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Friday of letdowns (except for Mark Trail, who never lets us down)

Dennis the Menace, 10/22/10

Ha ha! It’s funny because Mr. Wilson’s life has been an endless series of disappointments, which is why he’s so angry all the time!

Mark Trail, 10/22/10

Oh, come on, Mark, you get a chance to punch an animal-hating baddie in the face two or three times a year. Don’t expect us to play along like this isn’t a thing that you do, constantly. (“Dear Punching Magazine: I never thought this would happen to me…”)

Pluggers, 10/22/10

I don’t see any DTV converter box anywhere in this panel, so I’m guessing that our poor plugger has been fiddling with the various knobs on that ol’ TV for about 14 months now. Not constantly, obviously; but every once in a while, when he’s feeling particularly bored and lonely, he turns on the old set, sees there’s still nothing but snow on the screen, and jiggers the buttons, thinking this time, maybe this time he’ll get his stories back. And the game. I just want to watch the game in peace, lord, is that so much to ask? Maybe it’s the horizontal. Did I try playing with the horizontal last time? Maybe I didn’t, and this time it’ll work.

456 responses to “Friday of letdowns (except for Mark Trail, who never lets us down)”

  1. Plinko Commie
    October 22nd, 2010 at 9:54 am [Reply]

    Hey, at least he still has his TV! Poor Rhino Man is still stuck with his AM radio to keep him company on those long, lonely nights after he hocked his Dumont set for Aristocrat vodka money

  2. Shermy Glamrocker
    October 22nd, 2010 at 9:55 am [Reply]

    A moment of silence, please, for Mr. Bob Guccione, for without him, Josh’s “Dear Punching Magazine …” reference wouldn’t make a lick of sense.

  3. Chyron HR
    October 22nd, 2010 at 9:57 am [Reply]

    “Why don’t you play golf, Mister Wilson?”
    “Because no matter how hard cartoonists try to convince us otherwise, golf is never going to be America’s pastime.”

  4. commodorejohn
    October 22nd, 2010 at 9:58 am [Reply]

    Eh, what the hell.

    Archie – Wait, when did Archie turn into Gil Thorp?

    Bizarro – I like her. Maybe next she can point out that for the same amount of money, he could get a real portable computer that’s nearly three times as powerful.

    Crankshaft – Uh, is he supposed to be falling, or trying to go all Prince Of Persia? I mean, typically you fall down, not forward. Either way, I’ll take it.

    DT – “He also pretends to be Dracula for some reason.”

    FW – OH THOSE AWFUL MEDIA PEOPLE HOW CAN THEY NOT UNDERSTAND THE TRAGEDY AND PAIN OF SIMPLY EXISTING? God almighty, do I wish I could reach through the screen and give Les a wedgie.

    H&L – Why is it always “Purple Haze?” Don’t get me wrong, it’s a fine song, but Hendrix was anything but a one-hit wonder. Hell, doesn’t anybody remember “Voodoo Child (Slight Return)?” C’mon, Walkers, I’m 25, and even I know this stuff. What’s your excuse?

    Love Is… – NNNGRRRRGHL


    MT – Mark needs to get in some Fist O’Justice before the mama deer returns to take over. [*]

    MW – “Look! I’m Mussolini!”

    MC – Oh, Ashley. You never fail to make me grin wickedly.

    OB – Portrait of a young Josh Fruhlinger?

    OBH – “Shifty nut-hoarding bastards!”

    Popeye – “She doesn’t throw?” That’s not what Poopdeck Pappy said…

    Pluggers – You’re a Plugger if you have a deep-seated aversion to technology that works.

    Shoe – It’s a Plugger!

    SM – “He acted a little skeezy…and then left! How sinister!

  5. Chip
    October 22nd, 2010 at 9:59 am [Reply]

    Actually, Mark’s referring to the fact that he just punched a clean-shaven man! When’s THAT ever happened before?

  6. Rollory
    October 22nd, 2010 at 9:59 am [Reply]

    My parents still have their old TV, still use it, it still works. This is apparently because the towers that rebroadcast the digital signal over the local airwaves were never turned off. So, the DTV conversion isn’t as absolute as people want you to think.

  7. TheDiva
    October 22nd, 2010 at 10:01 am [Reply]

    @Carl Barks Fan (#y248): Well, I’m normally not one to defend vapid, puerile morning radio shows, but surely Les and/or his publicist should have realized what sort of program this would be before he went on it? Then again, Les seems unable to fathom why anyone wouldn’t want to weep and moan at the Shrine of Cancer-Stricken Lisa, and his publicist was a bag lady a year ago, so maybe this lapse of judgment isn’t entirely unexpected.

  8. Sgt Saunders
    October 22nd, 2010 at 10:06 am [Reply]

    Les doesn’t realize that he’s shifted gears from waxing romantic about his life with his beloved sick broad to selling books. His troubled narrative is now a product, Lisa is a brand, and in today’s marketplace, he’s quickly emerging as Baron Von Fubar

  9. Amateur
    October 22nd, 2010 at 10:09 am [Reply]

    MT: Oh come on, Mark, sure you will. If ol’ Stepfather over there has kicked that fawn twice in two days, you’ll have lots of chances for punching.

    MW: I think Adrian’s dress peed in Jill’s cornflakes.

  10. nescio
    October 22nd, 2010 at 10:10 am [Reply]

    B.C. – Since Thor is obviously trying to kill Wolf with a chicken leg bone, we can presume that Wiley will poison Peter’s drink. Normally this would make me happy but I’m depressed after realizing I know all the characters’ names.

  11. Anonymous
    October 22nd, 2010 at 10:19 am [Reply]

    MT: The panel so nice they used it twice.

  12. Doctor Handsome
    October 22nd, 2010 at 10:20 am [Reply]

    The bad guy has kicked him twice now, but Lucky hasn’t budged an inch. That little deer’s a fucking badass.

  13. Anonymous
    October 22nd, 2010 at 10:21 am [Reply]

    Ok, on a rational level, I get it that the first panel of Mark Trail is probably just a recap of yesterday with slightly different dialogue. However, I’m still quite taken with the idea that the wannabe politician has just kicked the fawn a second time, and that, had Mark not intervened, he would have continued kicking the fawn in the butt, like a bored child kicking a can in front of him as he walks along the street. Continuing even until his foot broke and the deer’s rear legs collapsed, kicking and kicking forever, impervious both to his daughters anguished cries and the pointlessness of his misdirected aggression.
    And Mark’s right, he may never get another chance to save a man from himself by punching him back to his senses.

  14. LeNoceur
    October 22nd, 2010 at 10:22 am [Reply]

    With Dennis the Menace and Marmaduke movies already reality, and a Family Circus movie on the horizon, I have my fingers crossed for the eventual release of a Mark Trail film, complete with freakishly oversized animals, mutant children, and punching. Lots of punching.

  15. teenchy
    October 22nd, 2010 at 10:22 am [Reply]

    @Shermy Glamrocker (#2): My thoughts exactly. It helps if you read it in Gooch’s decadent, gravelly voice.

  16. Sequitur
    October 22nd, 2010 at 10:22 am [Reply]

    Pluggers: We still get channels 6 and 44 in analog. This is strange because we didn’t have a channel 6 or 44 before the digital conversion. One is a Spanish religious station and the other plays Spanish music. No videos, just the music with a graphic that lets you know you’re tuned to channel 6 (or seis).

    So, Plugger guy. C’mon down, learn Spanish, get religion and dance the night away!

  17. The Modesto Kid
    October 22nd, 2010 at 10:24 am [Reply]

    “Dear Punching Magazine: I never thought this would happen to me…”

    Speaking of which, RIP Bob Guccione…

  18. Just Call Me E
    October 22nd, 2010 at 10:25 am [Reply]

    Oh Happy Friday! Mark Trail punches someone and Crankshaft commits suicide! My week is complete! :-)

  19. Sequitur
    October 22nd, 2010 at 10:25 am [Reply]

    ¿Puede un Plugger aprender español?

  20. Dood
    October 22nd, 2010 at 10:25 am [Reply]

    Mark’s right. How often do you get the chance to punch someone just after that someone has kicked a deer in the ass? Not very often, my friends.

    And Beth, your pleas for mercy for stepfather dearest won’t work while Mark’s got this once-in-a-lifetime opportunity.

  21. The Modesto Kid
    October 22nd, 2010 at 10:25 am [Reply]

    Pwn’d by Shermy.

  22. Bootsy
    October 22nd, 2010 at 10:28 am [Reply]

    I so want Mary to point her finger right in Jill’s face and say “There’s no I in team but there are three Us in shut the fuck up!”

    Or I want Jill to do that to Mary. Really, your choice.

  23. Patrick
    October 22nd, 2010 at 10:29 am [Reply]

    You’re a Plugger if you frantically try to adjust your TV to get one more minute of broadcasted happiness before the black, inky mass of nothingness creeps in from the right-hand side of your living room and eats away your lifeblood.

  24. commodorejohn
    October 22nd, 2010 at 10:29 am [Reply]

    @LeNoceur (#14): YES. It would have to somehow both embrace its own lunacy and yet not camp it up, but if it captured the straight-faced insanity of the comic strip, it would be a masterpiece.

  25. Dood
    October 22nd, 2010 at 10:29 am [Reply]

    Look at the rendering of the lower portion of Frank’s body, the hilariously foreshortened, angled teeny leg and the detailed boot, plus his itty bitty hand. It’s almost like an homage to Mad magazine or They’ll Do It Every Time.

  26. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    October 22nd, 2010 at 10:30 am [Reply]

    @nescio (#10): that’s not chicken, it’s a leg from an apteryx, a wingless bird with hairy feathers.

  27. Readem and Laf
    October 22nd, 2010 at 10:30 am [Reply]

    Mark Trail’s car, if he owns a car, sports the bumper sticker:

    “Perform Random Acts of Gratuitous Violence.”

    I mean really, what’s the justification for Mark’s action, and why did the deer, which the plot line has warned us will sprout horns and become dangerous, stand so still and close in order to be kicked? How is this realistic?

  28. zenvelo
    October 22nd, 2010 at 10:31 am [Reply]

    @Sequitur (#16): are you sure your TV isn’t tuned to this?:

  29. Dood
    October 22nd, 2010 at 10:33 am [Reply]

    With blunt fingers like those, how does that Plugger adjust anything?

    Can we institute a campaign to bring back Sheila Roo, the lone, somewhat attractive, Plugger?

  30. Austria
    October 22nd, 2010 at 10:34 am [Reply]

    FW: Check under the table. He probably died of cancer.

    MT: Not only one, but two days devoted to kicking a helpless fawn in the tuckus? AND bonus punching?! What have we done to deserve such joys?

    MG&G: Every “sucks” is one “sucks” closer to getting the word approved for newspaper comics for good!! *rubs hands together evilly*

    PBS: Whoa, hacky sack? That’s still around? Geez, I thought that died out back in, like, ’01. California must be a very mysterious place.

    Jeremy’s Parents: Ha ha! It’s funny because…oh geez, just bring Pierce back and end this misery. Please.

  31. The Modesto Kid
    October 22nd, 2010 at 10:39 am [Reply]

    @LeNoceur (#14): But with Gary Cooper and John Wayne no longer with us, it’s hard for me to imagine who would play Mr. Trail.

  32. Pamster
    October 22nd, 2010 at 10:41 am [Reply]

    MT–I’m convinced that Lucky is a young gerenuk, which would place Lost Forest somewhere in east Africa. More information about gerenuks can be found on the internet.

  33. Austria
    October 22nd, 2010 at 10:41 am [Reply]

    Oh! And @queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#y188): EXACTLY. Though, now I’m wondering who poor Finland is.

  34. Marvin's mom
    October 22nd, 2010 at 10:43 am [Reply]

    FW: Aw, come on, Les. I’m sure Opie & Anthony would have let you go on and on about the horrible cancer–and then played the laugh track.

  35. That Library Nut
    October 22nd, 2010 at 10:44 am [Reply]

    FW: Lez has obviously had a massive brain cancer seizure, died, and vanished into a force ghost a la Star Wars.

    FC: The lines around Billy are somewhat disturbing. What could he be doing to Ma Keane’s leg that would cause th-NRGH NRGH NRGH BRAIN BLEACH

    MW: I’ll bet Adrian is thinking “why the @#$% did I invite these people to help me pick out my dress?” Oh wait, she’s Adrian, so she’s not thinking anything.

    MT: Mark punched the guy so hard, it’s creating a large white energy blast that is ripping a hole in space/time!

    Pickles: The Batman’s picture’s on the back? Wouldn’t that make him the Buttman?

  36. Scott Bot
    October 22nd, 2010 at 10:44 am [Reply]

    I think Les is worried that he might actually hear something funny on the radio show, and that laughing instead of smirking might make his face break.

  37. Carlo
    October 22nd, 2010 at 10:45 am [Reply]

    MT: Does not compute. The senator doesn’t have facial hair, and his sideburns are no longer than Mark Trail’s. Also, that fawn looks like a mule deer, not a white tail, in which case it should be drawn larger than it is.

    @Chyron HR (#3): And sports announcers. If I hear one more announcer in a football game tell me about how poorly he plays, I’m going to drive to the stadium and stick a 6-iron up his butt.

    FW: Batiuk continues his stroke fest of how principled he would be if only the literary world would take him seriously (I think of him as Eli Cash from “The Royal Tenenbaums”). But as Spunde (y#270) pointed out, maybe we should all start wearing WWLD bracelets.

    Hey Josh, why don’t you read Funky so I don’t have to? It’s in your mission statement.

  38. commodorejohn
    October 22nd, 2010 at 10:45 am [Reply]

    @The Modesto Kid (#31): Oh, easy: Peter Kelleghan, a.k.a. Ranger Gord from The Red Green Show. He looks the part, sounds the part, and if you stripped his character of human attachment, he’d be Mark Trail.

  39. imperturbe
    October 22nd, 2010 at 10:51 am [Reply]

    FW – What cover for Lisa’s book did he decide on? Was it peaceful meadow, or the “somber” one that allows us to confront our problems? Either one, I’d think “Rob Radio’s Kancer Korner” would have only feature a book if it were written by “The Situation”.

  40. commodorejohn
    October 22nd, 2010 at 10:52 am [Reply]

    Actually, I think the hardest part of doing a Mark Trail movie would be inventing the camera technology to capture the feel of a world where perspective is variable or nonexistent.

  41. John Small Berries
    October 22nd, 2010 at 10:54 am [Reply]

    Wow. Mark Trail punched Future Governor Frank so hard, it retroactively erased his facial hair from history!

  42. tbiggs
    October 22nd, 2010 at 10:54 am [Reply]

    Trail is turning into a regular delinquent. He jumps onto this man’s property, then assaults him in front of witnesses which include a senator. Wasn’t it just a few months ago he broke into a garage to steal tools? And assualt-by-punch has been an ongoing issue for him. He’s right, he may not get to do that much any more, if there is a three-strikes law in his state.

  43. bats :[
    October 22nd, 2010 at 10:54 am [Reply]

    @Shermy Glamrocker (#2): Oh, no! I hadn’t realized Bob had shuffled off the mortal, Vaseline-coated coil! Well, there’s our triple: Barbara Billingsley, Tom Bosley, and Bob Gucionne (hmmm, so much for wholesomeness…).

  44. Dondi's Dad
    October 22nd, 2010 at 10:55 am [Reply]

    It depends. If the makers of “The Adventures of Mark Trail” actually took him seriously, they’d probably go with Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson in the title role. If they were making the movie fully aware of how absurd Mark is, Jim Carrey (in his angry stare mode) seems the obvious choice.

    No suggestions on where they’d find so many ugly children, though.

  45. JupiterPluvius
    October 22nd, 2010 at 10:57 am [Reply]

    You have got to be stone evil to kick the ass of an adorable little fawn. I bet Hitler wouldn’t even do that.

  46. James
    October 22nd, 2010 at 11:00 am [Reply]

    How long has that guy been kicking that deer? Little girl was able to shout three things all during the kick, as I’m pretty sure deer aren’t the kind of animal that waits around after the first kick to see if you’re gonna do it again

  47. Scott Bot
    October 22nd, 2010 at 11:02 am [Reply]

    Frank better be careful, or he’s gonna fall and bust his head open on that ‘Jack Elrod’ ball lying on that bush.

  48. Spunde
    October 22nd, 2010 at 11:03 am [Reply]

    Lucky doesn’t understand the hostility Frank has toward his butt.

  49. Mr. Goboto
    October 22nd, 2010 at 11:03 am [Reply]

    Crankshaft: I really hope Batuik is going to give us a panel-by-panel recreation of that scene in Flatliners.

    FC-revised: You know what , Mommy? Sometimes, [when you take your happy pills], you’re as much fun as our baby sitter [when she brings her silly smoke], [but why is it other times you both just lie on the couch crying?]

    FW: Les’s most hateful hook-up? Banging a chick just so he could write book about her cancer.

    Garf: As a picker, I’m mightily offended — that Jon is one of us, that is.

    @commodorejohn (#4) Re: S-M: Had it been one of the Marvel beefcakes, they would have thought him dashing and mysterious. Uglism is an ugly thing, people.

    @Austria (#30) re: MT: We, read the strip. That is all Jack El Rod asks of his children, and for it, we are richly rewarded.

  50. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    October 22nd, 2010 at 11:04 am [Reply]

    MT: No time today for full-fledged snark, but I’d like to announce that as of today, my motto is “I MAY NOT GET ANOTHER CHANCE TO DO THIS!“—followed, whenever possible, by my own version of Fisty Justice.

  51. Anonymous
    October 22nd, 2010 at 11:05 am [Reply]

    Pluggers — Around these parts, the spanish-language channels still broadcast on analog repeaters. So Plugger-dog-man has that going for him, I guess.

  52. nescio
    October 22nd, 2010 at 11:08 am [Reply]

    @queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#26): You’re right. At least it’s not a leg from a clam.

  53. Scott Bot
    October 22nd, 2010 at 11:08 am [Reply]

    @Anonymous (#51): Which is ironic, because most Pluggers I know are the ‘you’re in America, speak American’ types.

  54. Dood
    October 22nd, 2010 at 11:08 am [Reply]

    Who would win if Mark punched the Jack Elrod ball?

  55. Écureuil Écumant
    October 22nd, 2010 at 11:09 am [Reply]

    @The Modesto Kid (#31): I cast my vote for Steven Seagal. Got the right look and the propensity for punchedelia.

  56. Écureuil Écumant
    October 22nd, 2010 at 11:12 am [Reply]

    Rarely-referenced Brewster Rockit ekes a new chuckle out of a shaggy-dog scenario.

