The Comics Curmudgeon

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Hold up there, Descartes! Wait a minute, Francis Bacon!

Blondie, 7/27/10

I can’t tell you how tickled I am by the phrase “Whoa! Slow down, Edison!” It seems very anachronistic, somehow. When exactly did Edison stop being a typical metonym for “genius”? Probably right around the time that his electric light and phonograph started looking pretty feeble next to the awesome majesty of the atomic bomb, and he was forever displaced in most people’s minds by Albert Einstein. Considering the strip’s legacy status, it’s quite appropriate that Dagwood is talking to an IT staffer using a pre-World War II vocabulary.

Luann, 7/27/10

So, uh, Brad is hoping that Toni will absorb his no doubt formidable B.O., just by being a girl in his immediate proximity? Or is this supposed to imply something sexuNNNGGGHG DON’T THINK IT DON’T THINK IT

Panel from Mary Worth, 7/27/10

Ha ha, I honestly believe that this is one of the best Mary Worth moments of the past year. Look at how angry and confused Dr. Mike is. “Grr! So angry and confused! I want to punch something or someone, but I don’t know who or what!”

Crankshaft, 7/27/10

Crankshaft forgot to feed his cat, so it ran away.

This entry was posted on Tuesday, July 27, 2010 at 03:48 pm and is filed under Blondie, Crankshaft, Luann, Mary Worth. |

198 responses to “Hold up there, Descartes! Wait a minute, Francis Bacon!”

Carlo
July 27th, 2010 at 3:50 pm [Reply]

Looks like Evans has the market cornered on old man product placement.
zenvelo
July 27th, 2010 at 3:52 pm [Reply]

I wish MY psychiatrist had a reclining couch that would sit up when I was angry. How come Dr Mike gets all the good loony-bin furniture?
Foolkiller
July 27th, 2010 at 3:59 pm [Reply]

How could you miss Funky’s fear of the therapy dog? The dog nearly sheds a tear at hearing about how he might rip Funky’s throat out. I can’t wait for the next dream!
Nekrotzar
July 27th, 2010 at 4:00 pm [Reply]

A sexy fragrance all my own? How about this? BLORP!!! I call it ‘Brad’s Baked Beans.’ Are you turned on yet?
dr.giraud
July 27th, 2010 at 4:00 pm [Reply]

MT: Ha ha, the officer DID bring a warrant. Now the punching will be legally airtight!
Calico
July 27th, 2010 at 4:01 pm [Reply]

YT #120 Queek –
Nice squee.
I like the Pina Colada cat the best, but they are all awesome!
cheech wizard
July 27th, 2010 at 4:01 pm [Reply]

Crankshaft – Yes, now the cat will grant you a wish. Or is it that you’re going to die? I forget which. Of course, being the Funkyshaft universe, you could probably kill two birds with one stone.
Digger Tract
July 27th, 2010 at 4:02 pm [Reply]

FC: Nice try, Bil, but even a subnormal child like Jeffy still has an animal’s canny sense of self-preservation.

Garfield: Hey, its’ “The insult that made a man out of Mac!” or, in this case, Jon. Can’t beat the classics.

MW: Are we sure this is Dr. Mike and not Dr. Banner?
BananaSam
July 27th, 2010 at 4:03 pm [Reply]

I all for honesty in relationships, but if you are wearing cologne you borrowed from your father, and if you are not thirteen years old, maybe don’t share that detail with your date.
Howard
July 27th, 2010 at 4:03 pm [Reply]

Family Circus: I just want to know one thing… how much does Jeff Keane’s therapist make? Because the sight of him drawing himself as a witless coward, again and again, is making me feel queasy… I mean, he’s in such dire straits I’m almost thinking he needs a meddling from Mary Worth…! And nobody needs that!

Rex Morgan, MD: Rex, listen to June. She knows how being weak is always exploitable. In fact, she’s been exploiting YOUR weaknesses for years.

Zits: Sometimes I’m not sure about this strip. Some days it looks like a ‘ha-ha, look at those crazy teenagers’ strip written by old men that’s nothing more than ‘agh they are so different than me agh agh’; sometimes, like today, it manages to be a look into the psychology of parenting that’s downright insightful, managing to catch the creepy ’stalker’ vibe of parents crossing boundaries, and asking questions of parents everywhere about where they draw the line. It’s almost like Jerry Scott & Jim Borgman are sharing the writing duties… and one of them is a retarded chimp.
Chowder
July 27th, 2010 at 4:04 pm [Reply]

If you actually consider the remark within the context of actual history, Dagwood just offered the IT guy one of the most grievous insults you can possibly visit upon a nerd (Edison stole all his breakthroughs from other, less shitty inventors, and also was a massive dickhole besides). I sense the beginning of a story arc in which all of Dagwood’s electronics mysteriously betray him, one after another. By the time his beloved fridge starts spitting food at him-the final insult-he’s finally broken. Blondie is forced to put him in a home, and the pain of seeing the shell of what was once her husband is too much; eventually the visits stop, and his only friend will be one surly nurse who makes sure he isn’t sitting in his own filth for more than a day at a time.

Sadly, I suspect this is giving Young and Marshall a little too much credit.
queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
July 27th, 2010 at 4:05 pm [Reply]

@cheech wizard (#y124): o dear. There’s some real “winners” there!
tb4000
July 27th, 2010 at 4:06 pm [Reply]

MW: Being talked down to by Mary Worth is always nothing short of infuriating, so I don’t blame the good doc.
OTL
July 27th, 2010 at 4:10 pm [Reply]

Is it just me, or is this Crankshaft storyline starting to resemble the current Mark Trail storyline a bit? (And if so, can we hope for a crossover? I suppose there aren’t too many characters in the Funkyverse with enough facial hair to warrant a Mark Trail beatdown, but there’s always Les to pick on…)
flodnak
July 27th, 2010 at 4:11 pm [Reply]

Hello, Toni. Look at your man. Now back to me. Now back at your man. Now back to me. Sadly, your man is Brad.
Shawn S.
July 27th, 2010 at 4:13 pm [Reply]

Luann: Brad does this EVERY STRIP. Yes, we get it, you’re incredibly horny all the goddamn time. I’m not sure what this says about Toni, does she she need reassurance every 5 seconds that she looks like a porn star?

Blondie: Edison was never the genius of his time anyways, it was Tesla. “Slow down, Tesla!”
bourbon babe, unbuckled
July 27th, 2010 at 4:13 pm [Reply]

@queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#y123): Corgis! I laugh out louded!
tube sock
July 27th, 2010 at 4:14 pm [Reply]

FW: Note to self, order that pepperoni necktie for patient Winkerbean.
CleverNameIsaac
July 27th, 2010 at 4:16 pm [Reply]

I was angry, and confused! That anger and confusion made me pelvic thrust at everything and everyone!
Joe the Plugger
July 27th, 2010 at 4:16 pm [Reply]

9CL: For those not keeping track, E-something and German guy’s last day together started June 12th</a. Not *July*… June. We are now near the beginning of August. A month and a half to get through ~24 hours of story. This makes the Belgium story-line seem like only a week of unicorns.
Joe the Plugger
July 27th, 2010 at 4:17 pm [Reply]

Oops! Sorry about the bad closing tag… Wish I could edit…
BigTed
July 27th, 2010 at 4:17 pm [Reply]

Clearly, “Pickles” is a Freudian symbol for an old man’s sexual desire. Will it ever get “hungry” and return? Only if it’s fed by a seductive stranger.
survivor
July 27th, 2010 at 4:20 pm [Reply]

FW: Q: “What are you writing on my chart?”
A: “200mg Zoloft”
foobar
July 27th, 2010 at 4:21 pm [Reply]

Ick, Luann. What the hell does it mean that Mr. Potatohead smells like a girl?
BigTed
July 27th, 2010 at 4:21 pm [Reply]

Wait’ll Dagwood finds out that his web browser has a feature that automatically reopens sites following a crash. Now everyone will know he looks at flapper porn.
Rocky Stoneaxe
July 27th, 2010 at 4:22 pm [Reply]

Crankshaft — Ha ha… Even a cat named “Pickles” can’t stand the old sourpuss!

