“Gina?!!” “Neighborhood?!!” “Wait?!!” “Is?!!”
Apartment 3-G, 8/6/06
I think it’s pretty clear that Tommie’s going to get her mind blown, over and over, until she begs to never ever get a storyline of her own again. I admit that it’s pretty shocking that a woman in her late twenties might call a man in his early fifties by his first name — if you live in 1954. Otherwise, I got nothing on Tommie’s total bafflement. Maybe she’s devastated that her longtime partner in sexless chastity has a non-platonic date with someone. Whatever it is, I hope we’re treated to a whole week of Tommie word-ballooning random words in quotation marks and out of context.
Mary Worth, 8/6/06
“I’m pretty open-mined, but I don’t find Aldo’s brand of stalking amusing at all!” Personally, I find Mary, that champion of suburban condo conformity, describing herself as “open minded” to be quite amusing. Tell the ladies at the downtown women’s shelter all about your open-mindedness, why don’t ya?
Since I actually am open minded, I find Aldo’s brand of humor freakin’ hilarious. Particularly risible is his maniacal and heavily-motion-lined evil hand-rubbing in the final panel. Or maybe he’s so turned on by the thrill of pursuit that he’s doing some spontaneous hand-jiving.
Crankshaft, 8/6/06
There’s absolutely nothing about the humor content of this strip that demands that it be narrated by girls in bikinis, but I’m gradually learning that the main role of the granddaughter in this feature is to distract from the lame-o writing by wearing something skimpy.
August 6th, 2006 at 9:30 pm
Is that evil hand rubbing or some kind of gansta’ hand jive? It is not readily apparent by the motion lines of the hand bobbles.
August 6th, 2006 at 9:42 pm
Why must you belittle Crankshaft. Both of us devoted (in a non-ironic way) crankshaft readers put up with about 2 months of seeing his ugly mug just to get to a little skin. Is that so wrong?
August 6th, 2006 at 9:48 pm
Has Stalkeraldo been replaced by an organ grinder’s monkey?
August 6th, 2006 at 10:02 pm
Mary Worth: Ew. EW. EWWWW. EW EW EW F***ING EWWWWWW.
The backlit next-to-last panel had me ROFLing. But in the final panel…well, lets just say the artist probably wanted to show Captain Cornholerapist handpolishing another part of his body in a circular motion, but couldn’t. And the moustache isn’t suitable for twirling, Snidley-Whiplash style, so…
Come on. That is so totally a rug.
August 6th, 2006 at 10:03 pm
When did the Professor start dyeing his hair, for chrissakes? Or was there a cast replacement? The brown hair makes him look like Captain Kangaroo, fer cryin’ out loud.
August 6th, 2006 at 10:05 pm
I thought Aldo was clapping in excitment.
August 6th, 2006 at 10:13 pm
Looked like clapping to me too, but it’s hard to say.
August 6th, 2006 at 10:14 pm
Pluggers: I misunderestimated the chief plugger and his band of pluggettes. I referred to the dog as the “plugger alarm clock” or the “plugger burglar alarm” but wasn’t prepared for this timely plugger dog joke. (I hope that link will work after midnight;otherwise, it would have just been “today’s” strip, which will no doubt be launching into new plugger territory relating to kangaroos and unusually backward interpretations of some modern technology–check the 8/6/06 strip if the link won’t work). Bonus points for the inherent political rallying and fear-mongering that accompany the normal plugger aesthetic.
August 6th, 2006 at 10:20 pm
“I’m pretty open-minded, but I didn’t find Aldo’s brand of humor amusing at all!” — this presumably refers back to the “joke” in which Stalkeroo suggested that their exchange of gifts should continue indefinitely.
The problem is that the line is so contrived as to be meaningless.
If Mary really thinks it was an attempt at humor, her failure to find it funny has nothing to do with an insufficiently open mind — and everything to do with the fact that, as jokes go, it was poorly conceived and terribly executed. And that puts aside the fact that you would have to be some kind of drunken gibbering dwarf-girl to believe it was a joke at all.
On the other hand, if Mary doesn’t believe it was an attempt at humor . . . then she’s being sarcastic. To herself. Inside her head. For no apparent reason.
Since she’s clearly contemplating violence in the next-to-last panel of the strip, I guess I’m going to go with the latter option above . . . that Mary’s got a screw loose.
August 6th, 2006 at 10:24 pm
He’s clearly making the American Sign Language sign for Methodist.
August 6th, 2006 at 10:26 pm
Er… Maybe I’m just tired and not seeing it clearly, but is Mary actually brought to the point of tears in the fifth panel?
August 6th, 2006 at 10:32 pm
Wow, I thought the Mary-radiates-glory-of-god panel was nice, but this Mary-as-a-golden-idol panel is even better, if only because it allows me to imagine she has been encased in metal and therefore will slowly die of thirst and starvation. Not sure why her hand was attached to her chin in the process, but that’s just gravy.
August 6th, 2006 at 10:37 pm
Maybe I’m going a little grammer-nazi on this, but my english teacher loved to drill into my head how punctuation always goes on the inside of quotation marks.
“Cool?”
“Girls?”
“Ari?”
Oh, and I thought the “official” name of the strip was “The Girls in Apartment 3-G.” I may be completely wrong, or that may be dated, but I think refering to late twenty-somethings as “girls” is allowed.