  57. The Modesto Kid
    October 22nd, 2010 at 11:13 am [Reply]

    Or they could go way, way campy and cast John Travolta. That would be worth watching.

  58. Dood
    October 22nd, 2010 at 11:13 am [Reply]

    @The Modesto Kid (#31): Steve Carell. And bring back the pipe for the movie.

  59. Maggie
    October 22nd, 2010 at 11:14 am [Reply]

    A second day in a row of deer kicking, PLUS Mark punched a guy horizontal? Red letter day, guys. This kind of stuff only happens but once ever other monthish.

  60. Écureuil Écumant
    October 22nd, 2010 at 11:14 am [Reply]

    @The Modesto Kid (#57): Justin Bieber as Rusty? Hell yeah.

  61. Mumblix Grumph
    October 22nd, 2010 at 11:16 am [Reply]

    Gee, Mr. Wilson, why don’t you play golf?

    Beat it, kid…I have to finish burying this wino before Martha gets back from Wal-mart.

  62. BeeF
    October 22nd, 2010 at 11:18 am [Reply]

    Yesterday that deer looked shocked at being kicked. Today it’s decidedly nonplussed. Let’s see what expression tomorrow’s panel brings. Either Governor wannabe can’t kick worth a damn or that’s one kinky fawn.

  63. Dood
    October 22nd, 2010 at 11:18 am [Reply]

    @Écureuil Écumant (#60): How about Jack Black as Doc and Anne Hathaway as Cherry?

  64. Mibbitmaker
    October 22nd, 2010 at 11:22 am [Reply]

    @bats :[ (#43): Well, if Mrs. Cleaver and Mr. Cunningham had a steamy affair….

  65. Ed Dravecky
    October 22nd, 2010 at 11:28 am [Reply]

    With the last several of Mark Trail’s adventures ending without so much as a slap, this is Elrod’s way of alerting faithful readers (i.e., the elderly, the criminally insane, and us) that Mark’s various restraining orders and parole conditions are going to continue to hamper his violent style.

  66. Mibbitmaker
    October 22nd, 2010 at 11:28 am [Reply]

    @Dood (#54): All of humanity.

  67. Roto13
    October 22nd, 2010 at 11:31 am [Reply]

    Today’s Mark Trail is very important. It shows that Mark doesn’t just punch out of necessity. He punches because it’s what he loves to do. He’s clearly been waiting for the perfect opportunity to punch what’s-his-name since he went to visit him about the fence. Now he’s gone and kicked a fawn, and Mark is free to unleash his fury upon him. It’s been a while since he’s decked a guy, too. It must be like a fistgasm for him today.

  68. bats :[
    October 22nd, 2010 at 11:35 am [Reply]

    Everyone is talking about the double-booting of Lucky. Speaking of doubles (hey, TGIF and all)…

  69. Ray Jay
    October 22nd, 2010 at 11:36 am [Reply]

    MT: It looks like he’s just kicking a plastic reindeer display for Christmas.

  70. Soap Watcher
    October 22nd, 2010 at 11:39 am [Reply]

    I think Mark Trail has a friend in 3G’s Iris today, who declared that she doesn’t “belive in delayed gratification.” I was struck by the image of Iris “paw[ing] through her parcels” and producing “pecan pie.” I think she should get points for alliteration, as well as for sending Margo to get forks. But most of all, for shoving an unwrapped pecan pie in with the rest of the stuff, and not caring if it gets all linty.

  71. AndyL
    October 22nd, 2010 at 11:42 am [Reply]

    What does Mark Trail even mean in that panel? Is there some obscure law that says that if someone kicks a fawn it’s legal to punch them in the face?

  72. Mibbitmaker
    October 22nd, 2010 at 11:45 am [Reply]

    A3G: Iris has absorbed all the personality from her entire family into herself. And that, my friends, explains Tommie.

    Popeye: Olive’s Law. Is that anything like Burke’s Law?

    FW: Radio guys, he just did you a huuuuuuuuuuuuge favor!

    Crank: You’re no Mark Trail, Ed.

    S-M: …for at least two reasons (yecch!)

    Curtis: You would if you didn’t have them, brat!

    BC: Examples of what Chuck Jones meant about a dog’s “big, sad, soulful eyes routine”.

    Cleats: Speak for yourself, last panel!

    DT: …and lame magic tricks.


    HotC: Toy store guy shows up at Rover-from-GA’s truck. “Move over…”

    OBH: Don’t stand too close to “Mutts” then, Ruthie.

  73. Little Guy
    October 22nd, 2010 at 11:48 am [Reply]

    @JupiterPluvius (#45): There’s a “Downfall” parody waiting to happen with today’s Mark Trail punch.

    And, of course, Mark’s not going to have another chance. Dick Cheney has target and tone on him.

  74. Andie
    October 22nd, 2010 at 11:54 am [Reply]

    Giggler/Lurker chiming in on my picks for the Mark Trail movie.

    Mark – Patrick Warburton
    Rusty – That kid from Charlie and the Chocolate factory and Finding Neverland. He’s got the ears.

  75. Jesse C
    October 22nd, 2010 at 11:56 am [Reply]

    Violence against animals is wrong.

    Violence against humans is AWESOME!

  76. Ed Dravecky
    October 22nd, 2010 at 12:00 pm [Reply]

    Kudos to Ruben Bolling! This week’s Tom the Dancing Bug has neatly summarized the last five years of Spider-Man newspaper strips with “Hates-Crime Man”. Enjoy.

  77. Lars the Lurker
    October 22nd, 2010 at 12:00 pm [Reply]

    Crankshaft would benefit from two things: a fourth panel, all black, then never returning. The end.

  78. Stroker Ace
    October 22nd, 2010 at 12:05 pm [Reply]

    Zits – Finally, self-absorbed Jeremy gets a verbal smack down from Mom. If the strip would end today all could be forgiven.

  79. Mel aka Mel
    October 22nd, 2010 at 12:05 pm [Reply]

    @bats :[ (#43): When famous folks die in multiples like that, I always think of a weird elevator ride to the afterlife. The awkward tightlipped, smiles and nods as each gets on. Trying not to stare if they kind of recognize each other; trying to avoid, “Hey! How are ya? Oh…yeah, me too…” if they do. Celestial Muzak.

  80. Mr. Goboto
    October 22nd, 2010 at 12:06 pm [Reply]

    Just to get in on the Mark Trail casting action — How about this as the Jack Elrod ball?

  81. Calico
    October 22nd, 2010 at 12:11 pm [Reply]

    I’m reading the daily comix now (lunch break), and all I can say about today’s Mark Trail is WOW, with a cherry on top (not his gf)!

    I’m actually going to e-mail today’s strip to my Veterinarian friend, who is all for animal justice and protection. She’s very snarky too, so hopefully this will make her day/weekend.

    As for today’s Zits, I actually laughed out loud. We have a thirteen year old girl in the family who is going through all the requisite tween emotional stuff – I look at her and think “Did I do that at her age? Of course not!” : P

  82. Plinko Commie
    October 22nd, 2010 at 12:11 pm [Reply]

    An alternate theory to Les Moore’s Bataan Death Media Tour: Les’s press agent reads the book, which I’m guessing makes Love Story read like Everybody Poops, and decides that this is so over-the-top, it has to be either broad parody or 4chan-level trolling. She sets up availabilities with morning zoos and crappy TV reporters to see how far Les is willing to push this act of his. The arc ends on Jerry Springer, when the agent assumes either a) Les admits Lisa is the wicked personification of his sexual preference pathos and killed her off as a way of coming out of the closet, or b) Lisa storms onto the stage when she discovers Les has been using her as a prop for a crappy book, and they scuffle. Also he’s leaving her for a stripper.

    Imagine her disappointment when she discovers that Lisa’s Song is actually a nonfiction book, Lisa actually did die of cancer, and Westview is a depressing shitsburg even by Northeast Ohio standards. Now you know why LeBron James told them to f off on ESPN.

  83. Mudhead
    October 22nd, 2010 at 12:11 pm [Reply]

    I’m sorry you didn’t post Wednesday’s Mark Trail. When Mark tells Mr. Would-Be Governor and the Senator that “I’m your worst enemy,” threatening to write up a story that may spell the end to their political ambitions, he clearly didn’t calculate the possibilities of making these threats to two stressed-out men with loaded rifles. Perhaps they didn’t off Mark on the spot because they realize that noone reads the drivel he writes anyway.

  84. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    October 22nd, 2010 at 12:18 pm [Reply]

    @Readem and Laf (#27): If Mark had really wanted to do something unexpected and radical, he should have waited for Frank to come running up to kick the fawn, and then yank it away at the last second. WUMP!

    @The Modesto Kid (#31): Who would play Mark Trail? Russell Crowe! “Foightin’ round the world!”

  85. Calico
    October 22nd, 2010 at 12:19 pm [Reply]

    Oh, and Josh – mentioning “Stories” Re: Pluggers is a real hoot.
    (Old-fashioned term for Soap Operas, sadly a dying breed – but at least we still have La Lucci to lust over).

    Elrod would enjoy this – Caps-lock day:
    Now we need an All-bold day in his honor.

  86. Mel aka Mel
    October 22nd, 2010 at 12:19 pm [Reply]

    Mark Trail the Movie:

    Steve Carell as Mark

    Sherilyn Fenn as Cherry and her evil twin Kelly Welly

    Joaquin Phoenix as The Hairy Man

    William Shatner as all of the senators

    Peter Dinklage as Rusty

  87. Mark D. White
    October 22nd, 2010 at 12:22 pm [Reply]

    @Bootsy (#22): Bootsy, that has got to be the funniest thing I have read in years – thank you, sir.

  88. fahrenheit451
    October 22nd, 2010 at 12:22 pm [Reply]

    This is only the second storyline I’ve followed in MT, so I guess it’s my first MT punch! Who’s next in line-the Senator, the fawn, or the kid?

  89. commodorejohn
    October 22nd, 2010 at 12:24 pm [Reply]

    DON’T kick that deer, hand me the pliers!

  90. stinkybisquits
    October 22nd, 2010 at 12:30 pm [Reply]

    Is Mark Trail in reality, Padre Pio? Who else could bilocate from one side of the deer to the other.

  91. Hank
    October 22nd, 2010 at 12:36 pm [Reply]

    @Dondi’s Dad (#44): IMHO, the perfect actor for Mark Trail (comedy or drama) would Jon “Mad Men” Hamm. Not only does he look as much like Mark as a human being can, if you’ve seen him on Saturday Night Live you’ll know he’s adept at comedy. Get Hamm and have him play Mark ala Leslie Nielsen in “the Naked Gun” crossed with Adam West and the comedy writes itself.

  92. Charlene
    October 22nd, 2010 at 12:40 pm [Reply]

    @Mel aka Mel (#86): There is only one man capable of playing Mark Trail: Chuck Norris.

  93. Mel aka Mel
    October 22nd, 2010 at 12:45 pm [Reply]

    @Charlene (#92): I don’t think his hands are small enough…but it is Chuck…he could method act small hands and make you believe it!

  94. BigTed
    October 22nd, 2010 at 12:45 pm [Reply]

    Most deer can outrun bobcats, coyotes and even bullets, but this one can’t move fast enough to avoid getting kicked in the butt? Sorry, dude — if you’re that slow, you deserve what you get.

  95. Dood
    October 22nd, 2010 at 12:46 pm [Reply]

    I hope Joe, the former ranch foreman, is on the hill overlooking the fenced-in area getting great shots of all this action with the dildo camera.

  96. LogopolisMike
    October 22nd, 2010 at 12:48 pm [Reply]

    @bats :[ (#43):

    I think Barbara Billingsly, Tom Bosley and Bob Guccione make quite a logical triple if you think “people who, for better or for worse, shaped a generation’s idea of love, family, and romance”; personally, I was a fan of all three.

    Penthouse letters that involved two guys — even not doing anything with each other but just the idea of men sharing sex — well, you can’t imagine how exciting even a hint of that was to me at a certain age. It’s seems silly now, and remarkable how things have changed (and of course how certain things need to still change), but seriously… perhaps, I’ve said too much.

  97. That Library Nut
    October 22nd, 2010 at 12:48 pm [Reply]

    @Mel aka Mel (#86): Don’t forget Robin Williams as every one of the animals ever.

  98. Mel aka Mel
    October 22nd, 2010 at 12:49 pm [Reply]

    By the way:


  99. Walker of Dog
    October 22nd, 2010 at 12:51 pm [Reply]

    @Scott Bot (#Y268) regarding DT panel 2: A beach volleyball player is giving a block signal to her teammate during a tournament at a Pioneer Days festival.

    Come on, SB, they’ve been foreshadowing this plot point for weeks. Try to pay attention.

  100. JustMe
    October 22nd, 2010 at 12:54 pm [Reply]

    Mark Trail might not get another chance to hit a man without facial hair, true enough.

  101. Scott Bot
    October 22nd, 2010 at 12:57 pm [Reply]

    @Walker of Dog (#99): Ah, thanks, that makes perfect sense now. I guess I am just not up on this modern art stuff. But what do I know? I just come here to see the cute girls in the Mod Cloth ads…

  102. Artist formerly known as Ben
    October 22nd, 2010 at 12:59 pm [Reply]

    @Ed Dravecky (#76): Dinkle the Unloveable Loser stole a joke from the Mel Gibson Simpsons episode and added an ungainly rape overtone to it. But I loved both Hates-Crime Man and Rutger and Chaos Butterfly.

  103. Daniel
    October 22nd, 2010 at 12:59 pm [Reply]

    9CL Well, back to faintly-humorous characters and Lovecraftian horror.

    That MOUTH.


  104. boojum
    October 22nd, 2010 at 1:13 pm [Reply]

    @AndyL (#71):

    Is there some obscure law that says that if someone kicks a fawn it’s legal to punch them in the face?

    That would be your Code of the Trail.

  105. Bootsy
    October 22nd, 2010 at 1:17 pm [Reply]

    @Mark D. White (#87): Why, you are very welcome! (And it’s ma’am, by the way. But no matter.)

  106. boojum
    October 22nd, 2010 at 1:17 pm [Reply]

  107. Écureuil Écumant
    October 22nd, 2010 at 1:29 pm [Reply]

    @stinkybisquits (#90): I’d have to argue for Teresa of Avila instead, if only because of Pio’s big-ass beard.

  108. enThrall
    October 22nd, 2010 at 1:29 pm [Reply]

    Oh, Josh: the deer got kicked, and yet Mark writes to Deer Punching magazine? Faux pas. (Or was that “doe” pas?)

  109. Artist formerly known as Ben
    October 22nd, 2010 at 1:34 pm [Reply]

    @commodorejohn (#89): All hail Firesign Theatre! Shoes for industry, shoes for defense!

  110. fishmorgjp
    October 22nd, 2010 at 1:44 pm [Reply]

    Wouldn’t it be even more impressive if Mean Frank had used his other leg to kick the fawn today? Sort of a one-two bad-guy move.

  111. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    October 22nd, 2010 at 1:44 pm [Reply]

    for bb,u.

    dogs of war, slipped.

    Heerz slow hugz if you needz one.

    Geeky parents and a Little Moment of Win.

  112. Heyo
    October 22nd, 2010 at 1:46 pm [Reply]

    FW: My God, what happened to Les? He gets douchier every day. I don’t remember him being this much of an ass before Batty’s time warp.

  113. Baka Gaijin
    October 22nd, 2010 at 1:49 pm [Reply]

  114. The FUNDRIVER
    October 22nd, 2010 at 1:54 pm [Reply]

    “I MAY NOT GET ANOTHER CHANCE TO DO THIS”, huh? It’s certainly no “Hasta la vista, baby”, but it might catch on.

  115. Bitter Scribe
    October 22nd, 2010 at 2:01 pm [Reply]

    “Where’s the oscillator on this thing??”

  116. Just Call Me E
    October 22nd, 2010 at 2:03 pm [Reply]

    @Lars the Lurker (#77): No, we get the black panel and then the next day he is in Westview circa 25 years ago where he gets himself a glass of water and buys a comic book …..oh wait…..

  117. Scott Bot
    October 22nd, 2010 at 2:03 pm [Reply]

    @Heyo (#112): No, it’s just that no one understands…

  118. Dennis Jimenez
    October 22nd, 2010 at 2:03 pm [Reply]

    MT – I can’t help but wonder about the physique of this guy, obscured behind the “don’t.” Is Mark bullying some psyche-scared victim of infantile paralysis? Perhaps he only beaned him with the Jack Elrod ball of justice….

  119. Baka Gaijin
    October 22nd, 2010 at 2:07 pm [Reply]

    Pluggers: Uh, dogman with the really bad toupe, to fix that 1962 Westinghouse 17-inch portable, you’ll need a medium and ouiji board.

    Snuffy Smith: Why is Loweezy laughing? As if she’s seen the shoes she’s wearing in at least half a century. Maybe if she gets some sturdy stablehands to lift and separate those sagging half-deflated zeppelins she calls breasts…

    One more: Jeremy calls it.

  120. Vermic
    October 22nd, 2010 at 2:07 pm [Reply]

    MT – Beth was referencing Frank’s 1990 hip-hop debut album, Please Frank, Don’t Hurt ‘Em. It sold 4,000 copies, reached #32,578 on the charts, and prompted a lawsuit from Rick James even though it contained no samples of his music. In bitterness, Frank retired to pursue a career in politics and ungulate abuse. He still has a warehouse full of gigantic unsold blue jackets.

  121. Dood
    October 22nd, 2010 at 2:18 pm [Reply]

    Now that he’s crossed punching Frank off his bucket list, what are other things Mark may not get another chance to do?

  122. Mr. Goboto
    October 22nd, 2010 at 2:26 pm [Reply]

    MW: Writer’s Tip O’th’Day—If the only way you can make your potagonist look good is by contrasting them against a total fucking pushover idiot and a Collosus of Rhodes-sized bitch, you suck.

  123. rembrandt36
    October 22nd, 2010 at 2:29 pm [Reply]

    9CL: Is is wrong for me to want every “main” female character of this strip to get the ever-loving shit beat out of them?

  124. Ethan Shuster
    October 22nd, 2010 at 2:30 pm [Reply]

    This may be the only time where Mark has admitted he enjoys punching people in the face. “I better hurry up and punch this bastard before this opportunity passes! I don’t care if that little kid is watching! WHAMMO!”

  125. Bootsy
    October 22nd, 2010 at 2:34 pm [Reply]

    @Baka Gaijin (#113):

    Baka, I love you!

