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They came from the frozen north

For Better Or For Worse, 5/9/06


Gil Thorp, 5/9/06

Damn, Coach, you got served! I love the fact that she closes the door just so she can deliver her cutting commentary through it. In fact, I’m loving Mrs. Raptor and her bizarre hair more and more every time she appears. Maybe if we all start writing in letters of appreciation about her, she’ll get her own strip, called Millicent Raptor Will Crush Your Soul.

Curtis, 5/9/06

Gunther … Rose Petal … Curtis … I hate to interrupt this little domestic drama, but your abuse of quotation marks today has attracted the attention of someone. What’s that you say, Finger-Quotin’ Margo?

Let that be a lesson to you!

73 responses to “They came from the frozen north”

  1. yellojkt
    May 9th, 2006 at 9:07 pm [Reply]

    Figure out where Mike’s other hand and you will understand Deanna’s expression.

  2. Non-Shannon
    May 9th, 2006 at 9:30 pm [Reply]

    Who is Gil to argue with the Divine will of Rap Dog’s mother? She’s got that boy on a leash, she does!

  3. Beasley
    May 9th, 2006 at 9:39 pm [Reply]

    Hey! I “like” to use “quotation marks”! But I use them as a literary “mechanism” rather than just using them “for the heckuv it”! So, “what say ye”?!

  4. kippetje2000
    May 9th, 2006 at 9:49 pm [Reply]

    does mike have some sort of rash around his mouth in panel 4? and the idea of him applying the “shocker” to Deanna makes me slightly woozy. and not in the good way. Sweet Mad Zombie Reagan.

  5. Justafoob
    May 9th, 2006 at 9:58 pm [Reply]

    More Saints, please.

    Get to work Mike.

    Deanna doesn’t need to complain because all she really has to do is lie there. Mike will be done in under a minute.

  6. mumbles
    May 9th, 2006 at 10:21 pm [Reply]

    Bit of advice for Deana: Lie back and think of FOOB.

    Seriously, we’ve been hearing inferences for a while about this poor sick baby, and these two are knocking boots in the next room? My sympathy is for theKelfoobs downstairs, who will wear themselves out banging the ceiling with their old-people’s canes for the forty-five seconds this will take.

    Josh if you start a Mrs. Raptor petition for her own strip, I will join. She could be the anti-Mary Worth. “Face it, chubba, you’re fat and your ugly and all the power walks in the world won’t change you.” “Gimme $20 for my swan.” “Hey Wilbur, I could write a better advice strip than you, and I’m a soul-crushing succubus.” Two tons of fun!

  7. Irina
    May 9th, 2006 at 10:34 pm [Reply]

    Sweet Mad Zombie Reagan … sounds like something Bucky would say in Get Fuzzy …

  8. Bill Peschel
    May 9th, 2006 at 10:38 pm [Reply]

    Why is Rose Petal cursing herself in the 3rd panel?

  9. Jim Anderson
    May 9th, 2006 at 11:11 pm [Reply]

    Going along with what yellojkt said, did anyone else notice the strange disappearance of the pacifier?

  10. mooselet
    May 9th, 2006 at 11:17 pm [Reply]

    Mike and Deanna… it’s just icky. Icky, icky dirty. Who thinks about sex when your kid is sick? Especially as we’re getting this big build-up about how the spawn is sicker more often than other kids. Just EEEEWWWWW

  11. TDB
    May 9th, 2006 at 11:28 pm [Reply]

    Who is the man
    that would kick his niece in the can?
    Can you dig it?

    They say this cat Gunther is a bad mother-
    I’m talkin’ ’bout Gunther.

    *apologies to Isaac Hayes

  12. RBF-at-home
    May 9th, 2006 at 11:28 pm [Reply]

    Agree mooselet – what kinda jerk gets turned on when his baby is still sick but is sleeping momentarily?

  13. RBF-at-home
    May 9th, 2006 at 11:30 pm [Reply]

    LOL TDB!

  14. RBF-at-home
    May 9th, 2006 at 11:34 pm [Reply]

    kudos to Ferd for COTW, great job!

