Weekend updates
A cornucopia of comics for your Sunday afternoon and/or Monday return to work! Let’s get one thing out of the way right off: in my rush to cover the burning hatred in the Family Circus on Friday, I neglected to bring this gem from Friday’s Gil Thorp to your attention:
Yeah, that’s what the ladies used to say about me in high school. Except they didn’t use the phrase “lead the league” because I didn’t play any sports. And they didn’t call me “cute” because they didn’t think I was. And they didn’t actually talk about “me” because they were largely unaware of my existence. But other than that.
It should also be noted that Jenny Su apparently leads the league in horrifying noselessness. I think that if I were moving in for a smooch, I’d be distracted by the twin punctures in the smooth flesh of the middle part of her face, where her nose should be.
Still, if she had told me in high school that I led the league in cute, I probably would have gone out with her. It’s a good line.
Now, on to Saturday. Let’s start with the foobs:
For Better Or For Worse, 1/21/06
(Gah, it’s foob images! What about the lawsuits? Well, as near as I can tell, what the For Better Or For Worse folks don’t like is if you “hotlink” to graphics on their server — that is, if you make graphics hosted on their computers appear on your site. Since I’m hosting this myself, it shouldn’t be a problem. We’ll see.)
It seems like everyone loves to hate For Better Or For Worse. I’m not one of the haters, but it does drive me up the wall at times. Mike’s mother in law in particular drives me batty, as she doesn’t seem to have been given a single redeeming characteristic to explain why her daughter puts up with her endless stream of crap. Thus, this week has been sort of torturous, though there was a glimmer of light when it was implied that she might be in the process of slipping into dementia, which might result in some deeply gratifying images of Mrs. Sobinski being dragged off in a straightjacket, raving like a lunatic about people banging on the ceiling downstairs. Saturday’s strip is particularly creepy, though, as it implies that Michael and Deanna’s choice to spawn more Pattersons might have set them on a collision course with madness themselves.
Mark Trail, 1/21/06
You know, if had told me earlier this week that Mark Trail was going to further slander the noble hillbilly, I would have said that it would be impossible to do so, but boy, would I have been wrong. On the bright side, this strip finally delivers the climactic fisticuff-heavy payoff that’s been bafflingly absent from the last few adventures. We start off with what may be the first kick in the ‘nads in the history of the comics. (It should be noted that in the strip before this, our skinny redneck threatened to “mess up that pretty face of yours,” thus proving that his grasp on anatomy is almost as tenuous as his understanding of hand-to-hand combat tactics.) Of course, mega-man Mark manages to dispatch the rural ruffian with a single blow and, in move long on dramatic symbolism and low on common sense, proceeds to carry his limp body over to a pen full of lovingly rendered pigs — while surrounded by heavily armed members of said ruffian’s family. Do they even know how to use those guns? Are they antiques left over from the War of Northern Aggression that won’t actually fire? For God’s sake, you dumb rednecks, shoot him already! A bullet in the shin will both teach this short-tempered naturalist a lesson and get you your dog ransom money faster than all this standing around slack-jawed business, trust me.
Rex Morgan, M.D., 1/21/06
The current Rex Morgan storyline has been so boring and slow moving that I’m not even going to bother to bring you up to speed on it. I’d just like to point out that Rex’s rasta-mon cab driver is frickin’ hilarious. Particularly amusing is his use of the phrase “hang on to your hair.” See, he’s unfamiliar with English idioms because he’s from Jamaica, where they speak … oh, wait.
Meanwhile, the Sunday funnies treated us to not one but two cartoons about dogs going to the bathroom.
Mother Goose and Grimm, 1/22/06
For Better Or For Worse, 1/22/06
The stink lines in the first FBOFW panel are nicely done, as is the look of mingled disgust and shame on Dixie’s face in the next panel. However, it’s Grimm’s precarious situation clinging to the hydrant that really made me laugh aloud. His look of contentment in the next to last panel, followed by his embarrassed admission that he really is going to do what must be done no matter how gross it gets, are real winners.
Bill Peschel
January 22nd, 2006 at 5:14 pm
My first thought was that ‘billy’s boot was placed pretty high for a kick in the dads. Either his knowledge of anatomy really is bad, or perhaps all that inbreeding shifted the cojones a mite tad.
rich
January 22nd, 2006 at 5:16 pm
The joke in today’s FBOW is that Ellie is obviously wrong about “knowing a guilty face when she sees one.” The guilty face is staring right back at her in the last panel. It was April, “acting out” again, who left that mess on the carpet.
Ron
January 22nd, 2006 at 5:40 pm
I still say that’s not a guilty face, but a face afraid of beatings once the foob-camera moves on.
mostholyisdead
January 22nd, 2006 at 5:47 pm
both girls talk about burying and being cute? that so appeals to the neonecropedophelianist, if only one was on fire. then i could add pyro! sorry sorry i’m a recovering hyperpolysyllabic sesquapedalianist…
Lady Goodman
January 22nd, 2006 at 5:51 pm
The rasta is slyly poking fun at Rex’s immovable-it’s-all thanks-to-brycleem-uber-whitey-do. “Hang on to your hai..oh. It’s clearly not going anywhere.”
Beasley
January 22nd, 2006 at 5:52 pm
Reminds me of:
http://www.funny-city.com/cartoons/images/0418.jpg
(pic may not appear, depending on your browser, but is worth linking to)
Marc
January 22nd, 2006 at 5:58 pm
Blech…I’m so glad we didnt get the “throw away panel” in today’s comics for FBOFW. Those stink/piss lines arent the most pleasant thing to see first thing in the morning…But I was graced with this first thing in the morning…..Front page mind you….(Scanned by myself)
http://img64.imageshack.us/img64/84/file00011kt.jpg
Cross-dressing ferrets on the front page always seem to have the most importance.
heynoni
January 22nd, 2006 at 6:25 pm
RASTA CABBIE: Something weird with the scaling here. The more you study this strip, the more you notice how friggin’ BIG the cabbie’s head is compared to his passengers’.
