The Comics Curmudgeon

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Perhaps it’s some sort of decades-long elaborate Situationist prank

Beetle Bailey, 11/19/06

Beetle Bailey is totally divorced from anything actually happening in the U.S. military, as has been repeatedly noted by everybody ever. Today’s strip gives me an intriguing idea, though. What if the reason that Camp Swampy was so unlike the real army is that nobody there was actually in the army? It’s just a bunch of weirdos/re-enactors/lunatics wearing a mishmosh of army uniforms from different eras who have got a hold of some surplus army jeeps and are playing out a bizarre drama for their own inscrutable purposes. The missile in panel five indicates that the real army has finally wind of their little game, and has declared war upon them for impersonating the military and sullying its good name with their rampant incompetence and stupidity.

The General Halftrack piñata is panel seven is just about the greatest thing I’ve ever seen. Since all Beetle Bailey characters are incredibly cartoonish anyway, it’s difficult to portray something that’s supposed to be a stylized version of one of those characters in the strip, so it pretty much just looks like the general’s been lynched by his angry men.

Curtis, 11/19/06

When I first saw this strip without the top two supposedly disposable panels, I was pretty baffled by Gunk asking Curtis to “take me to a mailbox.” I mean, I know he’s from tiny Flyspeck Island and all, but surely he’s lived in the neighborhood long enough to know where the major landmarks are. Panel two reveals the real source of the so-called humor: Gunk is such a wacky crazy foreigner who doesn’t understand our ways to such an extent that he doesn’t even know what a mailbox looks like! Whoo! This, of course, is dumber than a sack of hammers, as is the Curtis convention of one character simply vanishing in the last panel as a reaction to another character’s outrageousness. Poor Gunk never will find that mailbox, but that’s OK, since his hand-drawn stamp won’t take his mail back to Flyspeck Island. God, I hate Gunk.

Mary Worth, 11/19/06

Oh, so they like each other now. How depressing.

This entry was posted on Monday, November 20, 2006 at 06:15 pm and is filed under Beetle Bailey, Curtis, Mary Worth.

190 responses to “Perhaps it’s some sort of decades-long elaborate Situationist prank”

saint ruby
November 20th, 2006 at 6:18 pm [Reply]

Maybe they can get matching outfits and fight crime. Excuse me, meddle in the lives of criminals. ‘Cause they’d pretty much break a hip trying to, say, keep someone from opening his VERY OWN METH LAB.
Uncle Lumpy
November 20th, 2006 at 6:20 pm [Reply]

Beetle Bailey: Very thoughtful of the effigist to leave the bat.
Maughta
November 20th, 2006 at 6:26 pm [Reply]

Wow, they’re both widowed advice givers? How could they possibly have more in common?!?
treedweller
November 20th, 2006 at 6:26 pm [Reply]

Whatever the reason Kamp Swampee is so . . . out of touch, it’s clear why Halftrack is assigned there. How do you get to be a general when random noises make you jump in fear like a teenage girl at a slasher flick? Was his father head of the CIA or something?
galfriday
November 20th, 2006 at 6:27 pm [Reply]

BB: Yet “Beetle Bailey” is actually using current slang in “Same old, same old.” Amazing.
Proteus
November 20th, 2006 at 6:27 pm [Reply]

Two biddies with platitudes. One tells you age is an issue of mind over matter, which I guess means that with enough will-power you can face old age. The other one tells you if you don’t mind it doesn’t matter, which I’m taking to mean “Party Freaking On, Dude!”

This year, Charterstone has a choice. This year vote for change. This year, vote No on Mary Worth.

(Paid for by Ellabethebitchnow.com)
The Curmudgeon
November 20th, 2006 at 6:27 pm [Reply]

Is Ella older than Mary? Clearly Mary thinks that Ella thinks so. But Mary knows the sad truth and so do we: Ella may be about to turn 91, but Mary’s much older. And I think Ella knows it too. This friendship will be short-lived for so many reasons….
Pantsman
November 20th, 2006 at 6:30 pm [Reply]

Isn’t Curtis’ normal reaction to Gunk’s “wacky” antics to launch himself backwards in the air so that only his sneakers are visible? Maybe his reaction was so strong this time that he launched himself right out of the comic. I’ll look for him over in “Hi & Lois”. (He’d be easy to spot as the only black person to ever appear there.)

I share in your hatred of Gunk. I’ve just launched myself backwards out of the room in order to avoid looking at those creepy vertical eyes of his.
Chupper
November 20th, 2006 at 6:30 pm [Reply]

Beetle must have major masochistic tendencies if he stays in the army reenactment camp while enduring constant beatings, with no system of punishment for going AWOL. Sarge just sticks around because he’s a sadist. Do they reenact “don’t ask/don’t tell” policies when Sarge pours hot wax over Beetle’s naked, bruised torso?
gump worsley
November 20th, 2006 at 6:30 pm [Reply]

“As you’ve heard, I give advice.”

The list of Sentences Never Uttered Anywhere But In Mary Worth just keeps getting longer and longer.
Ketil Flatnose
November 20th, 2006 at 6:31 pm [Reply]

Hah! This friendly chat is nothing more than profound dissimulation. They are hungry, angry and yet coldly calculating as they test each other’s weaknesses. “I must become my enemy to understand her” and all of that.

Besides, this is Mary Worth and while the story arcs may not be as geological in temporal pace as say Mark Trail (although some of the iterative dialog technique smells familiar), the initial meeting must sloooowwwwwly unfold. Slow like the patina on a penny, the sort of penny that is the price of their wisdom and “advice.”
jules
November 20th, 2006 at 6:31 pm [Reply]

Didn’t Ella steal that last quote from Satchel Paige? On Satch’s behalf, I am offended. Partly because she delivered the line with a finger extended like she was annexing the Sudetenland, and partly because I love Satch and Ella isn’t allowed to talk about him, period.
Gabe
November 20th, 2006 at 6:34 pm [Reply]

#6: Blah on you. I’m with Mary Worth!

(I’ll love someone forever if they’ll make me a “Biddy War: I’m With Mary Worth” banner…)
AndrewBA
November 20th, 2006 at 6:35 pm [Reply]

What I hate most about foreigners like Gunk is the shifty way their eyes float around on their faces. Why, sometimes (panel 7) the eyes end up divested of all eye-accessories (lashes, lids), and stacked vertically atop one another just above their nose! Eeew!

Give me good old horizontal American eyes anyday.
Dub Not Dubya
November 20th, 2006 at 6:35 pm [Reply]

Ella is trying to imitate finger quotin’ Margo in the last panel, but her arthritis is so bad that she can only lift one finger. Also, she looks like what a pre-makeover Raju would look like in about 60 years.
gleeb
November 20th, 2006 at 6:38 pm [Reply]

But Gunk mails the letter! Panel 5!
AppleGirl
November 20th, 2006 at 6:39 pm [Reply]

MW – The Ella and Mary Have a Chat storyline is exactly how I remember the hated Mary Worth when I was a kid. They didn’t need to end AldoMania so abruptly to move onto THIS endless piece of crap.

N – Have I mentioned lately that I love Aunt Fritzi? The cutest comic character ever. She’s just adorable! Hooray, we have a flapper strip again!
galfriday
November 20th, 2006 at 6:39 pm [Reply]

There are a lot of gesticulating ladies today to add to finger pointin’ Ella: Celeste in Judge Parker and Tess in Dick Tracy . . .
Steve S
November 20th, 2006 at 6:45 pm [Reply]

Camp Swampy is so backwards that the missile explodes in panel 1 before it makes the “descending bomb” noise in panel 2.

Regarding Curtis: I defy you to show me one person in the entire world who knows the word “mailbox” and yet doesn’t have any idea what one is. Seriously, the word explains itself pretty damn well.
Laura c
November 20th, 2006 at 6:46 pm [Reply]

Based on the first panel, I’d say that Mary really wants to break down and tell Ella how “trying” these last few months have been. But somewhere back in her late 19th century childhood her mother or grandmother must have told her, “Never talk about yourself. Ask your date what he is interested in!” Thus the question in panel two. Possibly there is a connection between of lifetime of selfless non-conversation hogging and constant meddling to attract attention to herself.
My God, I’m psychoanalyzing Mary Worth.
johnw
November 20th, 2006 at 6:46 pm [Reply]

“I’m not sure what to tell you about myself, Mary. After my husband died, I lost every shred of my identity.” Yeesh.

