More proof that cats are in league with Satan
Family Circus, 4/23/06
This may be the first time ever that I’ve appreciated the Family Circus in a non-ironic fashion. Then again, this may be the first time that the Family Circus featured the aftermath of a ghastly parody of a religious sacrament that quickly descended into child-injuring violence. My favorite aspects: the discarded bible, face down in the grass, its pages no doubt scratched to ribbons by Kittycat in a desperate attempt to escape salvation; and the dripping water and anger-produced steam emanating from the aforementioned still-unsaved feline. I am a bit curious about the transistor radio — tuned to some cheesy contemporary Christian channel, no doubt. I also think that it was overkill to use the hose and the bucket and the water already in the birdbath. They really tried to baptize the hell out of that cat.
Anyway, the only way this cartoon could have been improved would have been to dress Jeffy up like Robert Mitchum’s evil preacher from Night of the Hunter.
Luann, 4/23/06
Criminey, DeGroots, this is the ghetto-ist replacement for a TiVo ever. Join the modern age, already!
This next joke, on today’s Rex Morgan, is courtesy of Mrs. C.:
You know, for someone whose parents are a doctor and a nurse, Sarah sure is sick a lot.
Abbey the Wonderdog
April 23rd, 2006 at 4:59 pm
Now, if only Sarah had been adopted by a couple of chefs, she would be healthy as a horse.
BARK! BARK! BARK!
shamazon
April 23rd, 2006 at 5:26 pm
….and if it were Rex and June as chefs, the poor kid would weigh 200 pounds.
By the way, Abbey, where have you been? Sarah and her parents long ago lost interest in your furry behind but lots of us still care.
mooselet
April 23rd, 2006 at 5:28 pm
Oh my God, her temperature is 101???? Quick, call the ambulance and rush that child to the hospital, where the emergency room staff will laugh behind their hands and send them home with a dose of Children’s Tylenol.
This is drama?? Wake me when her temp is 105 and I can fry an egg on her forehead, ‘kay?
Bill Peschel
April 23rd, 2006 at 5:32 pm
Mooselet beat me to it. Only 101? Kids don’t go into convulsions until at least 104!
I also love how they waited until they were outside Sarah’s door to break the bad news. Don’t want to upset her by, like, telling her the truth or somethin’
Mac Thomason
April 23rd, 2006 at 5:39 pm
Wait, where’s Little Billy? Did Kittykat shred him?
captainswift
April 23rd, 2006 at 6:06 pm
Billy has what is known in some circles as a lick of sense.
Just enough to know not to dunk the cat.
april glaspie
April 23rd, 2006 at 6:11 pm
Evil preacher Jeffy? Sure, but wardrobe just wouldn’t get it. Prison ink –’L-O-V-E’ and ‘H-A-T-E’– on his knuckles, now that would be good. Dressed like the insane evangelist in Johnny Mnemonic, with a multicolored dayglo frightwig and a sign with an apocryphal reference to the Gospel of John.
And couldn’t the cat be threatening further, mortal mayhem like a combination of Gahan Wilson’s zombie Thanksgiving turkey and John Brown, and Rembrandt‘s Jesus driving out the money changers.
Ranting? Maybe. But how about legislation to force holier than thou comics to register and display only on a Whited Sepulcher and Political Hack Hypocrite Comics website so they can be quarantined and ignored when they’re all so manifestlyand deservedly left behind to wail and gnash their teeth after the Rapcha. Otherwise, how will the rest of us enjoy our new T-Birds and wine cellars?
Josh R.
April 23rd, 2006 at 6:26 pm
I like how the kiddies were trying to baptize Kittykat in the temple of it’s natural enemy. If you are going to baptize a cat, shouldn’t you do it somewhere that actually has a frame of reference for the cat? The toilet perhaps? Or, if she is like my cats, Kittycat would probably prefer whatever dive bar that the kids stole that stool from. That wooden box in the back is probably filled with bottles of cheap “sacramental” wine.
But I digress, the point is that dunking Kittykat in the birdbath to “baptize” him is like throwing Richard Simmons into a bathhouse to “cure him”. It just isn’t going to work.
Jay Nickola
April 23rd, 2006 at 6:29 pm
Some variety of Munchausen syndrome, perhaps.
beasley
April 23rd, 2006 at 6:37 pm
Mrs. “Family Circus” sure has some nice chesticles!
/just sayin’
mollyann
April 23rd, 2006 at 6:39 pm
[Long-time lurker, first-time poster, yada yada.]