B.C. — Do wolf-dogs suffer from erectile dysfunction?

Oh, Brother! — Bud learned everything he knows about hunting from watching old Tarzan films!

Arlo & Janis — I never realized what a major babe Janis was back in the day!
Chyron HR
July 27th, 2010 at 4:25 pm [Reply]

BLONDIE – “I see the problem. This is a mock room display from Ikea.” “WOAH! SAY IT IN ENGLISH FOR THE REST OF US, PYTHAGORAS!”

LUANN – Brad’s unique fragrance is the Stench of Desperation. It comes in a handy 250 pound tub.

MARY WORTH Z – “I am angry! And confused! I will clench and grunt until I power up to Super Therapist 2!”
Ned Ryerson
July 27th, 2010 at 4:27 pm [Reply]

Luann: No, I think it’s pretty clear that Brad is requesting that Toni put some of her stank on him.

Arrid Extra Dry? Brad’s mother still does his shopping. There’s no two ways about it.
Andie
July 27th, 2010 at 4:28 pm [Reply]

@CleverNameIsaac (#19): – That almost made me snarf my coffee all over my monitor. Nicely done.
Jason1981
July 27th, 2010 at 4:30 pm [Reply]

@CleverNameIsaac (#19): “That anger and confusion made me pelvic thrust at everything and everyone!”

You didn’t recently bond with an alien symbiote, did you?
Andrusi
July 27th, 2010 at 4:30 pm [Reply]

You see, Toni is ACTUALLY a fragrance. All along, she’s been a figment of Brad’s imagination, inspired by a scent he couldn’t quite identify. One day he’ll stop in the middle of the sidewalk by an open window and say “Oh. Fresh spaghetti.” and she’ll disappear forever.
BeamStalk
July 27th, 2010 at 4:34 pm [Reply]

So when will Dr. Mike turn green and start tearing stuff up, hopefully Mary being the first thing torn to pieces.
BeamStalk
July 27th, 2010 at 4:36 pm [Reply]

“Whoa, slow down, Ug inventor of the wheel!”

“Whoa slow down, Ogg bringer of fire!”
Poteet
July 27th, 2010 at 4:42 pm [Reply]

CRANKSHAFT — I never worry about Sassy, because she’s in the hands of the Elrodball who never lets cute creatures die. (Okay, cute creatures and creatures who look like mutant cookie dough). But Pickles is in the hands of Batiuk. Good luck, Pickles. I may have to quit following your story.
Ian C.
July 27th, 2010 at 4:42 pm [Reply]

A3G – Pink is Lu Ann’s color just like hideous Avocado Green appears to be yours, Kat!

Baby Blues – Do I even want to know where Hammy’s sticking that electric toothbrush?

Hi & Lois – I’m a little unsettled by a H&L punchline that incorporate post-1950 technology.

Mark Trail – I don’t know what’s worse, the insane look on Sassy’s face, or the fact that she seems to be accompanied by back-up singers who announce her presence in a scene.
Calico
July 27th, 2010 at 4:45 pm [Reply]

@Chowder (#11):
Didn’t an Italian inventor originally come up with the concept of the telephone?
And let’s not forget the Lumiére brothers either!
Poteet
July 27th, 2010 at 4:45 pm [Reply]

@Andrusi (#31): If you end up on the float for that, please remember to throw chocolate.
Sarahindie
July 27th, 2010 at 4:45 pm [Reply]

We are about to see the greatest (by which I mean saddest) Hulk-out ever. Transformed by his rage and some pharmaceutical testing he did in college, Dr. Mike is going to turn into the a superhuman with superstrength, supermoping, and super-unable-to-make-a-decision-without-consulting-an-aged-harridan.

He and Spider-Man can fight. (By which I mean sit on their respective couches and cry softly about their thwarted ambitions.)
Mibbitmaker
July 27th, 2010 at 4:46 pm [Reply]

Josh (re:Blondie): Don’t forget Edison Lee. Or, better still, DO forget Edison Lee (and the “Brilliant Mind” thereof), for your own good. I wish I did.

FW: Dog thinking, “Christ, what an asshole!”

Crank: Calling Mark Trail…

JP: Motto: Your dreams must be crushed. What is this, FW?

MT: Hey, Thinstache McGreasymane, you are NO CUE! He got a kidnapping rap, you really DID THAT!

9CL: sexsexsexsexsexsexsexMOVE ON!!!

Beatle Bailey is Gelman.

BF: Hey, feminism called…. they were not pleased.

Curtis: Michelle, BF is a couple of strips up — if you hurry, you can make it!

DT: God, even the outdoor scene-setting scenery is too smotheringly close-up!

FC: “And not groovy, either!”

NS: Now this one I liked (burping schtick notwithstanding). There’s hope for this storyline yet!

R=R: Squee — not!

GT:
“Marsha, Marsha, Marsha!!”
“Your sister is not named Marsha! You know that!”

MT, again: The “SASSY” we see is actually from the late Phil Hartman’s ghost doing one of his old SNL sketches.
Ed Dravecky
July 27th, 2010 at 4:47 pm [Reply]

A constant police presence, an authorized wiretap, and now a search warrant? This Mark Trail plot suffers from too much law and not nearly enough order. And by order, I mean punching.
Poteet
July 27th, 2010 at 4:48 pm [Reply]

@Joe the Plugger (#20): Thank you. I’m filing that away as evidence for “The Suffering Readers versus Brooke McEldowney.”
Juggleboy
July 27th, 2010 at 4:49 pm [Reply]

For a brief moment, I thought Luann was going to be cool enough to reference the Old Spice Guy. “SWAN DIVE! Into the most awkward odor-related compliment of your life!”
Ray Jay
July 27th, 2010 at 4:50 pm [Reply]

Dr. Mike is hallucinating that he is driving a bus.
nescio
July 27th, 2010 at 4:50 pm [Reply]

MT: Since the “Sassy” in the last panel is not in a word balloon, I am assuming it indicates hissing onomatopoetic flatulence. Hopefully from the dog.
Mibbitmaker
July 27th, 2010 at 4:53 pm [Reply]

Correction:

NS: Now this one I liked (burping schtick notwithstanding). There’s hope for this storyline yet!

R=R: Squee — not!

GT:
“Marsha, Marsha, Marsha!!”
“Your sister is not named Marsha! You know that!”

MT, again: The “SASSY” we see is actually from the late Phil Hartman’s ghost doing one of his old SNL sketches.
Digger Tract
July 27th, 2010 at 4:56 pm [Reply]

I am grateful to Josh and all you Mudges for all your snark on Luann and 9CL. I’ve never read either strip, and thanks to you, I never will, but I must confess that for a long time I really thought they were the same strip—I mean, how many daily strips about unlikable, morally blind, delusionally self-centered, brain dead Aryans having icky non-sex could there be?
ArtisticPlatypus
July 27th, 2010 at 4:59 pm [Reply]

I haven’t followed the mary worth plotline too closely, so i only know that dr. mike is getting psychoanalyzed by mary in his own office. This explains why he is angry and confused, but could anyone explain to me why he’s air-humping?
Baka Gaijin
July 27th, 2010 at 5:05 pm [Reply]

Mark Trail: Sassy, getting an eyeful of Rusty after a few precious days (hours?) of seeing normal people, is ready to disgorge all the meat and dog poop she ate at Crazy Sally’s. I can’t blame her. To be quite honest, I myself am dry heaving at the thought of seeing that face at point-blank range.
JD
July 27th, 2010 at 5:10 pm [Reply]

Are you sure Blondie’s not just another slightly updated re-run of a strip featuring a broken typewriter or carrier pigeon?
AndyL
July 27th, 2010 at 5:11 pm [Reply]

I don’t understand the modern Edison hate that some people have. While Edison was a ruthless businessman, especially as he got older, right now it seems to be very fashionable to vilify him. It’s true that his name was attached to patents that were developed by people working under him, but that’s a common practice, both then and now. There are a number of very clever inventions attributed to Edison before he had people working for him that are undoubtedly his own, and first hand accounts suggest that he was actively involved in a number of the inventions coming out of his workshop, especially in the early years.