Hank Kimble
January 22nd, 2006 at 6:46 pm
The guy in the backward red hat, panel one RMMD, looks like a really pissed Dale Dribble.
Hysterical Woman
January 22nd, 2006 at 6:56 pm
Mark Trail: Is anybody else thinking of the human-eatting pigs from Hannibal?
Mysterio
January 22nd, 2006 at 7:15 pm
Does the eye-patch guy in “Rex Morgan” remind anyone else of Harvey’s boss in Harvey Birdman: Attorney at Law?
Malcolm
January 22nd, 2006 at 8:18 pm
Pretty tenuous grasp of how Rastas wears a “tam” hat.
They certainly don’t plonk them on top of their dreads like tea cosies.
Also, the guy in the back seems to be talking to the passenger, not the driver, who presumably isn’t a giant but is sitting closer to the “camera”.
If the rasta is the driver, he’s sitting on the right, so where is the cab, London? Sydney?
The driver’s command to “hold onto your hair” isn’t a misuse of english, he’s obviously spotted his passenger’s all-in-one water polo style wig incorporating an obviously false ear.
Natural Medicine (of Humor) Man
January 22nd, 2006 at 8:34 pm
First off, I’m so glad that Gil Thorp beauty didn’t slip by you after all! (She must be a burn victim who underwent facial reconstruction) The Saturday strip has a great follow-up…saying the young lady “moves in on Ted.”
About Mark Trail. We used to live on a farm. This farm had pigs. Pigs, believe it or not, will eat people under the right circumstances. What are the right circumstances? Being unconscious.
So Mark is not just humiliating this hillbilly, he is murdering him the same way H. Lecter did to that guy in the last installment of those “Silence of the Lambs” movies.
Quite a gross and painful way to go, I imagine.
Malcolm
January 22nd, 2006 at 8:38 pm
Actually, the Mother Goose and Grimm strip was pretty damn funny.
Daniel.
January 22nd, 2006 at 9:07 pm
Actually the cabdriver’s warning about the hair is because he is smuggling a big load of plutonium in his trunk and it is not well shielded. He is sitting on the left, but with his face and body turned to the left as well, trying instinctively to minimize his own exposure to the radiation. Meanwhile, notice both Coop and Rex have magic talking foreheads.
Lor
January 22nd, 2006 at 9:08 pm
#5: My mom brushed her teeth with Dad’s Brylcreem one morning. Shiniest teeth you ever saw.
I think Neal Rubin and Frank McLaughlin must be Harry Potter fans. Clearly Jenny Su is the unholy offspring of Cho Chang and Voldemort the Noseless Dark Lord.
Lor
January 22nd, 2006 at 9:10 pm
By the way, Mumblix, congrats on COTW! I loved it, especially because I didn’t catch it in the forums before.
Marc
January 22nd, 2006 at 9:15 pm
I think there is someone in the world who is actually jealous of Michael Jackson’s nose, and she also happens to not get older every year….What a coincidence.
Adouble
January 22nd, 2006 at 9:54 pm
I thought Sunday’s Boondock’s was funny. I know the comic has its faults, but I do enjoy when they create slang terms (I still try to drop “Pillsbury” conversationally).
Re #12 — Tam hats belong to a subset of hats that my roommate labels “Caucasoid Bafflers”, as in “I went to pay the bill, and the cashier asked if she could squeeze my dreds in my caucasoid baffler. I told her ‘no’.”
Mister Abby
January 22nd, 2006 at 10:09 pm
Anybody who’s ever seen Snatch knows how especially disturbing that last panel of Mark Trail really is. Never trust a man who keeps pigs!!!
Jay Nickola
January 22nd, 2006 at 10:09 pm
On first seeing the sound effect “FUMP,” I was a little excited — “So that’s the sound of a dog taking a crap under two feet of snow!” How disappointing to read on and find that it was more like a falling-through-the-crust thing.
Colin 2
January 22nd, 2006 at 10:22 pm
You know what the weirdest part of for better or for worse? That was an exact week after my dog did the very same thing.
jeanne
January 22nd, 2006 at 10:39 pm
“she doesn’t seem to have been given a single redeeming characteristic to explain why her daughter puts up with her endless stream of crap”
I’ll be the first to tell you why. Because she was raised to believe that whatever crap her mother handed out was deserved either because she is ‘the mother’ or Dee is ‘ungrateful’. It’s a game over-bearing mothers love to play with their daughters. There is no getting away from it, and you either put up and suffer or walk out and suffer more.
Jeez, ya’ll think I need to deal with some ‘issues’?
Oh, well, it could just be the three muscle relaxers I just took talking.
Sorry
Chet McCord, Wildlife Defender
January 22nd, 2006 at 10:49 pm
#16: The missus once brushed her teeth with diaper cream. It is designed to stick to wet surfaces, so it was not easy to get rid of. As usual, she found a way to blame me for that.
T.J.
January 22nd, 2006 at 11:23 pm
The first thing I thought when I saw the Patterson’s spawn in FBOFW was “hey, that kid needs to be on his (her?) back.” Haven’t they heard of SIDS. You’ve gotta keep your infants off their tummies these days. Or maybe it’s different in Canada, eh?
Jim C.
January 22nd, 2006 at 11:52 pm
In that Gil Thorp panel, I especially like the man in the crowd, between Lexi and Jenny, frantically trying to get the artist’s attention.
