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Coloring MADNESS

Slylock Fox, 9/12/10

We’ve all wondered exactly how the justice system in Slylock-world works, what with the same criminals being repeatedly captured but then turned loose on the streets to perpetrate annoyingly overcomplex scams again. Today we see the consequences of a society judged by soft-on-crime owls. An injured Slylock meekly offers some sad little animal facts to try to put his assailant away, while the the grinning Brick Bull and his sleazy rat-lawyer know that he’ll be out on the street randomly goring more innocent passersby before you know it.

Judge Parker, 9/12/10

So Neddy has spent most of this week making a last tearful and moderately smoochy goodbye to her first love, Mark. And what has current boyfriend been doing while all this goes on? Why, just putting the finishing touches on his scheme to scam $3 million from the rich and gullible Sam Driver. Hopefully Ned will respect him now, for his initiative!

Apartment 3-G, 9/12/10

Wow, so all this time I’ve been assuming that Lu Ann’s miscolored “rich brown curls” were a result of problems at the syndicate colorists, but the comics artists tend to be more in charge of coloring on Sundays so, uh, yeah. Is “rich brown” a new code-phrase for “red” these days, to combat anti-ginger prejudice? Or is this whole “reality show” just being put on by the inmates of an insane asylum, like the play-within-the-play in Marat/Sade?

203 responses to “Coloring MADNESS”

  1. troy macgregor
    September 12th, 2010 at 8:02 pm [Reply]

    Unless Tommie comes back as a guy, I won’t be too terribly surprised

  2. Taquelli
    September 12th, 2010 at 8:05 pm [Reply]

    The comedic timing in Judge Parker is impeccable, with the romantic crescendo slowing building over six panels suddenly and inexplicably dropped flat to show Sam Driver and Green Shirt dicking around with a computer. It’s like putting a scene of a dog peeing on a fire hydrant right after a gripping death scene, meant to make you laugh out of the sheer absurbity. I hope I was supposed to laugh, Wilson and Manley.

  3. troy macgregor
    September 12th, 2010 at 8:09 pm [Reply]

    Yesterday I got to head over to Small Press Expo 2010 being held at a hotel outside DC. I had a good time, throughout parts of it I had to struggle with my shyness/anxiety disorder to talk to some of the artists since this was the first convention of any kind I’ve gone to. My friend was happy because he got to meet Jeph Jacques, creator of the webcomic series “Questionable Content”. Here were some of my highlights from the convention:

    * I got to meet Danielle Corsetto, creator of the webcomic series “Girls With Slingshots”. She was as nice as she could be and even took a picture with me! Sadly, I was so nervous during the whole thing I forgot to comment on how awesome the giant stuffed McPedro was behind her. She then drew a sketch of my favorite character Jamie.

    * Then, I met Dave Kellet, creator of the webcomic series “Sheldon”. Really nice guy. We talked about the current state of comics and how if you want to have any stab at being a comic artist, webcomics are the only way to go since newspapers are dying and syndicates usually want to stick with old, familiar names rather than scout for new talent. We also talked about the Comics Curmudgeon, and how it’s a good place to find people to read your comics. Apparently Josh Fruhlinger was at SPX a few years back. A shame I didn’t go then.

    * I tried looking for Melissa DeJesus, artist for the comic series “My Cage”, but unfortunately I didn’t see her there. I wanted to tell her how unfair it was that “My Cage” was being cancelled, and what she planned on doing afterwards (More “Santa vs. Dracula”? Will “My Cage” become the webcomic it always really was?). Her friends/colleagues over at Estrigious Comics were there but I didn’t want to seem like some jerk asking where she was at the risk of making it seem like I had no interest in their work.

    * I got a copy of “Fred the Clown” by New Zealand-born British cartoonist Roger Langridge. I’m really getting into it. The comic to me is a mishmash of slapstick 1910s and ’20s silent films/cartoons, and ’60s underground comics. Roger was nice enough to only charge me $2 instead of $2.50 since I lacked the two quarters. He even gave me a bag since I stupidly left my bookbag at home and was trying to balace all my stuff in my hands.

    * Lastly, I got to meet cartoonist Keith Knight. I talked to him about short-lived alternative comics publication Bash! Magazine, what it’s like working under a syndicate, the differences between his two strips, and how long he’s been in the business. He also showcased CDs by his group “The Marginal Prophets”, which I of course, bought one. I hope I didn’t come off as some annoying convention chucklehead asking him all those questions.

    There was an animation showcase and a comics panel featuring cartoonist Richard Thompson (creator of “Cul de Sac” and “Richard’s Poor Almanac), but my friends were so tired we headed back. I wonder if a group of ‘Mudges want to join me for next year’s?

  4. Prestige
    September 12th, 2010 at 8:11 pm [Reply]

    At least Slylock Fox is teaching kids the important lesson that extreme emotional disturbance defenses are usually completely made up to get horrible criminals off the hook.

  5. Brody
    September 12th, 2010 at 8:16 pm [Reply]

    The “Dressed in the Dark” woman says phrases like “BIG REVEAL!” “HOLY COW” and “WHOA!” with such non-expression that I wonder if Botox was included in the makeover.

  6. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    September 12th, 2010 at 8:23 pm [Reply]

    @troy macgregor (#3): GWS rocks, only slightly less than QC does.

    well done, O Convention Goer!

  7. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    September 12th, 2010 at 8:24 pm [Reply]

    I’m waiting for someone to really sock it to Kitty and take some of the wind out of her sails. All they have to do is say, “I’ll bet Kat looked just like you when she was your age.”

  8. helium
    September 12th, 2010 at 8:24 pm [Reply]

    Is there any particular reason why they keep repeating rich brown curls? My guess is that the colorist is going to be fired and from now on all colors will be indicated in the dialogue.

  9. Kaleidic
    September 12th, 2010 at 8:25 pm [Reply]

    Re last week’s Phantom: after beating up a gaggle of policemen, the Phantom and Savarna just check into a hotel? Did he use his American Express? What self-respecting totalitarian country doesn’t require passports to check-in and what is the first place the cops will look?

  10. Oregonian
    September 12th, 2010 at 8:30 pm [Reply]

    Phantom Let’s get this straight: Walker & Stalker had their own nice, cozy ship anchored safely offshore in the harbor, but they chose to leave the boat, swim ashore, and pick a fight with four armed soldiers just so they could… stay in a hotel? The Rhodia Hilton must put out one hell of a continental breakfast.

  11. Anonymous
    September 12th, 2010 at 8:30 pm [Reply]

    A3G – Check out the clothes and hairstyles for the studio audience. To me, this doesn’t say ‘Reality Show Audience 2010′ as much as it says ‘American Bandstand Audience 1963.’

    Luann – Ha freaking ha. The 14,752,093rd version of ‘Slacker sleeps all day in class, Nerd studies even over the summer.’

  12. Scott Bot
    September 12th, 2010 at 8:38 pm [Reply]

    @Anonymous (#11): This was me, by the way.

    And it just occured to me that A3G might really be set in 1963, and I am too stupid to figure that out…

  13. cliky
    September 12th, 2010 at 8:45 pm [Reply]

    Slylock: If Bulls are really colorblind, how does Brick Bull know Slylock is red? If Slylock is the victim can he also be an expert witness? Is the “Bovine Bully” a stage name or just a statement of intent?

  14. Digger
    September 12th, 2010 at 8:48 pm [Reply]

    Slylock had no need to wow the jury with his knowledge about bulls. They all look so completely baked that all he had to do was say “he’s guilty!” and they would respond “uh………….okay.” But since when has Slylock passed up the opportunity do be a know-it-all?

  15. troy macgregor
    September 12th, 2010 at 8:51 pm [Reply]

    Auugh! I should have rephrased more of the things in my post instead of lazily copying and pasting it it from my blog! Of course we all know who Josh is and that Melissa DeJesus draws My Cage. I also must add that Dave Kellet is a fan of the site and says Josh is a cool guy.

  16. Urban Garlic
    September 12th, 2010 at 8:53 pm [Reply]

    @troy macgregor (#3): Hey, we (Mrs. Garlic and I) were there too. We actually did manage to brave the line-up for Richard Thompson, and also picked up some merch from some of our favorite web-and-other-small comics (in our case, Dresden Codak, Questionable Content, Scenes from a Multiverse, Hark A Vagrant, and a few others.)

    A few years ago (was it only last year?) Josh himself was there, chairing a panel.

    That would indeed be a fine mudge meet-up. I can’t promise to participate or organize or anything, but I heartily endorse this service, product, or sentiment.

  17. Gold-Digging Nanny
    September 12th, 2010 at 8:56 pm [Reply]

    I think A3G is one of those comics where it’s always colored by the coloring monkeys. Notice all the clothes are the same colors they’ve been, unlike in Judge Parker.

  18. Ian
    September 12th, 2010 at 9:04 pm [Reply]

    I’m more surprised and impressed that some kid in this day and age drew a Digimon for the “your drawing” section.

  19. Johnny Knuckles
    September 12th, 2010 at 9:08 pm [Reply]

    JP: I’m going to “plug in the budget” at work first thing Monday morning. By Friday I’ll be rich and laughing at all of you saps.

  20. Chyron HR
    September 12th, 2010 at 9:11 pm [Reply]

    RMMD – Wow, Vault Boy grew up to be a real asshole.

    Today’s Terrific Artist – Plugger children are raised in fear of Greymons sneaking across the border to bite the heads off people and steal all the landscaping jobs.

  21. ks
    September 12th, 2010 at 9:11 pm [Reply]

    You’ve got to love those http://richbrown.info/ http://curl.haxx.se/ s.

  22. Dave/David
    September 12th, 2010 at 9:19 pm [Reply]

    Did Brick Bull really think that his “I can’t help myself! I sometimes attack other people based just on the color of their fur!” was going to play well with the enlightened people of whatever town it is Slylock Fox takes place in?

  23. Gold-Digging Nanny
    September 12th, 2010 at 9:25 pm [Reply]

    @Gold-Digging Nanny (#17):

    Come to think of it, Luann’s white off-one-shoulder dress is a dead giveaway that the same person colored both the Sunday and weekday strips for A3G. Normally you’d expect one of the colorists not to leave it plain white if there were two of them taking a crack at that dress. But clearly it was one person — a person who shows so much disdain for their job and the art in the strips they color that they routinely make men’s suits electric blue — that colored both the Sunday and the weekday strips for A3G.

    Frank Bolle’s thought bubble: Okay, what’s something glamorous I can put Luann in? I’m thinking something a little daring, but different than Margo’s … maybe something shoulder-baring, but asymmetrical?

    (later)

    Colorist’s thought bubble: You put her in a TOGA, Frank. T-O-G-A. Here, let me leave it white so you can see how much of a toga it is.

    (There. I was feeling bad about coming here and not mocking anything earlier.)

  24. Gold-Digging Nanny
    September 12th, 2010 at 9:27 pm [Reply]

    A3G — Spoiler alert: Tommie has dreads.

  25. NoahSnark
    September 12th, 2010 at 9:28 pm [Reply]

    Brick Bull would have better luck claiming that anthropomorphic animals dressed in Sherlock Holmes costumes sent him into a violent rage. Most readers of Slylock Fox could empathize with that.

  26. Ukulele Ike
    September 12th, 2010 at 9:28 pm [Reply]

    Dreads? Is she planning on beating Cayla’s time with mopey Les Moore?

  27. sugarpie
    September 12th, 2010 at 9:34 pm [Reply]

    A3-G Yup. Mamma Kat has the cruel M. deSade thing down cold, and the inmates at Charenton (sp?) watch, baffled, yet oddly cheerful, as the senseless story unfolds before them.

  28. seismic-2
    September 12th, 2010 at 9:50 pm [Reply]

    JP: Uh Jules, I hate to be the one to break this to you, but in the previous panel Mark is also plugging something in, and it ain’t the budget.

  29. UncleJeff
    September 12th, 2010 at 9:51 pm [Reply]

    A3G: Prediction: Tommie comes out bald.

    Troy: loved the report. I wish I could meet Keith Knight. I really like his stuff.

    Doonesbury: does anybody besides me think a Sunday comic about a guy getting his tongue cut off and a guy shown hanged by his scarf might just be a little toooooo over the top…even if its about some idiot’s fantasy life?

  30. Joe Blevins
    September 12th, 2010 at 10:00 pm [Reply]

    A3G: Has anyone else noticed that Luann has taken on Tommie’s hair color, she’s started to take on the characteristics of Tommie herself, i.e. she’s become a passive, vaguely depressed non-entity? It’s like she’s been bitten by a radioactive Tommie.

  31. Red Greenback
    September 12th, 2010 at 10:01 pm [Reply]

    SlFo: The expression on Judge Hootie’s face is priceless. It’s as if he is thinking: “Oh shit, oh shit, oh shit! If anyone ever figures out that Brick is a political friend of mine, it’s the big cage for me!”

    A3-G: I’m still holding out hope that T’s new ‘do is a high top fade.

  32. Doug Puthoff
    September 12th, 2010 at 10:03 pm [Reply]

    9-12: FC: Dear Dolly, you shouldn’t have snithed on your brother; you should should have slugged him like I slugged my brother in today’s “Peanuts” strip. Love, Lucy Van Pelt.

    SFx–Of course, most bulls don’t have blonde hair and can’t verbally express themselves, either. The main reason Brick shouldn’t get off, however is that he has free will and must be responsible for the decisions he makes, as must we alll.

    FW–Cayla makes Charlie Brown look like Herb Tarlek. I want her, Les Moron and Sue-acide to re-enact the climatic scene from “Jules et Jim”–only with all three of them in the car.

    Doonesbury–At least somebody’s doing something about the Taliban. Spider-Man certainly ain’t; he’s too busy fighting creepy-looking, lame-ass villains like the Puppet Master. Maybe Stan should create a villain called “The Muppet Master”–somebody with ping-pong ball eyes who controls people by sticking his hand up the ass of a cloth replica of them.

  33. Alison
    September 12th, 2010 at 10:04 pm [Reply]

    LuAnn appears to be wearing a toga. I guess I will swallow my pride and admit I think she actually looked better before, My Little Pony-mane and all.

  34. Peter of the Norse
    September 12th, 2010 at 10:06 pm [Reply]

    Did no one else notice that mouse-sidekick is cleaning the rat-lawer’s tail? I have no idea what it’s about, but I suspect that it’s similar to how monkeys groom each other to display dominance.

  35. Master Mahan
    September 12th, 2010 at 10:13 pm [Reply]

    Solution – Bull Men can see color, but in accordance of the Law of Dr. Moreau, Beast Men shall not act like beasts. The Bull Man will be executed. All praise the wisdom of Dr. Moreau!

  36. Master Softheart
    September 12th, 2010 at 10:14 pm [Reply]

    JP: It’s actually both extremely sad and extremely funny that Sam talking to Jules about “plugging in the budget” is Judge Parker’s equivalent of cutting suddenly to an image of a train emerging from a tunnel.

    And while I’ve never been a huge devotee of Neddy (except that one early Baretto strip where she tries on skanky cocktail dresses in an unsuccessful attempt to shock Abbey), I must say that – like iconic Austrian Nazi Ilsa in the third Indiana Jones movie – she can say goodbye to me any time.

  37. Master Mahan
    September 12th, 2010 at 10:18 pm [Reply]

    If someone had told me a Judge Parker character cries while kissing, I would have guessed Sam.

  38. Master Mahan
    September 12th, 2010 at 10:35 pm [Reply]

    A3G, take 1: Lu Ann not being able to recognize herself doesn’t mean much. It was only last year that she found out the truth about the pretty blond woman trapped behind the mirror.

    A3G, take 2: “I don’t recognize myself. Probably because all women have the exact same face, and hair style is the only way to tell each other apart.”

    A3G, take 3: No, Lu Ann’s hair really is meant to be red. Kat just can’t see that, because she is a bull.

  39. Mr. O'Malley
    September 12th, 2010 at 10:38 pm [Reply]

    SlyFo: A crust is not found “on” a pizza. Mrs. O’Malley has just finished making her delicious sourdough crust low-fat pizza, so I have an example right here to confirm my thesis.

    I learned new words today! @Ian (#18): Digimon @Doug Puthoff (#32): snithe (and if you follow the link and get the same ad that I got, it has another new one: “Official Wesbite”)

  40. Shawn S.
    September 12th, 2010 at 10:43 pm [Reply]

    Pretty sure the colorist still messed up, and now they have to change the whole future of A3G to cover up his mistake. “There! Are you happy now? I had to give the signature blonde curly brown hair!” Note that the colorist can not be fired as he is protected by the Comic Coloring Union.

  41. Rhekarid
    September 12th, 2010 at 10:44 pm [Reply]

    Animal Court works surprisingly similar to Human Court, judging by the way the jury is utterly entranced by the ball that the rat-lawyer is pretending he’s about to throw.

  42. late2theparty
    September 12th, 2010 at 10:47 pm [Reply]

    Judging by the crowd at the Tribeca Grill, “blueberry blue” must be a new code-color for “lily white.”

  43. Artist formerly known as Ben
    September 12th, 2010 at 11:12 pm [Reply]

    The case against Brick Bull was thrown out when defense counsel stipulated that most bulls don’t see color, but asserted that most foxes don’t wear deerstalkers and give testimony either.

  44. Byeynyn
    September 12th, 2010 at 11:23 pm [Reply]

    Slylock Fox: Brick Bull must be gunning for the “Twinkie defense,” judging by his haircut.

  45. seismic-2
    September 12th, 2010 at 11:28 pm [Reply]

    Brick Bull was acquitted when the court found that his being red is the very least of a great many perfectly valid reasons for wanting to pound Slylock to a bloody pulp.

  46. Darkefang
    September 12th, 2010 at 11:31 pm [Reply]

    MT: Exactly which state is the ability to hunt horses a campaign issue?

  47. Poteet
    September 12th, 2010 at 11:35 pm [Reply]

    A3G — Having seen a performance of Marat/Sade, I really like Josh’s theory. I like it a helluva lot better than the actual storyline.

  48. Eats Shoots And Leaves
    September 12th, 2010 at 11:38 pm [Reply]

    I just don’t buy Margo’s new look. Since when does a dominatrix have softly draped shoulder length hair? Margo may feel “ravishing” but that tightly pulled bun warned the world that she was “The Ravisher.”

  49. Black Drazon
    September 12th, 2010 at 11:42 pm [Reply]

    Oh crap, Ned may be adopted but it seems that she’s still lived with Sam long enough to forget how to properly express emotion, if the optical fluid leaking out from the opposite side of the eye from the tear duct is any indication. Look lady, the sooner you ditch this guy and pulls his doppleganger away from your father, the sooner your can get your insurance information into the hospital.

  50. Roger Kaputnik
    September 12th, 2010 at 11:50 pm [Reply]

    Slylock: Your honor, I cite precedent re “Bush v. GORED.”

  51. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    September 12th, 2010 at 11:55 pm [Reply]

    @UncleJeff (#29): Doonesbury: does anybody besides me think a Sunday comic about a guy getting his tongue cut off and a guy shown hanged by his scarf might just be a little toooooo over the top?
    There has been some discussion. Search comments since midnight Sunday for “doonesbury” and you’ll turn it up.

  52. Roman Fingers
    September 13th, 2010 at 12:07 am [Reply]

    @Poteet (y#26): As cool as it would be for that to be his actual name, it refers to his position. He’s a “linebacker” (a defensive player who positions himself a couple of yards behind the defensive line).

  53. Poteet
    September 13th, 2010 at 12:07 am [Reply]

    SLYLOCK — Wait a minute. Since when are we so sure that “soft-on-crime owls” are to blame? Owls can only work with the laws and penalties established by the legislature, which in this case is probably made up of Brick Bull and Reeky Rat clones.