  15. Sharkbait
    May 10th, 2006 at 12:06 am [Reply]

    The look on Deanna’s face makes me think that Mike will not get his 15 seconds of fame tonight. And if Zombie Reagan drops by looking for brains to eat, he’ll be out of luck too.

    Mike Patterson’s life is a living hell. His children are squalling and/or sickly uncontrolled brats. His obnoxious mother-in-law has either moved in, or is over there so often that she might as well. And the Kelpfroths bang on his floor night and day (the floor of the Kelpfroth’s apartment must be covered with several inches of dislodged plaster by now, mixed with broom handle splinters and cigar butts). Mike probably hasn’t seen his wife naked for a year or more, and if he ever does, he will have to peel away layers of stickers to see anything interesting.

    If Mike should overcome all of these obstacles, the inevitable result will be another pregnancy, and a descent into yet a deeper level of hell. And that’s if he “gets lucky”.

  16. loudfan
    May 10th, 2006 at 12:16 am [Reply]

    Does Rose Petal think any old skank can marry Flavor Flav? First, she’d need to audition for “Flavor of Love II,” and then pass all of Flav’s tests — helping out at a kid’s birthday party, doing a striptease for him behind a screen, going out with him for a romantic dinner at his favorite restaurant, Red Lobster…

    OK, I probably shouldn’t admit in public that I was totally hooked on “Flavor of Love.”

  17. kippetje2000
    May 10th, 2006 at 12:17 am [Reply]

    I’m not a doctor or anything, but seems to me, if Mike read the paper at all, (or this site) he’d know that the cure for a sick baby is ice cream. RMMD is the bad mother…..stuff yer mouth.

  18. Happenstance
    May 10th, 2006 at 2:08 am [Reply]

    For Worse And For Worserer is taking the Baby Blues road:

    (1) Have a kid.
    (2) Suffer incessantly because of it, taking your frustration out on your spouse whenever possible.
    (3) Repeat.

    You know that, were this real life, the unseen fifth panel in the strip above would show Deanna shoving Mike away, bellowing obscenities. She’s exhausted, grimy, and feels terrible, Mike. I know your just trying to buck up her spirits, but it sounds like–and I waited for Josh’s interpretation to back me up here–you’re trying to get into her robe.

    My prediction: Old Man Kelpfarts’ cigars are either making the kid sick, or are going to burn the place down, with or without fatalities. (It would be right up Lynn’s alley to have Deanna screaming in horror as Mike attempts to rescue her babies, while Mrs. Kelpfart stands beside her, complaining bitterly that no one cares about her future now that her husband is toast.)

    Luann: I once said some very bad things here about Mrs. DeGroot. Tonight, I take it all back. (Greg Evans is still a shriveled dink in my book, though. Long way to go before I recant that.)

    Get Fuzzy: I love Whitey (oh ha ha ha), and I hope he is a recurring character. “Do you have 42?” is now much Favorite Punchline Of All Time.

  19. Debt On
    May 10th, 2006 at 2:53 am [Reply]

    man… how do you manage to find so much sexual innuendo in the comics? first the Phantom and now For Better or for Worse… where are the legions of angry letter writers who complain about religious references in the Far Side???

  20. onomatopoetic
    May 10th, 2006 at 4:40 am [Reply]

    I wonder which boobs Josh finds more strange and disturbing: Mamma Zits or Jessica Simpson?

  21. edward
    May 10th, 2006 at 5:16 am [Reply]

    I know Flavor Flav. I have worked with Flavor Flav. I consider Flavor Flav my friend. And YOU, madam, are no Bride of Flav.

    (In fact, many of them would rather SWITCH…than marry you)…

  22. tefflan
    May 10th, 2006 at 5:34 am [Reply]

    Doctor: “I’m sorry, Mike. Your wife is in intensive care, in a coma, and on life support…”

    Mike: “Oh my God! Uh, doc, can you tell me if we’ve got her in a private room, or what…?”

