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I cannot tell a lie: It’s three for President’s Day

Spider-Man, 2/20/06

What the exclamation point Peter Parker is uttering in panel three ought to mean: “Whoa! My wife is making enough money to support both of us and doesn’t want me to work! Now I can dedicate myself to fighting crime full-time without worrying about money — or, better yet, dedicate myself to watching TV and drinking expensive hooch full-time without worrying about money!”

What the exclamation point Peter Parker is uttering in panel three almost certainly is actually supposed to mean: “Oh, no, I’m too macho to handle any woman taking care of me blah blah blah stupid pointless boring wrong-headed crap.”

I know I’ve harped on this before, but seriously, dude: With great power comes great responsibility. And with a rich wife comes zero responsibility. So get with the program!

(I will step back from my Spidey-hating long enough to acknowledge being pleased by panel one: Peter hangs up on his boss so vigorously, the phone glows!)

Apartment 3-G, 2/20/06

Yeah, I realize that the disheveled hair is just comics visual shorthand for Having A Rough Week, presumably meant to ease any illiterate Apartment 3-G fans into the storyline’s events. But wouldn’t it be great if Margo’s normally perfectly primped bun got unwound during some kind of peacock-wrangling episode gone horribly awry? I know that I can only ever see that in my mind, but is it wrong to try to see it in my mind again and again?

Blondie 2/20/06

I don’t really have much specific to say about this. I just wanted to record here for posterity the moment when Blondie went completely insane.

84 responses to “I cannot tell a lie: It’s three for President’s Day”

  1. Joseph J. Finn
    February 20th, 2006 at 11:35 pm [Reply]

    “Justice Guy?” C’mon, Peter; with that mask & puffy shirt, you’ve been ‘golfing’ with Rex Morgan, haven’t you?

  2. sephohnek
    February 20th, 2006 at 11:37 pm [Reply]

    with regards to panel one, i think we can all agree that his spidey-sense radiates from all appendeges in moments of brawnee assertiveness

  3. Kiesha
    February 20th, 2006 at 11:38 pm [Reply]

    That is the best “Blondie” ever. Not only is it topical, which it rarely ever is, but it is also, as you said, completely and totally insane.

  4. J.
    February 20th, 2006 at 11:58 pm [Reply]

    I’d like to second the “best ‘Blondie’ ever” comment. That comic is like a concetrated flashbang grenade of genius.

  5. mooselet
    February 21st, 2006 at 12:09 am [Reply]

    MaryJane is looking right at me and it’s kinda creeping me out. Is she talking to me and asking me to do a Rex Morgan?

  6. alpha
    February 21st, 2006 at 12:10 am [Reply]

    I was worried we’d spend the next three years on pins and needles. But now I know Dagwood will never say anything interesting, and I can just relax while he talks to the dog.

  7. Marc
    February 21st, 2006 at 12:23 am [Reply]

    I’m so glad that Margo is able to keep up with the latest technological fads like the StarTac cell phone.

  8. Power of 1000 Lemons
    February 21st, 2006 at 12:26 am [Reply]

    I’m just shocked that it says “Bush” and not “Coolidge.”

  9. Marc
    February 21st, 2006 at 12:29 am [Reply]

    And in today’s MW, Iris is consuming piss soup.

    What is Janey pointing at? A Rorschach test? Why would a Rorschach test be in the newspaper? Oh yeah, I forgot this is the land of the insane WASPs who buy phones that either have too many or not enough buttons….oh and gaudy yellow lamps.

  10. randomdude
    February 21st, 2006 at 12:46 am [Reply]

    Today’s Luann – Mrs. Horner is a real b#&@%.

  11. Ubiq
    February 21st, 2006 at 1:40 am [Reply]


    Luann should just clock Horner in the head with her cat so she’ll shut up. In fact, every problem in that comic should be solved by hitting someone in the head with Mr. McBrickington.

  12. Marc
    February 21st, 2006 at 2:00 am [Reply]

    Mr. McBrickington will use his compressed clay powers and knock out the old bitty……Hey, maybe there could be a cross over strip with Mary Worth….Boy would I love to see Mary get clocked over the head with a brick…and all the resulting platitudes.

  13. NJP
    February 21st, 2006 at 2:50 am [Reply]

    Holy cow! COTW? I’m not worthy.

