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Mark Trail, 11/21/09

Bob sure seems to know that the best way to get into Mark’s good graces is to do violence to the faces of the enemies of wildlife. But is he trying a little too hard? I mean, the kicking-two-bad-guys-in-the-face-while-dangling-from-a-tree-limb move … it makes Mark’s right cross seem a little pedestrian, doesn’t it? Maybe that’s why he’s engaging in casual conversation as he gets his fisticuffs on. Of course, orangeshirt and yellowshirt are still standing in panel two, so perhaps Mark is grateful for the opportunity to show that vigilante justice is best dished out by hands, not feet, and specifically by the knuckle part of the hands.

Mary Worth, 11/22/09

Mary’s tiny, pinpoint pupils in panel two, as she slathers platitude upon platitude onto a poor woman who she’s already bent to her will, really demonstrate why Mary does what she does. Meddling for her directly activates the pleasure centers of her brain more powerfully than any narcotic you can name.

Luann, 11/21/09

Ha ha, you can try to de-exoticize yourself all you want, Quill, but Luann will attempt to “share her bounty” with you whether you want her to or not — possibly during Thanksgiving dinner, when her mom is distracted by making sure Brad and Toni are at least six inches apart at all times.

Pluggers, 11/21/09

Pluggers don’t believe in “legal rights” or “due process” or a bunch of namby-pamby crap like that. When pluggers take over, there will be an 11 o’clock curfew, for everyone, with summary execution for those who disobey.