  23. Firegoat
    May 10th, 2006 at 5:51 am [Reply]

    Okay, I was going to scoff at the whole Robin dying idea…. but after today’s strip, I think you’ve got it. Robin will die of AIDS transmitted to him by his mommy from her skankalicious days pre sweet zombie Reagan groping.

  24. Justafoob
    May 10th, 2006 at 6:50 am [Reply]

    5/10 FBOFW finds Mike rolling over and laying all the post-coital guilt onto Deanna.

    Yeah, Robin gets sick all the time, you better take time off work to take care of him. I am much too busy in the attic to come down and lift a finger.

    Robin is sick because of something the Kelpfroths did. Count on it.

  25. GotFuzzy
    May 10th, 2006 at 7:19 am [Reply]

    I know this has been mentioned in other threads, but if widdle Robin is getting one illness after another, why has this never cropped up before the couple of oblique references in recent April/Lizardbreath emails? Not that I am wishing we had seen week after week of colicky baby minutia, but this has conveniently come out of nowhere.

    And I am onboard with the Mama Rap-Dog strip, but I do believe her first name is Jolene, the name so trailer-park fabulous it is the title to a Dolly Parton classic.

  26. Zorba the Geek
    May 10th, 2006 at 7:52 am [Reply]

    To those of you who predicted that Robin is sick because of Old Man Kelpforth’s cigar smoke, I refer you to this, from the American Academy of Otolaryngology website: “Exposure to ETS [Environmental Tobacco Smoke, or secondhand smoke] increases both the number of ear infections a child will experience, and the duration of the illness. Inhaled smoke irritates the eustachian tube, which connects the back of the nose with the middle ear. This causes swelling and obstruction which interferes with pressure equalization in the middle ear, leading to pain, fluid and infection.”

    Deanna’s a pharmacist, for crying out loud. It’s true they don’t go to medical school, but they take physiology, biochemistry, and other similar courses. You’d think she could figure this one out (or do a web search, the way I just did). And speaking of being a pharmacist- you’d also think she could score some birth control pills, and not have had her two children so close together.

  27. dimestore lipstick
    May 10th, 2006 at 8:17 am [Reply]

    In today’s A3G, Tommie’s “perfect” friend Lucy is exhibiting signs of a clinical depression.

    And drinking ink.

    I wonder–is this plot going to turn out to be about mood disorders, or inkaholism?

  28. Anonymous
    May 10th, 2006 at 8:32 am [Reply]

    Do inkaholics go to II?

  29. yellojkt
    May 10th, 2006 at 9:05 am [Reply]

    Robin’s cough is another storyline being telegraphed from Mount Foob itself. Deanna doesn’t work for the money, she needs the access to controlled substances.

    The only way to cure Robin will be for the whole clan to move into Maison Elly where she can give the proper daily care to young neglected Robin while Deanna steals pseudoephedrine so Weed and Mike can finally get the meth lab they’ve always dreamed of off the ground.

  30. Britbike
    May 10th, 2006 at 9:08 am [Reply]

    Funny, I didn’t read Mike’s comment as sexual–just sort of a reassuring “Even when you think you look like crap, you look good to me” kind of thing. I thought her expression was weird in response. So, either he IS a skeeze, or she’s assuming he’s a skeeze. Weird marriage.

  31. each note music blog
    May 10th, 2006 at 9:16 am [Reply]

    The For Better or one kinda freaks me out a bit, but having children and knowing how things can get when they are sick, its actually kinda true, scary to see it show up in a strip though…

  32. Jives
    May 10th, 2006 at 9:22 am [Reply]

    Gil takes rejection well. As the door slams in his face, he maintains a pleasant smile on his brick-like face. Then he trots on home to read Anne Landers or whatever.

    In fact, crazy old Milly is the only person in Milford who doesn’t look like they have a face full of botox. I guess that’s why we’re all irresistably attracted to her.

  33. z
    May 10th, 2006 at 9:25 am [Reply]

    Mrs. “Raptor”? And that cranial crest? Gaaaah!! Shape-shifting reptiles!! Run Gil run!!!

  34. Hogenmogen
    May 10th, 2006 at 9:32 am [Reply]

    Phantom 5/10/06: Phantom Walker* is writing with a very bitter look on his face. After a wacky jungle camping trip with his kids, he imagines their future is in a city with desk jobs. Were the whiny brats THAT bad?