    Gil Thorp looks like he’s getting pretty fired up today. Is this the week he resorts to Mark Trail style fisticuffs to solve the Marty Moon problem?

  14. Anonymous
    February 21st, 2006 at 3:36 am [Reply]

    You know what else is insane about this particular “Blondie?” They sit facing away from each other, and only Dawood faces the TV. What did Blondie do so wretched that she is being shunned ala Taliban-style? Draw a cartoon of Mohammed? Run out of his precious lunchmeat? He’s talking “out loud” to his dog instead of his own wife just to rub in how low he thinks of her. And I thought MJ was bad with her snide remark. Peter made an exclamation point to register his shame, while Blondie only managed a floating hairpin. But yeah…surreal Blondie. Let’s hope this is some new ghost cartoonist filling in for awhile.

  15. blueindian
    February 21st, 2006 at 5:44 am [Reply]

    uumm.. the best Blondie ever? maybe.. but I drink to much, so it took like three tries to understand what Dagwood was saying, so it kinda lost the lil humour it had.. anybody else think Petey Parker’s wife looks a lil Psychotic when she says “Lets forget Jameson!!”? i see a death in the future.. and Josh? if i still got 3-G in the KC star.. i would beg for color just to view the Garish fashion choices of these women.. Margo is always in Puke Pink.. and that green is atrocious… keep dreaming of peacocks..

  16. Frank Drackman
    February 21st, 2006 at 6:47 am [Reply]

    I admit I found Blondie amusing for the first time ever..I think Peter Parkers “!” resulted from MJ doing something naughty with her unseen hand. And does Spidy have a radioactive phone in the first panel?

  17. Ianscot
    February 21st, 2006 at 7:04 am [Reply]

    Dagwood’s dialog here is clearly the result of one of those drunken “fill in the dialog” moments when the artist has sketched something but draws a blank for the word balloons. (Let’s see… they’re sitting around… I’ve got this copy of the Post open to the opinion pages… Maybe if we just toss Friedman’s column today into Dag’s voice…)

    The same strip ran in 1988, about AIDS. Blondie’s reaction — I like those little exclamation or surprise lines in this strip — was originally a response to Dagwood’s punchline about condoms. I remember how they moved that one to the editorial page at the time. That’s the real joke; the irony is that this particular strip brings everything full circle, plugging Op page content into the same panels. Masterful!

  18. Leroy
    February 21st, 2006 at 7:49 am [Reply]

    Margot is having a rough week not because of her job, but because she hasn’t gotten any in quite some time. How long has it been since she’s gotten a good jump?

  19. Sheila
    February 21st, 2006 at 7:55 am [Reply]

    Re MW — is Jane Hand pointing at a picture of Wilbur that runs with his column? Is this the prelude to some heavy-duty stalking? Or is she looking at the restaurant listings, to make my earlier prediction come true (that she’ll wind up at the next table at Jade East, and pitch a fit)? Or is it just crappy drawing and inane gestures, as usual?

    Speaking of stalking, campers, WHAT is with Hagar the Horrible today? Is that maitre d’ a member of the vegetable kingdom???

  20. Bassogap
    February 21st, 2006 at 8:26 am [Reply]

    Tuesday’s Mt. Foob came *this* close to having the perfect 4th panel punchline:

    “I’m glad you’ve had time to do me.”

    Would have been only one more letter, Lynn…you should’ve gone for it.

  21. Hank Kimbel
    February 21st, 2006 at 8:31 am [Reply]

    Gil Thorp looks like Troy sneaked up behind him in panel three.

  22. BigJoe
    February 21st, 2006 at 8:45 am [Reply]

    I think Blondie was ghost written by the author of Arlos & Janis. It seems exactly like most of the A&J strips these days, Arlo having conversations with his stupid cat. I hate those, especially since the cat seems to completely understand him.

  23. Doug Puthoff
    February 21st, 2006 at 9:07 am [Reply]

    Is it me, or does “Justice Guy” look like a male stripper?

  24. Endoplasmic Reticulum
    February 21st, 2006 at 9:09 am [Reply]

    Spidey’s Justice Guy looks like someone Rex Morgan’s friend Troy would be interested in.

  25. pengoons
    February 21st, 2006 at 9:22 am [Reply]

    Best Blondie Ever! More comics should be cross bred with Monty Python, seems to me. It ain’t insane, Josh, it’s genius! Or, maybe, shrooms… but definitely not insane.