  126. bats :[
    October 22nd, 2010 at 2:36 pm [Reply]

    @Soap Watcher (#70): maybe where she comes from (I hesitate to frame this as “Maybe in Ohio”), lint is a condiment.

  127. Alfred E. Neuman
    October 22nd, 2010 at 2:38 pm [Reply]

    Pickles— This strip doesn’t get much comment here because it’s usually just a bland variation on Pluggers. However, today’s strip is downright bizarre. It could have had a real punch line if the kid had said, “But Mom! I want to see Batman stick out his tongue!”

  128. Steve the Pocket
    October 22nd, 2010 at 2:38 pm [Reply]

    Mark Trail: Sure was nice of Elrod to reprise yesterday’s deer-kicking panel, even if it was the only panel in yesterday’s strip, so the Greatest Moment in Mark Trail History could be encapsulated in a single strip.

    I wonder if there’s some meaning behind “I may not get another chance to do this.” Is Elrod planning on retiring soon? I guess he might as well, because, let’s face it, how the hell is he ever going to top this? Talk about going out with a bang. Or rather, a ” “, seeing as there are mysteriously no sound effects in this strip.

    Pluggers: We get one analog channel here, an independent station that broadcasts mostly reruns of old shows. Seems plausible enough that a Plugger might just not care about losing any of the major networks if he still has a station like that around.

    That being said, if Cletis from The Simpsons can have an old satellite dish in his yard and a redneck comedian can call himself “Larry the Cable Guy”, I see no reason a Plugger can’t have either.

  129. reina
    October 22nd, 2010 at 2:42 pm [Reply]

    I cannot believe I noticed this, but…earlier today the MT strip was different. Rustina’s second bubble said, ‘RUN, LUCKY!’ It has now been changed to the second ‘DON’T’. That’s…weird, isn’t it?

    Oh God, I’m reduced to wondering about nonsensical censorship in Mark Trail. Shoot ME. Now.

  130. bats :[
    October 22nd, 2010 at 2:43 pm [Reply]

    @Mel aka Mel (#86): I like casting Steve Carrell as Mark. Mark seems to be fit without being overly muscular (they might have to CGI the tiny feet), and with a weird “disconnected” expression that Carrell does so well.

    I like the idea of Freddie Highmore as Rusty, but he’s growing up and looking more like singer James Blunt. Still, the kid’s a good actor, and he probably could pull off some of the more disturbing Rusty expressions:

    Oh, yeah…Paul Rudd for Rex Morgan, M.D.!

  131. Greg
    October 22nd, 2010 at 2:50 pm [Reply]

    MT: It’s missing a panel before “Please don’t hurt him!” In this previous missing panel she begs for her father’s life, admitting, yes he has sinned but surely Mark too, as a human has sinned as well? “Please don’t hurt him, oh God, Mr. Trail, don’t kill my daddy!” ….Mark simply can’t resist, explaining to poor Sally, “I may not get another chance to do this!”

  132. Anonymous
    October 22nd, 2010 at 2:51 pm [Reply]

    Yes, there is much to enjoy in this MT story line. For me, tho, the best part is a comparison between yesterday’s strip and the first panel of today’s strip where Mark is seemingly passing the time practising his Mr. Roboto moves. Thankfully for all of us he snapped out of his trance just in time to mett out some knuckle justice to gov hopeful Brad Wesley.

  133. SF_Reader
    October 22nd, 2010 at 3:04 pm [Reply]

    FW – Poor Les! How could he possibly appear on a silly radio show when he’s so seriously sad about Lisa’s long illness and subsequent death! That would be like, oh I don’t know, writing a comic for the funny pages about cancer? Unheard of!

  134. This Guy
    October 22nd, 2010 at 3:06 pm [Reply]

    @LogopolisMike (#96): Well, it’s like I always say: they always die in threes, except when they don’t, which is all the time. It’s all apophenia. You can check ‘kipedia, which happens to be the only place I read word one about Benoit Mandelbrot’s death last week.

  135. Poteet
    October 22nd, 2010 at 3:07 pm [Reply]

    @Carl Barks Fan (#Y248): My goodness, thank you! I’m honored.

    And no, I didn’t think of an Oprah booking. You get credit for that, and I bet it would make Les’s book sell like gangbusters. And then he could move waaaay out of Batiuktown to some upscale subdivision, which would presumably please those who like him as well as those who loathe him.

  136. Écureuil Écumant
    October 22nd, 2010 at 3:08 pm [Reply]

    @128 Steve the Pocket said:

    Is Elrod planning on retiring soon? Talk about going out with a bang. Or rather, a ” “, seeing as there are mysteriously no sound effects in this strip.

    It’s not that there aren’t any effects, it’s just that Mark winged that haymaker so swiftly that the sound simply hasn’t had time to reach us yet. OK … synchronize your seismographs … now.

  137. Howard
    October 22nd, 2010 at 3:11 pm [Reply]

    Oh… god… Batiuk, Batiuk. We’ve been down this road before. You tempted us with images of dead Funky. You tempted us with images of dead Crankster. I, for one, refused to be excited unless I see his cold dead corpse with a stake through the heart…..

  138. Howard
    October 22nd, 2010 at 3:14 pm [Reply]

    Okay, by comparing all the Dick Tracy strips from the last week, I think I have an idea what’s happening.

    3D… was extorting billions… from … business… yes, and now, he’s… uh… they’re arresting him for…


    Now I have a headache.

  139. Poteet
    October 22nd, 2010 at 3:14 pm [Reply]

    MT — Where is Rustina’s mother during all this? Sitting hollow-eyed in some dark corner with a half-empty bottle, trying to figure out how much she’ll need to save in order to leave “Stepfather” and rent an old trailer just outside LoFo?

  140. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    October 22nd, 2010 at 3:14 pm [Reply]

    @queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#111): Thank you very much; I always like a nice end-of-the-week corgi!

  141. Poteet
    October 22nd, 2010 at 3:17 pm [Reply]

    @Howard (#138): You’re braver than I am.

  142. Howard
    October 22nd, 2010 at 3:21 pm [Reply]

    Mary Worth makes me happy. It’s the little passive-aggressive way Mary deals with this. “Oh, no, another character in this universe who has strong opinions and feels free to share them–and she won’t agree with me! I’ll just pop out a quick comment pointing this out… then she’ll realize how VERY WRONG that is!”

  143. bats :[
    October 22nd, 2010 at 3:23 pm [Reply]

    I gotta say, I love the big formats of the super-secret King Features reader — the expressions are bigger! bolder! bloated!
    I’m just viewing MW as a kicky, free-wheeling girls’ day out!

  144. Poteet
    October 22nd, 2010 at 3:25 pm [Reply]

    @reina (#129): No no no, you’re making me feel better. I was the one who noticed a language error in a LUANN (I think it was LUANN) strip that was later corrected. I tell you it’s GOOD that we have these eyes for detail. Thousands of years ago, people like you and me were the ones who noticed the blade of grass gently swaying because it was stirred by the breath of the crouching sabertooth tiger, and because we noticed, we survived. Our special eyes for detail survived through hundreds of generations so that one day, we could notice…

    Yeah, maybe shooting us would be a good idea.

  145. littlestevie
    October 22nd, 2010 at 3:25 pm [Reply]

    @Dood (#121): Well, I don’t think Mark has ever been intimate with the lovely Cherry. But then I don’t think that is something he wants to do.

  146. Howard
    October 22nd, 2010 at 3:27 pm [Reply]

    The Phantom shifted into awesome a while back, without me noticing it. I think Spider-man could similarly improve, if it would pay attention to the change in format. We all know that the reason people come to the strip is for a glimpse of the female lead dressed provocatively, and to see the male lead screw up again. Imagine if Mary-Jane started being a hero?

    She could start by kicking Peter off the couch.

  147. Harold
    October 22nd, 2010 at 3:28 pm [Reply]

    Trespassing AND assault? Citizen Trail is about to find out that some of the wildest wildlife lives behind bars. Added to his breaking & entering from a few months back, he’s getting quite the rap sheet.

  148. Howard
    October 22nd, 2010 at 3:31 pm [Reply]

    @Poteet (#141): Braver? Stupider!

  149. Howard
    October 22nd, 2010 at 3:35 pm [Reply]

    So, I just read today’s Spider-man… all I could think was “yes, THEY call him…Mole-Man! I don’t, of course. I call him Bob. I think his mom calls him sonny… but his real name was definitely Stanley. Although I think Wolverine called him Bub….”

  150. Poteet
    October 22nd, 2010 at 3:35 pm [Reply]

    @bats :[ (#143): Ooh, really good one!

  151. Poteet
    October 22nd, 2010 at 3:38 pm [Reply]

    S-M — As I recall, moles are almost blind, which would help explain why this guy thinks MJ can act.

  152. Vince M
    October 22nd, 2010 at 3:39 pm [Reply]

    @bats :[ (#130): Seeing that link, yes, I could see Freddie Highmore as Rusty – but they’d need to do some CG work to give him frightfully large eyes. Think the creepy Stepford people in that old Soundgarden videp.

  153. Vince M
    October 22nd, 2010 at 3:40 pm [Reply]

    Or ‘video’ even.

  154. Peanut Gallery
    October 22nd, 2010 at 3:47 pm [Reply]

    @BeeF (#62): I think it just looks resigned to its fate today.

  155. Peanut Gallery
    October 22nd, 2010 at 3:48 pm [Reply]

    @Mr. Goboto (#80): I’d prefer Rover from The Prisoner.

  156. Bootsy
    October 22nd, 2010 at 3:55 pm [Reply]

    @This Guy (#134):

    My local dead tree paper carried a small (though not page one) article about the death of Benoit Mandelbrot. I admit I was surprised and pleased, not over his death, but to see the ol’ Times Picayune carry that.

  157. Lloyd S.
    October 22nd, 2010 at 3:57 pm [Reply]

    Ahhh….the Right Fist O’Justice. Though if there were really any justice in the World, the girl and the fawn would be the ones getting the Fist, for the sheer amount of nausea they induce. Even now, there are comics pages all over America, all smushed up and sitting in trash cans, reeking of vomit.

  158. Baka Gaijin
    October 22nd, 2010 at 4:10 pm [Reply]

    @Lloyd S. (#157): “…there are comics pages all over America, all smushed up and sitting in trash cans, reeking of vomit.” iPads and iPhones, too.

  159. Fashion Police
    October 22nd, 2010 at 4:24 pm [Reply]

    We hold the view the Mr. Johnson’s electric-blue leisure suit more than qualifies him to have his sideburns punched off. One presumes Mr. Johnson was unable to decide whether to emulate the Landed Aristocracy or the Common Man so he chose the worst elements of each. One does wonder, though if fawn-punting and oaf-punching will be featured in Mr. Trail’s article in Woods and Wildlife magazine.

  160. Bootsy
    October 22nd, 2010 at 4:32 pm [Reply]

    MT: But where did Senator Shooty go?!

  161. Rocky Stoneaxe
    October 22nd, 2010 at 4:35 pm [Reply]

    Herb & Jamaal — Talk about sending a mixed message!

    Arlo & Janis — “I see London, I see Bimini, I see someone’s Hi-Cut Bikinis!”

    Pardon My Planet — Is this a veiled reference to Shel Silverstein’s Where the Sidewalk Ends?

  162. Walker of Dog
    October 22nd, 2010 at 4:38 pm [Reply]

    @Mel aka Mel (#86):

    Mark: Ben Affleck
    Frank: John Lithgow
    Senator: Gene Hackman
    She-Rusty: One of those Olsen twins
    He-Rusty: The other one of those Olsen twins
    Andy: Steve Carrell

    @Howard (#137): To be absolutely sure, wouldn’t you also need a tiny fireproof camera installed in the coffin prior to the cremation? Funky Winkerbeanis a horror comic, right?

  163. Hogenmogen
    October 22nd, 2010 at 4:51 pm [Reply]

    Spidey: It’s MOLE-MAN!
    MJ: Yeah, he had a few moles, but it’s not really polite to point that out.

    I know that in order to keep up a plot in Spiderman, things involving evildoers have to present themselves. What gets me is how they always seem to drop into his lap. If he didn’t get bitten by that radioactive spider, he’d have been killed like 25 times by now.

    If I were a superhero, I’d read the newspaper to find out that Mole Man drilled into a bank and kidnapped a woman. “Man, with my superpower, I really could have stopped him. If I’d only been there… Oh well. Is there any coffee left?”

  164. Hogenmogen
    October 22nd, 2010 at 5:02 pm [Reply]

    I’m looking at Mark Trail, trying to envision in my mind how a wooden character like Trail can come up behind a guy and yet hit him in the face. So I’ll change my mental picture to Mark sneaking up from the rear and cold-cocking Mr. Deerkicker right in front of his step-daughter. I am waiting for little miss deerlover to turn on Trail with rightful anger. “Don’t hurt my Daddy!”

    And since the moral that Jack Elrod is trying to convey is that violence begets violence, she begins kicking Mark’s shin.

    Unless I’m reading it wrong and the moral is “Victory goes to those who punch harder.” I can never get these things right.

  165. Rocky Stoneaxe
    October 22nd, 2010 at 5:05 pm [Reply]

    Shoe — Since he belongs to a bird, I suppose that makes him a bird dog!

    Brenda Starr — I predict that “Councilman Graftovich” will be June Brigman and Mary Schmich’s version of disgraced ex-governor Rod Blagojevich!

  166. Insufferable Prick
    October 22nd, 2010 at 5:17 pm [Reply]

    If the fawn gets kicked eleven more times, it’s officially in with MS-13.

  167. Soccerhead
    October 22nd, 2010 at 5:29 pm [Reply]

    A3G: Huh? What, is Ohio famous for having the best pecan pie?
    We all know how well Ohio pizza goes over in New York.
    FW: Is this whole week a potshot Batiuk is taking at book-publicizing business?
    Sorta like when he seemed to be commenting on the medical industry with the hospital arc.
    Archie: That could have looked like a Funky gag back in the old-school days.
    MT: Awesome punchin’ action. I’m pleased as punch!
    GT: back to Swifti-Mart! I just wish I could read the rest of that sign. S-mart sho… shi…

  168. Mr. Goboto
    October 22nd, 2010 at 5:32 pm [Reply]

    @Rocky Stoneaxe (#165): And who’s Graftovich’s chief advisor, Influenz O’Peddler?

  169. Jason1981
    October 22nd, 2010 at 5:34 pm [Reply]

    @Howard (#149):

    “But then, Logan calls EVERYONE ‘bub’. He must be sh*t at remembering names..”

  170. cj
    October 22nd, 2010 at 5:35 pm [Reply]

    I think he meant he may not get another chance to deck a political candidate for such a high office.

  171. Uncle Lumpy
    October 22nd, 2010 at 5:52 pm [Reply]

    @cj (#170):

    … he may not get another chance to deck a political candidate for such a high office

    Oh sure he will. Probably one in cahoots with an evil developer and a lowlife poacher, ’cause hey, aside from noble woodsy folk, who else is there? Mark never disappoints.

  172. mollificent
    October 22nd, 2010 at 6:01 pm [Reply]

    I loved today’s “Frazz” (and not just because I had a hair appointment. ;))

    A3G: I like this Iris chick. She orders Margo around with great aplomb. (Lu Ann is going to pay for giggling, though. “Bathroom” is going to take on a whole new meaning.)

    Garfield: Hey! I’ve heard some damned soulful banjo playing in my time. (Then again, this is Jon we’re talking about.)

    MT: !!!!

    MW: I’m sure Adrian is supposed to be nervously chewing on a fingernail, as so many of us do when under stress. But she really looks severely dopey, or else bulimic. I’m not sure which is worse.

    9CL: The game is up, Edda. I’ve been reading this strip long enough to know you’re not ticklish at all…but feigning it is the only way you can get your hunky gay roommate to put his hands all over you. Fess up.

    Something Positive: Barely over five feet? Cry me a river, honey…you’ve got a good four inches on me. (FYI, that’s another source of the Pixie Fists of Fury…as Shakespeare would say, “and though she be but little, she is fierce!”)

    @commodorejohn (#38): Mmmmmmmmm…Ranger Goooooooord….oh, and given his loner status and relationship with various tree trunks…how much less human attachment could he have?

  173. seismic-2
    October 22nd, 2010 at 6:02 pm [Reply]

    DtM: Maybe it’s just the implied reference to 18 holes, but somehow from the look in Mr. Wilson’s eyes in panel 2 I get the feeling that he’s trying to figure just how big the one he’s digging now will have to be, so that it can serve as Dennis’s grave.

    MT: “I may not get another chance to do this!” Oh, so? Just what part of the phrase “clip art” don’t you understand, Mark? (Yeah, I know… the “art” part.)

    Pluggers: Well, no wonder the TV doesn’t work right. What’s that skinny-looking newfangled thing sitting on top of it? Doesn’t the Plugger have enough coat hangers and tin foil to put up a real antenna?

  174. commodorejohn
    October 22nd, 2010 at 6:26 pm [Reply]

    @mollificent (#172): Well, yeah, but Gord wants human attachment, whereas Mark is an impassive force of nature, except where pet animals and punching are concerned.

  175. KT
    October 22nd, 2010 at 6:35 pm [Reply]

  176. Baka Gaijin
    October 22nd, 2010 at 6:50 pm [Reply]

    @KT (#175): Good one!

  177. True Fable
    October 22nd, 2010 at 6:56 pm [Reply]

    Mark Trail: the gift that keeps on punching.

  178. Shrug
    October 22nd, 2010 at 7:05 pm [Reply]

    @Howard (#149):

    ?So, I just read today’s Spider-man… all I could think was “yes, THEY call him…Mole-Man! I don’t, of course. I call him Bob. I think his mom calls him sonny… but his real name was definitely Stanley. Although I think Wolverine called him Bub….” ”


    ..and he called himself Lil, but everyone knew him as Nancy…”

  179. KT
    October 22nd, 2010 at 7:12 pm [Reply]

  180. This Guy
    October 22nd, 2010 at 7:14 pm [Reply]

    Garfield: Come on, cat, you can’t tie down a Banjo Man!

    @mollificent (#172): RE 9CL: Oh, not at all. Edda is such a supermassive Black Hole Sue that all minds are bent with seething lust for her, regardless of actual orientation [*]. All she needs to do to get her gay roommate to want to fuck her brains out is wait.

  181. bats :[
    October 22nd, 2010 at 7:23 pm [Reply]

    @KT (#175): heh.