I’m going to imagine that the Stars of Pain around Dolly and Jeffy are emanating from the places that were actually injured during the aborted baptism, which means the cat scratched Jeffy on the ass. Which is, of course, awesome.
Also, the RMMD coloring hacks should really start doing the walls in a color that isn’t 99% identical to that of the characters’ skin. Rex’s head, especially, looks disturbingly transparent. Then again, so very many things about him are disturbing, so I guess it fits.
Ape Lad
April 23rd, 2006 at 6:51 pm
Does it not bother anyone else that Greg Evans used the relatively large amount of space reserved for Sunday comics to tell what is ostensibly a “rest of the week” gag? From 1985?
How about a “turnoff lame comic strips featuring a hydrocephalic stripes-wearing neanderthal and his barely interesting sister” week?
Marc
April 23rd, 2006 at 7:20 pm
FC: Seriously, what was Thel doing when she didn’t see or hear them drag a humongous kitchen stool from the kitchen? And I think that the Keanes and LuAnn should go into the age of digital music/recording. Ditch the recordable casettes!
Marc
April 23rd, 2006 at 7:28 pm
My question is this: does Luann have a VCR that holds 17 tapes? Otherwise, why would she need to program the VCR for 17 shows?
Ape Lad
April 23rd, 2006 at 7:54 pm
Totally. And how long are these shows? You can fit like 8 sitcoms on a tape, if I remember correctly (it has been a while since I’ve actually had to use a vcr).
Maybe she’s a big fan of multi-evening british miniseries on PBS? (PBS as in PBS, not as in Pearls Before Swine).
Badly_Computer_Animated_Boy
April 23rd, 2006 at 8:27 pm
FC: You know, I’m sure there’s some kind of parable to drawn here regarding just desserts to religious zealots who attempt to impose their spiritual beliefs upon those of other cultures.
Tommy from Michigan
April 23rd, 2006 at 8:59 pm
Well one says “Monday 8-10″ another “Monday Late” another says “Lost” another says “Smallville”. Chick watches alot of tube.
I can see how she developed into such an interesting and complex character over the years.
OP Corduroy Shorts
April 23rd, 2006 at 9:22 pm
Don’t mess with Evans. He signs only his first name so that we’re all at an informal, best pal kind of way. He likes folk music but not the stuff that’s “too in your face” … like Jewel. He’s good-looking but in a evangelical christian kind of way and porobably spends more time than necessary on the feathering of his hair. He’s not confrontational, but you’ll always know where you stand with him. He’ll wear a sportcoat, but disdains neckties of any sort … unless he’s at an awards show where he doesn’t know anybody. His strip isn’t funny, but it will fill you with delight. He’s Evans. I’ll keep him.
Jenners
April 23rd, 2006 at 9:31 pm
For those of you that like Get Fuzzy, another fun Animals Talking strip, Pooch Cafe might be of interest. Here’s the link to today’s posting on MSNBC -> http://www.msnbc.com/comics/daily.asp?sFile=pf060423
The dogs’ main quest is to catapult all the cat’s into the sun – how could it be bad!
Jeff
April 23rd, 2006 at 9:34 pm
Shouldn’t the Danish be upset with Bil Keane over this toon – or do I have something mixed up?
AirForbes
April 23rd, 2006 at 9:37 pm
FC: I get the feeling there’s supposed to be some sort of Christian subtext to Sunday’s installment, but I’m just not up on this religious stuff to figure out what it is. Like Kitty represents the futility of trying to convert some non-Christian group, or something like that. Almost like a political cartoon. I can’t imagine why Keane, Inc. would draw this otherwise – they would go for a more heartwarming scene, like the Mom seeing the kids off out the kitchen door as they announce they are going outside “to baptize Kitty in the birdbath!” Not the comic denouement of such a senseless plan.
I never thought I’d see FC, of all strips, use a Larry the Cable guy joke: “I believe…no matter how hard you try, you can’t baptize cats.”
Ape Lad
April 23rd, 2006 at 10:03 pm
FC: the cat is wet (and may have been on fire too, hence the smoke puffs). I believe they succeeded in baptizing it, whether it liked it or not.
Also, does her statement need to be so wordy? After all, she’s just been mauled by a beloved household pet. It should read “cat. baptize. no.” We could have figured out the rest.
treedweller
April 23rd, 2006 at 10:10 pm
#19 I agree that Pooch Cafe is amusing far more often than most daily strips.