On the other hand there’s a current fashion to romanticize his rival Tesla. The truth is that, while he was brilliant and very well educated, he was also an elitist that felt he was superior to the common man and had no problem explaining as much to the common man. (It’s probably related that he was also a be proponent of eugenics.)
He was trying to exploit his inventions for profit just as much as Edison was, he just wasn’t as good at it. He spent a surprising amount of time trying to invent electrically powered weapons of mass destruction so he could sell them to the army and restore his fortune.

Both of them were real people who had both virtues and faults. It’s very weird how people have this strange tendency to turn them into a storybook hero/villain pair.
Canaduck
July 27th, 2010 at 5:12 pm [Reply]

Are cats supposed to be blue?
bats :[
July 27th, 2010 at 5:14 pm [Reply]

@Canaduck (#51): wouldn’t you be, if Crankshaft were your owner?
AndyL
July 27th, 2010 at 5:15 pm [Reply]

Hey, check it out Dagwood’s a lefty!
Uncle Lumpy
July 27th, 2010 at 5:16 pm [Reply]

Focus, Tesla! The voices are not real! Pay attention to the magnet!
Nina
July 27th, 2010 at 5:18 pm [Reply]

@Digger Tract (#46): Sadly, only Luann is offering icky non-sex. Brooke over at 9CL has been drawing non-stop sex for a month and a half, and while technically we are spared the gruesome details of the actual intercourse, we have seen more lovingly-drawn breasts, thighs and rear ends in this infuriating, retrogressive and painfully psychologically revealing story-arc than in JP and RMMD put together over the last two years. I am now reading it, in spite of my blistering loathing, in the spirit of a marathon– how much more of this can there possibly be? How many more times can Grandma Tits and the Austrian guy have sex in a single morning, in Brooke-world? It’s like a train-wreck. (Excuse me. I’ve been getting steadily more furious for months).
AndyL
July 27th, 2010 at 5:19 pm [Reply]

I’m glad Josh mentioned punching. I thought Dr. Mike was doing some sort of exaggerated pelvic thrust.
Bootsy
July 27th, 2010 at 5:19 pm [Reply]

@queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#12):

I too look forward to cute puppehs and kittehs and all the other squee you lavish on us. thanks. I have grown sad at seeing poor oiled brown pelicans every day in the local paper. Yours cheer me up.
Al of the Christian Singles Jungle Patrol
July 27th, 2010 at 5:29 pm [Reply]

@Calico (#36): It doesn’t matter who “invents” something; all that matters is who “patents” it. The telephone is a wonderful example — Bell showed up at the USPO a few hours before Gray and got all the credit, but Gray’s invention is far closer to what we use as a “phone” today.
Walker of Dog
July 27th, 2010 at 5:31 pm [Reply]

@AndyL (#50): aka Mozart-Salieri Syndrome.
Al of the Christian Singles Jungle Patrol
July 27th, 2010 at 5:31 pm [Reply]

@Digger Tract (#46): Well, there’s also FOOB, but that’s Canadian.
Al of the Christian Singles Jungle Patrol
July 27th, 2010 at 5:33 pm [Reply]

@AndyL (#50): Yea, but did Tesla ever electrocute an elephant?
Fashion Police
July 27th, 2010 at 5:33 pm [Reply]

@Rocky Stoneaxe (#yy125) said:

Mr. Bolle’s versatility as an artist is undisputed.

Which is precisely why his work on Apartment 3-G is so disappointing.
Dennis
July 27th, 2010 at 5:43 pm [Reply]

@BeamStalk (#32):
MIKE SMASH!!!
Fashion Police
July 27th, 2010 at 5:51 pm [Reply]

Although Ms. Kitty-Kat is correct about Mrs. Powers’ need to get over pink, we continue to have difficulty imagining that anyone would listen to someone who dresses like Mary Worth, only worse.
skippykawakami
July 27th, 2010 at 5:52 pm [Reply]

… And that IT guy, who’s name may or may not be “Edison”, is the closest Blondie will ever come to featuring an Asian character.
Aviatrix
July 27th, 2010 at 5:53 pm [Reply]

Blondie: The true service provided at the CC site is “Josh thinks about the comics so you don’t have to.” Before I came here, I assumed the IT guy was named Edison.

MW: I hope he has Mark Trail fever and Mary’s mustache catches his eye.
skippykawakami
July 27th, 2010 at 5:55 pm [Reply]

Sadly, Toni, television has lied to you again. Brad may smell like “the man your man could smell like”, but he’s still Brad. And he’ll never be on a horse.
Ed Dravecky
July 27th, 2010 at 5:58 pm [Reply]

People criticize LeBron James for taking an hour to say “Suck it, Cleveland! I’m going to Miami.” If only they knew that Edna O’Malley was taking at least nine months to say “Juliette, you were conceived out of wedlock and your real father is a former Nazi” they’d cut LeBron some slack.
Calico
July 27th, 2010 at 6:01 pm [Reply]

@Al of the Christian Singles Jungle Patrol (#58):
Very interesting! : )
Could we perhaps say the same about the original Mac database vs. MS’s Access for Windows?
dhkendall
July 27th, 2010 at 6:04 pm [Reply]

Has Jack Elrod started to write for Crankshaft now? (He just can’t let a story arc about lost pets go!) I was more hoping that Batiuk would start writing for Mark Trail, maybe Rusty would die of mange or something …
tube sock
July 27th, 2010 at 6:05 pm [Reply]

@survivor (#23): FW: What are you writing on my chart?
Nurse: Just your prescription for Sodium pentathol, Pancurium bromide & potassium chloride
Violet
July 27th, 2010 at 6:05 pm [Reply]

If I were in this scenario and the guy I was seeing characterized me as a “sexy fragrance that’s all his own,” I would not even wait for him to slow the car down before leaping out in abject horror. I do feel, however, that the time investment required to vomit all over his upholstery first would be totally worth it.
Ed Dravecky
July 27th, 2010 at 6:08 pm [Reply]

So now Funky has made a therapy dog cry? If there is any decency left in the world, that physical therapist is forging Funky’s signature on a DNR order.
tube sock
July 27th, 2010 at 6:10 pm [Reply]

@Ray Jay (#43): Would that be a school bus filled with screaming middle schoolers?
This Guy
July 27th, 2010 at 6:13 pm [Reply]

@AndyL (#53): Hey, don’t try to foist him off on us. My theory is that he has no idea how to use the mouse, but he believes it’s somehow vital to the computer’s functioning: a kind of talisman. He keeps the space to the right of the keyboard clear so he can burn incense and carve mystic runes into the desk surface.

But here’s what I really want to know: why in the Samuel Langhorne Hell does everyone in Blondie stand hunched forward and with bent knees? Is it a secret plot by chiropractors to get more business?
gnome de blog
July 27th, 2010 at 6:15 pm [Reply]

9CL: She’d better cough up a fish-slapping bear.
Petal Metal
July 27th, 2010 at 6:20 pm [Reply]

Oh, I think we all know who Dr. Mike wants to punch.
GarrisonSkunk
July 27th, 2010 at 6:20 pm [Reply]

Crankshaft : Is that Crankshaft cat supposed to be Les’s Le Chat Bleu?

