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Love and death, Part 2

Funky Winkerbean, 6/25/06

I know that cancer is a tragic and serious illness, and affects the lives of its victims and their loved ones in many ways, large and small … but this, in a nutshell, is why Funky Winkerbean is the single most depressing comic in the newspaper today.

Mary Worth, 6/25/06

This, on the other hand, is pure God-damned comedy gold. Passing over the mention of the always snicker-worthy “Bum Boat,” I have to say up front and right now that if Jeff gives Mary her walking papers this week, it will make up for the last two lame-o storylines, and then some. Bonus points if she spirals downward into a pit of alcoholic despair.

Extra hilarious aspects of today’s strip:

  • Mary prattles on about how she has to dress up because Jeff really wants to go to this nice restaurant, but he’s apparently going to show up in a minty green sports jacket. Maybe he figures that now that he’s won the Masters, he’ll be so busy fighting off golf groupies that he won’t have time for Mary’s meddling.
  • Mary’s Chaterstone condo is all at a crazy angle in the first panel, like she’s some sinister supervillain in the ’60s Batman TV show. Which, by right, she ought to be.
  • Jeff has a framed picture of Mary that he talks to, or at least that he thought-balloons too. I’ll bet that picture’s heard a lot of sullen, drunken abuse over the years, followed by even more drunken pleading for forgiveness.

Family Circus, 6/25/06

OK, one Family Circus featuring horrifying sibling dynamics, a multi-armed Jeffy attempting to fly, and Bette Midler lyrics? Perhaps attributable to a lapse of judgement, or too much booze. But two? That’s a cry for help, is what that is.

92 responses to “Love and death, Part 2”

  1. Frank Drackman, edited by Josh
    June 25th, 2006 at 7:53 pm [Reply]

    Sorry, Frank, but perhaps you didn’t get the memo about not posting first post just to post first post. Now I must humiliate you before the world by publically lecturing you not to do that.

    To make up for that, check out this awesome bit of art submitted by a reader last year:

    The Cocktail!

    Josh

  2. Jnickola
    June 25th, 2006 at 7:57 pm [Reply]

    “PLAYGROUND”????!!!!

  3. Frank Drackman
    June 25th, 2006 at 7:58 pm [Reply]

    Funky Winkerbean:Wow, I didn’t realize that was a chick at first,,need to get the gay porno background playin…Mary Worth: I’ve always hated anyone who says “Dressy” or “Dressier”, Love the Batman Villain reference…MW could be the “Meddler”. FC Jeffys got the damn leg warmers on again,,he should be dancing to “What Feeling”

  4. roydrink
    June 25th, 2006 at 8:01 pm [Reply]

    What the hey is that on the wall behind Jeff as he looks at Mary’s picture? Some sort of modern art? It goes great with the magenta curtains and yellow walls, but the tacky old dresser and mirror have got to go! Or at least Jeff does.

  5. Ubiq
    June 25th, 2006 at 8:09 pm [Reply]

    Those two Family Circuses would make more sense if the later one had come first. Of course, Jeffy forgetting what happened last time could easily be explained away by a concussion while Billy’s annoyance is not that Jeffy’s leaping around like an idiot, but that he’s not leaping off high ground like last time. Billy wanted a death-defying leap off the roof, not hopping around in a weird heart-shaped pattern. He has too many siblings as is and this, his latest attempt to rid himself of one, has failed miserably.

    On another note, I seem to recall Dave Barry’s Bad Songs Book describing the “Wind Beneath My Wings” as being that farting noise people can make with their armpits.

  6. AwfulArt
    June 25th, 2006 at 8:43 pm [Reply]

    “Opus” for once is good today. Saw it in paper. Not up on Comics Com yet. Will be worth checking out..

  7. Dilcue
    June 25th, 2006 at 8:58 pm [Reply]

    Having the same “joke” twice within a little over a year is just like Bil resubmitting a thirty-year old Family Circus and labeling it as “classic.”

    This just means “classic,” much like “joke,” are interchageable words to Bil… both snonymous for “crap.”

  8. treedweIler
    June 25th, 2006 at 9:22 pm [Reply]

    BC: yes, it’s just another tired sermon disguised as “humorous” poetry by the pegleg guy. What I like about it is, for anyone lacking cultural reference to complete the little prayer at the end, it describes a dark, depressing world. Oh, wait, I just forced myself to read panels 6 & 7. It’s the same old hit-you-over-the-head schlock it always is.