As for today’s lineup, as much as I hate to admit it, BC actually had a joke today. And it wasn’t even based in some warped version of xianity. Sure, it was the lame ant characters (have they EVER been funny?) and the joke wasn’t that good, but there was a real point–”no kids LEFT behind”, but (“butt”–heh heh) it’s a pun, see, when he turns it around to “doesn’t protect your ‘right’ behind.” I mean, sure, the kid (and I’m setting aside for a moment that it’s an ant) only has one “behind,” with two “cheeks” or “buttocks,” and corporal punishment isn’t really a laughing matter, and he probably has some kind of warped notion that he was poking fun at “the Left.” But, for Hart, this seems a real moment of lucidity, the likes of which we haven’t seen in years. Way to go, Johnny!
treedweller
April 23rd, 2006 at 10:17 pm
BTW, I just noticed the FC byline says “Jeff and Bil Keane.” Has this been going on long? I guess it’s safe to assume the torch has been passed and we can expect wacky hijinks and touching “Awww!” moments from the FC gang for decades to come. But I thought Billy filled in when Bil wasn’t available . . . what did Jeffy do to take over? OMIGOD, where IS Billy?!
roydrink
April 23rd, 2006 at 10:28 pm
Doesn’t anyone remember the website, “The Dysfunctional Family Circus”? A old FC cartoon would be posted and you had to write in the caption. It was great! Bil was a drunk old hack, Thel was a leather crack ho, and the kids had other problems… After a year or so, it got shutdown, not because Bil didn’t like it, Jeff didn’t!
Ape Lad
April 23rd, 2006 at 10:35 pm
“Billy” is Glen Keane, superstar Disney animator: http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0443855/bio
Jeff has been on the byline of the strip for quite some time now.
Ugly Kidd
April 23rd, 2006 at 11:08 pm
#10: Yeah, but she’s got six fingers on her hand.
Marc
April 24th, 2006 at 12:12 am
They Keane family should know better than to leave sitting water. West Nile Virus! Tsk Tsk.
SF: I can’t wait to see what this summer’s drama is going to be. How I miss the Kitty story arc…
Virginia
April 24th, 2006 at 12:41 am
This is sad; the Family Circus is repeating itself on its one funny joke. A few years ago, one of the daily panels had Dolly all scratched to hell, saying, “Never try to baptize a cat.” My sister and I loved it as it was the first time we had openly laughed at the Family Circus in…ever. Now they’re making it a Sunday panel. You know, Jeffy, if you’re going to rip off your dad, you may want to try a bit further back.
edgeways
April 24th, 2006 at 1:02 am
You know I don’t type this lightly, but looking at Sunday’s FOFW I’d say that the youngest clan member is going to have a hard time convincing her future husband she is a virgin, good crotch to the fire hydrant. I suppose the only good thing one can say about the w/hole affiair is that she is not male. Millions of males would be now suffering from sympathy pains right now.
Ubiq
April 24th, 2006 at 1:58 am
14-
Oddly enough, she just has thirteen tapes there, so maybe four of them are already in the VCR.
I’m guessing she’s using individual tapes for individual shows, but why not simply use a tape until it’s full and then dub each show onto it’s respective tape, which would also allow her to edit out the commercials?
Mister Nobody
April 24th, 2006 at 2:03 am
#27: Not sure what strip you’re looking at, Ugly Kid, but there are clearly only five fingers on Mrs. FC’s hand in the image above.
Mysterio
April 24th, 2006 at 2:26 am
Seeing FC here on CC re-opened a nagging question for me: Where are the other grandparents?
We see Heaven Grandpa frequently, and Grandma appears often as well-I think Grandma is HG’s widow. But where are the other two grandparents? Alive? Dead? If the latter, are they in Heaven or Hell? Why am I thinking about this?
Ubiq
April 24th, 2006 at 2:35 am
33- I think that the other set of grandparents used to appear every once in a while, but they lived pretty far away so the family had to go and visit them.
As to why they haven’t made any recent appearances… who can say? Maybe Keane got mad at his in-laws and decided to stop showing them.
I didn’t mention it earlier, but the minute I saw that Family Circus in today’s paper, I knew it was going to pop up on this site.
Mysterio
April 24th, 2006 at 3:02 am
For some reason I think Grandma and Heaven Grandpa are the mother’s parents. Am I correct in that assumption?
