The Comics Curmudgeon

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Friday quickies

Apartment 3-G, 3/12/10

Well, it’s been ten whole weeks — which is what, 48 hours of strip time? 72? — since Margo cleansed away the memory of her dead fiance in holy fire. Now it is time for her to find a new mate! This may bruise your bourgeois sense of sentimentality, but Margo has needs — needs for balding, slightly jowly dudes who are well-connected in the art world. Oh, there will be pleasure, Jack, at least for someone.

Spider-Man, 3/12/10

Ha ha, the only way Peter Parker could be a worse negotiator would be if his eyes popped out of his head and made an AH-WOO-GA noise. I look forward to the next two to four weeks of edge-of-your-seat action, in which our hero tries to cash this check without paying excessive fees, despite the fact that he doesn’t have a local bank account.

Mark Trail, 3/12/10

“That Senator Wallace, he’s a real politician! Remember that time when he campaigned for office, got elected, and then served in the Senate? Man, that’s just the sort of thing a politician would do!”

Marmaduke, 3/12/10

Marmaduke will of course serve as his own defense attorney, at the Hague.

This entry was posted on Friday, March 12, 2010 at 02:21 pm and is filed under Apartment 3-G, Mark Trail, Marmaduke, Spider-Man. |

343 responses to “Friday quickies”

Patrick
March 12th, 2010 at 2:33 pm [Reply]

The check is, of course, rubber, since Peter and the handsome newspaper editor are standing at a mid-abomen-height flat surface with the world’s smallest replica of a flatscreen monitor on it. I’m loathe to call it a “desk,” since if that were the case, there would be at least one chair positioned where the computer screen is facing. They’re probably negotiating at an IKEA, writing fake checks on a piece of furniture called “FuurGooRii.”
Black Drazon
March 12th, 2010 at 2:34 pm [Reply]

Every time Mark opens his mouth about politics I can’t help but notice that the perspective is so terrible in the strip that there must have been a missing second and third panel in which Go-Lar, Tyrant Lord of All Tortoises ate the entire cast in one bite, only to be punched open from the inside by a half-dozed yet perfectly clean man still rambling about senators. And that’s just not fair.
Jackuul
March 12th, 2010 at 2:37 pm [Reply]

Marmaduke: Is that a look of shame? Or am I sensing an eye roll here – surly this dog has no shame about eating a class full of children, that his two blissfully unaware accomplices led him to.
Poteet
March 12th, 2010 at 2:41 pm [Reply]

Please pardon, but now that yesterthread is dead, I need to add my bit to the outdoor-burning discussion on this thread. Rural Iowa still features odiferous and should-be-illegal trash burning in barrels, and several years ago, my neighbors did a barrel-burn on a windy spring day and caught the adjacent cornfield (stubble) on fire. It was an interesting sight, but it was hard to be objective as I saw the fire getting bigger and heading my way. Back then I only had packpack water equipment which wouldn’t have helped much, and I wasn’t sure what my hoses could do if the fire jumped the creek and reached my house. Fortunately, another neighbor brought a tractor and was able to till the stubble to create a firebreak. Many other Iowa wildfires have been caused by the combination of burn barrels and lack of thinking. Wind, fire, fuel, duhh. Thanks for your patience, rant over.
Ned Ryerson
March 12th, 2010 at 2:42 pm [Reply]

C’Shaft: Pharmacist waiting on the Shaft (aka Lottery Winner): Why, yes I am hitting on you. My years as a retail pharmicist have instilled in me a feral sexual craving for cranky-assed dementia cases such as yourself. I’d love nothing more than for you to shed that rancid windbreaker and sweat-stiffened cap and come back here fuck me stupid in the vault where the class II narcotics are stored. Take this pill and come back in about an hour.
SquirrelGM
March 12th, 2010 at 2:42 pm [Reply]

What’s more pathetic: that the editor seems almost aggressively proud about paying Peter Parker more than the value of the film he’d used to take the front page photo, or that it’s undoubtedly more money than Parker’s ever been paid in his 50-odd-year career shooting photos for the Bugle.

Never mind, it’s Spider-Man. If we got into a discussion about what’s most pathetic, we’d never get anything done at all.
bourbon babe, unbuckled
March 12th, 2010 at 2:42 pm [Reply]

Oops–genuine post-jump! (Sorry!)

@queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#y106): True story: A few years ago, I was looking out at my back deck, and two squirrels wandered out and began doing the squirrel-nasty (and if you’re wondering, it’s very, very fast).

So they finished and just stood there for a moment, and then the boy squirrel began to move up behind the girl squirrel, I guess to have another go at it—and she whirled around and bitch-slapped him!
Taquelli
March 12th, 2010 at 2:43 pm [Reply]

Oh man, the Parker Brothers again. I was under the assumption that they had been thoroughly punched, and therefore no longer a problem, but looking back, it appears that Mark never let his arm cannons loose. In fact, the Parker Brothers were able to chain them! That’s why he’s bringing back-up in the form of sex addiction Ranger Buzz, in an effort to distract them by having Buzz hit on whatever 20-something blond lady they happen to have at their camp.
Dingo, the Essence of Purity and Virtue Incarnate™
March 12th, 2010 at 2:43 pm [Reply]

@Ned Ryerson (#5): Ned, I’d rent that video. Probably star Ed Asner and Glenn Close.
Poteet
March 12th, 2010 at 2:45 pm [Reply]

The cat in my lap had to leave abruptly when I reached “AH-WOO-GA.” Thanks for the good laugh.
bats :[
March 12th, 2010 at 2:46 pm [Reply]

@Sparky AKA Able Bodied Seaman Craggy Fjord (#103Y): thanks for the shout-out and article on Eduardo. Good stuff! Good guy!

Politics makes my eyes glaze over. Cheap, prurient sex, not so much…
Athena
March 12th, 2010 at 2:46 pm [Reply]

Peter Parker’s eyes are bulging out of his head not because of the sum but because he received a check on the spot, rather than having to bill the company, wait 30 days, bill again, wait another 30 days, bill again, threaten to sue, and then receive a letter telling him that the company has filed for bankruptcy but in a few years’ time he should be receiving 10 cents on the dollar for what he’s owed.

Boy, I’m glad I’m not a full-time freelancer…
Naked Bunny with a Whip
March 12th, 2010 at 2:49 pm [Reply]

A piece of helpful advice to Marmaduke: When in court, wear pants. They’re really weird about that, trust me.
Poteet
March 12th, 2010 at 2:50 pm [Reply]

Wow, this thread has several COTW contenders already. TGIF.
Mr. Paul Maul
March 12th, 2010 at 2:51 pm [Reply]

I would like to see the word “pontoon” turn up in Apartment 3-G. It would be a great double-entendre.
LaziestManOnMars
March 12th, 2010 at 2:52 pm [Reply]

The kids in “Marmaduke” don’t look like they come from the same universe as shittilly-drawn Hitler and wife. They look kinda like the “love is” kids.

“You know what would help you guys out? A comic called “love is.” It’s about two naked 5 year olds that are married.”
Uncle Lumpy
March 12th, 2010 at 2:56 pm [Reply]

Mark’s plan to get into the Parker camp involves TV, a cozy couch, and a defeatist attitude. He also plans to forget his costume and cavort in a bathrobe until Cherry gets home to try on new underwear.
Holden
March 12th, 2010 at 2:58 pm [Reply]

Um. Is that J. Jonah Jameson in blackface?
Shawn S.
March 12th, 2010 at 3:04 pm [Reply]

“WOW!!! One hundred dollars!” And so begins Peter staying in Florida forever, saving old ladies as the web-slinging Guardian Angel.
Naked Bunny with a Whip
March 12th, 2010 at 3:05 pm [Reply]

@Holden: It’s Stan Lee’s black younger brother.
Digger
March 12th, 2010 at 3:12 pm [Reply]

A3G: Jack knows how to make an invitation to Margo sound appealing. If there’s one thing Margo likes, it’s kicking stuff around.

Marmaduke’s sad-eyed look is the reason he hasn’t been put down in spite of his many crimes against the community.
ElkMeadow
March 12th, 2010 at 3:15 pm [Reply]

Meanwhile, the Kurt arc lurches to a close. Mary made a total of two strips for the whole thing. And so Dawn (who might be thrilled that he’s not her brother) and Wilbur (who has no idea, it seems, who Dawn is) will sit and wait for Kurt or Iris or Mary to contact them, or show up and get them away from the table.

Again, is it “Kurt, Aldo. Aldo, Kurt” or will we have a wedding where Kurt becomes Wilbur’s son-in-law in the far, far future.
Steve S
March 12th, 2010 at 3:18 pm [Reply]

“I’m front-paging your photos, Peter! But not this one of you in the angel costume with the old lady. Learn to keep your professional pictures and personal pictures separate!”
DCBPrime
March 12th, 2010 at 3:20 pm [Reply]

I understand that Peter Parker is caucasian, but he apparently has the proportional pigmentation of a ghost spider.
Thomas B.
March 12th, 2010 at 3:20 pm [Reply]

MT-I like today’s strip as it invites us to play: “Try to figure out which shadow is Mark’s”. I assume the shortest shadow is Jan, and the one with the huge erection is Buzz. So naturally, the figure closest to Buzz’s erection is Mark. I win again.
Anonymous
March 12th, 2010 at 3:27 pm [Reply]

I suppose it’s too much to ask that Peter Parker’s quest to cash his check takes him to Walmotopia where he gets his comeuppance from Rat.
Brickers
March 12th, 2010 at 3:33 pm [Reply]

A3G – It’s heartwarming to see that Margo’s gallery has a section for children’s crayon pictures. Either that or they’ve just wandered onto the set of Art Attack.
bats :[
March 12th, 2010 at 3:34 pm [Reply]

Maybe the couch will be on pontoons!
Caroline
March 12th, 2010 at 3:35 pm [Reply]

Man, as if Margo could glean enjoyment from a simple lunch.

“How about we go out back and I kick around your business? It’d be my pleasure.”
bats :[
March 12th, 2010 at 3:36 pm [Reply]

27. Brickers: I think this is the Luann wing. No one ever goes there, much less buys anything, but it makes Luann happy.
And it makes Margo smirk.
Caroline
March 12th, 2010 at 3:39 pm [Reply]

27. Brickers — Art Attack! Oh my goodness. We can only hope.
Baka Gaijin
March 12th, 2010 at 3:42 pm [Reply]

Spiderman: The bank clerk’s laughing up his sleeve that The Miami Globe-Record rooked another maroon with the sneaky Z$ 10,000 Zimbabwean Dollar check scheme.

(mouse over the amount)
BigTed
March 12th, 2010 at 3:50 pm [Reply]

Only Peter would be that thrilled to get a check that pays for more than his expenses, since ol’ J. Jonah’s meager wages probably don’t even cover his cab fare. “Sure, I lose money on every shot — but I make it up in volume!”
Ray Jay
March 12th, 2010 at 4:17 pm [Reply]

I guess the lines in Spiderman panel 3 are spider sense, since he has no financial sense. It shows fear of money.

Also, shouldn’t the Bugle have an accounts payable department? Or does the editor simply write all outgoing checks by hand?
mollificent
March 12th, 2010 at 4:38 pm [Reply]

Jesus, Mary and Joseph. I just posted a lengthy reply on a dead thread. More caffeine, mule!
Uncle Lumpy
March 12th, 2010 at 4:39 pm [Reply]

Peter Parker’s business is staging, taking, and selling pictures of himself. He is his own parasite, and is baffled that he starves.
mollificent
March 12th, 2010 at 4:40 pm [Reply]

@bourbon babe, unbuckled (#7): That story is worth telling twice! ;)
UncleJeff
March 12th, 2010 at 4:40 pm [Reply]

bats:{ Honk!
Earthgirl
March 12th, 2010 at 4:41 pm [Reply]

Why is a mustachoied Tony Stark editor at the Miami Herald? I would have thought slumming with the likes of Peter Parker beneath him, much less a job for a dying medium.
Aviatrix
March 12th, 2010 at 4:54 pm [Reply]

@SquirrelGM (#6): I was going to discuss this with you, but I’d rather watch TV.

MT: Everywhere in North America I have flown, those airplanes are called floatplanes or maybe seaplanes. The things underneath are floats. You step on the floats to board, you pump out the floats if water gets in. The word “pontoon” in reference to airplanes is an instant hallmark of someone who doesn’t have a clue. But almost all passengers call them pontoons. Where does this word come from? Rangoon? Why is it so prevalent as to be a shibboleth? Perhaps outrigger canoes have pontoons.
Muffaroo
March 12th, 2010 at 4:57 pm [Reply]

@dull_old_man (#y88): The joys are great. Sarah’s eight now, and last Sunday morning, she scrambled some eggs by herself. That trip home had gone nicely all the way to Chicago, and that’s when it fell apart. After that nightmare, we got to the airport at home fairly late, and found that we just couldn’t manage to get the car seat — which we’d schlepped uselessly halfway around the world — to go back in the car, so we drove home slowly and nervously with me holding Sarah on my lap. We got to our house and I was telling her that this was her house, and she’d have her own bedroom, and… just then the cat walked by, and I said, “And this is our cat.”

Sarah shrieked for fifteen minutes. I wondered then if she’d ever seen any animals before. Went to sleep feeling for the first time like maybe we had actually bitten off more than we could chew, but the next morning that kid just wanted to try and follow the cats all over the place in her walker, and the cats just wanted to be somewhere else, so things were restored to their true and rightful balance.
Mollie
March 12th, 2010 at 4:57 pm [Reply]

I can’t wait till Jack Elrod completes the second part of his “drawing turtles” course (“The Back Half”). He’s probably dragging his heels because he knows that no matter how much detail he puts into his red-eared sliders, the colorists will make them, uh, brown-all-over sliders.
Melch Melch
March 12th, 2010 at 4:58 pm [Reply]

SM: …or a bank account in general…
Crock: WTF????
Muffaroo
March 12th, 2010 at 4:58 pm [Reply]

@Dingo, the Essence of Purity and Virtue Incarnate™ (#y92): “Raccoon chaining” would have to involve masks. And everybody would wash their hands afterwards.

@Baka Gaijin (#y97): You mean the “Monology,” “Existence,” and “Parcheddar” games at SantaRoyMart are phonies? Ay, corona!

@commodorejohn (#y99): It may be that Eric chose to concentrate on the 40s pop culture references. If I see him again, I’ll ask him
Muffaroo
March 12th, 2010 at 5:00 pm [Reply]

@Sparky AKA Able Bodied Seaman Craggy Fjord (#y103): Thanks for that. Man, I love those original “Captain Action” issues drawn by Kane/Wood (and written by child prodigy Jim Shooter — sigh). Our Eduardo seems to uphold the tradition set by those giants.