    Lockhrns: “Living with Leroy is like having a full moon all month long.” HUH?

    FC: Ahh, how magical. We are witnessing the first fledgling dotted-line journey of little Jeffy (note the clever symbolism of a bird learning to fly). Where will he go? Billy’s covered the swings, the neighbor’s tree, the backyard swings, and all that . . . hmm, maybe Jeff’ll go to the pawn shop, then to the playground for a dotted-line shooting spree. Yeah, magical.

  9. TDB
    June 25th, 2006 at 9:30 pm [Reply]

    “once the chemo starts…this playground will be closed for repairs.”

    No comic strip with a name like FUNKY WINKERBEAN should ever contain that kind of dialogue.

  10. mdrew
    June 25th, 2006 at 9:33 pm [Reply]

    Jeff’s sort of squatting (!?) there by the bed, with Mary’s picture in one hand and his jacket in the other…
    Maybe he keeps them under the bed?

  11. treedweller
    June 25th, 2006 at 9:53 pm [Reply]

    re: my earlier FC post

    Don’t forget the swings!

  12. adb
    June 25th, 2006 at 10:28 pm [Reply]

    That Funky Winkerbean comic just creeped the crap out of me.

    What.

    The.

    Hell?!!??!

  13. adb
    June 25th, 2006 at 10:29 pm [Reply]

    “Funky Winkerbean became a hardcore sex comic so gradually, I didn’t notice at all!”

  14. BigJoe
    June 25th, 2006 at 10:35 pm [Reply]

    #6 – I didn’t think Opus was that great. There have been various “hind lick maneuver” jokes going around the internet for at least a year. Seemed rather lazy.

  15. Other_Sally
    June 25th, 2006 at 10:48 pm [Reply]

    I actually really like both the art and the dialogue from what I see of Funky Winterbean. But I agree, its name seems to suit it not at all. The art and subject matter appear to be more in line with modern comic-novels.

  16. Benicillin
    June 25th, 2006 at 10:51 pm [Reply]

    Why is “Funky” going to make out with James Vanderbeek…?

  17. Marc
    June 25th, 2006 at 11:02 pm [Reply]

    MW: Jeff is leaving the country!! I didn’t think the sex offender laws were so strict! I think the award for the most screwed up face goes to Mary, in today’s strip. I also like how such a fancy restaurant has 70′s globe lights.

  18. captainswift
    June 25th, 2006 at 11:06 pm [Reply]

    Ah, how I miss the Funky Winkerbean of my youth, with its band candy jokes, and occasional Course Catalog strips where they made jokes at the expense of high school course names.

    Maudlin just doesn’t suit this former cornball comic.

  19. NotThatGuy
    June 25th, 2006 at 11:13 pm [Reply]

    Jeff’s got Mary’s framed photo in one hand, about to toss it into the trash, but who is in the other photo, on the dresser next to the lamp?

  20. Debt On
    June 26th, 2006 at 5:09 am [Reply]

    Damn, Jeffy! Quit fallin for that!

  21. Frank Drackman
    June 26th, 2006 at 5:48 am [Reply]

    FC: in that creepy silouette of Grandma it looks like shes sitting on one of those hospital bedside commodes.

  22. roydrink
    June 26th, 2006 at 6:18 am [Reply]

    Mary’s stealing thought (or actual) dialog from the Phantom!

    “!?” or in its variant form, “?!”

    How is that pronounced anyway?

  23. Krazy Kat
    June 26th, 2006 at 7:55 am [Reply]

    Funky Winkerbean is not a comic…
    It’s a Depressic.

    By the way, long time reader, first time poster, love the blog Josh. Keeps me going.

  24. jess a.
    June 26th, 2006 at 8:01 am [Reply]

    Is it just me, or is TDIET extra confusing today? Can the cartoonist not spell in German (“vie gates”? I think you mean “wie gehts”…), or is he doing that for comic effect? (That spelling of “skool” is so “Billy’s taking over the strip for Daddy”.) And is it supposed to be one of those “OH YEAH” moments because Junior’s parents are actually German? And if so, how is this one of those slice of life things that everyone will get? And why isn’t Junior’s textbook telling him what that ultra-simple Spanish means?

    I guess the bigger question is why do I even read this comic every day in the first place? Do I enjoy the feeling of rage? This is too many questions for a Monday morning….

  25. Chris
    June 26th, 2006 at 8:12 am [Reply]

    Sunday’s RMMD had a serious Salt ‘n’ Pepper investigative team, and presumably Dr. Ex-Con’s prints have been taken!

    Foobistan today: I smell a 3-way!

    But the biggest news is that Judge Parker actually has Judge Parker! Alert the media!

  26. Smitty Q. Smedlap
    June 26th, 2006 at 8:20 am [Reply]

    #23 — Krazy Kat gets my vote for best first post ever. That’s COTW material.

    Dr. Jeff is headed to Thailand, where his preferred kind of love may not be quite legal, but it’s not exactly discouraged, either.

  27. Analyzer
    June 26th, 2006 at 8:26 am [Reply]

    My favorite crap-ass artwork in this Mary Worth is the terrible perspective on Jeff’s window, which is not even close to flush with the rest of the wall.

    As for The Family Circus, this is unforgivable. That song already makes me want to coat the universe with my vomit. That the Keanes enjoy it so much that they wrote TWO comics about it makes me yearn for their deaths.

  28. MaryAnnTheRest
    June 26th, 2006 at 8:49 am [Reply]

    Monday B.C.: Super inappropriate quote mark alert! Hart’s got a lot of nerve mentioning a “hard sell”. He’s got a “talking dinosaur” reading the “Bible”.

  29. dlauthor
    June 26th, 2006 at 9:10 am [Reply]

    25: … and the three-way smells like pemmican.

  30. Grendell
    June 26th, 2006 at 9:48 am [Reply]

    #24: I think Zigmunt’s parents are just germanophiles posing as Germans, collecting nazi memorabilia and all. That explains their weird use of German accent and phrases. “Ja, bitte…”? Even their son’s name hasn’t got a usual German spelling, that looks more like Dutch, ouch, what a faux pas.

  31. bootsybooks
    June 26th, 2006 at 10:04 am [Reply]

    How does one pronounce exclamation marks in a thought bubble? Spidey and Chatu are both doing it today, but I think Chatu has an accent.

  32. Dark Star
    June 26th, 2006 at 10:26 am [Reply]

    That chick in FW already looks like a man. I can’t imagine what “it” will look like when the chemo takes all the hair.

  33. BigJoe
    June 26th, 2006 at 10:27 am [Reply]

    FC: I know people have accused this strip of being out of touch with modern life, but holy crap. Rock/paper/scissors is considered a new game in the FC universe!

    http://www.chron.com/apps/comics/showComick.mpl?date=20060626&name=Family_Circus

  34. jonnya
    June 26th, 2006 at 10:28 am [Reply]

    I posted rather late in the game yesterday, but I figured I might be so bold as to re-post because I wanted everyone to know that Lynn hired me to work on some new “cutting edge” Foobimations for her strip. Come see our first “collaboration”

    3.35 mb quicktime. Let it load up, it goes a little slow)

    http://acebonestudios.com/pages/foob.html

  35. GotFuzzy
    June 26th, 2006 at 10:31 am [Reply]

    #8:
    It took me awhile to figure out, but I guess that Leroy does not shave much, or immediately sprouts a 5 o’clock shadow, so every day is like living with a werewolf. Any day that a Lockhorns makes me stop and think is a sad, sad day indeed.

    So do we have a firm date of when FOOB shuts down for good? Because unless we shift away from Mtigawhatnow soon it might make me as angry as the Lockhorns does. First we have laughter at the expense of abject poverty on the rez, then we have a blantant ass-grab, then Lizardbreath turns the joy of old friends catching up into mental whine that she is not the center of everything, then it’s back to Paul getting all handsy with her. Ick ick ick!

  36. tefflan
    June 26th, 2006 at 10:41 am [Reply]

    I can’t figure out if Funky’s friend is a Vulcan or a Romulan.

  37. mere cog in the machine
    June 26th, 2006 at 10:47 am [Reply]

    “I never get tired of eating at the bumboat.” Definately t-shirt-worthy. Create your own obscene accompanying artwork. Extra credit for including the meddling old bat herself in sick, humiliating poses.

  38. tefflan
    June 26th, 2006 at 11:00 am [Reply]

    You’ve heard the expression, “I never get tired of eating at the Y.” The “bumboat” is the same thing. You understand now? Got it? Bumboat is just another way of saying “eating at the Y,” okay? We can’t track Mary Worth all of the time. She might be a bumboat inspector. She might work for the FDA. She probably walks around, yelling, “Drop ‘em! Bumboat inspector!” just to see if people will actually do it. She has the stare of a box turtle. You know, that primitive, “I want to bite you where you live” type look. I don’t think I’d like her looking at my bumboat. No, I don’t think I’d like that one little bit.

  39. Fred P.
    June 26th, 2006 at 11:01 am [Reply]

    I love the clenched fist, the expression of seething anger. Oh, yes, Jeffy’s got violence in store! I think Billy’s gonna teach that little twerp a lesson about jumping around like… like, well, like someone that jumps around like a retard. Even if Grandma was within hearing range, I don’t think she could save him from the ass whuppery to come!

  40. Badly_Computer_Animated_Boy
    June 26th, 2006 at 11:06 am [Reply]

    #9 – I can’t think of any instance where I’d want to hear that line of dialogue.

    Unrelated: I was wondering if any obsessive compulsives out there have a list of all the variations of Mtigwaki that have appeared here? I’m not sure I’ve ever seen the same one used twice.

  41. Woodrowfan
    June 26th, 2006 at 11:22 am [Reply]

    Jeffy has become Vishnu, the destroyer of worlds..

  42. Albatross
    June 26th, 2006 at 11:39 am [Reply]

    Every sentence in Mary Worth ends in an exclamation point! Unless it ends in a question mark? The same is true for Mark Trail! What’s wrong with using periods? If every sentence in my post ended in an exclamation point I would look like a crazy person!

    For years I have used visual gymnastics in order to avoid ever reading the B.C. comics that appear in my paper. They are just Jack Chick comics with cavemen.

  43. Fence Post Frank
    June 26th, 2006 at 11:41 am [Reply]

    Jeff: I am leaving the country!

    Mary: WHAT! You can’t leave until I say so! It’s not over until I say it’s over. Go home and get back in the closet! NOW!

    Jeff: Yes dear! Anything you say, dear!

    Mary: Where’s that waitress! I need a drink!

  44. brendan
    June 26th, 2006 at 11:48 am [Reply]

    I always thought “eating at the bumboat” was a euphemism for analingus.

    Who knew Mary Worth had an ass fetish? Lynn Johnston, obviously, but I shudder to think of anal antics at charterstone.

  45. dlauthor
    June 26th, 2006 at 11:59 am [Reply]

    Another T-shirt idea:

    “I got a Hind Lick at the bumboat.”

    Featuring Opus and Mary Worth.

  46. kostia
    June 26th, 2006 at 12:00 pm [Reply]

    MW: I don’t understand why Jeff was getting out his green Master’s blazer to wear, but went to dinner in electric blue. Surely electric blue is over by now.

    Also, it took me a Really Long Time to figure out which couple was Jeff and Mary in the first panel today. The art is not good enough, the characters not recognizable enough, to show two other sets of swingin’ seniors and have the dialogue coming from a CLOSED WINDOW.

  47. kostia
    June 26th, 2006 at 12:01 pm [Reply]

    Also, Jonnya (#34)? I cannot look away. That part where her eyes keep falling out is like something out of a Raoul Duke acid trip.

  48. Abbey the Wonderdog
    June 26th, 2006 at 12:08 pm [Reply]

    “What ELSE do you want to tell me, Troy?” sighed Chesty.

    “I am wearing your underwear, darling.”

    BARK! BARK! BARK!

  49. Jives
    June 26th, 2006 at 12:17 pm [Reply]

    Panel 1 of FC:
    That crooked finger, that sillhouetted formation of inquisitional rage. It’s obvious how psychotically obsessed the Keane family has become with wind and wings. Gramma probably wanders the house’s darkened hallways shrieking those lyrics as the wind howls in the night sky.

    #34:

    I wanted everyone to know that Lynn hired me to work on some new “cutting edge” Foobimations for her strip. Come see our first “collaboration”

    How wonderfully bizarre! now do this for FW and when I see it I will be filled with a macabre marionette-like lust that will consume my soul.