    And, since my paper doesn’t carry Spiderman, what’s with the poofy pirate looking Justice Guy? Another alterego, since one is never enough?

  26. slobocrock
    February 21st, 2006 at 9:35 am [Reply]

    I dont understand how any Blondie that doesnt involve her being naked can be considered “the best ever”

  27. andrew
    February 21st, 2006 at 9:54 am [Reply]

    Does it bother anyone else that Dagwood is actually doing a rather poor job of summarizing (unless the newspaper article itself doesn’t make sense)? I mean, why would the article have Bush putting together his own budget proposal while saying that he knows this proposal will never pass and will require revisions? I guess the joke could be a somewhat abstract one about how Bush would never agree to revise his own proposal… but really, it’s not like any President would admit that his legislation isn’t going to pass at the time he proposes it. No wonder poor Daisy has such a poor understanding of politics.
    Err, umm, nevermind.

  28. BigJoe
    February 21st, 2006 at 9:56 am [Reply]

    I’m reposting this for you Lions fans who may not have seen it. I posted it last night on the old “Bad Lovin” thread just before these new topics came up, so most people probably didn’t read it.

    Check out yesterday’s GT, specifically the sign in the background in panel 1:

    Someone associated with this strip must have ties to Detroit, as I seem to recall other Michigan/Detroit references in the past.

  29. Ford Dent
    February 21st, 2006 at 10:30 am [Reply]

    My dear sweet Lord.

    Blondie has finally gone batshit insane. I am twice as excited to read it now.

  30. Bigfoot
    February 21st, 2006 at 10:49 am [Reply]

    Did I miss some comments? It seems impossible that no one has mentioned the Mark Trail of 2/18. While Doc is rambling on about preserving Lost Forest, it’s being trampled by a mutant deer!

  31. Marc
    February 21st, 2006 at 10:52 am [Reply]

    I’m positive that Jane Hand is now pointing at a pic of “Wendy.” Is that Polly her secretary? I guess the lil’ Mary in training needed to see it. Perhaps stalking will ensue, Shiela.

    I am also positive that Shiimsa from Foobland is an escapee from Mary Worth….first the cat is gray, now it is orange. Also, in panel one, Shiimsa is sticking her nose in to a box, which is none of her business.

  32. BigJoe
    February 21st, 2006 at 10:58 am [Reply]

    #19 & 31: A picture of “Wendy” won’t lead to stalking of Wilbur, as I’d assume that the picture would be of a woman, and not Wilbur. Or Wilbur in drag. *shudder*

  33. Ferd Berfel
    February 21st, 2006 at 11:32 am [Reply]

    (DT)GT – Egads! Is that a Christopher Walken cameo in panel three today?

    MW – When was the last time anyone had wine in a Chinese restaurant? Does red or white go with a double order of ‘Twice Cooked Three Happiness’?

    RMMD – Dr. McCheesey is coming on to Rex a little too hard now. I like my crypto-homosexual banter coy and flirtatious. This is more like a Rip Taylor guest spot on ‘Will & Grace’.

    FBOW – Oh ferchristssake Dudley Do-Right! Just f*ck her already! It isn’t like she hasn’t seen one before.

    MT – Christopher Walken in (DT)GT and now Daddy Warbucks as a casino owner in this strip. Wow! What’s next? A ginormous Sandy?

    Luann – Oh ferchristssake Brad! Just f*ck her already. It isn’t like she hasn’t seen one before.

  34. King Dogmeat
    February 21st, 2006 at 11:32 am [Reply]

    Dean Young is on the take from the Republicans. Witness panel 1, where Dagwood says “President Bush” without a trace of irony. And then there’s the gibberish in panel 2, which, if taken seriously, would imply that the war in Iraq were actually justified. That the intention of the whole strip was to present the shameless propaganda of panels 1 and 2 is made painfully clear by the incredibly lame “punch line” of panel 3.

  35. mav
    February 21st, 2006 at 11:45 am [Reply]

    10 & 11. Now, wait a second. Luann was absolutely crucified on here for her selfish attitude regarding that cat. Mrs. Horner’s comments are almost word for word what was said on this board. So much so that while maybe Greg was setting this up all along, I wouldn’t be surprised if reading this board hadn’t prompted him to see the error of his ways. And since Mom, Dad, Melonhead and Bernice had all already caved in on the issue, he had to have a minor character be the voice of reason.