@Poteet (#4): I had the excitement of fighting a brush fire in Texas on Christmas Day in the early 70s. The assembled family members and some neighbors lined up against it, with trash bins of water and brooms. It’s interesting what you can do in a frenzy like that. I seem to recall hauling that immense container around, for instance, only concerned with being where I could do some good. Lucky it was by the creek! Eventually the volunteer fire department showed up, fresh from another fire, determined that things were under control, and raced off to yet another fire to the sound of our cheers and applause, and an hour or so later, Granddad brought us out to check all the fenceposts for smoldering sparks.

@Baka Gaijin (#32): I’m campaigning to promote an easily spotted reminder after a post to go back and mouseover for a seekrit message! [*]
ElkMeadow
March 12th, 2010 at 5:07 pm [Reply]

Looking at Doonesbury, where Joanie’s youngest kid just made a mess in Afganistan–he’s never met his half-sister J.J., has he?

Jeffery and J.J. were born on opposite sides of the continent, about a decade or so apart, had different fathers, different upbringings, and yet both of them managed to be the biggest screw-ups in the strip.
Revenge of Chesnut
March 12th, 2010 at 5:07 pm [Reply]

I have something to say about this blonde woman in Mark Trail: possibly a robot or an alien replacement. Real girls don’t stand around in only their wet bathing suits talking politics with a bunch of manly park ranger strangers. I mean, maybe I would if I were a hairless perfectly-proportioned cartoon lady, but she’s at least got to be getting cold even if she doesn’t know she should be self-conscious. Did she not bring a towel? Somebody should have scanned in some women’s magazines into her programming system so she would realize she’s supposed to hate her body and act accordingly.
UncleJeff
March 12th, 2010 at 5:08 pm [Reply]

Safe Havens: OK. Get this: former human boy gets impregnated by mermaid girl, gives birth to human child in ocean, the parents rush the human child to the surface so that the heroine of the strip can have a look at it and suggests taking it to a pediatrician. Boyfriend of heroine asks who the hospital should be told is “the mother.”
This is called “writing”….yourself into a corner with your weird plot.
UncleJeff
March 12th, 2010 at 5:08 pm [Reply]

Safe Havens: remember when this strip was about a day care center?
Baka Gaijin
March 12th, 2010 at 5:17 pm [Reply]

@Muffaroo (#44): Yes, sorry to say. On the other hand, SantaRoyMart has genuine Sorny, Panaphonics, and Magnetbox TV’s.
bman
March 12th, 2010 at 5:18 pm [Reply]

Peter can only wonder why such a big check is needed to cover his expenses… until he sees the cops outside, who finally tracked down the Costume Store burglar.
DamienBixlan
March 12th, 2010 at 5:19 pm [Reply]

Well, this Latino J.J. Jameson sure looks more sympathetic than his caucasian counterpart.
Calico
March 12th, 2010 at 5:22 pm [Reply]

@Caroline (#29):
“OK, Jack, good news, you ARE lunch!”
(Rips his head off with her teeth)
bats :[
March 12th, 2010 at 5:24 pm [Reply]

@Muffaroo (#44): crud. We’ve been raccoon chaining for years, just didn’t know it had a name.
Uh.
I’ve said too much.
Comcis Fan
March 12th, 2010 at 5:37 pm [Reply]

MW: In panel 2, Wilbur fondly recalls how he playfully goosed Kurt as they frolicked in the countryside.

FW: At this last patronizing and insincere comment, Wally snaps, showing his sign of strength by ripping the door off its hinges and flinging it at Lt. Pencil T. Pudgeworth.
Joe
March 12th, 2010 at 5:37 pm [Reply]

What kind of crappy newspaper that Peter is always taking pictures for keeps showing Spiderman on the front page? Surely he’s not that newsworthy. Clearly the writers don’t have any idea what’s happening in the journalism industry. If this was more realistic, Peter would be lucky to get any money since his only market would be TMZ and there would already be 50 other pictures of whatever happened submitted by other people with their iphones.
Shannon's Puppet
March 12th, 2010 at 5:51 pm [Reply]

@ElkMeadow (#46):

I was just thinking today that the younger generation of Doonesbury offspring all seem pretty clueless. The original characters were goofy, but grew up to be fairly responsible. Is this how Trudeau sees the younger generation, I wonder?
dale
March 12th, 2010 at 5:53 pm [Reply]

@Aviatrix (#40):

pontoon

My Random House II (Unabridged) includes: Pontoon; a seaplane float.
Another dictionary used more words to get to the same place.
The underlying definition is a flat-bottomed boat.
mr 12 oz can
March 12th, 2010 at 5:58 pm [Reply]

maryworth- i guess this story doesnt end to the dishes are washed
mark trail- buzz wonders if he can get a squirral like quicky with blondie before he has to go paddle with mark again
Thomas B.
March 12th, 2010 at 6:01 pm [Reply]

SM- Okay read this “Lio” style–text free–and tell me you don’t view this as a guy buying Peter for sex.
bats :[
March 12th, 2010 at 6:02 pm [Reply]

@Steve S (#23): never let it be said that Peter Parker can’t be bought.
commodorejohn
March 12th, 2010 at 6:08 pm [Reply]

@UncleJeff (#48): Bill Holbrook seems to do this kind of plot contorting a lot. Kevin & Kell used to be pretty much a funny-animal strip that took its premise somewhat more seriously, and then it started toying with longer, out-of-the-ordinary story arcs; a few years later and it had gone completely bonkers, dragging alternate universes and secret backstories and God knows what into a strip that used to be simple family comedy with an atypical take on Carnivore Confusion. This behavior is the reason I haven’t bothered with his strips in a long time; it’s too much work keeping up with something that’s just going to go and completely undercut, retcon, and reinvent itself every six months anyway.
Baka Gaijin
March 12th, 2010 at 6:09 pm [Reply]

@dale (#58): When I hear the word “pontoon” I free associate “Cathy.”

@Thomas B. (#60): Definitively.

@bats :[ (#61): What are "cha-cha pants?" Are they on the ground? Do you wear 'em with FM[*] shoes?
Nekrotzar
March 12th, 2010 at 6:15 pm [Reply]

Remember in the movie A Christmas Story, when they go to buy a christmas tree, and the father demonstrates his negotiating prowess by talking about how crappy artificial trees are? Today’s SpiderMan reminded me of that, mainly because Peter Parker has about the same intelligence, charisma, and overall raison d’etre as that lamp.
Vosh
March 12th, 2010 at 6:20 pm [Reply]

“He is his own parasite, and is baffled that he starves.”

That describes, almost poetically, too many people that I know. And Peter Parker. Well done.
Al of the Christian Singles Jungle Patrol
March 12th, 2010 at 6:32 pm [Reply]

@Baka Gaijin (#32): Actually, Zim’we uses USD$ now. I have friends who is are missionaries/college professors over there; on their last trip home they were passing out retired billion and trillion dollar Zim notes to anybody that asked for one.
Aviatrix
March 12th, 2010 at 6:38 pm [Reply]

@ElkMeadow (#46): I’m just loving the thread in Doonsbury where the slacker CIA intern keeps crossing paths with the emotionally wounded aviation mechanic and never quite connecting. You know they are going to end up together, but I don’t care if it takes years. Also I enjoy the casual detail that goes into the repairs she and her colleagues effect on the helicopters.
Alfred E. Neuman
March 12th, 2010 at 6:39 pm [Reply]

A3G— Margo and pleasure go together like chocolate mousse and broken glass.
Baka Gaijin
March 12th, 2010 at 6:40 pm [Reply]

@Al of the Christian Singles Jungle Patrol (#66): And now you see the beauty of The Miami Globe-Record’s Z$ scam.
Al of the Christian Singles Jungle Patrol
March 12th, 2010 at 6:40 pm [Reply]

@UncleJeff (#48): That’s ok. From what I understand, Holbrook writes each of his strips in one-month blocks. So either he’s already had several weeks to figure his way out of this mess, or he’s going to take several weeks to figure his way out of this mess.

Either way, Samantha will probably “treknobabble” her way out of this with some wayward DNA concoction. But, I wouldn’t mind seeing her and boyfriend Dave become new (unwed) parents out of this — just for the shock value.
Shannon's Puppet
March 12th, 2010 at 6:47 pm [Reply]

Toggle is another good character too. His mom is a hoot and I love how she doesn’t like Alex. I hope Toggle and Alex become the next Joannie and Rick Redfern.
Shannon's Puppet
March 12th, 2010 at 6:49 pm [Reply]

I do! And I miss those days. I think that’s why I enjoy cul de sac so much.
Shannon's Puppet
March 12th, 2010 at 6:51 pm [Reply]

Hmmm. I thought I hit reply on both of those.

#71 refers back to #67 (Avatrix)

#72 refers back to #49 (Uncle Jeff)

Need to preview, even if it does add a slash to my name that I have to remember to remove before I post…
Jamus The Bartender
March 12th, 2010 at 7:02 pm [Reply]

9CL:Two…no, THREE months into this and NOW we see some violence? And with one of our allies? I mean, yeah, he’s got it coming, but…..it’s about time !
Jamus The Bartender
March 12th, 2010 at 7:05 pm [Reply]

Luann: Though it shames me, I often use that trick with Mom The Bartender when she speaks of Jesus. Who was way cool.
Jamus The Bartender
March 12th, 2010 at 7:07 pm [Reply]

Rose Is Rose: Wow. I wanna see someone drop a box of paper clips and rubber bands in front of this family sometime. Hours of entertainment no cable , no computer , or no DVD could provide.
Alfred E. Neuman
March 12th, 2010 at 7:07 pm [Reply]

@Aviatrix (#40):
Re: MT— Since the senator is “…a real politician!”, maybe Ben meant to say that he uses a “poltroon plane.”
Jamus The Bartender
March 12th, 2010 at 7:10 pm [Reply]

My Cage: Damn. Looks like “Ashley And Maureen Wrestle In Jello For Everyone’s Enjoyment” didn’t make the cut in Houston….
Jamus The Bartender
March 12th, 2010 at 7:13 pm [Reply]

Mary Worth: AAAaaand we’re off to the next storyline…….
Jamus The Bartender
March 12th, 2010 at 7:15 pm [Reply]

MT: Oh dear….this is how Deliverance ended……
Jamus The Bartender
March 12th, 2010 at 7:17 pm [Reply]

Blondie: So….Mister Dithers ( does anyone know his first name?), Wilbur Weston and Ralph from Sally Forth are having marital problems of one kind or another. Perhaps it’s time they went to visit Old Town from Sin City. This would be a good thing.
Jamus The Bartender
March 12th, 2010 at 7:20 pm [Reply]

@Shawn S. (#19): That’s probably more than what Jameson gives him….
Jamus The Bartender
March 12th, 2010 at 7:25 pm [Reply]

@ElkMeadow (#46): Okay, there was a Broadway version of Doonesbury, or off-Broadway, covering the time when Trudeau went on hiatus from….81 to 83..I think…anyway, the story covered the gang leaving Walden Commune and college graduation and Uncle Duke swatting hallucinations with his flyswatter. JJ met baby Jeff during the course of the play.
zerowolf
March 12th, 2010 at 7:34 pm [Reply]

Crankshaft: Hitting on you, no. Hitting you; we can only hope.
zerowolf
March 12th, 2010 at 7:43 pm [Reply]

Marmaduke: Marmaduke doesn’t want a lawyer, he prefers accountants for dessert.
Alfred E. Neuman
March 12th, 2010 at 7:48 pm [Reply]

@Jamus The Bartender (#81): Re Blondie— It’s Julius Caesar.
Hi There
March 12th, 2010 at 7:56 pm [Reply]

FW: Turning to more relevant matters: who won that damn high-school basketball game anyway?
Lawyerbob
March 12th, 2010 at 8:00 pm [Reply]

A3G: “Oh, I see. So this is business, not pleasure. I’ll just put the whip away and take off these damned boots, then.”

MT: “He’s a real politician! He knows the Parker Brothers control the vote of every giant bird and turtle on the lake!”

Marmaduke: I really thought Hitler guy was holding a gun. A girl can dream . . .
zerowolf
March 12th, 2010 at 8:08 pm [Reply]

MT: I’m so glad he’s a real politician. The imitation politicians don’t have the same taste and texture.
Buck Ripsnort
March 12th, 2010 at 8:09 pm [Reply]

Marmapuke: Those kids are waaaay too happy their dog is facing the death penalty. “Lethal injection,dad? Or will they put him in one of your old gas chambers?”
Violet
March 12th, 2010 at 8:16 pm [Reply]

I can’t really get behind Margo’s insistence on flirting awkwardly and archaically with every man she encounters, regardless of relationship. I am particularly not looking forward to her next conversation with her dad, wherein he says, “Margo, I love you,” and she says something like, “Why, Mr. Magee, this is so sudden!”
bats :[
March 12th, 2010 at 8:43 pm [Reply]

@Baka Gaijin (#63): evidently “cha-cha pants” can be three different things:
1. tailored pants, often with flared legs below the knee (bell-bottoms), that are worn for Latin dance parties/competitions/whatever (samba, cha-cha, rumba). This was news to me.
2. stretchy, tight-fitting pants that are popular nowadays for exercise and yoga. This was also news to me.
3. little girl panties (often a fancy diaper cover) with rows and rows of ruffles across the butt; they are worn by baby/toddler girls under fancy, short dresses (or at least used to be) so that the ensemble suggests that the wearer is all grown up, rather than being worn by a very small person who still craps her pants.

I’ll let you decide what Peter’s going to spend his wad o’ cash on…
Écureuil Écumant
March 12th, 2010 at 8:50 pm [Reply]

MT: Senator Wallace visits the Parker camp quite often. He’s a real hard-shelled ol’ coot(er)!
Muffaroo
March 12th, 2010 at 8:56 pm [Reply]

How soon before we find out that all the Parkers are related to Peter, and they never go out on the lake because they’re all on their recliners, watching TV?
wossname
March 12th, 2010 at 9:10 pm [Reply]

Anon #Y31 – Katy Keane? OMG, I know exactly what you’re talking about. I’d forgotten about her, but your post reminded me. She was the brunette heroine, and there was some blonde rival/villainess, but I (a kid at the time, of course) really admired the semi-obscure redhead character, who I believe was named Lucky Red Lorelei. (Can that be right?) And now I dye my hair red. I don’t think these things are unrelated.

Calico #Y67- I remember coloring margarine by hand, probably in the late 50s or early 60s. I don’t think we ever had to mix powder into white margarine with a spoon, because there was a huge breakthrough when Mazola or somebody came up with a sealed pouch of margarine with a poppable button that released the yellow dye. So you’d sit there and knead the pouch until the dye was dispersed evenly. I remember this as being a Quebec thing which my father blamed on the dairy farmers’ lobby wanting to make margarine difficult.