Just looking at him, it’s obvious his hand is on fire.
mooselet
January 23rd, 2006 at 12:56 am
What I want to know is how April’s hair defies gravity by continuing to stand straight up after she’s pinned her ponytail to her head. Gravity does exist up on Mt. Foob as we’re always subjected to stories about Elly’s sagging breasts/ass – see the first panel in the last row for an illustration of this. Besides, no self-respecting girl over the age of 2 wears her hair so it appears a tree has sprouted from her crown.
Unlike Josh, I love to hate FBOFW.
Ubiq
January 23rd, 2006 at 1:12 am
As far as Gil Thorpe goes, the noseless nature of Jenny is a bit disturbing, but not that much more than the fact that they appear to be wearing uniforms from Star Trek with numbers of the front of them. But I must admit, Jenny’s Vulcanesque haircut compliments her Starfleet uniform quite nicely.
As far as Mark Trail goes, I could have sworn that Duke was the unfortunate recipient of a kick to the crotch quite a while ago. Speaking of Duke, where is his kid anyway? Rehab or Asian sweatshop?
Slobberchops
January 23rd, 2006 at 2:59 am
Wait a second. The Foob lawyers are upset if you link to their images (which is ridiculous; it’s how the web works) but won’t care if you COPY the image and host it on your site?
I guess everything’s backwards in Canada. Eh?
Firegoat
January 23rd, 2006 at 4:08 am
Mooselet, I think the April foob hair-do is supposed to be ala Pebbles Flintstone. She just needs a bone tied up there to finish it off. Maybe she can get one from the pig yard after Mark Trail murders that Hillbilly.
jmarkow
January 23rd, 2006 at 7:06 am
T.J.
Once they are over 1 or so, you don’t need to worry so much about SIDS. Also, how do you make a kid over that age stay in one position all night short of tying their wrists to the bars on either side of the crib? My grandson is not quite two and flops around all night long.
As to April’s hair, it looks to me like she has it in a French twist, the way a lot of the ’stars’ wore theirs to the Golden Globes, with that slightly messy looking thing were they allow bits and pieces of hair to stray out.
Marc
January 23rd, 2006 at 8:26 am
I love that smug look on Mary today (I’ma get me sum meddlin’!)…. I also want to know how you can speak without your mouth open…and how you can talk punctuation marks…You see it would have made sense if she was THINKING about “?!?” but hey, she’s not. And Wilbur is wearing lovely electric blue slacks and his quilt coat.
JG
January 23rd, 2006 at 8:51 am
Slobberchops: He means that he can’t “hotlink” or directly put the comic from the foob site onto his page. It’s OK to put a text link up because that doesn’t use the foobiverse’s bandwidth.
dimestore lipstick
January 23rd, 2006 at 9:04 am
Mary Worth interrobang* alert!
As I consistently read that as “WTF?”, I really enjoyed seeing one from the starchy and prim Meddlin’ Mary.
*Well, an approximation of the interrobang, anyway:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Interrobang
Smitty Smedlap
January 23rd, 2006 at 9:11 am
Steelers! That is all.
yellojkt
January 23rd, 2006 at 9:26 am
we need to have a real gambling addiction group weigh in on the complete idiocy of making a guy bet away his gambling addiction. This seems to be the most idiotic treatment ever. But like all good comic soaps, WilCOX will see the error of his ways and sin no more.
payola
January 23rd, 2006 at 9:43 am
Hold on to your hair is clearly meant sarcastically, considering that Rex’s crowning glory makes Jimmy Johnson’s helmet look like Keef Richard with hat head.
As far as the placement of the kick in the nads, and the placement of the hulking inbred country folk:
1. I believe they’re in Aroostook Co. and it’s time to cut Appalachia some slack; and,
2. The kick wasn’t ‘high’, but strategically placed to disable undescended glands. With testicles moved to more temperate climes and a switch from tidy whitees to boxers, it can’t be long before Mark Trail starts producing offspring at a frightening clip, like Mickey and brooms. Next: An Unstoppable Army.
Badly_Computer_Animated_Boy
January 23rd, 2006 at 9:48 am
All very funny but the biggest development this past Sunday HAS to be the reappearance of Travis Bickle Lookalike Guy from panel #3 of the 1/8/06 Phantom!
BigJoe
January 23rd, 2006 at 9:48 am
JP: What happened to April, was she frightened by a ghost? Between Saturday and Sunday her hair went from yellow to pure white. And I’m still a bit freaked out by her hair growing under her eyebrows. Looks painful.
Saturday: http://www.chron.com/apps/comics/showComick.mpl?date=20060121&name=Judge_Parker
Sunday: http://www.chron.com/apps/comics/showComick.mpl?date=20060122&name=Judge_Parker
Sourbelly
January 23rd, 2006 at 9:53 am
Oh, I get it, Josh. You brazenly post FBFW images, and then, hoping to mollify the FBFW legal team, you claim that you’re not a hater of the strip. (As if.)
Maybe that will work. Maybe.
Pozzo
January 23rd, 2006 at 9:58 am
Today (Monday’s) Beetle Bailey. How generic can a punchline get? You can imagine the same dialogue being repeated verbatim in, say, Hi & Lois (Hi to Thirsty or Chip), The Middletons (Mr. Middleton to Grimes or his mother), Garfield (Jon to Garfield), B.C. (despite the fact that the calendar probably hadn’t been invented yet)…the list goes on. In fact, it would fit better in most of these than in “Beetle.” After all, if Sarge had seen Beetle shirking off work since the beginning of the year, wouldn’t he have pounded him into a suitably-humorous pulp by now?
yellojkt
January 23rd, 2006 at 10:02 am
Mark Trail is taking place in RoundHere Parish which is between Yoknapatawpha County and Dogpatch.