MW: For tonight’s proformance of Mary Worth, the part of Dr Mike will be played by Star Trek’s Walter Koenig. “I vas angvy und convuesed! I still am! You are ze cause of all my pain Mary Verth! If I had nucuvar veppons, I vould fire them at you vight now!”
Meatbag
July 27th, 2010 at 6:22 pm [Reply]

MW: Dr. Mike can’t properly physically express how angry and confused he is, so he’s decided to just pelvic thrust repeatedly.
Digger Tract
July 27th, 2010 at 6:22 pm [Reply]

@This Guy (#75) re: Blondiverse posture: Ergonomically speaking, it’s the best way to absorb the blows from Mr. Dither’s beatings.
Austria
July 27th, 2010 at 6:25 pm [Reply]

BaBl: …..Maybe I’m just horrifyingly dirty-minded, but…..man, first the dungeon thing, now this. Hammie’s parents are in for a few surprises when he hits puberty.

MT: I think I love this. SASSY is now a sound effect. Check it. SASSY

R=R: …No….no, not really…

Wiz: …..Okay, yeah, that’s it. It’s official, yaoi has forever corrupted my mind. Curse you, Internet!! *shakes fist*

Jeremy’s Parents: “BAAH KIDS THESE DAYS WITH THE FACEPAGE AND THE BOOKSPACE”
Mustang
July 27th, 2010 at 6:27 pm [Reply]

CS – Josh, I think that missing more than a few meals is the very least of what that pathetically sad and skinny cat has had to endure while living with a man who purposely runs over peoples’ mailboxes and blows up barbecues for fun. Kidding! I love that lovable old Crankshaft.
Pseudo3D
July 27th, 2010 at 6:29 pm [Reply]

A3G: Hey Kat! The 1970s called. They want their hairstyle back.

Garfield: Wasn’t there some famous infomercial that began with something like this?

FC: Go on, Mr. Keane…take him out to the deep end, and leave him there.

MF: Sorry, all the right-leaning political cartoonists already thought of that issue months ago.
JupiterPluvius
July 27th, 2010 at 6:31 pm [Reply]

Whoa! Slow down there, Jethro Tull!

That’s what a true Luddite would say.
Pseudo3D
July 27th, 2010 at 6:34 pm [Reply]

Also:

MT: What if it just looks like your dog, you little monster?!

FW: “Patient still bitter. Move onto shock therapy.”
queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
July 27th, 2010 at 6:37 pm [Reply]

@Bootsy (#57): d’awwwwwww. I’m honored.
Digger
July 27th, 2010 at 6:39 pm [Reply]

Thanks so much for posting today’s Luann. Now I have to scrape vomit off my monitor screen.
blackgoat
July 27th, 2010 at 6:40 pm [Reply]

MT: Sassy has the same deranged, mindless look as Rusty. Thank goodness Mr. Mustache’s female companion wasn’t bright enough to throw her in another room. Fists, don’t fail Mark now.

MW: “I just want a chance to reconnect with my father. maybe we could go fishing; I’ve always loved fishing. Maybe we could just go romp in a meadow.”
queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
July 27th, 2010 at 6:42 pm [Reply]

@Pseudo3D (#83): ixnay on the MFay. The uckDay is on the annedbay istbay.
queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
July 27th, 2010 at 6:43 pm [Reply]

istLay, that is. derp.
A Dude in Dallas
July 27th, 2010 at 6:45 pm [Reply]

Luann: Hey, Toni! Tits or GTFO! At this rate Jon Arbuckle is going to get laid before Brad.
Roman Fingers
July 27th, 2010 at 6:51 pm [Reply]

@Écureuil Écumant (y#54): I always assumed that Pluggerdom was a non-denominational condition. Or, maybe the good sister was trying for a drive-by conversion.
Josh
July 27th, 2010 at 6:52 pm [Reply]

@AndyL (#50): Hey, man, David Bowie portrayed Tesla in the movie. Edison can’t outdo that!

Josh
Rocky Stoneaxe
July 27th, 2010 at 7:08 pm [Reply]

Starting Wednesday, July 28…

CARTOONING WORKSHOP WITH BOB WEBER:

http://fairfield.patch.com/events/cartooning-workshop-with-bob-weber
Écureuil Écumant
July 27th, 2010 at 7:15 pm [Reply]

@skippykawakami (#65): I dunno about full-on Asian, but I could definitely go with Pilipino. Edison isn’t that uncommon a Pilipino first name. Of course, it’s pronounced Ed-i-song.
Bob Weber Jr.
July 27th, 2010 at 7:19 pm [Reply]

@Rocky Stoneaxe (#94):
That’s my Dad, So if you go say hi for me!
Rocky Stoneaxe
July 27th, 2010 at 7:20 pm [Reply]

@Josh (#93):

But Spencer Tracy’s Edison trumps David Bowie’s Tesla! Or have you forgotten that Tracy played TAE in Edison, the Man (1940)?
demoncat
July 27th, 2010 at 7:26 pm [Reply]

dr. mike is angry and confused because he one fell into mary’s web of love and two he does not know how with Mary now acting as shrink how to recover and try and stop mary. Tori is trying to tell Brad she wants him to get his own stuff including cologne for she likes a man who smells his own way. amazing given how old Blondie is that Dagwood even can use a computer let alone tell the it guy to slow down to avoid work. pickles is trying to get away from the evil that is crankshaft for even he has enough taste to avoid crankshaft slolwy sucking all the joy of life .
Paddy
July 27th, 2010 at 7:29 pm [Reply]

Oh man, the sight of a lonely, heartbroken Crankshaft in panels one and two makes me unfathomably happy. If I could melt that image down and inject it directly into my veins I’d never feel depressed ever again.
Joe Blevins
July 27th, 2010 at 7:29 pm [Reply]

LUANN: Fortunately, Brad & Toni are in a PT Cruiser headed for Westview.

‘SHAFT: Funny how pets’ names may give us a hint as to the character of their owners. “Sassy,” for instance, is evidence of Rusty’s curious yet undeniable joie de vivre and the jaunty, heedless impudence with which he goes through life, hideous though he may be. Crankshaft, meanwhile, has never experienced joie de anything and has named his cat “Pickles,” which suggests something sour, bumpy, and soaked in brine.
This Guy
July 27th, 2010 at 7:37 pm [Reply]

@Rocky Stoneaxe (#97): Well, I sure didn’t forget that, because I never knew it.
Bryan
July 27th, 2010 at 7:38 pm [Reply]

Dagwood: I had this job interview today that involved three hours of aptitude tests. One of the tests was word problems. Nothing too difficult, but the questions must have been written back in the 70’s. Here’s an example:

A man has a job feeding punch cards into a computer. He processes a certain amount of cards on Monday and three times that amount on Tuesday. On Wednesday, he processes 4,000 cards. The total amount of cards processed for all three days is 16,000. How many cards did he process on Tuesday?

Punch cards? And the rest of the questions were like that. “How long would it take three typists to produce a report given a certain length and a certain word per minute rate?” It was just word problems: strip the little story and distractions and it’s just a simple equation, but I was amused by the archaic references.
Rocky Stoneaxe
July 27th, 2010 at 7:41 pm [Reply]

@Bryan (#102): Don’t keep us in suspense — did you get the job?
bourbon babe, unbuckled
July 27th, 2010 at 7:42 pm [Reply]

@tube sock (#74): I would not be surprised to learn that Mary, in full-on meddle, sounds much like a bus full of screaming middle-schoolers.

At this moment, Mike is desperately re-enacting a key scene from The Sweet Hereafter. But in his version, of course, he’s aiming for the icy lake.
Rusty
July 27th, 2010 at 7:43 pm [Reply]

FW: Therapy dogs don’t bother with whiplash patients doing some light PT. Cancer patients, on the other hand….
bourbon babe, unbuckled
July 27th, 2010 at 7:48 pm [Reply]

@Rusty (#105): Maybe it’s one of those dogs that can smell cancer. Of course, any such dog in Westview would keel over from sensory overload.
Rocky Stoneaxe
July 27th, 2010 at 7:51 pm [Reply]

@AndyL (#53): Either that or “Edison” is a lefty! (Or were you referring to Dagwood’s politics?)
Écureuil Écumant
July 27th, 2010 at 7:52 pm [Reply]

@100 Joe Blevins said:

Crankshaft, meanwhile, has never experienced joie de anything

Oh, don’t be so hard on Crunk. He exhibits a marvelous joie du lugubre.
UncleJeff
July 27th, 2010 at 7:57 pm [Reply]

My favorite Edison story is about when TAE was involved in a battle with George Westinghouse over whether DC or AC should be the standard for municipal electrical systems.
Edison electrocuted the elephant using Westinghouse equipment to show the lethal effects of AC and then staged a media campaign promoting the use of AC for execution of human killers.
He suggested the newspapers call electrocution “Westinghousing”.
Ed Dravecky
July 27th, 2010 at 8:00 pm [Reply]

Rex Morgan in three weeks: “Good news, Mr. Mayor! Your HMO forces us to use a lab in Ohio and they swapped your file with another patient’s. You don’t have prostate cancer but now I have to call some poor bastard named Winkerbean and give him the bad news.”
ZombieCalvin
July 27th, 2010 at 8:00 pm [Reply]

@Bryan (#102): “The living dead don’t NEED to solve word problems.”
Bryan
July 27th, 2010 at 8:01 pm [Reply]

@Rocky Stoneaxe (#103): Don’t keep us in suspense — did you get the job?

Oh, I won’t know for several weeks. I was one of the first people they interviewed so it will be awhile. But thanks for asking, though.
bbofun
July 27th, 2010 at 8:02 pm [Reply]

Did anyone else wish that the last panel in Judge Parker today would be “I wanted to be…A LUMBERJACK!” (cue music)
queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
July 27th, 2010 at 8:06 pm [Reply]

@bbofun (#113): *snurk!*
mgm
July 27th, 2010 at 8:07 pm [Reply]

Oh boy, all the banter about in Crankshaft about the cat’s hunger is a really thrilling storyline. Since it’s Crankshaft, this is probably the end of it. I’m just glad this storyline isn’t in Gil Thorp or Mark Trail, as I fear we’d be hearing about the cat’s insatiable hunger for weeks: “Do you think that the cat will be hungry soon?”, “That cat sure was hungry”, “How hungry do cats get?”, etc.
bbofun
July 27th, 2010 at 8:11 pm [Reply]

Also, in re Funky-

FW: What are you writing on my chart?

(next panel, view of chart, with nurse finishing writing)-PATIENT IS AN ASSH–
bunivasal
July 27th, 2010 at 8:19 pm [Reply]

Chris Cassatt has apparently decided to get the last laugh by advertising Shoe on Comics Curmudgeon.
Peter Hillock
July 27th, 2010 at 8:36 pm [Reply]

MW: Speaking of bad pop Freudianism, that is one mother (as it were) of a necktie! Hint: if the long end dangles down below the bottom of your zipper, re-tie the knot, or stop buying your ties at the Big ‘n’ Tall store.
mr 12 oz can
July 27th, 2010 at 8:37 pm [Reply]

@bourbon babe, unbuckled (#106): when a person is on there last legs you can smell it you dont have to be a dog even a super dog like andy
commodorejohn
July 27th, 2010 at 8:39 pm [Reply]

@Bryan (#102): A man has a job feeding punch cards into a computer. How badly does he want to get access to a time-sharing system so he can actually interact with the machine and try that new “ADVENTURE” thing he’s heard some of the college kids talking about? Please give your answer in potential child sacrifices.
Buck Ripsnort
July 27th, 2010 at 8:41 pm [Reply]

@Digger Tract (#8): When Dr. Banner gets stressed, he turns green. When Dr. Mike gets stressed, his couch/lazyboy turns green. Very simple.
bats :[
July 27th, 2010 at 8:41 pm [Reply]

@Rocky Stoneaxe (#97): And Mickey Rooney played Edison as a boy/teen about the same time as the Specer Tracey version.
Shawn S.
July 27th, 2010 at 8:42 pm [Reply]

@AndyL (#50):

The Prestige made Edison our enemy. The real enemy though was Hugh Jackman…you have an energy-to-matter converter/duplicator and you use it for your magic show? And killing yourself? Sigh.
This Guy
July 27th, 2010 at 8:44 pm [Reply]

@Bryan (#102): The guy in the problem must have gotten his position through Doc Brown’s job placement agency.
Bizarro Stormy
July 27th, 2010 at 8:49 pm [Reply]

So why, exactly, can Dagwood’s IT guy rotate his neck 180 degrees?
Matt B
July 27th, 2010 at 9:05 pm [Reply]

That or Crankshaft tried feeding the cat his pills this morning, and then took a dose of dry cat food with his morning Ensure.
Citric
July 27th, 2010 at 9:22 pm [Reply]

MW: Air Humps.
AMSTERDANG
July 27th, 2010 at 9:37 pm [Reply]

If Brad holds up two fingers for Toni to smell her own fragrance, I am quitting the internet. For realz this time!
Andy L
July 27th, 2010 at 9:45 pm [Reply]

@Rocky Stoneaxe (#107): Dagwood’s politics do not fall neatly onto the conventional left-right spectrum. He cares less about economic policy and more about enormous sandwiches.
Thomas B.
July 27th, 2010 at 9:48 pm [Reply]

A warrant? I thought rare and endangered things were only featured on Sundays. Meanwhile it looks like the dog-napper hid Sassy in his liquor cabinet. Realizing that an encounter with Rusty was only moments away, the ingenious dog lapped up a just enough Southern Comfort to brace herself for the horrific facial contortion known only as: Joyful Rusty.
Andy L
July 27th, 2010 at 9:53 pm [Reply]

Actually, I would argue that Crankshaft’s lost cat is one of the more compelling stories on the comics page today.
Mark Trail’s lost dog would compare if that feature weren’t constantly doing lost pet stories and resolving them by punching some guy in the face.
It’s not a year long flashback, so it’s better than 9CL. (And besides, cats care little enough for real moral dilemmas. They won’t tolerate false ones.)
It’s better than Luann because we don’t know for sure that Pickles is fixed, and therefore might possibly have sex with another cat, or at least lick one.
Dick Tracy and Popeye seem to be between stories, and besides, those two features are too nonsensical to compete with a story about a blue cat.
Gil Thorp is running a GOLF story, and Mary Worth has descended into uncomfortable madness.

Given all that, I’m going to look forward to learning about what happens to Pickles the Blue Cat.
4 8 15 16 23 42
July 27th, 2010 at 10:01 pm [Reply]

Not so fast, Doc! Turning into the Hulk won’t save you from Mary’s unstoppable meddling! You can TRY to smash your way out of this, but in the end, you WILL call Jenna back and exchange pleasantries! Then, you WILL return in a few weeks to eat some of Mary’s homemade food blobs while Jenna tells Mary at length about how happy you two are now that you’re engaged. Sorry, Hulk. On the bright side, your purple pants will make you the best dressed person at the next pool party…
cheech wizard
July 27th, 2010 at 10:04 pm [Reply]

@AMSTERDANG (#128): No, he’s going to lift up his leg and give her a shot of eau de Brad. Hey, she’s the one who brought up the topic of “a fragrance all his own.”
queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
July 27th, 2010 at 10:04 pm [Reply]

@AMSTERDANG (#128): if that happens, I’ll gladly take over your internets.
zerowolf
July 27th, 2010 at 10:14 pm [Reply]

GT: Mary Worth did the overbearing sports dad plotline back in late 2008.
zerowolf
July 27th, 2010 at 10:16 pm [Reply]

Crankshaft is actually showing a genuine concern over another living creature? Is that the hoofbeats of the Apocalypse I hear coming?
AMC
July 27th, 2010 at 10:17 pm [Reply]

MW – “That doesn’t mean everyone will hurt you Mike. Just think about it – if everyone in the world lined up and punched you as hard as they could, one punch per second, you’d be 93 years old by the time the first billion people had popped you in the face! Over five billion people would never have gotten the chance to hurt you, and you’d probably be dead by then, even if you hadn’t been punched a billion times.”