  182. Alison
    October 22nd, 2010 at 7:39 pm [Reply]

    Alas, I’ve been totally manipulated by Jack Elrod. After seeing that guy kick a poor little deer, I sooo want Mark Trail to beat the shit out of him. I know this exactly what the scheming Elrod wants us to want, but I can’t help myself. *Manipulated* Bad man who kicks baby deers! You deserve to get punched out! GO, MARK TRAIL, GO! *Manipulated*

  183. Buck Ripsnort
    October 22nd, 2010 at 7:44 pm [Reply]

    9CL: Will somebody PLEASE take away McE’s zipatone?

  184. Écureuil Écumant
    October 22nd, 2010 at 7:46 pm [Reply]

    And while you’re at it, strangle him with his farfalle!

  185. wossname
    October 22nd, 2010 at 8:17 pm [Reply]

    I’m horrified to admit that today I lived A3G a little bit.

    I’ve worn the same hairstyle for years (looking kinda like Tommie’s new hair). In the last six months or so, I’ve tried growing it out (kinda like Aunt Iris’s hair). Today, I told my beloved hairstylist to cut it off and make it like it was. He did, and I was all “Oh that’s so much better!” and he was all “You look like yourself again.”

    And then I realized, oh shit – this is Lu Ann’s story!

  186. KarMann
    October 22nd, 2010 at 8:31 pm [Reply]

    @KT (#175): It wasn’t just you. I did a simpler one-panel last night (what I called “the low-hanging fruit”), and upped the ante after I woke up.
    (All done before I saw yours at all, because yeah, it’s kind of obvious, really, isn’t it?)

  187. Miss Othmar
    October 22nd, 2010 at 8:41 pm [Reply]

    @Shrug (#178): Well, you know that tomorrow is Mole Day….

  188. Jamus The Bartender
    October 22nd, 2010 at 8:45 pm [Reply]

    9CL: Okay, i’m ashamed to admit this, getting a little turned on here….IS THERE NO EDITORIAL OVERSIGHT?? Kids read this, i’m pretty sure. Next thing there will be tickle fights in the streets with people dressed as Superman and Black Canary.

  189. Jamus The Bartender
    October 22nd, 2010 at 8:46 pm [Reply]

    Archie. And…we can see up Veronica’s cheerleading skirt. I feel better now.

  190. Jamus The Bartender
    October 22nd, 2010 at 8:49 pm [Reply]

    reFOOB: “…and the fact that I can’t see a thing without my glasses. I can think of other people when we make love.”

  191. Jamus The Bartender
    October 22nd, 2010 at 8:51 pm [Reply]

    Gasoline Alley” I hope he’s not asphyxiated…or worse, auto-erotically asphyxiated. Facebook would have a field day.”

  192. Jamus The Bartender
    October 22nd, 2010 at 8:53 pm [Reply]

    Luann: Way more background than we’re used to seeing here. I bet Dirk is behind one of those bushes with a baseball bat.

  193. Jamus The Bartender
    October 22nd, 2010 at 8:54 pm [Reply]

    Spider-Man: ” ….I must be goiiiiiiiiiiiing…..”

  194. Jamus The Bartender
    October 22nd, 2010 at 9:00 pm [Reply]

    Mary Worth: Okay, Mary. For once, let me give YOU some advice. I had some buddies who did time, and they all agree, first day in, you gotta beat up the biggest guy so the other inmates will respeck you, and not have sex with you. Jill don’t respeck you. I think you know what you gotta do.

  195. Jamus The Bartender
    October 22nd, 2010 at 9:11 pm [Reply]

    Funky Winkerbean: “Hi, Raunchy Ron, this is Jamus, and I have a bad hookup story for you, it involves this ballerina who went to Julliard, she has no chin, but she does have a sweet hinder and a hot mom, so I figured what the hell, and it was okay until she asked me to ‘talk dirtily ‘ to her. Really. ‘Talk dirtily’. I mean, what the hell is that? She kicked me out of the hotel room we got by the interstate, so so much for that… Anyway, am I the tenth caller and do I get the monster truck show tickets?”

  196. Jamus The Bartender
    October 22nd, 2010 at 9:13 pm [Reply]

    Family Circus: ….no…too easy.

  197. Jamus The Bartender
    October 22nd, 2010 at 9:19 pm [Reply]

    @The Modesto Kid (#17): Wow. Yeah. And may flights of angels sing thee to thy eternal rest. You will be missed, sir.

  198. Jamus The Bartender
    October 22nd, 2010 at 9:27 pm [Reply]

    @The Modesto Kid (#31): Wow, lots of choices….here, let me throw my hat in the ring…Sam Elliot.

  199. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    October 22nd, 2010 at 9:37 pm [Reply]

    @Jamus The Bartender (#198): naw, far too expressive. [*]

  200. Jamus The Bartender
    October 22nd, 2010 at 9:41 pm [Reply]

    @queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#199): Yeah, you’re right. Still, he’d make the movie pretty cool. He even made Ang Lee’s The Hulk really cool.

  201. KarMann
    October 22nd, 2010 at 9:44 pm [Reply]

  202. zerowolf
    October 22nd, 2010 at 9:48 pm [Reply]

    MW: Careful Jill, any second now Mary’s going to release a lecture full of platitudes on your ass.

  203. zerowolf
    October 22nd, 2010 at 9:49 pm [Reply]

    Crankshaft is the reason my favorite law is Gravity.

  204. zerowolf
    October 22nd, 2010 at 9:50 pm [Reply]

    BGSS: Since all she could find was ugly shoes, I take it Pine Creek is near Judge Parker’s neck of the woods.

  205. Scott Bot
    October 22nd, 2010 at 9:51 pm [Reply]

    Ok, I want all future Mark Trail strips to be like yesterdays strip, with the same image of Frank kicking Lucky’s butt, only with different dialog each time. It could be the new millenium’s ‘Angriest Dog in the World.’

    And I want to put my vote in for Joe Montengna for Frank.

  206. zerowolf
    October 22nd, 2010 at 9:52 pm [Reply]

    FC: You know Mommy, your almost as tender and tasty as our last babysitter.

  207. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    October 22nd, 2010 at 10:00 pm [Reply]

    Jamus et al: My thoughts, would be depending on just how batshit insane the movie was aiming for. If played straight, Patrick Warburton comes to mind, or perhaps Will Farrell (see his Ranger character in “Jay & Silent Bob Strike Back.”)

    for a more meta perspective, perhaps Tommy Lee Jones? (Post Office Guy from MIBII.)

  208. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    October 22nd, 2010 at 10:01 pm [Reply]

    @zerowolf (#206): that’s a tender subject. [*]

  209. zerowolf
    October 22nd, 2010 at 10:04 pm [Reply]

    A3G: Aunt Iris almost has it down, It’s “Run get us some forks, mule.”

  210. ElkMeadow
    October 22nd, 2010 at 10:13 pm [Reply]

    We still haven’t seen where Aunt Iris’s niece disappeared to. Maybe Aunt Iris is in the wrong apartment?

  211. ElkMeadow
    October 22nd, 2010 at 10:17 pm [Reply]

    @James (#46):
    I’m pretty sure deer aren’t the kind of animal that waits around after the first kick to see if you’re gonna do it again

    I’m not so sure. We have some pretty dumb deer in our neck of the woods. One of our neighbors found a number of them on her front porch, eating her pansies and tried to shoo them away. They just stood there, staring at her like, “Whassamadder weirdo?” as they continued to munch.

  212. Rocky Stoneaxe
    October 22nd, 2010 at 10:34 pm [Reply]

    @ElkMeadow (#210):

    You know who else had an Aunt Iris? AMADEO AVOGADRO!

  213. Rusty's Handler
    October 22nd, 2010 at 10:36 pm [Reply]

    Ladies and gentlemen. Sunday’s Mark Trail for you NOW!

  214. somebody
    October 22nd, 2010 at 10:46 pm [Reply]

    I’m mostly concerned for EvilPolitician’s medical well-being. His obvious malnourishment and anemia suggest that it is his bone that will break, rather than Lucky’s!

  215. Rocky Stoneaxe
    October 22nd, 2010 at 10:47 pm [Reply]

    @Rusty’s Handler (#213):

    It’s what Howard Chaykin used to refer to as an “interspecies romance”! I hope the duck is at least FEMALE!

  216. Rusty's Handler
    October 22nd, 2010 at 11:05 pm [Reply]

  217. mollificent
    October 22nd, 2010 at 11:20 pm [Reply]

  218. Rocky Stoneaxe
    October 22nd, 2010 at 11:22 pm [Reply]

    @Rusty’s Handler (#216): “Saucy Duck” if he/she lead him on!

  219. Rocky Stoneaxe
    October 22nd, 2010 at 11:27 pm [Reply]

    @Rocky Stoneaxe (#218): “…led him on!”

  220. Rocky Stoneaxe
    October 22nd, 2010 at 11:33 pm [Reply]

    @Shrug (#178):

    *Not to be confused with “the Mole” from the Superman/Batman story in World’s Finest #80 (January-February 1956) or the 1951 theatrical film, Superman and the Mole Men!

  221. KarMann
    October 22nd, 2010 at 11:39 pm [Reply]

    @queek, SoC, KC (#208): That’s a rather tasteless joke!

  222. Comcis Fan
    October 23rd, 2010 at 12:29 am [Reply]

    S4th: Uh oh. Ted no longer craves Sally’s validation of his silliness because he has found it with Aria. Not good.

    MW: Is it weird that this strip reminds me of “The Boys from Brazil?” It’s just that I find it creepy, unlikely and unnatural that every person in Santa Royale has blue eyes. Is this all taking place in some teutonic enclave in an obscure S. American republic?

  223. ElkMeadow
    October 23rd, 2010 at 12:30 am [Reply]

    Watch for Stone Soup to do a shout-out to the University of Oregon Ducks. Not on Saturday, but sometime soon. Just guessing.

  224. Comcis Fan
    October 23rd, 2010 at 12:34 am [Reply]

    MW: I’m thinking that Mary, Jill and Adrian will not be going to Chi Chi’s for margarita’s now and will not be giggling together as they stuff bills into a Chippendale’s dancer’s g-string at Adrian’s bachelorette party.

  225. ElkMeadow
    October 23rd, 2010 at 12:34 am [Reply]

    The whole Mary Worth arc is creepy. “Camera in my house” creepy. I’ve worked hard to distance myself from people like Jill, and I just found another “friend” is really another Jill. (I wish that the gaping maws of hell open up and suck Jill in, but the closest we’ll ever get to that is a man with the D.T.s saying, “Drink is the devil!”) I’m sure Mary will teach her a lesson, but I’d sooner expect Jill to date Charlie than to learn the lesson.

  226. bats :[
    October 23rd, 2010 at 12:35 am [Reply]

    Just because Rex likes to call the shots

  227. Comcis Fan
    October 23rd, 2010 at 12:37 am [Reply]

    Blondie: Dagwood discovers sandwich porn. Perhaps he can charge Wilbur Weston to view the fridge cam.

  228. Comcis Fan
    October 23rd, 2010 at 12:39 am [Reply]

    Re #224, Margaritas, not margarita’s! I committed my own punctuation pet peeve.

  229. Bub
    October 23rd, 2010 at 12:43 am [Reply]

    @Jason1981 (#169): Wolverine always remembers my name!

  230. gnemec
    October 23rd, 2010 at 1:07 am [Reply]

    The boiled down essence of Mark Trail: Bad guy threatens wildlife. Mark punches bad guy. Awesome.

  231. Poteet
    October 23rd, 2010 at 1:14 am [Reply]

    RMMD — No prostate on EARTH is that interesting.

  232. CanuckDownSouth
    October 23rd, 2010 at 1:16 am [Reply]

    MT: I can’t decide what’s more delightfully ridiculous: saying ‘now please get off my property’, like you’re in charge, to the guy who just punched you while still nursing your jaw, or responding to ‘stay off my property and away from my family’ by non-provocatively escorting his daughter further into his property.

  233. Paddy
    October 23rd, 2010 at 1:36 am [Reply]

    Why is Frank dressed like an Eastern European arms dealer?

  234. Carlo
    October 23rd, 2010 at 1:37 am [Reply]

    Cleats (Saturday): The women’s soccer league folded? The WPS is alive and well, the last time I checked. Given the lead time of comics, this would have been written in the midst of the WPS playoffs.

    Also, why was the Halloween story line run a week and a half before Halloween? I’m on the verge of convening a Warren Commission for Cleats.

  235. FOOBed again
    October 23rd, 2010 at 2:30 am [Reply]

    @Carlo (#234): When did Abby from Cleats get her hair cut? She used to have that long ponytail almost down to her feet.

  236. This Guy
    October 23rd, 2010 at 2:45 am [Reply]

    Friday’s Get Fuzzy brings up a question about history: did people conducting witch hunts, “trials”, and executions ever stop to wonder why none of these terrible sorcerers/-esses used their magical powers to save themselves and slay the feeble mundanes who dared lay hands on them? For that matter, do people like Jack Chick today stop to wonder why, if playing D&D can give you kewl magic powerz, there aren’t news stories about fireballs exploding in the hallways of our high schools and bullies being mauled by dire badgers?

  237. Mr. O'Malley
    October 23rd, 2010 at 4:26 am [Reply]

    @This Guy (#236): In historical times, because they believed they had the power of God behind them. Assuming that they really believed in what they were doing, as opposing to citing it as a reason for something they were doing for other reasons. Also, conducting a rational analysis of religious issues was a suspicious activity in its own right.

    The witch-finders were paid so much per witch, so the more witches they found, the more they got paid.

    In modern times, again the question is if the people putting out the literature believe it themselves, or if they have other motivations? But in either case, if you asked them they would probably say the liberal media is covering it up.

    In the early 1980s a significant proportion of the American public was convinced there was a huge underground network of Satanic child abusers, kidnapped girls forced to bear children to be sacrificed in Satanic rituals, etc. The only “evidence” was the pseudo-science of “recovered memories”. Police departments everywhere stated no evidence of such activities had ever been seen. Yet people were convicted and sent to jail. Prosecutors engaged in flagrant manipulation of children to get testimony. Were they sincerely deluded or just unethical careerists?

    There is some evidence that progress has been made since the 17th century, since the hysteria lasted a shorter time and the number of innocent victims was smaller. But I don’t think it’s time to pat ourselves on the back just yet.

  238. Baka Gaijin
    October 23rd, 2010 at 4:33 am [Reply]

    Saturday’s Strips

    Blondie: Dagwood, get help or get a walk-in fridge and a cot.

    Pluggers: See how Andy’s guiltily peering through the door? His mind is feverishly trying to concoct a good story to explain the missing $56 that Roo-lady would find in Greta Goose’s g-string down at the Pluggerville Pink Pony Human.

    Spiderman: Uh oh, Aunt May is totally wet for Moleman. It’s the whole “Florence Nightingale Syndrome” that made “Back to the Future” such an entertaining movie. Any bets on how they suck all the fun out of this storyline?

    Rose is Rose: I’m not one for product placement, but panel 4 should have been an ad for a product of the Massengil Corporation.

    Mary Worth: I gotta agree with Miss Aggressive-aggressive. Some people just can’t get it through their thick skulls that they’re making bad decisions unless you take drastic action. This is the supposedly well-educated woman who fell for the “Queenie” scam.

    Like the time a friend in his 40′s told me he wanted to bone his adopted Asian daughter. I just about coughed up a lung laughing at him but it wasn’t enough. Slapping him in the face with a pair of Bad Idea Jeans didn’t work. Calling Newsday’s photographers still wasn’t enough.

    Luann: What? WHAT? Keep the key? Monday’s strip surely will be Toni saying Brad can use the key to water her plants while she visits her family next week.

    Archie: “Cousin” Leroy is more menacing in the last panel than the so-called Menace has been in almost half a a century. I know that’s a “Like, duh!” but it had to be said.

  239. Baka Gaijin
    October 23rd, 2010 at 4:41 am [Reply]

    On second thought, this is my version of today’s Rose is Rose.

  240. Mr. O'Malley
    October 23rd, 2010 at 5:16 am [Reply]

  241. Zaratustra
    October 23rd, 2010 at 6:20 am [Reply]

    Mark, that’s the worst kiai ever.

  242. Curm
    October 23rd, 2010 at 6:45 am [Reply]

    Re: Mark Trail casting

    The part of Rusty could be played by the front portion of a ’53 Buick Roadmaster.

  243. Les of the Jungle Patrol
    October 23rd, 2010 at 6:59 am [Reply]

    I take back all my complaints about the complete unbelievability of the previous Mary Worth story line. The current one has everybody acting in a perfectly believable manner and it’s boring as hell. Bring back people who drink bright red wine in anguish after a single date!

    I’m a 34 year old heterosexual male and I have opinions about Mary Worth. My life has taken a strange turn someplace.

  244. Rocky Stoneaxe
    October 23rd, 2010 at 7:00 am [Reply]

    Bizarro — Zeeba neighba!

    Crankshaft — Fall is in the air!

    F Minus — Three words of advice: BURN THE CHAIR!

    Curtis — I like how Greg is leering at Diane’s ass as she
    walks away in the third panel!

  245. Roman Fingers
    October 23rd, 2010 at 7:30 am [Reply]

    @Rusty’s Handler (#213): OK, so are you going to pay for the lobotomy that I now require? ‘Cause I don’t think I should pay for it.

    Snark, fortunately written before I saw that damned video…

    MW: “My reaction was only natural”? In the words of some of my relatives, “Only if you ain’t got no fetchin’ up!” For those who don’t speak “Arkansas”, it implies that one has had no training in the social graces.

    RMMD: I’m just waiting for the moment when the kid at the 7-11 asks me if I’ve heard about Stu’s prostate. He may be the only person on the planet who’s not aware of the situation.

    A3G: I looked it up, and apparently you can grow pecans as far north as Ohio. Damn you, Apartment 3-G–Making me learn actual knowledge!

    Zits: Yes, Walt, teenagers like to sleep in. Howzabout we call your mother, and ask if you slept in when you were that age.

    Cranky: Damn–what are those gutters made out of…titanium?

    FC: And that’s exactly how Lucrezia Borgia got her start.

    Lockhorns: You know what would be cool? A comic strip about golf. Because that’s a market that is totally under-served.

    MT: I’m guessing the only way this would go away is with a large cash payoff to one Mark Trail. Does anybody know where Frank can get his hands on a bunch of high-denomination bills?

    9CL: Oh–dead man walkin’

    Luann: As the British would say: ‘ello, ‘ello, ‘ello.

    GT: Is it just me, or does Cody look an awful lot like Gil? If this were 9CL, we’d know why.

    DT: Nice that they could get Charles Bronson in to play Dick today.

    Plug: Apropos of nothing, but Gene L. Jones’ hometown of Indiana, Pennsylvania was the birthplace of Jimmy Stewart. Now, aren’t you glad I have this freakish ability to pull up useless trivia at will? Like that pecan thing–I’ll remember that 20 years from now.

  246. dale
    October 23rd, 2010 at 7:44 am [Reply]

    The Mark Trail story line is really pissing me off. Are the readers actually supposed to side with Mark in his illegal activities?

    Frank could still solve the problem -

    “I have an eight foot fence, topped with barbed wire. This guy climbed it and hit me for no reason. Despite my repeated requests, he wouldn’t leave my property. Then, while I was still on the ground, he started dragging my little daughter into the woods. I shot him.”

  247. Rocky Stoneaxe
    October 23rd, 2010 at 7:45 am [Reply]

    Funky Winkerbean — Den of iniquity!

    Today’s Dogg — The new Miracle Network!

    Pajama Diaries — Jill’s butt gets recorded for posterity!

  248. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    October 23rd, 2010 at 8:05 am [Reply]

    MC: come on, hold it together. . . .

    PBS: bonobos are not monkeys. Sex-positive chimps, basically.

    RMMD: is that Graham Nolan, the artist of the strip, in a cameo?

    SF: come on, Ted and Sally, hold it together. . . .

    Frazz: heeee! nice face-take.

    OtH: nice wrap up! *applaz*

    IP: heh.

    Lio: further information on anti-bullying measures in schools can be found on the internet.

  249. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    October 23rd, 2010 at 8:28 am [Reply]

    Matrix kittehs.

    puppeh with pun.

    Real life PBS.

    O hai!

    Hammy plots his next attempt at the bird feeder.

  250. Andie
    October 23rd, 2010 at 8:32 am [Reply]

    @Hank (#91):

    That was the feel I was going for by picking warburton

  251. gleeb
    October 23rd, 2010 at 8:37 am [Reply]

    Brenda :Brenda Starr, vegetable ignorer! Seriously, who the hell voted for a guy named Graftovich?

    Frog Applause :Put that down, or Mike Patterson will get more upset than if his children were at risk!

    ‘shaft :Die, Ed, die!

    ‘bean :Suck it up, Creepy Les. You wrote a crappy book then; you’ve written a crappy book again. You’re not Gore Vidal, so stop being so condescending. (That goes for Gore Vidal, too, even though he is Gore Vidal).

    Non Sequitur :Is anybody reading this? If so, when will it be over?

  252. CanuckDownSouth
    October 23rd, 2010 at 8:53 am [Reply]

    Cranky – Gotta tell you, if I ever wind up dangling from a gutter and manage to hang on one-handed while pulling out a cell phone … I’m sure as heck calling 911

    Today’s evidence for a passive-aggressive dispute between the writer and artist of A3G (previously: the unneeded extensions, and all the ‘chic’ makeover dresses) is that pie’s top crust … pecan pie doesn’t work that way!

  253. Vince M
    October 23rd, 2010 at 9:13 am [Reply]

    Film project: Overdub shouted dialog into old “Twin Peaks” episodes, splice in some nature documentary footage – instant Mark Trail movie! (it’s been a while – Did Kyle McLachlan ever wear flannel or khaki on the show?)

  254. Buck Ripsnort
    October 23rd, 2010 at 9:53 am [Reply]

    NS: No more ekert! For now.

    ZtP: No more Dingburg! For now.

    Shaft: No more — oh wait, he’s not dead yet.

    MT: No more — What, he’s GETTING UP? After a Mark Trail punch? And saying crap like “PLEASE leave my property?” What is this crap?

  255. John C Fremont
    October 23rd, 2010 at 9:55 am [Reply]

    GT – Cody was a child back when smoking was still good for you. And dads were filthy hippies.

  256. John C Fremont
    October 23rd, 2010 at 9:58 am [Reply]

    DT – Roger Ebert gives this storyline a thumbs down. What do you think, second-panel Dick?

  257. TheDiva
    October 23rd, 2010 at 10:00 am [Reply]

    C’shaft: “…How much longer do you think it will take?”

    DT: Dick gives his opinion of the latest plot development.

    FW: Anyone dumb enough do to a signing for an adult nonfiction book with a Cub Scout troop deserves all the failure he gets.

    MC: 134? There go the savings–those puppies don’t come cheap.

    MW: “Doesn’t she know meddling should be done subtly, with platitudes and false modesty?”

  258. Little Guy
    October 23rd, 2010 at 10:17 am [Reply]

    MT: If it hasn’t been stated, Mark’s mystical Grand Master Punc-Fu capabilities renders an opponent incapable of a counterattack, no matter how futile. I would say that if Mark was at Thermopylae with the Spartans against the Persians and Punch-Fu’d Xerxes, there would have been less bloodshed.

    In the real world, the Senator’s “Make it go away” would have been followed with Mark waking up next to the head of the kicked deer. Mark, at first thougt, would surmise that Cherry wanted to sleep in and roll back over.

    Curtis: Want to be empowered, women? Be a BITCH in BED! Time for Curtis to take some Tyler Perry lessons.

    Big Nate: Don’t think you’re getting away with your week of your annual “Nate gets a crappy school picture taken” retread, Pierce. Hack is hack.

  259. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    October 23rd, 2010 at 10:21 am [Reply]

    @Dood (#29): ask, and ye shall receive.

  260. Jane
    October 23rd, 2010 at 10:29 am [Reply]

    I don’t think I’ve straight-up laughed out loud at a newspaper comic in ages…but Mark Trail delivered. Wow.

  261. Illustrator Steve VS Mark Trail
    October 23rd, 2010 at 10:39 am [Reply]

    Plain and simple… Mark Trail should be arrested for trespassing! And, as far as Rusty, I agree with that other guy, Rusty DOES in fact look like the front of a ’53 Buick Roadmaster! They should put Rusty in a car museum, send Cherry into town to work at some greasy-spoon diner, retire Mark Trail to comic caracter heaven and plow Lost Forest under to construct Governer Frank’s dream, the new 35 screen I-Max multi-plex movie cinema, adult entertainment strip club and gambling casino-harness track complex! (Now THERE’s a Lost Forest worth tromping through, you betcha!)

  262. Great Rumbler
    October 23rd, 2010 at 10:52 am [Reply]

    So, because Mark is a “Defender of Animal Justice” and because the would-be governor kicked an animal, that gives Mark the right to trespass on private property and to then viciously assault the owner of said property?

  263. Hogenmogen
    October 23rd, 2010 at 10:56 am [Reply]

    Crank: Dang this new fangled technology! What the hell is wrong with them old plugger phones with all them wires?? Oh, yeah, you need a cell when you’re hanging precariously from the eve of your roof after going kamakaze on the leaves in the rain gutter, but OTHER than that, the old dial phones are the BEST.

  264. Islamorada Girl
    October 23rd, 2010 at 10:56 am [Reply]

    @rembrandt36 (#123):

    Probably, but I’d love to see the Bad Girls Club fall on them like a pack of violence starved skanks.

  265. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    October 23rd, 2010 at 11:08 am [Reply]

    @Islamorada Girl (#264): sounds like Grindhouse II has a plot now. . . .

  266. John C Fremont
    October 23rd, 2010 at 11:11 am [Reply]

    @Curm (#242): Yes, and both Rusty and the ’53 Buick remind me a lot like a certain plastic pal who’s fun to be with.

  267. Rusty
    October 23rd, 2010 at 11:15 am [Reply]

    9CL: “This is Fernanda Jons. In order to fit in to the comic’s aesthetic, she has agreed to have her chin removed.”

  268. terrapin
    October 23rd, 2010 at 11:15 am [Reply]

    The part of Rusty could be played by just about any wombat.

  269. Rusty
    October 23rd, 2010 at 11:18 am [Reply]

    @gleeb (#251): re FW: Batiuk screwed up. He has present-day old Les with the goatee at a book signing that should have taken place pre-jump forward, when Lisa was alive and Les still sported helmet hair and was clean shaven. The look of general douchiness, however, is accurate.

  270. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    October 23rd, 2010 at 11:21 am [Reply]

  271. Hogenmogen
    October 23rd, 2010 at 11:22 am [Reply]

    Frank: I don’t want you on my property or near my family.
    Mark Trail: Watch me as I again emasculate you in front of your step-daughter and adult peer in plain defiance of all that is decent.

    MW: I’m loving Ann Coulter’s cameo here. Please, for the love of all that is awesome in comics, can she start in on a mocking critique of Mary’s electric banana ensemble?

    Mole Man: My eyesight sucks, but I still have EARS, people!! Can you at least wait until I leave the room before you start talking about me?? True, I crawled out from under a rock to see this horrible play, but I do have MANNERS.

  272. Little A and his Crystal Ball That Might Finally Be Right Predicts:
    October 23rd, 2010 at 11:24 am [Reply]

    A3G: I thought the State Pie of Ohio is Cow Pie.

  273. Hogenmogen
    October 23rd, 2010 at 11:26 am [Reply]

    Crank: Why is he calling his daughter? Whenever I fill out a form that says “In case of emergency, call _________”, I always want to fill in “an ambulance!”

  274. commodorejohn
    October 23rd, 2010 at 11:42 am [Reply]

    A3G – “Finger pie!”

    Blondie – Actually, even assuming you were using a transmission medium good enough to get reliable transfer at the speed of light (a.k.a. the fastest fucking thing,) a nanosecond is enough time for the signal to travel…*drumroll* nearly one foot. So, uh, good luck with that. [*]


    FC – Wait, when did C. Sandy Cyst take over the actual Family Circus?

    FW – What are you bitching about, Les? Bleak is your lifeblood!

    GT – Cody’s dirty secret: his parents were ’90s grunge hipsters! Crank up the Pearl Jam!

    JP – “Well, it’s late, and tomorrow’s a long day of making even more money!”


    MT – Even Mark, eschewer of all linguistic informalities, can’t remember Sweetie’s actual name. (P.S. also ha ha, total madness!)

    MW – “Naturally rude! That’s what I’d say, if I’d only thought of it at the right moment for a proper zinger! Curse these frozen panels encapsulating single moments in time!”

    MC – Whoa, plot overdrive! (Major props to Melissa for Norm’s expression. It’s a simple look, but it says so much.)

    PBS – When Rat smiles, the world trembles.

    Phantom – He puts off saving his wife until tomorrow? When did The Phantom become Spider-Man!?

    Popeye – If I don’t try to comprehend it, it can’t eat my brain.

    RMMD – “At the diner! It was a popular topic of conversation!”

    SM – Well at least someone’s showing a little compassion.

    Edison Lee – Well that’s what you get for drinking Steve Jobs’s Kool-Aid, twerp.

  275. Baka Gaijin
    October 23rd, 2010 at 11:44 am [Reply]

    @terrapin (#268): You’re gonna get letters. You’re gonna sued by the “Wombat Anti-Defamation League” for slander. Rusty != Wombat.

  276. Scott Bot
    October 23rd, 2010 at 11:58 am [Reply]

    FW – Someone please tell me this isn’t the way real book tours work. Interviews on morning drive time radio with shock jocks? Signings at cub scout meeting? Either this book writing stuff isn’t all that I thought it was, or a certain comic strip author has done no research. I’m leaning towards the latter.

    JP – Ironic statement in that last panel, considering we can’t see what his hand is doing…

    MT – ‘I hope Lucky is not hurt.’ I swear, the dialog in the books my first grader reads have more feeling than this strip.

  277. Baka Gaijin
    October 23rd, 2010 at 12:08 pm [Reply]

    @Scott Bot (#276) on Funky Winkerbean: “It’s WRITING, you fool.” That’s what Mr. B would say if he cared to respond to you.

  278. Sequitur
    October 23rd, 2010 at 12:08 pm [Reply]

    Has anyone told Poteet about today’s Momma?

  279. agony
    October 23rd, 2010 at 12:09 pm [Reply]

    Gotta say, I’m really enjoying this flashback or whatever it is at Pooch Cafe. Almost all the strips since Poncho got adopted have been kinda sweet and funny.

  280. wossname
    October 23rd, 2010 at 12:16 pm [Reply]

    BS – Yeah, very funny, but may I just point out that (a) a bonobo is not a monkey, it’s an ape; and (b) bonobos are about the most peaceful primates there are, and spend all their time having wild bonobo sex in various combinations of individuals, and none of their time fighting. Pastis, you should have said a jackal or a hyena.

    Popeye – since when do fish, sick or otherwise, sing?

    BrS – oh nooooo! Bitsy is a crook! The plot thickens enjoyably.

  281. John C Fremont
    October 23rd, 2010 at 12:20 pm [Reply]

  282. Scott Bot
    October 23rd, 2010 at 12:20 pm [Reply]

    @wossname (#280)re: Popeye : Obviously you’ve never seen the singing fish on the wall at my inlaws house.

  283. Jamus The Bartender
    October 23rd, 2010 at 12:57 pm [Reply]

    Spider Man: Well, this is shaping up well. Pete, having Mole Man as an uncle can only HELP your money situation, I mean, he only owns all the real estate UNDER …..well, EVERYTHING!

  284. Poteet
    October 23rd, 2010 at 12:59 pm [Reply]

    @Sequitur (#278): Thank you! I don’t follow MOMMA, so I have no idea if this could turn into an actual storyline. I do think a few more days of Momma’s reaction would be an improvement over the MOMMA strips that occasionally get featured on CC.

  285. Jamus The Bartender
    October 23rd, 2010 at 1:09 pm [Reply]

    @Vince M (#253): Yeah, when the FBI had to suspend him for an IA investigation, and the writers were looking for reasons to keep him in Twin Peaks.

  286. Baka Gaijin
    October 23rd, 2010 at 1:26 pm [Reply]

    @John C Fremont (#281): I don’t get YouTube here in Undisclosed Location. Is that “Mr. B” from “Hazel?” He was Thorny in “Ozzie and Harriet [The Adventures of], too.”

  287. Charlene
    October 23rd, 2010 at 1:28 pm [Reply]

    @Scott Bot (#276): A certain comic strip writer thinks that his experiences – namely, being famous as a comic strip writer long before his first book was published – are the norm.

  288. Charlene
    October 23rd, 2010 at 1:38 pm [Reply]

    @Mr. O’Malley (#237): The witch-finders were paid so much per witch, so the more witches they found, the more they got paid. Witch hunts also got rid of people nobody wanted around – the mentally ill, older single women, non-conformists of all kinds, even redheads in some areas. One of the shocks in my family was that so many of the kids born to first-generation immigrants had red hair; the old people finally admitted that there had been tons of redheaded babies born in the family in the Old Country, but none of them had been allowed to live because red hair was the sign of a witch.

  289. Mibbitmaker
    October 23rd, 2010 at 1:39 pm [Reply]

    @Baka Gaijin (#286): Let’s just say that Mr. B, unlike Mr. Batiuk, is a Natural.

    Or, the “Manos: The Hands of Fate” of shorts.

  290. True Fable
    October 23rd, 2010 at 1:41 pm [Reply]

    Hot damn! According to Saturday’s strips, Mark Trail called Frank “sweetie” and offered to walk him home until the little girl interrupted him, Adrian came out while trying on her dress, Rex Morgan nearly snapped his head off looking around when a guy said his pants were too tight and Mary’s fixin’ to slap a bitch! Okay, that last one wasn’t exactly spelled out but look at that face in the last panel and TELL me it isn’t so.

  291. True Fable
    October 23rd, 2010 at 1:45 pm [Reply]

    Aaaaand Aunt Mae has fallen for a super-villain. *yawn* What some people will do to get away from Peter Parker!

  292. Mibbitmaker
    October 23rd, 2010 at 1:54 pm [Reply]

    MT: Not “You’re disgusting, I will see to it you don’t get elected dog catcher!” Nope, just “Go Nixon on this, Frank, I want to save my own keister…. and yours.” Sheesh! Politicians!

    FW: Not sure about a signing at a pizzeria? Montoni’s?? Sacrilege!

    JP: What, “shoe business” and no Ed Sullivan impression?

    MW: Hey, don’t mess with her, Mary — she makes “Moy + Guiella 10-23″ float! She’s a fellow sorceress!

    MC: This’ll end like the AntiCathy! (smile)

    NS: So that’s what the “Sacred Vessels of Nature” are! …..*shrug*…..

  293. Roman Fingers
    October 23rd, 2010 at 1:56 pm [Reply]

    @queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#270): Smiling wombat…please make it stop.

  294. KarMann
    October 23rd, 2010 at 1:59 pm [Reply]

    @wossname (#280)on [P]BS: Yeah, but on the other hand, it’s coming from Rat. It just wouldn’t be Rat if it were true and accurate!

  295. GotFuzzy
    October 23rd, 2010 at 2:05 pm [Reply]

    @commodorejohn (#274): JP – “Well, it’s late, and tomorrow’s a long day of making even more money getting big piles of stupid money handed to us on a silver platter!”

  296. mollificent
    October 23rd, 2010 at 2:12 pm [Reply]

    Archie: Chucky is alive and well.

    ReFOOB: Honestly–no fooling–when I read this I thought that somehow FOOB had been switched with a Medium Large strip. (Not because it’s funny in and of itself, but because it stoops almost to self-parody.)

    JP: “I have to admit…you’ve got the touch, counselor! And look, here are my breasts, conveniently and perkily jutting out! Touch…breasts…am I getting through to you, counselor?”

    (P.S. Umm…did she inflate her breasts, Rue McClanahan style, between panels 1-3? Or is it an optical illusion?)

    Jumble: “I will be waiting, Mr. Fruhlinger…um, I mean 24601!”

    Luann: Go on, Toni. Reward him for his irresponsible stupidity. Maybe you two deserve each other.

    RMMD: Ummm…ummm…a handsome young man buttoning his shirt, saying “My pants were too tight, so I started working out!” after being shut up in an office with Rex? All I can say is, bow chicka bow bow…no subtext here!

  297. KarMann
    October 23rd, 2010 at 2:20 pm [Reply]

    @mollificent (#296) on JP: Well, in Driverville [*] they say that Abbey’s not-so-small breasts grew three sizes that frame! [*]

  298. commodorejohn
    October 23rd, 2010 at 2:22 pm [Reply]

    @GotFuzzy (#295): Point. [*]

  299. mollificent
    October 23rd, 2010 at 2:33 pm [Reply]

    @KarMann (#297) and @commodorejohn (#298): You could put an eye out with those things!