Bourbon babe #Y112 – The squirrel nasty may be quick, but the flirtation/foreplay is not. And squirrels are like the bonobos of the rodent world – they do threesomes and orgies and seem to enjoy it immensely. I’ve spent hours – well, OK, minutes – watching them. HAMMY!, does any of this ring a bell?
Jamus The Bartender
March 12th, 2010 at 9:37 pm [Reply]

Oh….found this link to some Spider Man toys. I’ll let it speak for itself.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FTc6uiskIgU&feature=fvhl
Alfred E. Neuman
March 12th, 2010 at 9:39 pm [Reply]

@wossname (#95): Re: Reply to Calico— We had the same thing in California in the 1940s. As a small child, one of my favorite things was to pop the pouch of coloring dye and knead it into the margarine. I guess California had a weaker farmers’ lobby than Quebec, because margarine started to appear in butter color in the early 1950s. I imagine that all of our young whippersnapper Curmudgeons (both of them) are getting a real history lesson from this discussion thread.
DaveyK
March 12th, 2010 at 10:04 pm [Reply]

Someone get a copy of Strunk and White, open to the page about exclamation point usage, over to the Mark Trail HQ…and quickly.
Uncle Lumpy
March 12th, 2010 at 10:07 pm [Reply]

@wossname (#95), @Alfred E. Neuman (#97):

Wisconsin had bag-and-dot margarine well into the ’60’s, but it was undermined by “oleoleggers” — little old ladies like Great-grandma Lumpy, driving big ’50’s sedans down to the Illinois border, filling up the trunks with Blue Bonnet from one of the blindingly lit margarine depots, dodging the State Police on the way back, and then reselling their contraband to friends and neighbors.
The Ridger
March 12th, 2010 at 10:12 pm [Reply]

@DaveyK (#98): Not even the writers of Mark Trail deserve to have Strunk & White inflicted on them…
NoahSnark
March 12th, 2010 at 10:18 pm [Reply]

Marmaduke isn’t going to need a lawyer, but the entire family is going to watch Old Yeller so they can learn that love sometimes means shooting your dog and getting a new one.
Comcis Fan
March 12th, 2010 at 10:34 pm [Reply]

@wossname (#95):

It never occurred to me that anyone marketed margarine as any color other than yellow.
mr 12 oz can
March 12th, 2010 at 11:00 pm [Reply]

rex morgan – its really creepy the way the artist draws the little girl . is there freind who owns the nail store the same fat chick who gave the recipe to some resterant in the cue storyline ??? toots come out of the closet i mean basement
The Ridger
March 12th, 2010 at 11:06 pm [Reply]

@Comcis Fan (#102): They didn’t “market” it, they were forced to sell it that way so people wouldn’t mistakenly buy it instead of butter. Everybody wanted it yellow, that’s why they sold the various coloring gimmicks.

It reminds me of something that happened in the early 70s, when I was in college. Someone got the bright idea of feeding chickens linseed, to get value after the oil was pressed out. Chickens loved it, all was well – except that the yolks of the eggs they laid were different colors. People swore blind that the blue or green eggs tasted bad (though they couldn’t pick them out in blind tests). People are just opinionated about what their food should look like, and the look can affect the perception of taste. (This is why fake eggs are yellow.)
Miss Othmar
March 12th, 2010 at 11:26 pm [Reply]

@The Ridger (#100):

Sacrilege!! Where are the Didactic Duo to help me defend the eternal memory of Messrs. Strunk and White??
Aviatrix
March 12th, 2010 at 11:29 pm [Reply]

@Uncle Lumpy (#99): In Ontario, as recently as the 1990s, margarine was available in a choice of white or orange, again leaving yellow to the genuine butter. Quite startling if you happen to pick one of the orange varieties unawares.
Poteet
March 12th, 2010 at 11:36 pm [Reply]

@Uncle Lumpy (#36): Ooooh, that’s good.
ElkMeadow
March 12th, 2010 at 11:45 pm [Reply]

@Shannon’s Puppet (#57):
I was just thinking today that the younger generation of Doonesbury offspring all seem pretty clueless. The original characters were goofy, but grew up to be fairly responsible. Is this how Trudeau sees the younger generation, I wonder?

I think it’s something about Joanie’s genes. Both J.J. and Jeff have 50% of her DNA, Alex, 25%.

“Responsible” is not a word one would ever use to describe some of the original cast, at least not in a positive way. (Hello, Zeke.)

Melissa, Roz, Toggle, Alex’s roommate, they all have their heads on straight, even allowing for Roz’s being “raised the the WWE!”

Dude’s a newcomer, maybe only a one strip guy, and Zipper, being a Harris, didn’t have a chance. Earl, being the son of Duke is really sharp… maybe he’s a space alien in a cloned body?
ElkMeadow
March 12th, 2010 at 11:55 pm [Reply]

@Aviatrix (#67):

I don’t think Jeff and Melissa will ever really “be” together; she’s been through enough. But I think Trudeau will be cruel and keep us on our toes, teasing us. After all, Ginny did marry her couch potato (cannot remember his name).
ElkMeadow
March 12th, 2010 at 11:57 pm [Reply]

@Jamus The Bartender (#83):

Thanks. I remember seeing the posters, and I read part of the playbook, but I didn’t know about Jeff and J.J. meeting on-stage. I just know I haven’t seen it in print, and if they did, I missed the story line completely.
bats :[
March 13th, 2010 at 12:04 am [Reply]

Tucsonan (and Arizonan) Alert!: The second (annual, I suppose) Tucson Festival of Books will be held Saturday and Sunday on the UA campus. The event is free (even the parking, which is something of a miracle on the UA campus)!! 450 authors will be in attendance.
The guys who do “Zits” will be given a talk at 1:00 PM Saturday. (Sorry, I’ll be going to an SF panel with Timothy Zahn and Joan Vinge on how to write (or not — I know someone who tried doing this) for other people’s universes — Star Wars, Star Trek, and the like.)
Parmalat Loire
March 13th, 2010 at 12:05 am [Reply]

MW – Leave it to Mary Worth to show the softer, more sympathetic side of identity thieves. Some of them don’t want your credit cards, after all, but rather a place in your heart and home. I assume this is because Mary Worth is still stuck in an era where cocaine and hallucinogenics are not just legal but endorsed by medical and psychiatric professionals and is just a crack fantasy of the future by the worst’s most boring idealist.
Ribinin
March 13th, 2010 at 12:20 am [Reply]

@Uncle Lumpy (#99): I remember here in Santa Royale, and I guess all of California, that margarine could not be sold colored. It looked like lard. We used to partially melt it and mix this colored powder to get the right color and have it even throughout.

Strong butter lobby, I guess.
AhClem
March 13th, 2010 at 12:25 am [Reply]

@ElkMeadow (#109):
I don’t think Jeff and Melissa will ever really “be” together; she’s been through enough. But I think Trudeau will be cruel and keep us on our toes, teasing us. After all, Ginny did marry her couch potato (cannot remember his name).

If I remember correctly (not always a safe assumption), his name was Clyde.
Jamus The Bartender
March 13th, 2010 at 12:35 am [Reply]

@ElkMeadow (#110): I read the book at my local public library back in…..high school or junior college. Also, yeah, not only did Ginny marry Clyde, but he ran for congress using one of the greatest campaign slogans ever….”ANY PLACE, ANY TIME….I WILL FILL ANY BOTTLE”
Evan
March 13th, 2010 at 12:36 am [Reply]

The web-slinging and other odd super-powers I can handle, but a world where newspapers have money and freelance photographers get paid is just too much of a stretch to be believable.
ElkMeadow
March 13th, 2010 at 12:43 am [Reply]

@Jamus The Bartender (#115):
and
@AhClem (#114):

Thanks. Ginny and Clyde were/are a great couple. I miss them.
Poteet
March 13th, 2010 at 12:52 am [Reply]

@ElkMeadow (#117): Me too.
Cow
March 13th, 2010 at 12:59 am [Reply]

Moo
Poteet, a.k.a. Madeline Astor Rosettastone
March 13th, 2010 at 1:09 am [Reply]

JP — Oh rapture, it’s name time again!
Aviatrix
March 13th, 2010 at 1:17 am [Reply]

@AhClem (#114): Awww. But maybe he’s sweet and safe enough and she’s tough enough that they’d be good for one another, just for a while.
Stanley Kowalski
March 13th, 2010 at 1:28 am [Reply]

STELLA!
Jason1981
March 13th, 2010 at 1:29 am [Reply]

Luann:

*After Brad hangs up the phone*

Toni “Brad, do you hear that sound? Like a bunch of cats fighting…except with swear words!”

Brad: “Yeah, and I don’t have to tv switched to Jerry Springer…….Weird…..”

Curtis : No, Curtis, if you do something, it’s because you’re a little a**hole. (You had to go and start this sh**, didnt you? You were almost kinda-sorta-but-not-really likeable after that stuff with the bullies, but you had to ruin it)

FW: “And Cancer and Depression aren’t illnesses…they’re hobbies!…at least in this town”

S-M: “WOW! I oughtta wear dresses more often!”

“That’s the amount I’m paying you to NOT wear em. Don’t ever do that again, Parker.”

MT: Buzz is grinning like an idiot in panel 3 ’cause….well, cause Elrod can’t draw worth a sh**, but I like to imagine it’s because he heard about Mark’s stupidity with Rusty. ” HAHAHAHA…a plan! Does it involve breaking into a store and getting hit in the head? I’ll stay here and have hot sex with the girl, thanks. “
Stanley Kowalski
March 13th, 2010 at 1:34 am [Reply]

Fuckin’ job jigger.
Stanley Kowalski
March 13th, 2010 at 1:37 am [Reply]

Yeah. Like Rangers never wear life jackets. That’ll fool ‘em.
Fuckin’ Mark Trail.
Stanley Kowalski
March 13th, 2010 at 1:39 am [Reply]

Kurt got a blow job!
Fuckin’ Mary Worth and Dawn and Wilbur.
Stanley Kowalski
March 13th, 2010 at 1:41 am [Reply]

Brook’s a skank!
Fuckin’ Rex Morgan.
Stanley Kowalski
March 13th, 2010 at 1:44 am [Reply]

Zippy the Pinhead sucks turds.
Stanley Kowalski
March 13th, 2010 at 1:44 am [Reply]

I’m outta here.
Cow
March 13th, 2010 at 1:50 am [Reply]

Moo?
HAMMY THE SQUIRREL!
March 13th, 2010 at 2:04 am [Reply]

@wossname (#95): WOOOOOOHOOOO!! LOCK UP THE SHY GIRLS AND LET THE GAMES BEGIN!!!
YAHHHHHOOOOO! WOSSNAME! YOU – ME -RIGHT NOW – RIGHT HERE!!!!
YIPPPYDIDODUM!!! DON’T TRY TO HOLD ME DOWN ‘CAUSE I’M A FLYIN’!!

or something like that
Hobbes Fan
March 13th, 2010 at 2:06 am [Reply]

ReFOOB: Does he get the clown nose from John’s side of the family as well?
Jason1981
March 13th, 2010 at 2:09 am [Reply]

@Cow (#130):

….Ooh, a free hamburger! *slowly reaches for shotgun*
Cow
March 13th, 2010 at 2:14 am [Reply]

@Jason1981 (#133): Jason, I am your great grandmother.
Anna Nimity of the 2010 Jungle Patrol
March 13th, 2010 at 2:39 am [Reply]

Thanks Mudges, for helping me figure out the comics reader. Dean Booth’s Comic Page did the trick!

You guys are the best,

Anna
Anna Nimity of the 2010 Jungle Patrol
March 13th, 2010 at 2:41 am [Reply]

@Stanley Kowalski (#125): Awww, a troll who reads Tennessee Williams. And thinks he’s Marlon Brando. How cuuuuuuuute!
Poteet, a.k.a. Madeline Astor Rosettastone
March 13th, 2010 at 3:02 am [Reply]

LUANN — Dress-shopping. *shudder* To some of us, it’s better than a colonoscopy, but not much.
Anonymous
March 13th, 2010 at 3:07 am [Reply]

@Cow (#134): Nice try. Only one of my grandmas knows how to use the ‘net, and you ain’t her. …….Besides, I saw you auditioning on one of those “happy cow” commercials…you can’t fool me.

Anyway…3/13:

Luann: Mmm… woman in a sexy double-breasted coat..yummm….Other than that, the strip sucks.

MT: “AND FINALLY, KEEP YOUR IDENITY SECRET. NO ONE MUST KNOW THAT YOU ARE A RANGER. …WAIT, NO , THOSE ARE MY RULES FOR THE OTHER RANGERS.”

“Why’re you talking like that blue-headed guy, Mark?”

“CAUSE HIS VOICE WAS AWESOME AND I’M NOT. NOW SHUT UP. ”

S-M: W….T…F? Parker, I HOPE Sabertooth comes to Miami and kicks your ass for being so effing stupid! The editor doesn’t want pics of THAT superhero, Spider-douche!

RMMD: Sarah’s thoughts in the last panel ” Wow, now I can REALLY boss him around! MUAHAHAHAHAHAHA!”
mollificent
March 13th, 2010 at 3:12 am [Reply]

@Poteet, a.k.a. Madeline Astor Rosettastone (#137): For me, it’s feast or famine. I’ll go for months without seeing a single thing I’d be willing to put on my body, and then suddenly (like tonight) I’ll see a Canadian stepdancing fiddler wearing the most awesome dress I’ve ever seen, and after bugging her for the details, check out “Le Château” website and decide I need EVERYTHING. Credit cards are in the paper shredder as we speak. ;)
Poteet
March 13th, 2010 at 3:14 am [Reply]

STONE SOUP — Four days of whining about the dreadful problem of being alone and being unable to think of anything to do. Grandma was damn smart to get as far away as possible.
Poteet
March 13th, 2010 at 3:18 am [Reply]

@mollificent (#139): Post a photo when you wear it:-).
Meatbag
March 13th, 2010 at 3:35 am [Reply]

He’s a real politician- not at all like Governor Babar McSquishworth, who does nothing but pontificate about “more peanuts for public figures” this and “ivory hunting bill” that. Say, anybody seen my lithium?
Mibbitmaker
March 13th, 2010 at 3:41 am [Reply]

Saturday the 13th:

A3G: ….or from humanity itself.

FW: “Suffering” — that’s Funky Winkerbean, alright.

GA: Oh, shut up!

JP: Who the hell are these people now? WHERE’S NEDDY?!?

MW: ” — Oh! Thank God my jaw is still here!”

S-M: Um…. Peter….. Saaaaabretooth, looooking for Spiiiiider-M– uh, Peter? Pete– Oh, never mind!