  50. jonnya
    June 26th, 2006 at 12:33 pm [Reply]

    Just got of the phone with Johnny Hart! He, myself and JC ( not necessarily in that order) are going to “collaborate” on some Biblemationsâ„¢ together. Turns out I am employable after all! My fortunes are turning! Ca-ching

    http://acebonestudios.com/pages/bc.html

  51. Concerned Citizen
    June 26th, 2006 at 12:37 pm [Reply]

    #41 – Uh…I’m thinking you mean Siva. The arms, the dancing. It would be particulary tasty if subsequent images of Grandpa in heaven had elephant headed gods, blue gods and so on. Grandma seems to have one of those senior ejection system chairs and if she’s not careful Billy will get his eye poked out.

    Hmmm…Billy with an eyepatch, Hindu deities. A definite improvement.

  52. JEdens
    June 26th, 2006 at 12:38 pm [Reply]

    #8: Lockhrns: “Living with Leroy is like having a full moon all month long.” HUH?

    I really hope that ‘having a full moon’ isn’t being used as a euphemism for menstruation …

  53. Other_Sally
    June 26th, 2006 at 12:47 pm [Reply]

    24: Wow, this TDIET takes the cake. From what I understand, it’s actually mocking the fact that a kid from a non-English speaking family would try to take another language, rather than just taking the easy way out by studying the language his parents speak at home!

    Damn those overachieving Germans! Don’t they realize one foreign language is already un-American?

  54. Kimberly
    June 26th, 2006 at 12:53 pm [Reply]

    #24 – And is it just me, or is it kind of offensive that we’re apparently meant to roll our eyes at the kid not taking the easy way out? Kids today, actually taking an opportunity to learn something new…

    #41 – Nitpicking, but I think it’s Shiva the destroyer, not Vishnu.

  55. dlauthor
    June 26th, 2006 at 12:56 pm [Reply]

    Today’s FC sets a new level of weirdness in how the dialogue is handled. I’ve seen this hideous strip mix in-the-frame dialogue with subtitled dialogue before, but it’s always been two different people talking. Now it just seems like one of Dolly’s other personalities (let’s call him Horace) came forward while she was talking. Either that, or she’s only thinking the second half of her dialogue, and we’re somehow privy to it, omniscient observers that we are.

    Has no one actually taught Jeffy Keane how to write cartoons? I mean, I know Dad probably couldn’t drag himself away from the drool-cup long enough these days, but surely Jeff could have picked it up somewhere along the line.

  56. Dennis Jimenez
    June 26th, 2006 at 1:06 pm [Reply]

    I wonder if Lynn Johnston’s lackeys could add a foobimatronic element to mon-ma-tron’s masterpiece?

    http://home.earthlink.net/~clearingmycloset/Pluggers_edit.gif

  57. Cory
    June 26th, 2006 at 1:07 pm [Reply]

    I just sort of assumed the bumboat was one of those hotspots for hobo gatherings.

  58. AppleGirl
    June 26th, 2006 at 1:07 pm [Reply]

    #34 – Words cannot describe the laughter I experienced! I’ll just say that it was that rare snorting, choking type of laughing here. Those butts! Great job, it’s too funny!

  59. Frank Drackman
    June 26th, 2006 at 1:45 pm [Reply]

    Josh, thanks for ruining the one time I was first to your comments, I was so excited I didn’t want to type my sage observations before someother sap beat me, he who hesitates mas********.

  60. Josh
    June 26th, 2006 at 2:02 pm [Reply]

    Sorry Frank, but “Don’t post ‘First Post’ just for the sake of posting ‘First Post’” is one of my iron-clad posting and discussion policies. There was a point where the first few comments on every post on the blog were all “FIRST POST!!!” followed by squabbling over who was “really” first. It’s annoying, and the only way to stop it is to zap such posts without prejudice.

    jf

  61. Morgan
    June 26th, 2006 at 2:06 pm [Reply]

    Does anyone know what Elizabeth is packing in today’s (Monday’s) strip? Is it a label maker? A small movie projector? Some Canadian thing?

  62. Morgan
    June 26th, 2006 at 2:07 pm [Reply]

    Elizabeth in FBOFW, of course.

  63. Chet McCord, Wildlife Defender
    June 26th, 2006 at 2:15 pm [Reply]

    I was having trouble with that, but convinced myself it was a hair dryer. Since then, my day has gone smoothly enough.

  64. Anonymous
    June 26th, 2006 at 2:22 pm [Reply]

    It appears that she just dropped her packing tape gun… or else she packed her packing tape gun, which begs the question of how she will seal that box.

  65. Dennis Jimenez
    June 26th, 2006 at 2:23 pm [Reply]

    I’ll resist the urge to claim it is some sort of sex toy and go out on a limb that it is one of those commercial packing tape dispenser thingamajiggies.