  300. Baka Gaijin
    October 23rd, 2010 at 2:45 pm [Reply]

    @mollificent (#299): So who’s complaining? I’d regale my optometrist, his nurse, med tech, receptionist, and the cleaning guy/lady with the tale that led up to this injury. Hell, I might call the ambulance so the EMT’s could hear, too. There are worse ways to go. And if they send me to the ophthalmologist, woo hoo! A whole hospital of bragging to be done.

    October 23rd, 2010 at 2:51 pm [Reply]

    @mollificent (#296):: Jumble-Hoohoowhahahaa* (*evil laugh) To be continued….(soon).

  302. KarMann
    October 23rd, 2010 at 3:08 pm [Reply]

    @KarMann (#297): Aw crap, I just realized that I could have easily maintained the rhyme scheme there. Well, here’s the edited version:
    Well, in Driverville they claim that Abbey’s not-so-small breasts grew three sizes that frame!

  303. Poteet
    October 23rd, 2010 at 3:41 pm [Reply]

    @Charlene (#288): In the case of the Salem witchcraft trials, there has been speculation that politics may have been involved. Two prominent families (and their supporters) were feuding over whether Salem should merge with a nearby town, and most of the witchcraft accusers came from one side of the feud.

    One lesson for witchcraft-accusers from the Salem experience — don’t reach too high. When the Governor’s wife was accused of witchcraft, the Governor decided things had gone too far. Oops.

  304. KarMann
    October 23rd, 2010 at 3:46 pm [Reply]

    @Poteet (#303): So that’s why we haven’t seen Beth this week in Mark Trail! She must be offstage casting a spell. I wonder whether she’s trying to hex Frank or Mark?

  305. Poteet
    October 23rd, 2010 at 3:49 pm [Reply]

    @True Fable (#291): Sir Fable MTK, I agree. And given Aunt Mae’s almost-total lack of a life until now, it’s not surprising that a giant mole would look good to her. The last time I remember seeing her get out of her apartment, Peter had carried her off because she had some kind of health problem and then he just dumped her in a hospital parking lot during a city-wide blackout so she could be run over by an ambulance, er, I mean somehow found and treated by hospital personnel. Why she’s so fond of him is beyond me.

  306. Poteet
    October 23rd, 2010 at 3:52 pm [Reply]

    @KarMann (#304): Maybe she’s trying to transport herself out of LoFo altogether. And from what we’ve seen, I wouldn’t blame her for leaving the kid behind.

  307. Artist formerly known as Ben
    October 23rd, 2010 at 4:04 pm [Reply]


    MC: Ed and Melissa, you are keeping this going, right? I mean you have the rights to all the characters, so it would be a shame to waste them. And I’m curious to see how reproduction shakes out between a monotreme and a viviparous mammal.

    A3G: Not waiting for her partner, Detective Olivia Benson busts in to arrest notorious “Baking Madam” Iris for her role in the prostitution ring that… Oh, on second look it’s just Tommie.

    SFx: She can play it off as soft-hearted sympathy, but you know May Parker is just horny. “Yum. I hate to see the Mole Man leave, but I love to watch him walk away.”

    Marvin: Ha. Like “pocket-protected nerd” wouldn’t be a huge improvement.

    Ziggy: Busted! Bathing birds totally give Ziggy wood.

    SFx: They’re just practicing catch, anally probe, and release fishing.

    GT: At this point it takes Glengarry-sized brass balls to show a non-villainous mother smoking around her kid, much less a kid who goes on to become an all-star athlete. Then again he is playing for Milford.

    C-Shaft: Worst Hitchcock tribute ever.

    H&L: Brilliant. Instead of having to replace balls when you lose them, you have to replace them when the microchip is disabled by repeated percussive force, and then you lose them.

    Phantom: “Ah well, gives me a chance to lengthen my stay in Rhodia. This really is some beautiful country. Maybe I’ll look around some properties.”

    RMMD: When I’m getting dressed after a doctor’s exam, my first instinct isn’t to utter any sentence with the word “prostate” in it. But maybe I’m the weirdo.

    DT: Det. Tracy’s itchy trigger finger won’t rest any longer.*
    *In the Chicago tongue.

    Baldo: Maybe they really should put her in a home. Are there facilities for degenerate gambling addicts?

    Blondie: That’s different. If you had asked me I would have said that a “Batvision” camera is any camera tilted to the side so that the floor appeared to be sloping.

  308. Artist formerly known as Ben
    October 23rd, 2010 at 4:10 pm [Reply]

    @wossname (#280): Bonobos are less aggressive than common chimps, but they do fight on some occasions, and they are much stronger than they look. You’d be in for a tussle.

  309. Artist formerly known as Ben
    October 23rd, 2010 at 4:12 pm [Reply]

    @commodorejohn (#274):

    A3G – “Finger pie!”

    That’s right. Aunt Iris’ home is there beneath the blue suburban skies.

  310. mollificent
    October 23rd, 2010 at 4:29 pm [Reply]

    @LUJBEM FEJF (#301): Haha, that is so hilariously wrong. :) I kept trying to figure out which recording it was from, though. (Sounded like it might be a karaoke recording…those, as I just found out, are usually allowed as soundtracks on YouTube.)

  311. The Grandstander
    October 23rd, 2010 at 4:30 pm [Reply]

    RMMD: Rex confirms a Stu’s diagnosis to another patient. The man is a walking talking HIPAA violation. He should have his license revoked.

    S4th: Just wait until Sally figures out the Ted picked out the costumes with Aria’s help. She’s gonna cut his nuts off!!

  312. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    October 23rd, 2010 at 4:41 pm [Reply]

    You know, speaking of bonobo chimps in the comics[*]

    Dick – I cn haz bludbath?

    Non Seq“…the treat of the ekert…”? This is a test to see who’s still reading, right?

    @Baka Gaijin (#238): Every panel of Rose is Rose is an ad for a product of the Massengil Corporation. Every single one.

  313. John C Fremont
    October 23rd, 2010 at 4:47 pm [Reply]

    @Baka Gaijin (#286): Sorry. Like Mibbitmaker said, it’s Mr. B Natural, who serves as proof that there are things out there even scarier than clowns. Certainly more confusing, at least.

  314. Baka Gaijin
    October 23rd, 2010 at 5:13 pm [Reply]

    @John C Fremont (#313): Uh, what? Mister? The 50′s must have been a confusing time. Mister B was obviously a woman and Liberace was obviously…very happy.

    Scarier than clowns? That would be people like “Queenie” Adrian who vote. On the scariness scale, Mister B Natural is down around “taco fart.”

  315. Baka Gaijin
    October 23rd, 2010 at 5:20 pm [Reply]

    @[Old Man] Muffaroo (#312): Huh. You spell “Crankshaft” as “Rose is Rose?” [*]

  316. Mordock999
    October 23rd, 2010 at 5:32 pm [Reply]

    Today’s Luann 10/23/10

    “I’m NO Bigot, but I gotta tell ya. When a SMOKING Hot Babe, who once told me she loves me with ALL her heart, HANDS me the key to Her house, well, I TEND to get a little NERVOUS!” — Brad DeGroot, Ex-NPR employee

    DEATH to TJ!!!

  317. zerowolf
    October 23rd, 2010 at 6:10 pm [Reply]

    GT: Now I understand this plot line. It’s Harry Potter with all the good stuff taken out and a lame ass Gil Thorpe football season in its place. But I do have to give some props for substituting an African American in the Draco Malfoy role.

  318. Baka Gaijin
    October 23rd, 2010 at 6:11 pm [Reply]

    Yeah, on Luann, I’m just not getting that “pity fuck” vibe. Come on, you all know that’s the best Brad can hope for.

  319. Austria
    October 23rd, 2010 at 6:13 pm [Reply]

    BC: Okay, that’s just lame. I’ve come to expect far better things from Wiley’s dictionary. Booooo!! Boooooo!! Get off the stage!

    Blondie: I knew this strip was old, but no automatic refrigerator lights? Really?

    MC: Water – not pregnant. OJ – not pregnant. Yogurt – ALIVE but not pregnant.

    RMMD: Are you serious. I swear this strip just gets gayer by the day.


  320. Terry in Maryland
    October 23rd, 2010 at 6:16 pm [Reply]

    @Les of the Jungle Patrol (#243): “I’m a 34 year old heterosexual male and I have opinions about Mary Worth. My life has taken a strange turn someplace.”

    Josh is leading y’all down the garden path.

  321. Steve the Pocket
    October 23rd, 2010 at 8:15 pm [Reply]

    @Austria (#319): I’m pretty sure this is so he can watch his food with the door closed.

    Although, it got me to thinking: I bet those newfangled LED lights they’ve got in some fridges now could be designed to stay on 24/7 and still use less electricity and put out less heat than the incandescent kind does in the short timespans that the door is open. Honestly, in our house, that bulb has got to be a bigger threat to the food (at least on the top shelf) than the ambient air that’s getting in.

  322. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    October 23rd, 2010 at 8:16 pm [Reply]

    @Austria (#319): this current RMMD arc has nuttin’ on the “starfish Nikki and the wet trout” arc.


  323. Vince M
    October 23rd, 2010 at 8:22 pm [Reply]

    @Hogenmogen (#271): re. MW: Well, I hear her electric banana ensemble is bound to be the very next phase.

  324. Spiny Norman
    October 23rd, 2010 at 8:47 pm [Reply]

    I love the contrast between Lucky’s expression in his first butt-kicking (No! Why me? How could you do this? Oh, cruel world!) and the second (Tweeting: Butt kicked again. Same old same old. #Frank_Governor). I fully expect that by Monday the fawn will be doing meth, dressing Goth, and reeking of disillusion and despair.

    No, wait. Screenplay idea! Live-action Bambi—but instead of his mom dying, Bambi gets kicked in the ass repeatedly and becomes an angry outsider like James Dean. I see De Niro as would-be Gov. Frank, Colm Meaney as the senator, and Keanu Reeves (he can’t act either) as Mark Trail.

  325. Beetle Bumstead
    October 23rd, 2010 at 9:03 pm [Reply]

    @James (#46):
    As I suggested in an earlier post, I think it is a plastic deer, not a real one. Living in the part of upstate NY where deer are referred to as ‘rats with hooves,’ I assure you that a real deer would have scampered away well before the first “DON’T!”

  326. Chip Whittle
    October 23rd, 2010 at 10:01 pm [Reply]

    @Carlo (#234):

    Also, why was the Halloween story line run a week and a half before Halloween? I’m on the verge of convening a Warren Commission for Cleats.

    Possibly it’s run early because Cleats is ending this Halloween, sad to say. Bill Hinds reports the news at comment number three of the October 22 Daily Cartoonist report. I’m sorry to hear it, as I like the characters and really like it when the strip gets its fantasy vibe going in things like Monsters-versus-Aliens contests.

  327. Poteet
    October 23rd, 2010 at 10:02 pm [Reply]

    MW — So to recapitulate — we spent some time sitting in a bridal salon, Adrian tried on ONE lousy dress, Jill laughed, Mary got seriously annoyed, and we left.

    Planning this wedding is going to take ferking forever.

  328. mollificent
    October 23rd, 2010 at 10:07 pm [Reply]

    @LUJBEM FEJF (#301): P.S. oh God, I’m so embarrassed, it was the original London cast. I didn’t listen long enough. (I’d know Colm Wilkinson’s voice anywhere.)

  329. commodorejohn
    October 23rd, 2010 at 10:15 pm [Reply]

    @Chip Whittle (#326): Oh joy, so this Halloween gets to be a double-slaughter of Cleats and My Cage? Maybe they can just go all the way and throw all the strips that aren’t legacy dreck on the bonfire.

  330. jamoche
    October 23rd, 2010 at 10:21 pm [Reply]

    @Scott Bot (#205): “If you want a vision of the future, imagine a foot kicking a deer’s butt – forever.”

  331. Poteet
    October 23rd, 2010 at 11:07 pm [Reply]

    @jamoche (#330): Bwahaha!

  332. commodorejohn
    October 23rd, 2010 at 11:36 pm [Reply]

    @Poteet (#327): You know, it’s possible that Moy decided to conserve detail and only show one of many dresses that was tried on. That same scenario could’ve been played out eighty more times, for all we know. I, personally, would desperately like to keep it that way.

  333. Margaret
    October 23rd, 2010 at 11:55 pm [Reply]

    Here’s a question: Is the mark trail a variation of yesterday’s, in which lucky was admonished to “RUN!” without acknowledgement of the fact that even PET deer can’t understand human speech, or a continuation? So is the first panel a recap of, “bad guy kicks deer, little girl screams ineffectively”, or did in fact the deer stay still to get kicked in the ass AGAIN, and the girl switch to new words to shout, very wisely choosing to direct her screaming at the human this time ’round? DISCUSS.

    Also, I looked at that dennis cartoon for a while, trying to figure out why golfing would add /8 problems. I was like, is that slash supposed to indicate approximate, you know, approximately 8 problems, such as 9, 9 holes being something golfers also do on occasion. Anyways, I finally figured out it was a one, and it just goes to show that I don’t expect Dennis the Menace to make any goddamn sense.

  334. Baka Gaijin
    October 23rd, 2010 at 11:56 pm [Reply]

    @Poteet (#327): “Two words: Elopement, beeoytch!” If we’re lucky that’s what Jill McMeany will say in a few weeks.

  335. spazmodeus
    October 24th, 2010 at 12:08 am [Reply]

    @Spiny Norman (#324): Bambi Winkerbean?

  336. ElkMeadow
    October 24th, 2010 at 12:47 am [Reply]

    At the risk of killing the thread, I’m going to point out that Alan Rickman is guest starring in Sunday’s Prince Valiant at the title character. Ig shows that he’s just as loose with secrets as Dr. Morgan and the mayor’s wife and receptionist. (The Underground is a secret, dang it. No wonder Jareth built the Labyrinth and put out the goblin guard, what with everyone discussing it in the castle courtyard.)

    Also, Ig basically insulted Valiant (and all the guys of Camelot) right in front of everyone. Weaklings and pack animals indeed; Ig was the one who was carrying the luggage through the whole trip.

    I call that we will not be seeing Prudence again. She will simply disappear, just as the other maiden has already. Man, I remember when a number of the story lines were about how Aleta collected her various maids-in-waiting/female body guards and how each got her own man.

  337. ElkMeadow
    October 24th, 2010 at 1:13 am [Reply]

    @commodorejohn (#332):

    I agree. Somewhere along the line, Adrian refers to the first dress she tried on. Which meant perhaps that Jill was rolling on the floor, laughing most of the day.

    Speaking of Jill, what happened to her height?

  338. Comcis Fan
    October 24th, 2010 at 1:27 am [Reply]

    FW: Wait, Les had other books published? I thought he toiled in unpublished obscurity before “Lisa’s Story.”

  339. ElkMeadow
    October 24th, 2010 at 1:29 am [Reply]

    Oh, gross. Just checked My Cage. She peed on the sticks and, instead of putting them into the bathroom garbage, took them into the kitchen and put them into the garbage there. How (urk) unappetizing. But I guess being (*****SPOILER!*****) can make one really ditzy enough to do that.

  340. Poteet
    October 24th, 2010 at 1:31 am [Reply]

    @ElkMeadow (#337): Yes, it’s true that Adrian referred to “the first dress.” But all the other strips, including today’s color extravaganza, clearly imply that only one dress was involved. So I say Adrian referred to a “first dress” because, let’s face it, she’s not the sharpest knife in the drawer. Although her suggestion to go to lunch at the end of the Sunday strip shows that she is at least aware of the basic mammalian need for periodic nourishment.

  341. Poteet
    October 24th, 2010 at 1:40 am [Reply]

  342. ElkMeadow
    October 24th, 2010 at 1:46 am [Reply]

    @Comcis Fan (#338):

    I understand it was a biography of John Darling, who is also dead, dead, dead, but still wanders around in flashbacks.

  343. ElkMeadow
    October 24th, 2010 at 1:47 am [Reply]

    @Poteet (#340):

    Yep, without nourishment, Jill is going to keep shrinking in every panel.

  344. Poteet
    October 24th, 2010 at 2:11 am [Reply]

    10/24 PV — Oh no! *sniff* Good-bye, Ig. I’ll miss you. And I’ll miss Bup and Nudder too. I hope you’ll find love and happiness underground.

  345. Gold-Digging Nanny
    October 24th, 2010 at 2:20 am [Reply]

    Sunday SFx: Why does Slylock Fox think Count Weirdly is pulling a scam? Uh … because that’s actually Count Weirdly’s alchemy machine?

  346. ElkMeadow
    October 24th, 2010 at 3:08 am [Reply]

    @Poteet (#344):

    I wish we could have seen what Bup and Nudder were up to while Ig was trying to chase Prudence. *cue music from Beauty and the Beast”*

  347. black butterfly
    October 24th, 2010 at 3:11 am [Reply]

    DT – Aaargh! The face-melting monster is back! Though if the wife was cleverly disguising herself amongst the federal agents cleverly disguised as hobos, I give her props for that. Or since these agents are not very good at catching someone, to say the least, was their marriage another clever plan by The Government? Must… not… think of Dick Tracy before breakfast.

  348. black butterfly
    October 24th, 2010 at 3:12 am [Reply]

    DT – Also love the pearls. Was the artist thinking we won’t recognize her without the pearls? No, dear, this face is unforgettable and, depressingly, the most consistent one in the storyline.

  349. This Guy
    October 24th, 2010 at 4:17 am [Reply]

    FW: So how long until Les twigs to the fact that his publisher is a university press with low standards and that he shouldn’t expect good venues? Of course, it won’t be until after Batiuk does the same, so I’m gonna guess a few days after never.

  350. Baka Gaijin
    October 24th, 2010 at 4:45 am [Reply]

    Sunday’s Strips:

    Mary Worth: Based on her expression in the last panel, Adrian’s gonna slip a roofie into Jill’s scotch rocks. “Coincidentally” she chose the cafe where Charlie works. Let’s watch nature take its course! Heh, heh, heh.

    Over the Hedge: Ha ha! RJ’s wearing Mary Worth’s granny panties.

    Sally Forth: OK, today Ted’s in a feverish delusion. What explains ever other day?

    Pluggers: If that was any kind of good barbecue joint, you know, the kind with stars, there’d be a roll of paper towels on the table.

    Apartment 3-G: “Jam Today.” I wonder if it involves extremely stale hot dogs?

    The Lockhorns, upper right: I don’t want to know, I don’t want to know, I don’t want to know.

  351. Roman Fingers
    October 24th, 2010 at 6:14 am [Reply]

    MW: Look, Adrian, that kind of maturity is simply not acceptable!

    RMMD: In the last panel, Rex recoils at the horror of modern technology that is the “text message”. Thank goodness he’s never hear of “electronic mail”.