  36. Marc
    February 21st, 2006 at 11:58 am [Reply]

    BigJoe- If you remember in the New Years Eve strip of MW, a picture of a random lady, or “Wendy,” was seen smoldering in Jane’s fireplace.

    Wouldn’t it be hilarious if Janey calls up the paper and asks for the name of the woman, who she thinks is Wendy? Janey would then use one of those Intelius or US Search programs to locate the woman, only to find out during a surprise arson attack at the woman’s house that it is not her?


    Maybe the woman lives in one of the other condo buildings at Charterstone, and we see our favorite WASPs, teal curtains, electric blue slacks, and 40 key keyboards go up in flames.

    I can see it now…Mary jumps from the balcony into Wilbur’s hands…but you see, it would take her 6 weeks to contemplate whether to jump or not, and when she finally does jump, it is a week of Mary in mid air.

  37. payola
    February 21st, 2006 at 12:01 pm [Reply]

    Two virtually identical expressions that seem to indicate imminent violent psychotic breaks. Who‘s going to blow first? Satchel
    or Coach Thorp?

    This is a pretty funny Get Fuzzy, but it would have been so much better if the self-important cat screenwriter were drawn with a misshapen, pushed-in face (art outsourced to Bizarro?).

    Anyway, maybe tomorrow, Satchel goes Cujo on his real nemesis Bucky Katt, and Gil Thorp applies Latrelle Sprewell chokehold to the despicable Marty Moon. Both long overdue.

  38. Bitter Scribe
    February 21st, 2006 at 12:05 pm [Reply]

    #35 is right. Mrs. Whatsis is just saying what we’ve all been thinking. (Of course, Luann will forget all about it in about two nanoseconds.)

    As for Blondie, I have fond hopes it might end up in Ernie Bushmiller territory–so utterly, abysmally unfunny that it becomes a form of Dadaism.

  39. Hysterical Woman
    February 21st, 2006 at 12:09 pm [Reply]

    Ahh, the “Justice Guy” plotline. Apparently in LA, reporters think that guys in half-mask are news worthy. Really, a half-mask in LA? Totally freaky man! Did LA turn into a sleepy conservative town all of a sudden?

  40. MotoMike
    February 21st, 2006 at 12:13 pm [Reply]

    mav (35) re: 10 and 11 (wow, we’re getting potentially tangly here) My sentiments exactly. Luann is exactly like a certain teenage girl I happen to have the good fortune to be the father of in that the opinions of her family members are irrelevant, but someone from outside the family can, if (he or) she makes sense, be very persuasive. Mrs. Horner gets points for giving Luann the straight story on this -

    notwithstanding that her cupboard is bare and she knows from experience that cats can be good eatin’. Next time Luann shows up, what are the chances they both set down to some homemade “chicken stew”, if you know what I mean and I think you do. (“Mrs. Horner, whatever happened to Sassy?” … “Oh, my dear, she’s up on the roof …” – remember that joke?)

  41. Grandpas Dead
    February 21st, 2006 at 12:16 pm [Reply]

    Something that’s bugged me for a long time is evident in the Blondie strip above: Blondie and Dagwood’s living room furniture arrangement.

    I’m not interior decorator, but it’s always struck me as odd that Blondie sits with her back to Dag. She can’t even see the TV from that angle, for Pete’s sake.

    Has anyone ever seen a house with the chairs running perpendicular to each other?

  42. payola
    February 21st, 2006 at 12:31 pm [Reply]

    Grandpas Dead: Where’s the couch? Does it fold out of the wall when Dagwood naps?

    Bitter: Dada plot, sure, in both cases, but with hyper-realistic big hair, large bosoms and tight skirts, and no discernible man in the house. Well, half a man if you count Dagwood.

    Come to think of it, these strips share prebuscent midgets with dumbass names ending in -o that lust after the unattainable Barbie figures, so maybe this is distilled post-modernism.

  43. Musicfan
    February 21st, 2006 at 12:36 pm [Reply]

    Completely off the Blondie thread going on, but I need to vent… I loved Bloom County. Definitely one of the best comic strips ever. Outland was decent enough and I thought it definitely had its moments. The new Opus is beautifully drawn and a pleasure to look at, but hasn’t been as entertaining. I’m hoping it just hasn’t hit its stride yet.