    *For Ghost-who-power-walks

  35. Sourbelly
    May 10th, 2006 at 9:39 am [Reply]

    Good to see Gil get pwned. That was the first time I ever used pwned in a sentence. Felt good.

  36. J Shiggity
    May 10th, 2006 at 10:19 am [Reply]

    Am I the only person on this site who reads Andy Capp? I never see any commentary on that strip. I just wanted to point out that Andy is the Mac Daddy. He sleeps all day, then goes out drinking, hits on barmaids, never does any work, and complains when his wife doesn’t wipe his ass. Meanwhile she supports him and takes care of him in every way possible. I mean the guy is a genius. Sure the jokes aren’t original or funny, like, ever, but I still find it very amusing.

  37. Anonymous
    May 10th, 2006 at 10:30 am [Reply]

    Andy Who?

  38. Ferd Berfel
    May 10th, 2006 at 10:43 am [Reply]

    9CL – … the blight of happy children. Thank you Brooke McEldowney, you just made my year.

    A3G – A masters degree in poetry? That will really help your job prospects, Lucy. And I’m sure your manager will agree that the fry-o-lator grease trap maintenance manual would work much better in iambic pentameter.

    DT – Is B.O. wearing a canoe on his head? This story is so weird that Chester Gould might be actually ghost-writing it.

    FBOW – Sorry Deanna. As a mother, you’ll never measure up to St. Elly. So murder your family now and burn down the apartment building. Tell the cops the dogs told you to do it.

    FW – Lisa, the only thing to do now is go home, draw a warm bath, get in it, slit your wrists, and bleed out. Don’t forget; cut up the forearm, not across. You’ll be doing yourself, the strip, and its readers a great favor.

    (DT)GT – Thank you non-Shannon! I now realise that Ma Raptor is in fact Devine and not the Rankin-Bass Heat Miser. Brent says “Bring the good stuff”? Is he talking about pitching or pies?

    Phantom – I dunno about this Skull Cave idea. A giant Phantom head carved into the side of a mountain? That’s not exactly hidden, that’s more like something Doctor Evil would do.

    RMMD – Behind every blackmailing loser is a butch skank in capri pants with a beauty mark. Wow! Wilson & Nolan, my heart goes pitter-pat! What I’d give to see her, June, and Chesty locked up in a women’s prison, made to wear tight, sweaty overalls, and forced to wrestle with the sadistic guards…

    Preteena – Okay, going by the way they’re drawn, Teena’s Mom and Grandmom are chic, 21st Century women with great personal flair and an unerring sense of style. So why did they buy Teena a dress that matches Zippy the Pinhead’s frock?

    RBF-at-home: Thank you! I hadn’t noticed the COTW until you pointed it out. I’d thought it was still that superb “more cornholing” remark. Believe me, that COTW put several ounces of Earl Grey through my sinuses!

  39. Smitty Smedlap
    May 10th, 2006 at 11:17 am [Reply]

    Deanna needs to go borrow Sally Forth’s strap-on and tell Mikey that if he wants any tonight, it’s his turn to act as the “Ted.”

  40. Pelagius
    May 10th, 2006 at 11:37 am [Reply]

    Speaking of soulless succubi, check out Gloria’s death stare over at Judge Parker?

  41. Moss_Moses
    May 10th, 2006 at 12:05 pm [Reply]

    The colorizing on the vacant Gloria death stare is messed up. Gloria is supposed to be Mexican hispanic but has blue eyes. She has been drawn differently as of about one year ago. Her Devoesque hairstyle has been toned down a bit to make her less Abbey-like and her face looks slightly different. Some day I’ll get a life…

  42. Library Cat
    May 10th, 2006 at 12:09 pm [Reply]


    Thank you Zorba for referencing that passage. Of course Deanna knows that. But Lynn wants to teach us all something, so she turns her characters into the idiots she believes us to be. Teaching by showing, it is the FOOB way. The FOOBs are North America’s Most Beloved Cartoon Family, we have much to learn from them.