Happenstance
April 24th, 2006 at 4:19 am
Yes, Pooch Cafe does indeed rock. I came upon it at a good time, when Chazz was away and it was just Poncho and Carmen doing their Lockhorns imitation. Loved that. If it were up to me, Chazz would’ve never come back. (Does that make me a bad person?)
Amazing grace
Cat slashed yer face
N’scampered up th’ tree
I hope it hurt
Ya stoopid squirt
Now git away from me
“What infidel drew this caricature of Mohammed?”
“Not Me!”
“Ida Know!”
“KILL THEM!!!”
Mallard: Tinsley missed the EASTER strip? And his excuse is because he does the strips FIVE WEEKS IN ADVANCE? C’mon, Tinny–it’s called a calendar and even us dumb libburals knows how ta reads one. Maybe you’re “special” and need a sixth week mandated by the “Nanny State.” …Butthole.
It’s especially funny because (1) Easter is one of those very rare annual events where Tinny drops the venom-spitting and pretends he’s a good Christian–and he missed it; (2) he’s accidentally admitted that the “mail” he answers in the strip about “yesterday’s subject” is as phony as a Jeff Gannon interview.
…Okay, this isn’t really a comic strip–but anyone else getting this TokyoPop manga serialized in their Sunday funnies? Doesn’t it make you want to cut your wrists? It’s about The Most Spoiled Brat In The World (she wants a pet, but thinks dogs and cats are “boring”), who gets a ferret without doing ANY research WHATSOEVER beforehand.
She proceeds to let it out in the car (almost killing everyone on that stretch of highway), lies to her mother when the terrified ferret bites her, and on and on and on week after week. God, it’s like an illustrated manual on why NOT to get a ferret, ever.
If TokyoPop thinks this is a good advertisement for their books, they need to fire a few people.
Happenstance
April 24th, 2006 at 4:50 am
(I should read all the funnies before posting.)
Wow, shockers:
Luann: What, no Dirkfight? I…I’m speechless. (On the other hand, Luann’s waaaaaay too excited about doing more senior shows with her brother. It’s disturbing.)
Doonesbury: Well, we had to come to this chapter eventually. It’s just a shame Funky just did what you know is going to be the same thing, sans bloodshed.
Sally Forth: Hillary’s first dead body. Isn’t it just a little late in the game for Hillary to be learning about death? April learned about that years earlier when she got Farley kilt.
Frank Drackman
April 24th, 2006 at 5:34 am
I remember the other grandma in FC, she looked like a cross dressing Babe Ruth, I don’t remember the other grandpa though. I would have loved the see Billy at the funeral, with that little dotted line showing him trapesing throught the corpse preparation rooms and different viewing areas.
Justafoob
April 24th, 2006 at 7:14 am
Well well well…
Therese finally got a pair and walked out on Anthony.
Which is going to lead to the story line of poor Liz trying to decide between helicopter boy, Dudley Doo(ooooface)right, and mustache boy.
Just whom will she chose.
As an aside, today’s PBS is a scream.
Move out of the way Hagar.
Dave Lartigue
April 24th, 2006 at 7:31 am
I want a thermometer that releases little balloons when it’s done, like that one.
King Dogmeat
April 24th, 2006 at 7:57 am
Re #35 and #38: Cross dressing Babe Ruth was Thel’s mother. She had exactly the same helmet head hairdo that Thel used to sport before getting “modern.” I, too, cannot remember Thel’s dad. The frequently seen Grandma is Mr. Keane’s mom. Here’s how to tell. Note the head shapes. Mr. Keane’s head is a football (American, no doubt) placed on end, as if teed up to kick a field goal; his mom’s head has the same shape (as does Heaven Grandpa, Keane’s dad). Thel’s head, on the other hand, is also a football, but placed horizontally (as if it’s just been fumbled); cross dressing Babe Ruth’s head has the same shape. The kid’s heads are all horizontal footballs, with cylindrical bodies of approximately the same volume as those heads. Considering that ellipsoid is a more accurate description of Family Circus noggins, we could teach a lot of struggling college students calculus via the Family Circus, but I don’t think the strip’s cartoonist would approve unless we taught it as “creationist calculus.”
Sheila
April 24th, 2006 at 8:20 am
Mr. Keane’s mother is most notable for the obvious stick up her ass.
Meanwhile, it just clicked for me this morning that Dolly wears that same damn jumper practically every DAY. Can’t the dude draw anything else? How many little girls even dress that way anymore?