August 6th, 2006 at 10:44 pm
P.S. MW, it’s you, not him, that’s going to “get the point,” if you know what I mean. [rubs hands together vigorously] OH, YEAH!
August 6th, 2006 at 10:50 pm
#13–
I believe the rule is that punctuation such as !’s and ?’s go outside the quotation marks if they are not part of the quote.
As far as Tommie’s utter shock at being referred to as “girls,” perhaps this is a nod to the fact that in real time the three are actually 900 years old.
August 6th, 2006 at 11:07 pm
#13 Big Mike, I was taught the same way here in America, but I believe the opposite is true in Britain (not that that relates to the A3G punctuation). I’ve recently taken to using whichever seems more appropriate. In post #14 above, I use the American way because it fits the flow of the sentence.
But in post #90 here I thought it made more sense for the question mark to be outside the quotes, since the word wouldn’t be spelled as a question. And when I asked (#12)for shirts that said “I’m with Foob” and “Foob”, I wanted to put the punctuation outside the quotes like just now, but the nagging sensation that it was wrong led me to insert a parenthetical phrase between the quote mark and the punctuation so I could avoid the issue entirely.
So, yes, you are “going grammar-nazi” (though it would be more true if you’d spelled “grammar” correctly), but you are not alone. We can follow the past or create our own future; it is up to us.
August 6th, 2006 at 11:15 pm
In the 6th panel Mary looks like “Rorschach” in “Watchmen”.
http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/1401207138/sr=8-2/qid=1154924047/ref=pd_bbs_2/104-5793705-9098367?ie=UTF8
August 6th, 2006 at 11:22 pm
Aldo looks like a giant seal in that last panel, bangng his flippers together because he just performed a trick. I have an overwhelming urge to toss him a fish, just to hear him bark.
August 6th, 2006 at 11:26 pm
Tommie is just a lame passive doormat. If only she were more like Margo…who would have handled the situation more appropriately: http://www.jasonabeattie.com/Images/margo080606.jpg
August 6th, 2006 at 11:34 pm
’tis our dear Mary in panel two that got me all sentimental.
Mary, dear Mary, it was a pig named Wilbur to whom the spider talked. Whatever that spider above your doorway is doing, she’s not Charlotte and she’s not going to write a diatribe into her web as to how you should handle Captain Stalkeroo. Stop speaking to spiders and get that luscious asscandy Dr. Jeff back from Cambodia! Cleft palates be damned. You have a menacing pair of man breasts staring you down from beneath a toupee and, girl, you may think you’re all that and a bag of chips but y’need Dr. Jeff’s help and stat!
Why else, in panel 4, would the artist reduce you to child-size proportions and have you stashing the groceries underneath the kitchen table?
When a woman can chameleonize herself into Tippi Hedren in panel 6, it’s a cry for help.
August 7th, 2006 at 12:05 am
My god, if Batiuk and Ayers could just lop off the useless half (the first half) of their strip I might be able to read it without a magnifying glass. The thought that it takes 2 people to create Crankshaft just blows my freakin’ mind.
August 7th, 2006 at 12:09 am
#s 13 and 16:
Quoth the CMoS, more or less: Periods and commas always go inside quotes; question marks and exclamation points go inside only if they appear in the quoted material; all other marks (colons, semicolons, dashes, etc.) go outside the marks.
Can you tell I’m tired of working on my dissertation tonight?
August 7th, 2006 at 12:17 am
Maybe Mary looks so mad in panel 6 because she fell for the ole’ ink-smeared-on-binoculars trick.
August 7th, 2006 at 12:45 am
“Those rumors which Toby told me about must be getting to me!”
Who the f*** talks like this, much less thinks like this?! Could this dialog be any more awkward or stilted?
August 7th, 2006 at 1:05 am
What is going on with Gina’s hair? Are she and “Ari” playing “dangerous games” with an “electrical socket”?
August 7th, 2006 at 1:30 am
Yes, it could. I was really rather surprised that proper Mary didn’t use the correct formal grammar: “Those rumors about which Toby told me…” That would be worse, but would sound more like Mary Worth.
August 7th, 2006 at 1:34 am
Look closely at the last two panels in Mary Worth, and you’ll notice that the picture on Aldo’s wall is a miniature version of the shot of Mary’s face in the previous panel. So apparently he has already set up the hidden video surveillance in her condo. He is one fast stalker.
August 7th, 2006 at 1:42 am
Meanwhile, in Monday’s Mary Worth:
http://www.chron.com/apps/comics/showComick.mpl?date=20060807&name=Mary_Worth
The coloring of her oven glove is bleeding onto her shirt. She must have encountered some of that dry paint from Sunday’s BC.
August 7th, 2006 at 1:48 am
Quoth the CMoS, more or less: Periods and commas always go inside quotes; question marks and exclamation points go inside only if they appear in the quoted material; all other marks (colons, semicolons, dashes, etc.) go outside the marks.
Unless you’re outside of the US…then all bets are off. Could the 3G girls be exiled Brits? Imagine Tommie talking in a posh accent, and Margot as a cheeky cockney…
August 7th, 2006 at 1:50 am
Am I the only one who started singing Bon Jovi’s “Livin’ On A Prayer” when Tommie met Gina? Please tell me I’m not alone in this. Or at least not cracking up.