ZtP: Leno snark. Win!!
Chip Whittle
March 13th, 2010 at 3:54 am [Reply]

I admire Mark Trail for proposing an action with an explanation that not only doesn’t explain anything, but is sufficiently odd that any attempt to provide context for the word balloon in the third panel can’t make the statement any the less odd. I think this storyline may see the Trailiverse reach its final, perfect stage, whereupon we reach a Sunday page and the strip sheds its skin to become a butterfly or an iguana or something, keeping watch o’er our locks by night.

o/~How much is that Spidey costume in the window? The one with the emptiest head? How much is that Spidey costume in the window? My poor brain has left me for dead. o/~

It took long enough but at least 9 Chickweed Lane has finally started punching its characters, and we can hope it will never stop.
Baka Gaijin
March 13th, 2010 at 4:39 am [Reply]

Pluggers: Ironically, in de Pere, Wisconsin,[*] if that football jersey is green and gold, it’s perfect for Sunday church. And christenings, weddings (including bride and groom), and funerals for both guests and guest of honor.

Mark Trail: Mark, if you’d stop looking so lovingly at the Ski-Doo you were humping a few minutes ago you’d notice Blondie there wearing his life jacket already.

Cathy: Damn, that bitch is never happy. Irving complimented her expensively plumped eyes and lips and she goes running out of the room in a huff. He ignores her for the computer, iPhone, digital camera, crack in the wall, for years and she goes running out of the room in a huff. You know Cathy, maybe it’s not him. Just sayin’.

Rose is Rose: Sleep clawing? Kitty, a little higher and a little further to the right, please.

Mary Worth: Hand on face, Wilbur’s next romantic conquest is none other than…Adrian!

Garfield: I laughed. Projectile furballs are funny.
Baka Gaijin
March 13th, 2010 at 5:04 am [Reply]

@bats :[ (#92): If Spidey knew what brings in the bucks in Miami, #3 with coordinated FM shoes instead of the Spiderman suit. I’m no Fashion Police but you really have to work to stand out in South Beach.

@Evan (#116): See my post at #32 for an explanation.

@Poteet, a.k.a. Madeline Astor Rosettastone (#137): What say Madeline Astor Rosettastone on “dress shopping at WalMart.” Do WalMart even have dresses other than muumuus and the extra large sizes by Omar the Tentmaker?

You know, maybe Toni and Mrs. DeGroot will bond over the fashion faux pas on their fellow customers. Counting whale tails, laughing at titties hanging out the arm holes of tank tops, chuckling at panty lines visible from the Hubble Telescope, things they can reminisce over cups of General Foods International Coffee, Cafe Vienna for the screeching harpy, Suisse Mocha for young trollop.
This Guy
March 13th, 2010 at 5:18 am [Reply]

Rose is Rose: Well, it’s happened–the cat has become possessed by Bardiel, the 13th angel. We’ll need to sortie all of our Evangelions and firebomb the entire strip after the target is terminated, just to be sure.
Baka Gaijin
March 13th, 2010 at 5:46 am [Reply]

Where is everyone? WAKE UP!
dyslexic dog
March 13th, 2010 at 6:39 am [Reply]

@Baka Gaijin (#148):
Shhhhhhhhh! I just got in. And get me a hot water bottle.
dyslexic dog
March 13th, 2010 at 6:39 am [Reply]

@Baka Gaijin (#148):
Shhhhhhhhh! I just got in. And get me a hot water bottle!
dyslexic dog
March 13th, 2010 at 6:40 am [Reply]

now i’m so discombobulated I’m double posting
Baka Gaijin
March 13th, 2010 at 6:47 am [Reply]

@dyslexic dog (#150): Hot water bottle coming up!
KarMann
March 13th, 2010 at 6:57 am [Reply]

3/13 GT: Well, it’s official. Now that they’ve gotten explicit and specific about their ages, we know that Steve and Cassie dating wouldn’t be creepy due to the age difference.
Mr. O'Malley
March 13th, 2010 at 7:00 am [Reply]

@Professor Fate (#y93): “Old angry colored gin woman” would make an awesome nom de blog for someone.

Jetways: San Jose International “we have one flight to Mexico” Airport still has wheelup stairs at Terminal A, which handles about half the flights.

Friday Lio: FWIW I think the mystery man is Hi.

Butter and margarine: My father came from a large family, so during WWII they had plenty of ration coupons. Then he joined the Air Force, where there was plenty to eat. A favorite story in my family is how, after the war, but still during rationing, when he came courting my mother (it was just her and her father), he put a whole week’s butter ration on one slice of bread.

I remember when margarine had blister packs of food coloring. It happened in Canada through the 1960s. Butter is artificially colored to make up for variations in the diet of cows throughout the year. But the butter producers managed to get a law that margarine couldn’t have artificial colour. It was my chore as a child to squeeze the food colouring through the white margarine until it was uniformly yellow. Unless we’d been across the border and smuggled in some yellow American margarine.

6C: Nice guys finish last with Psychotic-Girl.

RMMD: Sarah, taking cues from her mother, is going to exploit Toots for all sorts of purposes.
Numbat
March 13th, 2010 at 7:25 am [Reply]

MW Interesting that the dénouement of this particular escapade is longer than the rest of the whole misadventure put together. No wonder Dawn was trying to gag herself with the dinner napkin on Friday. Or was she eating it in an attempt to introduce more fibre into her diet?

DT So after endless panels of Mr Wild Violin-Playing Hair vowing to kill his son, someone else beats him to the punch.

MC It was so totally worth it.

A3G For some reason when I saw today’s strip all I could think was, “Orange, orange, orange.” Somebody’s colour monkey must be heading for a psychotic break.
This Guy
March 13th, 2010 at 7:43 am [Reply]

@Numbat (#155): I think the pervasive orange coloring indicates something more. Specifically, it means that Third Impact has occurred, and Margo and what’s-his-face are drifting in a sea of LCL, stubbornly trying to hold together their AT fields in a vain attempt to enjoy an ordinary business lunch. Gotta give ‘em points for good ego strength, at least.
Lucky
March 13th, 2010 at 7:58 am [Reply]

Dennis the Menace – I doubt that diarrhea you have in your glass helps either.

Family Circus – Considering Barfy’s completely unnecessary inclusion, I believe that jar contained peanut butter in the original draft but Jeff ultimately chickened out on publishing that version.

Monty – Tatsunoko VS. Capcom? Great, yet kind of obscure game that was recently released? Mentioned in a newspaper strip? I’m so impressed that I will let the vintage autumn 2006 joke pass this time.

Spider-Moron – … … … What did you say just last week!? Remember that!? http://www.chron.com/apps/comics/showComick.mpl?date=20100303&name=Spiderman
queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
March 13th, 2010 at 7:58 am [Reply]

MC: so TOTALLY worth it! C’mon, Ed Power, you gotta let us see the “too cool for the funny papers” Friday strip.

6Cx: bow-chikka-wowwow.

SF: awwww.

SB: heh. cute idea.

Lio: “pull!” Big Bag o Dead Flies is the icing on this cake of awesome.

Candorville: more aerodynamically curvaceous Susan, less of everything else, please. Think Frank Cho. Worked for him.
professor fate
March 13th, 2010 at 9:34 am [Reply]

FW: Okay if “knowledge by suffering endures” then why is everyone in Funky Winkerbean a complete jerk?
Thomas B.
March 13th, 2010 at 9:38 am [Reply]

MT- Okay this is the third time this week I find Mark in the “bottoming out” position. Does Elrod think by saturating the strip with gay ineundo that I’m going to finally become bored with the gay jokes and move on to something else? Well there is no way that could…Hey look at that, Garfield is hungry.
Numbat
March 13th, 2010 at 9:59 am [Reply]

@This Guy (#156):

Actually, I think you could be correct in your assumption – if the expression on Margo’s face is anything to go by.
HAMMY THE SQUIRREL!
March 13th, 2010 at 10:07 am [Reply]

I’M NOT VIOLENT. IN FACT I’M QUITE PEACEFUL.
BUT SUDDENLY, I HAVE THIS FEELING THAT I WANT TO HURT JIM SCANCERELLI!!
Baka Gaijin
March 13th, 2010 at 10:13 am [Reply]

@HAMMY THE SQUIRREL! (#162): I agree. Gather up some kindling and pointy sticks HAMMY. I’ve got the cauldron and chocolate. We’re having us a great big cannibal fondue!
Hibbleton
March 13th, 2010 at 10:17 am [Reply]

DTM: Hey kid. If you ate some greens, you wouldn’t need that pillow for your hemorrhoids.

Stone Soup: Geez, Louise. Will you go take a bubble bath and masturbate, already.
DavidMac
March 13th, 2010 at 10:19 am [Reply]

Spider Man: Wait until Peter Parker tries to cash the check and notices that it’s signed “Barack Obama/Stimulus Fund”. And doesn’t The Bugle have a payroll/accounts payable department? What’s with the personal checks?
HAMMY THE SQUIRREL!
March 13th, 2010 at 10:20 am [Reply]

@Baka Gaijin (#163): SQUEE!!!
Thomas B.
March 13th, 2010 at 10:22 am [Reply]

MT- By instructing him to put on a life preserver when he clearly is already wearing one, Buzz learns a lesson Cherry has known for years: Mark doesn’t look at you after sex.
Écureuil Écumant
March 13th, 2010 at 10:28 am [Reply]

MT: Mark’s already been concussed once by the Parkers. Now he wants to share the luv. “You pretend you’re not a law enforcement official so they will pound the shit out of you — er, so they will be distracted — while I go sneak behind some bushes and watch.”

No wonder this dude likes shrikes.
Anonymous
March 13th, 2010 at 10:31 am [Reply]

Peter Parker, with the proportionate long-term memory of a spider, has already completely forgotten the very reason he was in Miami in the first place. I suppose I can’t blame him, though. He did receive enough money to buy a whole costume, after all. Not every day you get such a windfall.
Écureuil Écumant
March 13th, 2010 at 10:33 am [Reply]

@152 Baka Gaijin said:

@dyslexic dog (#150): Hot water bottle coming up!

Looks like exactly the thing for keeping one’s Charterstone wedding reception enema bag Potato-Ade fountain just the right cozy temperature!
The Ridger
March 13th, 2010 at 10:42 am [Reply]

I might be wrong, but I think Sarah’s experiencing empathy. Or at least wondering what it would take for June to toss her out…
zerowolf
March 13th, 2010 at 10:53 am [Reply]

MW: His bi-curiosity satisfied, Kurt leaves Wilbur with fond memories, maxed out credit cards and an empty checking account.
zerowolf
March 13th, 2010 at 10:55 am [Reply]

A3G — Mills Gallery has plenty of customers. The problem is they are chameleon people and blend into the pumpkin orange background. Or are those the ghosts of Margo’s past victims?
HAMMY THE SQUIRREL!
March 13th, 2010 at 11:02 am [Reply]

LIKE TED FORTH, I WANT A ‘DROID MONKEY!!!
well, it could be live and not a monkey. a girl squirrel. ~hee hee~
Dingo, the Essence of Purity and Virtue Incarnate™
March 13th, 2010 at 11:13 am [Reply]

@bats :[ (#54): Bats, now I’m imagining you and Mr. Bats dressed like Halle Berry in Catwoman and Dr. Kessler from Gil Thorp doin’ the nasty out on the lanai with your hands gripping a garbage can, making all types of racket.
zerowolf
March 13th, 2010 at 11:18 am [Reply]

@DavidMac (#165): Anything under $25.00 can be paid from Petty Cash.
Hi There
March 13th, 2010 at 11:24 am [Reply]

FW: So what’s the next sob story for FW to pursue? The problems of managing a semi-successful girl basket ball team? The effect of global warming on Funkytown? Maybe it will be a lighthearted look at dementia featuring Dinkle and his wife. Perhaps Wally and Comic Book Pete will bond over their inability to leave their apartments. Your guess is as good as mine.

The only thing we know for sure — someone will die a horrible death.
zerowolf
March 13th, 2010 at 11:28 am [Reply]

@Hi There (#177): Considering that the person will finally be free of the Funky-verse, is there any death that’s really all that horrible?
mr 12 oz can
March 13th, 2010 at 11:35 am [Reply]

maryworth – i predicted this storyline would end with them washing the dishes earlier in the week but do i get a blue ribbon nooooooo
mark trail- mark you dimwitted twit the parkers already knocked the spit out of senator heart attack you think they wont deliver a few hundred haymakers to some horny forest ranger named after a bees mating call !!!
apt 3g – i dont see what you freaks think is so great about margo go back to professer p storyline
mustang
March 13th, 2010 at 11:42 am [Reply]

3G – Since it’s business and not pleasure, Margo, always the professional, won’t be enjoying a glass of wine with her blood.
commodorejohn
March 13th, 2010 at 11:54 am [Reply]

A3G – Oh, Margo, you can just admit that you don’t have any feelings. Nobody in New York will hold it against you.

AS – Glass houses, Mr. Hillburn, glass houses.

BC – I do not understand the inclusion of the Mafia into B.C., but as someone who was in college not so very long ago, I can definitely agree that the textbook thing is a world-class extortion racket.

BlC – I wish more people would treat TV vultures like this.

DT – Wow. I don’t think I’ve ever seen a bystander get injured in Dick Tracy before. I was kind of under the impression that the laws of its universe permitted only villains to be killed. And I have to say this: this is more effective pathos in three panels than Funky Winkerbean has displayed in years.

FW – Fuck you all.

GT – Wow. This is pretty blatant for a newspaper strip.

JP – *jaw hits floor like a Tex Avery character* Wow. Now I’m kind of disappointed that this guy will be leaving. Could we maybe give him a spinoff strip starring Stella? And she can meet up with a mysterious blonde who calls herself Kathleen, but used to go by Dixie?

Luann – Oh, would you all just die in a fire. P.S. no, Brad, your mom does not want to “be friends” and anybody with two functioning ganglia can see that. Christ.

MT – *fit of giggles*

MW – Psst, Wilbur, grabbing your cheeks does not make you look sagacious. It makes you look like an obese chimp.

Monty – Tatsunoko vs. Capcom? I think this is the nerdiest thing I’ve seen in the funnies outside of FoxTrot.

MC – Oh, this is gold. P.S. hey Ed, you ever gonna tell us what the story was with yesterday’s strip?

RMMD – I assume Sarah looks concerned because Brook leaving would mean she would lose her leverage over that funny guy in the basement who gives her things.

RBION – Well, Ripley’s Believe It Or Not and trigona carbonaria have fueled my nightmares for the next month or so.

SM – So let me see. He didn’t bring his Spider-Man costume because he didn’t want word getting around that Spider-Man was in Miami. Then he grabbed another costume to do his crimefighting with because he didn’t want people knowing he was Peter Parker. Now, as Peter Parker, he’s purchasing a Spider-Man costume with which to do his crimefighting. I’m going to go bang my head against the wall for a bit.
Baka Gaijin
March 13th, 2010 at 12:06 pm [Reply]

@commodorejohn (#181) on Spiderman: I think there’s room in the pot. Just bring sharp sticks.
John C Fremont
March 13th, 2010 at 12:10 pm [Reply]

Go get the butter, mule!

MW – Well I’ll tell you what Kurt got out of it, Dawn. He put some demons to rest, that’s what.

Hmm. Demon. Rhymes with semen. Coincidence? What do you people at home think?