Sheila
April 24th, 2006 at 8:22 am
Oh, and I’m DELIGHTED that FBOFW is finally getting back to the bad-Anthony-marriage plot. Insert Tolstoy quote here — how does it go, something about happy families being predictable and boring, while unhappy families are idiosyncratic and interesting? DOWN with stupid Michael-and-Deanna — more Anthony and Therese, mule!
Anonymous
April 24th, 2006 at 8:49 am
All happy families resemble one another, each unhappy family is unhappy in its own way.
Leo Tolstoy
2fs
April 24th, 2006 at 9:15 am
Re today’s PBS: I don’t think it was necessarily move out of the way, Hagar – it was oh God move Hagar so I don’t have to see what I’m seeing. Vikings, as we know, lived in the terrible time before the invention of pants.
rich
April 24th, 2006 at 9:16 am
PBS worked well in today’s Boston Herald, positioned directly below Hagar (although Blondie was cancelled after last year’s big anniversary).
17: Stop, Luann! Lost is a repeat this week! You’re wasting your time!
36: I concur. Tokyo Pop/Peach Fuzz is a total waste of space. Horrible characters, printed too small to be legible, and they’re giving valuable space in the Sunday comics to a black and white strip!
King Folderol
April 24th, 2006 at 9:21 am
You know there are three reactions to Sunday’s FC:
1) The sane among us (including everyone here) who think that it’s absurd that kids, no matter how religious, would be baptizing their animals. I went to church for years as a kid and have known plenty of religious families, and I’ve never heard of this one.
2) The religious who are truly offended at this idea, as animals don’t have souls and bapitizing a heathen creature is a sacreligious waste of God’s time.
3) The religious Red State nut jobs who shook their heads and said, “Now that’s not how you baptize a cat. You’ve got to get a special pair of tongs so that the cat won’t scratch you, and make sure that the water’s been made holy by a licensed priest. What kind of half-assed religion does that heathen Bill Keane believe in anyway?”
I imagine there could be a fourth reaction of “wow, that’s just like my family”, but I think that this very small subsegment of the population has been institutionalized, and the orderlies try to keep the bad news in the newspapers away from them in the asylum.
BassoGap
April 24th, 2006 at 10:03 am
PBS – yes, I think it’s funny, it pokes fun at other comics, etc. And let’s face it, looking up Blondie’s dress would brighten just about anybody’s day. But we were all waiting for the “skewer Darby Conley” series to begin.
Beasley (#10, above) – Damn straight Thel has a great set of chesticles. That’s why she’s a starter for the Milford Milfs, along with June Morgan, Luann’s mom, Blondie, and Janis. Tony’s wife Chesty is the first off the bench, and Edda is the promising underclass(wo)man, sure to eclipse all the school scoring records by the time she’s done.
Frankie
April 24th, 2006 at 10:17 am
It’s long been a theory of mine that Keane and his children have a condition in which only one eye works. Their lack of 3-D vision causes them to render a world with no depth. I know it’s an old joke about FC, but there has to be a scientific explanation.
rich
April 24th, 2006 at 10:25 am
49: And don’t forget, only one nostril.
Sassy_Rocks
April 24th, 2006 at 10:47 am
“Tony’s wife Chesty is the first off the bench”
You mean Troy’s wife, Chesty, right? How about Toby Cameron? I’m not sure if she’s earned the m in milf but she at least deserves an honorable mention in case she has reproduced. Having said that, I’m not sure that the curmudgeonly obese piece of Scottish poop she married can hold up his end of the reproduction process if he wanted to. So if she’s really a milf, it is from a previous marriage or extra-marrital affair.
Mainspark
April 24th, 2006 at 10:56 am
RE: #51 Toby’s a CILF not MILF . . . .As in “Comic I’d Like to . . . . . . .” Further, and perhaps more importantly, I don’t believe that Toby and the Proffesor have procreated so she’s not a mother. Now June Morgan on the other hand . . .
Irina
April 24th, 2006 at 11:18 am
I think the Morgans may want to invest in a new thermometer. If we’re to believe today’s strip, Sawah’s tempertature is still going up, even though it hasn’t been inside her for the past several minutes.
Either that, or the Rex and June keep their thermostat set above 101.
Anonymous
April 24th, 2006 at 11:25 am
Today’s comics are a real wealth of poverty.