August 7th, 2006 at 2:02 am
WOW!
That Gina’s a wild one for sure – going out with her kimono all undone and the bottom part of her hair looking all whisk-broomish!
(She’s probably going to be revealed to be an art/poetry student
and related to the Prof
in some innocent way. “Oh, Tommie – this is my niece, Gina.”)
August 7th, 2006 at 2:57 am
In Monday’s MW, exactly how much “perfect tuna noodle casserole ” will Dr. Jeff’s picture be able to eat?
How does she keep that stalker-perfect figure if she’s eating 9″x13″ pans of cream of mushroom-based dishes alone?
I want Mary’s secrets!
August 7th, 2006 at 3:24 am
What makes Aldo really seem perverse in his intentions to stalk Mary, is the fact he obviously feels it necessary to do so while modelling himself after Captain Kangaroo.
August 7th, 2006 at 3:43 am
#27 Dub Not Dubya:
You have an incredible eye for detail. (You also might be spending too much time pouring over comic strips. Time to get a hobby.)
“What are your hobbies, outside of summarizing?”
“Golf, strangling animals, and masturbating.”
“Oh, let himself down a bit on the hobbies – golf’s not very popular around here…”
–Monty Python’s Flying Circus (prior to BBC censoring)
I think I’ve discovered the theme of Gasoline Alley: self-centeredness and pointless bitching as down-home American values. Sunday, the cast was moaning about how gasoline only cost ten cents a gallon back at the Dawn of Time.
Today, “Forest Fire” Slim is “helping” his son replace the screens on a cabin. And I put “helping” in quotation marks for a reason: as his son climbs to the attic up a rickety, unsecured “flat” ladder laid against the cabin at an odd angle, Slim stands off to one side, scratching his ass and saying he’s “glad to help.” HOLD THE LADDER, you stupid fat f***er. I swear to God, Slim should have a damn pickaxe buried in his skull.
“We’re a danger to ourselves and others!
Screw the earth and steal our mothers!
Leave us in the woods and we’re just fine!
We’re a danger to ourselves and others!
Good livestock with better lovers!
Hunting leeches is what we call a good time!
–Mike and The Bots
The son, like Slim’s tiny grandson, has the creepy and annoying habit of blurting out words without reason: he holds up a screen and barks, “Screens!” to no one in particular. M-O-O-N, that spells Tom Cullen.
Then the son says: “I believe these things were designed to keep insects IN the house!”
…
…
…you know what, Slim? Forget what I said earlier. That’s so stupid, if I were Slim I’d shove the damn ladder over without hesitation. Go with God, my son, splat crack. Honey, git th’ shovel, we’s buryin’ another one.
“Bathtubs! I believe these things were designed to make us dirty!”
“Toenails! I believe these things were designed to make my ass stink!”
“Baltimore! I believe this was created with the purpose of attracting the aliens what stole my dog and only my tinfoil hat keeps ‘em from stealin’ my manhood as well!”
F***ing yeehaws. Okay, okay, moving on.
Sally Forth: Wow. Speaking of people who need to end up in a shallow grave…damn, Ted. You’re an ass. Remember John Wayne Bobbit? He was an ass too.
Judge Parker has returned to the weird lettering, but not as weird as it was in the past week, with sO many Oversized Os.
August 7th, 2006 at 4:20 am
Aldo has a really cool window: the panes provide vastly different perspectives of what’s outside. Or he likes to hang framed pictures of badly composed photographs of trees, one on top of the other.
Today, we continue with the theme that Mary spends all of her non-meddling time in the kitchen. Why couldn’t her “special apple cake” (the ingredients for which she had just put away yesterday) been incorporated into this strip instead?
August 7th, 2006 at 6:58 am
ALL RIGHT!!!!
We get it already, people! He looks like Captain Kangaroo! That was an interesting comment six weeks ago when Aldo first appeared on the scene, but how many more freaking times do we need to read that clever bit of insight?
Maybe Josh can start each MW posting with, “Meanwhile, check out Mary’s latest episode with the guy who looks like Captain Kangaroo ….”
August 7th, 2006 at 7:26 am
Put a fluffy white hat on Aldo and he’s Chef Boyardee rolling some meatballs.
August 7th, 2006 at 7:43 am
Milestone in comic strip history:
August 7, 2006 – Get Fuzzy
First use of the word “yutz” in a major strip.
August 7th, 2006 at 7:46 am
Milestone in comic strip history:
August 7, 2006 – Dilbert
First use of the word “schadenfreude” in a major strip.
August 7th, 2006 at 8:02 am
#37 Yes, that’s it – Aldo is rolling meatballs!
Actually, I thought he was using modelling clay to calm his excitement, as recommended by his psychiatric team, but it’s the same odd hand gesture….
August 7th, 2006 at 8:06 am
I don’t believe this. Get Fuzzy beat Frazz to a t-shirt with a current cycling reference.
August 7th, 2006 at 8:16 am
Today’s TDIET – lower panel:
Aldo’s dad – ready with the butcher paper to wrap up another unsuspecting victim…
hey, it makes TDIET more interesting? WOW!