  54. Poteet
    September 13th, 2010 at 12:08 am [Reply]

    @Roman Fingers (#52): Thank you. Yeah, that does make more sense.

  55. Sheila Sternwell
    September 13th, 2010 at 12:10 am [Reply]

    @troy macgregor (#15): Thanks for the report, Troy! I’ve often wanted to comment on “Sheldon” here but I think it’s outside the scope of the CC — maybe! It might not be! I don’t actually know! Also, there’s rarely anything to make fun of in “Sheldon.” I think Dave misspelled a word once.

    A3G: If this is their new permanent look, I’m going to be pissed. Lu Ann’s “rich brown” is actually “Tommie red”, and part of the charm of A3G is the woefully old-fashioned one brunette, one redhead, one blonde formula. It also makes it a lot easier to tell who is who in newspapers that shrink their comics down. Anyhow, by now it’s obvious that I read A3G completely unironically, so you can all make fun of me for being a dork.

  56. Red Greenback
    September 13th, 2010 at 12:10 am [Reply]

    11-13 RM,MD- PANEL 2: YIKES!

  57. Roman Fingers
    September 13th, 2010 at 12:12 am [Reply]

    @Johnny Knuckles (#19): Thus your riches.

  58. Scott Bot
    September 13th, 2010 at 12:12 am [Reply]

    JP – I guess I was so intrigued by the fairly realisitc dialogue over the past week that I failed to notice that Neddy’s dress changed color from yesterday to today.

    Slylock Fox – Difference seven – One of these people is a homicidal maniac, the other is a rabid Green Bay Packer fan…

    Pluggers – Is it just me, or does today’s Pluggers not even make any sense?

  59. Poteet
    September 13th, 2010 at 12:23 am [Reply]

    9/13

    MW — Doctor Mike appears more dorkish with every passing week. Good luck, Jenna.

    PHANTOM — We tried to warn you, Savarna. You could have listened. But noooo….

    S-M — I’m a newspaper addict who buys local papers wherever I go. But there’s no way in hell I’d buy a DAILY BUGLE. What a useless one-note rag.

    ZITS — Haven’t we already done the party-while-parents-are-out-of-town story?

  60. Black Drazon
    September 13th, 2010 at 12:25 am [Reply]

    This is a wonderfully random My Cage, and the second time today (meaning the last half hour) that I have laughed out loud at a joke that didn’t completely make sense given the context but was still completely hilarious.

  61. AndyL
    September 13th, 2010 at 12:25 am [Reply]

    You know who I miss? Cassandra Cat.

    The Slylock Fox rogues gallery needs her sophistication as a professional career criminal to balance out all the slovenly working class thugs that Slylock usually has to deal with.

    Has she gone on to burgle outside of the Forrest outside of Slylock’s jurisdiction? Has she gone straight? Has she retired to live an honest life off the proceeds of her greatest crime? Did she get tired of the local private eye duo sticking their heads in her window for no very good reason?

  62. AndyL
    September 13th, 2010 at 12:27 am [Reply]

    “Which two scenes are exactly alike?” The two with the pirate so far as I can tell.

  63. Poteet
    September 13th, 2010 at 12:28 am [Reply]

    9/13 DtM — “And while we’re at it, did anyone comment on your stubby legs today? Your squiggle-decorated elbows? Your ears that have no openings? Your eyebrows that sit on top of your hair? Your….”

  64. Alfred E. Neuman
    September 13th, 2010 at 12:33 am [Reply]

    PV— Val won’t be able to recognize his former jousting partner until he sees the ol’ coel chute.

  65. Eats Shoots And Leaves
    September 13th, 2010 at 12:42 am [Reply]

    MW: The sturm und drang continues for these three over-the-top weiners. OMG! He didn’t call me for DAYS after our one (1) date. How can I give him my heart again?! OMG! My father abandoned me! How can I trust a woman enough to go on a second date?! OMG! I know your first date was simply days ago, but you have to give each other a second chance and go on another date! OMG! OMG! OMG!

  66. dr. giraud
    September 13th, 2010 at 12:43 am [Reply]

    CS: I keep thinking mean old Cranky will offer to retire and save the poor woman’s job, so that he can live off Social Security and devote his full efforts to blowing shit up, abusing fauna with his chainsaw and torturing his daughter and son-in-law. But he’s too mean for that.

  67. bats :[
    September 13th, 2010 at 12:46 am [Reply]

    Schtinky Puddin’!

    @Red Greenback (#56): Wait, what?

    And just in case BMcE screws up Monday’s

  68. Tophat
    September 13th, 2010 at 12:58 am [Reply]

    Lets all take a moment from Slylock getting the ever loving shit gored out of him to deal with this: Max Mouse is affectionately cuddling with sleazy rat lawyer’s tail during court proceedings, and no one cares. You know what? If I lived in the Slylock-verse, I think I’d maul the bejesus out of everyone too.

  69. Steve the Pocket
    September 13th, 2010 at 1:01 am [Reply]

    I have to say, this might be the first kids’ comic to feature the phrase “assault and battery”. This has never been a strip to talk down to its audience, mind, so I guess it was only a matter of time.

    @AndyL (#62): That would be a brilliant twist if he decided to do it some time. Except he’d have to put the “which two scenes are different” at the bottom, since most papers probably cut off the top row.

    Speaking of Sunday formats, does anyone know what’s up with [i]Dennis the Menace[/i] this week? Usually it uses the old [i]Calvin and Hobbes[/i] square-panel layout like the sample shown on Wikipedia, but this week it’s the [i]Peanuts[/i] one with the splits at the 2/3 and 1/3 mark. I’d be surprised if this is permanent, but features almost never change temporarily, so my guess is that they switched to a free format like [i]Baby Blues[/i], and that’s just where the splits happened to be this week. I’d need to see a paper where they run it wide and short to tell.

    Yes, this is the sort of thing I (A) know about, and (B) notice.

  70. AndyL
    September 13th, 2010 at 1:03 am [Reply]

    How did the bull expect that defense to work anyway? I’m pretty sure that the only person in the entire courtroom that could successfully identify the color red is the duck juror.

  71. Red Greenback
    September 13th, 2010 at 1:03 am [Reply]

    @bats :[ (#67): 2nd Panel, 5 o’clock.

  72. Steve the Pocket
    September 13th, 2010 at 1:05 am [Reply]

    Two more notes: One, yes, I noticed I just messed up the formatting again (why can’t we, as an Internet, just pick one code type and stick with it?); and two, I guess rusty orange as a stand-in for brown makes sense in a world where black hair usually has blue highlights.

  73. Citric
    September 13th, 2010 at 1:08 am [Reply]

    FW: The discussion of how hot what’s her face is is somewhat undercut by the hastily drawn lips making it look like she has a mustache.

    MW: Mary has killed them and is using them as puppets in some sort of sick pantomime. Only the truly perverse would enact the world’s most boring courtship ritual.

    Spiderman: “I suppose if you’re not going to be a dashing hat enthusiast, I’ll have to settle for you being a semi-competent employee. To the hat store!”

  74. Lord-z
    September 13th, 2010 at 1:09 am [Reply]

    For some reason, the revelation that Max in Slylock Fox is the county prosecutor really shakes my world. What is next, that Rusty is, in fact, the local EPA commisioner?

  75. Poteet
    September 13th, 2010 at 1:11 am [Reply]

    9/13

    GF — Yeah, right, uh-huh, sure! Show me Rob actually standing outside and maybe I’ll believe he goes to work every day. Or show him in a car or pickup, or in an office, or on some form of public transportation, or in a retail outlet, or masturbating in a secluded corner of some public park. Anywhere but in that apartment!

    GA — Boog is not only malformed, but he’s creepily malformed.

  76. Poteet
    September 13th, 2010 at 1:12 am [Reply]

  77. Alfred E. Neuman
    September 13th, 2010 at 1:26 am [Reply]

    The Dallas Morning News wants readers to vote for strips to replace Cathy and Ballard Street. The choices are:

    The Argyle Sweater
    Barney & Clyde
    The Dinette Set
    Dustin
    F Minus

    I suppose it’s too late to stage a write-in campaign for My Cage.

    The Argyle Sweater has a huge lead, with 58% of the votes. Dustin (which seems to be a Zits clone) is in second with 20%.

    If anyone wants to vote you can do so at: dallasnews.com/lifestyles

  78. Nekrotzar
    September 13th, 2010 at 1:28 am [Reply]

    Slylock may think he is clever, pointing out facts about mammalian biology, but he has overlooked the fact that the ‘Bovine Bully’s dangerous metaphysical point about freewill threatens to bring the entire judicial system to a crashing halt.

    “You can’t hold Cassandra Cat’s decision to seduce the bank guard, bludgeon him to death with a mallet, and steal millions of dollars from the safe against her. It was an uncontrollable result of her dharma!”

  79. Margaret
    September 13th, 2010 at 1:39 am [Reply]

    I looked up this bull fact, because I suspected that Slylock Fox is the sort of feature that vastly oversimplifies facts in order to bullshit me, and what I learned was that Slylock Fox copied this solution word-for-word directly from Wikipedia.

    Anyways, the internets seem to agree that bulls are red-green colorblind, based on only a couple of kind of sketchy references, in that none of them actually did any research on the topic. I remember reading that it is in fact quite hard to tell what colors animals can see, as they are notoriously bad at reporting to us.

  80. Mr. O'Malley
    September 13th, 2010 at 1:52 am [Reply]

    @Margaret (#79): I would think naively that it would be fairly easy to test. Suppose you had a bunch of red and green bins that every day were randomly moved about the bull’s enclosure. Suppose that only the green bins contained food. Would the bulls learn not to waste time checking the red bins?

    It’s quite possible that no one has bothered to do this, but it seems like something that could be done for a high school science project by rural kids.

  81. ElkMeadow
    September 13th, 2010 at 1:53 am [Reply]

    Luann just posted.