FOOB: maybe Canadian Cop and Helicopter Pilot will kill each other in a fit of jealous rage, making a perfect segue back into Foobville and the long-awaited requital of Anthony’s love, giving Liz a marriage just like her parents’. Maybe Cop will arrest ‘Copter for beating Liz in a drunken rage, and she will never forgive him (them), making the perfect segue etc. Maybe ‘Copter will crash into Cop when they’re visiting the frozen tundra to pitch woo, etc. Oh, the possibilities.
SF: How old is this kid that she can’t put the pieces together here? How attached is she to this neighbor we never see that she can’t handle the strain of his loss? When did Sally morph into a MW’ian porkifier (sooth yer pain by sitting on yer ass eating ice cream–now that’s parenting!)?
Dilbert: Seinfeld covered this one about 15 years ago, Scott.
MF: HAHAHA! That out-of-control negress is still running around whacking folks in the head! HAHAHA!
Rose: Awwwww!
Luann: All this time, I thought the “Senior Show” was a show BY seniors at the school, but now I think it is a show FOR seniors at the home. So are the oldsters being pushed up and down the runway between acts (“Mrs. Gezelter is sporting a backless gown from HMO-Med INC.”)? Whatever, that show was so uproariously fun! Even the dog looks worried. Is she going to unhinge her jaw a little farther and bite its head off?
Prickly: There’s a civil war going on in South Dakota? That “we” can’t decide if we are winning or not? I am SO out of touch with politics these days.
One Big Happy: I was a little amused in the 2nd panel when the business assoc was named Mr. Yellin, and was looking forward to the end of the strip. Then it turned out, that was the joke. It just needed a little more beating.
Abbey the Wonderdog
April 24th, 2006 at 11:32 am
Well, June is holding the thermometer and she is hot, hot, hot.
BARK! BARK! BARK!
Justafoob
April 24th, 2006 at 11:35 am
Another story arc that could take off is that Liz and Anthony hook up and plan to marry only to die in a horrible car crash in an improperly maintained Crevasse.
This would leave the baby to be raised by Chopper Boy and Dudley who are an hot couple when they have a special trip to the mountains.
tefflan
April 24th, 2006 at 12:04 pm
It hasn’t got anything to do with the cat not wanting to be baptized. Cats have a problem with anything unusual happening to them. I tried to give my cat a shave with my dad’s electric razor when I wasn’t a lot older than the FC kids. What the cat did to me was worse than what drunken boaters can do to an unsuspecting manatee. Unfortunately, since the FC kids never grow up, they’ll probably threepeat this one in the future.
tim
April 24th, 2006 at 12:07 pm
Anybody see Blondie today? Cookie’s blogging. I didn’t know Cookie had enough of a life to be worth blogging about.
DrBear
April 24th, 2006 at 12:21 pm
I just think the credited Jeff Keane is a pseudonym for Johnny Hart.
Herb Woodley
April 24th, 2006 at 12:28 pm
Cookie’s blog entry today is about the rats who live in the strip below and how they are always trying to peer through the keyhole.
King Folderol
April 24th, 2006 at 12:34 pm
#57 – That’s true about cats, but why would you baptize one? The kingdom of heaven is not for cats, and brimstone to any heathen who says otherwise!
#58 – Since when has having a life been a precursor for blogging?
grendell
April 24th, 2006 at 12:44 pm
Josh, start reading
immediately!
The last panel is priceless. Also check out Sunday’s strip.
grendell
April 24th, 2006 at 12:45 pm
Umm, ok, I’m obviously not html-savvy enough.
Just go on the link and experience the pure greatness that is Brenda Starr.
Anonymous
April 24th, 2006 at 12:57 pm
#62 whoa–that really is something. It will be a real disappointment, though, when Chef tries to burn them and realizes how hard it is to ignite olive oil. You’d think he would have known that, being a chef and all.
Dean Moriarty's Dead
April 24th, 2006 at 12:57 pm
This FC in question was especially funny to me, not because this joke was funny or anything but because I was listening to Pink Floyd’s “The Great Gig in the Sky” (the screaming part) while reading it. Just seemed to fit.
Rose
April 24th, 2006 at 1:04 pm
Luanne had a realistic-looking figure. I like it.
leathermessiah
April 24th, 2006 at 1:40 pm
The drawing in today’s Gil Thorpe wounds my soul more than usual.
Dingo
April 24th, 2006 at 1:50 pm
Badly_Computer_Animated_Boy #16:
People receive just deserts. “Just Desserts” would be the name of a bakery that likes to use a play on words for their name. Desert is the noun of the verb deserve. When someone gets their just deserts, they are getting just what they deserve.