    HOWEVER, what is really bugging me is that there has been a few re-hashes of old Bloom County strips, and this Sunday was the last straw. Opus as a garbage collector reading a love note with the wrong name to the woman of the house was done years ago. It was also done in fewer panels (it was a daily comic) and was actually funnier then. Enough! If you can’t come up with new material, let it go. If you just want to re-engineer the old strips with new art, put it in a book, but don’t take up valuable comic space re-hashing old jokes.

  44. payola
    February 21st, 2006 at 12:38 pm [Reply]

    Speaking of post-modern pop culture references, appears Aunt Fritzi‘s a little bit country, a little bit rock ‘n’ roll. Or the cartoonist is just drawing attention her assets. Nice rodeo belt buckle.

  45. Sheila
    February 21st, 2006 at 12:57 pm [Reply]

    I always assumed Blondie just wasn’t a TV watcher — that she’s reading or sewing or something over there. Maybe she just can’t stand looking at Dagwood’s awful haircut?

  46. payola
    February 21st, 2006 at 1:13 pm [Reply]

    Sally Forth, Glaring Anachronism Department: Isn’t Ted Forth’s job search the product of turning-forty insecurity? Why would he know any more about the two Darrins than the 26 year old interviewer? Last year of Bewitched was 1972. Guess Ted’s spent more time smoking pot and watching syndicated TV than the Young Republican.

  47. Sheila
    February 21st, 2006 at 1:21 pm [Reply]

    I so did not get Sally Forth today. What the heck does “Case in point” mean, in that context???

  48. Concerned Citizen
    February 21st, 2006 at 1:35 pm [Reply]

    Geez I’m old. In the good old days of Blondie when Dithers was free to heap physical abuse on Dagwood and Blondie had all day to buy dead bird hats at Tudbury’s, Daisy was in almost every Bumstead manse panel. Her face mimicked Dagwood’s and when he napped, she napped. It’s nice to know that the symbiosis is still intact, although now it’s an exchange between peers on the weightier topics of the day.

  49. Lyman Returns
    February 21st, 2006 at 1:39 pm [Reply]


    I totally agree. I did a double-take upon reading that strip. I couldn’t believe that Berke Breathed could be so desperate for material that he’s mining gags from 1985. I loved Bloom County back in the day. I love pulling out the collected editions and reading them. But come on…Gary Larson and Bill Watterson have gotten out of the cartooning business and stayed out because they knew they would run out of ideas, and didn’t want their strips to turn into tired, stale, endless rehashes like ‘Hagar the Horrible’, ‘Blondie’, and ‘Wizard of Id’. ‘Bloom County’ and all its characters should just be put to rest if nothing original can be done with them.

    Do you think that he does this to see if we’re paying attention?

  50. Jason Boog
    February 21st, 2006 at 1:46 pm [Reply]

    “What high-powered hottie has skipped out on her black sheep billionaire boyfriend?

    That’s why Apt. 3 always frustrates me. That Page Six notice had nothing to do with Nina and Scott.

    It’s about my mom!

  51. mtfan
    February 21st, 2006 at 1:48 pm [Reply]

    One of the things I’ve always enjoyed about Blondie was Daisy. Watching her watch and react to what is going on is always fun. I think Dagwood’s explicit comment on it is great. However, reading to her does seem like something out of Peanuts with Snoopy.

  52. loudfan
    February 21st, 2006 at 1:52 pm [Reply]

    46: “Bewitched” was in endless reruns during the 70s. I was a kid back then and I used to spend hours in front of the mirror trying to make my nose wiggle. A guy Ted’s age would definitely know about the two Darrins.

  53. Sassy_Rocks
    February 21st, 2006 at 2:32 pm [Reply]

    Based on workaholic’s ex pointing at a newspaper, it is not clear weather or not she is over her bitter acrimony for the bad advice or if she’s pointing at the Dear Wendy column and telling her nosy secretary to track down the author so she can mess him up. I’m really hoping it’s the latter.

    What’s wrong with a little road through LoFo to the casino? Doc could use the new lab for repairing injured wingbones and other mad science. The troll in panel 3 is supposed to be Doc? Maybe he just looks really weird in profile.

  54. yellojkt
    February 21st, 2006 at 2:44 pm [Reply]

    I agree with loudfan. I’ve seen hundreds of hours of Bewitched, Gilligans Island, Petticoat Junction, Munsters, all of which were canceled before I was a gleam in my daddy’s eye.

    Ces is really putting in a subliminal plug for the new Drink At Work feature Sitcom Theme Music. Check it out.

    And I agree with Ted. If you can’t sit around making snarky pop culture references with your boss, what’s the sense in working?

  55. philip
    February 21st, 2006 at 2:57 pm [Reply]

    So why is that Lee/Lieber epic still called “Spider-Man”? If my recent, albeit spotty, memory serves, we’ve had “Hospital Gown Man” followed by “Suicidal Fake Spider-Man”, then “Justice Guy” (Stan Lee has officially run out of ideas) and now it’s “Mr. About-To-Be-Emasculated.”

  56. Sassy_Rocks
    February 21st, 2006 at 3:34 pm [Reply]

    BigJoe, are you really a Detroit Lions fan? I’m a Vikings fan myself. I’m hoping the Lions do not restore the roar next season. Keep Joey “Blue Sky” Harrington and Matt “Mouth” Millen. The Vikings need those 2 division w’s for our superbowl run next season.

  57. t-mongo
    February 21st, 2006 at 4:04 pm [Reply]

    Wow, when Blondie goes political, you know the country has gotten real nervous about the goons in washington.

    Think about it, even Daisy is worried.

  58. Dennis Jimenez
    February 21st, 2006 at 4:22 pm [Reply]

    Here’s a test of your Bewitched trivia knowledge – between Dick Sargent and Dick York, which Darren was gay in real life? Keep in mind this could be a trick question.

  59. Sassy_Rocks
    February 21st, 2006 at 4:47 pm [Reply]

    Dick Sargent was the gay Dick, not that there’s anything wrong with that.

  60. King Folderol
    February 21st, 2006 at 5:15 pm [Reply]

    Justice Guy? I know this Spidey storyline has been dragging on for weeks, so I should have mentioned this before, but couldn’t Peter have come up with a better name for this dopey character?

    I think Dagwood’s a dyed-in-the-wool Republican who’s making up pretend stories and reading them to the dog to make himself feel better, since we all know that “budget” and “Iraq” have never been uttered by W in the same paragraph, let alone sentence. Fear not, Josh, Dagwood went right back to being an asshat (thanks Kristen!) today.

    MW – You’d think that the lesson Wilbur would have learned from all of this is that advice columnists really shouldn’t be considered a lynchpin of a person’s decision making abilities. But no. Instead, he still feels responsible for Jane ending her marriage, which by her own admission wasn’t so hot. I disagree with Mary Worthless. We need to hold advice columnists to a lower standard, right down there with inane infomercials. If I’m dumb enough to buy a get rich quick scheme because of some commercial I saw at 1:30 in the morning and blow $100 and it doesn’t work, I kind of deserve to get shafted.

  61. Schteve
    February 21st, 2006 at 5:52 pm [Reply]

    MW 20 & 21 Feb

    Their celebration of Wilbur’s exoneration obviously included a round of musical chairs.

  62. randomdude
    February 21st, 2006 at 6:46 pm [Reply]

    I’m not saying Mrs. Horner is wrong for giving Luann a verbal b****-slap, I’m just saying it’s funny for it to be coming from an old woman. It’s like something I would expect Dirk to say.

  63. randomdude
    February 21st, 2006 at 6:47 pm [Reply]

    Oh, and I enjoyed the actual b****-slap in Get Fuzzy. I like this Quentin Tabbytino character.

  64. gradioc
    February 21st, 2006 at 7:09 pm [Reply]

    Bloom County will be missed forever by many of us. As for Breathed, NEVER forgive , NEVER forget. I miss Milo.

  65. Fred P.
    February 21st, 2006 at 8:24 pm [Reply]

    Wilbur, the hard-rockin’ loono-tastic crazyman that he is, evidently toasts his triumphs with a hearty glass of water. Or maybe its exceptionally pale 7-up. Whatever, Wil-dude, you ROCK!

    And I got twenty bucks here for the first of you folks to BLAST. THE. FRICKEN. BEJESUS. out of whoever is responsible for the loathsome vileness that is Mallard Fillmore. No joke. That dude needs to die.

  66. dlauthor
    February 21st, 2006 at 9:39 pm [Reply]

    66: The byline on Mallard Fillmore is one “Bruce Tinsley,” but experts believe this to be a lie. “Tinsley” is merely the guise of a being from beyond the veil of space, named Yargothath, or the Black Drake of the Void. The character of Mallard himself is a representation of Yargothath, with a hat and coat added to make him seem more friendly to mere mortals (this notion having developed after receiving spacebound broadcasts of Sesame Street, wherein Kermit dons his “newsman” getup). It is believed that when Mallard does one of his break-the-fourth-wall “liberals-sure-is-kooky” stares , it is an actually an attempt by the Black Drake to slake his infinite soul-thirst upon the reader.

    Various attempts have been made to eradicate Yargothath, under the guise of space missions aimed at the tails of comets. These have all ended in failure. It may well be that the Drake is one of Lovecraft’s Old Gods, in which case, in the words of one prominent scholar, “we’re all pretty much boned.”

  67. Molassey
    February 21st, 2006 at 10:43 pm [Reply]

    Is it just me, or does Mary Jane look frighteningly cross-eyed in the first panel of Spiderman? Maybe she’s transfixed by the glowing nuclear phone.

  68. Dan Perducci
    February 21st, 2006 at 10:46 pm [Reply]

    Mrs. Horner’s on tonight’s episode of ‘Old People Say the Damndest Things.’

    Mrs. Horner – “I’m calling you out, beeyotch!!! Give a damn about somebody other than yourself for a change and give me the cat!”

    Luann – “I see the error in my ways, old lady whom I visit only during lags in the storyine.”

    Mrs. Horner – “Don’t make me cut you! Just give me the cat and next week, I’ll even take Dirk off of Brad and Toni’s hands.”

    Luann – “Mrs. Horner, but you’re at least in your 70s”

    Mrs. Horner – “Somebody’s got to be getting som nookie in this God-forsaken strip; it might as well be me. I just need to brush the cobwebs off this…”

    Luann – [Gag] “I think I just threw up in my mouth. Here’s the cat. Just don’t go there again for the love of God and all that is holy.”

    Mrs. Horner – “I knew that you would see things my way!”

  69. musicfanatic76
    February 21st, 2006 at 10:47 pm [Reply]

    #44… thank you for calling attention to Nancy, and specifically Aunt Fritzi. I haven’t seen that strip in years and I didn’t realize that Aunt Fritizi had been replaced by Jessica Rabbit. Glad to see that she made the transition to the printed page well.

  70. Mibbitmaker
    February 22nd, 2006 at 12:06 am [Reply]

    One poster had the Blondie strip as some right-wing propaganda, another speaking for the left wing. That strip is actually better than that: a non-commentary commentary strip! Neither ideology’s wacky extremes, almost an apolitical Zippy!

    Who needs the tired ideological talking points of Mallard, or the insane anger of Boondocks, or the leftist allegorical prattlings of Non Sequitur, or the Lucy-and-Danae rip-off for the conservative dogma-inclined of Prickly City, or the great-when-it-was-the-’70s-and/or-Duke-strips of Doonesbury — when ya got Blondie??

    “Are we having politics, yet?” – Dagwood.

  71. Len
    February 22nd, 2006 at 12:12 am [Reply]

    Reverend Dunne is predicting the weather in Dr. Morgan’s hospital. It’s raining men, apparently. (What the bleep is the Rev wearing on his eyes?)

  72. Mary Brandt
    February 22nd, 2006 at 12:15 am [Reply]

    I like how they visualised the sound coming out of Peter’s mouth in panel three, like it’s echoing. Try to imagine first what “!” would sound like when pronounced. Then, try to imagine it…echoing.



  73. Mibbitmaker
    February 22nd, 2006 at 12:17 am [Reply]

    2/21 (DT)GT: Coach Thorp is actually doing a Kirk Douglas immitation, to the confusion of everyone.

    3G: Looks like Margo’s conscience is coming back again. Blink and you’ll miss it!

  74. Mary Brandt
    February 22nd, 2006 at 12:20 am [Reply]

    Oh, and also, on today’s Luann (it’s 12:18 AM here), I think it’s time…for the cat to leeeaaaaaaave.

    Yes. It’s true. You were all waiting for it. Are you happy now? I’m sure that it will go to Mrs. Horner, but we all know that in an alternate universe, nay, the Comics Curmudgeon Universe, this cat would be put to sleep.

    You all know it’s true. You wish to see the brick die.