    Dirk takes a crap in Nancy and Frank’s bathroom. They have yet to call the cops on this guy who 1) is doubtlessly violating his restraining order, 2) has entered their house without permission (what, she left the door wide open?) and 3) is now rummaging through their medicine cabinet 4) is taking his meth and leaving the bottle in their medicine cabinet, where the police can find it when he falsely reports on them 5) and is going to file adoption papers, naming him their first-born son. After all, if they loved Brad, they wouldn’t have let Dirk use the bathroom without calling the cops while he’s in there.

    I call that — hiyuck!– now that Brad’s dropped by, they going to be trying to hide Dirk from him!

    As for this strip, it’s crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap,crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap,crap, crap, crap,
    CRAP!

    And double for Sunday’s comic.

  82. Rumon
    September 13th, 2010 at 2:00 am [Reply]

    Fingers crossed for Tommie to emerge with snakes for hair, ala Medusa, in order to keep greek week a ravishing success.

  83. Mr. O'Malley
    September 13th, 2010 at 2:12 am [Reply]

    BC has surged ahead of the Hart legacy.

    Luann: How long before someone has to conceal themselves in a steamer trunk?

    MW: Dr. Mike looks like he’s been writing himself a few prescriptions, and it isn’t even lunch time yet.

  84. Uncle Lumpy
    September 13th, 2010 at 2:21 am [Reply]

    @Mr. O’Malley (#80):

    The problem is that “red” and “green” differ not only in hue (the perceptual correlate of wavelength), but brightness (the perceptual correlate of luminance) — greens are generally brighter than reds, which is why “color blind” humans have no problem with traffic lights (although they may bite into a bright green pepper thinking it’s an apple!).

    To study animal color discrimination, you need to luminance-match the stimuli, which is a whole deal. You also need to have some sensitivity to the way the retina is laid out — bulls, like cats, have widely dispersed (color-sensitive) cones, so if you want to demonstrate that they can discriminate colors, you need to use large stimuli.

    You can get around some of the problems by using electrophysiology — it won’t tell you “what animals see” (nothing will tell you that!), but it can tell you if they have the wiring that would be required for a human to distinguish colors. Bovines have been tested with electroretinographic flicker photometry to determine if there’s an intensity of long-wavelength (“red”) light which, when alternated with a different intensity of middle-wavelength (“green”) light, will fail to produce a measurable electrical response from the retina.

    There are such (nonzero) intensities, indicating that bulls lack the ability to discriminate luminance-matched reds and greens, i.e., they are dichromats, or “red-green colorblind.”

  85. Steve the Pocket
    September 13th, 2010 at 2:36 am [Reply]

    @Alfred E. Neuman (#77): Ugh. Lousy selection aside, that’s way too short a list to replace two strips of differing formats, since only half are an option for either. (I’m guessing it’s half; I’m not familiar with most of those.)

    Come to think of it, what is the new preferred strip to replace Cathy when the polls start pouring in now that My Cage is out of the running? I guess Pearls before Swine for the papers that don’t already have it, and Lio for the ones that do?

  86. Alfred E. Neuman
    September 13th, 2010 at 2:58 am [Reply]

    @Steve the Pocket (#85): The DMN (or DaMN, if you will) carries PBS, but dropped Lio after a bunch of Plugger old fogey readers complained about it.

  87. The Talented Mr. Dirk
    September 13th, 2010 at 3:04 am [Reply]

    Dear Diary,
    I came home today rejuvenated. I realised that my obsessive, revenge based fantasies were futile. Today, my life serves a new purpose. I will have Mrs. DeGroot. I will take her in my garbage truck, and show her a new life. One where both of us can be happy in our escape of that vile male spawn of hers. I have seen the unfettered tolerant disdain that her husband gives her. She is brighter than any star, having seen through my earlier plot, and worthy of me. Thanks to modern medical science, I will seed her with the children she has always deserved: my looks, her brains. Truly, a new age of humanity shall come forth from our loins.

  88. A New Day
    September 13th, 2010 at 3:13 am [Reply]

    I love Neddy’s over-the-top use of the handkerchief in the third and fourth panels – she doesn’t look like she’s drying tears so much as stanching a wound: a wound of sadness.

  89. Steve the Pocket
    September 13th, 2010 at 3:33 am [Reply]

    Baldo: “A new study shows the Internet is filled with false information.” Wow. Your tax dollars at work, I guess. Also, I get the feeling the writer has been hanging out with the Herb and Jamaal guy too much.

    Funky Winkerbean: Yeeeeaaaahhhhh, I got bad news for you, lady…

    Herb and Jamaal: The category is “Expressions real human beings use.” You said: “My heart warms my soul.” Survey says: 9.

    Pluggers never learned anything about probability, and ironically it has served them relatively well.

    Six Chix: Does anyone know where I can order a print of this strip? No paper around here that I know of carries it, and I want this one on our refrigerator STAT.

    Zits: Oh look, it’s this clichéd storyline again! What, was the first time plus every movie and TV show with a teenage lead in history not enough? (Yeah, I linked y’all to TV tropes. When I’m grouchy I take it out on everyone else.)

  90. Buck Ripsnort
    September 13th, 2010 at 3:33 am [Reply]

    SlyFx: Note that Reeky Rat (who seems to be morphing into his cousin, Rat-Fink) is using his tail to snag the papers out of D.A. Max Mouse’s little paws. Thus, Max will be unable to use Slylock’s red/green factoid, and the Bovine Bully will walk. This is what happens when you ignore the law of the Jungle, or Farmville, or whatever.

  91. Buck Ripsnort
    September 13th, 2010 at 3:47 am [Reply]

    CdS: I thought they were just mispronouncing penguin yesterday. Oops!

    NS: I contemplate the continuation of this storyline w/ as much joy as I contemplate peanut butter-covered brussel sprouts.

    A3G: Goddammit GET ON W/ IT ALREADY!

  92. Mr. O'Malley
    September 13th, 2010 at 3:47 am [Reply]

    @Steve the Pocket (#89): You could download the image file and print it out.

  93. Buck Ripsnort
    September 13th, 2010 at 4:01 am [Reply]

    FW:”And if Les doesn’t like it, he’s crazy.” Well, we already know he’s crazy, so now what? And I never want to hear a sweaty teenage girl tell her mother, “You look hot!” My mind doesn’t want to go dirty places w/ that, but in a Batiuk strip, it’s probably the right direction to go.

  94. Mr. O'Malley
    September 13th, 2010 at 4:03 am [Reply]

    @Uncle Lumpy (#84): Yes, you need to match the brightness. You would also need to match every other variable other than hue. Like smell—the bins would need to be washed out every time.

    I am talking about large stimuli—big bins that might or might not contain cattle treats. They probably would need some kind of swinging door so it was not obvious that there was anything inside or not until the bull stuck his head in.

    There are plenty of variations, like if you come around wearing a red shirt you have a treat for them, but a (brightness-corrected) green shirt you don’t.

    You point out that it has already been established by other means that cattle are colorblind. Fine, but I still think my concept would make a good high school science project for kids with access to cattle.

    It really is immaterial with reference to Slylock Fox, since the bull could claim he has the same tendency to chase green foxes.

  95. dale
    September 13th, 2010 at 4:04 am [Reply]

    @ElkMeadow (#81):

    Has Dirk violated the restraining order? Does it keep him away from Brad or Brad and his family? Brad doesn’t live there anymore: he does seem to just walk in.
    This raises (not begs) the questions: At what point in your life do you quit walking into your parents’ house and knock/ring? When do they learn to lock the door?

  96. Ed Dravecky
    September 13th, 2010 at 4:18 am [Reply]

    @Alfred E. Neuman (#77): I despair for the DMN poll since the Dallas area is the home of 1) Scott Hilburn and 2) Reed Hoover (and so many other ‘Pluggers’ regulars) that The Argyle Sweater will get greased in because they salted the poll with only the few funny examples, they put it at the top of the poll, and this once-great newspaper is now a soul-deadened ghost of its former self with most content coming from wire services, “special” contributors, and story-sharing with the Fort Worth Star-Telegram. The DMN can’t even afford to send its own reporters to Texas Rangers games most nights, relying on the FWST to cover the games.

    Of course, these are the same geniuses that plunged untold millions into the CueCat.

  97. Not Greg Evans
    September 13th, 2010 at 4:31 am [Reply]

    Funkyverse: Forget the hair, Cayla. Les would probably appreciate it more if you waxed that mustache off… and you might want to have that mole checked as well. But truly, you shouldn’t have to do all this to please Les, just be happy with yourself. (You shouldn’t try to compete with Susan anyway — everyone knows the crazy chicks will do the kinky stuff.)

  98. Alfred E. Neuman
    September 13th, 2010 at 5:11 am [Reply]

    @Nekrotzar (#78): @Margaret (#79): @Mr. O’Malley (#80): @Uncle Lumpy (#84) @Mr. O’Malley (#94):
    Re: Slylock Fox—
    You guys are clearly apt pupils of vision, but your discussion does not focus on the important question of the source of Brick Bull’s character disorder, and it completely lacks humor in an ocular vein. (Admittedly this topic only lens itself to humor of the vitreous or aqueous variety.) Therefore, it is up to me to determine why Brick (aka “The Bovine Bully”) has behavioral problems. Upon further refraction, the answer is obvious: His parents must have spared the rods.

    Oh, I’ve got a million of ‘em… [*]

  99. Alfred E. Neuman
    September 13th, 2010 at 5:23 am [Reply]

    @Ed Dravecky (#96): Not to mention the DMN’s outrageous subscription price. Unless they come down, I’ll probably switch to the “Startlegram” when my current DMN subscription runs out.

  100. Alfred E. Neuman
    September 13th, 2010 at 5:32 am [Reply]

    @Red Greenback (#71) Re: RMMD— *Snerk!* Aw, that’s too easy for bats :[. All she has to do is apply some flesh tone. I’m surprised that some randy color monkey didn’t do it first.

  101. Roman Fingers
    September 13th, 2010 at 5:34 am [Reply]

    MW: Purple jacket, purple blouse. White coat, white shirt. It’s autumn, and in stylish Santa Royale, big blocks of color are IN!