    Now, I have a question about the Phantom. What are his special powers? Benicillin’s excellent rap a couple of threads ago brought up the Billy Zane movie edition of the Phantom and it got me thinking about the time I watched it. Needless to say, we were all drunk, and trying to figure out what the Phantom’s special powers are besides shooting a gun and riding a horse. Which is not so special and could be done in street clothes. Or a cowboy outfit, whatever, but no need of purple spandex implying that you are a superhero, when you could just as well be a mounted policeman. Before finding CC a year or so ago, I had no idea the strip was still going on or that anyone followed it. I was hoping the secret would come out on it’s own through reading CC posts and reading the strip. But, no. I could google but I have a feeling that your answers will be far more enlightening and entertaining.

  43. tefflan
    May 10th, 2006 at 12:35 pm [Reply]

    I haven’t figured out if Ms Raptor is Brent’s transgender dad, or if Brent really doesn’ t have a mother, but has some kind of weird “Psycho” thing going on that we won’t know about until he shows up at the locker room showers, in drag, with a butcher knife.

  44. frippy
    May 10th, 2006 at 12:43 pm [Reply]

    Maybe if we all start writing in letters of appreciation about her, she’ll get her own strip, called Millicent Raptor Will Crush Your Soul.

    Okay. I’m never reading this blog while eating lunch again! Laughing and swallowing at the same time doesn’t work.

    What part of “I’m exhausted and grimy, and I feel terrible” does Michael not understand? When I say things like “I’m exhausted and grimy, and I feel terrible” to my SO right before we go to bed, that’s a not-so-indecipherable code for, “If you’re horny, you’re on your own tonight.” I’m sure I’m not the only person who does it, either.

  45. Carlye
    May 10th, 2006 at 12:46 pm [Reply]

    #30: Thank you, not everyone has their minds in the gutter. I, too, only saw this as a term of reassurance — she feels like crap, and he’s telling her he still loves her. Her expression is one of “I’m about to fall on my face in exhaustion”, not a reaction to something he’s doing.

  46. Lassie
    May 10th, 2006 at 12:51 pm [Reply]

    #36 – I, too, have always had a sneaking fondness for Andy Capp, appalling as he is. That strip hasn’t been carried in our paper for years, but I loved it, reminded me of Eastenders.

  47. Josh
    May 10th, 2006 at 12:59 pm [Reply]

    Library Cat (#42) — like Batman, the Phantom has no “super” powers, but unlike Bataman, he can’t even muster a panoply of cool gadgets or a young lover/sidekick. He mainly gets by on his strength and cunning, his teams of pygmy “helpers”, and the colonialist legend that he and his whole lineage of frauds have built up over the centuries.


  48. Justafoob
    May 10th, 2006 at 1:29 pm [Reply]

    First, there was Farley’s tree.

    What is going to be next:
    a) Gwampa Foobs bush


    b) Widdle Robin’s Engineer’s Hat


    c) Officer Dooright’s bun in Liz’s oven.

    If you chose c) you know that the story arc now is going to be Doo is going to impregnate Liz, then get in a shoot-out with some crazed helicopter pilot who keeps buzzing the school. Both Doo and Warren will die. Which will leave Liz to go back to the Big Smoke to marry Granthony and they will raise each other’s bastard children.

  49. Schlimmerkerl
    May 10th, 2006 at 1:59 pm [Reply]

    Does Mike have a ponytail?

  50. Hogenmogen
    May 10th, 2006 at 2:29 pm [Reply]

    Millicent Raptor Will Crush Your Soul:

    Billy: We’re goin’ to a party an’ eatin’ cake!
    Millicent Raptor: Your head is the size of a watermelon, and God hates kids who leave off the last letter of every other word! (slams door)
    Billy: Waaaahhh! Dolly!! That’s an evil woman!
    Millicent (from behind door): Ha ha ha ha!