TomR
January 23rd, 2006 at 10:32 am
1) Is it me, or did anyone else reads the Gil Thorp as “Butted Pearse Leads the League in Cute”, as if a pearse can be butted?
2a) Anyone consider disabling Mark Trail’s “Right Hand of God”? That’s his only weapon.
2b) Of course kicking Mark in the ‘nads won’t work. He has no nads!
csr
January 23rd, 2006 at 10:50 am
Mary Worth finally makes an appearance after lo, these many weeks, and all she can say is “?!?” Where has she been all this time, a Platitudiners Anonymous 12-step program?
And in Mark Trail, when have rednecks ever been known for fighting fair? Must be the only stereotype we haven’t seen yet. I’m sure those other two would be standing around watching Luke fight Mark one-on-one. At the very least, it’d be a tag-team event.
JonJoe
January 23rd, 2006 at 10:53 am
First off FBOFW is only funny if you have a family and you can relate to them… If you are single person it just plain sucks…
Mark Trails sucks, but I did however enjoy that kick to the Nuts!
Mother Goose and Grimm is funny most of the time. This comic made me laugh aloud so it is by far the best posted this weekend.
Rex sucks…he always has and always will…
MyBrainHurts
January 23rd, 2006 at 11:41 am
It occurs to me that “Mark Trail” is a nom de guerre, a la “Mark Twain.” Naturalist/adventurers of old must have hollered out, “Mark trail!” during their excursions. So what’s his real name? and sorry about all the French words.
Irina
January 23rd, 2006 at 11:46 am
Thanks to Josh’s recent request for additional comics fodder suggestions, I’ve picked up a pair of new regulars — Preteena and Pibgorn.
I spent far too much time on Thursday and Friday perusing the Preteena archives, but Pibgorn’s archives only go back a month or so (along with the first month’s of strips that started the series).
Can someone either (a) send me a link that has a deeper Pibgorn archive, or (b) summarize the current plot? I have all the players down, and understand that *something* happened to create a parallel/juxtaposed universe with a bunch of head/body swapping, but I’m unsure who is paired with whom and why, and what the ramifications of it all are.
Thanks!
Sassy_Rocks
January 23rd, 2006 at 11:57 am
Hogs are practicing carnivores. In the non-LoFo real world, those hogs would devour the lifeless redneck body in a hog wild feeding frenzy. Perhaps Pa doesn’t like Duke, thus letting him learn his lesson while watching passively as Mark Trail dumps his limp body unceremoniously in the pig pen. Pa himself may have been raised by those hogs, which would explain his pig-like appearance and frequent grunting and oinking…
Traveler
January 23rd, 2006 at 12:17 pm
“Not as sorry as you are! (that you came to our own farm (?)”
Did no one else notice how Mark Trail’s comeback made no sense whatsoever? Mark’s punches can make a hillybilly wish that his ancestors had never escaped poverty in Ireland by selling themselves into indentured servitude and working their fingers to the bone. Maybe the hillybilly mentioned that he just settled down in the area a couple of panels earlier? I want answers people!
Sassy_Rocks
January 23rd, 2006 at 12:27 pm
I noticed that and pointed it out in a Saturday post. It is completely nonsenical and utterly illogical unless “here” refers to this point in time in an existential time space warped continuum sort of way. Besides his world famous outdoor magazine writer gig, Mark Trail may moonlight as a zen buddhist and he was enlightening the redneck grasshoppa on the cosmic concept of “here and now”.
Sourbelly
January 23rd, 2006 at 12:46 pm
#49/50:
I took “Not as sorry as you are” to mean something like “You’re a sorry excuse for a human being.” Still not terribly witty.
golfwidow
January 23rd, 2006 at 1:34 pm
Jenny Su looks like the love child of a California Raisin and Velma from Scooby-Doo.
David
January 23rd, 2006 at 1:53 pm
Josh or anybody else – any comments on Wiley’s Non-Sequitor? For the past three b&w days, he’s been at it again, bashing bloggers left and right. It would strike me as using an elephant gun on a ferret (no offense, Josh), except for the fact that Non-Sequitor is just so dang well-drawn.
BigJoe
January 23rd, 2006 at 1:54 pm
#49, 50, 51: We’re spending way too much time dissecting this, but I had no problem with it. I took it to mean, “Not as sorry as you are (that I came here)!”
David
January 23rd, 2006 at 2:11 pm
By the way, the “Blogshub Blog & News Directory” Girl makes the Gitsum Girl look like post-menopausal Elly Patterson (not the young, cute Elly us old-timers remember. . .)
mtfan
January 23rd, 2006 at 2:12 pm
#54 I read the “Not as sorry as you are!” line the same way as BigJoe did. Either that or Mark was talking directly to me again.
BigJoe
January 23rd, 2006 at 2:19 pm
#56 – Bah ha ha. I should have taken it to mean “Not as sorry as you are (for being lured into reading this comic strip by The Comics Curmudgeon)!”
dlauthor
January 23rd, 2006 at 2:55 pm
#53: Wiley’s turning increasingly into a coot. Every now and then, he has a protracted, almost Mallard Fillmorian fit about some new aspect of the culture or technology. This is just one of those cases. It’s a shame, because the strip is, as you say, very well-drawn, and his wit’s pretty sharp when he’s not lashing out at whippersnappers.
How long til Ellie dies?