Note: I am not Jim Hutton, but an incredible simulation.

Watson, the needle!
Flipper
March 13th, 2010 at 12:18 pm [Reply]

@Lucky (#157): OR… the original draft of Family Circus used the word penises instead of peanuts, but the editor thought it wasn’t clear Billy was filling his penny jar with the money the middle school boys paid him. Could be the peanut butter theory, though.
TheDiva
March 13th, 2010 at 12:23 pm [Reply]

@commodorejohn (#181): IIRC (it was something like four years ago so I may be mistaken) sonny-boy was the one who stole the Strad and gave it to the vaguely defined terrorists. Although I don’t think he knew they were going to stuff a bomb in the resonating chamber, the Tracyverse still adheres to the old Hays Code which means the felony must be punished, preferably by death.

C’shaft: I suspect Crankshaft is going to die of an “accidentally” mis-filed prescription before too long.

FW: This explains so much about Batiuk.

Luann: Brad’s obliviousness is so endearing. No, that’s not the word I’m looking for, what’s the one…oh that’s right, annoyingly stupid.

MW: Even Wilbur doesn’t know what Kurt saw in him.
Muffaroo
March 13th, 2010 at 12:24 pm [Reply]

9CL – “Just one other thing, Colonel… …if you will turn around, you will see that I have got your nose!”

AD – Are these the college textbooks that deny you guys exist?

Crock – I’m encouraged by today’s strip. Watching these guys’ bones bleach in the desert sun will be a comparative laff riot.

Dick – “You monster! I was going to kill him!”
Muffaroo
March 13th, 2010 at 12:26 pm [Reply]

Gil – KarMann beat me to it, but have fun outside of the panel, kids, and remember the Scout motto.

Marmaduke – “Give me a hand with this winding sheet! He’s starting to stiffen already.”

Mary – “I suppose the lad was just Pa-curious. Say, have you seen my wallet and watch around anywhere? I thought they were on this table.”

Mutts – “It SPHINX!” [*]
Muffaroo
March 13th, 2010 at 12:27 pm [Reply]

Pluggers don’t actually give a crap.

Rx – “…and that goes for you too, Brook!”

Shoe – Okay, so this hoodlum’s walking down the street at night with his girl, and she says, “Oh, the necklace in that shop window is so pretty!” So the hoodlum pulls a brick out of his pocket, throws it through the window, and gives her the necklace. They walk a little farther and she says, “Oh, I just love that mink coat!” So he pulls out a brick, busts the window, and gives her the coat. In the next block, she says, “Oh, I wish I had those darling shoes!” and he says, “Hey, you think I’m made of bricks?”

@Thomas B. (#167): Best snicker of the day so far.
Poteet
March 13th, 2010 at 12:29 pm [Reply]

@Muffaroo (#45): Your granddad sounds like a smart man.
Red Greenback
March 13th, 2010 at 12:31 pm [Reply]

A3-G: “Margo, are you free for lunch today? There’s a great restaurant in town and it’s owned by Senator Boehner.”
Écureuil Écumant
March 13th, 2010 at 12:37 pm [Reply]

@179 mr 12 oz can said:

maryworth – i predicted this storyline would end with them washing the dishes earlier in the week but do i get a blue ribbon nooooooo

I agree totally. That was a great call. Why should you get bupkis?
FOOBed again
March 13th, 2010 at 12:39 pm [Reply]

A3G 3/13: Margo has feelings?
Poteet
March 13th, 2010 at 12:41 pm [Reply]

@Baka Gaijin (#146): Madeline appreciates your request for her viewpoint:-). After she has considered all the layers of misery in this expedition, however — shopping with Mama DeGroot, who has lately been turned into a nosy harpy, shopping for a red-carpet opening for a high-school musical, which smacks of eye-rolling ostentation and people who should have better uses for their money, shopping for what may be one of the worst productions of WEST SIDE STORY ever seen on any stage…well, after that, Madeline has tipped the bottle a little too often and is now unavailable for coherent commentary.
odinthor
March 13th, 2010 at 12:50 pm [Reply]

FB. — Dude, you don’t have to choose!

FW. — “Knowledge” ain’t zactly what he needs, fellas. But thanks for the suffering.

GT. — “My point being, it’s easy to do complicated Math with your fingers! Look, if I hold up ten fingers…” “But two of them are thumbs!” “OK, if I hold up eight fingers and two thumbs, and 22 is fourteen more than eight, and you’re 18, so that’s eight more than ten, or ten more than eight, then, um, let x equal, er, no—maybe if you subtract two thumbs from eight fingers…” “But how can you subtract something from something when the first something isn’t part of the other something?” “True. [… awkward silence …] Drop ‘em, baby.”

MW. — Curioser and curioser!

RMMD. — Rex does have a pulse, right? OK, let’s check it: “Hey, Rex—there’s a nice-looking young man trapped in the basement!”

Positive Reinforcement Dept.

Crank. — See, B.? Funny is good, too.
Écureuil Écumant
March 13th, 2010 at 12:53 pm [Reply]

@181 commodorejohn said:

DT – Wow. I don’t think I’ve ever seen a bystander get injured in Dick Tracy before. I was kind of under the impression that the laws of its universe permitted only villains to be killed.

Innocent bystander? C’mon, don’t be a bleeding heart. Punk was a hippie.

GT – Wow. This is pretty blatant for a newspaper strip.

I especially like how she shows him in panel 2 that she’ll make his balls whirl faster than pulsars on methamphetamine.
Baka Gaijin
March 13th, 2010 at 1:05 pm [Reply]

@Poteet (#193): Take comfort in the inevitable screaming hairpulling catfight in the Women’s Department worthy of the Jerry Springer Show that turns into a rolling-on-the-floor wrestling battle royale in the main aisle whence they get run over by a ~~gigantically overweight bear-man~~ Plugger in a store supplied scooter. His basket, piled high with full of Ho Ho’s, chicken fried bacon-wrapped steak, and a 2 litre bottle of Zero Calories Sam’s Cola, almost spills its contents onto the floor.

Tragically, neither woman is killed, maimed, or crushed, living another day to annoy the frack out of the readers. The Plugger, though, almost has a coronary when he has to ~~waddle~~ walk 20 feet to the front of the store to pick up an undamaged scooter. Had this occurred back by Sporting Goods, the AED[*] would have gotten used that day.
Baka Gaijin
March 13th, 2010 at 1:19 pm [Reply]

@Baka Gaijin (#196): Whoops. Don’t call Precisiona or her sidekick on me. Change “His basket, piled high with full of Ho Ho’s…” to “His basket, piled high with Ho Ho’s…” I’m not sure if “store supplied” should be hyphenated but dammit, I just don’t care.
HAMMY THE SQUIRREL!
March 13th, 2010 at 1:19 pm [Reply]

@Baka Gaijin (#182):
OOH! OOH! BAKA!!
CAN WE THROW SNUFFY SMIF IN THERE TOO??!!
Baka Gaijin
March 13th, 2010 at 1:25 pm [Reply]

@HAMMY THE SQUIRREL! (#198): HAMMY, for you, anything. Thankfully Snuffy isn’t very large. I think I have a stock pot around her that’ll work fine. Just remember the pointy sticks! You don’t want to be fishing hillbilly chunks out of the hot melted chocolate with your fingers. Hot fingers could ruin the merlot.
Hank
March 13th, 2010 at 1:38 pm [Reply]

@zerowolf (#178): Considering that the person will finally be free of the Funky-verse, is there any death that’s really all that horrible?Sadly, that isn’t how the funkyverse operates. Death brings no sweet release, only the horrible responsibility of having to watch your exes awkwardly hit on other people while you smirk at them for eternity.
Anonymous
March 13th, 2010 at 1:43 pm [Reply]

@Baka Gaijin (#199): enough merlot, and you won’t really notice the hot fingers. ;-)
queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
March 13th, 2010 at 1:44 pm [Reply]

@Anonymous (#201): was me. dratted cookie monsters.
HAMMY THE SQUIRREL!
March 13th, 2010 at 1:53 pm [Reply]

@Baka Gaijin (#199):
I GOT THE POINTY STICKS! ENOUGH FOR EVERYONE!!!
WE CAN ALSO USE THEM FOR SELF DEFENSE!!!
Anna Nimity of the 2010 Jungle Patrol
March 13th, 2010 at 1:57 pm [Reply]

Re: Mark Trail

Q: Hey, what do you call a lawyer gone bad?

A: “Senator.”
queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
March 13th, 2010 at 2:02 pm [Reply]

@Anna Nimity of the 2010 Jungle Patrol (#204):

Q: What do you call 100 lawyers at the bottom of the ocean?

A: A good start!

(hey, it was fresher than the joke in GA today.)
Muffaroo
March 13th, 2010 at 2:04 pm [Reply]

@Poteet (#189): In many ways he was. Grand-dad invented stuff and made money off of a patent or two; he wrote (poetry, and a posthumously published memoir), he ranched, he used to buy failing farms and make them productive and sell for a profit. On the other hand, his politics were insane, even by present-day right-wing standards. But we loved him, and he was sensible on day-to-day stuff.

@Baka Gaijin (#196): I see you’re using the Greengrocer’s Apostrophe, whose function is to inform the reader that an “s” is coming next. (“Grocer supplied” would be a compound adjective, where two or more words modify a noun. These take the hyphen, except with an -ly word, e.g. “a badly drawn Cathy strip” [*].)
dreadedcandiru2
March 13th, 2010 at 2:04 pm [Reply]

Sunday UnFunnies:

ReFoob: Elly tells John to go out with his friends despite her not really wanting that to happen; even though he does check to see if she’s sincere, he ends up going and she sits and frowns.
HAMMY THE SQUIRREL!
March 13th, 2010 at 2:05 pm [Reply]

OOH!
WHAT DO YOU CALL A LAWYERS IN A LARGE SACK??

A BAG O’ NUTS!!!!
Baka Gaijin
March 13th, 2010 at 2:06 pm [Reply]

@Muffaroo (#206): Thanks. Isn’t “a badly drawn Cathy strip” redundant?
Joe Blevins
March 13th, 2010 at 2:27 pm [Reply]

A3G: “This is business, not pleasure.” For Margo, this statement does not preclude the possibility of sex.

MT: Come on, Elrod. We’re quite familiar with the pace of serial strips. Do you really have to include the image of a turtle dragging itself ponderously across the frame? That would be almost as obvious as having Mark and Cherry celebrate their next anniversary by literally beating the carcass of a horse.
Anonymous
March 13th, 2010 at 2:29 pm [Reply]

GT: Cassie “Your point being?” Steve: “Commencement..You, me, and my broom closet. Don’t wear anything under your robe.”
Thomas B.
March 13th, 2010 at 3:18 pm [Reply]

SM- Okay I am now sure that Lee and Lieber are aware of this blog, and they are purposely filling SM with non-sense and contradictions in order to keep the strips streak as float/cotw material alive. How else can you explain Peter buying a Spidey costume now when he passed on a chance to take it earlier to keep Sabretooth from knowing he was in Miami? How do you explain old man costume shop’s timely recovery from the flu? How do you explain the pants-less/panted versions of the GA? What happened to Peter’s Night at the Roxbury outfit from last Sunday? The only explanation is that Lee and Lieber plant all these things because they know the only reason people read the strip is to make fun of it right here.

Take a bow Josh, commenters. You are the sole reason this strip survives.
BigTed
March 13th, 2010 at 3:26 pm [Reply]

Sunday’s “Blondie”: Now that Blondie can no longer control her husband with her magnificent body alone, she’s located the exact combination of Caribbean zombie drugs that will turn Dag into a weekend chore machine who then falls into bed so exhausted that he forgets he’s ever been awake. No wonder he sleep-eats every night — the poor guy must be starving.
Cow
March 13th, 2010 at 3:52 pm [Reply]

Moo.
Jamus The Bartender
March 13th, 2010 at 4:00 pm [Reply]

Mark Trail: You know, a girl in a tight swimsuit might ALSO distract the Parker Brothers…..oh, hell…never mind. I’m sure you know what you’re doing.
Jamus The Bartender
March 13th, 2010 at 4:01 pm [Reply]

JP: Aston. Ask her how she takes her coffee ! Quick! Trust me on this!
Jamus The Bartender
March 13th, 2010 at 4:03 pm [Reply]

FC: Oh, dear Lord in heaven….I misread the word “peanuts” as….well…um…”penis”…..anyway, either way you look at it, FC is actually full of win today.
Jamus The Bartender
March 13th, 2010 at 4:05 pm [Reply]

Spider Man: Gonna make a prediction here. He buys the Spider Man suit, does the web slinging bit, takes the pictures, but it’s a no go because….well, Spider Man is pretty passe by this time…so, he brings back the gown and wings, the Miami public eats it up, Peter and MJ buy a condo in Miami and spend their remaining days there.
Jamus The Bartender
March 13th, 2010 at 4:06 pm [Reply]

ReFOOB: Now, Elly….I think there’s enough genetic blame in both family trees to go around here….
Jamus The Bartender
March 13th, 2010 at 4:08 pm [Reply]

Luann: Okay…yeah. I think Toni’s working in a nudie bar for extra money.
mr 12 oz can
March 13th, 2010 at 4:09 pm [Reply]

@Écureuil Écumant (#191): i thank you for reading my comments nd would reward you with the dr jeff green jacket reward but it only exists in mary worth . thanks again
Jamus The Bartender
March 13th, 2010 at 4:09 pm [Reply]

Gil Thorp: Okay. Interested.
Squid Countess
March 13th, 2010 at 4:13 pm [Reply]

@Ned Ryerson (#5): “Sweat-stiffened cap” – the most disgusting bon mots, ever. I bow to you. Also, “In the vault with the Schedule II narcotics” made me snort with laughter. Great post.
The Poster with No Name
March 13th, 2010 at 4:15 pm [Reply]

Mary Worth: Dammit, Moy and/or Giella! That’s not how you spell “curiosity”! That’s exactly the kind of slip-up that makes it look as though you just don’t care about the strip anymore! Well, that and the many weeks’ worth of strips in which the only discernible action is that of characters’ slowly working their way through platters of de-crusted, mayonnaise-on-white-bread sandwiches. Honestly, this storyline has been like Waiting for Godot with Facebook and light refreshments.
Ukulele Ike
March 13th, 2010 at 4:18 pm [Reply]

@John C Fremont (#183): Thanks for the “Ellery Queen” reference. When ARE they going to put that series out on DVD, already?
boojum
March 13th, 2010 at 4:51 pm [Reply]

A3G, 3/13:

The table lamp indicates that this is not a public gallery, but Margo’s office. I’m forever grateful to Giella for porn-blurring whatever unspeakably depraved images she decorates her inner sanctum with.

Even with such caution, he apparently went too far; in today’s strip, the veil between earth and the fires of hell has been torn, perhaps irrevocably. Abandon all hope, ye who read further.
Écureuil Écumant
March 13th, 2010 at 5:16 pm [Reply]

@224 The Poster with No Name said:

Mary Worth: Dammit, Moy and/or Giella! That’s not how you spell “curiosity”!