And if Ella and Mary are now buddies, Mary will have to find a pretext for removing the poisoned “casserole” from wherever Ella has put it.
AppleGirl
November 20th, 2006 at 6:48 pm [Reply]

MW – In panel 3, I can even SMELL the old lady apartment odor.
Raznor
November 20th, 2006 at 6:48 pm [Reply]

Mary’s niceties are a clever ploy. She’s saying “Age is a matter of mind over matter” but her evil smile indicates she’s thinking, “now no one will suspect that I’ve poisoned the tuna casserole. They’ll think it’s just another old woman suffering from cardiac arrest.” I look forward to two weeks of Mary alone in her apartment, wringing her hands menacingly.

And while on the subject, let’s not rule out that Mary may have been tampering with Aldo’s brakes . . .
Bill Peschel
November 20th, 2006 at 6:50 pm [Reply]

First, doesn’t Mary look a little too happy about being a widow. “Oh, my life has been a bed of roses, without that dam thorn, since my husband died.”

And I wish I had the madz Fotoshop skilz to work over those last two panels:

Mary: “Well, I’ve heard: ‘You’re only as young.”

Ella: “As the woman you feel!”
aldos
November 20th, 2006 at 6:50 pm [Reply]

MW, Panel 4:

Ella: My husband’s dead!
Mary Worth (with a huge smile): Me too!
Decker
November 20th, 2006 at 6:54 pm [Reply]

“It seems we have more than one trait in common, Ella!”

“Really? I’m quite sure I never ensnared a drunken, hapless stalker in my web of love and deceit, only to leave him shattered on the rocks below Charterstone like a discarded empty. Bitch.”
Jessied
November 20th, 2006 at 6:54 pm [Reply]

Ella is obviously some parallel-universe version of Mary. This is either a diplomatic visit, or the preliminary stages for a dimensional takeover.
Splinky
November 20th, 2006 at 6:55 pm [Reply]

I think a more interesting idea is that everybody in Beetle Bailey THINKS they’re in the Army, but in fact they’re part of some sort of sociological experiment without their knowledge. I’m starting to get the feeling that they’re building up to some kind of suprise “Lost” tie-in. Or, possible, Beetle is really an autistic nine year-old staring into a snowglobe.
trish
November 20th, 2006 at 6:56 pm [Reply]

i’ve got it!!!

ella is going to entice mary to try the ouija board. while they are meddling with forces unknown aldo will come back and inhabit mary’s body.

let the insane biddy hunting begin….
(or more horrifying thoughts of what aldo would do in his spare alone time with his new body)
cam_rock
November 20th, 2006 at 6:58 pm [Reply]

MW: “These past few months have been somewhat trying…since I guilt tripped my [shudder] lover over helping children in a third-world country, then sent a stalker (and possible murderer) plumetting to his drunken death.”

I’d love to hear Mary’s version of the Aldo debacle as told to Ella.

Oh, Aldo, why do the good die so young? AK4L
Splinky
November 20th, 2006 at 6:59 pm [Reply]

This is the problem with Mary Worth. She spends all this time building right up to the precipice of awesomeness. Then, suddenly, everything turns “nice” and we end up watching a slide show of my grandmother’s life. I can only hope that the next week will involve flashback stories about bootlegging, the Witness Relocation Program, and Nazi gold.
fahrenheit451
November 20th, 2006 at 7:00 pm [Reply]

Methinks there’s going to be a battle for the new Alphafemale of Charterstone.

I’ve got a sawbuck on Ella.
Kirbyoto
November 20th, 2006 at 7:00 pm [Reply]

I don’t know, Mary still looks pretty pissed in panel 2. Like a tiger, ready to summon her Unholy Black Aura of Furious Miffed-Ness.

It’d be funny if Beetle Bailey got canceled tomorrow so we could assume that the missile detonated and wiped the base off the map. I mean, it’d be funny anyways, but you know what I mean. That or post-apocalyptic Beetle Bailey. Or something, god dammit.
Joe D.
November 20th, 2006 at 7:01 pm [Reply]

It would be so much better if that effigy were on fire. And I think it would add a little excitement if Ella and Mary were on fire too.
Monkey's Paw
November 20th, 2006 at 7:04 pm [Reply]

Beetle Bailey is what life is like in the Canadian military. Second hand US tools, and none of them take the job too seriously because really, who’s going to attack Canada?
gg
November 20th, 2006 at 7:11 pm [Reply]

Man, Mary just looks so very happy that she’s a widow. It’s the best thing that’s happened to her in her entire life.

And what’s this crap about “I wanted to visit you sooner! These past few months have been somewhat trying!”? Didn’t Ella just move in a week or less ago, MW-time-wise? And I assume the “trying” refers to the death of Aldo, but she hasn’t even given a fleeting thought to him since that one power-walk when Toby mentioned him and Mary brushed the idea of him aside. She drove him to his death, went to his funeral, left some flowers, and then proceeded to leave all thoughts of him behind! No wonder Toby doesn’t understand how closure works. I thought it was somewhat naive of her to think that going to a funeral would instantly make her feel “closure” (a severely overused word these days) and be able to just forget that chapter of her life. Now I see where Toby got it from. Anyway, if Mary’s referring to Aldo’s death with her “trying” comment, she’s got a lot of nerve. Of course, knowing her, she might be referring to her fleeting concern that Dr. Jeff Cory might have abandoned her for the exciting life of an international traveller and palate surgeon.
jordan
November 20th, 2006 at 7:11 pm [Reply]

The rocket is obviously a V-2 rocket (as mentioned in Thomas Pynchon’s _Gravity’s Rainbow_)

V2 rockets traveled FASTER then the speed of sound so they hit their target before you heard the sound their decent (if you were alive to see it)

obviously, Beetle Baily actually takes place in the ZONE in germany and all the craziness is strait out of Pynchon’s magical realism.
cheech wizard
November 20th, 2006 at 7:12 pm [Reply]

MW, bottom left panel – Ella is clearly a dude. In fact, she’s the Amazing Kreskin in drag, which would explain her telepathic abilities. He’s come to Charterstone to live out his remaining years as the woman he’s always wanted to be, and steal small pieces of silver, china and knickknacks from his neighbors by levitating them into his purse when they’re not looking.
dramashoes
November 20th, 2006 at 7:13 pm [Reply]

A Plugger hard drive is what happens on a dirt road after a heavy rain. A Plugger iPod plays both eight tracks and Edison cylinders. When a Plugger makes beef jerky, he hangs the city folk from a meathook in the basement so he can mock their suffering. A Plugger vassectomy involves a doorknob, a piece of twine, and several shots of Jack Daniels. I’m really sorry, you guys, I just keep thinking of all this stupid bullshit and I don’t have anywhere else to say it.
Chet McCord, Wildlife Defender
November 20th, 2006 at 7:19 pm [Reply]

Imagine how much funnier Beetle Bailey would be without the last panel.
cheech wizard
November 20th, 2006 at 7:25 pm [Reply]

And speaking of telepathy, which behavior has a DT character overcome with guilt and fearful that their spouse will abandon them for it?

A – Inheriting $5 million from a rich relative
B – Using a mind-reading device on said spouse without warning or consent
C- Being “nice” to Uncle Peter often enough that he was inclined to leave you $5 million in the first place.
D -Bringing home a mind-reading device when it’s her feelings that really matter.
Harry Paratestes
November 20th, 2006 at 7:28 pm [Reply]

MW: You know what’s really depressing? Ella in panel 6 has a very strong resemblance to Woody Allen. I guess his daughter-wife divorced him, so now he’s reduced to running around in a tacky drag wardrobe that would make John Waters gag and trolling for GIHFs (Grannies I’d Hate to Fuck)!
Genevieve
November 20th, 2006 at 7:33 pm [Reply]

Mary Worth likes to tease readers too much. Here I am waiting for scalding tea to be tossed by the biddies and instead they are BFF. Come on Mary we know you have that ice bitch in you, bring it on!
Maybe she is playing nice once she heard the age of her neighbor. “She won’t be around for long.”
Von Zeppelin
November 20th, 2006 at 7:34 pm [Reply]

I question General Halftrack’s command judgment. He may be great at picking out ornate Louis XIV desks for his office, but getting situation reports from a guy mopping the floor? Whose name is “Private Zero”?