January 23rd, 2006 at 3:01 pm
See, when Deanna’s mom went down to yell at the neighbors, I figured that by talking to them and actually opening up the lines of communication, they would all come to their senses and become friends. The theme being that talking to people, and seeing things from their point of view, is better than hating from afar – Mike and Deanna learn a valuable lesson! Typically nauseating FBOFW warm fuzzies all around – It could still happen…
Adouble
January 23rd, 2006 at 3:18 pm
Re #42, I wonder if that reference is the world’s first Lil’ Abner/Faulkner mash-up.
yellojkt
January 23rd, 2006 at 3:36 pm
Adouble,
Even if it isn’t the first Capp/Faulkner mash-up, there should be more:
The Sound and The Shmoo
Absalom, Sadie Hawkins Day
Go Down, Mammy
“A Rose For Dasie Mae”
MLH
January 23rd, 2006 at 5:01 pm
The rasta cabby may have been making a sarcastic reference to the fact that Rex’s “hair” is in fact some sort of jet-black polymer skullcap that wouldn’t move in a wind tunnel.
Marc
January 23rd, 2006 at 5:57 pm
Thel, I suggest that Jeffy does get a pet turtle…by the time he takes the turtle around the block, it will be time to take him again…and everyone loves it when Jeffy is in pain(tm)! Plus, no more Jeffy means oneless child roaming around the house mispronouncing things or making observations.
It’s always great to know that in Foobville, the men shave their underarms. It’s also a plus that they spray air sanitizer after they use the facilities.
Hi&Lois…what nymphos. Seriously read just the first panel and you’ll want to read Hagar the Horrible!
FW: Are they hinting at a “poop” joke?
Does anyone think that Wilbur looks oddly out of proporation in panel one? He looks like a read cartoon!
Ah Wiley…just love hinting at the introverted personalities of bloggers, eh?
Lor
January 23rd, 2006 at 6:20 pm
#47: Hail, Irina, fellow Pibfan!
Hang on to your hair:
Drusilla, the succubus with (arguably) a heart of gold, is in love with Geoff, a modern-day mortal musician. (He is the very model of a modern mortal musical.) Pibgorn the Fairy is also in love with Geoff. Pib, Dru, and Geoff were in the midst of giving a recital of some sort (Dru on violin, Geoff on piano) when an ancient gray-haired demon, in love with Anna Gottlieb, a performer from Mozart’s day, mistakes Dru for Anna and somehow messes up the space-time continuum, flinging Pibgorn and Geoff back in time and Mozart and Anna forward in time to switch places.
Now Geoff is trying to write Mozart’s music from memory, so as not to mess up the timeline, all the while knowing if he isn’t switched back soon, he will die Mozart’s early death. Someone is pregnant – I think it’s Anna, marooned in the present day, who’s carrying Mozart’s child and is trapped in Pib’s fairy body. But the child is really supposed to be Constanze’s (Mozart’s wife’s). I don’t get how the baby switched places, but hey, it’s fantasy. Anyway, back in time, Constanze is jealous of Mozart’s (supposed) affair with Anna.
Drusilla is trying to mop it all up.
Make any sense? No? No worries … I think this plot will be wrapped up fairly soon, then you’ll be there for the start of the next tale.
Lor
January 23rd, 2006 at 6:23 pm
I nominate “Hang On To Your Hair” for the next curmudgeonly T-shirt slogan. In fact, I think we should start Josh’s Hair Club for Men (and Follicle-Challenged Women).
Sassy_Rocks
January 23rd, 2006 at 6:38 pm
Is “You Look Troubled” a worthy line for curmudgeon gear? That is the best pre-meddling one liner out there, with copious platitudes sure to follow. Regardless of how you respond to the question, Mary Worth will proceed to meddle and pry into your personal life, gare-own-teed.
Lor
January 23rd, 2006 at 6:55 pm
#26 – Jim, very funny! :)
#25, 31: Beware of Positional Brachycephaly though – it happens when babies are on their backs all the time. The head becomes misshapen.
Come to think of it, that might explain the FC kids.
Lor
January 23rd, 2006 at 7:07 pm
Re the Mary Worth interrobang (love that word!), I always pronounce “?!” Ã la the Jon Stewart noise – what linguists would call a long, low-high voiced uvular trill. (”hu-u-u-u-U-U-U-UH?!”) Ah, those long-ago grad school days!
Lor
January 23rd, 2006 at 7:27 pm
#43: Mark Trail, like the Metatron, is as anatomically impaired as a Ken doll.
#46: Very clever, MyBrainHurts! I like it. Not French words, though – freedom words.
Ces, I laughed at today’s Sally Forth, and then I was sad. You really think those kids today have forgotten the comedy greats of yesteryear? (I speak naturally of the architects of the Manhattan Project.)
Lor cracks an Iron City and shouts with Smitty: GO STEELERS!
There. I finally caught up wit all of youse.
Sheila
January 23rd, 2006 at 7:39 pm
Sheila adds her mite to the GO STEELERS sentiment — GO STEELERS!!!!
Also, isn’t this RMMD plot reminiscent of Guys & Dolls? You know, where the gambler guy makes all his buds bet their immortal souls so’s he can impress his Salvation Army girlfriend? And they all lose so they have to go to church, ha.
Sheila
January 23rd, 2006 at 7:40 pm
P.S. Lor, that synopsis of Pibgorn made my head hurt.
gnome de blog
January 23rd, 2006 at 7:54 pm
Lor – outstanding job on the Pibgorn summary! The rest of us mere mortals no longer have any reason to be confused, and we can sit back and wait for Drusilla’s big demonic climax.
jmarkow
January 23rd, 2006 at 8:20 pm
“Beware of Positional Brachycephaly though”
Yeah, my grandson’s head is somewhat flat in the back from all the ‘back time’. The pediatricians recommend ‘tummy time’ to counteract this effect, but because infants sleep so much, it’s hard to do. Unless it’s really severe, the head will round out later on, for the most part, anyway. Also, they sell special helmets just for this. I kid you not. They run from in the high hundred dollars to the thousands.