  66. Morgan
    June 26th, 2006 at 2:38 pm [Reply]

    I have to agree that it’s a packing tape dealie.

  67. Benicillin
    June 26th, 2006 at 2:44 pm [Reply]

    Don’t post first post
    don’t post first post
    the first post is the worst post
    whether first least or first most
    never post first post
    never post first post

    — to the tune of the “Nair Wears Shorts Shorts” jingle.

  68. MossMoses
    June 26th, 2006 at 3:04 pm [Reply]

    Why not tape the two of them up together? That would make Suds DooRight even closer to Lizardbreath and hopefully even shut up their treacle. Somewhere back in Manners 101 there was a brief mention of not clutching other female ass in the presence of one’s girlfriend/wife. That little feel that Dooright “copped” offcially dooms the Suds/Lizardbreath relationship (although it may play itself out in slow, agonizing fashion) and opens the door for that emasculated, mustachioed Werners Syndrome pansy Granthony to make his passion play.

  69. MotoMike
    June 26th, 2006 at 3:13 pm [Reply]

    Thanks, Josh, for noticing Sunday’s FW. I literally had to close my eyes in thinking a combination of ewww, TMI, and horror at the phrase,”This playground will be closed for repairs”.
    Luckily, the next comic on the page was Get Fuzzy. Since we have not one but two infernal cats and a dog, I sometimes read them Get Fuzzy and they reacted perfectly; the cats were all “Yes … and when exactly is the next feeding?” and the dog looked at me as if to say,”God, that’s the most wonderful thing I’ve ever heard! You rock!”. I really don’t know why we put up with the frickin’ “what have you done for me lately” felines – if I wanted a warm fat furry pillow I’d put a fake fur pillowcase on a hot water bottle – at least it doesn’t have claws, and would stick around for ten minutes.
    So seeing Darby skewer Bucky – or, even better, seeing Bucky skewer himself – daily is a pleasure.

  70. MotoMike
    June 26th, 2006 at 3:16 pm [Reply]

    By the way, as a part-time pianist I get to play that song on occasion by request. I cut the saccharine content by thinking to myself at the end of the chorus,”…and you were the hair beneath my wings”. FWIW.

  71. jonnya
    June 26th, 2006 at 3:21 pm [Reply]

    56- No way any lackey of any stripe could improve on such a “master”piece, but in a simliar “vein” I offer :

    http://acebonestudios.com/pages/pluggers.html

    Warning : Extremely tasteless. NC17

    (3.35 mb. let her “load”)

  72. Pantsman
    June 26th, 2006 at 3:36 pm [Reply]

    Today’s FC…Perhaps Dolly has multiple personalities, thus the need for two different voices? Or maybe she’s just possessed by a demon (who’s as big of an idiot as she is apparently.)

    Speaking of Johnny Hart being off his meds, (OK you weren’t speaking of it, but I was…I’m weird like that.), I’ve created three new “Better B.C.” mashups:

    http://www.jasonabeattie.com/betterbc.html

  73. AppleGirl
    June 26th, 2006 at 4:25 pm [Reply]

    #72 – BC mashups are hysterical!

  74. AppleGirl
    June 26th, 2006 at 4:26 pm [Reply]

    #71 – Yes… tasteless, but necessary!

  75. Hysterical Woman
    June 26th, 2006 at 5:03 pm [Reply]

    Panel 8 of MW: “…For five seconds! Yeehaw!”

  76. Hank Kimble
    June 26th, 2006 at 5:50 pm [Reply]

    Okay, I don’t understand. . .Why would someone eat at the “Bum Boat” when people are worried about how close their toothbrush is next to the toilet? Is there a hydrogen peroxide in the “Fleet Surprise!?” or is that ?!

  77. MossMoses
    June 26th, 2006 at 5:54 pm [Reply]

    One has to wonder about Doc Jeff’s secrecy. He’s all packed up and leaving the country yet won’t tell Mary Worth about his tirp until dinner of the night before the trip. Of course in Mary Worth time his trip may still be several weeks off.

    If he’s finally severing all ties with the frigid old biddy hag, that is a good career move. If he’s just going to exchange more treacly platitudes over dinner at La Rosa and propose to her yet again, that means he is more desperate and pathetic than ever.