Halftrack hasn’t been the same man since that unfortunate head wound at Chateau Thierry. (Before that, he was known as Lieutenant Fullytrackedarmoredvehicle.) That’s why he’s been base commander at Camp Swampy for the past fifty years.
Mudman
November 20th, 2006 at 7:41 pm [Reply]

Judging by the head-shot in panel six, Ella is really Henry Kissinger. The bob-cut really suits him.
cheech wizard
November 20th, 2006 at 7:46 pm [Reply]

37 – That’s not a V-2 – the fins are in the wrong place. Actually, they look more like winglets, so I’d say it’s a cruise missile – in Mort Walker’s case, probably a 1960s-era Bomarc.
Islamorada Girl
November 20th, 2006 at 7:49 pm [Reply]

Beetle Bailey! They’re boot camp reenactors! Finally, I get it!
They don’t do the Civil War, they do boot camp! How crusty is that?
Chromium
November 20th, 2006 at 8:00 pm [Reply]

I love the Halftrack effigy too. I was so confused when I saw it yesterday. For a minute I thought the joke was that Zero had returned from his investigations to find the general beaten and hanged.

Does anyone else think that in today’s Beetle Bailey it looks like Beetle is trying to swat away a tiny floating Sarge?
Plinko Commie
November 20th, 2006 at 8:01 pm [Reply]

FBOFW: Apparently Lizardbreath works for Fox News.
johncomic
November 20th, 2006 at 8:04 pm [Reply]

33: “…post-apocalyptic Beetle Bailey…”

My mind absolutely, frickin boggles! :D
Ubiq
November 20th, 2006 at 8:04 pm [Reply]

The fact that Curtis spontaneously combusted due to the sheer awfulness of the punchline will not impair Gunk’s ability to find a mailbox as he already did so halfway through the comic.

So you might want to alter that comment a nudge there.
Baby Dâ€™oh
November 20th, 2006 at 8:16 pm [Reply]

Re: #40

Imagine how much funnier Beetle Bailey would be without existing.
Baby Dâ€™oh
November 20th, 2006 at 8:17 pm [Reply]

Actually, General Halftrack IS a piÃ±ata. Ergo, that thing in the penultimate panel is a General Halftrack piÃ±ata piÃ±ata.
John C Fremont
November 20th, 2006 at 8:20 pm [Reply]

#17 – I had not even bothered reading Nancy for years and years and years, with my main memory of the strip being distorted by Mad Magazine. Now I find out that her Aunt Fritzi is actually, well, cool, and knows from Rod Argent AND the June Taylor Dancers. Now I have yet another comic I have to read each day. Thanks – I guess…
futureBBcartoonist
November 20th, 2006 at 8:26 pm [Reply]

How did you KNOW? You’ve found out my family’s secret! Camp Swampy never had anything to do with the army!

ps- #19- “Camp Swampy is so backwards that the missile explodes in panel 1 before it makes the â€œdescending bombâ€ noise in panel 2.”

That ‘descending bomb’ noise is actually the squeal Beetle makes when being pumled.
Mikel
November 20th, 2006 at 8:27 pm [Reply]

Mary Worth and Ella Byrd have gone from angry to amorous. If they keep this up, I may vomit.
Cranky
November 20th, 2006 at 8:27 pm [Reply]

I, too, am saddened that it looks unlikely BiddyTwo (TM) will be added to the mounting body count of Mary Worth. Although in the penultimate panel Mary looks like she’s putting an arm-around-the-back move on the new girl, the very idea of which will likely give a fatal heart attack to Mary’s ninety year old nemesis. Hell, it might take out a few readers, too.
ice weasel
November 20th, 2006 at 8:31 pm [Reply]

I don’t know anything about Curtis but are we really supposed to believe that the Gump…errr…Gunk character doesn’t know what a mailbox looks like but does know that mail needs stamps but doesn’t know that he’s not allowed to them on the envelope?

My head hurts.
lynxita
November 20th, 2006 at 8:37 pm [Reply]

Gunk’s eyes really creep me out. They’re normal, side-by-side eyes most of the time, but they occasionally go into peculiar one-on-top-of-the-other mode for no apparent reason . The obvious explanation is that “Flyspeck Island” is a code word for Jupiter. Gunk being an alien also explains why his head is shaped like an onion.
ChristianPinko
November 20th, 2006 at 8:41 pm [Reply]

Things that make Liz’s lips sexy:

1) Granthony’s lust for her

2) Her hatred for Howard.

Discuss.
NoLifeMcGee
November 20th, 2006 at 8:42 pm [Reply]

#10

MW: “As you’ve heard, I give advice.”

Getting to the question of why this statement would never be uttered in the real world is fascinating. To say something this idiotic, one would have to presume: a) that being an advice-giver would be such important news to the surrounding populace that the fact that you yourself are an advice-giver would be widely known, and b) that giving advice is something that anyone on Earth would consider a trait worth mentioning in an introduction (”As you’ve heard, I tie shoes.”)

By the way, longtime reader, first-time poster.
Canuckguy
November 20th, 2006 at 8:51 pm [Reply]

#4 – are you insinuating that Gen. Halftrack is actually a Bush? While it may make sense on the surface, at least W got *out* of service. Maybe he saw the fate that befell his half-brother Halftrack and asked Daddy for a way to get out of the service?
Blissful Ignoramus
November 20th, 2006 at 8:52 pm [Reply]

Keep in mind that Ella has not yet revealed to Mary that she’s got the shinin’. They’re getting along fine now, but in the professional meddling field, use of the black arts is the equivalent of using steroids in professional sports.
Magnolia
November 20th, 2006 at 9:10 pm [Reply]

It may APPEAR that they like each other, but Mary knows to keep her friends close, and her enemies closer.

Come to think of it, Mary would make an awesome Godfather. She already looks like Marlon Brando sans mustache anyway.
Doug Puthoff
November 20th, 2006 at 9:10 pm [Reply]

Beetle Bailey: Don’t you know this strip actually takes place in post-apocalyptic future–oops, that’s “B.C.” Camp Swampy is actually hell. Beetle and Halftrack are souls who wound up there. Sarge is a demon, and Zero, supposedly an idiot, is actually Satan.
Horse_With_No_Name
November 20th, 2006 at 9:11 pm [Reply]

Today’s Beetle Bailey cartoon has been sponsored by the 2008 Presidential Campaign of John Kerry. (Co-sponsored by Charlie Rangel (D-NY)
Doug Puthoff
November 20th, 2006 at 9:18 pm [Reply]

11-20 Curtis: No sign of Oogie. Maybe Billingsley reconsidered and thought swiping from Bill Watterson was not a good ideal.

Fox Trot: Jason is not as bright as people think he is. If here were, he’d want a PS3 instead of a Wii.

Baby Blues: I hope information about Butcherball can be found on the Internet. It sounds like a cool game. Maybe American families can start playing it on Thanksgiving.

Sally Forth: There was also a Smurf Christmas special, which just freaking blew my mind, since I never would have thought Jesus existed in the Smurf Universe–not to mention the fact that the Smurfs were stinking Commies.
Blueline
November 20th, 2006 at 9:20 pm [Reply]

Well damn, if Marry and Ella become friends, MW will be as boring as the pre-Aldo days.

I can dream that we’ll find Ella is Aldo’s mother, here to avenge her son’s death by meddling, though.
san antone rose
November 20th, 2006 at 9:38 pm [Reply]

What’s with Gunk’s eyes? Is he part flounder?
yggdrasil
November 20th, 2006 at 9:53 pm [Reply]

I had to take a couple of extra looks at that Gen. Halftrack to figure out what was going on. I’d love to know how the Walkers would draw the for-real General’s necktie party. The same, I’d imagine, but with x’s for eyes, and maybe with a sticky-outy tongue.
Squawk
November 20th, 2006 at 10:13 pm [Reply]

Isolated from the rest of the pointless strip, there’s a certain morbid genius in the penultimate panel of Beetle Bailey. It should be hanging in the Guggenheim.
Elizabeth J. Anderson
November 20th, 2006 at 10:23 pm [Reply]

“Can’t say we both share a birth year, though!”

*no comment, just a gaze of pure steely hatred directed at Mary Worth’s – dare we call them – “writers”*
Ben
November 20th, 2006 at 10:23 pm [Reply]

“As you’ve heard, I give advice”
(beat)
“And really good head.”
Wah-wah guitar starts up.
Frank Drackman
November 20th, 2006 at 10:24 pm [Reply]

Beetle Baily would be %1000 better if it was just Miss Buxley and Beatles GF havin hot lesbian sex all the time.
markered
November 20th, 2006 at 10:30 pm [Reply]

THEORY: Ella is somehow related to the late Aldo Kelrast and has come to Charterstone to exact revenge on Mary Worth.
Splinky
November 20th, 2006 at 10:30 pm [Reply]

#71 – I’m inclined to agree with you, Squawk. Although to really be art, they would need to do away with the little straws that indicate he’s an effigy and instead show that his feet were kicking.
apostate
November 20th, 2006 at 10:35 pm [Reply]

In today’s Diesel Sweeties, Clango calls Maura a cheating bipedal tuna casserole. Am I crazy for thinking this is a veiled Mary Worth reference? The dialogue in DS doesn’t necessarily make a whole lot of sense at the best of times.