    RMMD: In panel 2, I can only conclude that Becka is being felt up by a very short ghost.

    Zits: and when Pierce throws a party, it makes Woodstock look like an small social gathering.

    BaBlu: Please, somebody tell me that the “skid marks” refer to the marks left by his tricycle wheels.

    9CL: Edda gets my vote for “Smackdown of the week”

    Cranky: So _that’s_ what London did with all their old Routemaster busses…

    DT: Wow–so you can just accuse someone, the story gets splashed all over the papers and the cops think the charges are “anonymous”? Cool. And I thought they needed like, evidence, and junk.

    GT: No injuries? C’mon, these are the Mudlarks! Injuries just add to the tension of whether or not they’re going to make the playdowns!

    Luann: Enter Bradley, stage left.

    MT: Mark, he’s got the heads of like 26 extinct species up on his wall. Waddya mean it’s hard to believe?

  102. Mr. O'Malley
    September 13th, 2010 at 5:45 am [Reply]

    @Alfred E. Neuman (#98): You haven’t considered the depth of the field that Brick Bull inhabited.

    I conclude by appending the old burlesque joke:

    Girl 1: Those photographers want us to pose for pictures.
    Girl 2: Should we let them focus first?
    Girl 1: No, let’s wait until after they take the pictures.

  103. Alfred E. Neuman
    September 13th, 2010 at 6:09 am [Reply]

  104. Alfred E. Neuman
    September 13th, 2010 at 6:24 am [Reply]

    Well, hell, this is what too much coffee will do for you. As long as I’m up, I’ll throw this onto the pile:

    A3G— I called it (sort of) back on Aug. 21 (#111) when I said:

    “At first I was hoping that LuAnn’s hairdresser, Mister Mojo, would be based on the 1950’s bad-guy Japanese wrestler, Mister Tojo. But alas, he appears to be based on the bumbling and ineffectual Mister Cue. His “avant-garde” treatment of LuAnn’s hair will consist of cutting off an inch or two, darkening it by one shade, and trimming back the bangs.”

    Missed on the curls, though.

  105. gleeb
    September 13th, 2010 at 6:43 am [Reply]

    Rex: Is Becka supposed to be jumping up and down? She seems to be, uh, jutting rather a lot in that second panel.

  106. Little Guy
    September 13th, 2010 at 7:11 am [Reply]

    Saturday’s Luann: At first glance, I thought Dirk said, “Booga Booga!”

    BTW, this strip has used up all my monthly “What the Frak is this $h!t” cards in one week.

  107. Mordock999
    September 13th, 2010 at 7:16 am [Reply]

    Today’s Luann – 09/13/10

    Frank – “Oh SURE you can use the bathroom, Dirk! And when you’re finished be SURE to stop by Luann’s room and make a WOMAN out of her! And don’t FORGET Nancy! She’s OLD but She’s FAITHFUL, Ha, Ha!” Hey, you NEED money? My wallet and credit cards are on the dresser in the bedroom, along with Nancy’s jewelry box! No RUSH, Big Guy! I’ll even have coffee ready for you, when you’re DONE!”

    Jeez, ‘Liberals’….,

    ______________________________
    DEATH to TJ!!!

  108. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    September 13th, 2010 at 7:47 am [Reply]

    Tank: “epic fails”?!? /facepalm.

    A3G: Tommie reveal in 3, 2, 2, 2, 2 . . .

    B: topicality in Bumsteadworld?!?

    MC: world building at it’s funniest. nice meta, nice punchline.

    OBH: guest-staring our own Sequitur.

    PBS: I saw that coming. I LOL’d.

    RMMD & Ghost-who-sleeps-on-couch are competing for the greatest jut award of the week, and it’s only Monday.

    6C: LOL! yeah, zucchini work that way.

    posting before catching up, sorry for any oversnark.

  109. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    September 13th, 2010 at 8:02 am [Reply]

    @Darkefang (#46): perhaps somewhere out west, where the presence of wild horses interferes with the freedom to graze cattle on federally subsidized land and water like god intended.

    @Buck Ripsnort (#91): if you’d looked at my squee for Alice Otterloop, you’d have known better! ;-)

  110. Bryan
    September 13th, 2010 at 8:03 am [Reply]

    @Mordock999 (#107): She’s OLD but She’s FAITHFUL

    Is that a Firesign Theater reference? Eveerything You Know is Wrong?

  111. Mela
    September 13th, 2010 at 8:03 am [Reply]

    Monday:

    9CL: What was that someone said about avoiding the old-people hand jivin’? Yeah, looks like we didn’t dodge that horrifying bullet.

    A3G: We’re not seeing Tommie’s stunning new look until Friday at the earliest. I’ll bet on it. I’ll also bet that she’ll be the blonde now.

    Archie: Must… avoid… Holocaust… reference…

    Ballard: I’ve finally found how I want to die.

    ‘Shaft: “Oh, and try to reroute around any bridges. We don’t need any more wrongful death lawsuits, ED.”

    FW: You’d look better if you’d bleach that mustache… wait, that’s her LIP?! (BTW, it won’t work. It only makes her look LESS like Lisa and show that she’s still capable for enjoying life, two things that turn Les off more than being told to take his antidepressants.)

    GA: The cruel gods of Gasoline Alley are willing to irrationally short out cell phones with electrical fires to get their slaughter.

    H&J: “My heart warms my soul”. I’m going to be pondering the meaning of that bizarre turn of phrase (besides “dropping the name of the restaurant in the usual ham-handed way”) for the rest of my day.

    Luann: Ba-da-dum-da-dum-dum – BOING!

    MT: “I’ll do you one better – I’ll alert both PETA and the local news. Let’s see Frank’s career recover from THAT.”

    MW: “Oh my God, there’s a GIRL talking to me! And she wants to talk about the recently dead! This is the greatest day of my life!”

    Mutts: Nice “Nancy” nod.

    My Cage: Meta and Max being a jerk… I love this strip.

    NS: We interrupt our week of ham-fisted attempts at op-ed cartooning for a return to the ham-fisted Al Capp circa 1952 knock-off.

    OBH: Who knew this strip was set in my neighborhood?

    Pluggers: Pluggers recognize that they have a gambling problem but aren’t about to do anything about it.

    RwO: Cute.

    Slylock: Harry is a redneck ape in a pimp hat; he hasn’t been able to read anything more complicated than a beer label in years. The odds of him being a thieving bibliomaniac are slim to none.

    Zits: 80s house par-tay!

  112. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    September 13th, 2010 at 8:12 am [Reply]

    MW: Jenna’s emphasizing “lunch” because she wants to make clear that there will be no romantic hanky-panky. Dr. Mike’s grinning because he’s thinking, “Nooner!”

    MT: Sure, Beth, ask the guy who couldn’t even get Frank to tell him the reason for the fence. Then again, as Mark Trail Wife #9-13, your quality has clearly decreased through the sheer volume of facsimile reproduction.

    DtM: Alice’s plan—to dress Dennis in the kind of hat that would surely get the crap beaten out of him—only failed because every other kid in town is just as big a dork as he is.

    FC: I imagine that PJ’s decomposing body provides some extra nutrients, too.

  113. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    September 13th, 2010 at 8:19 am [Reply]

    fennec!

    Toes are not noms.

    bebeh sloth.

    For Alice Otterloop. (big pic)

  114. Rocky Stoneaxe
    September 13th, 2010 at 8:30 am [Reply]

    Scary Gary Gruesome Twosome:

    Sunday — This is almost as bad as looking at a naked Cathy… AAAAAACK!

    Monday — Gary’s in deep doo-doo… or should I say “deep-FRIED doo-doo”?

    ______

    Nancy Twin-Pack:

    Sunday — No rest for the wicked… eh, Nancy?

    Monday — Nancy wants Aunt Fritzi to pony up!

    ______

    Soup to Nutz Double Dipper:

    Sunday — Royboy waits for the other shoe to drop!

    Monday — Lame puns make for a lamer punchline!

  115. Chyron HR
    September 13th, 2010 at 8:33 am [Reply]

    FW – Yes, Cayla, the Maharajamboota Les approves of your cultist makeover. You are now ready to distribute copies of Lisa’s Story at Westview International Airport.

  116. Boris Badenov
    September 13th, 2010 at 8:35 am [Reply]

    Luann: They’re on a collision course with wackiness!

  117. Mordock999
    September 13th, 2010 at 8:41 am [Reply]

    @Bryan (#110):

    Yep! We hava WINNAH!!!

    _______________________________
    DEATH to TJ!!!

  118. Calvin's Cardboard Box
    September 13th, 2010 at 9:06 am [Reply]

    JP – Real breasts don’t work that way.
    RM – Real breasts don’t work that way.

    Gravity. It’s not just a good idea. It’s the law!!

  119. Rocky Stoneaxe
    September 13th, 2010 at 9:15 am [Reply]

    @Poteet (y#26):

    I read that line as “LB Marcus Tedford Smothers (COMMA) the quarterback”… and wondered if he was a relative of Tom and Dick, the Smothers Brothers!

  120. TheDiva
    September 13th, 2010 at 9:26 am [Reply]

    9CL: Since it looks like Gran’s sucking the life out of him, that’s probably not too far off.

    FW: So, he won’t like it. But don’t give up hope, Cayla–you can still attract him with that potential melanoma on your face.

    Luann: Hey, they never stopped TJ from barging in, what makes you think they’ll act differently now?

    MW: At tonight’s performance, the role of Dr. Mike will be played by a Ken doll.

  121. wossname
    September 13th, 2010 at 9:34 am [Reply]

    DT – In what legal system is this taking place? An anonymous source can indict people?

    FW – oh nooooo… I miss a few days of comics, and come back to this? We told you last week, and the week before, Cayla – RUN!

    GA – I still think that empty bus is going in the ravine one of these days…

    Luann – Now this is actually getting kind of fun.