  78. Anon
    June 26th, 2006 at 6:02 pm [Reply]

    Did anyone read yesterday’s Shoe? Are they allowed to talk about porn in the Sunday funny pages?

  79. Frank Drackman
    June 26th, 2006 at 6:58 pm [Reply]

    I think Dr. Jeffs goin over to Germany to partake in some World Cup action and sample some of the 80,000 hookers that are there to service the fans. That and a side trip to Amsterdam to check out some of the Hash Bars. He’ll come back an insane dope fiend and hook up with Rita .

  80. Islamorada Girl
    June 26th, 2006 at 7:40 pm [Reply]

    A bumboat is a small skift that comes alongside big ships in tropical ports, offering trinkets, fruit and food for sale. What this has to do with a one star marina restaurant that you just know smells like day- old fried conch, I don’t know.

    But I do think it’s a good thing Jeff is leaving town one step ahead of the law. Oh, sure he’ll tell the Meddlin’ One he’s going off to serve the sick and the hungry, but we’ll know it’s because he neglected to post his current residence on the sex offender’s registry.

  81. Rob_Wilco
    June 26th, 2006 at 7:50 pm [Reply]

    Uhhhh……Why is Funky all about sex lately? I mean, I really don’t enjoy watching comic charaters give eachother bedroom eyes!

    Holy crap!

  82. GodWithFire
    June 26th, 2006 at 8:08 pm [Reply]

    I’ve never really followed Funky Winkerbean. I recall one being taped over the console at my college radio station, circa 1981; Funky was playing “air guitar,” but some wag had drawn a bong into his hands. It was amusing. That was the last I recalled of the strip. So when the blonde Lolita showed up earlier this week, I said “My, things have changed.” Then this Sunday’s strip appeared, for all intense and purposes, to be a gay seduction. It was only later that I discovered the seductor was a seductress.

    So, things haven’t changed THAT much…

  83. Fred P.
    June 26th, 2006 at 8:08 pm [Reply]

    Speaking of sex offenders, I seriously got in the mail today a post card informing me that a sex offender moved in down the street. I know he’s a creep and everything, but I still feel kinda bad for the poor guy. I mean,how embarrassing. The picture they used is just HORRIBLE.

  84. 2fs
    June 26th, 2006 at 8:47 pm [Reply]

    #71: Hate to say it, but it looks like our passenger is actually orally enamored of the vehicle’s stick-shift, judging from her position. Of course, that works better with the punchline: the air put in motion by her bobbing hair will cool him off. Or something.

  85. jonnya
    June 26th, 2006 at 8:49 pm [Reply]

    Turns out Doc Jeff will miss others besides Mary. Can you blame him?

    http://acebonestudios.com/pages/maarygo.html

  86. jonnya
    June 26th, 2006 at 8:54 pm [Reply]

    84- Like many Pluggers, I think maybe this Plugger leans to the right, you know?

  87. That Guy
    June 26th, 2006 at 9:24 pm [Reply]

    Why didn’t the composers of “Wind Beneath My Wings” get credit THIS time the way they did the last time?

    Join me in a hunger strike until credit due is given!

  88. Rohmie
    June 27th, 2006 at 2:01 am [Reply]

    [Homer Simpson voice:]

    Mmmmm. Cancer sex …

  89. missb
    June 27th, 2006 at 3:14 am [Reply]

    … All the comments about Lisa’s manliness in FW just reminds me that they were married on Halloween. Dressed as Batman and Robin.

    Just a thought.

  90. The Nincompoop
    June 27th, 2006 at 8:18 am [Reply]

    FW must be seeing a drop in its circulation so Bautik is pulling out another cancer story to stay “relevant.” This strip is not drawn well enough to be serious and not funny enough to be comic. It’s just sad.

  91. michael
    June 27th, 2006 at 9:50 am [Reply]

    Speaking of wind beneath things, check out the Patterson chick farting in panel 3 of today’s FBOW. I guess all couples get to that comfort level eventually, but still seemed a little casual. I suspect she takes after her mother in that regard.

  92. Preacher Feature
    June 27th, 2006 at 11:26 pm [Reply]

    Doesn’t EVERYONE have a Platitude Spewing Granny with no eyeballs? Or kids that come up only to the parents’ knees? Or a dead grampa who wears a white robe and Jethro Bodine-style rope belt and lives on top of a cloud? Hard to understand why ANYONE can’t relate to Fumbly Circuits.

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