    Brad (from Luann): I’m in love with a really hot chick! Things are great!
    Millicent Raptor: She’s two timing you with a thug, and a badly drawn one at that. Look at you, anyway. Not too bright, not too good looking, not a schmoozer. Hell, even my loser son is a better athlete than you. Why would she want a nobody like you?
    Brad: Wow, I never thought of it like that. Thanks for bringing me down to Earth, Millicent!
    Millicent Raptor: All in a day’s work. Ha ha ha!

    Sweet Mad Zombie Reagan: I ripped off a couple of nitwits and made my quota!
    Millicent Raptor: You’ve been dead for years, you deal in lies, and you kill innocents!
    Sweet Mad Zombie Reagan: Can I have one of those Doritos from your dress?
    Millicent Raptor: You’re posessed by a turban wearing overlord who controls your every move! Are you such a moron that you don’t see that?
    Sweet Mad Zombie Reagan: Zombies have no souls to crush, Millie! Ha ha ha!
    Millicent Raptor: Nooooooo!!

  51. Library Cat
    May 10th, 2006 at 2:31 pm [Reply]

    Thank you Josh! I was right, the explanation was more enertaining coming from you. Pygmies and cunning, I’m halfway to Phantomhood.

  52. Marc
    May 10th, 2006 at 2:49 pm [Reply]

    I think Mary Worth has some sort of telepathy. She always has a knack for calling people when they’re relationships are in the gutter. I like Kel’s hesistation, and pure, flat-out lying. “N-No, this isn’t a bad time.” I would say “DAMNIT HAG, NO TIME IS GOOD TIME!” *SLAMS PHONE*

  53. Marc
    May 10th, 2006 at 2:56 pm [Reply]

    And on a sidenote, Marmaduke today is disturbing. The look on his face…

    Sorry for my mispellings in the last post, I can’t type without my glasses :)

  54. rich
    May 10th, 2006 at 3:19 pm [Reply]

    I was glad to see this Curtis strip spotlighted – an excellent display of Billingsley’s storytelling skills. (Sorry, haters, but I find Curtis to be consistently one of the better daily gag strips.) I love how in panel 3 he suddenly cuts to the niece sitting in the gutter, then panel 4 fills in the blanks by showing Gunther massaging his foot.

    30: Trouble is, Mike’s not saying “You look good to me”, he’s saying “You feel good to me” as he, er, feels her. Well, at least that panel confirms who Mewedith inherited her creepy harelip from.

  55. MotoMike
    May 10th, 2006 at 3:55 pm [Reply]

    Regarding Liz in FBOFW: wasn’t there some sort of foreshadowing a couple of weeks ago where somebody told her his dream of her flying off into the sky? Anybody remember?

  56. Hogenmogen
    May 10th, 2006 at 4:08 pm [Reply]

    #55, yes, Mike, and as we all know, ALL dreams, legends and predictions must come true in comics and sitcoms. Even when Jan Brady insists that the Monkeys will play the high school dance on Friday night. If some two bit carnival act forecasts that a character will find herself when a tiger dances on the water, then it’s going to happen in some form or another. It’s a federal law enacted sometime in the 1920′s, I think.

  57. lilybdcsa
    May 10th, 2006 at 4:10 pm [Reply]

    Then what about all those Gilligan’s Island dream episodes. Wasn’t there one where the Skipper dressed up as the fairy godmother?

  58. Badly_Computer_Animated_Boy
    May 10th, 2006 at 4:27 pm [Reply]

    Mike looks like Jason Bateman in that last panel. So now I’m thinking, who should play the Pattersons in the “FBOFW” movie that all of North America is (apparently) dying for?

    Elly = Jane Curtin
    John = Ted Danson
    Mike = see above
    Liz = Alicia Silverstone
    April = One of the Duff sisters but who cares?
    Anthony = Topher Grace

  59. Hank Kimble
    May 10th, 2006 at 4:52 pm [Reply]

    39: I am very amused, but that’s a visual I’d rather not have. Apparently, St. Mike is smoking the same stuff I used to. After doing that for years, the only way to erase the visual you gave, is to see June at the beach. Sorry Frippy, but guys who have been with Mary Jane all night, after the snacks are all gone, there’s only one other thing to think about.