August 7th, 2006 at 8:21 am
As shocked as Tommie looks in the last panel, I was disappointed that there wasn’t some head-bobbling action going on.
Speaking of which, if Gina’s going to be hanging around, she’s going to have to be shown the finer points of head-bobbling. In fact, maybe the Professor’s planning on teaching her a few things in that area right now…
August 7th, 2006 at 8:44 am
#36 – you’re right. I hadn’t noticed it before, but Aldo DOES bear a slight resemblance to Captain Kangaroo! Good “catch”!
August 7th, 2006 at 8:58 am
So, who thinks Aldo is a furry-assed man? Dr. Jeff seems to me like he’d be smooth. Mary… I can’t imagine Mary being one for a furry ass. Mary has the cleanest kitchen counter in all comicdom. A woman like that is gonna want smooth skin to grasp while her man does his business in her.
Second, do you think Mary and Dr. Jeff have ever done it on the boat ala Pamela and Tommy?
I’ll go take my meds now.
August 7th, 2006 at 9:04 am
It seems the artist who does “Sherman’s Lagoon” has recently watched the episode of “The Simpsons” where Homer gets hair, becomes an executive, and hires an assistant named Carl.
August 7th, 2006 at 9:04 am
Ok, now I don’t tend to read Mark Trail. But Sunday’s strip was in poor taste!
Here it is. A little snippet about our friend, the Galapagos tortoise. Look at that last panel!
Mr. Trail, I regret to be the bearer of unhappy tidings, but Harriet bucked the kicket a few months ago. She is not the oldest living animal in the world, but rather she has been turned into the world’s oldest soup. And since you say she was 170 and she died at 176, I…I…poor taste!
I’ll be in the TUB.
August 7th, 2006 at 9:06 am
More Gina … mule! (Think the new “Girls in 3-B” are auditioning to take over the strip?)
In today’s Mary Worth what was apparently a purple dress on Sunday has morphed into a handsome purple jumpsuit (with matching purple pendant). Her telephone is an odd mix of old and new technology, cordless but with a nifty handcrank on the right side. I’m also wondering, how does one phone call constitute a “knack”?
August 7th, 2006 at 9:08 am
I find it amusing that people still refer to Aldo as Captain Kangaroo as if it was the first time it’s been mentioned. I may get tired of it eventually but I doubt it.
August 7th, 2006 at 9:08 am
The thought of Aldo clapping in the last panel makes it even funnier/creepier than it already is.
Aside (which may have already been covered): More than any of the endless parade of useless and ill-conceived comics, is any more of a head-scratcher than Mary Worth?
I mean, aside from snarky irony-swadlled commenters, who the F is the target audience of this affront? Who decided we needed a comic strip about an old woman? And how has it lasted all this time?
August 7th, 2006 at 9:22 am
Does anyone talk to themselves the way Mary does?
I’ve found Mary Worth to be much more enjoyable if the words are only simplified.
“my encounter with Aldo in the parking lot was startling to say the least” becomes “man, that was creepy.”
August 7th, 2006 at 9:27 am
“As Rex begins to walk away, Troy stops him!”
GAYEST. OMINSCIENT NARRATION BOX. EVER.
August 7th, 2006 at 9:55 am
I thought I saw Crankshaft making a cameo in Saturday’s spectacularly unfunny Mr. Boffo. Using googoodoll’s simplification method from an above post, this joke basically reads “The last thing you want to hear from your chief engineer when you’re out in space is ‘the ship’s falling apart.’” Wow, Don Martin, you maintain three regular comic strips and still come up with gems like this! How do you do it? And is that a steaming cup of joe in Crankshaft Cameo’s left hand?
(BTW, a lot of people seem troubled by the overuse of exclamation points in comics. I find sentences with NO closing punctuation much more creepy. The only time that no-punctuation creepiness works in a strip’s favor is in Family Circus or in old Ernie Bushmiller “Nancy” strips.)
August 7th, 2006 at 10:10 am
#48 rich,
I think it’s supposed to be an antenna.
August 7th, 2006 at 10:11 am
It may not be know to everyone on the board, but the “girls” in Apartment 3G OWN THE BUILDING!
I am not kidding. They got it in a lawsuit several years ago.
So why does Tommi not know her new tennant?
It is a mystery.
August 7th, 2006 at 10:24 am
Those sick f***s in TDIET! Eating pizza made out of puppies! Disgusting.
http://www.chron.com/apps/comics/showComick.mpl?date=20060807&name=TDIE
Maybe that’s why “Soozu”, the retarded dwarf’s puppy, looked so terrified.
http://joshreads.com/?p=702
August 7th, 2006 at 10:33 am
#55 Maybe Tommie doesn’t know her, because Margo makes the tenant “selections” ?
August 7th, 2006 at 10:34 am
Mary just made the perfect tuna casserole??? What the hell does that mean? It’s a freaking tuna casserole. The only good thing about tuna casserole is that you can serve your family of 6 for pennies a plate. And, yeah #48, how does Mary know that whomever is calling has a knack for whatever stilted cliche she used for annoying the hell out of her? She hasn’t answered the phone yet! Why is this making me so angry? It makes so little sense, it’s like reading (DT)GT. There is only room for one surrealistic soap strip! If that.
Also, I found today’s Beetle Bailey to be sordid and obscene. Less ass scratching, please.