The inglourious basterds, they think they can murder us with misspellings. But we are the Rasputinoid avengers of bolshevik orthography.
Aviatrix
March 13th, 2010 at 5:37 pm [Reply]

MW: Ooh, ooh, please let this be the part where they discover Kurt has stolen something valuable!

@mollificent (#139): When I was a teenager, Le Château sold punk clothing. Or maybe I dressed like Dawn Weston when I was a teenager and defined everything I didn’t wear as “punk.”
Artist formerly known as Ben
March 13th, 2010 at 5:47 pm [Reply]

3/13
Missed you guys Friday. Hairy day at work. Anyways.

DT: As I predicted, En Harmonic just took a bullet from the laughable beanbag of a gangster, rousing his father’s remorse for his previous attitude. Of course given the trajectory of the bullet, he should also be feeling some seering pain in his own personal orchestra pit.

MC: Loved both the “totally worth it” and the Beetle Bailey ref.

HtH: “Hagar” might be a better strip if there were an angry woman prepared to beat down the protagonist for all his inadvisable punch lines.

M-Dawg: Dear Mr. Anderson. I like dogs, I really do. Still, this is not the kind of fanservice that I ever would have asked for. Best wishes and back to the drawing board.

Crock: Is there a joke here, or is the prospect of the lost patrol dying of thirst supposed to be enough of a payoff?

SFx: No, the real question is which fraternity came up with the “shave a cat with a straight razor while drunk” prank. And which dean do I talk to about getting them expelled?

H&J: Actually, Generic White Guy, while Herb can’t stop you from spouting off about the government, he can tell you to keep your voice down or hit the road. Capitalism cuts both ways.

MT: Mark’s powers grow at an alarming rate. Now he can just say “life preserver” and instantly Buzz is wearing one. Soon he won’t even have to lift a finger to punch bearded guys.

Popeye: Swee, Pea: Would-be grandpa killer.

A3G: It’s a good thing Margo cut Jack Davis off when she did. After “I know this is emotional for you,” I don’t think he could get much further without breaking down into hapless giggling.
Aviatrix
March 13th, 2010 at 5:47 pm [Reply]

MTLook at the first panel, the one with the giant turtle and four silhouetted figures standing on a boat dock. Which of the four is supposed to be a woman in a swimsuit?
Dewey's Coffee
March 13th, 2010 at 5:49 pm [Reply]

9CL: Dear Lieutenant: You’re not supposed to bend your wrist when you’re hitting someone. Just thought you should know. Yours truly, Dewey’s Coffee.
Artist formerly known as Ben
March 13th, 2010 at 5:52 pm [Reply]

@Jamus the Bartender (#220): Ah. That would be the “Mother is right. Of course. Mother is always right” twist.
wossname
March 13th, 2010 at 5:56 pm [Reply]

@HAMMY THE SQUIRREL! (#131): Gee, HAMMY!!!, sorry I didn’t stay up and online all night so I could’ve seen your suave come-on in a timely fashion.
HAMMY THE SQUIRREL!
March 13th, 2010 at 6:15 pm [Reply]

@wossname (#233):
SO’RIGHT!! I GOT NUTS TO SPARE!!
CARE FOR A POINTY STICK??!
BAKA GAIJIN MADE SOME CHOCOLATE FONDUE!!
queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
March 13th, 2010 at 6:17 pm [Reply]

@Jamus The Bartender (#220): cue the “Cherry Pie” video. . . .
HAMMY THE SQUIRREL!
March 13th, 2010 at 6:18 pm [Reply]

@wossname (#233):
SO’RIGHT!! I GOT NUTS TO SPARE, I DO!!
CARE FOR A POINTY STICK??!
BAKA GAIJIN MADE SOME CHOCOLATE FONDUE!!
HAMMY THE SQUIRREL!
March 13th, 2010 at 6:19 pm [Reply]

WOW! TECHNOLOGY JUST SLAPPED ME IN THE FACE!!!
ow
Baka Gaijin
March 13th, 2010 at 6:26 pm [Reply]

@HAMMY THE SQUIRREL! (#236): Yes, plenty of fondue. Bring pointy sticks everybody.
wossname
March 13th, 2010 at 6:27 pm [Reply]

@HAMMY THE SQUIRREL! (#236): Yeah, hand me a pointy stick and a glass of that merlot – but I think I’ll skip those big chunks in the fondue pot. Maybe I could dip some nuts in the chocolate instead?
HAMMY THE SQUIRREL!
March 13th, 2010 at 6:33 pm [Reply]

@wossname (#239):
NUTS WORK FOR ME!!
although Baka says to try the chunks in the little pot. they're Smifalicious
Baka Gaijin
March 13th, 2010 at 6:37 pm [Reply]

@HAMMY THE SQUIRREL! (#240): I would have said “bodacious.” Aw aw aw!
HAMMY THE SQUIRREL!
March 13th, 2010 at 6:45 pm [Reply]

@Baka Gaijin (#241):
AND… LOWEEZY APPROVED!!
Poteet
March 13th, 2010 at 6:48 pm [Reply]

S-M — Peter, if you manufacture webbing again out of thin air and wishful thinking, I am going to be seriously annoyed.
HAMMY THE SQUIRREL!
March 13th, 2010 at 6:54 pm [Reply]

@Poteet (#243): WHEEE! POTEET!!
I SAW YOU ON TEEVEE LAST NIGHT!!!
IT WAS EITHER YOU OR YOUR DOPPELGANGER!!
i swooned
Poteet
March 13th, 2010 at 6:54 pm [Reply]

MW — Wilbur has seldom looked more grotesque than he does in that second panel. Between that and the misspelling, I wish Dawn would snap and take him out with a large kitchen knife. Her subsequent adventures in the Big House would be much more interesting than the Kurt storyline, plus she’d be better-dressed.
Poteet
March 13th, 2010 at 6:59 pm [Reply]

@HAMMY THE SQUIRREL! (#244): Gee, I’m flattered. You can eat peanuts in my Squirrel-In-A-Jar feeder any time. Well, any time the other squirrels will let you.

http://www.thebirdhouseplace.com/page6.html
HAMMY THE SQUIRREL!
March 13th, 2010 at 7:03 pm [Reply]

@Poteet (#246):
IF I WERE THERE, THERE WOULD BE NO OTHER SQUIRRELS!!
ONLY YOU AND ME AND THE, THE, PON FARR!!!!!!
zerowolf
March 13th, 2010 at 7:04 pm [Reply]

@The Poster with No Name (#224): Maybe that is the way Wilbur pronounces curiosity.
zerowolf
March 13th, 2010 at 7:10 pm [Reply]

I’ve prefered to believe that ghost Lisa is a figment of Les’s imagination. Otherwise the implication that not even death can seperate one from the misery of the Funky-verse is on a level that not even Dante dared contemplate.
zerowolf
March 13th, 2010 at 7:12 pm [Reply]

@zerowolf (#249): is in reference to @Hank (#200): Wonder why the “reply” thing doesn’t always work right.
zerowolf
March 13th, 2010 at 7:17 pm [Reply]

Curtis: Well that’s better than what he usually has to suck to get $20.00
John C Fremont
March 13th, 2010 at 7:36 pm [Reply]

Squirrel in a jar!
Squirrel in a jar!
Something, something,
Squirrel in a jar!

(It’s a work in progress.)
Just Some Dumb n00b Who Knows Nothing
March 13th, 2010 at 7:38 pm [Reply]

@KarMann (#153): On January 2, Cassie told her parents she was 18 before storming out of the house. Steve Luhm graduated from Milford in 2006. Yet, this didn’t deter the Curmudgeons from making every single jailbait joke in the book, no matter how dumb it made them. That some people are figuring it out now just shows that everyone who went with the easy Chris Hansen joke were snarking for the sake of snark.

What am I saying? Nobody will read this.

9CL: So to recap:

Punching somebody because they besmirched the honor of a Burber: A-OK!

Punching Amos because he is a pretentious little twat who did everything possible to deserve it: NO! BAD!

Somebody tell me the difference between Brooke McEldowney and Stephanie Meyer again.
commodorejohn
March 13th, 2010 at 7:50 pm [Reply]

@Just Some Dumb n00b Who Knows Nothing (#253): Someone punched Amos and I missed it!? Man, that almost makes me regret having stopped following 9CL.
Écureuil Écumant
March 13th, 2010 at 8:49 pm [Reply]

@253 Just Some Dumb n00b Who Knows Nothing said:

@KarMann (#153): On January 2, Cassie told her parents she was 18 before storming out of the house. Steve Luhm graduated from Milford in 2006. Yet, this didn’t deter the Curmudgeons from making every single jailbait joke in the book, no matter how dumb it made them

Au contraire, mon cher n00b, we (I speak of the general collective of Mudges) have been well aware of this since 1/2 and were on top of it like Sarge on Beetle — as the archives will bear witness. In fact we’ve also thoroughly masticated the issue of professional educational janitorial ethics of boinking an age-appropriate student, albeit Steve is neither teacher nor coach. (Our consensus: Hit that thang.) Jailbait jokes, while they may have been made, in no way characterize the consummate perspicacity of our hive mind.

Now as to the future of this tenderly budding relationship, I for one refuse to countenance that it could possibly be consummated on a mid-Lenten Sunday. More likely there’ll be a clean cut like there was between yesterday’s and today’s Luann — which was totally emetic — and we’ll have to ascertain the outcome based on nothing more revelatory than Steve’s crisply starched goatee.
ElkMeadow
March 13th, 2010 at 8:57 pm [Reply]

@Just Some Dumb n00b Who Knows Nothing (#253):

I haven’t been following the Cassie/Steve story or commenting on it, so I’m excused.

As for the other:

Stephanie Meyer doesn’t have snobby, pretty, talking unicorns in her books. And Phoenix is a city, not a bird.
dale
March 13th, 2010 at 9:17 pm [Reply]

@Écureuil Écumant (#255):

GT

Did you just confirm that coaches are not teachers? Sounds good to me.
Where I went to high school, the coaches were gym teachers. Some even taught driver’s ed.

The real problem with the Cassie/Steve story is not age, but that Steve is on the school staff. I’m not really sure he is; but if he is, he should stay away from Cassie. When the legal shit hits the fan, it won’t matter whether she is chasing him or he is chasing her.
Thomas B.
March 13th, 2010 at 9:24 pm [Reply]

@Muffaroo (#188): Such praise from you, an established crack up, makes me feel like I’m riding the float.
Dingo, the Essence of Purity and Virtue Incarnate™
March 13th, 2010 at 9:36 pm [Reply]

I appreciate that Mary Worth skipped over the exposition and let Kurt bail before rigor mortis set in. Now, I’d like to bring that to Mark Trail. I’m afraid this story is gonna fuck us over like a Texas school board member with US history.
Ukulele Ike
March 13th, 2010 at 9:42 pm [Reply]

@Écureuil Écumant (#255): “and were on top of it like Sarge on Beetle”

Oh, my god. For the win.
Écureuil Écumant
March 13th, 2010 at 9:54 pm [Reply]

@dale (#257): Depends on the jurisdiction and the rationale. The original concept was similar to the business and military prohibitions against fraternization between superiors and subordinates, and that really applies more to teachers, principals and, yes, coaches than to janitors. Nowadays the tendency is to include all school staff, as you say. Here in DC, though, that’s not yet the case — though they’re talking about changing that, and even specifying that it applies to 19-year-olds because there are still quite a few of them in our school system.
The Ridger
March 13th, 2010 at 10:03 pm [Reply]

@dale (#257): No, they didn’t. Steve is not a coach. He’s a janitor. Now, that may well count as staff, but nobody said coaches weren’t teachers.
mollificent
March 13th, 2010 at 10:24 pm [Reply]

@Aviatrix (#228): Looks like they’ve gentrified a bit…they now have a lot of beautiful “business attire” type stuff as well as the dresses *droooool*. Just expensive enough that I can’t justify an impulse purchase, though they’re pretty reasonably priced compared to the real designer biggies.

The funny thing is, I’m NOT (I swear!) a label whore. I just get so excited when I find fabulous stuff that might actually fit me…
bourbon babe, unbuckled
March 13th, 2010 at 10:25 pm [Reply]

Why haven’t I been spending this evening reading the hilariously great comments here instead of student papers? sigh…..

SM: So Peter’s eye-poppingly amazing check is just enough to cover a cheap Spidey costume. I guess JJ really doesn’t pay him much—but I also guess that JJ pays him what he deserves.

JP: I kind of love that we get to see the Widow d’Vito, P.I., safely brunetted and ensconced in first class, already moving on to this craggy, turtlenecked, affluently named conquest.

MW: I also kind of love that Dawn has no fucking idea why anyone would want to spend time with her father unless he had to.

A3G: Gah! Bring back the blue! For the love of god, bring back the blue!

CdS: How many different things do I love about panel 2 today? I’ll start with Alice’s dance and end with the pie, just as Alice would.

MT: Mark, having already experienced a Very Special Parker Brothers Beat-Down, wants to share the joy with his new friend Buzz.
bourbon babe, unbuckled
March 13th, 2010 at 10:29 pm [Reply]

@Miss Othmar (#105): Sorry—I’ve been destroying my students’ misguided self-esteem. (Yeah, it sounds like lots of fun, but in reality? Not so much.)

@Muffaroo (#206): You are correct—and thank you for taking on the Grammatical Mantle in our absence.
queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
March 13th, 2010 at 10:39 pm [Reply]

@mollificent (#263): it you’re in it, it’s fabulous by definition.

;-)
Poteet
March 13th, 2010 at 10:42 pm [Reply]

A3G — The upper picture in the second panel looks like a mature musk thistle that was sprayed with glyphosate and run over by a tractor. And frankly, that seems like the kind of art Margo would favor.
Poteet
March 13th, 2010 at 10:47 pm [Reply]

@Poteet (#267): The second-panel artwork right behind Margo looks like a painting of the nuclear reactor at Three-Mile Island during the partial core meltdown. How appropriate.
Poteet
March 13th, 2010 at 10:49 pm [Reply]

@bourbon babe, unbuckled (#265): BWAHAHA! Can we watch? Can we watch?
bats :[
March 13th, 2010 at 10:49 pm [Reply]

@Écureuil Écumant (#191): I’m still counting on a pool party on Sunday! Sunday!
gleeb
March 13th, 2010 at 10:53 pm [Reply]

Dick: Finally! Tracy kills again!

‘bean: That’s it? What about the gun? It’s like Chester Gould said, if there’s a gun in the first act, someone needs to get shot by the end.

The Janitor and the Cager: Steve’s gotta be gay. No other explanation.

Rex: Her new skateboard is at risk. Now it will be June vs. Sarah, and God help any who come between them.

Barney Google: Perjury is Snuffy’s hobby.