  60. Hank Kimble
    May 10th, 2006 at 4:58 pm [Reply]

    Sorry Frippy, I’ve been hanging out with Andy Capp. I so misunderstood what SO was. I get it now. You’ve been told to do the He-bop too.

  61. Zorba the Geek
    May 10th, 2006 at 5:41 pm [Reply]

    If the Kelpforths don’t like the noise of the Patterson family above them, and if he smokes and smoke rises to the Patterson’s apartment, and if Mrs. Lovey Whatshername can’t evict the Kelpforths- why doesn’t Lovey try to persuade the Kelpforths and the Pattersons to switch apartments? No more noise overhead for the Kelpforths, and (I would think) very much less cigar smoke in the Patterson apartment (of course, the apartment would have to be fumigated to get rid of the smell). Problems solved. Of course, nothing this simple would ever happen in this strip.

  62. Young Man Gezelter
    May 10th, 2006 at 5:54 pm [Reply]

    Young Robin Patterson — Yet another tragic victim of the Canadian Socialized healthcare system.

    Will he live to go to university?

    Or will he be in hospital?

    Stay tuned, eh!

  63. SNF
    May 10th, 2006 at 5:57 pm [Reply]

    Apartment… fumigated… to get rid of smoke…

    You know, it just seems like there’s something not quite right about that but I can’t put my finger on it.

  64. Zorba the Geek
    May 10th, 2006 at 6:22 pm [Reply]

    Technically, you’re right, SNF- the term is used to describe getting rid of bugs and other vermin. The archaic meaning of the word, however, is “to perfume.” The apartment will need lots and lots of Lysol, air freshener, and a throrough cleaning. (On the other hand, if “fumigate” means get rid of vermin- I guess the Kelpforths and the Pattersons both qualify on that score.)

  65. Schteve
    May 10th, 2006 at 6:49 pm [Reply]

    Does anyone else here have that nightmare where Mary Worth phones you up and you find yourself saying “I’m glad you called… can we talk?”

  66. Howland Owl
    May 10th, 2006 at 7:02 pm [Reply]

    61: I hate that I know this, but the young Pattersons already lived in the lower apartment when they first moved in. When they had the first kid (or maybe it was the second), they needed more room and were anguishing over what to do, when Lovey said the much larger upstairs unit was soon to be available, and she would rent it to them for the same rent they were already paying, just so she wouldn’t lose such perfect tenants. Awwwwwww!

    And then the Kelpfroths moved in downstairs.

  67. Marc
    May 10th, 2006 at 7:22 pm [Reply]

    65– I reccomend a good shrink. A very good one. Even me, one of the few, VERY FEW, Mary Worth fanatics, had not had dreams where she calls me in the middle of the night to offer me light brown apple strudel and beige milk.

  68. 2fs
    May 10th, 2006 at 10:24 pm [Reply]

    #20: Weird. For amusement, look at the second picture from the top: I swear, her left breast is shaped exactly like…a giant nose. Somewhere, there is one weird plastic surgeon…

  69. Mibbitmaker
    May 11th, 2006 at 1:30 am [Reply]

    Talking to Raptor-mom is like talking to a door? He IS talking to a door. It’s a talking door! MT’s got giant animals, DTGT gets a door.

  70. David V. Matthews
    May 11th, 2006 at 8:54 am [Reply]

    They Came IN the Frozen North, you mean. Or…He Came in Her Hot Tight Canadian Cootch. Or…She Came on His Huge Throbbing Canadian Man-Tool. Or…Anthony and Larwence Reenacted Brokeback Mountain on Pay-Per-View.

  71. Irina
    May 11th, 2006 at 9:36 am [Reply]

    All the subtlety of a falling anvil, DVM. You get a lot of girls with those lines?

    If you’re gonna be bawdy, at least do it with a modicum of finesse.

  72. David V. Matthews
    May 11th, 2006 at 2:35 pm [Reply]

    Subtlety? Finesse? On the INTERNET?

    I should have had Mr. Kelpfroth and that cigarillo-smoking guy who hangs around outside the Hummel store go–oh-what’s the word?–roadside.

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