August 7th, 2006 at 10:40 am
MW: No, Mary–a “darn good cook” would prepare tuna casserole in a casserole. You seem to have used a jelly-roll pan.
Hasn’t that old biddy ever heard of Pyrex™?
August 7th, 2006 at 10:49 am
#59 I will only allow you to refer to Mary Worth as a biddy if that word is a shortened form of “bodacious.” We should all be so lucky as to be in our eighties and still have men vying for our loins like there was buried treasure up that wrinkled honeypot.
More tuna casserole, mule!
August 7th, 2006 at 11:06 am
Today’s FC Jeffy finally starts kicking some ASS!!
I hope to see him soon bitch slapping Dolly around for talking in insipid baby talk, kicking Daddy in the nuts for making him draw this crap, slapping Grandmama silly for trying to make him become born again, horsewhipping Barfy for eating his baseball card collection and barfing them up in the family room, and finally stomping Thel’s head with his Baby Doc Marten’s for letting PJ nurse and not letting him have anymore mama’s milk.
August 7th, 2006 at 11:09 am
08/06/06 MW: Panel one, Mary’s douche powder falls out of her grocery bag. Panel two, Mary shows that she knows EXACTLY where the comic camera is located by looking directly at it. Panel three, Mary has a box of “goat” in her other bag. Panel four, Mary is wandering around the kitchen carrying her groceries. Panel five, Mary puts the box of “goat” in the pantry. Panel six, Mary begins her transformation into a part oriental, part black person. In panel seven, has anyone noticed yet that Aldo Kelrast looks like Dr. Zhivago’s mother? No, wait a minute, that was Omar Sharif that looked like Dr Zhivago’s mother…damn, I’m a bit confused here…damn if he doesn’t remind me of someone…
August 7th, 2006 at 11:15 am
Oh, by the way, that hand motion is American Sign language for “I am a dipshit.”
Sorry, #10.
August 7th, 2006 at 11:20 am
#60: “Wrinkled honeypot”? Personally, I prefer the term, “weathered pastrami-flaps”.
When I first looked at 3G I thought the Gina character was actually a guest appearence by Jeanine Garofalo. Whew – what a relief!
August 7th, 2006 at 11:27 am
61: That’s one beautifully rendered action sequence in today’s Family Circus … I’m not sure, but did someone just hurl Jeffy at a sleeping/meditating Billy? And how does Billy know what just happened if his eyes were closed the whole time?
August 7th, 2006 at 11:29 am
#45 — I can think of a time when Mary’s kitchen counter WASN’T so clean.
August 7th, 2006 at 11:29 am
Mary Worth should win the Eternal Optimist Award. Pulling a tuna casserole out of the oven fills most people with nothing but self loathing and yet Mary is filled with smug satisfaction.
Mary = Plugger? (Don’t think Aldo isn’t wondering about this himself.)
August 7th, 2006 at 11:41 am
Is there a reason why Tommie is wearing a sweater over a polo shirt when it is like 100 friggin’ degrees out?
The Prof gets a pass because when you have a nickname like “The Professor” you have to carry a certain air about you, regardless of the fact that in five minutes that air is going to smell like month old cheese.
Tommie is shocked that, despite the strip itself being called “The Girls of Apartment 3-G” for a while, she is now being called a “girl”. She is also shocked that someone would call the Prof something other than Dr. Papalagosnuffleuppagus or “the Professor”. Adding to her shock is the realization that in the later half of the 20th century, “cool” replaced “neat-o” as the way to express some degree of style.
August 7th, 2006 at 11:43 am
FOOB: That evil witch Lynn Johnston really dropped the ball in today’s strip. Panel one has John stating that “we have the house to ourselves”. Panel two then shows him sniffing the air like Ronald Perlman in ‘Quest for Fire’ while a pensive Elly stands nervously behind him. Now, I think anyone would agree that panel three would quite logically show John feverishly hitting that enormous Elly-ass from behind accompanied by her primal screams of Canadien dentist-lust, but NO! What we get instead is a tired, whiny middle-aged John muttering querulously about “moving somewhere smaller”. ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ.
August 7th, 2006 at 12:00 pm
http://www.chron.com/apps/comics/showComick.mpl?date=20060807&name=Mary_Worth
Ok, Mary lives alone, and her man is out of town. So why would she make a huge tuna casserole in a 9×13 pan? I’ve made lasagna in a pan that size and I’m a huge eater. It would feed a sow like Mary for over a week.
If she were at all smart about things, she should acquiesse to Aldo’s insistence that they dine together, but she should serve her tuna casserole. Within minutes, I’m sure the dear Capt. Stalkeroo will either be writhing in pain on the floor or out of that hellhole never to darken Mary’s door again.
It is revealed in Sunday’s strip that Aldo is from Building B. Kelly Stirling was from Building B, too. What is it with those people? They’re just not like the good folk in Building A.
August 7th, 2006 at 12:03 pm
Dr Laura,
What makes Mary’s thought balloon (”Those rumors which Toby told me about must be getting to me!”) seem so unnatural is the lack of proper punctuation. Try it like this:
Those rumors, which Toby told me about, must be getting to me!
or
Those rumors–which Toby told me about–must be getting to me!
or even:
Those rumors* must be getting to me!
* which Toby told me about
Ah, that’s it. I think every comic strip should have footnotes. And a bibliography!
August 7th, 2006 at 12:06 pm
#60 Dingo–
BIDDY, noun:
1. A hen; a fowl
2. A woman, especially a garrulous old one
GARRULOUS, adj.:
1. Given to excessive and often trivial or rambling talk; tiresomely talkative.
2. Wordy and rambling: a garrulous speech
I stand by my choice of words.
August 7th, 2006 at 12:26 pm
Mary is making a tuna casserole that size because she plans to bring it to the downtown women’s shelter.
Soon after she leaves, there is going to be a food fight that will descend into a riot. Many will die. It will be a tragedy.
Maybe next time Mary will bring down American Chop Suey.
August 7th, 2006 at 12:27 pm
Mary, your robot head is ringing!
August 7th, 2006 at 12:54 pm
Oh boy, this is gonna be dark…
Those aren’t Aldo’s hands in the last panel. They belong to his previous love “interest” (perhaps that should be: “love” interest – help me out here Margo), ball-gagged and duck-taped out-of-frame, desparately clawing at Aldo as his iron grip dispatches her. Mary is playing hard to get, and Aldo can no longer permit himself any “distractions”…
August 7th, 2006 at 12:54 pm
I’m just comforted to know that Aldo’s hair is precisely the same colour as a paper sack. I also feel better knowing Mary’s choice between paper and plastic.
In regards to Pearls, with today’s strip I’ve finally had it with the crocodiles. They aren’t funny. They were never funny. Rat being cynical, biting and critical is funny. The crocodiles aren’t funny.
August 7th, 2006 at 1:07 pm
#71, I’m in total agreeance on the inclusion of footnotes and a bibliography – perhaps a prologue? as well?
Anyone notice panel #1 (Mary’s home) The photo/painting (CCTV image of Mary’s home?) on her wall – near the title – is awfully akin to the one in panel #7 (Aldo’s cave) ?
August 7th, 2006 at 1:10 pm
I’d just like to call attention to the fact that Garfield has miraculously picked up the Liz storyline again.
August 7th, 2006 at 1:13 pm
I love how the caption says, “Mary returns from an unexpected meeting with her neighbor.”
Then Mary thinks about returning from an unexpected meeting with her neighbor.
“My encounter with Aldo in the parking lot was startling to say the least”
The whole strip is just the same exposition over and over. Seven panels and we’re no farther along then we were in the last strip.
August 7th, 2006 at 1:21 pm
Tuna casserole reminds me of a bad date.
August 7th, 2006 at 2:02 pm
Mary Worth, 8/6/06, panel six: Rorschach from Watchmen? No? Ah, who cares?
Family Circus, 8/7/06: Gasp–a topical reference! The middle-aged children in that strip pay attention to sports news!
August 7th, 2006 at 2:02 pm
Dang you, #64. I was going to make the Garofalo comment but decided to read through all the comments to make sure someone hadn’t beaten me to it. If you’re going to beat me to it, at least have the decency to do it before commetn 64 so I don’t spend the whole day reading comments on CC.
But anyway, gee, she really does look like Janeane Garofalo!
August 7th, 2006 at 2:03 pm
Mary Worth, 8/6/06, panel six: Rorschach from Watchmen? No? Ah, who cares?
Family Circus, 8/7/06: Gasp–a topical reference! The middle-aged children in that strip pay attention to sports news!
August 7th, 2006 at 2:03 pm
Mere cog: “weathered pastrami flaps”! (Notice exclamation mark outside of quotes, thanks.)
Yowza! I canniot shake the phrase from my head, yet I cannot stop laughing. Nice one.
See, people, isn’t that much more of a compliment than LOL?
August 7th, 2006 at 2:08 pm
Has anyone else noticed that Alpo the Stalker bears an uncanny resemblence to Captain Kangaroo?
August 7th, 2006 at 2:11 pm
Why is it such an “inopportune time” for Mary? She didn’t just get into her bath (thank God, because watching a panel of Mary Worth’s century old butt descending into a pile of steaming bubbles would irreparably twist my stomach). She took the pan out of the oven. Put it on the stove or wherever you would put it to cool. I mean, you weren’t on the virge of diving into that delicious pan of molten tuna, noodles, cheese and peas flavored with your secret recipe of 11 herbs and spices (was that 11 herbs and 11 spices, or a total of 11? We’ll never know). She’s mad, though, from the looks of things. Her thought balloon is pathetically out of touch with her facial expression, trying to be polite and delicate, when she really wants to scream. She’s a tortured soul living in the body of a self-loathing old hag, who’s prim and utterly sexless facade has driven away the man of her dreams.
August 7th, 2006 at 2:16 pm
The Prof in A3G has discovered a secret de-aging formula. He has developed this with his good friend and collegue Rex Morgan. The Prof was at least 30 years older in strips within the past year. I suppose with the secret of eternal youth, he also found the secret of the eternal erection. Enter Gina.
August 7th, 2006 at 2:32 pm
The professor’s gray again today. Guess it’s back to the drawing board with that de-aging formula.
August 7th, 2006 at 2:40 pm
#78 – Yes, and I’m ashamed to say that I *chuckled* at it. What’s become of me?
And FC does no better at action sequences than DT or the Phantom.
August 7th, 2006 at 2:58 pm
I think Mary is feeding the whole building. Either that or she forgets that she lives alone.
August 7th, 2006 at 3:04 pm
Bootsy: I’m glad you liked it. My other choice was “aging beef curtains”.
August 7th, 2006 at 3:12 pm
Aldo’s going to be burying Mary in his backyard by the end of the month, isn’t he? :P
August 7th, 2006 at 3:13 pm
87-88: Considering the Professor’s ethnicity, he must use Grecian Formula.
Aw, you knew someone was going to say it.
August 7th, 2006 at 3:53 pm
#92: Wishing won’t make Mary Worth’s impending and desireable death come any sooner. No one of us is so lucky.
August 7th, 2006 at 4:21 pm
It’s all coming together . . . in Sunday’s strip, the thing that stood out the most was the look of grim calculation on Mary’s face as she thought about what it would take for Stalkeroo to “get the point” that she wasn’t into him . . . then all of a sudden she’s forgotten the special apple cake that she was going to make in favor of an industrial-size tuna casserole.
Anybody who’s read all the warnings about tuna knows that there’s enough mercury in that thing to kill a . . . kangaroo?
“Hello Aldo, sorry I couldn’t have lunch with you today, but why don’t you come over tonight for a tray of my signature perfect mercury poisoning casserole!!!”
August 7th, 2006 at 4:50 pm
#95 has hit it!
Personally, I thought that ol’ Mar’ might have placed shards of broken swan into the casserole as a gift to the Captain and the women at the shelter.
Oh, and to me, #86 deserves COTW. Kudos Hogenmogen.
The professor in 3G did look a bit spritely. Perhaps we’ll soon learn that his “student” (thanks, Margo) is from Virginia, making her “VA GINA.” Tommie’s never seen one of them before.
Y’know, Tommie is beginning to remind me of the character of Celie from The Color Purple. Sexless, shit on by everyone she knows (and not in the good way, and basically clueless. All we need now is for a drunken woman from the Charterstone shelter to walk up to Tommie and say, “You sho’ iz ug-lee!”
August 7th, 2006 at 4:51 pm
Does Professor Papagoras know Professor Cameron? Since both insist on being addressed as “Professor” outside the classroom, I think they might have met in Cambridge at the annual Pompous Apartment-Dwelling Academic Blowhard Convention.
“More sherry, Cameron?”
“Why, thank you, Papagoras.”
“By the way, Cameron, have you considered growing a mustache? You wouldn’t look so much like an Amish farmer or a Nantucket whaling captain.”
“Thanks for the advice, Papagoras. Incidentally, your Grecian Formula needs a touchup around the roots.”
“I’ll have a look, Cameron. My word, isn’t that Kelrast-Kangaroo across the common room? I must ask him what he is up to on his sabbatical.”
August 7th, 2006 at 4:51 pm
“Idiot Box” from mycomicspage is worth a look..!!
August 7th, 2006 at 5:15 pm
#97: I have suspected for a while that the two Professors are actually the same person. Leading a double-life, it appears…
Aldo Kelrast = Captain Kangaroo = Plugger???
You know you’re a Plugger when you’re attracted to Mary Worth.
August 7th, 2006 at 5:16 pm
Is it just me or does Aldo look like Captain Kangaroo?
August 7th, 2006 at 5:21 pm
After reading comment #99, I guess it’s not just me.
August 7th, 2006 at 5:27 pm
Hrm . . . So, we need to set up Stalkeroo with Ginafalo and just give them their own blog, where people can post over and over again that they look like blah blah blah yadda yadda yadda.
(Oh, yeah!)
August 7th, 2006 at 5:45 pm
Only the mustache is Aldo’s real hair. He is definitely sporting a rug from the Kangaroo Toupee Company. Otherwise, he will resemble a giant pink beach ball should that opportunity ever present itself.
And he appears to be preparing his newly-acquired man hands for meditating upon the koan of Mary’s hot tuna and the sound of One Hand Clapping, if you know what I mean.
I think I’ll be losing my lunch now…
August 7th, 2006 at 5:54 pm
First off, is Mary so upset about Aldo (who, j’ever notice, looks a lot like Cap’n Kangeroo…) that she’s crying, or is that one huge eyebag?
Second, why is Mary the one with the sinister shadows on her face? OMG– is she gonna make a kelrasterole for dinner tonight?
Third, godammit, I can’t believe I read this stupid comic every day, and it’s all because of you, Josh–MW isn’t even in my paper.
August 7th, 2006 at 6:07 pm
#96 – Dingo – you can be shit on in a “good way”? Um… On second thought – no, don’t explain
–ever.
August 7th, 2006 at 6:10 pm
#104 – ohgrl – Kelrasterole.
That’s good.
August 7th, 2006 at 6:16 pm
#103 Oh, the KanTouCo! Great, great rugs. I’ve heard they have actually been manufacturing an affixable moustache. So, we really do have no clue whether it’s a genuine crum-duster or not.