I’m surprised the former English majors on here haven’t posted it yet.
Dingo
April 24th, 2006 at 2:02 pm
Plus, #30, I believe it would be sympathy pangs, not pains.
GotFuzzy
April 24th, 2006 at 2:06 pm
grendell, thanks for reminding me of the sheer horror of yesterday’s Brenda Starr! Now I have to start wiping the image of Miss Piggy mentioning a menage a trois out of my head again.
(DT)GT is painful, but at least Extreme Coach With a Pearl Earring’s hair is less extreme than usual. Maybe we’ll have to call him Totally Stoked Coach With a Pearl Earring. Or perhaps Amped Coach With a Pearl Earring.
Lor
April 24th, 2006 at 2:07 pm
#47: I dunno, King Folderol … We used to “play church” when I was a little girl, and I don’t think our family was especially religious. Maybe we just liked those faux-Communion-host Necco wafers.
I must admit, though, we never tried to baptize a cat.
GotFuzzy
April 24th, 2006 at 2:13 pm
Oh, and Dingo, thanks for making the desserts/deserts difference excruciatingly clear. I always knew deserts was right even if it looked odd, but I never knew why. I have to think, though, that edgeways was correct with sympathy pains. I had always heard it used in relation to men suffering along when their wife/partner/baby mama went into labor.
Dennis Jimenez
April 24th, 2006 at 2:34 pm
http://www.theonion.com/content/node/45814
Goober
April 24th, 2006 at 3:12 pm
JP: Sophie is working with al Qaeda. New CIA officer April will be forced to shoot her.
MW: Mary starts her plan to poison Kelly’s mind gainst Lou by giving his actions a sinister interpretation. In reality, it’s simply that Lou’s motto, learned from Spinal Tap, is “the bigger the cushion, the better the pushin’ uh-huh.”
MT: You really have to admire the consistency in the relentless daily re-exposition.
RM,MD: Rex’s daughter distracts him just when his new boyfriend needs him the most. (“No symptoms, eh? I don’t like the sound of that!”)
Timothy Burke
April 24th, 2006 at 3:13 pm
Wow. That Brenda Starr one is something else. Try reading back a ways to where the chef threatens her in order to get her out back, with a “knife in his pocket”, to which Brenda says, “Is that what that is?” Bondage, the butchery and consumption of pets, and double entendres: makes the gay flirtation on Rex Morgan look pretty modest by comparison.
rich
April 24th, 2006 at 3:16 pm
I was one of the ones who complained when Funky Winkerbean did a week of lame quips about the band director in the rain, and a week of pointless gags about reality television, and a week of cloying jokes about painting a mural.
Then came the previous two weeks of insipid, excruciating storylines about cancer and war. Like George Bailey in “It’s a Wonderful Life” I was shown what FW life would be like without those dopey punchlines and smirky reaction shots. This week the strip has returned to “comedy” and I am truly thankful. Unamused, but thankful.
Lor
April 24th, 2006 at 3:41 pm
#73: Very helpful, Dennis! I like the advice to make sure your cat is fully immersed, in accordance with Scripture. I guess blessing my two little guys with a drop of holy water was the weasel way out.
grendell
April 24th, 2006 at 3:45 pm
How many times does Kelly want to tell Mary that Lou “pays more attention” to her now? Didn’t we already establish that in the park bench talk right after her powerwalk breakdown, which was like 5 weeks ago?
In Brenda Starr’s Sunday strip Miss Piggy is also channeling Dr. Evil.
Sassy_Rocks
April 24th, 2006 at 4:19 pm
Lou is paying more attention to Kelly because there is more of her plumper physique to pay attention to. Lou’s motto, “the slacker the waistband, the deeper the quicksand”, or so he is told…In the real world someone would tell that snooping old biddy hag to mind her own business when she starts prying into their personal lives and asking nosy questions.
“Kelly, your husband’s actions suggest he doesn’t want you to slim down”.
“Mind your own business and leave me alone, you meddlesome busy body biotch! You are not a marriage counselor and I never asked for your advice in the first place. Now leave me alone before I get a restraining order”.
Woodrowfan
April 24th, 2006 at 4:47 pm
PBS was funny today, but aslas, in the dead tree version of the WashPost they were staring at the crossword puzzle…
AwfulArt
April 24th, 2006 at 5:29 pm
Nice to see “Out Of The Gene Pool” take a shot at the vapid Paris Hilton….
fantasy fan
April 24th, 2006 at 6:22 pm
It’s not even funny to see how lame her life is if it’s run by that many tv shows anyways. It’s sad.