Zippy the Microcephalic: A 7-10 split, “comedy”? I think we’re beginning to see the nature of your problem, Griff.
bats :[
March 13th, 2010 at 10:55 pm [Reply]

@Dingo, the Essence of Purity and Virtue Incarnate™ (#175): damn, we forgot the garbage can!
I guess it isn’t raccoon-chaining after all.
KarMann
March 13th, 2010 at 11:26 pm [Reply]

3/14 (Pi Day!) PV: Damn, not only is Prudence alive and well, she’s looking mighty fine today!
KarMann
March 13th, 2010 at 11:28 pm [Reply]

And might I add, I’m all in favour of her idea of seeking an updraft to blow her skirt up.
Artist formerly known as Ben
March 14th, 2010 at 12:27 am [Reply]

@Just Some Dumb n00b Who Knows Nothing (#253): Previously Cassie was dating a convenience store clerk, also in his twenties, who probably started doing her when she actually was jailbait. After that, Steve must look pretty good. In fact, the chief downside of his going with her is that her dad might start slapping him on the back and calling him “son” before he was ready for in-laws.
bats :[
March 14th, 2010 at 1:34 am [Reply]

Sunday! Sunday!

Okay, I’m out Edge City and Between Friends forever. Both hideous views of family life. If I want that, I’ve got FC.

FC: speaking of which, I liked this, particularly the little indecipherable baby noise.

FW: ah, sepia-toned auld photographia! For a moment, I thought they were wading through Lost Swamp.

PV: rock on, Prudence!

FOOBlite: oh, Elly, will you ever win? I guess now, with your being a saint and a martyr.

MW: crap, no pool party. Then again, would a Communist like Emma Goldman approve of a pool party?
Damn disappointing.
And boring.

Phantom: Baka Gaijin, just so you know, there’s a mime. OTOH, there are so many outlandish outfits in this Sunday’s strip, you might not notice.

RMMD: Rex…Rex? Wake up!
bourbon babe, unbuckled
March 14th, 2010 at 1:43 am [Reply]

bats :[ prompted me to look…..

MW: Is Wilbur… yawning in that final panel? “Ho-hum…. guess it’s time for a nap!” At least someone is as bored with this friggin’ plot as I am.

(And no fucking pool party.)

MT: I am disproportionately happy that the little deadly octopus is going to make quick work of the scary Australian arm. Go, Nature! Eke out your revenge, one forearm at a time!
Poteet
March 14th, 2010 at 1:47 am [Reply]

3/14 PV — This is great. Prudence has raised her hemline and level of attitude, Gawain is just a hungry pretty face, and Ig has learned to use restraint in his wooing. I’m sorry about Trollenberg, though.
Anonymous
March 14th, 2010 at 1:50 am [Reply]

Garfield: You two have been going out for years now and that topic never came up? If you don’t spend time talking than what were you doing together? I can’t imagine Jon being a secret freak in the sack/specially gifted but that would explain why Liz stays around.
Poteet
March 14th, 2010 at 1:55 am [Reply]

@bourbon babe, unbuckled (#277): The great thing about that MT arm is that one can imagine the body attached to it is someone one doesn’t like.

Did I say that out loud?
KarMann
March 14th, 2010 at 2:03 am [Reply]

@Poteet (#278): Huh? You mean Gawain and Ig were in there? Funny, I hadn’t noticed.
bourbon babe, unbuckled
March 14th, 2010 at 2:03 am [Reply]

@Poteet (#280): Oh, my dear: I’ve already started my list.
Poteet
March 14th, 2010 at 2:09 am [Reply]

3/14

RMMD — Congrats, Sarah. Now you can collect payoff from Brook AND Toots. And it shouldn’t be too hard to get something on Dad, if you keep your eyes open.

S-M — I see that the first panels of today’s strip clearly specify, again, that Arachnidork needs his wrist equipment to shoot web. So I want to know, again, how the hell he was able to do it as a half-assed angel.

As for the money he got for the photographs, the money which impressed him so much, being barely enough to pay for a cheap Spider-Man costume — well, if I liked him at all, I’d weep. Instead, I chuckle. Hahaha!
Aviatrix
March 14th, 2010 at 2:18 am [Reply]

@Poteet (#280): It’s Wilbur Weston, and he’s going to dip it in mayonnaise so he can put it in a sandwich.
Dingo, the Essence of Purity and Virtue Incarnate™
March 14th, 2010 at 2:20 am [Reply]

You know how bad a Mary Worth plot has become when you wait for Mary to show up and finally bring some action.
Poteet
March 14th, 2010 at 2:27 am [Reply]

3/14

CRANKSHAFT — I used to be a fanatic veggie gardener, and my seed catalogs always arrived much earlier, usually in January. In central Ohio, I would have ordered, received, and started seeds by mid-March.

PHANTOM — “Oh yeah? Well, big deal! I got a balloon from one of The Joker’s henchmen, so there!”
This Guy
March 14th, 2010 at 2:37 am [Reply]

3/14 FT: Delightfully nerdy, as usual, but I hope Jason doesn’t start campaigning for Sir Patrick Stewart to be canonized, because the first requirement is that the person must be dead.
Aviatrix
March 14th, 2010 at 2:46 am [Reply]

@Dingo, the Essence of Purity and Virtue Incarnate™ (#285): I’m hoping for anyone to end this. Perhaps Monday MW:
panel #1: [Weston kitchen] Wilbur eats a sandwich and whines to Dawn about missing Kurt. “Do you think he misses me?”
panel #2: The same scene, without Wilbur, with a line of bullet holes across the refrigerator and cupboards, and a similarly riddled sandwich falling out of frame.
panel #3: Kurt with Uzi. Dawn, “Well that answers that question.”
Poteet
March 14th, 2010 at 2:59 am [Reply]

3/14

DT — I appreciate this frank, detailed look at what it’s like to be a classical musician these days.

GA — It may be time to adjust Walt’s meds a little.
Artist formerly known as Ben
March 14th, 2010 at 3:21 am [Reply]

3/14

HOTC: I have to say, the tragedies Tom Batiuk throws at his characters are generally too OTT to affect me. Heart’s desperate attempt to reach out to her absentee father, on the other hand, is a special kind of sad.

DtM: Jules Feiffer lives, and he’s writing Margaret’s dialogue.

Marvin: Here we present the nudity aversion program. Part of a scared straight program for naturalists.

Blondie: I would think the owl had come from the Lost Forest, but it’s not the size of Dagwood’s couch. So I guess he’s just going nuts.

H&L: And you thought nothing more awful could happen to the blues after John Mayer discovered it.

H&J: “Then again, she didn’t use hers either. She shot her wad on punctuation.”

S-M: I’m pretty sure that when Peter explains why he blew his check on a knockoff of the costume he deliberately left in New York, she’ll still be shouting “why” as she slams her head into the wall. Or maybe that’s me.
Baka Gaijin
March 14th, 2010 at 4:56 am [Reply]

@bats :[ (#276): Thanks for the warning about The Phantom but I don’t follow it. The stripey underbriefs as outergarments is too WWF Wrestling for me.
Baka Gaijin
March 14th, 2010 at 5:18 am [Reply]

Sunday’s Strips:

Slylock Fox, 6 Differences: Someone’s gotten into the farmer’s stash box again.

One Big Happy: 20th Century Fox is optioning the answer to #2. Nina hiding in the bush is just too funny!

Mary Worth, throwaway panel: Yoo Hoo! Charterstone is sliding into a sinkhole!

Mary Worth: Someone substituted glue for mayo in Wilbur’s last sandwich. What else explains his hand stuck to his chin throughout his soliloquy?

Marvin: Marvin’s pie hole is bigger than the Diaper Genie’s hole. Marvin Mommy, you know what to do.

Curtis: Kid, you just launched a convoluted plan to delude yourself that you got attention from a male who isn’t romantic about you. In a few years you’ll be “AACKing” in bathing suit dressing rooms. Just sayin’.

Apartment 3-G: Jack is being played by a young Jimmy Cagney today.
Amateur
March 14th, 2010 at 7:45 am [Reply]

MW: “For years I agonized over Abby!”

So have we, Wilbur. So have we.
professor fate
March 14th, 2010 at 9:02 am [Reply]

MW: “I can forgive her for that” Oh just shut up and eat. Really the only thing you’ve ever really agonized over is running out of mayonaise.

FW: Nice to see Les’s maturity level so accurately portrayed. That of a whiny little child.
wossname
March 14th, 2010 at 9:14 am [Reply]

MT – OK, I want to know more about this deadly blue-ringed octopus. How exactly does it administer the poison? Does it bite you like a snake? Sting you like a jellyfish? Wait, maybe that actually says blue-rinsed octopus. In that case, maybe it whacks you over the head with its poisoned umbrella.

MW – Wait wait wait. The quote on the throwaway panel is from Emma Goldman? A known commie socialist who, if she were around today, would probably support death panels for Granny? That is so un-Charterstone.

Also, Wilbur sets new records in the self-face-groping event.

BrS – At the size GoComics shows up on my monitor, the print can be a little hard to read, which explains why I thought whathisname was talking about an environmental cow job. And Brenda asks, “Sterling Golden is a green cow artist?” I think I like it better that way. But we’ve had a cow posting in here recently, let’s ask her. Is Sterling Golden a cow artist?

OBH – win win win.

#252 John C Fremont – Why not stick with the original third line?
Squirrel in a jar
Squirrel in a jar
Lookin’ like a fool with that
Squirrel in a jar
Mordock999
March 14th, 2010 at 9:36 am [Reply]

@Jamus The Bartender (#220):

Or SOMETHING similar. I think you may be right. A year ago Toni was about to be evicted from her apartment. Now all is apparently well. A new possibly, “embarrassing” source of income?

The BAD part about THAT is, if TRUE, it will have proven the MEDDLESOME Nancy Unit Right.

Oh, and Greg? Thanks for 25 years of Luann!!!

__________________________

A Temporary STAY of EXECUTION for TJ!!!
John C Fremont
March 14th, 2010 at 9:41 am [Reply]

MW – Right hand on chin, right hand on chin, left hand on chin, right hand on chin, touch the glasses, become Wilford Brimley. So easy, even a Weston can do it.

Phantom – Nevermind the evil, scary mime. Check out that ginormous blue cell phone.

SFx – If he knocked the statue over with the chain from the swing, shouldn’t it have fallen toward the swing, not off to the side? Just asking.
wossname
March 14th, 2010 at 9:56 am [Reply]

OT, but I just have to say: You know how Baka Gaijin feels about evilscaryclowns? And how Mordock999 feels about TJ? And how Little A feels about the drawing in OBH? And how Mela feels about the song “Baby It’s Cold Outside”? Well, put all that together, and multiply it by about 100, and that’s how I feel about Daylight Saving Time. You can say it’s 1 o’clock when it’s really noon, but the sun is still going to be directly to the south. And NO YOU DO NOT HAVE AN HOUR MORE DAYLIGHT THAN YOU DID YESTERDAY!!!!
Ribinin
March 14th, 2010 at 9:56 am [Reply]

@Just Some Dumb n00b Who Knows Nothing (#253): I don’t get the impression that we worry too much about the facts when commenting.
Hi There
March 14th, 2010 at 10:09 am [Reply]

FW: And now, after the long, national nightmare known as ‘Wally Winkerbean visits the VA’…the comedy stylings of Les Moore and his dead wife, Zombie Lisa!
Baka Gaijin
March 14th, 2010 at 10:15 am [Reply]

@wossname (#298): That’s soooo American.[*] Always thinking of themselves. The rest of the world that observes Daylight Savings Time still has a couple more weeks. And yet ChattyGenes doesn’t have to put up with any of this nonsense, unless she calls someone in America or Europe.[*] I, personally, blame clowns singing “Baby It’s Cold Outside” while cavorting with TJ for this Charlie-Foxtrot.
queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
March 14th, 2010 at 10:25 am [Reply]

PV: players HATE taking advice from NPCs. Poor Trollenburg’s player, his sheet looks a bit different now, but still has Spelunking on a decent roll.

Doons: win, with implied umlauts.

PBS: ROFL. need some brain bleach, Rat?

Crankshaft: guest-strip by Rose is Rose.

HotC: awwwwwww. *sniffle*

MC: Ashley with a pet amoeba? This can’t end well.

Tank: anvilicious, but funny!
commodorejohn
March 14th, 2010 at 10:25 am [Reply]

A3G – Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome guest star Orson Welles!

Blondie – Hello, my baby, hello, my honey, hello my ragtime gal…

BrS – Brenda Starr is so very good.

Crankshaft – Okay, fine, Batiuk. Go back to the morbid and creepifying. It’s less unsettling that way.

DT – I dunno, Crimestoppers Textbook, the Predator did a fair bit of striking during the day, too.

FoxTrot – I dunno, guys, I don’t imagine he’s Catholic.

FW – Leave him, Summer. Let hypothermia take him its sweet, brain-dulling embrace. The world will be a better place for it.

JP – We better not have seen the last of her, I’ll say that much. Anyway, so long, guest artist! It was a rocky start, but you pulled off some pretty good stuff by the end of it.

Luann – This week marks Luann’s 25th year in print. It certainly was ugly, but the question is, was it anywhere near as skeevy?

MT – *glee!* Mark Trail, I love you. Now how about some dinosaurs?

MW – I’m of two minds about this. On the one hand, it’s devoid of even what Mary Worth ever has in the way of satisfactory conclusion. On the other hand, this seems like a fitting way to end a storyline about abandonment and decades-old heartbreak. But back on the one hand, this is not a strip with anywhere near the subtlety required to have done that intentionally, or to really make it work.

MC – Ashley is a talented asshole.

OBHc – I love this strip.

PBS – Shine on, you crazy pig.

Phantom – Yeah, gee, Kit, I wonder why she’s pissed? It couldn’t possibly be because you took her brother on a wild Roman Amazon adventure and left her to go see mimes. Nope, not a chance.

Pluggers – Pluggers can’t be assed to actually learn anything.

PV – Dear Prudence, won’t you come out to play? Because you’re awesome. Awesome.

RMMD – There’s an easy way out of this, Brook. Just hand over Toots to June and let her verbally abuse him for a while. By the time she’s gotten her aggression worked out, she’ll have completely forgotten about any part you played in getting the guy into her house.

SF – Ted, man, you know how much we love you here, but…dude, the only reason anybody thought the iMac looked cool was because Steve Jobs has the ability to sell anything to anyone at any time.

SM – If you look carefully at the penultimate panel, MJ’s in the processing of freeing the girls again. Damn, woman. Is it the costume thing that gets you?