“Does that help, Mike?”
zerowolf
July 27th, 2010 at 10:19 pm [Reply]

A3G: Yet the only major difference between Luann’s outfit and Kat’s is the color….
Col. Havoc
July 27th, 2010 at 10:19 pm [Reply]

@flodnak (#15): Excellent. I read your comment to the Blond and she laughed, heartily, before returning to her wistful, old-spice inspired dream-state.
Blue Castle
July 27th, 2010 at 10:20 pm [Reply]

Maybe in Blondie, they were going for Eddington, but someone didn’t get it and changed it to Edison?
zerowolf
July 27th, 2010 at 10:20 pm [Reply]

MT: Go for the throat Sassy, go for the throat.
Poteet
July 27th, 2010 at 10:28 pm [Reply]

@Andy L (#131): My problem is that I am already worried about what will happen to Pickles, and I wouldn’t put it past Batiuk to run him over with a car. I’m afraid the story will become TOO compelling. *sniff* Be careful, Pickles!
Col. Havoc
July 27th, 2010 at 10:36 pm [Reply]

@Ed Dravecky (#110): COTW, or at least a place on the float…
Toby Bartels
July 27th, 2010 at 10:47 pm [Reply]

>Crankshaft forgot to feed his cat, so it ran away.

Wait, are you snarking? Because that’s what I though the story was supposed to be.
Baka Gaijin
July 27th, 2010 at 11:02 pm [Reply]

@bourbon babe, unbuckled (#106): Good one, babe!
Johnny Knuckles
July 27th, 2010 at 11:05 pm [Reply]

Blondie IT kid: “You’re back in business.” Dagwood’s online “business” involves hidden cams in Cookie’s sorority house.
Rana
July 27th, 2010 at 11:06 pm [Reply]

I wonder if Funky’s got a bit of bone marrow floating around loose, making him act out in atypical fashion.

Oh, wait. I forgot that we’re talking about Funky. If marrow-induced psychosis was influencing him, he’d be acting cheerful and happy!
Poteet
July 27th, 2010 at 11:19 pm [Reply]

@cheech wizard (#133): Yes, that was funny, but you owe me for a bucket of brain bleach.
Poteet
July 27th, 2010 at 11:22 pm [Reply]

It’s only Tuesday night and already I’ve seen enough good comments to fill the float next Monday. This is some funny place.
Farley's Revenge
July 27th, 2010 at 11:41 pm [Reply]

MW: Dr. Mike needs to resign from this strip and move over to Mark Trail, where he could get a gig working a Mark’s punching understudy. He’d get all the granola he could eat, occasionally he’d have to pet-sit the cookie dough monster, but one of the perks would be he’d have frequent access to Cherry. They could dance next to the swamp under the light of the full moon and giant ducks could poop on them.

Hey…It would be preferable to being analyzed by a biddy in a blazer.

RMMD: Most docs I’ve known flat don’t have the time to visit the bathroom let alone chat with their spouses. That’s not a problem for Rex, who apparently has but one patient in his “practice”.
Thomas B.
July 27th, 2010 at 11:42 pm [Reply]

@Nekrotzar (#4): I think “Hronk” is the sound you are looking for.
mollificent
July 27th, 2010 at 11:57 pm [Reply]

@bbofun (#113): oh my god yes.
mollificent
July 28th, 2010 at 12:00 am [Reply]

@Poteet (#149): I was just thinking that. :)
West of the Equator
July 28th, 2010 at 12:22 am [Reply]

Toni: No, you need a sexy fragrance that’s all your own.

Brad: I have one. It’s called ‘you’.

Toni: Whoa! Slow down Edison! It isn’t even noon yet!!
Sister Sestina
July 28th, 2010 at 12:24 am [Reply]

OVERBOARD: It took a while to work out that the brown figure in panel 3 was supposed to be a dog walking away on his hindlegs and looking back over his shoulder. A very long and ithyphallically squicky while.
Walker of Dog
July 28th, 2010 at 12:36 am [Reply]

7/28 strips:

A3G: Kat looks at Margo’s neck and sees an unsuccessful fashion statement. Margo looks at Kat’s neck and sees a dotted line marked “Cut here”.

FC: PJ mocks God by attempting to disrupt the tidal cycle.

JP: At some point June is going to have to ask the question she’s been avoiding: “So, you super-glued those cans to your hands, didn’t you?”

MT: As third-panel Rusty begins yet another transmogrification, little Sassy, the animal that should not be, sits up and begs for death.

MW: “Listen up, Mike: I didn’t get where I am today – a respected psychiatrist with a wall of awards and citations – by listening to that kind of loser-talk.”

S-M: Just when you think the Puppet Master can’t get any more handsome…

FW: Funky attends services at Our Lady of the Drooping Steeple.
Poteet
July 28th, 2010 at 12:55 am [Reply]

7/28

FW — “Your therapist also asked me to tell her exactly where you’d be driving for the next few days, and when you’d be in specific locations. She had kind of a determined look on her face. She must really care about your condition!”

MT — Good lord, Rusty, listen before it’s too late — don’t morph into Mark! One of him is enough!

MW– Heeelp, I need a Dramamine…
Poteet
July 28th, 2010 at 1:16 am [Reply]

7/28

LUANN — Yes, Toni, I couldn’t agree more. My own signature fragrance is Cutter Insect Repellent with a dash of sunscreen.

9CL — Yay, the Last Day is finally over! Only eight more months to go with this storyline, if we’re lucky!
Poteet
July 28th, 2010 at 1:22 am [Reply]

7/28 A3G — Margo, after that “spinster aunt” remark, you have my full permission to slug her. Hard.
bats :[
July 28th, 2010 at 1:27 am [Reply]

Well, one of two things:
1. there isn’t much of a readership here for “Between Friends” (boy, I can’t blame you); or
2. people read at a rate that doesn’t lead to bizarre mistakes.

I could’ve sworn that the 27 July BF read as this… (not really up on the jargon). It didn’t explain the illustration, though — maybe the spasticity of it all confused me, too.
Master Softheart
July 28th, 2010 at 2:10 am [Reply]

Today is a good day in comics:

Luann: This was moderately funny, and less disturbingly, distastefully creepy than the usual near-sex jokes the Brad storylines offer.

Sally Forth: Message comic that manages to be touching for people who know Faye and funny for the casual reader. Points to CES.

Diana! I have to say, I expected her to be a bit more active and heroic after her escape. Maybe superheroism is just something that you have to work up to… starting with some low grade breaking and entering.

MT: The operatic tragedy of a mutant troll and his blob of cookie dough reaches its touching climax.

On the other hand, the reunion with Sassy seems to have temporarily made Rusty less physically repulsive, so that’s good.

FW: His physical therapist is clearly hoping that making the injured, disoriented, concussed alcoholic drive again immediately will resolve both of their problems with less insurance paperwork. I can see the attraction of that treatment plan.

JP: Humanizing Sam Driver? Breaking the glacial crust of condescension and contempt that emotionally isolate him in order reveal desires, regrets, and hopes long passed by? I never thought I’d say this, but forget oversexed Neddy and the whiny French kid – I want to follow up on this!