    MC – Win. Every day I’m sad that this is going away.

    RMMD – The urologist is quickly becoming the Reeky Rat of this strip. Bank robbery? Terrorist attack? It could only have been the urologist.

    BrS – Has anybody else noticed Brenda not looking right lately? Something about the way her mouth is drawn. Maybe Brigman is letting her 5-year-old niece draw the mouths?

    @Mela (#111):

    A3G: We’re not seeing Tommie’s stunning new look until Friday at the earliest. I’ll bet on it. I’ll also bet that she’ll be the blonde now.

    Yes! I’ll bet you’re right about the blondeness. But surely they can’t drag this out until Friday – can they?

  122. Bill the Butcher
    September 13th, 2010 at 9:54 am [Reply]

    @The Talented Mr. Dirk (#87): Win. I bow in admiration. I wish I’d written that.

  123. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    September 13th, 2010 at 9:56 am [Reply]

    AD – Let me guess. Peter wants the cave drawings plastered over so he’ll have room for a big flatscreen TV with digital. That’s the only way it makes sense in this nutty future world..

    Dick – Another different frontage and sign. Apparently, half the buildings in town are set aside for the police, and a quarter of what’s left is devoted to whoever makes those massive three-dimensional signs.

    Herb“To me, giving is like a thermometer of love.”
    That’s quite a coincidence, because your head looks like a thermometer of bone.

    Marfield – Cursive… bad words? That’s probably startlingly original humor in a world where the ABCs are literally three letters long and crayons come in a handy two-pack.

  124. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    September 13th, 2010 at 9:57 am [Reply]

    Peanuts – Just look at the top of the first panel for the date, Linus, and don’t listen to Charlie Brown’s misinformation. Now you’re using the wrong thumb. In some strips, that could lead to cancer.

    6 – Oh, how fun-nee! She’s mocking barren couples. Maybe for an encore she’ll go fuck herself.

    Slylock railroads another whipping boy into the one-day penitentiary. His only crime was looking at a book about William Gillette’s years of playing the great detective.

    Snuffy – Titus should just wait. She’ll propose to him on Susie Hawkins Day.

  125. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    September 13th, 2010 at 9:58 am [Reply]

    @Ed Dravecky (#96): Turns out the CueCat they sent us with Wired is usable for scanning bar codes into LibraryThing. Advantage: me!

    @Mordock999 (#117): I missed the Heavenly Bus!

  126. shermy glamrocker
    September 13th, 2010 at 10:08 am [Reply]

    Rex Morgan’s continuing use of the word “leak” in close proximity to the word “urologist” is becoming fucking hilarious.

  127. Bill the Butcher
    September 13th, 2010 at 10:09 am [Reply]

    Doonesbury: Are we all here agreed that we find Jeff Redfern annoying to the point of being virtually intolerable? And Sunday’s strip was seriously over the top. Not even remotely funny; and a bad letdown especially after last week’s great PTSD/classroom story.

    I’ll do a Mordock: Death to Jeff! Akbari! Kill him right now!

  128. Scott Bot
    September 13th, 2010 at 10:20 am [Reply]

    JP – I don’t recall any girls ever saying goodbye to me like that. Usually they just left a message on my answering machine…

    FW – ‘How did you know that’s why I did it?’ ‘Uh, Mom, the “I did it for Les” t-shirt is a dead giveaway.’

  129. tb4000
    September 13th, 2010 at 10:31 am [Reply]

    Curtis: Haha, I get it! Because they’re black, they say it like “dawg!” Oh, Billingsley.

  130. Rocky Stoneaxe
    September 13th, 2010 at 10:36 am [Reply]

    Rex Morgan — Becka has more bounce to the ounce!

    Herb & Jamaal — He’s not planning to use a RECTAL thermometer, is he?

    Real Life Adventures — Keep your hands off his junk!

    Brenda Starr — Careful, Brenda… Binky is a master baiter!

  131. LUJBEM FEJF
    September 13th, 2010 at 10:39 am [Reply]

    Dick- Wow! That’s some serious italicizing in that paper!

  132. Mordock999
    September 13th, 2010 at 10:42 am [Reply]

    @[Old Man] Muffaroo (#125):

    “I missed the Heavenly bus!”

    Not to Worry, My dear Muffaroo. For we are ALL Bozos on THIS Bus!

    ______________________________________________
    DEATH to TJ and assorted other Supporting Characters!!!

  133. Walker of Dog
    September 13th, 2010 at 10:45 am [Reply]

    @LUJBEM FEJF (#131): I just assumed it was another perspective failure.

  134. UncleJeff
    September 13th, 2010 at 10:47 am [Reply]

    @Red Greenback (#71): I dunno Red. From where June is pointing, it’s clearly 2:30.
    And Nurse Boobs seems to agree.

  135. wossname
    September 13th, 2010 at 10:53 am [Reply]

    @Bill the Butcher (#127): I completely agree that Jeff Redfern is an annoying, ridiculous jerk, but clearly he’s supposed to be. So personally, I’m entertained by his self-aggrandizing fantasy, and not offended by the violence, because it’s just the fantasy of an idiot who grew up playing video games. (I do wonder how his relatively sensible parents managed to produce this jerk, though.)

  136. Oregonian
    September 13th, 2010 at 10:56 am [Reply]

    @Bill the Butcher (#127): Oh, I don’t know… Jeff might be annoying, but he gets a few bonus points for annoying all the right people (like Col. Havoc). Mostly I think he’s just young and sweetly clueless. He’s wrapped up in a world of his own vivid imagination, but he’s no Walter Mitty. He’s out there trying to translate his vision into reality. The effort might be totally floundering, but you’ve got to give him credit for trying.

    I was hoping that Jeff might have more interaction with Mel in Afghanistan. She’s so solidly grounded in reality that she could have knocked some sense into him.

  137. agony
    September 13th, 2010 at 10:58 am [Reply]

    ReFOOB – Of all the annoying tropes, I think I might hate this one the most. Elly, you learned all the skills necessary to balance a chequebook by the fourth grade, at the latest. Adding, and subtracting, and that’s it.

  138. Stu
    September 13th, 2010 at 11:06 am [Reply]

    How sad that Marty Moon, rendered irrelevant by the age of the Internet and podcasts, is reduced to “interviewing” an indulgent, cliche-ridden Gil Thorp with nothing but a rubbery smokie link.

  139. Stu
    September 13th, 2010 at 11:07 am [Reply]

    @dale (#95): Questions, indeed, for sensible people. Which Luann has none of, apparently.

  140. Stu
    September 13th, 2010 at 11:10 am [Reply]

    @UncleJeff (#29): I’ve never enjoyed reading anything involving Jeff Redfern, and this was possibly the worst yet. Sure, you can have characters be jerks, but at what point do they make you stop caring?

  141. bats :[
    September 13th, 2010 at 11:17 am [Reply]

    @queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#113): oh, queek! Not so slow! That’s a bebeh giant anteater, not a sloth! (The Reid Park Zoo here in Tucson is part of the breeding program for them — well, anteaters, not just the bebeh ones.)

  142. Bill the Butcher
    September 13th, 2010 at 11:25 am [Reply]

    @wossname (#135): I suspect that’s what they wonder each time they look at him, too.

  143. Walker of Dog
    September 13th, 2010 at 11:27 am [Reply]

    9CL: “Interminable”: ah, so you do know the word.

    A3G: “Come on out, Tommie, so we can all give up on you together!”

    FC: Bil wears saddle shoes. Eat the mud pie, Bil.

    GT: While Cody dodges a random left jab from a disgruntled teammate, Gil and Marty discuss their upcoming rendez-vous in the portable toilet.

    MT: Anxious about the upcoming slaughter, Beth clutches at where her pearls would be, if she owned any.

    MW: Dr. Mike, always a gentleman, will allow Jenna to pick any restaurant she wishes, as long as it serves stoners and hopheads like him.

    Phan: Savarna is having a rough morning: she has a lump under her arm that needs to be examined soon, and she got 8 months pregnant when Kit touched her arm.

    - And did Kit make up his hotel bed? What a tool.

    RMMD: Becka is wearing a wire as part of the ongoing police investigation into the disclosure of the Mayor’s diagnosis. June misinterprets Becka’s intrusive posture as aggression, and her breasts start growling.

  144. Little A. King of Mischigass
    September 13th, 2010 at 11:32 am [Reply]

    LUANN: How do we know it ain’t Luann that just walked in the door?

    Well, the shcool year has just begun, maybe she came home because she forgot her Ipod or something…

    PCL: This is sweet. I hope she soaked her dentures last night.

  145. Shawn S.
    September 13th, 2010 at 11:44 am [Reply]

    @Little A. King of Mischigass (#144):

    How do we know it isn’t TJ that just walked in the door? He’s already claimed the DeGroot’s as his new parents.

  146. Artist formerly known as Ben
    September 13th, 2010 at 11:48 am [Reply]

    9/13

    PBS: Kinda saw it coming, but it’s still funny.

    9CL: And so was this, oddly enough.

    RMMD: Nice to see that June is with the whole “passing the buck” program. The Morgan office has to be the city’s top blame-ologist.

    A3G: Shulock and Bolle are really dragging out the Tommie appearance. So hard to decide what color her hair will be, and what they’ll misname it.

    H&L: So women can talk themselves out of a good lay to. Well, good by Hi Flagston standards.

    MW: Dr. Mike is so happy! He’s walking on air! He’s filling out prescriptions without looking at them, which is always a good habit for a doctor.

    Archie: Jughead’s expression don’t look so much like he’s reading a comic book as he’s getting a hummer under the desk. So the fact that he’s reading about his best friend is all the more disturbing.

    Phantom: Savarna might be a psychotically adept pirate-hunter, but I don’t think she’s much good without her morning cuppa joe.

    FW: He’s narcissistic and creepily fixated on his daughter. You be the judge.

    6C: If Jonathan and Martha Kent had taken in a slightly different baby.

    BSt: From self-harm on Saturday to potential incineration of one’s own genitals today. What’s Gerry von Something trying to tell us?

