lost: Dick Tracy: “And the problem is……?”

    S4th: Ted is already well explained…

    S-M: This is no time to be singing Who songs, Sandmartyr!

    The Unoriginal Mind of Edison Lee: Hey, comics — STOP RIPPING OFF “BONE”!! Jeff Smith needs a lawyer, pronto!

  112. Baka Gaijin
    November 21st, 2009 at 5:39 am [Reply]

    #9 Farley’s Revenge: Thanks for the warning. For the past few months I’ve opened this page with images disabled to preclude a startling discovery.

    #14 Sequitur and #97 Farley’s Revenge: Talking about clowns, “evil” is automatically assumed, like “Margo McGee” and “bitch.”

    #1 Pozzo: I think you meant to write, “Personally, I’d be MORE likely to go to a circus if I thought there was a good chance someone clowns would die in bizarre grisly manners involving aioli, adenotomies, acroliths, and/or acipensers.”

  113. mordock999
    November 21st, 2009 at 7:47 am [Reply]

    Today’s Luann – 11/21/09

    On the Phone-

    Quill: “Luann, I really appreciate you inviting me to Thanksgiving Dinner, but won’t Elwood and Gunther be JEALOUS?”

    Luann: “Oh, them? Ha,ha! Don’t worry about ‘em! You see, here in AMERICA we have a Tradition: We ONLY date DULL, BORING, UNATTRACTIVE guys until something BETTER comes along and you are IT, Snuggle-Bunny!”

    Quill: “Well, if you think its okay…,”

    Luann: “GOOD, its a date. I’ll pick you up at Four. After dinner I’ll treat you to a movie and later, (GIGGLE) some DESSERT! See ‘ya Thanksgiving, Babe!”

    Hangs up -

    Quill: “I suddenly Feel so UNCLEAN!”

    ______________________

    DEATH to TJ!!!

  114. Lucky
    November 21st, 2009 at 8:44 am [Reply]

    9 Chickweed Lane – So Granny’s going on a secret mission to give Hitler some kind of venereal disease. Charming.

    Cleats – Goddamnit, I’ve been trying to come up with some cheap joke about balls this whole week, but with no success. I wouldn’t be so angry if I hadn’t forced myself read Cleats every day because of that.

  115. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    November 21st, 2009 at 9:05 am [Reply]

    MT: Double face kicks! A groin kick! High-quality Trailian facial-hair punching! Random bold-facing! Casual conversation about their relationship while all this is going on!

    Mark and Bob could make quite the dynamic bland-but-with-bursts-hysterical-violence duo!

    You gotta love the fine ethical distinction that Bob makes in panel 1, too: “I’ll break the law, and I’ll kill alligators just for their hides, but by god, I’m not a pet killer! Those guys are just evil!”

    MW: Speaking of evil—The icy, unblinking gaze; the fixed, supposedly harmless little smile; the creeping blackness up her arm: Mary Worth truly is the embodiment of all that is unholy.

    Further evidence: The torture we’ve undergone this past week with the Phone Hoagie-Roll Call that Would Never End. It makes one long for a plate of salmon squares and the sweet release of food-poisoned death.

    A3G: In times like this, someone in Ari’s situation could benefit from the ability to analyze human nature, to use, say, one’s education and professional experience to determine the best course of action—the kinds of insights that come with years of work in the field of studying human motivation, emotion, and behavior. It’s really too bad for him that he lacks any of that; now, lacking any other guiding resources, he just has to listen to his dick.

  116. One-eyed Wolfdog
    November 21st, 2009 at 9:07 am [Reply]

    Discussion: Which active cartoonist’s work is best described by the piquant phrase “Even when you’re pathetic, you’re still pretentious”, from today’s My Cage?

  117. mr 12 oz can
    November 21st, 2009 at 9:11 am [Reply]

    wtf is mark trail now a magic act . first mark walks on water to beat a gator then today a treeappears out of nowhere so bob can can do his monkey swing and take out 2 sideburns at once . in the second panal bob and mark are pretending to be batman and robin this is the most bullshit ive ever seen . next you know some guy will call cherry queenie and get 50 thousand out of her . well im off to meet attractive rich lonely woman i know a place that has the best rice pudding in town .

  118. dreadedcandiru2
    November 21st, 2009 at 9:18 am [Reply]

    Sunday Strips to avoid:

    ReFoob: Elly is gobsmacked because John doesn’t agree that the video game he’s playing will lead to the corruption of the nation’s youth, the destruction of their morals and the possibility that when Lizzie grows up, she will tell her poor, put-upon mother to quit trying to fix her up with that sleazy accountant with the ridiculous moustache.

    Cancer Cancerbean: It’s the first blast across the bow of the annual tradition of selling band turkeys.

  119. Ukulele Ike
    November 21st, 2009 at 9:27 am [Reply]

    MT: I forgot Blondie’s name was Bob (what, YOU remembered?) and enjoyed that Sideburns called him “Bo” in today’s first panel. Also hoped that he could become a regular in the strip, kind of a sidekick for Mark, adding his Feet of Justice to every storyline’s ultimate punchings.

    9CL: Excellent. Brooke reaches deep into the past to turn the only morally-upright character in the strip into a wartime whore! “Would you go all the way for the USO,” indeed.

    One-eyed Wolfdog @ 116: Oooooh, I know! I know!

  120. Little Guy
    November 21st, 2009 at 9:43 am [Reply]

    SpideyWhatever: Sandman can fight Spiderman with BigBalls’ fat carcass. Problem solved.

    yFOOB: It is clearly photoshopped. The original had Elly holding a martini glass as Michael is climbing in the back seat with the plastic covering from the dry cleaners.

  121. Little Guy
    November 21st, 2009 at 9:51 am [Reply]

    Nein Chickweedlane: So, in “Operation Valkyrie”? SHE was the Valkyrie? No wonder Hitler went over the edge.

    MT: Like Joe Stalin went over to the Allies after Barbarossa. Next week, he’ll build a wall for pets, and Mark will have to airlift Pet Chow into the Lost Forest.

  122. MolyBendum
    November 21st, 2009 at 10:22 am [Reply]

    Apartment 3G A spoiled, unhappy woman…man that’s a real turn-on. A kiss from a girl like that really makes a guy feel like wearing the same suit for 3 weeks and wandering aimlessly around with a hastily drawn 1950’s backdrop. She might not make your brown eyes turn blue, Ari, but I bet on Sunday your hair will turn blond, so that’s a start anyway.

    B.C. Hey, it’s a semi-elaborately drawn, funny, smart, B.C.! I’m going to go crawl in my fallout shelter now. Lemme know when the flying pigs quit pooping so much.

    Mark Trail Well there you go, one of those kicking fight scenes that happen every day during modern forest battles. Not like the forest fights of yore, where they would just throw sticks at each other. Oh evolution, you are ever more violent.

    Rex Morgan Mustaches make you look not so much intimidating as they do…pedophilic.

  123. Mibbitmaker
    November 21st, 2009 at 10:40 am [Reply]

    FW Next Week: Oh, goody. The Band Turkey bit was tedious even back when this strip was good.

    MT: Aligator killin’ fine, but no killing pets. In this nature comic, the only animals that count are the domesticated ones.

    RMMD: Besides extortion and accessory to homicide, Cue is also responsible for the Madoff Ponzie scheme, 9/11, the murder of Dr. Richard Kimball’s wife, nukes in Iran and North Korea, the Balloon Boy bebacle, the Vietnam War, the Lindburg kidnapping, The Wreck of the Hesperus, the latest economic crisis, the Bay of Pigs, Watergate, Iran-Contra, Hurricane Katrina, and about 50 other things he DIDN’T DO.

  124. Islamorada Girl
    November 21st, 2009 at 10:58 am [Reply]

    89&96: Coprophagia? I’m assuming Thomas Jefferson was right when he said a man who represents himself in court has a fool for a lawyer.

  125. Islamorada Girl
    November 21st, 2009 at 11:02 am [Reply]

    MW: Now I know what a meddlegasm looks like, and it ain’t pretty at all.

  126. gleeb
    November 21st, 2009 at 11:06 am [Reply]

    ‘bean: OK, so you’ve established once again that Creepy Les has been a hapless loser for his entire life. Can we get back to the man about to kill himself now? Or am I not being specific enough?

    Luann: She’s going to take him to Wall-Mart? What does she have against him?

    Mark: Feet of Justice!

  127. commodorejohn
    November 21st, 2009 at 11:19 am [Reply]

    A3G – “I do need to be careful. Because, y’know, I’m pretty sure this violates all kinds of ethics regulations.”

    BC – I think I’ve been there.

    BrS – Um. Wow. Are they really going to get stampeded to death by elephants? So that’s where the ending to the current Dick Tracy storyline got to.

    Crankshaft – She’s wearing black in mourning for her soul, which finally died sometime last night.

    GT – You have to respect a girl who wears an octopus on her head.

    Luann – Wow. What an accomplishment; it’s equally offensive to both nations! Give yourself a pat on the back, Evans m’boy. Also, “come, I’ll share my bounty” has to have been ripped from some high-brow, classy erotic fiction.

    MT – Okay. Jesus can return now; human civilation has finally reached its perfect apex.

    NAOQV – Okay, this past week has been a little hit-and-miss, but today’s was pretty good.

    RMMD – Jesus. You know, I was pretty sure Tim was being set up to be the Anthony, but I’m starting to wonder.

    SF – *glee*

    SM – Yay! More!

    Edison Lee – Even nature hates him.

  128. commodorejohn
    November 21st, 2009 at 11:26 am [Reply]

    #116 One-Eyed Wolfdog – Hmm. I was going to say Tom Batiuk, but that’s more “even when you’re pretentious, you’re still pathetic.”

  129. Hank
    November 21st, 2009 at 11:31 am [Reply]

    RE: Mark Trail ( bourbon babe, unbuckled and Mibbitmaker comments): Legally and (arguably) ethically (unless you’re some animal rights whacko) pets are different than wild animals. Go out and shoot a deer in hunting season and there’s no legal penalty. Go out and shoot your neighbors’ dog and you’ll get charged with animal cruelty. Therefore, the strip’s position that there’s a legal and moral difference between a poacher of alligators and someone who’d use a frightened puppy as bait is pretty much the norm in society.

  130. commodorejohn
    November 21st, 2009 at 11:38 am [Reply]

    #129 Hank – In Mark Trail, it’s not a legal or moral difference; it’s a cosmological difference.

  131. Techie
    November 21st, 2009 at 11:38 am [Reply]

    Theoretically, I’ve heard the R/NC-17 difference comes from the fact that, while it certainly looks intense, the gore in all those movies are special effects; all latex and red-colored corn syrup, while the sex scenes are arguably “real”; ie. the actors are all naked and writhing on each other, getting to second (or third) base.

    I’m not saying that justifies it, but that’s the explanation I’ve heard.

  132. website design
    November 21st, 2009 at 11:41 am [Reply]

    What I’d like to know is exactly who really does the Spider-Man strip. I highly doubt Stan Lee has scripted anything regularly since the 70s, though I suppose his brother (Larry, the artist on the daily strip) probably still works on it.

    Maybe Marvel just rotates the daily strip’s writing chores to a group of writers in the bullpen; it’d make sense.

  133. Hank
    November 21st, 2009 at 11:42 am [Reply]

    RE: Apt 3G. Yes, Ari, you know nothing about Bobbie Merrill except that she’s unhappy woman who led a privileged life…oh, and the fact she’s a manipulative junkie. Real good insight into her personality there, Mr. Shrink.

    RE: Dick Tracy. So now it was a plot to scare everyone away so the villain could buy the abandoned circus? Did Locher write this strip while half in the bag watching a ‘Scooby Doo’ marathon?

  134. Chas
    November 21st, 2009 at 11:47 am [Reply]

    I just couldn’t wait for the Curmudgeon’s reaction on today’s MARK TRAIL! Bob brings the FEET O’ JUSTICE in Sassy’s defense, coming back from the dark side, then he and Mark dole out double FIST O’ JUSTICE action! Has it ever been better than this? If Mark doesn’t dump Rusty and make this poor, unemployed swap-dweller his side kick at minimum wage then there is no JUSTICE O’ JUSTICE.

  135. Alfred E. Neuman
    November 21st, 2009 at 11:55 am [Reply]

    9CL— Brooke has his history all wrong. It was the Japanese who used “comfort girls”, not the Germans.

    MW— I am amused that Delilah is phoning Mary from Charley’s apartment. How do I know this? Who else in MW would have an old 1970’s Marantz SR 810 stereo receiver? It’s inexpensive and ideal for playing all of his Rodgers and Hammerstein LPs (using his Dual turntable and Advent speakers, of course). I also am amused that the stereo equipment and the books change shelves from one panel to another.
    I am easily amused.

  136. Hank
    November 21st, 2009 at 11:56 am [Reply]

    RE: Techie, November 21st, 2009 at 11:38 am. That actually makes sense, given that Boogie Nights was R-rated. The penis was a prosthetic.

  137. Muffaroo
    November 21st, 2009 at 12:09 pm [Reply]

    AD – Birds got bladders!

    Crankshaft – Ha ha. Crankshaft will be doing something stupid on the roof the first time it snows.

    Dick – “Aw, c’mon, that was a joke! Laugh, clown, laugh! Ho hee ha!”

    Marfield – Artist’s tip: If you’re going to draw a pop culture character, have a look at it first.
    PS to colorists: Absorbent and YELLOW and porous is he!

    Peanuts – It’s a golf joke… and it’s funny… does not compute… head feels explodey…

    Pluggers know how to groom the next generation to turn out just like them.

    Prickly – Sure is good to be out of that sequence. OH NO!

    R=R – That must be her “let me read the comics” tree. I wonder which one is the “out of her fucking” tree.

    Ziggy – Is “alphabet solid” the platonic ideal of an alphabet? What’s it doing with the platonic ideal of “loser”?

  138. Muffaroo
    November 21st, 2009 at 12:10 pm [Reply]

    kallista @89 – I really treasure the ability of my eyes to look at something and see something else. How else would I have had the joy of reading a post where you said that a serial killer made all your bosses seem like Carl “Alfalfa” Switzer?

    Mr. O’Malley @105 – Luxury. We had to go to work every morning at ten o’clock at night, half an hour before we’d gone to bed, eat a lump of cold poison, work twenty-nine hours a day down mill, week in, week out, and pay the owner for the privilege, and when we got home, our dad would kill us and dance about on our grave singin’ ‘allelujah.

    LouieLouie @109With the new name change to Bigtime, Bigshot also seems to have grown taller.
    He probably took some Viagra. HAR.

  139. Muffaroo
    November 21st, 2009 at 12:11 pm [Reply]

    ps: Two performances of Carousel left. Wild success. After last night’s show, the cast went to a party and had a talent show, and I played Bumble Boogie. There was applause. Soon it will be over, and I’ll feel empty. That’s show biz, or whatever the amateur version thereof is called.

  140. Poteet
    November 21st, 2009 at 12:12 pm [Reply]

    DT — Before this story (to use the term loosely) mercifully dies, it would be interesting to see some Mudge try to reconcile, or at least lay out, what exactly has happened and what, supposedly, are the reasons for it happening.

    But then, are there really any Mudges whom I dislike so much that I would want them to risk their sanity undertaking such a task? Hell no. So I’ll just say that in terms of incoherency, insane contradictory dialogue, and massive boredom, this is the worst DT story I’ve read since I started reading the strip again. Deep sympathies to Cyber the Tiger.

  141. odinthor
    November 21st, 2009 at 12:16 pm [Reply]

    GT. — Looks like Valerie and Jamarr are nose-diving on the same moral plane. Sniff. It’s always so beauty-full when soul-mates find each other!

    JP. — Ladies and gentlemen, we are pleased to announce that the part of Sam Driver will be played today by the great star of Adam-12, Kent McCord!

    MT. — Greatest. Fisticuffs (and shoe-icuffs). Evah. !!! Only the Bill Ritter triple slug-fest comes close!

    MC.

    Even when you’re pathetic, you’re still pretentious.

    Unfortunately, I’ll be remembering this in my dreams tonight. :-(

    OBH. — Win. But I was expecting a “his master’s voice” jape.

    RMMD. — “You see, his mother has the perfume made especially for her and her alone, so it’s inconceivable that anyone else could wear it.” (—from the study notes provided in the secret Illuminati edition.)

  142. Poteet
    November 21st, 2009 at 12:22 pm [Reply]

    # 139 Muffaroo — Yay! May your last two performances go equally well, and may you soon be engrossed in another production.

    I’m a subscriber to a community theater company, and what they do really is good, at least to me. And contrary to the complaints I hear about some people who go to the big national touring productions in Des Moines, the people who attend the community theater performances really do turn off their electronic devices and give their full attention to the stage.

  143. Baka Gaijin
    November 21st, 2009 at 12:28 pm [Reply]

    #140 Poteet: Here’s what happened: Dick Tracy went to the circus with some interchangeable plot device, a dead person fell out of the sky, EVILSCARYCLOWN AAAAAAaaaAAAAAAaaaaAAAA! [runs around, arms flailing uncontrollably] And that’s where we’re at right now.

  144. Poteet
    November 21st, 2009 at 12:30 pm [Reply]

    # 143 Gaijin — Bwahaha! Your version is far less painful than the original.

  145. Mardou Fox
    November 21st, 2009 at 12:36 pm [Reply]

    The look of quiet satisfaction on Mark’s face as he punches Sideburns is priceless.

  146. Baka Gaijin
    November 21st, 2009 at 12:36 pm [Reply]

    #144 Poteet: aaaaAAAaaaAAAAAaaaAAA! What? Thanks. Back to business. AAAAAaaaaaAAAAAAAaaa AAAAAaaaAAAAaaaa…!

  147. Mimi
    November 21st, 2009 at 12:47 pm [Reply]

    RMMD — Somebody help me out. Last I remember Cue was standing in a phone booth with the headlights of a cop car reflecting off his bony head. Now he’s alone in his trailer with nary an officer of the law in sight. Did I miss something? Is this all part of an elaborate sting to catch Tim for… something?

  148. mr 12 oz can
    November 21st, 2009 at 12:49 pm [Reply]

    the reason dr pappagoras didnt get in the elevator is because hes going to the supermarket and will come back to the hotel room to make some risotto .i bet bobbie wont be alone

  149. mr 12 oz can
    November 21st, 2009 at 12:51 pm [Reply]

    i said this 2 days ok mimi but most people here would rather talk about themselves then the comics .

  150. zerowolf
    November 21st, 2009 at 1:06 pm [Reply]

    Luann: At first I thought she said she’d share her booty.

  151. zerowolf
    November 21st, 2009 at 1:09 pm [Reply]

    Mary looks like she’s tweeking. More powerful than meth is meddle.

  152. DavidMac
    November 21st, 2009 at 2:02 pm [Reply]

    SLYLOCK FOX: The “mechanic” appears to be holding a pipe wrench which would indicate that he’s probably a plumber; it would also indicate why Slylock and his little sidekick have to walk everywhere.

  153. mollificent
    November 21st, 2009 at 2:03 pm [Reply]

    GT: I laughed unironically. What can I say?

    JP: Uh oh. Mr. Muscles there looks like “Guilty” oughtta be tattooed across his forehead. Which of course means it can’t be him *eyeroll*

    Seriously, I hope this isn’t some plot by the wife. Dixie’s legacy ought not be sullied by crude imitation.

    MT: Wow! Action-tastic! Mark gets in a RFOJ, and Bob sees his fist and raises him two faceplanted boots! Niiiiiice.
    Muffaroo/Poteet: God, I miss amateur/community theatre. I did some seriously amazing CT back on Maui in high school. Then when I went to college, the theatre department (my major) was VERY snooty about local community theatre. They wouldn’t cast me in a damned thing, because apparently I wasn’t “marketable” enough (at 4′9″) and kept telling me to embrace my limitations and not try to stretch myself as an actor, because I was never going to get cast in anything but kids’ roles and fairies. (Tuition money well-spent there *eyeroll*.) Oh, and they HATED musical theatre (my specialty) with a burning Stanislavskian passion.

    Anyway, since I couldn’t get any respect in my department, I auditioned for local CT and had the pleasure of being in some fantastic productions. The university productions I attended, on the other hand, tended to be excruciatingly pretentious (and pathetic, haha) and I kept thinking, “How exactly do they consider themselves superior here?” There’s something to be said for doing theatre purely for its own sake, rather than doing it to prove to the world how perfect your Method acting skills are (and for credit, of course).

    I’m sure there are theatre programs out there that are actually good, and I don’t by any stretch mean to tar them all with the same brush. I unfortunately made a poor choice. But the community theatre world saved me from sinking into the morass of lowered self-expectations. :)

    Lordy, another Great American Novel from mollificent. Sheesh. :)

  154. Meg
    November 21st, 2009 at 2:07 pm [Reply]

    I think of my DVD copy of “The Dreamers” less as “sexy flick” and more like “good frisbee”.

  155. Peripheral Visionary
    November 21st, 2009 at 2:11 pm [Reply]

    9CL: I’m torn on this. I admit that the idea of Brooke trying to turn his comic strip into another one appeals to me, because virtually anything would be better than the tiresome self-obsession we have to deal with in these panels every day. But did it have to be Modesty Blaise?

  156. bats :[
    November 21st, 2009 at 2:29 pm [Reply]

    101. Poteet re MW: the size of cell phones becoming smaller and smaller…. Maybe this explains why Adrian Cory had her hand to her face so much in the previous storyline — important, young, kicky doctor was on the phone! And of course, she simply has to have the newest, smallest, sexiest model cell phone out there. I think its the iMoron.
    Of course, Mary, being frugal, and Delilah being married to a geezer, would have to settle for the larger, older, more cumbersome models…

  157. Digger
    November 21st, 2009 at 2:49 pm [Reply]

    MT: Surely Mark will not stand by and allow Bob to show him up with that tree-swinging double-kick maneuver. I can’t wait to see how Mark ups the ante in tomorrow’s strip. Oh, crap, tomorrow’s Sunday. We’ll be learning about some bird, I guess.

  158. bats :[
    November 21st, 2009 at 2:54 pm [Reply]

    Late to the Party Saturday comments:

    MW: speaking of parties, what are the odds of Pool Party Sunday? They’re lookin’ good!

    Mutts: yesh! But not eating the ice cream at least, Mooch? Wow…finickier than Poteet’s old cat who won’t catch its own mice!

    Mark Trail: omg omg omg! Punchalicious! I can’t rework my wildlife defending themselves mashup with this, but this strip is a keeper.

    Phantom: maybe Mark and Bob can punch Kit in the head.

    RMMD: or creepy Mama’s Boy.

    A&J: this is great. I love Ludwig.

  159. Mardou Fox
    November 21st, 2009 at 2:55 pm [Reply]

    #157: Yes, we’ll be learning about some bird, or about how dangerous elephants and musk ox are to the planet, and then on Monday, pouf! We’ll be back at the cabin with Cherry, or Mark will be in his editor’s office in the big city. Sassy-bait story over!

    Hope I’m wrong. I want more punching!

  160. kallista
    November 21st, 2009 at 3:10 pm [Reply]

    mr 12 oz can is this better tim says cueball may be accessory to homicide but the real accessory to homicide is the burnt orange ascot worn with a robins egg blue shirt if dr jeff is on staff at the nursing home maybe he can lend green dinner jacket .

  161. tb4000
    November 21st, 2009 at 3:13 pm [Reply]

    SF: And now we finally receive the origin of Ted Forth.

  162. Anonymous
    November 21st, 2009 at 3:26 pm [Reply]

    ‘That’s when you tried to kill Agent Ennen and me.’

    ‘Agreed.’

    ‘So now this tiger is going to savage you.’

    ‘I don’t have to listen you drone on any more? Sweet! Which bit would he like first? I recommend the abdomen, it’s piquant but rewarding.’

  163. TruthOfAngels
    November 21st, 2009 at 3:32 pm [Reply]

    Previous comment was me. I’d blame CCleaner if I wasn’t such a fuckwit.

  164. TruthOfAngels
    November 21st, 2009 at 3:34 pm [Reply]

    Also, frame 2 of the Slylock Fox machanic malarkey. Flasher. Look at it again and tell me I’m wring.

  165. TruthOfAngels
    November 21st, 2009 at 3:36 pm [Reply]

    Wrong! Yes, I’ve been drinking. Secured my dream flat with garden for kitties today. My unconditional apologies to anybody who’s been reading my drivel.

  166. mr 12 oz can
    November 21st, 2009 at 3:41 pm [Reply]

    #160 kallista did you notice that cue now back in the trailer is wearing pajamas !!! wtf im surprized nobody had a contest last week to guess how many quarters cue had in his pocket at the only phone booth at a golf course for sure .

  167. Little A and his Verkokte Magic Ball
    November 21st, 2009 at 3:41 pm [Reply]

    I’ve had a bit of a show business/theatre career myself. IN the second grade, I played a broken window in a safety play. In the fifth grade, I played a drunken Hessian soldier (this was about Washington and his troops crossing the Delaware river on Christmas Eve). The next year, I played Wendy’s father in a production of Peter Pan. Even though I brought down the house in each production, I was not discovered, there were no talent scouts in the audience. Had there been, my whle life might have been different.

  168. kallista
    November 21st, 2009 at 3:50 pm [Reply]

    mr 12 oz: Pajamas? I thought he was wearing some kind of moleskin peacoat.

  169. Annon
    November 21st, 2009 at 3:59 pm [Reply]

    SF So…Ted’s parents are even worse than Sal’s mother? This should be fun–I’m kind of rooting for Sal to get bitch-slapped.

  170. Calico
    November 21st, 2009 at 4:45 pm [Reply]

    #125 – A meddlegasm under the influence of meth, it seems.
    These Eyes…da da da da da da

  171. Sheila Sternwell
    November 21st, 2009 at 4:47 pm [Reply]

    #143 Baka – HA! Sorry to laugh at your pain, but I’ll tell you a little secret. If Spider-Man ever had any actual spiders in the strip, I’d be reacting the same way.

    #147 Mimi – You’re right, but I think we’re going to find out Cue either already handed the elders over to the nursing home owner, the one who caved to his $5K extortion demand, OR Cue is hiding them. Apparently some time lapsed between Cue’s phone call and Tim turning into the Hulk.

  172. Écureuil Écumant
    November 21st, 2009 at 4:50 pm [Reply]

    Luann: “Come,” she sez, “I’ll share my bounty.” I’m sure that’ll be as exciting as Quill’s first trip to Wal-Mart.

    Wait, that’s a little unfair. OK then, a Super Wal-Mart.

  173. Sheila Sternwell
    November 21st, 2009 at 4:57 pm [Reply]

    #149 mr 12 oz – A lot of the comments on comics themselves are made in a vacuum. Someone snarks about comics and maybe a couple of people will respond. Which is fine! It’s usually not malicious, though sometimes it is, which is the price you pay for posting on ANY Internet forum. I suggest you skim comments and just skip over the stuff you’re not interested in, and then say what you want in comments (within Josh’s rules, of course).

    Remember too that we’re snarking on comics with 3 panels per day and weak plots, there’s not a lot one CAN say about them without repeating ourselves. I have to stop myself from not constantly posting YOU SUCK BATIUK AND HERE’S WHY every day, for example.

  174. Écureuil Écumant
    November 21st, 2009 at 4:58 pm [Reply]

    JP: Rico looks astounded. So am I. The gunpowder residue test they’d do on Henry Garber (which will, of course, prove his innocence) involves swabbing his hands — preferably right at the crime scene. This is distinctly different from the GRT that they’d perform later on, in the lab, on D’Vito’s clothing to determine the distance from gun to target.

    Unless, of course, they’ve cut off Henry’s hands and taken them to the lab for analysis — which actually is quite in keeping with the usual JP concept of police procedure.

  175. Joe Blevins
    November 21st, 2009 at 5:00 pm [Reply]

    How To Draw The Mechanic

    S-M: Notice how dejected Sandman looks in panel 1. “C’mon, Bigshottime, I’m standing two feet away!”

    Z: “My horoscope’s never had an ‘NC-17′ rating before… and it doesn’t now. And I’m guessing it won’t tomorrow either. Nothing in my life ever changes. Well, see ya, folks.”

  176. bats :[
    November 21st, 2009 at 5:01 pm [Reply]

    Meanwhile! Out by the old swingin’ tire…

  177. Jake Morgendorffer
    November 21st, 2009 at 5:02 pm [Reply]

    In the progression from Christopher Columbus to simple-minded mechanic, I find the intermediate step the most disturbing–that of sex maniac/Central Park flasher.

  178. Calico
    November 21st, 2009 at 5:25 pm [Reply]

    #176 – Damn, Bats, that’s awesome.
    *bows and genuflects*

    I really enjoyed MT today – lots of Pow! Whap! Ooomph! Blammo! Etc.

  179. Artist formerly known as Ben
    November 21st, 2009 at 5:30 pm [Reply]

    11/21

    A3G: Aristotle Papagoras (1950-2009) musing on the cumbersome need to be careful as a taxi cab speeds toward the yellow light. Rest in irony.

    MT: Is “I’m changing to the good guys… I’m not a pet killer!” going to be the next T-shirt? Bob’s going Road House on his fellow poachers deserves some kind of commemoration.

    SFx: Okay, who’s trying to saw down the tree while two kids are in the treehouse and one is on a tire swing? Do they all have the same cash-strapped father?

    6C: Hey, the lady in the last panel has a snarky talking cat. About time we saw one of those in the comics.

    S-M: Enhanced speed and agility, plus an ability to sense danger, all score another glorious victory.

    GT: “All you have to do is walk in after he prematurely ejaculates. Just as a heads up I might be kinda naked. C’mon dad, it’ll be a scream.”

    DtM: If we can’t actually see the person he’s menacing, it doesn’t count. Nice try at rationalization, though, Mr. Wilson.

    Baldo: “Oh crap! She has a thesaurus! Better give her whatever she wants.”

    OBH: Joe teasing the dog is the funniest thing–at least in terms of intentional comedy–that I’ve seen in the comics all week.

    Popeye: Plug up the chimney while the machines inside the factory continue to churn? Sure, problem solved, genius.

    Lockhorns: Really, Leroy, do you think Loretta cares about your embarassing little passes? She’s engrossed in conversation with Joyce Carol Oates.

    Phantom: A cold-blooded killer who can change race at will?

    Luann: Nancy de Groot freaks because her twenty-something son is having his first serious girlfriend for Turkey Day dinner. Meanwhile, her teenage daughter is promising with a grin to–ahem–share her bounty with a hunky Australian. Nope, nothing wrong with those priorities.

  180. Sister Sestina
    November 21st, 2009 at 5:49 pm [Reply]

    mr 12 oz #149: “Rather” talk about themselves? The great majority of the personal stuff seems to spring from someone reacting to a comic strip and comparing the goings-on with their own experience, then others naturally chime in with their own takes and situations. We don’t all always have a new joke to flourish, but we all have personal experiences. And frankly I love hearing about them. The Curmudgeons are among the most literate, funny, fascinating correspondents I know. And which would you rather, hearing about what it was like to work for a serial killer (yikes, kallista) or the 4,286th variation of a Marvin poop joke?

  181. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    November 21st, 2009 at 5:56 pm [Reply]

    158 bats:[ — I think you could get pretty good odds on that pool party. After all, it would be a seamless transition from this week’s marathon of orgasmic, masturbatory self-congratulation into a group orgy of “let’s stroke Mary’s meddle ego” (meddlego?).

    Wait—is “masturbatory self-congratulation” a redundancy? Or just an accurate description of the state of the Worthiverse?

    JP: Here’s something I cannot figure out: Is Henry’s last name “Garber” or “Sarber”? That first letter looks like an “S” to me, but what kind of goofy name is that? (Yes, in fact, now that I’ve given my presentation on chalk-butt and pedagogy here at the conference, that IS the most pressing issue I have to deal with.)

  182. Calico
    November 21st, 2009 at 6:21 pm [Reply]

    #89 – Jesus Christ, Kallista.
    I would have been terrified.

  183. gnemec
    November 21st, 2009 at 6:23 pm [Reply]

    It’s a race between the number of convoluted, conflicting motives and the number of convoluted, conflicting depictions of a tiger. I don’t know which well will run dry first.

  184. Red Greenback
    November 21st, 2009 at 6:57 pm [Reply]

    Today’s Mark Trail with 75% less violence.

  185. Old School Allie Cat
    November 21st, 2009 at 7:12 pm [Reply]

    Luann – I’ve gotten squeamish about shopping at WalMart recently. Is it their questionable labor practices? The way they bully their vendors? That that put Mom and Pop shops out of business?

    No, it’s that I’m terrified of showing up on http://www.peopleofwalmart.com

    Ah, vanity.

    Anyway, RUN, Quill!

  186. Ed Dravecky
    November 21st, 2009 at 7:19 pm [Reply]

    What if Sandman and Spider-man aren’t wrong and we’ve been watching both Bigshot and his secret twin brother Bigtime commit this bank heist? This kind of switcheroo would be no less absurd than anything else we’ve seen in Spider-man since, um, ever.

  187. True Fable
    November 21st, 2009 at 7:44 pm [Reply]

    Stress relief for the eyes.

  188. Écureuil Écumant
    November 21st, 2009 at 7:50 pm [Reply]

  189. Alfred E. Neuman
    November 21st, 2009 at 8:05 pm [Reply]

    #181 bourbon babe, unbuckled wrote:
    “158 bats:[ — I think you could get pretty good odds on that pool party. After all, it would be a seamless transition from this week’s marathon of orgasmic, masturbatory self-congratulation into a group orgy of “let’s stroke Mary’s meddle ego” (meddlego?).”

    That’s a great comment, but I must give a gentle reminder that there is a CC posting requirement (I think it’s the “commodorejohn Rule”) that any reference to masturbatory activity must be preceded by the term “furious”, or the appropriate variation thereof.

  190. IagoPogo
    November 21st, 2009 at 8:29 pm [Reply]

    Post #175 by Joe Blevins deserves Comment Of the Week, Ride on the Float, if not “Greatest Snark Ever” accolades, IMHO

  191. Lanfranc
    November 21st, 2009 at 8:56 pm [Reply]

    RMMD: And today, Timmy the Annoying Gnome adds criminal threatening to his growing list of offences. Keep up the good work, mate!

  192. Poteet
    November 21st, 2009 at 9:17 pm [Reply]

    # 165 TruthOfAngels — No need to apologize. “Dream flat with garden for kitties” sounds lovely. Sounds like a place in London. *wistful sigh*

  193. Gold-Digging Nanny
    November 21st, 2009 at 9:26 pm [Reply]

    140 — Ummm, Poteet? I feel very sad and unloved that you didn’t notice I did just that back in comment 67. Although Baka Gaijin pretty much nailed it.

  194. Gold-Digging Nanny
    November 21st, 2009 at 9:42 pm [Reply]

    139 Muffaroo — Break a leg!

  195. Gold-Digging Nanny
    November 21st, 2009 at 9:50 pm [Reply]

    189 Alfred E. Neuman — Huh. That’s not what the fake AP Stylebook says.

  196. mollificent
    November 21st, 2009 at 10:23 pm [Reply]

    #195 Gold-Digging Nanny: Bwahahaha!! I had to subscribe to the Fake AP Stylebook after reading that. Thank God there are RSS feeds so I don’t actually have to join Twitter.

    (I’ve thought about it, but…my life is basically one long Twitter feed as it is. You may have noticed. ;))

  197. bats :[
    November 21st, 2009 at 11:00 pm [Reply]

    The Fake AP Stylebook is great! Many chuckles, a number of out-and-out guffaws.

    And in the vein of mashup integrity (which is sorta like journalistic integrity), I need to apologize to a certain young physician: http://www.flickr.com/photos/9545446@N07/4122289061/sizes/o/

  198. Poteet
    November 21st, 2009 at 11:02 pm [Reply]

    # 195 Nanny — I must gently beg to differ with fake AP Stylebook, which apparently never had a light-sleeper roommate.

    Eep. Did I say that out loud?

  199. Alfred E. Neuman
    November 21st, 2009 at 11:06 pm [Reply]

    #195 Gold-Digging Nanny— I can’t argue with those Twitter pros. I’m sure that people who spend all of their time on Twitter are absolute experts about furious masturbation.

  200. UncleJeff
    November 21st, 2009 at 11:12 pm [Reply]

    199 Alfred E. Neuman: Gee, just great Al and Gold-Digging Nanny. All this talk about “f.m.” and all I can think of is Coach Cleats and that great “Archie” panel.
    Wop! Wop! Wop!
    Good night, all!

  201. Mooncattie
    November 21st, 2009 at 11:30 pm [Reply]

    No point for me commenting on the funnies right now…it’s like whatever act followed The Beatles on the Ed Sullivan Show! I’ll try and come (oops) back after the screaming has died down!

    Ringo! Ringo! Ringo!

  202. kallista
    November 21st, 2009 at 11:40 pm [Reply]

    There’s also furiously masturbating’s cousin, furtively masturbating, which comes in handy (oh, dear) when in the company of light-sleeping roommates.

  203. Poteet
    November 21st, 2009 at 11:45 pm [Reply]

    # 193 Nanny — ARRRRRGH! How did I miss that incredible tour de force?? I hereby sentence myself to thirty bows, twenty snappy salutes, and ten genuflections, on top of deeply apologizing. I am so sorry! Please feel happy and loved again!

    And what ticks me off the most is that after your clever detectio, you can’t just march into the strip and arrest him.

  204. Poteet
    November 21st, 2009 at 11:46 pm [Reply]

    # 203 — Detection. *adds five more genuflections*

  205. bats :[
    November 21st, 2009 at 11:46 pm [Reply]

    And then there’s flirtaciously (flirtily?) masturbating, when some of those light-sleepers look pretty darned good…

  206. Alfred E. Neuman
    November 21st, 2009 at 11:56 pm [Reply]

    And all of those frustrated characters in My Cage engage in furrious masturbation.

  207. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    November 22nd, 2009 at 12:26 am [Reply]

    Sorry—my visualization brain cells and I just can’t reconcile ourselves to the words “Mary Worth” and “furiously masturbating” all coming together (so to speak). “Firmly,” perhaps. “Fastidiously,” certainly. “Fiendishly”? Um, yeah. “Flabbily,” absolutely.

    And “funereally”—without a doubt.

  208. Gold-Digging Nanny
    November 22nd, 2009 at 12:55 am [Reply]

    203 Poteet — I was joking about feeling sad and unloved (I can’t very well blame someone for not reading my comment when I don’t read all the comments either), so no apologies necessary. I’ll take the bows and genuflections, though. :) I’m just glad I was able to wrap up all those loose ends for you.

  209. Alfred E. Neuman
    November 22nd, 2009 at 1:04 am [Reply]

    #207 bourbon babe, unbuckled— With Mary, it would be a case of spurious masturbation.

  210. mollificent
    November 22nd, 2009 at 1:40 am [Reply]

    I just had to let you all know that I’m watching “Star Trek” with the accompanying RiffTrax, and the MST3K boys just made a Slylock Fox reference. Sweeeeeeeeet. :D

  211. commodorejohn
    November 22nd, 2009 at 2:08 am [Reply]

    #189 Alfred E. Neuman – The “commodorejohn Rule?” Goodness, what did I do to deserve this honor?

  212. bats :[
    November 22nd, 2009 at 2:10 am [Reply]

    209. Alfred E. Neuman: and with Mary’s rather unhealthy bone-density scan results, potentially injurious masturbation.

  213. Alfred E. Neuman
    November 22nd, 2009 at 2:39 am [Reply]

    #211 commodorejohn— A long time ago there was a discussion about the use of furious/furiously as modifiers of masturbation/masturbating in CC posts. I thought that you had been a part of that discussion, so I arbitrarily named the “rule” in your honor. I admit that I might not have remembered correctly, but timeliness was important for my post, (and I am way too lazy to track down the original posts), so I went ahead and gave you the credit. I hope you don’t mind — the “commodorejohn Rule” could become the Prime Directive of the Comics Curmudgeon.

  214. Bob Weber Jr
    November 22nd, 2009 at 3:08 am [Reply]

    Mollificent –
    Which Star Trek? I’d love to hear it! Can I listen online?

  215. bats :[
    November 22nd, 2009 at 3:20 am [Reply]

    A few late night Sunday observations:

    FW: someone’s subbing for old Tom. I wish it was like when I was in grade school and one of our teachers would get pregnant and went on maternity leave, and we got a much better substitute for the rest of the year.

    A3G: I really dislike the Sunday rehash that A3G is famous for, so consider this a formal protest.

    MW: dang. Not a pool or salmon square in sight. At least we’re spared the view of Ian Cameron’s massive Caledonian gut.

    RMMD: I’d appreciate this a lot more if it were Rex and Guido; Rex and Niki; Rex and Lee the Felon; Rex and Max “the Ax” Malloy; Rex and just about anyone else.

  216. Poteet
    November 22nd, 2009 at 3:43 am [Reply]

    # 208 Nanny — Thank you very much. And since seeing Dick disappear into a maximum security facility is too much to hope for, I’ll just hope we’re seeing Mr. Pops for the last time.

    11/22 RMMD — It’s no substitute for June and Rex, of course, but in its own way, that Ackkkk panel is pretty damn good. And I’m sure many older fans of this venerable strip will think, consciously or subconsciously, “Yeah, that’s what I think of piercings too.”

  217. mollificent
    November 22nd, 2009 at 3:43 am [Reply]

    #214 Bob Weber, Jr: It’s the 2009 movie. I don’t think there’s any way to listen online…it’s an mp3 you download from their website (www.rifftrax.com, it costs $4) and then sync up the mp3 with your DVD and listen to Mike, Bill and Kevin work their MST3K-style magic on the movie. Great stuff.

    The line in question is when Spock is about to mind-meld with, er, someone (no spoilers! ;)) and says “Our minds will become one” or some such, and one of the boys wisecracks, “Maybe together we can solve today’s ‘Slylock Fox.’ I’m sure my neighbors appreciated my shriek of laughter at this point. :D

  218. Left of the Pyle
    November 22nd, 2009 at 3:52 am [Reply]

    Luann – Nancy DeGroot has been so singlemindedly focused on breaking up Brad and Toni up that Luann (the strip) is on the verge of a teen sex/pregnancy plotline after Luann (the character) shares her bounty with Quill.

    BTW, all this guy has to do is turn on the Aussie accent and act like a library nerd and the high school girls can’t get their pants off fast enough. Yet when my nerdy ass did a Croc Dundee impression in high school… well let’s just say “results may vary.”

  219. mollificent
    November 22nd, 2009 at 3:54 am [Reply]

    P.S. Forgive me…it was “Maybe then we can solve this week’s ‘Slylock Fox’”. Yes, I went back and checked. I am a card-carrying geek. ;)

  220. Mr. O'Malley
    November 22nd, 2009 at 4:37 am [Reply]

    127. commodorejohn. You have to respect a girl who wears an octopus on her head.

    I have to thank you for causing me to recollect the “Albert with an octopus on his head” sequence in “The Pogo Sunday Parade” (1953-54 strips). I just went back and re-read it and it made me laugh out loud once again.

    Continuing my reading, I found Albert preparing for digging his way to China by attempting to learn Chinese by reading the Washington Star Style Manual. Not being acquainted with this long-defunct journal, I’m not sure if there is supposed to be a joke there or not. (Could one update it to learning Korean from the Washington Times Style Manual?)

    Reading Walt Kelly and then looking at today’s comic pages makes me think of the denizens of the Dark Ages, peering out from their dank hovels to gaze upon the ruins of the mighty Roman Empire, telling themselves that once upon a time giants walked the land and created these mighty works.

  221. Mr. O'Malley
    November 22nd, 2009 at 5:13 am [Reply]

    220. One two many “mighty”s. Better “formidable works”.

    I can’t tell whether Prince Valiant is going all Mark Trail on us, or is ripping off some of the superfluous scenes from the last version of King Kong.

    SlyFo: Because Rachel Rabbit was easily able to pick the lock on her neighbor’s door?

    RMMD: Bespectacled sedentary middle-aged writer forces young pierced goateed bald punk to say “Ackkkk”. Good times.

    Popeye: I don’t usually like the Sunday strips much, but this one is nice.

    MW: I believe this is the first time that we have seen that Lawrence’s flim-flamming self-esteem tours have provided him with the wherewithall to purchase an ugly tasteless mock Tudor megamansion in the Santa Royale hills. Meanwhile Dr. Adrian has amputated Scott’s legs. And now Leonard Cohen?

    MT: “The ocean without kelp is like the earth without trees.” … if trees only grew at low elevations close to the seashore, and there supported a unique ecosystem not found anywhere else on land.

    JP: Barretto is hitting his stride now …

  222. Sheila Sternwell
    November 22nd, 2009 at 5:33 am [Reply]

    Mary, Leonard Cohen would like a word with you.

  223. Baka Gaijin
    November 22nd, 2009 at 6:59 am [Reply]

    Sunday’s Mary Worth

    “There’s a crack in everything. That’s how the light gets in.” Yeah, there’s a crack in my butt and, just like this strip, it’s full of poo, too.

  224. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    November 22nd, 2009 at 7:09 am [Reply]

    MW: Do we get the scene on Monday in which Scott wakes up, looks down, and cries, “Where’s the rest of me?”

    What in the hell is going on visually in that last panel anyway? Scott’s legs are gone, and Adrian is contemplating the sweet future that awaits her, as she thinks, “At least I still have my chin,” and in the background, an empty doctor’s coat has been hung up on the wall, just to increase the quality of medical supervision in the room.

    I think that Moy & Giella need to whack themselves over the heads a few times to widen the crack and let a little more light in.

    MT: Is Mark a purely land-based life form, or has he ever appeared underwater in one of his ocean-themed instructional strips? I’d kind of like to see him in an old-fashioned khaki—or hot pink!—scuba suit, pontificating as little bubbles come out of his mouth. Bonus points if Andy gets one, too.

    A3G: Bobbie, that really wasn’t a pun. “Rice pudding and the possibility of sex with me” is exactly what Ari prescribes on a regular basis.

  225. mojo
    November 22nd, 2009 at 8:44 am [Reply]

    Sunday’s MW: “Uh, Adrian? Remember you have, like, uh, a JOB? Taking care of sick people? I know it’s fun to sit here all day and fantasize about your boyfriend, but now that he’s out of danger I feel obligated to remind you that there’s OTHER people in this building, ya know. And while our patient survival stats have somehow miraculously gone UP the past few days, you’re still under contract to wander our halls in your doctor coat. But could you not touch your face so much? We’ve determined that’s what’s spreading the swine flu around here.”

  226. True Fable
    November 22nd, 2009 at 9:08 am [Reply]

    Canadian Zombie, Sunday Eh?dition When I was but a wee tad on a farm out in Nowheresville, my favorite game to play was Mumbledypeg. It involved a finely balanced pocketknife and a bare dirt patch of ground. With one hand, the trick was to flip the knife in a particular fashion from a certain point of your body (the knuckles, wrist, and palm of the other hand, the elbow, the chin, the nose, sliding down the top of the head in a certain way, et cetera) so that the point would stick upright in the ground and not fall flat with the blade exposed. Mama Fable only let me play if someone older played with me, and the knife was sufficiently dull. We never played Mumbleypeg with a sharp knife. We used the same pocketknife used expressly for that purpose because WE didn’t want to get cut, either. My sisters were very good at it, and my brother Domio Fable was great.

    It was a game that was very popular with other Muskogee Nation kids in our area. Nobody thought it especially dangerous because we were taught to respect knives and not to goof around with one. WE WERE TAUGHT. Papa Fable taught us and was adamant that we learn the Specific way to play, safe and challenging at the same time.

    We also played Wahoo, a board game with marbles and dice. We played dominos. We played Peanuts, a particularly fast-moving multiple Solitare game in which everyone has his or her own deck of cards, a pile of 13 cards, a solitaire layout in front of them, and a place in the center to place a stack from Ace up. The first one to get rid of his pile of 13, won. We also played Spoons, a delightfully rough and tumble card game much like Musical Chairs in which ordinary silverware spoons took the place of the one-less-than-the-players chairs. Grabbing for the spoons depended on split-second timing and quick hand-eye coordination. When we got bored with spoons after playing the game for months, we turned to forks. Mama Fable drew the line at knives. She said some cutlery just wasn’t intended for card games. She also said if we were silly enough to play a game like Spoons with forks, it was up to us not to stab ourselves or each other with the tines. Tough love, Mama Fable!

    We sang, and made up parody lyrics if a song grew too irritating to stand any longer. And we read, read constantly, read everything we could get our little hands on. My favorite books were encyclopedias (which is why I love the Internets and especially Wikipedia. Papa Fable would have LOVED the Internets!) We drew, using everything from Big Chief writing tablets to the huge sheets of plain white butcher paper from the meat section of the grocery store. In those days they ground the beef up right there while you waited, wrapped it in waxy paper, and then wrapped that up in huge honking generous amounts of crisp white paper. We smoothed it out and it was ready for Great Art.

    We didn’t have a lot of toys, and we knew if we broke a toy it couldn’t be replaced until our birthday or maybe Christmas, or if Papa worked overtime and we didn’t have a bill that needed paying, instead. Yeah, like that happened very much. Like, rarely. I liked to play World War II and blow up the family car using a string tied to a block of wood. I’d bury the wood block in the dirt driveway in a particular place so when Papa returned from work, I crawled on my stomach out to the string and pulled on it, making the block fly up and harmlessly bounce off the undercarriage. This would be accompanied by the usual Little Boy Sound Effects department and my father’s amused chuckle. I also played Roy Rogers to The Rescue, in which I rode my stick horse all over the farm to fight imaginary bad guys, stop a stampede of farm chickens or save a stuffed toy animal in peril. My adventures were all written in my head and altered as the situation required, and always came to an abrupt halt the minute I heard “Dinner’s on!”

    So in essence: get stuffed, Elly. Maybe if you encouraged him to read and do things without constantly hovering – yeah, and if he didn’t have so many toys in his room and HAD to learn to amuse himself – he would find other things to play than Booger Beasts.

  227. One-eyed Wolfdog
    November 22nd, 2009 at 9:34 am [Reply]

    Sinfest has virtually ruined the Sunday comics for me. I don’t even feel like going and looking at anything else anymore because it’s just a letdown.

    Also: “A octopots has done got Albert!” I just wanted to say that. (I say that probably more frequently than the average person in the street.)

  228. MrGuy
    November 22nd, 2009 at 9:38 am [Reply]

    FBOFW: Isn’t this strip set in the 1970s? As in, “before video games became ubiquitous?”

    FC: The only interesting thing is that one of the children bets Mommy starts crying. Presumably she plans to bare her soul to her parents about how terrible it is having to raise these monstrosities.

  229. willethompson
    November 22nd, 2009 at 9:45 am [Reply]

    MW: Adrian’s sloe-eyed expression is one of knowing. Specifically, knowing that Dr. Good, figuring Scott wasn’t going to make it, tried the transplant he’d heard about from that surgeon in the titty bar Tijuana. I mean, jeez, the horse had just died in the ER, so it wasn’t like they had to wait for a donor.

  230. Ukulele Ike
    November 22nd, 2009 at 9:50 am [Reply]

    One-eyed Wolfdog @ 227: Just do what I do…read all the regular Sunday Funnies first, and save Sinfest for dessert.

    It was gorgeous today, wasn’t it? All it needed was Fuschia as a cheerleader.

  231. One-eyed Wolfdog
    November 22nd, 2009 at 9:50 am [Reply]

    #228 – The Patterson family became unstuck in time.

  232. mr 12 oz can
    November 22nd, 2009 at 9:53 am [Reply]

    it looks like in the last panal of mary worth that adrian has taken off her doctors gear and is wearing her dr seuss whoville pajamas . shes holding her chin because shes about to perform her famous park bench carnival trick again.

  233. The Spectacular Spider-Brick
    November 22nd, 2009 at 10:25 am [Reply]

    Sunday comics!

    9CL: “What’s a ‘buccina robiginosa’?”

    C’haft: Ha, ha, ha! The infirmity and despair of old age is catching up with Jeff and Pam now! Ohhh, the fun. Hey, Batiuk, it’s called “the FUNNIES.”

    Crock: I can’t think of anything funny here, but I just wanted to say that I absolutely, vehemently, unconditionally despise this strip.

    FC: Ha, ha, ha! Thel is a horrible housekeeper and mother!

    Mr. Poopypants: For the love of all that is good and merciful, feed that baby QUICK!

    MW: Adrian’s clearly plotting something. “Now that I’ve established myself as the devoted fiancee, and Mary’s turned her attention elsewhere, I can bump off my heavily-insured hubby-to-be without suspicion, pawn this hideous ring, and head for Rio!”

    Ghost-Who-Apparently-Doesn’t-Mourn-His-Dead-Wife-On-Sundays-In-Favor-Of-Hanging-Out-With-Vaguely-Roman-Amazons: In today’s episode, young Kit wants a raise in his allowance. Wait, he gets an allowance? He lives in a cave in the jungle. What could he possibly do with an allowance? Does Daddy Stripeybutt actually give him money, or does he just give him an extra breadfruit on Fridays? “Now don’t spend it all in one place, son!” “Gee, thanks, Dad… I’ll add it to the rotting heap.” “That’s my boy!” “Cheap bastard.*” (*In the Bandar tongue!)

    RMMD: I nominate panel 5 for Greatest Panel of the Year Award. Attaching it to the end of any number of strips could only improve them.

    6C: I’m envisioning this strip drawn by Brooke McEldowney. The result is far better than either of their strips.

  234. Old School Allie Cat
    November 22nd, 2009 at 11:36 am [Reply]

    MW – Did Mary Worth just quote Leonard Cohen??? Damn, the room is spinning, I need to sit down.

  235. John C Fremont
    November 22nd, 2009 at 12:17 pm [Reply]

    #224 bourbon babe, unbuckled – I was trying to figure out whether that was Adrian’s jacket hanging on the wall or a doctor standing behind her in a jacket with sleeves that are just way too long. Dr. Nikita Khrushchev, maybe. Or a doctor with no hand.

    “Scott cried because he had no legs until he met a surgeon who had no hands.”

    In the Bandar tongue, of course.

    Hey Mark, can I have some of that kelp? And maybe some therapy?

  236. commodorejohn
    November 22nd, 2009 at 12:36 pm [Reply]

    #213 Alfred E. Neuman – Ah, I remember that discussion. And no, I don’t mind at all ;)

    A3G – Wow, she kisses so hard it actually emits light. Maybe she’s not too bad a deal after all.

    BBlue – Augh, this brings back unpleasant memories of the time before my parents learned that sometimes I actually don’t hear things that I acknowledge are said to me.

    BrS – Good God. So Brenda Starr can show everything about a woman being trampled to death by elephants short of the actual trampling, but Zits can’t say “sucks.”

    Crankshaft – Wow. Gripping.

    Crock – I have to hand it to Crock. No other newspaper comic makes me question my own sanity on a regular basis.

    DT – No, really. You can stop explaining n-GAAHHH EVIL SCARY CLOWN

    FW – Hmm. Another cheap hack-up of an existing comic-book cover?

    JP – Oh baby.

    MW – Dear God, why is Adrian sporting such an obviously Mary-like expression? Does this represent her falling completely under Mary’s control? Or does it indicate her beginning to turn into a meddler herself? Poor Scott – I hope you die peacefully, before you have to face life with her…

    PV – “Bad trip?” A giant centipede guarding her nest – I guess that’s not a good trip, but until someone’s face starts melting and the eye of Sauron drops in for a visit, I wouldn’t say it’s really a bad trip.

    RMMD – Holy mother of God. Looks like we may have been wrong about Tim being the Anthony after all. But…lordy, is that ever a disturbingly detailed picture of someone being strangled.

    SFx – Oh man. Is Six Differences a reference to the shark-slaying octopus? I love this strip.

    SM – Oh, narration box. Don’t tease me like that.

    WoI – A brief, chilling glimpse at the real power in the kingdom of Id.

  237. queek
    November 22nd, 2009 at 12:48 pm [Reply]

    I have returned, having fallen into a Jay Naylor hole for the past several days. (further info on Archive Binges can be found in the usual places)

    Sunday thoughts:

    PBS: Pastisian levels of WIN. epic, even. Loved it, laughed out loud at it.

    JP: dialogue? what dialogue. I’m lost in the art.

    Zits: the Queeksgirl got a kick out this one.

    PV: o dear. Prince Valiant, lacking the Wind Scar, will have to kill this demon the hard way.

    A&J: nice tribute. very well done, Mr. Johnson.

    SFx: nice touch, using cacti and a family named Havalinas.

    MT: sea otters! (o, btw, there is a SQUEEE! inducing video of an otter pup on ICHC today. )

    I have to admit that I laughed out loud at the “spider with contact lenses” joke a few days back in Garfield. The Sunday “spider smack”, not so much.

    Oh, and mollificent? You’re still smart, clever, and have the voice of an angel. You can star in whatever play you want if I’m ever the producer. I can’t help the 4′9″ part, but perhaps Niall has a spare pedestal you can use? ;-)

  238. kallista
    November 22nd, 2009 at 12:48 pm [Reply]

    Yeah, so Tim’s a strangler. No surprise. In real life there wouldn’t be so much talking, though there would be a lot of grunting and gasping, and Cue’s face would not be that color in the last panel. Glad to see Tim’s burnt-orange ascot has vanished, though it made a nice sartorial shout-out to his preferred method of killing.

  239. Left of the Pyle
    November 22nd, 2009 at 1:09 pm [Reply]

    Deja Foob (Sunday): Today’s strip literally had me laughing aloud in the airport lounge (which got me some strange looks), but only because I suddently imagined Tracy Morgan (in character as Tracy Jordan) providing the sound effects.

  240. mollificent
    November 22nd, 2009 at 1:23 pm [Reply]

    MW: I gotta admit, a Leonard Cohen quote is pretty hip for Mary Worth. But if she starts singing “Chelsea Hotel” I’m going to flee screaming into the night.

    #236 commodorejohn re: shark v. octopus: Holy @#$!!

    #237 queek: Awwww, thanks! :D

  241. Uncle Lumpy
    November 22nd, 2009 at 1:38 pm [Reply]

    Sunday Prince Valiant:

    The abducted Aleta leaves behind a trail of torn cloth

    “The rescue party measure their steps, to arrive just as Aleta sheds the final shred of her innermost garment!”

  242. Uncle Lumpy
    November 22nd, 2009 at 1:43 pm [Reply]

    Mary Worth: Beautiful Losers.

  243. Bob Weber Jr
    November 22nd, 2009 at 1:51 pm [Reply]

    Thanks, Mollificent! I’ll be downloading!

  244. mollificent
    November 22nd, 2009 at 1:59 pm [Reply]

    #243 Bob: Heh heh…another RiffTrax addict is born. Yesssss!

    (ok, really going to work now…)

  245. Amateur
    November 22nd, 2009 at 2:04 pm [Reply]

    At the risk of being repetitive, “Mary Worth” is quoting Leonard Cohen?? I think the universe just imploded.

  246. Amateur
    November 22nd, 2009 at 2:05 pm [Reply]

    Hey, mollificent, high-five for making a RiffTrax convert! Are you going to the live show in December?

  247. Dr. Weird
    November 22nd, 2009 at 2:28 pm [Reply]

    228 MrGuy –

    FooB started after the first wave of Video Games Will Ruin Our Youth did. The Atari 2600 was released in ‘77 and rapidly became a phenomenon. Perhaps she erased the wires on the controllers to make it look more modern.

  248. Baka Gaijin
    November 22nd, 2009 at 2:41 pm [Reply]

    Mary Worth: You know what would be hysterical? Del’s hysterical pregnancy brought on by meddling!

  249. mr 12 oz can
    November 22nd, 2009 at 2:43 pm [Reply]

    #238 if you think tim is angry now wait to he finds out henry has driven tims car into one of the sand bunkers at the golf course .ACK ACK

  250. bats :[
    November 22nd, 2009 at 4:18 pm [Reply]

    221. Mr. O’Malley re MW: in the previous slog with Delilah, it was determined that they lived in the valley, not in the fashionable foothills. Unless the feel-good guru gig has enabled them to become upwardly mobile, geographically as well as economically….

    223. Baka Gaijin: quit channeling Marvin!

  251. Sequitur
    November 22nd, 2009 at 4:24 pm [Reply]

    Have any of you ever wanted to do your own comic strip?
    Of course you have.
    I have one I call Average Bear (He Ain’t Yogi)
    It would go something like this…

    Panel 1: Average Bear is in the forest looking around. He says, "Boy, I could do with some fruit and berries right now."

    Panel 2: In walks Average Bear's gay sidekick, "Yoo Hoo."

    Panel 3: Average Bear looks at the readers and says, "Well, it looks like we got the 'fruit' part covered."

    You see, it’s a new cartoon with old cartoon flavor. Perfect for the snark in you to come out and beat it repeatedly about the head and shoulders.
    Go ahead. Give it your best shot!
    Maybe someone with artistic ability could actually draw it.

  252. One-eyed Wolfdog
    November 22nd, 2009 at 4:38 pm [Reply]

    Took me a minute it to get it, but the extra joke in the last panel of Deflocked today was a pretty good twist.

  253. Mooncattie
    November 22nd, 2009 at 4:49 pm [Reply]

    #240 mollificent – First she took Delilah…then.she.took.Adriannnnnnnnnnn!

  254. Baka Gaijin
    November 22nd, 2009 at 4:55 pm [Reply]

    #250 bats :[ : Uh oh. That was just free association. I hope it wasn’t Marvin-influenced. Heh heh, I said association!

  255. Les of the Jungle Patrol
    November 22nd, 2009 at 4:55 pm [Reply]

    Sunday’s garfield explores new food territory with Turkat – a cat stuffed inside a turkey. It’s not as good as turducken, however, is more accessible for people on a budget and as a plus, gets rid of extremely smug, annoying house cats. For extra flavour, stuff the cat with lasagna.

  256. bats :[
    November 22nd, 2009 at 4:59 pm [Reply]

    233. S. S.-B.: Oh, geez….obscure! (but it’s rubinginosa…)

  257. Poteet
    November 22nd, 2009 at 5:15 pm [Reply]

    PV — Again, Ig is the one with gravitas. Those court maidens could do worse.

  258. Mars
    November 22nd, 2009 at 5:19 pm [Reply]

    I don’t think today’s FBOFW is a rerun, which makes it all the more embarrassing. If you’re a gamer or anywhere close to having the knowledge of one, this is awful. I haven’t seen such a dated, inaccurate portrayal of vidya-games in quite some time.

  259. Poteet
    November 22nd, 2009 at 5:43 pm [Reply]

    Monday Spoilers

    ReFoob — In which we see Elly being a nicer mother than usual. *jaw drops*

    LUANN — In which we are given dark hints of possible violence between Mrs. DeGroot and Toni. Ooh! Ooh! Yeah, right.

  260. bats :[
    November 22nd, 2009 at 5:53 pm [Reply]

    Yep, Sam might not be moved, but at least he can’t ignore them.

  261. Cyranetta
    November 22nd, 2009 at 6:12 pm [Reply]

    BrS: I’m amazed. Rampaging elephants, particularly those rampaging away from fire, are not usually able to rampage silently, so that they sneak up on the household. One would think that Carina, who seems to be the brightest of the lot, would have noticed, if not the firelight, at least the noise.

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