Incidentally, I’ve started parsing any instance of tuna casserole as an euphemism for Mary’s genitalia. This leads to all sorts of Naked Gun-esque jokes, but rather than “very hot and very wet”, the double entendres tend to be more along the lines of lukewarm, funky-smelling, dry as cardboard.
Nyssa23
November 20th, 2006 at 10:41 pm [Reply]

Well, after reading these comments I’m rather embarrassed to say that all I thought when I read Beetle Bailey was “Of course he’s swamped; it’s Camp Swampy.” *sigh*

Does anyone else think it’s weird that the writers’ signatures are directly over the bat? Even they hate the General.
Hokie
November 20th, 2006 at 10:46 pm [Reply]

First there was Brangelina, then Tomkat, now we have … Malla? Mary and Ella are an “item”?
Franklin
November 20th, 2006 at 10:51 pm [Reply]

If Ella has a pair of swans in her curio cupboard, I’m going to lose my shit.
Jennifer
November 20th, 2006 at 11:17 pm [Reply]

Sit back, children, ’cause I have another exciting Story From My Library Days to share (this is 21’s fault, by the way):

I was signing a lovely, elderly lady up for her library card at our brand-new branch and asked her name. She replied: “Mrs. John Smith.”

(me, internally:)
“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaahhhhh!!!!”

(me, aloud:)
“Uhm, no, I mean what is your first name…”

It took a little while to get this information out of her. This was in the 1990s. It broke my heart just a little bit.

I can only surmise that Mr. Smith had kept her locked in their house for the preceding 30+ years, and she was only recently freed by his demise to go out and get her own damn library card, if she could only remember her actual first name!

Mary and Ella’s world is not unlike Mrs. Smith’s. Only they have first names, so go, them!
The Bitter Wolf
November 20th, 2006 at 11:21 pm [Reply]

I was reading this book by Dave Gerrold about how he wrote the “Trouble with Tribbles” episode of Star Trek. (I know, I’m a nerd) This book was written some time in the late 60’s or early 70’s. But what was of interest to the curmudgeonly here is this quote: “Gene Rodenberry envisioned Star Trek as “Hornblower in Space,” the adventures of an interstellar Mary Worth, travelling from planet to planet, solving problems and exploring the universe…”

Mary Worth in Space. Think about that for a second.
Wirrrn
November 20th, 2006 at 11:37 pm [Reply]

CURTIS: Given the…unusal…placing of Gunk’s eyes, I’m thinking that Flyspeck Island is *so* tiny that Gunk’s Great-Great-Great-Grandfather is also his brother and his mother is also his sister. Perhaps “Take me to the mailbox” is Gunk-speak for “Please put a bullet between my hideous fish eyes before I commit more atrocities against Genetics”
Albatross
November 20th, 2006 at 11:45 pm [Reply]

Bitter Wolf: Mary Worth with the power to annihilate planets. Think about that!

Capt Worth: Sulu dear, set course for planet Ella in the Byrd nebula.

Mr. Spock: Captain, it is illogical to destroy another planet so soon after Aldo-IV.

Capt Worth: Doctor Cory, set your phaser on “kill.”

Ensign Cameron: No Captain!

Alien Horta “Cameron”: *HISS* No kill I!
DaveyK
November 20th, 2006 at 11:54 pm [Reply]

Don’t discount the possibility that Beetle Baily is a bunch of World War II soldiers that, for any number of reasons, were never informed that the war ended. Perhaps an elaborate sociology experiment?
Mr. Oâ€™Malley
November 21st, 2006 at 12:02 am [Reply]

Hagar the Horrible isn’t anything like the real Dark Ages, and The Wizard of Id isn’t anything like the Middle Ages, so why should Beetle Bailey be anything like the army?
Doug Puthoff
November 21st, 2006 at 12:05 am [Reply]

Gee, I learned a new word today: Situationist.
Alex Blase
November 21st, 2006 at 12:06 am [Reply]

The real question that this episode of Mary Worth brings up is why Ella moved into Charterstone at age 91. Like, doesn’t she have any friends or family? Hasn’t she found anyone in the 91 years she’s been alive so that she doesn’t have to meet someone like Mary Worth in what very well could be her last year of life?

This reminds me of that episode of Seinfeld where Jerry’s out on a first date with a woman and she mentions that it’s her birthday, and he spends the rest of the episode trying to figure out what’s wrong with her. Except that it’s Mary Worth, and the writer(s) do not have the social skills enough to create a consistent character.

On the subject of 10 and 61, another reason that would never be said is that people don’t want to be known as advice-givers. Even professional ones, like lawyers, psychiatrists, and advice columnists. They say “I practice law,” “I’m a therapist,” or “I write an advice column.” Saying that you are an “advice-giver” means that it’s most likely unsolicited, therefore very, very impolite. Also, advice is usually attached to a medium, like law, finance, health, books, or television. That medium is much more prestigious than giving advice. I think that we’ve analyzed that line much more than Ella Byrd did.
Poteet
November 21st, 2006 at 12:08 am [Reply]

#82 — Omigawd, Wolf. That SO explains Captain James T. Kirk.
jonnya
November 21st, 2006 at 12:21 am [Reply]

82- Strangely I posted my own Mary Worth/Star Trek cross-over several months back- http://acebonestudios.com/pages/marytrek.html.

I also posted a Mary Worth/Spiderman cross-over back when Aldo was first showing signs of becoming the stalker sensation that he went on to become. Ahhh Aldo. Memories. http://acebonestudios.com/pages/funny%20funnies.html
Miss Alexandra
November 21st, 2006 at 12:30 am [Reply]

Tut tut, Josh. Clearly, Ella is pointing out the crapstain on her door, that soaked through from her depends. Yes, those years added other things, indeed.
Poteet
November 21st, 2006 at 12:43 am [Reply]

11/21 –

MW — Oh boy, a shadow-puppet show! Much more fun than the damn casserole.

MT — And although he spent years in prison after being blindsided by Mark’s mighty fist, Snake’s galloping glaucoma was finally diagnosed and treated.

FW — I would vote for all the turkeys making a mass run at the human characters in today’s strip and trampling them to death before any more lame jokes can be committed. And then pooping on the bodies.

A3G — Don’t any of these people have families? And is Margo seeing a chiropractor? I bet her neck is SERIOUSLY out of alignment.

RMMD — And while you’re at it, June, x-ray that kid’s hair. I’m beginning to think it’s actually a very small coral reef.

JP — It doesn’t seem like Celeste is actually having much FUN being such a beeotch about this campaign. Perhaps she should have used her money to buy a cruise ticket instead. Or a bar.
Adam de Quebec
November 21st, 2006 at 12:59 am [Reply]

“If Only I Knew What A Mailbox Looked Like!” is definitely something I would wear on a shirt…especially if the last two words were italicised as they appear in “Curtis”…and especially since whenever I hear it in my mind I hear it in the confused, stilted and altogether unlike-the-speech-of-any-actual-human-ever intonation of a young William Shatner.
Key Lime Pie
November 21st, 2006 at 1:34 am [Reply]

Mary’s being set up for a fall.
Terryfic
November 21st, 2006 at 1:41 am [Reply]

Regarding Nancy, I found this to be an interesting read:

http://www.teachingcomics.org/syllabi/nancy.pdf
Donald The Anarchist
November 21st, 2006 at 1:42 am [Reply]

Advice Ella has given through the years.

Well, General Tojo, if you were to lunch a surprise attack on a poorly defended military base, I’m sure the US would realize the seriousness of the situation and unfreeze your assets right away. Problem solved.

Fidel, nothing succeeds like a strong gesture. There are some people in the Kremlin who would be happy to lend you some missiles, just long enough to get the Americans to back off, and I’m sure everything will go back to normal afterwards.

Mr Khomeni, I think that if some of your followers were to march right into that embassy and demand to speak with some diplomats, this whole issue could be resolved lickety-split!!

Ella Byrd, inadvertantly fucking up US foreign policy for decades…
Donald The Anarchist
November 21st, 2006 at 1:44 am [Reply]

Curtis I think Oogie and Gunk need to meet. They’re perfect for each other. No one believes Oogie exists, and no one can possibly believe anyone’s as stupid as Gunk…

It could start with Gunk mistaking Oogie for a mailbox…
Chibikasai
November 21st, 2006 at 1:47 am [Reply]

Longtime reader, first time poster…

#13, this is for you-

Biddy War banner

Because I love finding new ways to abuse my Photoshop powers.
Mr. Oâ€™Malley
November 21st, 2006 at 2:23 am [Reply]

I suggest that the “I’m with Mary Worth” design should be confined to bumper stickers and not used on T-shirts. I suspect that anyone who goes around wearing an “I’m with Mary Worth” T-shirt would find themselves alone most of the time.
Miss Alexandra
November 21st, 2006 at 2:35 am [Reply]

I’m pretty sure I coined the bitty war/battle term!
Mr. Oâ€™Malley
November 21st, 2006 at 3:17 am [Reply]

FC–No, Billy, the Pilgrims wore black and white because they believed colorful clothing was a mark of Satan. That sweater would have put you into the stocks.

MF–He works two weeks ahead and he doesn’t understand the concept of a calendar. I’m waiting for the War on Christmas to start around Jan. 5 of next year.

FW–So where would he have have stored 300 frozen turkeys?

Peanuts–Actually, “Pig-Pen” is a funny nickname. It doesn’t allow much room for character growth, though. So has anyone else in rock music besides the Grateful Dead’s original keyboard player been named after a comic strip character?

GA–I wish the Old Comics Home sequence had gone on this long. She’d better find the body while it’s still warm or the Social Security lady will get mad. If Walt has experienced a bodily assumption into the funny pages nut hut, it’s going to be hard to explain without founding a new religion.

BC–In this sequence of senseless babble, why oh why is “learn” underlined?
KitsuneWarlock
November 21st, 2006 at 3:30 am [Reply]

Mary sure does look happy in panel 4.

“Oh, my husband died too, leaving me to rot in this apartment with such an unstable income that I can only afford to eat platters of cat litter, allowing my ever growing psychosis to let my mind believe the crunchy bits are real food. More casserole?”
Von Zeppelin
November 21st, 2006 at 3:51 am [Reply]

96 Donald the Anarchist: Don’t forget these bits of classic advice: “President Johnson, all those Viet Cong need is a show of force. Put a few Marines ashore and they’ll head for the hills, I guarantee.”

“You really need to know what the Democrats are up to, President Nixon. Have you thought about tapping their phones? If anything goes wrong, you can always say you didn’t know about it.”

Few people know that she worked closely with the Defense Department Office of Special Plans in 2003, along with General Halftrack and Private Zero.
Aerin
November 21st, 2006 at 4:32 am [Reply]

#67 – Judging from the nerds I know who are frighteningly similar to Jason, I’d say he’s only going to buy the Wii in order to play the new Zelda, after which point he will forget that he even owns one.
Randy S
November 21st, 2006 at 4:46 am [Reply]

101:
I don’t know if you’re familiar with the legendary late 60s psychedelic band from L.A. known as Love, but they had a guitarist who called himself Snoopy.
TB Tabby
November 21st, 2006 at 4:51 am [Reply]

I think you’re on to something with the suggestion that these people are a bunch of crazies pretending to be in the army. Maybe it’s like that foreign film “King of Heearts,” except instead of an abandoned town, it’s set in an abandoned Army base. And somewhere on that base, a real soldier is trying to find and deactivate a bomb. I hope he fails.
Charlotte
November 21st, 2006 at 4:55 am [Reply]

It is a fairly rare occurrence that CC and the Diane Rehm show cover the same territory in a single day. Monday’s 2nd hour: Jonathan Moreno: “Mind Wars” (Dana Press).
Camp Swampy = government LSD test subjects stuck in perpetual flashback (part of the reason why it is dated AND why there only seem to be six members of the army – one of them being the cook!)
Dub Not Dubya
November 21st, 2006 at 5:04 am [Reply]

#90 jonnya: the link you posted to the MW/ST crossover didn’t work. I searched around a bit and found the right address:

http://www.acebonestudios.com/posters/MARYTREK!1.jpg

On edit: the URL gets split up for some reason, so clicking it won’t work–you’ll have to cut and paste it.

Anyway, as always, I love your work!

#98 Chibikasai: loved the banner, glad you delurked.
mat the cat
November 21st, 2006 at 5:08 am [Reply]

“As you’ve heard, I give advice” ? Who the heck gives that as a job description?

But, notice how thrilled Mary is to learn Ella is older than dirt. A funeral is always a great opportunity to give advice.
Mr. Oâ€™Malley
November 21st, 2006 at 6:02 am [Reply]

#105 Yes, I remember Love. They did an amazing version of My Little Red Book. My band in high school went to great trouble to learn their song 7 and 7 Is. What a cool song!

But I must admit I didn’t know that they had a guitarist named “Snoopy”.

It’s just incredible how much you can learn from the Internets!
Pinback65
November 21st, 2006 at 6:24 am [Reply]

Can anyone explain the first panel of today’s A3G? “Hi, I’m home, and I’ve got groceries!” “What in the world?” Why, exactly, would Tommie be shocked that LuAnn bought groceries? Does she think food just kind of appears in the refrigerator?
Zorba the Geek
November 21st, 2006 at 6:44 am [Reply]

FW: from the imminent death or disfigurement of Wally to live turkeys in the gym. If only the band director would pull an “Arthur Carlson” (WKRP in Cincinnati) and have those turkeys thrown out of a helicopter. “As God is my witness, I thought turkeys could fly!”
Mary Xmas
November 21st, 2006 at 7:09 am [Reply]

other shared Mary-Ella traits:

Ella and Mary both have four letters.

Both husbands were shot in the head on a Friday.

Mary could have a friend or relative who likes ELLA Fitzgerald. Ella is “merry” and her advice is “worth”-less.

Both husbands were succeeded by a Southerner named Johnson, 100 years apart.

Think about it. Also: PIZZA CRYPT!!!!
smacky
November 21st, 2006 at 7:21 am [Reply]

Dick Tracy: How ironic that a man that invented a device that can read minds stands around and talks to himself.
johncomic
November 21st, 2006 at 7:31 am [Reply]

54: However, Fritzi is not cool enough to know that Rod Argent was the keyboardist of the Zombies but Colin Blunstone was their vocalist…

[And yeah, I remembered that -- but I confess I looked it up at Allmusic.com to double-check my memory before posting here...]
smacky
November 21st, 2006 at 7:31 am [Reply]

MT: Either Snake’s shirt changed color, or Mark hit him so hard every capillary in his chest exploded! And is today the first time we have actual confirmation of who is who in this poaching pair? Mark hit Snake, and umâ€¦ Shake or Bake(?) is inside yelling!
smacky
November 21st, 2006 at 7:34 am [Reply]

MW:

Ella: “The years have added other things as well!”

I’m guessing it’s a penis. Didn’t someone make a Crying Game joke last week? They could be right!
ohyes
November 21st, 2006 at 8:05 am [Reply]

MT – Mark doesn’t even know he’s rescuing Kelly. He’s only come to solve the mystery of the multiple footprints. He did maybe hear Ranger Rick’s voice inside, but for all Mark knows, he’s finally stumbled upon the cruising grounds of a discreet men’s club, poachers welcome, in a secluded nook.

And then – Wow! Mark took on a guy who was armed with a rifle, with only his bare hands. And he hid so well, the guy walked right up to him! And he knocked the guy down, dropping his rifle, with one mighty roundhouse right, punch-uated with repartee! If only Mollly could have been there to see… Or Kelly…

But at least, they won’t see when Snake, firing wildly from the ground, shoots several rounds into Mark’s groin and thighs, and when Mark bleeds to death in his beloved Lost Forest.
jonnya
November 21st, 2006 at 8:10 am [Reply]

108- Thanks Dub Not Dubya, Here is the correct link for Mary Trek :
http://acebonestudios.com/pages/marytrek.html

and here is the correct link for Spider- Worth:
http://acebonestudios.com/images/Spiderworth.jpg

I guess I fubbed both of those links on my earier post. That’s OK- dealing with one’s shortcomings is just an “issue of mind over matter”. You can lose your mind and it just doesn’t matter.
AhClem
November 21st, 2006 at 8:17 am [Reply]

MT – For some reason, I’m reminded of the graphics on the old Batman TV series. BAM! SOCK! POW!
ohyes
November 21st, 2006 at 8:30 am [Reply]

MW – The door looms before Mary, the only way out. Ella says, “The years added other things as well.” She opens the door. “Such dear friends.”

Aldo fills the doorway.

He steps in, and Ella closes the door behind him.