    H&J: Just don’t volunteer at the schools. You can do time if you show kids your thermometer of love.

  147. Gulielma
    September 13th, 2010 at 11:54 am [Reply]

    According to the Philadelphia Inquirer, Zits is on vacation and this arc is a rerun. IIRC, it’s the one where Walt saves the day.

    I hate Jeff Redfern and wish Doonesbury would go back to Toggle and BD. I liked the resolution that BD convinced Toggle to go back to class and deal with his Iraqi classmate–while his Iraqi classmate is freaked out by “the kid in the Army tshirt” and wants to transfer.

    Apt 3-G: pick up the pace guys.

  148. Shawn S.
    September 13th, 2010 at 11:54 am [Reply]

    My prediction is that Tommie will now have blonde hair. This will begin a subplot of “Tommie is now better looking than LuAnn” with LuAnn pissed that “Tommie stole her hair color”. Sigh.

  149. bats :[
    September 13th, 2010 at 12:07 pm [Reply]

    @Shawn S. (#145): How do we know that it isn’t Gunther that just walked in the door? The DeGroot’s defend his nebbishness to such a degree that he considers them his “real” family (and once having seen Mr. DeGroot in the YMCA locker-room, Gunther’s Little Billy the Bookworm only wants to be Big Bill the Bookworm when he grows up).

  150. odinthor
    September 13th, 2010 at 12:19 pm [Reply]

    Archie. — Y’know, now that the subject has come up, I can’t recall that I ever myself laughed at a comic book or ever heard anyone else laugh at a comic book. Perhaps they should be renamed “Fodder for Intense Staring Books.” At least they’re funny in Riverdale.

    H&J.

    Giving is like a thermometer of love.

    Hm. You mean the “stick it into a bodily orifice” part, or the “full of a deadly poison” part? Oh, I know. You mean the “narrow and calibrated with fine markings” part.

  151. Calico
    September 13th, 2010 at 12:23 pm [Reply]

    Re: 3G – Did baldy hairdresser guy change the carpet to match the curtains, too?

    SlyFox – the day SlyFox officially became pulp fiction, instead of a comic for kids.

  152. ed mullins
    September 13th, 2010 at 12:31 pm [Reply]

    WHERE CAN I VOTE FOR THE ARGYLE SWEATER?

  153. Jamus The Bartender
    September 13th, 2010 at 12:40 pm [Reply]

    @AndyL (#61): I’m WORKIN’ on it….i’m workin’ on it……

  154. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    September 13th, 2010 at 12:45 pm [Reply]

    @Alfred E. Neuman (#77): goodness, what a dreadful set of choices. F- is at least funny every couple of weeks, which is better than the others.

  155. Rana
    September 13th, 2010 at 12:50 pm [Reply]

    I think the answer to the coloring problems in Apartment 3-G lies with Slylock Fox: Brick Bull’s day job, when he is not out beating up annoying foxes, is coloring comics.

  156. Al of the Christian Singles Jungle Patrol
    September 13th, 2010 at 12:51 pm [Reply]

    @The Talented Mr. Dirk (#87): Better than her looks, his brains, I guess. That’s how we ended up with Brad in the 1st place.

  157. Al of the Christian Singles Jungle Patrol
    September 13th, 2010 at 12:53 pm [Reply]

    @Mordock999 (#107): What’s wrong with liberals? I’m a good liberal, and I would have blasted him with my double-20.

  158. Little Guy
    September 13th, 2010 at 1:01 pm [Reply]

    Barney & Clyde: All I will say is DAY-YAM!

  159. Guy Neeto
    September 13th, 2010 at 1:14 pm [Reply]

    “Or is this whole “reality show” just being put on by the inmates of an insane asylum, like the play-within-the-play in Marat/Sade?”

    It’s lines like that that make me grateful for living in 2010.

  160. TheDiva
    September 13th, 2010 at 1:21 pm [Reply]

    @agony (#137): Indeed, the only thing more irritating than the use of 1950s-era gender humor is the knowledge that if the roles were reversed (say, Jon was being nice to Elly so she’d iron his shirts) there would be a lot more emphasis on how UNFAIR the arrangement was and how Jon is an EVIL, SEXIST PIG OF A MAN for even suggesting such a thing.

  161. cheech wizard
    September 13th, 2010 at 1:25 pm [Reply]

    RMMD – Why is Becka tipping over? Is she one of those inflatable punching toys? I guess that would explain the balloon-like boobs. Or did Rex simply hire M.C. Escher as his office architect?

  162. teenchy
    September 13th, 2010 at 1:29 pm [Reply]

    @Alfred E. Neuman (#77):Dustin (which seems to be a Zits clone) is in second with 20%.

    Dustin is a Zits clone and a very bad one at that. It has one joke which repeats daily: Dustin is an unemployed college graduate who lives with his parents. Every day the punchline is some riff on his unemployment. For this the Philadelphia Inquirer dropped OBH. There wasn’t even a reader poll.

  163. Poteet
    September 13th, 2010 at 1:30 pm [Reply]

    A3G — Lu Ann, Greek Goddess of Vacuity.

  164. Artist formerly known as Ben
    September 13th, 2010 at 1:37 pm [Reply]

  165. Calico
    September 13th, 2010 at 1:42 pm [Reply]

    FC – Awwww…Dolly has a severe case of Pica – isn’t that cute?

  166. Old School Allie Cat
    September 13th, 2010 at 1:43 pm [Reply]

    A3G – I have less of a problem calling Lu Anne’s hair brown than I do buying that curls are “in”.

    As a curlyhaired woman myself, I get asked *every* time I go to the salon if I’ve considered straightening my hair, and they ask me if I want it blown out that way post-cut. No, and no thank you. But I’m the rare exception. I ask you, who made more money last year – the Chi Hair Straightener Appliance Company or Toni Home Perm, Inc.?

    She reminds me of a girl in college we called Poodle. TO HER FACE.

    Of course, the girl in question was also a bit yippy and high-strung.

  167. Artist formerly known as Ben
    September 13th, 2010 at 1:44 pm [Reply]

    @teenchy (#162): The full joke in Dustin usually comes in two parts. First, Dustin can’t find long-term employment. Second, his executive dad mocks him for being a lazy bum for it. Yes, really, this is what the cartoonists go for in the middle of a recession. The idea is so ill-advised that next thing you know they’ll be doing a sitcom about jobs being shipped overseas. What’s that you say?

  168. Artist formerly known as Ben
    September 13th, 2010 at 1:46 pm [Reply]

    @Old School Allie Cat (#166): Curky-haired women rock. Don’t let none tell you different.

  169. commodorejohn
    September 13th, 2010 at 1:46 pm [Reply]

    A.D. – I likes.

    BR – Such a loving rendition. Thank you, Brewster Rockit, for giving a damn.

    DT – Filed the…? Look, I’m not a law student or even a cop-show devotee (although Castle kicks ass,) and even I know the difference between checking out an anonymous tip and actually filing charges against someone. What universe of universes does this strip take place in?

    Dilbert – Scott Adams is one of the few remaining people who seem to understand that “Facebook” and “Twitter” [*] are NOT VERBS. Thank you, Scott. You give me hope for the future.

    FC – “The Keane children are idiots” has been a running theme of The Family Circus for so long now that I’m not even sure this constitutes a joke.

    FB – I dunno, Fred. They might feel utter contempt for your blandness, but I doubt they’ll be able to make themselves care enough to do anything about it.

    FW – AAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHH GOD DAMMIT THE ONLY LIKEABLE ADULT IN THE ENTIRE FUNKERVERSE AND YOU JUST HAD TO GO FUCK HER UP LIKE THE REST OF YOUR BROKEN SORRY SHIT-SACK CAST, DIDN’T YOU, BATIUK! WELL FUCK YOU! GO TAKE YOUR PRECIOUS WRITING PEN AND SIT AND SPIN ON IT!

    H&L – No, he’s just saying that because you’re showing cleavage.

    Luann – Let’s see. Wall to bang my head against? Check. Cloth for wiping the spittle flecks from my monitor and keyboard? Check. Knife for when Luann‘s sub-Three’s Company Misunderstanding Plots finally become just too much to take? Check. Okay, I think I’m ready for the week.

    MT – Talk to him? You think he needs talking to and you go to the least articulate person in the Trailiverse not possessed of facial hair?

    MW – “I want to hear more about your father! Tell me, does the shaking from the DTs help spread the vomit fumes farther? You know, like the mistifier thingy in a humidifier?”

    OB – Ooh, burn!

    RMMD – June…everybody kind of beat you to the urologist joke, even in-strip.

  170. Amateur
    September 13th, 2010 at 1:53 pm [Reply]

    Doonesbury: “HA! HA!” is a punchline? Did Trudeau trade strip-writing duties with the writer of Fred Basset today?

  171. Ranger
    September 13th, 2010 at 1:56 pm [Reply]

    RMMD: I knew June and Becka were doing a little on the side, but whoever colored Monday’s strip makes it look like Waist Down Frontal June! That is something I would have expected in Judge Parker. June might want to think about tidying that up a bit too.

  172. cheech wizard
    September 13th, 2010 at 1:59 pm [Reply]

    JP – ???? I thought raising $3 million was the one part of the business plan he’d already taken care of. That’s why he’s boning Neddy.

    FC – “…. and it came right out of Barfy not more than five minutes ago!”

    FW – But Les is batshit insane – he sees talking cats and dead people, fer chrissakes! That’s where your little plan fails.

    B.C. – Looks like the Hart estate is reasserting control over the strip.

  173. bupdaddy
    September 13th, 2010 at 2:01 pm [Reply]

    Damn it, are the animals in Slylock Fox animals or people? They can talk, they wear clothes, the damned rat lawyer has opposable thumbs, but we’re supposed to just ‘know’ that bulls can’t see the color red?

    Without doing any research, I bet there’s some previous Slylock where he “proved” one of the usual suspects was guilty because something was a particular color, and that apocryphal moment makes me very angry.