    JP: So why is Sophie so pissed off? Beyond the usual teenage angst, that is.

    A3G: Nice. A “Through the Looking Glass” reference. Maybe they’re trying to tell us that if we’re all in a 1960′s drug haze, the strip makes sense.

    Cranky: OK, it took me a second, but I’ll admit I laughed.

    The Funktacular Winkerbean: When I first saw the “Spinal Tap” reference, I was hoping for death by spontaneous combustion. Instead, we got Les hinting about pity sex. Damn.

    DtM: Dennis, do you really think Joey can follow the concept of rules? Do you?

    FC: If I had those kids, I’d probably hide in the bushes, too. And not just on Halloween.

    MT: I get the feeling that the Elrodball couldn’t come up with an animal to feature, so he just said “Screw it–I’m doing ‘mammals’ today”.

    9CL: I can see why Edda would fall for such a smooth talker. I’ll lay odds that at least once, he’s told her “You are my density”.

    Marm: The ‘Duke is like nine feet tall, and he couldn’t get out until the gate was open?

    Plug: Most of the barbecue places I’ve been in have a big roll of paper towels on the table, usually on a stand made out of a piece of pipe screwed into a hunk of wood. Where is this place–Paris?

    Middletons: “Scary sample ballot” indeed. I’ve been looking at the gubernatorial race, and can’t figure out which goober to pick.

    DT: Now that’s what I’m talkin’ about!

  352. Baka Gaijin
    October 24th, 2010 at 6:51 am [Reply]

    @Roman Fingers (#351) on Pluggers: I think the implication is, this place has no stars because they don’t have hand hygiene supplies available for both the customers and staff. You’re a Plugger if your favorite restaurant’s nickname is “The Ptomaine Tavern.”

    Actually, the only BBQ places I’ve seen without the rolls of Bounty are the ones you can’t smell smoke at. And serve Merlot. But not raccoons.

  353. TheDiva
    October 24th, 2010 at 7:11 am [Reply]

    It’s 5am and I can’t sleep thanks to the stomach flu my son bestowed on me, so time for Sunday comics, I guess.

    Frazz displays a Pratchettesque understanding of the universe.

    FW: It’s not enough for Batiuk to make his own strip dour and depressing, he must even suck the joy from one of the most beloved comedies ever made.

    MC: Awwwwww.

    MW: “Shut up, Adrian, this doesn’t concern you.”

  354. Mr. O'Malley
    October 24th, 2010 at 7:37 am [Reply]

    Crankshaft: For a gag-a-day cartoon, maybe you should avoid complex political issues.

    FW: I may have mentioned this before, I don’t remember. I went to a book signing by Anne Rice when “Interview with the Vampire” came out in paperback. I was basically the only person there. I think one or two people came by for autographed copies. But I spent an hour or so just hanging out with her and chatting. She was a fascinating person to talk to. But I suppose, from her point of view, a book signing with just one fan hanging about was not very successful.

    I must credit her with being unfailingly courteous, while she was probably thinking “This event is just a waste of my time”.

    Anne Rice is a very successful author. She has written best-sellers. So Les is complaining about his promos?

    I know authors who self-publish and who turn out at every relevant event to push their product. Les is above all that?

    Lockhorns: The “Sorry to keep you on hold so long” one is a puzzle. It’s a telemarketer?

    MT: How about those mammals? Can we get any more generic? Let’s hear it for organisms with spinal cords!

    MW: You have to take your excitement where you can get it in Santa Royale. So I’m excited about the emergence of a new dining option, the Lunch Restaurant.

    RMMD: We have local elections coming up. If someone revealed that one of the candidates had prostate cancer, it would be a snooze-fest. Around here we’re more into “who knew about the big embezzlement, or about the somewhat smaller embezzlement?”.

    RwO: Roman chariot races were pretty much demolition derbies, you don’t need to add much. At modern wool festivals, they often have children’s rodeos riding sheep. Maybe this could be added to the fun.

    ZtP: Nice artwork today.

    Plugger restaurants are rated in Health Code violations!

    I’ve had so much bland, tasteless pulled pork, I would have to get a very special recommendation before ordering it anywhere. But bland and tasteless is probably just what Pluggers are looking for.

    PV: I’m sorry about the Neanderthals leaving, they rather pepped up the action.

  355. Amateur
    October 24th, 2010 at 7:53 am [Reply]

    MW: Oh, brother. You know your conversation has fallen on hard times when Adrian is the Voice of Reason.

  356. Rocky Stoneaxe
    October 24th, 2010 at 8:20 am [Reply]


    “I have a sad story to tell you
    It may hurt your feelings a bit
    Last night when I walked into my bathroom
    I stepped in a big pile of …shhhhh . . . aving cream,
    be nice and clean. . .
    Shave ev’ry day and you’ll always look keen.”

    (A tip of the fedora to Benny Bell!)

  357. wossname
    October 24th, 2010 at 8:42 am [Reply]

    Blondie – So they’re just going to leave this stupid costume on Daisy for a week? I bet Poteet will have something to say about that.

    Curtis – Hey now, it’s cheating to use the exact same image in the throwaway panels that you use as panel 1 of the non-throwaway part.

    FC – Paging Dr. Freud! Paging Dr. Freud! We have an emergency in panel 1!

    MT – Heh heh, Rusty – he said mammary glands!

    Mutts – Awwwww… McDonnell made me cry. (It happens often.)

    MC – Awwwww… Ed and Mel made me cry. (First time, I think.)

    RMMD – So today we learned that (a) Mrs. Hizzoner blabbed (which we already knew); (b) Little Miss Hizzoner also blabbed; (c) Diane lies.

    Sly – Ummmmm… maybe because there’s no such thing as a molecular soaker?

    DT – Well that’s good to know… the whole recession thing is D’Buckworth’s fault. And here we were all blaming those shaky mortgage things.

    @Scott Bot (#282): OMG, you’re right! I forgot all about Billy the Singing Bass.

  358. Ukulele Ike
    October 24th, 2010 at 8:51 am [Reply]

    @Mr. O’Malley (#354): Re: Plugger restaurant preferences: Bland, tasteless, and really big portions.

  359. Rocky Stoneaxe
    October 24th, 2010 at 9:15 am [Reply]

    Family Circus:

    “You know it’s gotta be Hallowe’en
    When creepy and kooky Bil Keane
    Follows innocent trick or treaters around
    Hoping to expand the Keane Kompound!”

    (How do you think he got the other four?)

  360. Dingo, the Essence of Purity and Virtue Incarnate™
    October 24th, 2010 at 9:19 am [Reply]

    Hey, folks. I finally got the chance to read posts in a week and see that Baka Gaijan wondered where I was. No, I haven’t written under a new name; I like this one.

    Two weeks ago, I was on the phone with my mother and she was making a new recipe: Vermont Maple Pecan cookies (google it!). I asked if she and my father had ever seen Vermont in the autumn. They hadn’t. On Monday, I went to my boss. I had seventeen days of vacation left for the year. So, Mom and Dad and I left Monday morning and went to Niagara Falls. The next day we got to Albany. We spent the next day on route 7 in the Green Mountains of Vermont up to Burlington. The following day we drove down to Brattleboro and then across scenic route 9 back to Albany. After a stay in Ashtabula, we arrived home yesterday. All because of Vermont Maple Pecan cookies, which are very good.

    Each Hampton Inn offered wi-fi. I haven’t checked in here for a week but kept up with the comics every morning. Obviously, the writers of Mark Trail have never followed Illinois or New York politics. I’m also a bit downhearted that My Cage never introduced a dingo into the mix.

  361. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    October 24th, 2010 at 9:55 am [Reply]

    MC: d’awwwwwwww. I’m less worried about the last week falling apart now.

    Crank: heeee! oh, this will attract the snark.

    GF: another funny one.

    PBS: stealth support for the plushies.

    Luann: panel “Five flop” will be Rule 34′d. no doubt about it.

    SF: heeee! Loved it, Ces.

    CdS: everything goes better with trebuchet practice!!!

    Garfield: well, THAT was odd. Probably the closest that I’ve came to laughing at this strip in years, if not decades.

    NS: clever! Your neighbors all hate you, but whatever.


    PV: awwww, Ig departs, much to Poteets dismay. [*]

    9CL: would have been better as a silent strip.

    Bizarro: unspeakable filth! (or srs wtf, either way.)

    FW: Les is a juicebag. nuff said.

    MT: you and me baby we aint nothing but mammals.

    MG&G: WIN!

    Mutts: KLANG! (some anvils need dropping.)

    OB: Bud knows where those fingers have been. . . .

    PMP: clever! me likey.

    SFx: “which scene is different” starring Marvin. And that whole “matter can neither be created nor destroyed” thermodynamics thing.

    posting before catching up, apologies for any oversnark.

  362. gleeb
    October 24th, 2010 at 9:58 am [Reply]

    Val: I like the look Bup is giving Ig. “Chances will improve? Speak for yourself; I’ve been getting more action than The Phantom.”

    Slylock: Hey, it’s Marvin! Also, the fox doesn’t trust M le Comte because Slylock is a paranoiac.

    Mary: Adrian’s in trouble now. She interrupted Mary’s stern off-telling.

    ‘bean: But in the death-cult of Montoni’s there is no mercy.

  363. Baka Gaijin
    October 24th, 2010 at 10:00 am [Reply]

    @Dingo, the Essence of Purity and Virtue Incarnate™ (#360): Aaaah, good to hear from you. I’d hoped you didn’t suffer from karoshi. [*] That would have been sad.

    October 24th, 2010 at 10:18 am [Reply]

    @mollificent (#328): I wasn’t going to say anything ;)

  365. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    October 24th, 2010 at 10:24 am [Reply]

    There are few things kewter than a Chocolate Lab. (Even if I do prefer the black ones.)


    kewty drinks are sometimes necessary.

    failbats :[.

  366. Boophilus
    October 24th, 2010 at 10:38 am [Reply]

    @ElkMeadow (#339): Bridget did not necessarily discard used pregancy strips in the kitchen garbage. She could have been tearing open the boxes, leaving the packaging strewn across the counter/in the kitchen trash while she dashed to the bathroom for another test.

    I hope :-) But, honestly, the kitchen is where I dump groceries, even non-edible ones, and is closer to the front door than the bathroom in my apartment, too.

  367. terrapin
    October 24th, 2010 at 10:56 am [Reply]

    @queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#270): Exactly the one I was looking at.

  368. terrapin
    October 24th, 2010 at 11:12 am [Reply]

    @Baka Gaijin (#275): It wouldn’t be the first time.

  369. JD Rhoades
    October 24th, 2010 at 11:18 am [Reply]

    FW: This story line and Les’s whining about book promotion continues to make me nuts.

    I’ve had what I call “Hare Krishna signings”: the ones where not only does no one come to see you, people who spot you in the store walk by quickly with their eyes averted, as if you were dancing there in a robe, playing a tambourine and hitting them up for spare change.

    You know what you do? You don’t “pity” anyone, and you don’t feel sorry for yourselves like this douchebag Les. You hang out with the store owner or salespeople and talk books. It’s easy and natural to do…after all, they’re probably book lovers, too. They’re sure as hell not in it for the money. And when it’s done, if you’ve been a nice person, they’ll invite you back and more importantly, they won’t make “mercy buys”…but they will hand sell your book.

  370. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    October 24th, 2010 at 11:18 am [Reply]

    got all four Frame Games.

    GO ME!!!!

    *does happy victory dance*

  371. Mel aka Mel
    October 24th, 2010 at 11:19 am [Reply]

    @Rocky Stoneaxe (#356): I got a stern talking-to in fourth grade for bringing that 45 to class on Record Player Day. Good thing I left “My Ding-A-Ling” at home.

  372. JD Rhoades
    October 24th, 2010 at 11:24 am [Reply]

    And another thing…how’s he going to sell books in a pizza parlor? Sometimes, a local bookstore will set up a table at a non-bookstore event, but I don’t see any evidence of that here. Is he selling his promo copies? Good luck with that.

    I need to stop thinking about this.

  373. John C Fremont
    October 24th, 2010 at 11:30 am [Reply]

    @Gold-Digging Nanny (#345): Nice catch! I guess that’s why they pay gold-digging nannies the big bucks. Er somethin’.

    @Dingo, the Essence of Purity and Virtue Incarnate™ (#360): Geez, first the awesome fishing trip and now this. You’re making the rest of us kids look bad! But thanks for the tip on the cookies, though.

    Crankshaft – Hey, Batiuk and Ayers stole my joke from, like, two years ago. That’s, like, my “intellectual” property, man!

    ZtP – Hey, it’s Chimney Rock. At last, some attention in the comics for Nebraska that doesn’t involve Rolly Church or Brooke McEldowney. Um, hooray, I guess.

    A3G – Mmm. Pink pecan meringue. There must be a Santa Royale in Ohio.

  374. He Brought Queenie Baby Jesus
    October 24th, 2010 at 11:39 am [Reply]

    It’s Apparent You’re A Pervert:
    Scenario 1: no change.
    Scenario 2: remove “she babysits”.
    Scenario 3: no change.

  375. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    October 24th, 2010 at 11:47 am [Reply]

  376. kkarenb
    October 24th, 2010 at 11:52 am [Reply]

    @Roman Fingers (#351): Re:JP – Sophie knows everything – she’s a cheerleader.

    @Ukulele Ike (#358): Really big portions is the most important. The food can taste like crap, but there better be a ton of it.

    Rex Morgan – Way to go, Rex. He shouldn’t even be confirming that the mayor is a patient, let alone discussing his diagnosis with everyone he sees.

    Here’s some sad news – according to my local paper, Alexander Anderson Jr. passed away. The paper says that he iscredited with creating Rocky and Bullwinkle. Jay Ward ran the business side while Anderson handled the artistic and creative work. I didn’t know that – I’d only ever heard of Jay Ward.

  377. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    October 24th, 2010 at 11:53 am [Reply]

    per-vect. /facepalm.

  378. Chyron HR
    October 24th, 2010 at 12:01 pm [Reply]

    @JD Rhoades (#369): You hang out with the store owner or salespeople and talk books. It’s easy and natural to do…after all, they’re probably book lovers, too.

    “Too”? The only books Les loves are “Falling Star”, by Les Moore, and “My Wife is the Only Woman in the World Who Ever Died of Breast Cancer”, by Les Moore.

  379. JD Rhoades
    October 24th, 2010 at 12:19 pm [Reply]

    @Chyron HR (#378):

    I hate Les SO MUCH!!!!!!!!!!!!

  380. mollificent
    October 24th, 2010 at 12:25 pm [Reply]

    @TheDiva (#353): re: Frazz: Haha, YES!! I think one of the reasons I love Frazz is that the strip often has Pterry-like flashes of deep insight about the foibles of human nature. :)

    Six Chix also made me think of Pterry, actually…if they’d had anything like online dating on the Disc, Magrat would have been SO there. *grin*

  381. mollificent
    October 24th, 2010 at 12:38 pm [Reply]

    Pluggers and health code violations: Not sure if I’ve mentioned this before, but I stopped at Wing Dome in Seattle once because I desperately needed to use the facilities. Walked into the bathroom and just went, “URGH.” Talk about unspeakable filth…maybe it was just a one-off situation or they were understaffed, but I was disgusted. Pluggers indeed. *ewwww*

    Glad to have you back, Dingo! Your trip sounds heavenly. One of the results of my two recent road trips was a desire to take some time and drive around the country, check out some of the beautiful spots I’ve never seen. :)

  382. Buck Ripsnort
    October 24th, 2010 at 12:51 pm [Reply]

    Plug: So what ARE Plugger restaurants measured in? Botulism scares? Coronary events?

    Brewster: Realist Engineer: The glass is twice as large as necessary.

  383. Baka Gaijin
    October 24th, 2010 at 12:55 pm [Reply]

    @Buck Ripsnort (#382): Plugger restaurants are rated in shovels based on the total quantity of food per meal unit cost. To wit: Golden Corral, all you can eat, 5 shovels. Au Bon Pain, expensive small food, ½ shovel.

  384. Uncle Lumpy
    October 24th, 2010 at 12:59 pm [Reply]

    @Buck Ripsnort (#382):

    Brewster: Social Engineer: There is not enough water!

  385. ArchieNemesis
    October 24th, 2010 at 1:40 pm [Reply]

    This thread is about to end, so I’m going to confess something disturbing here: My wife occasionally says “Ack!” and waves her hands about, just like Cathy used to. This noise usually accompanies an awkward or clumsy moment. My wife does not read the comics and as far as I know is completely unaware of Cathy. My wife has many, many fine qualities but I always cringe when she says, “Ack!”

  386. bats :[
    October 24th, 2010 at 1:56 pm [Reply]

    @Dingo, the Essence of Purity and Virtue Incarnate™ (#360): Damn, Dingo — you rock so hard, it hurts (but in a good way!). Sounds like you all had a fun road trip.

    @queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#361): re PV: hot Neanderthal on gnome action just might be the rationale behind Rusty Trail…

    @queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#365): re: failbats…whoa, seriously WTF? Even I don’t think *I’d* carry that around.
    And speaking of fail…

  387. wossname
    October 24th, 2010 at 1:59 pm [Reply]

    @ArchieNemesis (#385): That reminds me – yesterday I saw a car with one of those three-letter oval stickers. It said ACK. I’ve been trying to think of a place that would use those initials, desperately hoping that it wasn’t a Cathy reference. Uh…. Apple City, Kansas? Acworth, Kentucky? Please tell me nobody liked Cathy that much.

  388. Steve the Pocket
    October 24th, 2010 at 2:00 pm [Reply]

    Beetle Bailey: Greg Walker describes a typical day at work.

    Crock: You know the old chestnut about being unable to believe your parents ever had sex? Yeah. I think in their case it was a bird.

    Edison Lee: About a decade too late for this one, Eddie. All my bug-you-several-times-a-day updates are free.

    Crankshaft: About a half-century too late for this one, Tom. Well, at least most of your readers are statistically old enough to get the joke. (And the rest of us have read XKCD.)

    Family Circus: I’m pretty sure the second and third are also signs of being a pedophile. And the first one is a repeat.

    Hi and Lois: Hi’s singing is so bad, it turns the other patrons blue and green.

    Luann: Do me a favor, Greg. Don’t ever use the word “nappie” in your comic again or I shall be forced to hurt you.

    Mother Goose and Grimm: What are you doing hanging out around kids anyway? That you don’t plan to eat, I mean.

    Pluggers: “Plugger restaurants aren’t rated in stars. They’re rated in… um… eh, does it have to be a real joke? These losers just love being talked about. I guess I’ll call it a day.”