Chet McCord, Wildlife Defender
January 23rd, 2006 at 8:27 pm
I got a laugh out of non seq. today, and I would hope most bloggers did, too. If they shouldn’t be able to take a joke, I wonder who should.
AwfulArt
January 23rd, 2006 at 10:44 pm
Regarding Pibgorn # 64 & # 72…. Been reading it from day one & I’m still confused..
Lor
January 23rd, 2006 at 10:51 pm
Thanks, gnome! My head hurts too, Sheila. ;) I missed the part about the two old guys in overalls, but I haven’t been able to figure them out anyway – except I think one of them made an appearance in 9 Chickweed Lane not long ago. I like the idea of 9CL and Pibgorn as crossover universes.
jmarkow, since tummy time is hard to rack up (plus some babies don’t like being on their stomachs all the time when they’re awake), some friends of mine got a block of soft foam with a wedge-shaped trough cut down the middle. They put their baby on his side in the trough, which gave him some support. They alternated sides so his skull wouldn’t get pushed to the left or right too much. Fragile little bones!
Amber and Josh, you paying attention? (if/when the time should come) This is my “A” parenting material here!
Len
January 24th, 2006 at 1:52 am
#76 — Thorax (big old guy in overalls) is a regular in 9 Chickweed Lane — he’s Gran’s longtime gentleman caller, a retired farmer who appears to be extra-terrestrial. Pap (small old guy in overalls) is Thorax’s father. Thorax can travel through time and across other dimensions, and has regular communication with Pibgorn and other denizens of Fairyland, so he’s been a help in straightening out the demonic problems with Mozart.
Mumblix Grumph
January 24th, 2006 at 6:29 am
COTW!!!
Woo hoo! That’s even better than watching the Seahawks go to the Superbowl!
Hot damn! Everything’s coming up Mumblix!
Monkeys Uncle
January 24th, 2006 at 8:30 am
It’s a code one homoerotic subtext alert in todays Judge Parker. Note in panel two he is “salting the carrot” if you know what I mean….
http://www.chron.com/apps/comics/showComick.mpl?date=20060124&name=Judge_Parker
meagan
January 24th, 2006 at 9:07 am
oh, great gods of the comic realm, thank you for today’s rex morgan! all is good and right in my world now.
“SHUT YOUR FACE … OR I’LL SHUT IT FOR YOU!”
i’ve never actually laughed out loud at RMMD before. (and i never will again.)
blueeyes
January 24th, 2006 at 9:08 am
What the heck is the “joke” in today’s Blondie? I read it three times and still don’t get it. (Not that I always do get it…)
Jewish Guy
January 24th, 2006 at 9:15 am
Is that Silent Bob playing cards in panel one of Rex Morgan?
Benicillin
January 24th, 2006 at 9:17 am
I like the look the female passenger gives Rex as he attempts to establish he is the alpha-male, “commanding” the cab driver. It’s as if she’s thinking, “All this time I thought Rex was a bigger-than-life doctor and it turns out he’s a repressed racist smug prick. I have to re-think my life.”
gershwin
January 24th, 2006 at 9:34 am
Re no. 81: It didn’t get done. The shoveling of the walk, that is. Riotously hilarious, I know.
And to think that it’s snowing like that in Clearwater, Florida.
Thelonious_Nick
January 24th, 2006 at 9:34 am
Lor, our pediatrician told us not to use those foam things when our baby had the dreaded Positional Brachycephaly. It’s just one more thing for the baby to suffocate on–you’re not really supposed to have anything in the crib until baby can roll over on his own. At which time, the flat head rounds out naturally as the baby will increasingly turn himself over to sleep on his tummy. Ours is seven months old now and no more sign of a flat head!
And by the way, a baby who can roll over by himself has a dramatically reduced chance of SIDS, so nobody needs to worry about the Foob Kid.
Irina
January 24th, 2006 at 9:57 am
Thanks for the Pibgorn synopsis, Lor! Took me a while to realize that Anna was on Pib’s body — since I’d only seen Pib in b/w from the early strips, I hadn’t known she was green (let alone pregnant!) Threw me a bit.
A couple clarifications, then, to get the strip timeline in place … ?
1. Geoff and Dru are performing a Mozart sonata in the present, with Pib in the audience. Old Lieb shows up, senile, and thinks Dru is Anna. Zaps her, but since Dru is succubus rather than mortal, Dru refracted the energy, and it went out into room, zapping Pib and Geoff.
2. So zapped, Pib and Geoff are thrown back in time and collide with W.A. Mozart and Anna, get body/head shuffled, and the world splits in two.
3. The real Mozart was dying back then, so Geoff, inheriting a sick body, is now dying, where Mozart is now in the present, on Geoff’s (comparatively) healthy body.
4. At some point, Dru and old senile Lieb fight in the present, and Lieb somehow becomes naked and thrown into a volcano?
5. Dru goes back in time to confront young(ish) Lieb, telling him his older self has royally screwed up, and he has to come back forward in time to correct things. They fight.
6. In the present, Old Lieb (in the present) makes his way out of the volcano, finds Mozart chatting with Thorax, and proceeds to beat the snot out of him. Anna, on Pib’s (pregnant?!) body, is nearing delivery.
7. In the past, Dru and Young Lieb visit Pib and the dying Geoff (who’s furiously trying to write Mozart’s Requiem by memory, so it’s not lost to the ages) and tell them she and young Lieb are gonna go forward and try to fix things.
Whew.
Okay, I guess a couple of clarification questions — I’m assuming that there are two Liebs? I came in too late to see the beginning, but that’s what it looks like. Someone’s got a lot of ’splainin to do if it’s not.
Next, you said something about Anna, on Pibs body, is carrying Mozart’s wife’s baby … Have we seen Mozart’s wife?
Len
January 24th, 2006 at 9:59 am
I wrote to Rob Cabrera, creator of the entertaining strip “Silo Roberts.” I asked the origins of Silo’s name, for more details on Silo’s family’s mixed ancestry, and alluded to my own upbringing in the Bronx, where lots of immigrant cuisines and traditions mix. After several days, I received the following E-mail:
Greetings, Len.
I’m very pleased to hear that you’re enjoying Silo Roberts. (I certainly love drawing the strip.) As for where the name “Silo” comes from…..you’ll have to keep reading as that will be the focus of an upcoming storyline–where you’ll also get a glimpse of their ethnic traditions, as well.
Rest assured, Silo didn’t get his name because his mother Dianne wanted him to become a farmer. :) Although it seems everyone that reads the strip has that question about his name.
You mentioned the Bronx…I was born there and I know exactly what you mean about the “Bagel con schmear.” :)
Thanks for reading Silo Roberts,
Rob Cabrera
BigJoe
January 24th, 2006 at 10:59 am
FW – So this dumb little fact makes the guy feel better? Stupid.
http://www.chron.com/apps/comics/showComick.mpl?date=20060124&name=Funky_Winkerbean
BigJoe
January 24th, 2006 at 11:20 am
SM – He’s always so worried about hiding his secret identity!, and yet he’s constantly doing stupid things like this. Gee, nobody will think it’s strange that a guy just shot a web out of his wrist and stopped a taxi in broad daylight. And now his sticky spider-goo is all over the road and the taxi. Nope, nothing suspicious there. The taxi driver won’t give it another thought about how his car suddenly yanked to a stop while he was flying down the street.
I also never realized just how strong Peter is. He can stop a car doing 50mph and hold it back with one arm without even straining. That’s a lot of force he’s stopping. Superman would be proud.
http://www.chron.com/apps/comics/showComick.mpl?date=20060124&name=Spiderman
csr
January 24th, 2006 at 11:38 am
BigJoe (#89): Well, what good are super powers, really, if you can’t use them for mundane tasks like getting a cab? Yes, it’s a great way to hide your secret identity. Spider Man gets my nomination for World’s Stupidest Superhero.
Benicillin
January 24th, 2006 at 12:11 pm
Doesn’t Parker ever f%#king get it?!? That kind of braggadicio is what got Uncle Ben killed! Now he’s in California he just says F–k it?!? Awww, Uncle Ben….(sigh)
Fred P.
January 24th, 2006 at 12:17 pm
Today’s (Tuesday’s) Judge Parker:
In Panel II, Sam is assiduously salting a carrot, oblivious to the fact that not only has the carrot not been placed into the pot, it hasn’t even yet been sliced, thereby exposing his blatant ignorance of even the basics of vegetable cuisine.
Still, I guess the guy’s at least trying to be helpful. You’d never catch Hagar the Horrible helping out around the kitchen
BigJoe
January 24th, 2006 at 12:27 pm
#91: In tomorrow’s strip, Peter Parker is at the supermarket and helps a little old lady get a box off the top shelf by using his web shooter to pull it down.
King Folderol
January 24th, 2006 at 1:51 pm
#79 & #92 – Yes, there is a homoerotic subtext here, but I don’t think that JP is merely going for the cheap joke. Notice the way, in panel three, she simply continues fixing dinner, ignoring what he’s doing to that carrot. I think this is JP’s pro-gay commentary. Someday, it’ll just be accepted, and no one will give a second glance to a man and his carrot, if you get my drift.
Benicillin
January 24th, 2006 at 2:24 pm
#93:
I just love the difference between Spidey in the comic books & movies versus this soap opera version. Somewhere Steve Ditko has a tear in his eye and Stan Lee another dollar in his bank account. I liked your commentary in #89. That’s why I clicked on the link. By the way, where did the passenger sign on the top of the cab go in the last panel? Did Parker rip that off the cab with his webbing? All to impress MJ.
gershwin
January 24th, 2006 at 3:21 pm
Re: 89: Hold on to your web, Mon.
ianx
January 24th, 2006 at 3:38 pm
Hey, Jonny Hart – I understand your dilemma. The mastery of new technology must much harder for old, out of touch, beginning-the-one-way-journey-to-senility-induced-dementia-town “cartoonists” such as yourself than it is for those kids with their Nintendos and cellphones and flash-lights and wrist-watches. And you want to express this fresh and unique observation to your loyal readership.
However, two things have managed to come through the impenetrable fog that has long since come to obliterate your sense of cultural awareness:(1) the once-trusty “VCR clock flashing 12:00″ punchline is pretty much obsolete, what with those kids and their TIVOs and internets and DVDs, and (2) something about something called an “iPod” or something.
I really understand.
But here’s a little hint from someone who can still easily purchase life insurance without having to contact the AARP: If you can’t figure out how to use an iPod, which, in the Big List Of Easy Things To Use, is somewhere between elastic-waisted speatpants and fingerpaint, then you should seriously consider permanent commitment to some sort of convalescent or “rest” home. Before someone gets hurt or wanders off. And by “someone,” I mean you, Jonny.
In the future, the “complexity of the flashing VCR clock” meme shall be replaced by the “complexity of figuring out your Prescription Drug Benefit” meme. Apropos, and topical!
BigJoe
January 24th, 2006 at 4:12 pm
Does Peter Parker ever wear short sleeves? Doesn’t he shoot his webbing out of some little rocket gadgets attached to his wrists? If he’s always wearing them, how does nobody ever see them? Why weren’t they visible when he was running around as Gown-Man?