  174. Mooncattie
    September 13th, 2010 at 2:03 pm [Reply]

    FW – Psst, Cayla! Tell Les it’s a result of hair cancer! Then he’ll be all yours!

  175. Aleit
    September 13th, 2010 at 2:06 pm [Reply]

    B.C. The loving rendition of a Bacteriophage reminds me of my college days, but doesn’t make the idea much clearer.

  176. 150
    September 13th, 2010 at 3:01 pm [Reply]

    Move over, Margo! Brick Bull is my new funny-page hero!

  177. Ichi
    September 13th, 2010 at 3:16 pm [Reply]

    A3g “I know. It’s the hair.” Gee Lu Ann, ya think?

  178. cheech wizard
    September 13th, 2010 at 3:29 pm [Reply]

    If that damned rat lawyer was any good, he would have countered by pointing out that foxes can’t talk.

  179. greghousesgf
    September 13th, 2010 at 3:35 pm [Reply]

    If you think the same characters are always getting arrested in Slylock, there was a cartoon on TV in the sixties that did the same thing, only worse, called “Courageous Cat and Minute Mouse”, that only had one villian who showed up in every episode, a frog VERY imaginatively named “the frog”.

  180. Dood
    September 13th, 2010 at 3:45 pm [Reply]

    Can I just say that Margo is rocking that ground-up, recycled-tires decolletage?

  181. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    September 13th, 2010 at 3:47 pm [Reply]

    @Dood (#180): That’s what that is! You’re right; it looks like she rolled around nekkid under the swing set. (And yes, those of you who now have fuel for your evening’s fantasies can thank me.)

  182. Uncle Lumpy
    September 13th, 2010 at 3:51 pm [Reply]

    @bourbon babe, unbuckled (#181):

    … it looks like she rolled around nekkid under the swing set.

    After slathering herself in toothpaste.

    Hey, don’t judge.

  183. ElkMeadow
    September 13th, 2010 at 3:51 pm [Reply]

    @Oregonian (#136):

    I was hoping that Jeff might have more interaction with Mel in Afghanistan. She’s so solidly grounded in reality that she could have knocked some sense into him.

    We already have Sally Forth and Ted in the comics. Having Mel brush him off was definitely genius.

  184. commodorejohn
    September 13th, 2010 at 3:54 pm [Reply]

  185. cheech wizard
    September 13th, 2010 at 4:00 pm [Reply]

    A3G – I think the original idea was for LuAnn to come out totally nekkid except for her auburn tresses, but at the last minute she wrapped herself in a sheet. Which kind of ruined the effect. Because let’s face it, she’s so dull that’s the only way she can attract interest from men.

  186. ArchieNemesis
    September 13th, 2010 at 4:01 pm [Reply]

    Dennis’s menace level is heightened today by his distinct resemblance to Yasser Arafat.

  187. cheech wizard
    September 13th, 2010 at 4:07 pm [Reply]

    @UncleJeff (#29): Doonesbury: does anybody besides me think a Sunday comic about a guy getting his tongue cut off and a guy shown hanged by his scarf might just be a little toooooo over the top…even if its about some idiot’s fantasy life?

    I don’t know – on a scale of 1 to Dick Tracy, that’s about a 3. And that’s just talking about today’s DT, not the original Chester Gould version with bad guys grimmacing as Tracy shot them between the eyes and the deformed bullet spinning out the back of their skulls, or a carload of crime bosses screaming in agony as they burn to death after they t-boned a tanker truck full of gasoline. Of course, that was a simpler, more wholesome era.

  188. commodorejohn
    September 13th, 2010 at 4:09 pm [Reply]

    @cheech wizard (#187): It says a lot about Dick Tracy that I honestly don’t know whether you’re exaggerating, but I suspect not.

  189. teenchy
    September 13th, 2010 at 4:09 pm [Reply]

    @Artist formerly known as Ben (#167): Okay, so I oversimplified it. I agree with you wholeheartedly: not only is it unfunny, it is unfunny in a way that potentially insults a large portion of its readership.

  190. cheech wizard
    September 13th, 2010 at 4:12 pm [Reply]

    @ArchieNemesis (#186): Yasser Arafat? I thought he looked more like Jake Gyllenhaal.

  191. cheech wizard
    September 13th, 2010 at 4:13 pm [Reply]

    @commodorejohn (#188): I’m not – believe me, I’m not.

  192. LogopolisMike
    September 13th, 2010 at 4:18 pm [Reply]

    A3G:

    So I used to be embarrassed of my brownish-red hair when I was younger (I can’t even remember why now) until I started online dating and realized that some of the hottest guys who I would ever get interested in me also, fortunately, had a ginger fetish. It got to the point where I would downplay this quality, not because I was ashamed, but because I wouldn’t want to disappoint them and be not red enough. What I’m saying is, if the colorist is ever interested in dudes and has also co-starred in some top notch Falcon pornography, I think I know him.

    Speaking of bringing things of a sexual nature where they don’t belong, with Sunday’s cliffhanger being repeated as Monday’s strip and me dying to know what fate hath be fallen Tommy, my brain thought a phrase that I didn’t think was possible, let alone was something I’d ever think:

    “Apartment 3-G is really leaving me with blue balls.*”

    which, yes, made me shudder completely.

    Shylock Fox:
    What’s funniest to me about the solution — and to the discussion in this thread – is that it reminds me of a nearly identical solution to an Encyclopedia Brown story.

    SPOILER SPACE

    BECAUSE WE’RE IN 2nd GRADE in 1983

    See, Bugs Meany or one of the other Tigers or some other ne’er do well kid in Idaville had put together this fake bullfighting ring (that he was charging for) except with a dog. (I think he had knives for horns but may be misremembering because (a) that can’t possibly be right and (b) I remember it being on the cover of the book (which is why I remember this story), and illustrating knives tied to the head of dog just couldn’t have been done) And Encyclopedia Brown, Idaville’s answer to a question nobody asked, sneered that the whole thing was a fraud because the dog wasn’t being riled up by the red cape because dogs were colorblind.

    This amuses me because
    (a) if there were still knives on the dog, it would be quite a show, and
    (b) bulls apparently aren’t attracted to the red cape either, which means that, these days, anybody could be the star kid detective in Idaville.

    We live in a Wikipedia Brown world, like it or not.

    * which would probably be colored orange

  193. LogopolisMike
    September 13th, 2010 at 4:19 pm [Reply]

    @cheech wizard (#190): Yasser Arafat? I thought he looked more like Jake Gyllenhaal.

    Speaking of phrases I never thought I’d hear.

  194. Poteet
    September 13th, 2010 at 4:27 pm [Reply]

    @Old School Allie Cat (#166): My fantasy hair is red and curly. Meaning that’s the kind of hair I’d put on my own head if I were designing myself from scratch. I think curly hair is beautiful. Though I don’t think it’s doing much for Lu Ann.

  195. Artist formerly known as Ben
    September 13th, 2010 at 4:30 pm [Reply]

    @cheech wizard (#190): Does that make Joey Heath Ledger? Brain! Step back from the abyss!

  196. Steve the Pocket
    September 13th, 2010 at 4:35 pm [Reply]

    @LogopolisMike (#192): “Wikipedia Brown” would be a great parody. He “solves” crimes based on “facts” that are actually wrong, and gets a bunch of kids in trouble for stuff they didn’t do.

  197. UncleJeff
    September 13th, 2010 at 4:40 pm [Reply]

    @Steve the Pocket (#196): According from the teachers I know, I think we already have a bunch of little “Wikipedia Browns” getting into trouble with their essays :)

  198. UncleJeff
    September 13th, 2010 at 4:40 pm [Reply]

    According TO the teachers I know.
    Dammit.

  199. cheech wizard
    September 13th, 2010 at 4:46 pm [Reply]

    @Artist formerly known as Ben (#195): Whichever one said “I wish I could quit you!” would have to be Dennis. Because Joey never talks.

  200. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    September 13th, 2010 at 4:48 pm [Reply]

    I’ve mentioned this before, but there’s a trope for that.

    mmmmm, redheads. . . . .

  201. Chip Whittle
    September 13th, 2010 at 5:01 pm [Reply]

    Funky Winkerbean: “So you don’t think this is crazy?” What, for trying to morph into the Teenage Funky Winkerbean in the delusion that something could bring happiness to Les Moore? What could possibly be crazy about that?

    Gasoline Alley: Man, those disposable phones are really disposable if they’re only good for one call each.

    Mary Worth: “I’d love to do lunch, but you should know that I’ve morphed into a teenage George Takei!” “Wait, I…can’t commit to love because of those packs of teenage George Takeis roaming the streets!”

    Slylock Fox: Hang on, isn’t this a rerun?

    Also, to be curmudgeonly, I note that William Baring-Gould’s Sherlock Holmes of Baker Street : a Life of the World’s First Consulting Detective is usually filed under nonfiction, and works following in that vein, like Nick Rennison’s Sherlock Holmes : the Unauthorized Biography are too. They’re put in the English Literature section of the 820s, but I could see a library deciding that some fictional people are worth being put in Biography, either on the endcaps to tie in with some other event (“It’s Arthur Conan Doyle’s birthday! Read! Or Else!”) or as a general policy.

  202. demoncat
    September 13th, 2010 at 8:03 pm [Reply]

    dr. mike is smiling because he figures he can maybe find some happiness with Jena and not because Mary decided it had to be. or he has finaly figured he fell under Marys power. the look on Lu anns face is that she really does not care what she looks like for it will never change her existance plus she wants to not show any exitement when Margo finaly murders kat and her daughter. the sound of brads voice off pannel and not shown in Lu ann means Dink is proably in the bathroom picking up where he left off long ago with Brad

  203. Apeman
    September 14th, 2010 at 2:27 am [Reply]

    While LuAnn’s hair isn’t brown, neither is it red. I think what’s happened is that someone got a hold of a nice shade of University of Texas burnt orange and this is the first step into turning LuAnn into a Longhorn mascot in time for football season.

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