    Popeye: So it’s like the opposite of heart attacks?

  389. Steve the Pocket
    October 24th, 2010 at 2:04 pm [Reply]

    @wossname (#387): What are those stickers about, anyway? The first time I saw one, it had the letters “GWB” which, it being 2004, I figured was in support of our incumbent President. They’re supposed to be the initials of places, you say?

  390. Baka Gaijin
    October 24th, 2010 at 2:18 pm [Reply]

    @Steve the Pocket (#389): Originally the stickers were the official abbreviation of the country of a European car’s registered origin. The police could easily see who to shake down was foreign and had to go through immigrations or customs when they crossed country lines. With the EU/EC as it is, unless you’re driving to England or Switzerland, there are no stops. Also you can buy license plates with the country abbreviation printed on it, negating the need for the sticker.

    About 10 years ago, snooty areas in the US started printing up their own. I remember seeing an “OBX” sticker and thinking, where the hell is that? Outer Banks, North Carolina as it turns out.

    This is as fine a way to kill a thread as any other, right?

  391. KT
    October 24th, 2010 at 2:22 pm [Reply]

  392. wossname
    October 24th, 2010 at 2:24 pm [Reply]

    @Baka Gaijin (#390): I’m happy to report that ACK is the official airport code for Nantucket Memorial, which I’m sure is a bustling aerodrome. We can only hope that’s what the sticker referred to.

  393. bats :[
    October 24th, 2010 at 2:28 pm [Reply]

    @JD Rhoades (#372): yes, I’m sure we’re going to have a Les Patented Whingefest because everyone coming into Montoni’s that afternoon wants pizza. The nerve! Those Philistines!

  394. KT
    October 24th, 2010 at 2:28 pm [Reply]

  395. Baka Gaijin
    October 24th, 2010 at 2:31 pm [Reply]

    @wossname (#392): Yeah, Nantucket seems like the kind of pretentious place to do this. Although it would knock them down a peg or two once they find out what that man has in his bucket.

  396. Ukulele Ike
    October 24th, 2010 at 2:46 pm [Reply]

    First saw ‘em One Summer in Maine. “MDI,” for Mount Desert Island.

    Although McCloskey was one peninsula over.

  397. commodorejohn
    October 24th, 2010 at 2:48 pm [Reply]

    Agnes – Did you just call dinosaurs un-pretty, Trout? I’m going to have to take exception to that. The Internet has acquainted me with a number of gorgeous…why are you all looking at me like that?

    A3G – Have you ever been in a multiple-party conversation where two or more of the other parties start using phrases you don’t understand, and you sit there wondering what they’re talking about until you realize that it’s an in-joke that you’re not in on, and the way they’re acting makes you think it’s something dirty? That’s what that “jam today!” last panel is like.


    Bizarro – Wow. The Internet has so corrupted me that I honestly didn’t see anything freaky about this panel.

    Crankshaft – …is that a joke? A moderately amusing joke? In a Batiuk strip? …did I wake up in a parallel universe this morning? If I check around, will I find out that My Cage is going to continue, while Momma has been unceremoniously dumped from every single paper in the world?

    Crock – I hate you, Crock. Go fossilize somewhere else.

    Curtis – I don’t think I’ve ever hated Barry more than I do right now. Die, you little shit.

    DT – I give up. I’m just going to go insane until this storyline is done.

    FC – Wow, who knew Daddy Keane was such a skeezy freak? I mean, besides us.

    FW – Odd. I thought that referencing This Is Spinal Tap in Funky Winkerbean would be a matter/antimatter sort of thing. I’m surprised the strip still exists. (And disappointed, but that goes without saying.)

    JP – Is it me, or is Sophie growing up into Samus Aran? Well, a sulky, twerpish Samus, anyway?

    Luann – Is this supposed to be one of those “OH THOSE TEENAGERS WILL THEY NEVER LEARN” bits? Because, uh, that’s pretty much my schedule right there. Some of us are just nocturnal, you know that?

    MW – If there was any doubt that Jill Black was supposed to be a transparent straw-critic stand-in for those of us in the making-fun-of-Mary Worth community, it’s just been blasted completely away. I love how Mary chews Jill/us out for being so heartless, as if Adrian was an actual, real person. …Moy does know Adrian’s not real, right? (Also, holy shit, Adrian is the voice of reason? Now I know I woke up on Bizarro World today.)

    MC – Wow, awww, wow, awww. Isn’t this just the nicest way to tie up two threads?

    OB – I love the visuals in this strip. I really do.

    PV – Awww.

    SF – I love this strip.

    SM – And now the Mole Man sinisterly offers to buy Aunt May dinner! Horrors!

  398. Ukulele Ike
    October 24th, 2010 at 2:48 pm [Reply]

    FW: I spent nearly 20 years in the book publishing biz, and I don’t even want to START on how much shit Batuik is getting wrong.

  399. Ukulele Ike
    October 24th, 2010 at 2:52 pm [Reply]

    …..given, I worked for an actual NY publisher in a mighty Manhattan skyscraper. Maybe Kent State University Press can pull strings I couldn’t.

  400. wossname
    October 24th, 2010 at 2:52 pm [Reply]

    @Baka Gaijin (#395): He didn’t have a bucket in the version I know… but he had some other fairly remarkable characteristics.

  401. Baka Gaijin
    October 24th, 2010 at 3:04 pm [Reply]

    @wossname (#400): I thought he kept the “fairly remarkable characteristics” in the bucket. How else would he get them around and keep the rhyme scheme?

    Woo hoo! We broke 400 posts!

  402. KarMann
    October 24th, 2010 at 3:13 pm [Reply]

    @queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#377): If it makes you feel better, when I saw “pre-VECT”, I just assumed you were combining the jokes of Peter Sellers & Robert Lynn Asprin.

  403. John C Fremont
    October 24th, 2010 at 3:14 pm [Reply]

    @wossname (#387): “I pierce you wis ze ACK ACK of love.”

    I looked it up. You were right. And a bargain at $4.49!

    (I so wanted it to be a Mars Attacks reference.)

  404. Jym
    October 24th, 2010 at 3:24 pm [Reply]

    =v= MT: That’s not a Jack Elrod ball, it’s a campaign button. Remember, we’ve seen the turncoat stepdaughter and the Senator wearing them during the last two strips. This one is probably Mark’s, tossed free from its flimsy pin as a side-effect of his exertions.

  405. wossname
    October 24th, 2010 at 3:27 pm [Reply]

    @Baka Gaijin (#401): Hmm, how to reply to this without interjecting unspeakable filth into this family-values site… In the version I know, there was no mention of where he kept it; the limerick described what he was able to do with it, and then he (the man from Nantucket) speculated about something else he could do with it if his ear were differently configured. Does that help?

  406. Poteet
    October 24th, 2010 at 3:30 pm [Reply]

    @Dingo, the Essence of Purity and Virtue Incarnate™ (#360): Yay, glad you had a chance to unwind and enjoy a little! And welcome back.

  407. Poteet
    October 24th, 2010 at 3:32 pm [Reply]

  408. zerowolf
    October 24th, 2010 at 3:33 pm [Reply]

    FC: “It’s apparent your a pedaphile when you spend Halloween crouching behind the shrubberies.”

  409. Baka Gaijin
    October 24th, 2010 at 3:35 pm [Reply]

    @wossname (#405): Hmm. No ears in mine, just a bucket.

  410. zerowolf
    October 24th, 2010 at 3:36 pm [Reply]

    I was going to write only Pluggers would get today’s Crankshaft, then I realized I got it. :::shudder:::

  411. Poteet
    October 24th, 2010 at 3:37 pm [Reply]

    @queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#361): Yep, I’m dismayed. I wanted to see these three guys find romance, not hope and imagine they’ll find it elsewhere. Oh well, it was fun while it lasted.

  412. KarMann
    October 24th, 2010 at 3:42 pm [Reply]

    @wossname (#405): “this family-values site….”
    As Milk & Cheese once said, “We’ve got your family values… right here!

  413. Poteet
    October 24th, 2010 at 3:42 pm [Reply]

    @wossname (#357): You’re right, and what I have to say is that I hope that costume provides a way for her to pee and poop in comfort. I’ll very reluctantly accept the bizarre premise that she’s so happy with the costume that she’s willing to look like a deformed lion for a week. But she IS supposed to be a dog, dangit.

  414. Poteet
    October 24th, 2010 at 3:46 pm [Reply]

    STONE SOUP — Is the idea that Gramma has made some yucky tuna dish that no one actually likes? If so, why??

  415. Connie
    October 24th, 2010 at 3:51 pm [Reply]

    Overheard outside Montoni’s: “What’s that sign say? ‘Meet Les Moore?’ Isn’t he that dork who works here part-time? Why the hell would I want to meet him?”

  416. Baka Gaijin
    October 24th, 2010 at 3:57 pm [Reply]

    @Poteet (#413): Poteet, Daisy is a dog. She’s only slightly more discriminate in her defecation times and places than Marvin. She’ll do fine.

  417. Miss Othmar
    October 24th, 2010 at 4:21 pm [Reply]

    @commodorejohn (#397): Jam today = immediate gratification. Said of something that cannot be; also jam tomorrow, a meaningless promise of better things to come. From Lewis Carroll’s Through the Looking-Glass (1872): ‘The rule is, jam tomorrow and jam yesterday – but never jam today’. The words parody what is said to children when denying them jam as a treat: ‘You can’t have jam today, you had it yesterday’ or ‘you can have it tomorrow’. The nonsensical point is that tomorrow always becomes today so that the ‘rule’ or promise is meaningless. In the original, the ‘rule’ is one of the conditions offered to Alice by the White Queen when discussing her employment as a ladies’ maid.

  418. Amateur
    October 24th, 2010 at 4:21 pm [Reply]

    @Baka Gaijin (#238): Re: S-M: You’re assuming that this storyline had any chance of being fun in the first place.

  419. Baka Gaijin
    October 24th, 2010 at 4:24 pm [Reply]

    @Amateur (#418): I can be hopeful, can’t I? I don’t live in Westview, Ohio, you know.

  420. This Guy
    October 24th, 2010 at 4:30 pm [Reply]

    @Baka Gaijin (#352): By “smoke,” do you mean tobacco smoke, or the smoke from smoking the meat? The latter is typically a good sign. A barbecue restaurant is properly measured by the quality of its food, not its ambience. The best barbecue joint in our county is far from upscale (though it does have regular napkins, not a roll of paper towels bolted to the table), but the barbecue is excellent. I do understand that outside of the Southeast, it can be difficult to find proper barbecue.

  421. Baka Gaijin
    October 24th, 2010 at 4:40 pm [Reply]

    @This Guy (#420): Smoking the meat, of course. I was at a place in Memphis where the smoke was so thick my eyes were watering the entire time I was inside. Good BBQ.

    You’re right about the anti-upscale. Some of the best BBQ joints seem to be former gas stations.

  422. commodorejohn
    October 24th, 2010 at 4:41 pm [Reply]

    @Miss Othmar (#417): Right, I remembered that not long after posting. But how does that explain Tommie’s sly grin (or what passes for one on Tommie’s face, anyway) and Aunt Iris’s demure expression?

  423. Austria
    October 24th, 2010 at 4:45 pm [Reply]

    @commodorejohn (#329): Ooh! Does this mean we can get rid of Zits? Zits is young enough, right?

  424. Uncle Lumpy
    October 24th, 2010 at 5:01 pm [Reply]

    @Baka Gaijin (#421):

    I started smoking meat this summer after tricking out my Weber® with a charcoal baffle and water pan, dual-temp remote thermometer, vernier caliper on the exhaust vent, and binder clips to keep the lid on tight. Fussy business, but good eatin’ once you get it right. Chicken is easiest, turkey most rewarding, salmon not worth it IMHO.

  425. commodorejohn
    October 24th, 2010 at 5:25 pm [Reply]

    @Austria (#423): Nope, sorry, strips about how awful teenagers are get a free pass into Legacy Comics Nirvana for all eternity. If they only somehow managed to work golf into the equation on a regular basis, it’d be the Platonic ideal of a legacy comic.

  426. Cyranetta
    October 24th, 2010 at 5:25 pm [Reply]

    FW: Although I long lost interest in the actual storyline I’m still perplexed at the inking. Is it only my paper, or do all Sunday printings of FW look like they’ve added Supersaturated Industrial Pollution to the inks?

  427. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    October 24th, 2010 at 5:28 pm [Reply]

    @Cyranetta (#426): I’m guessing that it’s a prime example of reduction = muddy. They are trying to use too many colors, and the result is a big muddle. jmho.

  428. Baka Gaijin
    October 24th, 2010 at 5:31 pm [Reply]

    @Uncle Lumpy (#424): The key question now is: Are you infested with Pluggers asking for extra napkins when you fire up the Weber? [*]

  429. Poteet
    October 24th, 2010 at 5:33 pm [Reply]

    @Baka Gaijin (#416): I shoulda been clearer that I was referring to adequate openings in the torso part of the costume. I’m a little familiar with the problem, since I have occasionally had to dress cats in Onesies for medical reasons. (They were not as happy as Daisy, I might add.)

  430. Uncle Lumpy
    October 24th, 2010 at 5:37 pm [Reply]

    @Cyranetta (#426): @queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#427):

    I dunno — I think it’s intentional. Sunday (but not daily) Funky Winkerbean looks like it’s been extruded through the Photoshop® Sepia Transform o’ Bleakness — a related thing happens to the Sunday My Cage, which sometimes looks like it’s been hit with the Gloss Me! filter.

  431. Baka Gaijin
    October 24th, 2010 at 5:38 pm [Reply]

    @Poteet (#429): Oh. Dressing cats in Onesies must be about as much fun as a lunch date with Mary Worth and Jill McMeany but without the whimsy.

  432. bats :[
    October 24th, 2010 at 6:10 pm [Reply]

    @commodorejohn (#397): re FC: it’s apparent I have too much time on my hands

  433. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    October 24th, 2010 at 6:10 pm [Reply]

    @Uncle Lumpy (#430): * * * The Secrets of The Gloss Me! Filter are a secret that has been passed down the Armstrong line for Generations! * * *

  434. Rusty
    October 24th, 2010 at 6:16 pm [Reply]

    @Uncle Lumpy (#430): He has been doing this for months on Sundays. I think he believes it lends some sort of weird reality tone to the comic, but it usually looks like it was dropped in a toilet and then dried in the sun. I remember doing this in elementary school, taking a copy of the Declaration of Independence, for instance, and dipping it in tea to “age” it.

  435. Uncle Lumpy
    October 24th, 2010 at 6:25 pm [Reply]

    @Rusty (#434):

    … taking a copy of the Declaration of Independence, for instance, and dipping it in tea to “age” it.

    Hey, no politics!

  436. Rusty
    October 24th, 2010 at 6:42 pm [Reply]

    @Uncle Lumpy (#435): I was 10 years old!

  437. bats :[
    October 24th, 2010 at 6:43 pm [Reply]

    Oh Slylock, where were you and your rubber properties information last month, when mr. bats :[ left a pair of his Crocs in a closed car on a 102 F day?
    (Anyone need a nearly new, size 7 pair of Crocs?)

  438. Little Guy
    October 24th, 2010 at 6:57 pm [Reply]

    PV: Ig and his underground menbeasts go off to meet the Dick Tracy Moon Men to terminate another WTF plotline into oblivion. Pru, you had ytour chance, and you’re too early for Don Draper.

    SFx: Once again, isn’t “Because he’s Doctor Fucking Weirdly!” an option?

    Baldo: Deserves to be cockpitted only for using “Wubba Wubba” and “Doris Day in tights” in the same panel, albeit a fictional one.

  439. Jack Parsons
    October 24th, 2010 at 7:00 pm [Reply]

    Here’s hoping for a repeat of the Rex-on-a-plague-ship plotline with Rex-in-a-town-with-infectious-prostate-cancer.

  440. True Fable
    October 24th, 2010 at 7:03 pm [Reply]

    RWO: GOAT!! Goat cart racing!

  441. Little Guy
    October 24th, 2010 at 7:04 pm [Reply]

    BR: Other versions:

    Funky Pessimist: “This glass has cancer!”

    Burber Pessimist: “This glass is half-full because of an inferior pig of a man.”

    Thorax Optimist: “Purple and twenty-seven.”

    Cathy (RIP) Pessimist: “This water will make me fat! AAACK!”

    Mark Trail Pessimist: “DON’T DRINK THIS WATER!” (punch)

    Peter Parker Pessimist: “This water is half-full, but I can’t tell Aunt May! She may be thirsty!”

  442. KarMann
    October 24th, 2010 at 7:04 pm [Reply]

    @Jack Parsons (#439): Rex is moving to Westview??

  443. Little Guy
    October 24th, 2010 at 7:07 pm [Reply]

    Peter Parker Pessimist: “This glass is half-full, but I can’t tell Aunt May! She may be thirsty!”

    Abbey Optimist: “This glass makes my breasts perky!”

  444. The Ridger
    October 24th, 2010 at 7:40 pm [Reply]

    @Miss Othmar (#417): It’s a parody of a Latin mnemonic: jam (or iam) and nunc both mean “now”, but nunc is used in the present tense and jam in past and future.

  445. Poteet
    October 24th, 2010 at 8:06 pm [Reply]

    @Baka Gaijin (#431): Actually, I should be fair to the cats by admitting that they put up with the process well, physically. Getting the onesies onto them wasn’t a struggle. It was the melancholy reproachful looks (as they tried to walk away in a dignified manner in spite of the blue and white stripes) that were hard to take. It didn’t help that they looked so cute.

    But from now on, I’ll be able to tell them “Hey, at least it’s not a lion costume!”

  446. KT
    October 24th, 2010 at 8:17 pm [Reply]

    @Poteet (#445):

    Speaking of pet costumes and the color blue, doesn’t Daisy look weird wearing that lion costume? I mean the way the tawny outfit emphasizes the fact that her fur is BLUE!

  447. carbunicle
    October 24th, 2010 at 8:32 pm [Reply]

    @JD Rhoades (#369): Thank you for reading FW, so I don’t have to!

  448. 150
    October 24th, 2010 at 8:49 pm [Reply]

    Oh Josh, your Pluggers commentary is the saddest thing I’ve ever read.

  449. Andrusi
    October 25th, 2010 at 8:43 am [Reply]

    Pluggers don’t watch The Outer Limits.

  450. Thomas B.
    October 25th, 2010 at 9:28 am [Reply]

    Mark had to punch Frank from behind, that is the only place where there was hair.

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