#104 I live in Ontario, Canada… Not many of us here know the, worth of the, “Worth”… yikes
August 7th, 2006 at 6:18 pm
Mary Worth’s sudden mood swings:
Sunday panel 1: Exasperated
panel 2: Contemplative
panel 3: Confident
panel 4: Angry
panel 5: Teary eyed
panel 6: Sinister
panel 7: She’s in the bathroom while Aldo plots her doom
Monday panel 1: Arrogant
panel 2: Enraged
Mary, are you experiencing hot flashes? Sudden cold spells? Are you currently taking any meds that we, as viewers, should be aware of for our own protection?
August 7th, 2006 at 6:27 pm
I think it’s just genius how the artist in Mary Worth is trying to be a bit more hip by making Aldo look like a grown up version of the kid from ‘Problem Child.’ Bow tie, red headed bowl cut, chipmunk cheeks…what a sexy beast!
August 7th, 2006 at 7:15 pm
Wasn’t Tommie supposed to be based on the 1940’s chorus-girl version of Lucille Ball? Maybe she should be saying “Waaaaaahhhhh, Ariiiiiieeee!!!!”
August 7th, 2006 at 8:09 pm
Scene: April 17, 2055. Josh, in his dotage, is about to turn over Curmudgeonly duties to his daughter, Joshina. Amongst the 7,358 comments on the CC Interstellar Transcranial Megawebsite that day is this one: “Say, I just found a stash of rare comics from 2006, including a Mary Worth from the days before she was a bionic radioactive subterranean mutant. She’s being stalked by this guy who looks like the 1960s kids’ show host, Captain Kanga–” – and the universe suddenly explodes, unfortunately before the very last person who had yet to do so can finish noting the resemblance of Aldo Kelrast to that character Bob Keeshan played… (Note: in Mary Worth time, it will be a week from next Tuesday.)
August 7th, 2006 at 8:10 pm
#105 I was making reference to a TDIET that someone on here had re-imagined. If you didn’t see it, you didn’t get the joke.
So, in a crunch, who would Mel Gibson refer to as “Sweet Tits”: Mary Worth or Tommie from Apartment 3G? That’s the name he used for the female patrol partner during his weekend hullabaloo.
In a pinch, I’m going with Tommie.
August 7th, 2006 at 10:02 pm
In the absence of Capt. Kangaroo, I’m employing Aldo Kelrast.
Re:Today’s MW – Gee, I wonder who, of all people, that could be? Nope. Haven’t a clue. I’m just completely stumped! Who could know?[/extremely heavy sarcasm]
August 7th, 2006 at 10:04 pm
I, like any one else, can appreciate a tuna casserole but where, oh where, did Mary’s special spicy cake go? Is Mary bulimic? Is that why she made such a large serving of tuna casserole and does not want to be disturbed during her consumption of her “darn good” cooking? Or, is she just a geriatric tease, baking recipies from the 1953 Betty Crocker Cookbook to tempt and entice her thisclose neighbors?
At any rate, Aldo’s hair color looks like the butterscotch hard dip for twisty cones at the Dairy Queen AND matches his apartment wall, as well.
August 7th, 2006 at 11:17 pm
I’ve been Aldo Kelrasting for a while now, and I’ve finally worked up the courage to chime in.
I can’t believe I’m hooked on Mary Worth again (I didn’t even know she was still alive) thanks to this site. And Apartment 3-G, although I’m confused. Didn’t Tommie come out as a lesbian several years ago? I seem to recall a big brouhaha about that, or was the other roommate who’s not Margo?
It’s a little creepy that the old man in Crankshaft is overlooking what I presume is his scantily clad nubile teenage granddaughter and her equally nubile friend as they sun themselves. “How much do you love your gandpa, princess?”
August 8th, 2006 at 9:12 am
Re. #112: “Sugar tits,” not “sweet tits.”
So which will be the first comic strip to mention Mel Gibson’s drunken-driving tirade? Probably Doonesbury, though Mallard Fillmore could possibly get the jump on everyone else by calling your typical liberal much, much more prejudiced than a million Gibsons. Either that, or Mallard will swoon over Ann Coulter in the most sickening bestiality-related strip in human history.
August 8th, 2006 at 5:47 pm
OK…my ex husband sent me to this site.
However, I don’t see anything here about Prince Valiant.
I’m bummed.
August 9th, 2006 at 1:22 am
You have no idea how happy I am that this site exists. I have been making fun of Mary Worth on my own for a while now…..but to discover that other people realize the ridiculous nature of this strip…….it brings so much joy to my life.
I believe I got hooked when Mary Worth advised a friend to stop exercising in order to save her marriage. Yup. That did it for me.
August 9th, 2006 at 2:06 am
Prince Valiant is the most utterly fabulous strip in the biz.
August 9th, 2006 at 4:50 am
#116: If you’ve seen Bruce Tinsley’s caricature of Jon Stewart, you have a good idea of his feelings towards der Juden.
(Mallard’s boss, Mr. Noseworthy, is probably Jewish – a holdover from those golden days when it was “the Jews” and not “the liberals” who controlled all media. Since those days, however, Israel has been recognized as a valuable pawn in the neoconservative scheme for perpetual war, so the whole anti-Semitic angle has to be downplayed…for now.)
August 9th, 2006 at 12:44 pm
I love how Mary Worth looks like she’s in a Fantastic Four comic drawn by Jack Kirby in the bottom left panel.
August 9th, 2006 at 3:27 pm
#121: You should totally ’shop in Kirby dots.