I don’t recall them being surgically implanted and hidden underneath his skin. Am I wrong?
Inquiring minds want to know!
Sassy_Rocks
January 24th, 2006 at 4:23 pm
Spidey wears long sleeve civi shirts when he’ll be using his web shooters. The shooters are not surgically implanted in his wrists but rather are external devices activated by his fingers that fire off an amazing number of webs given the small size of the web fluid reservoir. I guess the real science is in the web fluid. Peter Parker is an ex-scientist, after all.
It is wrong to flaunt his superpowers by hailing cabs with webs. He needs to be reminded once more of those last words from his gentle Uncle Ben: “With great power comes great responsibility”.
Anne Nonymous
January 24th, 2006 at 4:37 pm
#92 “Sam is assiduously salting a carrot, oblivious to the fact that not only has the carrot not been placed into the pot, it hasn’t even yet been sliced, thereby exposing his blatant ignorance of even the basics of vegetable cuisine.”
Yes, Fred P., I noticed that and I went, “Huh?” Nobody salts a carrot before processing it (peeling, if you’re going to peel it, slicing, dicing, etc.). All the salt falls off, doofus. Perhaps he’s going to eat it. Although, I don’t happen to know anyone who salts raw carrots before eating them. Sam, have your blood pressure checked- too much salt in your diet. And who helps out in the kitchen wearing a suit? At least Abby seems to be wearing an apron. Gaaaaahhhh…..I’m over-thinking this!
Marc
January 24th, 2006 at 4:51 pm
Yes Billy, better save up now…….by the looks of it, you can’t have more than $5.20.
That freak Clem from Rose is Rose…well his locker makes no sense. Penthouse? Last time I checked, mose full length lockers were about 5 feet tall. What is exactly in this Penthouse? “Auntie Rosie’s brownies?” Are these brownies “special?” Is the Penthouse a figure of speech? Nah..he’s too young to look at that stuff. They’re about 7 years old….My elementary school didnt have lockers….but if it did, I’m sure that it would be in proportion to the average child….not abover 6 ft tall.
Only in Hi and Lois could you have perfectly curved snow.
In Marmaduke….since when are bus drivers that put together? My high school bus driver was missing his front teeth, and always wore a winter jacket…even in late June. He didnt wear collared shirts either…My friends told me the most attractive bus driver in the school was at least three hundred lbs and had a gold tooth.
WHY does Mary have to involve such WASPy foods when discussing serious topics?! Stuffed Flounder with buttermilk mashed potatoes? Apple Strudel? Only relation….? Stuffed flounder and Apple pie ou figure it out. In either case…none of them are attractive..quilt coats are a major turn off. No lil’miss meddler is fueled for the next five weeks. I think Wilbur gives better advice than Mary ever did.
and in today’s Grand Avenue we get a lovely image of naked old women right out of the bathtub.
Bill Peschel
January 24th, 2006 at 4:53 pm
It’s not just a raw carrot, it’s an unpeeled raw carrot, fresh from the dirt.
Beasley
January 24th, 2006 at 5:06 pm
Not so sure that Mr. Hillbilly action connected with MT’s peepee. The “swoosh” marks looks to me as though he swung a kick and missed.
Benicillin
January 24th, 2006 at 5:08 pm
#102:
It gives new meaning to the phrase “I’ll toss your salad,” huh.
Schteve
January 24th, 2006 at 5:33 pm
#99:
“With great power comes a cab whenever you want one”.
So let’s see, Spidey has lost his suit because it was in his bag which got switched at the airport. But he has his web shooters on his wrists meaning he went through airport security wearing these things. Clearly “homeland security” is not taken too seriously in the Marvel Universe.
Len
January 24th, 2006 at 5:52 pm
#88 — To astrologers, the period around one’s 29th birthday (or around one’s 58th birthday as well) is when orbiting/transiting Saturn returns to the place it began in one’s birthchart. A “Saturn return” is a period of tests and trials, hardship and difficulty that will shake the individual up and cause all sorts of depressing crises. So cut the poor architect in Winkerbean some slack, okay?
Ubiq
January 24th, 2006 at 7:23 pm
This current Sally Forth storyline would be the perfect, perfect opportunity to work the phrase “shoebox full of dead rats” into the dialogue, especially if Ralph gets his old job back.
Though you have to wonder where Alice would buy such a thing… perhaps from Jeffy after he goes on one of his “little walks”.
leathermessiah
January 24th, 2006 at 7:54 pm
#7: OH GOD! We just got that in my paper, too. WHAT THE DICKENS IS WITH THE PRINCESS FERRETS?! IT IS SO SCARY AND AWFUL!!!
Fred P.
January 24th, 2006 at 7:56 pm
#100 “All the salt falls off, doofus.”
Anne you rule. God! That one sentence is the funniest goddam thing I’ve read in ages.
rich
January 25th, 2006 at 10:51 am
88: I’m glad someone commented on that bad Funky Winkerbean. What a pointless remark: “On Saturn, you’d barely be 2!”…and you’d be dead by 3!
“Thanks, I feel much better now — jackass!”
Xboy
January 28th, 2006 at 8:16 pm
The ‘rasta’ cabbie is a clip-art white guy colored brown, with badly drawn dreads and cap slapped on.
sam
February 13th, 2006 at 9:29 am
No, no, no, people…that kick the the groin completely wipes out Mark Trail. It’s Frank Castle (aka the Punisher) who steps in and knocks out the hillbillie!
balPittee
June 18th, 2009 at 9:58 am
http://games.groups.yahoo.com/group/beasttube/