Edison Lee – People? Spending money on things from other countries!? Scandalous! Christ, leave it to Edison to skip over the flagrant human-rights abuses of a tyrannical regime like the PRC and jump straight into complaining because the Chinese are getting the money that American workers deserve purely by dint of being American, apparently.
commodorejohn
March 14th, 2010 at 10:31 am [Reply]

@wossname (#295): Oddly enough, Wikipedia didn’t say, but from a quick search it looks like the blue-ringed octopus does in fact administer its venom through a bite. However, while Mark Trail makes them sound aggressive, it sounds like they’re just as shy as any other variety and only attack defensively.
zerowolf
March 14th, 2010 at 10:49 am [Reply]

MW: A quote from “Red Emma.” That explains alot. Charterstone is really a gulag and each plot line is a five year plan. Plus how else can one truely understand unless you get your meddle on?
Baka Gaijin
March 14th, 2010 at 10:55 am [Reply]

@commodorejohn (#303) on Spiderman: You don’t think Petey’s sparkling personality causes MJ to drop her drawers, do you?
gleeb
March 14th, 2010 at 11:02 am [Reply]

Lio: The zombie is eating a child’s head and he crapped on the sidewalk?

Slylock: While the fox is busy playing pocket pool and accusing rabbits, a crow is eating Max.

June vs Sarah: Rex, long dead, is turning color.

Wilbur’s Saga: Mary Worth’s quoting anarchists now?

Mark: I guess a huge ink-cloud would have made for a dull panel. Good choice, Jackelrod.

‘bean: Creepy Les, stalking his teenage daughter. Nothing new here.

Dick: Never let your child outside or he will be shot dead by Tracy.
commodorejohn
March 14th, 2010 at 11:04 am [Reply]

@Baka Gaijin (#306): Point.
Hank
March 14th, 2010 at 11:26 am [Reply]

RE: Funky. Run, Summer, RUN!
RE: Hi and Lois. Anyone else getting douche chills at the thought of Dan Ackroyd seeing this strip as a sign to make and star in a Hi and Lois movie?
RE: Spiderman. “It’s a brilliant plan, MJ. I photograph myself as Spidey in Miami. Then Sabretooth will come down here, away from NY’s sizeable superhero population, to look for me. But we’ll already be back on our way to NY, leaving him alone and on a rampage in a city with no super-powered protectors. What could POSSIBLY go wrong?”
RE: Pibgorn. Ha ha. It’s funny because he’s a sexual harasser!
bourbon babe, unbuckled
March 14th, 2010 at 11:36 am [Reply]

Bl: Blondie’s disgruntled body language in the penultimate panel says nothing more than, “How’s about for once you have a snack that would calm me down, too?”

JP: Stella and Mr. Craggy MacAffluence are in coach? Squished back there with the decidedly non-pretty people, in their Wal-Mart jeans and silk-screened t-shirts? But… but how will they get their cocktails? And how will they stretch their attractive legs? Good lord, they’ll be drinking out of plastic cups!

R&R: Unspeakable filth!

SlFox: At age 11, Jordan Hill, of Menifee, CA, has already learned the finer points of ass-kissing.

Baldo: DING DING DING DING! Congratulations, Cantu & Castellanos! You are the one millionth cartoonists to make a “cell phones make phone calls?” joke! For your prize, here’s an offer to take your well-deserved retirement!
bourbon babe, unbuckled
March 14th, 2010 at 11:42 am [Reply]

@Baka Gaijin (#292):

Charterstone is sliding into a sinkhole!

Other possible explanations:
-Charterstone has been rocked to its foundations by the totally unexpected news that Kurt is not Wilbur’s son.
-Charterstone has been rocked to its foundations by the news that Wilbur indeed only had sex once, not twice.
-Denied the opportunity to expend her Meddle Powers, Mary Worth increases in density and mass. Unless she can worm her way into another person’s problems soon, the gravitational pull within her condo unit will cause all of Charterstone–and eventually, Santa Royale and then all matter–to collapse in on itself.

@wossname (#298): Fucking “spring forward” fucking blows. (Crabby, bourbon babe?)
Baka Gaijin
March 14th, 2010 at 11:49 am [Reply]

@bourbon babe, unbuckled (#311), “Denied the..”: Oh, so THAT’s what happens to a deferred meddlegasm.
Dingo, the Essence of Purity and Virtue Incarnate™
March 14th, 2010 at 11:56 am [Reply]

So, I woke up this morning on my second day of renewed singlehood (long story), and went to Dean Booth’s Comics Time Tunnel for my Sunday funnies and read through them all. The one I loved best today, as has become usual, was Pearls Before Swine. It got me thinking about Mudflap Girl and I had to research. Special kudos have to go to the Wyoming Libraries for taking this and other bumper sticker arcania and spinning it to their purpose:

Cold Dead Fingers
Mudflap Girl
My Other Car(d)
If you can read this…

In all, the campaign garnered what it set out to accomplish: publicity. Wouldn’t it be nice if Pastis would draw a larger image of Pig that could be sold on a Curmudgeon’s tshirt?
The Ridger
March 14th, 2010 at 11:58 am [Reply]

@wossname (#298): Here’s a great idea re DST … from a Russian lolcat, no less.
Len
March 14th, 2010 at 12:21 pm [Reply]

So Dennis hates cabbage almost as much as he hates broccolli? It’s those cruciferous veggies that make you toot; Dennis hates cutting the cheese in kindergarten, and being teased for his flatulence. Wander over to Sunday’s Mark Trail, and let the Menacing One taste that delish blue-ringed octopus. (Or would I have more luck selling cephalopods to the church lady in Pirania Club?)

Drat! Now I want sushi.
zerowolf
March 14th, 2010 at 12:22 pm [Reply]

MT: Is there anything native to Australia that isn’t venomous?
bourbon babe, unbuckled
March 14th, 2010 at 12:29 pm [Reply]

@The Ridger (#314): I guess at least the Josh-Clock is accurate now for us Eastern folk.

@zerowolf (#316): When I moved to the Philippines, I had to go to a presentation on all the dangerous stuff there—everything from Communist rebels, to monitor lizards that would lock their jaws and swing their tails in order to rip your flesh off, to little seashells that held venomous critters. We called it the “What Can Kill You in the Philippines” workshop–and it was an all-day workshop.
odinthor
March 14th, 2010 at 12:40 pm [Reply]

The Meaning of Lila. — Code red! Misattributed speech balloon alert!

RMMD. — Well, June—it’s also not polite to correct people in front of others. So there.

Spidey. — Considering the level of durability of most party costumes, Peter, figure that the seams of your get-up are going to split just as you cheerfully thwip your way over the heads of the crowd from one fourth story to another. That crowd will suddenly cheer, Peter; and it won’t be because of your heroics.
queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
March 14th, 2010 at 12:51 pm [Reply]

@zerowolf (#316): The Drop Bears aren’t poisonous, they just bite your head off.
queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
March 14th, 2010 at 1:03 pm [Reply]

same with the crocodiles and the sharks off the Great Barrier Reef.
Baron Bizarre
March 14th, 2010 at 1:09 pm [Reply]

“Octopuses”?
wossname
March 14th, 2010 at 1:13 pm [Reply]

@The Ridger (#314): Brilliant! That’s one smart Russian lolcat.

BTW I see you are in Maryland – are you going to join us at Midatlanticon? There’s some discussion about it in the “meetup” discussion forum, although almost everything remains to be figured out.
bourbon babe, unbuckled
March 14th, 2010 at 1:17 pm [Reply]

@wossname (#322):

although almost everything remains to be figured out.

Except, of course, for the date and the ultra-cool, EE-designed t-shirt!
mollificent
March 14th, 2010 at 1:28 pm [Reply]

@queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#266): Aw shucks :)

@Baka Gaijin (#292) re: Curtis: You know, I used to like Chutney because I empathized with her. These days I want to tie her and Gunther up in a burlap sack and drop them into the ocean (particularly an area infested with poisonous octopuses…octopi?).

@Dingo, the Essence of Purity and Virtue Incarnate™ (#313): Sorry to hear that, Dingo. I can’t imagine you’ll stay single for long. ;) You’re far too charming and witty!

Re: DST: I’ve spent the last week or so responding to my colleagues’ moans about DST by saying chirpily, “But it’ll stay light so late!” Then I stayed up ridiculously late reading last night, and realized at 1 AM that it was actually, for all practical purposes, 2 AM. Crap.

PV: “And here are Merlin’s glowing sorcerer’s stones”…*looks at illustration*…Um. Wow. *indulges in totally adolescent fit of giggling*
compass rose
March 14th, 2010 at 1:30 pm [Reply]

@mr 12 oz can (#221):

mr 12 oz can, I look forward to reading your comments because you always have a different slant to add to the discussion. (oh, and good job on the MW dishes prediction!)
bunivasal
March 14th, 2010 at 1:38 pm [Reply]

Yes, Marmaduke requires a lawyer, for there are some dark rites even he would not stoop to.
Écureuil Écumant
March 14th, 2010 at 1:42 pm [Reply]

Little slow around here. Howzabout some lazy Sunday SQUEE!
Marion Delgado
March 14th, 2010 at 1:49 pm [Reply]

Among the many reasons Dennis is not apparently menacing is that his curmudgeon neighbor is not much of a bad role model. If the Mitchells lived next to the ‘Shaft, it’d be like a scene out of Stephen King’s “Apt Pupil.”
bourbon babe, unbuckled
March 14th, 2010 at 2:02 pm [Reply]

@Écureuil Écumant (#327): Hunh. That pretty much captures my mood today. Nicely done. (And I’m sure that’s how my students will see me when they get their essays back tomorrow.)
dreadedcandiru2
March 14th, 2010 at 2:07 pm [Reply]

Monday Spoiler:

ReFoob: We return to the almost-forgotten Contemporary Writing course that Elly pretends to be taking tomorrow; I can see an obstacle in her horizon. It varies in height from day to day and yells MAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!! at the top of its lungs; eventually, it will leave its wife and child on a rickety fire escape while it runs into a burning building to save a laptop.
Len
March 14th, 2010 at 2:15 pm [Reply]

It has been pointed out to me that today is “Pi Day” — March 14 representing 3.14… a good day to spend stuffing your “pi-hole!” Remember, pie are ROUND, but cornbread are squared. Of course, if you’re snacking in the Bumstead household, be sure to share with any baby owls that might be hanging around. Meanwhile, poor Blondie can’t seem to inspire even a nibble from her sandwich-obsessed hubby. That owlet is confusilated, having meant to go to Mark Trail’s equally ignored wife, Cherry.

Josh is still off in Texas, so’s we’re not getting a new post yet, or so methinks…
Baron Bizarre
March 14th, 2010 at 2:19 pm [Reply]

Pi Day”? Is that what’s up with the Google logo?
Écureuil Écumant
March 14th, 2010 at 2:24 pm [Reply]

Just gimme some kinda sine, girl
Woo, Woo…
TheDiva
March 14th, 2010 at 2:31 pm [Reply]

C’shaft: The only way Cranky would be smiling is if he’s imagining torching all that lush foliage and sending the cute forest animals scampering from their homes.

FW: Summer, don’t you realize what this means? You can easily outrun your father and be rid of him forever! With any luck he’ll collapse of a heart attack trying to catch up with you.

MW: So, is this going to peter out for another week, or will we move onto the next interminable story?

Zits: You have a sixteen year old and you don’t know the answer to this? My boy’s five and a half months and I’ve given up on having a spotless couch.
wossname
March 14th, 2010 at 2:32 pm [Reply]

@Écureuil Écumant (#333): Now, Écureuil, you’re going off on a tangent.
Uncle Lumpy
March 14th, 2010 at 2:46 pm [Reply]

Octopodes.
Baka Gaijin
March 14th, 2010 at 2:49 pm [Reply]

Woo hoo! See you on the new post!
The Ridger
March 14th, 2010 at 8:55 pm [Reply]

@wossname (#322): I wasn’t planning on it, because I was going to be in England on a business trip that week. But it looks like that’s being put off, so I may make it.
Ubaldo
April 10th, 2010 at 10:05 am [Reply]

The Mark Trail cartoonists must think people can take the law in their own hands.
Comic strip reader
April 10th, 2010 at 10:17 am [Reply]

If anyone took the law in their own hands like Mark Trail does they would not only endanger themselves and their associates but also face several criminal charges from tresspassing and assault. If there were actually such a thing as fashion Police then Mark Trail could also be charged with being about fifty years out of date by the equipment and clothing he shows up with, esspecially the camera he carrys around with him. By the way, didn’t they ever hear of a cell phone in Lost Forest??? The sad fact of the matter is that the story line for Mark Trails’ so-called, “adventures”, could be better written by any six year old in todays world! Time to grow up and get with the new millenium Mark! And get a damn cell phone!!!!
Real Wilderness Adventure guide
April 13th, 2010 at 9:33 am [Reply]

I’ve kept quiet long enough about the Mark Trail farce. The fact is the comic caracters portrayed in the Mark Trail comic strip are so out of touch with reality it’s pathetic. In REAL life wilderness adventures you DON’T climb a dead tree limb to spy on illegal activities. You CONTACT THE LAW ENFORCEMENT AUTHORITIES and let THEM do their job! You DO NOT take the law into your own hands!!!!!!!!! This comic strip sends a very dangerous message to enexperienced “wannabes” who could cause physical harm to themselves and others along with the environment they are tromping around in. And the diolog is obviously not very well edited since there are so many random words incorrectly highlighted in bold type. If any REAL person were to go about their work in the forests the way Mark Trail depicts they would have hurt themselves or others a long time ago and most likely been arrested on many charges, including being an IDIOT! I agree whole heartedly with the other comments that this strip does nothing for the environment except misinform enexperienced people as to how they can safely and wisely walk in the woods. And, on a personal note, after forty years of wilderness work I would suggest that the cartoonists include a satillite cell phone and GPS device in Mark Trails pockets, since he obviously has never thought of wearing even a small day-pack on his back! I enjoy the daily comics but Mark Trail is so rediculous it’s not a joke!
Real Wilderness Adventure guide
April 13th, 2010 at 9:39 am [Reply]

Amen to that!

Wake up and smell the legal implications Mark Trail before you punch out another bad guy and their MOTHER!
Montuck
April 15th, 2010 at 9:17 am [Reply]

The reason todays’ newspapers continue to carry such rediculous non-entertaining comic strips such as Mark Trail, Get Fuzzy, Close to home along with many other worthless, non-entertaining comic strips is most likely because they are in such a quandry about the loss of revenue in this new age of electronic medis coverage. The local papers simply do not have sufficient staffing to be aware of what they are doing. These days, because of electronic transfer, etc. the so-called editors for the papers’ comic section probably don’t even pay attention to what is taking place in the written content of the various comic strips they publish, not to mention the lack of artistic talent in some of the cartoonists like the Close to Home comic. Since the printed paper newspapers are on their way out at least on-line we can pick and choose which comic strip we want to look at and delete the ones we don’t care for. Too bad, I always enjoyed opening up a printed newspaper but since they don’t seem to care then why should I? Oh no, does this mean the worst cartoons like Mark Trail will be flying through cyber space for eternity?!! We need bigger delete butons!

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