GT: After a few days of character development, family drama, and gratuitous insults of Gil (because college and professional coaches don’t lose or tolerate anyone who does), we’re back to dada sports images.
Anonymous
July 28th, 2010 at 2:16 am [Reply]

The total lack of a joke in today’s crankshaft has made me laugh harder than anything I’ve read in the comics in nearly a month. His sad resignation in panel two, the rediscovery of the cat… I laughed for about two minutes at the pain of the daily minutiae in his life. I’m a bad person, but he’s worse, I think is my point.
Crankenstank
July 28th, 2010 at 2:20 am [Reply]

Even better, Dagwood’s computer screen appears to be one of those cardboard prop computers you see in furniture stores to try to demonstrate one of many potential uses for a desk. Dag will soon be back to his important job of play-typing, right after the pretend computer guy goes on to his next appointment, tying a string back onto the can so the Dithers & Co. telecommunication system gets back “online”.
Rana
July 28th, 2010 at 2:21 am [Reply]

JP: How long have these two known each other? Only now is he revealing what he was like in high school?

Yeesh.
Anna
July 28th, 2010 at 2:36 am [Reply]

Reading this blog has actually made me want to follow the Mary Worth storyline. So much so that I am currently searching “Mary Worth” in order to read the latest installment. So good work, you’ve made me care about a comic I’d never even heard of before.
Just some guy
July 28th, 2010 at 2:37 am [Reply]

This is the new comic strip, “Crankshaft minus Pickles”
Farley's Revenge
July 28th, 2010 at 2:39 am [Reply]

FW: Why does the PT want the Funkster to get behind the wheel again? Is the therapist aware that he crashes frequently, which means continued employment for him/her? Or is it because the PT is so bloody sick of his whining-And I relate with this-that getting him behind the wheel again when he has limited mobility ups his chances of another wreck and maybe Masky McDeath will make a return appearance. Sure the PT will then have one less client but at least s/he won’t have Funky, and that counts a whole lot.

9CL: At the rate this story is dragging along, Miscellaneous E’s upcoming pregnancy with the Nazi’s kid will last so long that the kid will be entering high school when she’s born.

Sherman’s Lagoon: As a quilter, the idea of sharks quilting had me LOLing.
Farley's Revenge
July 28th, 2010 at 2:43 am [Reply]

@Anna (#165):Your life will never be the same now that the Meddler has you in her grip. I suspect an apology will be in order for corrupting you but misery loves company and all that. On the other hand, reading the strip will provide you with many, many opportunities to vie for Comment of the Week. So take heart!
Mibbitmaker
July 28th, 2010 at 2:45 am [Reply]

7/28:

MW: Mary is a witch — she made Dr. Mike and his couch levitate! Scary!

Edison Lee: Yep, you’re a real Ken Nordine there, Eddy!

H&L: Regression, Trixie.

FC: Ol’ BP PJ.

GA: Everyone’s an idiot in this strip nowadays.
This Guy
July 28th, 2010 at 3:33 am [Reply]

7/28
9CL: Why the hell is he talking in a different font? Did his voice modulator short out, causing him to revert to the primitive, mechanical tone he was constructed with?

MW: ACTING!

OBH: Definitive proof that cats can sense evil. You see, Ruthie, it was never the cat who was your enemy.

Heart: “Alternate ending–Luke’s father is Chewbacca!?”

MC: “…and liver!”

R==R: I may have said this before, but the young androgyne Clem has the craziest fucking hair I’ve ever seen, and I’m an anime fan.

H&J: I can’t tell when this strip has full-on reruns versus reused art. It’s like a constrained comic, only he won’t admit to it.

S-M: So the Puppet Master is an evil leprechaun?
Roman Fingers
July 28th, 2010 at 3:51 am [Reply]

MT1: The worry about Sassy affected Rusty the worst. He ages 10 years between panel 1 and panel 3.

MT2: Yesterday, Sassy heard familiar voices in the next room, and broke free to escape the torture and horror she had suffered. Today, we found out that Rusty caught her anyway.

MW: “No, Mary, it’s no use. My father Aldo died in a car accident a couple of years ago…”

Zits: C’mon ‘rents, it’s not like you ever told your parents that you know how to make a bong out of a potato.

GT: Old Man Peake announces he found the ball, but not before stepping on it.

Luann: “Yes, Brad, I have just the scent in mind for you. It’s called ‘SASSY’ ”

9CL: The Longest Day–it’s not just an Academy Award winning film anymore. And that’s a real shame.

DtM: It’s the same problem Nixon had-the coverup was worse than the crime.
Jack Parsons
July 28th, 2010 at 4:53 am [Reply]

MW Wed. 7/28 – The hair is supposed to be grey, the face is not supposed to be one of the Greys.
queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
July 28th, 2010 at 7:17 am [Reply]

JP: JAZZ CANS!
Mela
July 28th, 2010 at 7:26 am [Reply]

Middle of the week:

9CL: Is it too early to be happy that McEldowney decided to remember that there was a plot between all of this sex and ship Mr. Nicey Nazi off to his inevitable doom? I’m thinking yes.

A3G: Margo scoffs at your weak attempt at insulting her. It will make her ruination of you that much more sweet.

Archie: I swear that Burger King made one like that during the “carbs are evil” diet trend.

Cleats: Thanks for using collage techniques – it brought some of the bizarre surrealism that this strip does back.

ReFOOB: Lynn tries to make her ex look like a child-threatening monster and instead makes him admirably honest. Although her hate for her son is still on course, so I have to give her that.

FW: I don’t care if it’s the character or the artist – JUST DIE ALREADY.

GA: I feel bad for this cop. He’s the only resident of this strip that doesn’t look inbred, brain damaged, or elderly, yet he’s stuck trying to mediate the latest wacky dispute over a stolen cookie or “what to do” about the darkies who moved in last week. If this whole back & forth with the maid/nurse/whatever leads him to finally take that step he’d always expected and eat a bullet, I won’t be surprised.

H&J: No one uses the phrase “minor misunderstanding” without being sarcastic or intentionally slippery. Judging by her generally sadistic demeanor and the giant pot o’ mystery chow, I’m betting this misunderstanding was, “Is it wrong to kill and eat the mailman?”

MW: That first panel has the framing of a Batman villain’s lair. How fitting.

PBS: Cute. Best of the day.

Rubes: There’s a car sitting alone in a church lot out in Ohio. Clearly, the man behind the wheel is up to no good. Aim there.

Zits: That last panel sums up the artistic viewpoint of this strip towards teenagers, the characters’ viewpoint, and the desired audience viewpoint. But the fact that it’s entirely unconscious and we’re supposed to emphasize with Mama Miserable there kills any hope assocaited with this revelation.
Bryan
July 28th, 2010 at 7:26 am [Reply]

Mary Worth: In the second panel, she’s doing her best Al Pacino. “Every time I try to get out, they keep pulling me back in!“
queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
July 28th, 2010 at 7:44 am [Reply]

HotC: Dr VON Scott! (oops, sorry, rong movie.)

Luann: panel 3, teh hawtness.

MG&Groan strikes again.

PBS: I’m assuming that’s coffee?

RwO & 6C make a pair again today.

Zits: while I question the ability to hide a ticket on a learners permit from ‘rents, the last comment by Connie is going to be massive snarkbait by a few ‘mudges that I can think of.

SB: well, there’s a trope we’ve never seen before. *rolls eyes*

OTH: o goodness. They went there.

Lio: perhaps badminton, instead? Unlike most strips, golf is right out. Death has a wicked slice. . . .
Rocky Stoneaxe
July 28th, 2010 at 7:56 am [Reply]

Apt. 3-G — Mama Katzenjammer missed the most important clue in Margo’s disguise… she uses the “sad, shapeless turtleneck” to hide her prominent Adam’s Apple!

Beetle Bailey — Ay Yi Yi… another lame excuse for someone in this strip to play golf!

Spider-Man — I think the job of Tony Stark’s chauffeur has been outsourced to Mexico! “Happy Hogan” is actually a person’s job title in the Marvelverse!

The Pajama Diaries — Jill’s daughter must have a cast iron stomach!