“Hello, Mary.” Aldo says. He points to the nearby vase. “I left these roses for you. More than you left on my grave. Now I believe it’s … your turn.”
ltrftp(not so first time)
November 21st, 2006 at 8:34 am [Reply]

15 – Dub not Dubya, its keyboard cleaning time. Thanks for the laugh!

28 – Splinky, thanks for the memory fugue. Btw, was that theme/scene ever used more effectively than in St. Elsewhere?
Howard Erk
November 21st, 2006 at 8:35 am [Reply]

Erk’s testimony, “There I was, talking with the Patterson chick again. She was always throwing out double entendres. I always felt that I could talk a little rougher around her. I mean, that is how she talked. Then all of a sudden, this crazed mustached porn star jumps out from behind the manure and starts laying a titty twister on me like I have never seen before. Did it hurt. And was totally unprovoked. I think that he had been stalking Saint Liz for months. I think he wanted her to talk dirty to him. Whatever. I am being totally railroaded here.”
tpxDMD
November 21st, 2006 at 8:44 am [Reply]

54 (and heck anyone who reads Nancy at all) RUN LIKE HELL AWAY FROM THAT STRIP. RUN NOW!

Worse than Family Circus. Worse than Hagar the Horrible. Worse than anything on my comics page, and I CAN’T STOP READING IT. And to make matters worse, Brad and Guy Gilchrist live in my town. I cry myself to sleep every night.
psycotic_furby
November 21st, 2006 at 8:46 am [Reply]

Please, you think there was tuna in that tuna casserole?

Mary’s waiting for her (patent pending) mix of rohypnol and arsenic to kick in – either way, that bitch is going down, even if it takes a Republican senator, a pre-school and a whole lot of lobster.

Even if the old bag cajoles M.W into eating, she’s developed a resistance to Roofies after her time as ‘wife’ to a cadre of Hells’ Angels.
MossMoses
November 21st, 2006 at 8:48 am [Reply]

After his heroic defense of the saintly Patterson, perhaps we should now call him “Manthony”.
Archivalist
November 21st, 2006 at 8:53 am [Reply]

Perhaps this has been said already, but…

Mary looks a little too gleeful in Panel 4 during her widowly reminiscences. Psst, Mary: some crimes have no statute of limitations.

And as for Curtis, that’s the most racially insensitive thing I’ve seen in a long time. I’m calling Michael Richards for his opinion.
Drinky
November 21st, 2006 at 8:56 am [Reply]

Battle Axe 1: I’m an incorigable meddler.
Battle Axe 2: Me too!
Battle Axe 1: I stick my nose so far into other people’s shit that mushrooms grow in my sinuses.
Battle Axe 2: Me too!
Captain Insano
November 21st, 2006 at 9:11 am [Reply]

After seeings Granthony’s fighting skills in tooday’s FOOB:

My sincere hope is that in the movie version of FOOB (tentatively titled Fear Better, Fear Worse: The Chronicles of Granthony), Michael Dudikoff (of American Ninja fame) will play Granthony.

This way, Granthony can be a ninja AND a loser.

It’s win/win.
big_old_geek
November 21st, 2006 at 9:26 am [Reply]

11/21/06 Mark Trail punches yokel poacher #2 so hard he changes the color of his shirt from blue to red!

That’s Cletus blood on that thar shirt.
cheech wizard
November 21st, 2006 at 9:34 am [Reply]

101 – There is or was a Dutch band named Cheech Wizard, though I haven’t heard much of their music. I think they may have changed their name recently.
Ran
November 21st, 2006 at 9:37 am [Reply]

Beetle Bailey is about an abandoned Army Camp inhabited by ghosts who do not remember dieing in 1943. Instead, their days are filled with relentless ‘training’ in preparation for a fate long passed.

Their troop ship was torpedoed on its way to England and sunk in two minutes. Most of the men died so quickly that they were barely aware of what was happening.

Thats why the camp sometimes seems deserted, and why beetle, though beaten to an inch of his life, heals by the next day.

It all makes sense, and its very sad.
RJM
November 21st, 2006 at 9:50 am [Reply]

Gunk, the original Borat!

(and niether are that particularly funny)
JohnWadd
November 21st, 2006 at 9:52 am [Reply]

My house was filled with laughter at this morning’s FC joke about the pilgrims’ football uniforms.

Fortunately it was my six year old son’s.
Concerned Citizen
November 21st, 2006 at 9:58 am [Reply]

MW – This is just the calm before the storm. Ella’s ESP will force Mary to whip an intervention on her, since Mary bases her advice on throwing shit against the wall to see what sticks. Which is her way of preparing yummy tuna casseroles.

FW – A gym full of turkeys freezing to death is more comic gold, reminiscent of “I thought they could fly” in WKRP.

RMMD – Forget about the old bat fight, there’s a cat fight brewing between June and Momma Skank. Oh, please, please, please
rich
November 21st, 2006 at 10:04 am [Reply]

TDIET: I’m guessing that today’s strip is the one submitted by our fellow correspondent “Allison Sapphire”, which I alluded to a few days back (she had originally said it would run on 11/11 — must have meant 11/21)…it’s a good one. Allison Sapphire, are you out there?
pelagius
November 21st, 2006 at 10:06 am [Reply]

Curtis: I always assumed that “Flyspeck Island” Gunk was just a means for Billingsley to make fun of stupid, ugly white people. I mean, if the only black character in an otherwise whitebread strip was an inbred, retarded freak…
some guy
November 21st, 2006 at 10:09 am [Reply]

Foob: Let’s hope Lizzie gets cross-examined: “You can’t possibly be interested in Granthony, with that porn-stache, can you?” I mean, as long as she’s going to testify about knowing him since grade school, it’s all fair game in court now, right?

Apt 3G: “And by the way, Eric was dropping other hints, so we’re all going to be playing Twister after dinner. Here, I bought an econo-size jug of Wesson Oil in case we run out of turkey grease.”
Joe
November 21st, 2006 at 10:12 am [Reply]

Maybe Beetle Bailey’s friends in the army are all constructs of his tortured imagination. Like a really lame, poorly drawn Cabinet of Dr. Caligari.
SanctumSanctorumComix
November 21st, 2006 at 10:15 am [Reply]

Ok…
Take a look at Mary Worth’s FACE in the 1st two panels.
She’s her usual dour self.
The 2nd panel she has an almost intense curiosity to know if she’s going to “out-Mary’d” by the newcomer.

But, Good LORD! Look at her face in panel 4… as she GLOWS, RADIANTLY about the fact that, yes, she too is free of her husbands foul taint.

uh…wait… not THAT kind of …. get your minds outta the gutter.

;-)

Anyway…she’s a ghoul!

I hope that what they find they have in common is that they are BOTH vile Witches, are found out as such and are burnt at a stake in the courtyard.

Nothing against my Wiccan friends out there.
(Especially any hot, goth, lesbian wiccan friends out there. Just as long as they aren’t old hags like Ella & Mary.)

OK.
I’m gone.

~P~
P-TOR
Lyman Returns
November 21st, 2006 at 10:37 am [Reply]

Why is Curtis, of all comic strips, filled to the gills with deformed freaks? Is the town that Curtis lives in downwind from Three Mile Island? I mean, you’ve got Oogie, a green cyclopean gnome-creature; Gunk, whose eyes shift around his face like hands on a clock; Gunther the coneheaded barber; and assorted other guys like the two bullies and the dad whose appearances are not totally hideously misshapen like the aforementioned mutants, but just slightly enough off-kilter to make one queasy.

I tell you, between Curtis’s gallery of freaks, those melonheaded children in Family Circus, and the toeless, earless, dwarf that is Ziggy, the comics page lookes like a circus sideshow! I tell you, in my day it was different! We had normal-looking characters like Charlie Brown, Calvin, and Bill the Cat!
Liz
November 21st, 2006 at 10:48 am [Reply]

Do we actually know how Mary Worth’s husband died? First Mr. Worth, then Aldo… perhaps Ella has been sent there by T.P.T.B. to expose Mary as the Black Widow that she is.

Of course, once Mary is tucked away in prison, the strip will be re-named Ella NotWorth, Dr. Jeff will be Ella’s new boy toy, and the platitudes will flow for years to come. Although, I have to say that I happen to like my platitudes with a dash of dementia and just a smidge of cat lady.
Sheilagh
November 21st, 2006 at 10:53 am [Reply]

I’ve always thought Gunk was a heavy-handed vehicle for showing how Prejudice Is Wrong — you know, he “looks different” (those vertical eyes) and “his people” have all these weird customs. But of course we’re encouraged to treat him with Understanding, even though he’s too big a moron to poison that stupid chameleon. Right.