    …For shame.


  75. kippetje2000
    February 22nd, 2006 at 12:49 am [Reply]

    Hey Josh, did you hear that? Mav (35) and Bitter Scribe(38) have said that Greg Evans has fallen under your spell. Wow, what would you do if you could maipulate the Luann strip any way you wish? You’ve become a god in the comics world. Spare them your lightning bolt but make them squirm to do your bidding.

  76. randomdude
    February 22nd, 2006 at 1:34 am [Reply]

    I feel so wrong for saying this but… Luann is… starting to fill out…

  77. BigJoe
    February 22nd, 2006 at 8:50 am [Reply]

    68: Justice Guy? I know this Spidey storyline has been dragging on for weeks, so I should have mentioned this before, but couldn’t Peter have come up with a better name for this dopey character?

    Actually, Peter did not name his alter-alter-ego. One of the bad guys he captured said “who are you? and Peter replied “just some guy.” Then the other bad guy said “what did he say?”, and his parter replied, “I think he said Justice Guy.” And that’s what they told the cops.

    Actually a bit clever, especially for this strip. Usually things are much lamer.

  78. Badly_Computer_Animated_Boy
    February 22nd, 2006 at 9:13 am [Reply]

    “Between the live peacocks and the hysterical dressmaker, my life is a wedding planner’s nightmare” = instant t-shirt

  79. MotoMike
    February 22nd, 2006 at 4:06 pm [Reply]

    #66: (dlauthor): “…in the words of one prominent scholar, ‘we’re all pretty much boned.’”
    Good catch on Mallard being the “Black Drake of the Void.” Maybe that explains my deep unease when I read that part of the newspaper (I deliberately avoid calling it a “comic” or characterizing it as much more than random ink-formed shapes on newsprint) …. I just gotta agree with Fred (65) about its “loathsome vileness”, but it draws the eye … cannot … cannot … look awayyyyyy! Eahhhhhh ….

  80. Braniff
    February 24th, 2006 at 10:21 am [Reply]

    My mom, dad and I watched Bewitched during the 1960s and 1970s–at the same time I discovered Blondie in the newspaper. I couldn’t help but wonder if Darrin (the first one) was based on Dagwood in Blondie. Also Darrin’s boss seemed to be based on Mr. Dithers. If I’m not mistaken, Darrin’s mother in law even called him Dagwood (Perhaps she enjoyed reading the Blondie comic strip!)

  81. Braniff
    February 24th, 2006 at 10:21 am [Reply]

    My mom, dad and I watched Bewitched during the 1960s and 1970s–at the same time I discovered Blondie in the newspaper. I couldn’t help but wonder if Darrin (the first one) was based on Dagwood in Blondie. Also Darrin’s boss seemed to be based on Mr. Dithers. If I’m not mistaken, Darrin’s mother in law even called him Dagwood (Perhaps she enjoyed reading the Blondie comic strip!)

  82. Sarah
    February 24th, 2006 at 11:58 am [Reply]

    So, what’s with the get-up in the second panel?

  83. DocForbin
    March 5th, 2006 at 10:46 pm [Reply]

    Ever since Luann befriended Mrs. Horner, that old coot’s ruined her life with her campaign to make Luann more selfless.

    How, you may ask?

    She essentially knocked Luann out of the running to win Aaron Hill away from Tiffany before he moved to Hawaii, and she pushed her to hook up with Gunther instead, which has resulted in those two locked in a bottom-feeder battle over the school’s resident nerd.

    Doesn’t Luann have ANY right to be happy and do what SHE wants instead of what her friends, her parents, her teachers, etc. want her to do because they think they know what’s best for her? She should dump Delta, Bernice and Mrs. Horner as her friends because they’ve done nothing but retard her efforts to win Aaron Hill. Frankly, it seems Aaron Hill only likes girls who are selfish and immature like Tiffany is, and if Luann wants to win him, she’s going to have to be more like her than she is.

    Please, Luann, fulfill your destiny and run away to Hawaii so you can be reunited with Aaron Hill before it’s too late!


  84. rocketboy
    May 29th, 2006 at 1:05 pm [Reply]

    Yes, it is the best Blondie ever AND: I could be wrong here, but I think it could also be a reference to Resident Butch’s apparent difficulty with reading.

    Wouldn’t that make it really the best of all possible Blondies?

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