Henry — I love the fact that Henry and his family keep a ginormous box of raisins in the house. Have they all been eating from the same box since 1935?
John E.
July 28th, 2010 at 8:15 am [Reply]

Luann – Maybe Brad’s sassy gay roommate ought to explain to Brad that despite what his mother says, it really is okay to have sex before getting married.
The Modesto Kid
July 28th, 2010 at 8:25 am [Reply]

How awesome! I was just glancing at the title of this post again and realized, “Wait a minute Francis Bacon” can be sung to the tune of “Wait a minute Mr. Postman”! — check and see, is William Shakespeare writing poems for me,… kinda thing.
gleeb
July 28th, 2010 at 8:27 am [Reply]

So many comments about Wednesdays comics already. Whoa, slow down, Mencken!

’shaft: I don’t buy Ed as concerned about the cat. His last three comments have been: “He usually comes back by supper time”; “Nope”; and “I doubt it…Pickles doesn’t really take to new people.” He acknowledges that the cat is gone, but he doesn’t care.

Dick: D’Buckworth developed a 3-D system, then no doubt added the D to the beginning of his last name. Of course, he probably stole the idea from whoever Marconi stole it from.

‘bean: Of course there’s a significance. It’s Wednesday, and she wants to see if you can thin out the number of people going to Bible study.

Sam Driver, Frustrated Virtuoso!: “They called me Satchmo Driver. Of course, they laughed as they said it, but they called me that, and that’s what’s important.”

Pardon My Planet: It’s a lousy pun, but having a figure in a wheelchair and not having that be part of the joke is pretty classy, I guess.
bourbon babe, unbuckled
July 28th, 2010 at 8:39 am [Reply]

MW: Geez, even Mary is growing haggard with the boredom of Mike’s whining. She’s aged almost as much as Rusty has.

A3G: “Instead, be like me, with my shapely, feminine, flattering….oh, never mind.”

JP: Good thing for Sam that Abbey is clearly Hot for Band Geeks. She’s just wondering how long it will take to get his mouth back into fighting trim.

Curtis: BOIP?

MT: Wait, no punching? Rusty close-ups, drugged-out Sassy!, an arrest warrant, a discussion of the finer points of puppy-napping—and no punching? What the hell does Elrod think we come here for?

DtM: No, Dennis, you’re being punished because Mommy wants some alone time with the electric toothbrush.
bourbon babe, unbuckled
July 28th, 2010 at 8:40 am [Reply]

@Farley’s Revenge (#150):

It would be preferable to being analyzed by a biddy in a blazer.

I believe you have just pinpointed the preferred style of dress in A3G: the Biddy Blazer.
troy macgregor
July 28th, 2010 at 8:42 am [Reply]

The Nostalgia Critic just covered the movie adaptation of “Ghost-Who-Steals- Shamelessly-From-Indiana Jones”. I’ve wonder how would a superhero who is so allegedly good at sneaking up on his enemies be colored purple?
smacky
July 28th, 2010 at 8:46 am [Reply]

FC: Sometimes PJ is depicted as a baby who can barely walk…

…and then there’s today, where he’s built like a circus strongman. Check out those arms! Someone made a few purchases at the gun show!
Rocky Stoneaxe
July 28th, 2010 at 8:55 am [Reply]

Family Circus (rejected 1st draft) — “You’ll never empty out the whole ocean yourself, PJ… ’specially since you keep pissing in it!”

Pluggers… are animals, so they’re probably color blind!

Watch Your Head — She gave him Pop Rocks, didn’t she?

Hi & Lois — There’s nothing quite like the feel of scorching hot asphalt on your hands and knees… GAAAHHH! (So Mrs. Thurston doesn’t keep a spare pair for just such an emergency?)

The Flying McCoys — It’s Quasimodo Wednesday!
Écureuil Écumant
July 28th, 2010 at 9:16 am [Reply]

MW: Dr. M is making a huge mistake by not keeping his eyes shut. The sight of Mary looming over me like a Brocken spectre would scar me indelibly. And that thousand-yard stare in panel 2! She sees dead people. Only they’re not dead … yet.
queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
July 28th, 2010 at 9:20 am [Reply]

new thread alert.

aaaaaOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOgah!

new thread alert.
wossname
July 28th, 2010 at 9:21 am [Reply]

Curtis – now that last line was genuinely funny.

GT – I assume that’s not really the ball Chris Stiles hit, meaning Papa Peake is not just the great Santini, he’s a cheater, too. And we know how Coach feels about cheaters.

JP – Holy crap, Sam is still carrying around those cans of Coke? Jules has probably died of thirst by now, solving the problem.

MW – OMG OMG OMG panel 1 with Mary hovering like a vampire is the best yet! bats :[, I trust you’re brewing up something for us in Photoshop even as we speak. And there can be no doubt that Giella is having fun with us just as much as Moy is.

S-M – Good thing the PupperMaster put on that fake beard – he looks like a completely normal man on the street now.

A3G – Punching (probably metaphorical) tomorrow.

MT – HEY! We were promised punching! Man with facial hair abuses Sassy and misleads Mark = ironclad guarantee of punching!

Crank – Gee, Ed, apparently the cat’s not particularly bonded with you. How can that be?
Rimpy
July 28th, 2010 at 11:18 am [Reply]

@bats :[ (#160): Hey, bats :[ ; I guess the comments thing over at Snark It Up was unresolvable? Also, has anyone mentioned to you that the sidebar floats over part of the panels?
Anonymous
July 28th, 2010 at 11:51 am [Reply]

The cat ran away because it belonged to Crankshaft.
Anonymous
July 28th, 2010 at 11:53 am [Reply]

I agree – this is one of the best Mary Worth moments in a year. That’s why I don’t read Mary Worth.
Sylocat
July 28th, 2010 at 12:08 pm [Reply]

Maybe Blondie’s punchline is some sort of in-joke about how Edison stole every idea he ever patented?
Rarebit Fiend
July 28th, 2010 at 2:40 pm [Reply]

Move over Francis Bacon, there’s something leaner! It’s all real brain without all the fat!
stumbling block
July 28th, 2010 at 3:49 pm [Reply]

Gil Thorp – The frisson that Panel 2 produces was unexpected and great. It beautifully illustrates one of my favorite memories of my grandfather. He used to describe his male-pattern baldness as a “reverse mohawk”.
Chowder
July 28th, 2010 at 10:10 pm [Reply]

@Calico (#36):

You do make a good point, but you’ve forgotten two things: First, neither of those examples can match the sheer scale of theft that Edison achieved, and second, Edison was a galaxy-class asshole. We’re talking your little brother times several million, and then the resulting jackass is further multiplied by a couple trillion. On one rather infamous occasion, he hired Nikola Tesla to do some work, which Tesla did, happily. Then he comes to talk to Edison about the part where he gets paid, since he was technically “hired”. Edison just says, “Oh, Tesla, you don’t understand our American sense of humor,” and goes along his merry way, leaving Tesla there looking like someone just stiffed him for several weeks’ worth of wages.
bartcow
July 29th, 2010 at 11:46 pm [Reply]

Well, I can rest easy now that I know that Brad does not shower after sex. Like that wasn’t already obvious.

I, however, shower twice after reading Luann.
Jess
July 30th, 2010 at 7:34 am [Reply]

Old Spice–his dad’s, no less. MY dad wears Old Spice and thus the fragrance will forever be associated with dads in my mind. Clearly nothing sexual can happen under the presence of Old Spice, because it is a Dad Scent and this should quash any desire Toni may have managed to muster for Brad. …Old Spice. Seriously?? Way to kill the mood, Edison!
Jack Pendarvis
August 1st, 2010 at 7:11 pm [Reply]

I must put that Mary Worth panel on my “blog.” I will give you credit… tomorrow. I feel I need to let it just sit there by itself overnight, sort of simmering. I hope you don’t mind. I will make it right first thing in the morning!

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