(Ever notice that Gunk is the only white person in all of Curtis? Both Boondocks and Jumpstart have a bit more diversity, including mixed marriages. But then, Curtis has just the same handful of recurring characters all the time…)
hogenmogen
November 21st, 2006 at 11:12 am [Reply]

MW: Panel 4 – “Me too!” Anne Coulter should take a look at this harpy widow. She’s a bit too happy about it. She should be saying “Yes, years ago the only good man to enter my life passed on, and ever since, I’ve been wandering this cold earth patiently waiting for the time when I shall enjoy the sweet solace of a lonely death that my readers constantly wish upon me.” Yes, that is what she should be saying.
Old Fogeyette
November 21st, 2006 at 11:15 am [Reply]

I must have some rare mental disorder. I seem to be able to focus obsessively on only one comic at a time. First, and for months, it was the comic strip Molly… I mean Mark Trail. (And by the way, I DO hope our lovable but stupid bear is okay, chained to her tree).

Now it is Gasoline Alley. I MUST know what happened to Walt. I kind of like Mr. O’Malley’s suggestion that Walt has been bodily taken into the Old Comics Home. Which, come to think of it, shouldn’t be too hard since he doesn’t have a real body.

Come to think of it again, I may not have a rare mental disorder at all. Just a short attention span.
hogenmogen
November 21st, 2006 at 11:17 am [Reply]

143 – Sheilagh – I always thought Gunk was the token stupid white guy, too. I, being a white guy, didn’t like it very much, but when you look at past decades of racial portrayals like Huggy Bear on Starsky & Hutch, I can’t complain too loudly. On the other hand, Huggy Bear never had to ask Starsky where the mailbox was. Even my friggin’ 2 year old daughter knows what the hell a mailbox is.
Pozzo
November 21st, 2006 at 11:23 am [Reply]

You know, in a comic strip of the 20s, Gunk (as an out-of-touch wacky native of a far-flung island) would have been portrayed as an extremely offensive (to modern sensibilities) ethnic stereotype, complete with bone neckace, spiky hair, and spear. I guess the creepy-eyed white boy is something of an advance, all things considered.
april glaspie
November 21st, 2006 at 11:32 am [Reply]

Take me to a mailbox. Al Green. Right?
rich
November 21st, 2006 at 11:35 am [Reply]

You’re not supposed to see Gunk as a dumb guy, but as a slightly fantastic being. He’s Mary Poppins, he’s Thorax from 9CL, he’s, um, Arnold the pig from Green Acres…it’s Billingsley employing the artistic genre of Magical Realism.
hogenmogen
November 21st, 2006 at 11:38 am [Reply]

40 – Chet said “Imagine how much funnier Beetle Bailey would be without the last panel.”

– or, replaced with Zero beating the stuffing out of the Halftrack manequin with the bat. That would have been hysterical.
klipper
November 21st, 2006 at 11:38 am [Reply]

Looks like Mark Trail’s hooking up with a little patented Right Hook of Justice today!
MaryAnnTheRest
November 21st, 2006 at 11:42 am [Reply]

136: Thanks to you and Allison. Imagine my horror when I identified with a TDIET! This has happened to me twice now! I began to fear that the third time I read a TDIET I agreed with, the maws of hell would open and I would drop. What a relief to know this TDIET was submitted by a Curmudgeon Cardinal! I can breathe freely again.
Proteus
November 21st, 2006 at 11:46 am [Reply]

“The years added other things as well.”

Ella is gesturing to a six foot tall invisible white rabbit. I can see it: why can’t Mary?
Cafangdra
November 21st, 2006 at 12:01 pm [Reply]

Gimme back my fork, you dork.
Cornwhacker
November 21st, 2006 at 12:09 pm [Reply]

#147, Pozzo:

You know, in a comic strip of the 20s, Gunk (as an out-of-touch wacky native of a far-flung island) would have been portrayed as an extremely offensive (to modern sensibilities) ethnic stereotype, complete with bone neckace, spiky hair, and spear.

The inversion of that very stereotype is what saves me from hating Gunk. Although, now that you brought it up, I want to see him throw a spear. I wonder how those vertical eyes would affect his depth perception.
migellito
November 21st, 2006 at 12:12 pm [Reply]

Curtis has become quite clear to me now. It’s polishing up to be one of the facets of H.P. Lovecraft’s Cthulhu Mythos. The little green being made me wonder, but now, after seeing the first signs of a developing Deep One in Gunk, I know for sure. The spawn of the Deep Ones and the island people often develop flounder-like eyes in their pre-pubescent years.

Nancy: I think I’d looked at this strip maybe twice in my existence, and then I’d seen the animated show on.. hbo? Why had I never seen Fritzi before? She isn’t drawn like anything else in the comic. In fact, the Fritzi-centric strip of the other day seemed to be from an entirely different comic, almost as though the newspaper had made a mistake. It’s like the artist is really bored and horny, so starts drawing incredibly hot women instead of pig-faced children.

Mary Worth: Now I know what the casserole is, and why she’s so happy her husband’s dead. She has a stockpile of ground husband in her freezer, and is gradually using it for special occasions. With sawdust for filler, of course.. you don’t want to run out of ground husband at an innopportune moment.
kingkong
November 21st, 2006 at 12:22 pm [Reply]

If sold, I will buy the Mary Worth bumper sticker!
Sigivald
November 21st, 2006 at 12:25 pm [Reply]

Gunk’s hand-drawn stamp has some chance of working.

You think USPS actually checks every envelope to see if that design in the corner is a real stamp, out of the thousands of designs used in even recent years?

Naw, they just glance at it and see if it looks vaguely plausible.

Gunk’s weird foreigner powers will doubtless let him fool the postal workers.
andreavis
November 21st, 2006 at 12:40 pm [Reply]

MT: First panel: Andy springs into action! Second panel: oooh, Mark administers a manly punch to Snake’s jaw, and I’m all tingly! Third panel: aww, they ruined it for me, with Mullet-Ake’s stupid dog question.

I’d really like to see Mullet get the crap beat outta him also, but since this is Mark Trail, I’m going to have to suffer through 2 more days of him wondering about the dog.
Bobdog
November 21st, 2006 at 12:42 pm [Reply]

MW – Based on the dialogue, I can only assume Ella isn’t showing Mary to the door, but rather is about to open the closet where she keeps her shrunken head collection.
Skullturf Q. Zonkerpants
November 21st, 2006 at 12:43 pm [Reply]

#101 and later comments — Does Snoop Dogg count?

Blondie (Deborah Harry et al.) probably doesn’t count; she presumably got the name from the common nickname for lighter-haired women and not especially from the comic strip of the same name.

I’ve heard that the cap worn by post-Bon-Scott AC/DC frontman Brian Johnson was inspired by Andy Capp, but that’s not a case of somebody taking a name from a cartoon character.

“Modest Mouse” sounds like it should be the name of a cartoon character, but it apparently comes from a line in something Virginia Woolf wrote.

There’s gotta be more. Dammit, now I’m gonna be thinking about this all day!
Skullturf Q. Zonkerpants
November 21st, 2006 at 12:46 pm [Reply]

But speaking of mice, Danger Mouse, who constitutes half of Gnarls Barkley, appears to be named after a character from an animated cartoon.
Skullturf Q. Zonkerpants
November 21st, 2006 at 12:48 pm [Reply]

Plus I guess there’s the Archies, but that’s kind of a cheat.
ohyes
November 21st, 2006 at 12:48 pm [Reply]

FOOB – As said above, Manthony just happening to be there is the weakest link in these allegations. If I may proceed, Your Honor?

“So, your boyfriend just happened – excuse me, your FORMER boyfriend, correct? – just happened to come by your workplace at that time?

And your former boyfriend came in and saw you with Howard?

Were you close to Howard at that time? Did you have your hand on his unit at that time? Well, where were your hands? And his hands were on your shoulders, you were face-to-face?

And then your former boyfriend appeared suddenly? And he struck my client and knocked him to the ground?

He is your FORMER boyfriend, correct?

Do you recognize the people in this photo? [evidence procedures] Yes, thank you, Ms. Patterson, that’s you, and your former boyfriend and his child. Do you recognize when this was taken? Yesterday? And this photo, – yesterday, three hours later, correct, still together?

He’s not your former boyfriend, he’s your boyfriend, isn’t he, Ms. Patterson? You’re going to marry him within one year, aren’t you?

So your fiance comes in, unexpectedly. He sees you toying with Howard. In a rage, he knocks Howard down. And you concoct this assault story to explain to him your embrace with Howard, don’t you? Or the two of you concoct this story to excuse your fiance’s anger and his criminal assault upon my client?

There is reasonable doubt here, ladies and gentlemen of the jury! These two young people are secretly planning to get married, and they fabricated this story to cover her dalliance or his criminal rage! Do not ruin a man’s name and life and send him to prison on this terrible slander. There is doubt, and you must acquit.

Nothing further.”

If only Kelly could have seen me. Or Fritzi.
Poteet
November 21st, 2006 at 1:08 pm [Reply]

#158 — Don’t count on it, Sigivald. I’d bet Gunk is SOL. I was informed not long ago by a postal worker that $5.50 worth of stamps were not acceptable because I had cut them from an envelope that I never mailed and glued them (very securely) to another envelope that I did want to mail.

When I asked the reason, I was told that the United States Post Office had developed this rule to solve the highly serious problem of people cutting unused stamps off non-profit-organization return envelopes and using them for mail not addressed to the non-profit organization. So, I was told, I’d just have to throw my $5.50 worth of unused stamps away.

I used to be very concerned about the Post Office and its troubles. But after several stupid unpleasant incidents, including this latest, I’ll easily manage to control my tears if the USPS goes under.
Old Fogeyette
November 21st, 2006 at 1:08 pm [Reply]

Masterful, Ohyes! (#164)

Alan Shore couldn’t have done it better.
ohyes
November 21st, 2006 at 1:12 pm [Reply]

Fogeyette saw me! Even better! Thank you.
Poteet
November 21st, 2006 at 1:14 pm [Reply]

FOOB — Fifth panel: “And just remembering how Anthony fought so hard to save me makes me want to boink him RIGHT NOW! Right here in this courtroom! And I want him to tenderly brush his moustache slowly and softly across my…oops, sorry, Your Honor.”

Sixth panel — The entire courtroom hurls in unison as if hit by a sudden epidemic of norovirus.
dimestore lipstick
November 21st, 2006 at 1:33 pm [Reply]

#8, Pantsman
That strange move Curtis makes is known as
â€œThe Givney Flipâ€ .

From a 1920s strip called “Jerry on the Job”.
margaret
November 21st, 2006 at 1:44 pm [Reply]

I’m willing to bet that the sudden platitude-spouting chumminess stems from wiley Granny Ella sloshing some Meyers Rum into that coffee.
Sheilagh
November 21st, 2006 at 1:52 pm [Reply]

Isn’t it weird how Mary TALKS about being an advice-giver? I mean, most nebby people just neb, without analyzing the behavior or labelling it or discussing it at a meta-level.

And how long has it BEEN, already? Can we hear about how Ella is psychic now? They’ve been fencing over the damn casserole for two weeks or something — we GET it! They’ve MET! NOW what?
Syd
November 21st, 2006 at 1:55 pm [Reply]

Ha.
Mary tries to cozy up to sugarmamma Ella, but Ella goes monkeyshit crazy, an age-weathered finger putting an abrupt end to Mary’s sultry advances!
genghis
November 21st, 2006 at 2:56 pm [Reply]

Gunk doesn’t know anything about civilization and his eyes suggest incestuous parentage. Is Flyspeck Island in West Virginia?

Mary, that randy girl, is putting the moves on Ella in the penultimate panel with her clever set-up and arm inching ever closer. Observe the dialogue from the final and post-final panels:
Ella: “…and if you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter!”
Mary: “I was hoping you’d say that!”
At which point the biddies begin tongue-polishing each other’s dentures.
Mary: “Mmm; why, I don’t mind this at all!”
dimestore lipstick
November 21st, 2006 at 3:21 pm [Reply]

The band Poco was originally called Pogo.

They got sued by Walt Kelly, and had to change it

If you count animation, the band names Evergreen Terrace and Fallout Boy come from the Simpsons.
Randy S
November 21st, 2006 at 3:30 pm [Reply]

Oh one more just came to me.
Adam Ant.
I realize the cartoon character was Atom Ant, but it’s close enough
jailbird
November 21st, 2006 at 4:58 pm [Reply]

The problem with Gunk is that he’s slowly morphing into a flounder. His eyes have already started the vertical gravitation and now his brain is shrinking to the size of a pea.
Key Lime Pie
November 21st, 2006 at 5:18 pm [Reply]

I’m telling you, Ella Byrd is Aldo’s mother. Observe the photo on the table of the second panel…This is where Ella is headed 11/21/06.

http://seattlepi.nwsource.com/fun/mary.asp?date=20061113
Deanbooth
November 21st, 2006 at 5:22 pm [Reply]

The straw makes it clear that the body of General Halftrack is an efigy. But I think the head is real.
Baron Von Foobenstein
November 21st, 2006 at 5:38 pm [Reply]

Gunk takes the role of the Nutty White Neighbor, a tradition dating back to the Black TV sitcoms of the 1970’s. I guess goofy white folks are a hoot in the urban culture.

Curtis’s cartoonist actually has two ways to drive home a madcap, whacky punchline. One way is as you see today — the other character vanishes. The other has the reacting character flipping over, bug eyed, tongue hanging out of his mouth, and smoke coming out of his ears, laughing not quite hard enough to induce cardiac arrest, but not by much.

So did “Gunk” ever “find” the “mailbox?”
NightRaven
November 21st, 2006 at 6:47 pm [Reply]

They did make “Mary Worth in Space”, but they called it “Star Trek – Voyager”!
Capt. Mary Janeway Worth in the title role….
Jim Walsh
November 21st, 2006 at 8:03 pm [Reply]

You know what I reeeeeeeaaaaaaly hate about Gunk? Every other word out of his piehole is about being from Flyspeck Island. OK, WE GET IT, YOU’RE FROM FLYSPECK GODDAMN ISLAND! JUST SHUT THE HELL UP ABOUT IT ALREADY! JUST! SHUT! UP!

(Jim pops another Paxil…)
Victor Von
November 21st, 2006 at 8:34 pm [Reply]

Mary looks so blissful in that fourth panel. “Ah… widowhood! Is anything as wonderful as a spouse’s demise?”
AppleGirl
November 22nd, 2006 at 1:11 am [Reply]

164 – Ohyes, you are awesome. I think you’d be a great lawyer. Come to Washington.
Mountain Mama
November 22nd, 2006 at 10:48 am [Reply]

Garsh, I don’t know nuthin’ about no siviliza….civiii…no fancy stuff…..but I know we gots indoor plumbin’ here in Wes’ Virginia. As far as that other word……you think we got funny eyes? That cause we’s all related? Shoot! I’ll have you know my parents are only fifth cousint!

So you take that back!
ohyes
November 22nd, 2006 at 11:31 am [Reply]

183 – Fritzi did see me! O Apple Girl! I’m so happy. I’d say more, but there was that thing about “getting a room…” Well, we’ve narrowed it down to a city…
Lord Haw Haw
November 22nd, 2006 at 12:52 pm [Reply]

This is a stretch, but…

The original logo for Shelter records was an upside down Superman ‘S’ on an egg. This led to some lawyerly nastiness and it was replaced with a hand-scrawled ‘S’ on an egg, also upside down if memory serves, and I wouldn’t bet my string of luxo roach motels on that.
King Folderol
November 23rd, 2006 at 10:57 pm [Reply]

That Beetle Bailey theory sorta mirrors my Lockhorns theory, so I naturally enjoy it. I’m disturbed by the fact that no one thinks the missile isn’t a sign of something gone terribly wrong, and not just an ordinary day at Camp Swampy. Having seen plenty of harrowing and realistic movies like Failsafe, War Games, etc, I’d probably be running for the bomb shelter, making sure to give Ms. Buxley a little pickle tickle before time ran out.

I think the joke in Panel 2 in Curtis has to do with the fact that no one under the age of 20 uses snail mail anymore. The Flyspeck Island bit has been trotted out in Curtis for the last 20 years and is incongruous with the top two panels.
Carly
November 22nd, 2007 at 1:09 am [Reply]

I have two grandmothers over 90. Neither of them looks that good, I’ll tell you what. Also, the “…get to know each other better” in the title panel makes this way more interesting.
Doodee
January 31st, 2008 at 10:38 am [Reply]

Thanks for sharing
Zach
March 2nd, 2008 at 7:25 pm [Reply]

That Curtis is so aggressively retarded that I still remember it distinctly 17 months after I first read it.

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Perhaps it’s some sort of decades-long elaborate Situationist prank

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