AwfulArt
April 24th, 2006 at 6:25 pm
Maybe the Walker’s & the Browne’s were having a contest for most insipid strip of the day.. Sitting on the throne reading “Hagar”, “Hi & Lois” & “Beetle Bailey”, made it easy to defecate..!!
dlauthor
April 24th, 2006 at 7:41 pm
Mallard: You know, for someone who lives in the middle of nowhere, Tinsley sure seems to have a keen insight into the dangers of living in Washington, DC. I can’t imagine what Survivor, Indiana would be like. Actually, scratch that — I’ve been to Indianapolis a few times. I _know_ what it’s like.
Prickly: Yeah, stable democratic government in Iraq. That’s why whatsisname the Shi’ite just had to step down, and they haven’t had much in the way of actual protracted parliamentary sessions yet.
And here’s one that I’ve never really felt the need to mention before, as it’s usually not terribly good … but I have to today, because today’s installment is nothing short of brilliant. Ladies and gentlemen, Bliss:
… or not. I can’t find the strip anywhere online to link to. Which is a shame, because today’s actually made me laugh out loud. Oh, well.
Seamus
April 24th, 2006 at 9:29 pm
Now I have to photoshop “LOVE” and “HATE” onto Jeffy’s knuckles.
Jennifer
April 24th, 2006 at 9:42 pm
I third or fourth or whatevereth “Pooch Cafe” but must give a big ol’ shout-out to “Big Top” by Rob Harrell… brilliant. Stucco the Clown, Dusty Poodle, Wink the ex-biker circus bear… How do I love Big Top? A lot.
weiser
April 24th, 2006 at 10:01 pm
Wait ’til Miss Mary finds out Rat was looking up her slacks in my local newspaper. May take her mind of Mr. Kelly’s husband.
AirForbes
April 25th, 2006 at 12:39 am
the Family Circus is repeating itself on its one funny joke. A few years ago, one of the daily panels had Dolly all scratched to hell, saying, “Never try to baptize a cat.â€
OK, apparently Larry the Cable guy reads the family circus, not the other way around.
Len
April 25th, 2006 at 5:32 am
#23 — Not even in B.C. universe does an ant have a pair of buttocks with two cheeks. You cannot spank an ant. Sorry. Doesn’t work for me.
rich
April 25th, 2006 at 9:40 am
84: Bliss is pretty good, often quite dark and misanthropic. I wouldn’t bother with his website (harrybliss.com), it takes forever to load. Try googling “Tribune Media Services” and click on comics. Takes a few clicks to get into the archives, but they have 90 days worth once you’re there.
Josh Cohen
April 25th, 2006 at 9:59 am
RE: Luann
For those of us who can’t afford digital cable/DVR/Tivo service, or don’t want to spend the extra $15-$20 per month, using videotapes is a perfectly-acceptable solution. My wife and I run four tapes every week to the tune of about 24 hours of prime-time programming (7 of which are shows that only she watches). We do watch some TV, but the stuff we really like, we tape and watch later so we can pause it and talk about it.
Tapes are relatively cheap. $20 per year to replace the old ones. VCRs are $40-$50 at WalMart.
Plus, the gag wouldn’t work as well if she was programming a Tivo. The graphical nature of the tapes is much easier to illustrate.
Badly_Computer_Animated_Boy
April 25th, 2006 at 11:35 am
#82: Who, LuAnn or Paris Hilton?
BigJoe
April 25th, 2006 at 12:26 pm
#92 – Ha! I really thought comment #82 was talking about Paris Hilton, not Luann. Makes more sense now about Luann, although could apply to both of course.
Hysterical Woman
April 25th, 2006 at 5:25 pm
The Prickly South Dakota thing refers to the fact that SD recently banned abortion.
Stephen
April 27th, 2006 at 8:11 am
Why does Jeffy look stoned on the title masthead?
tefflan
May 2nd, 2006 at 12:04 pm
Jeffy: “Do you reject Satan?”
Cat: “Meowrrrrgghhh!!!!” Shred, tear mangle, rip.
nemoErensenuT
March 9th, 2008 at 7:00 am
I’d prefer reading in my native language, because my knowledge of your languange is no so well. But it was interesting! Look for some my links: