Oh, go ahead, ask, tell, whatever, see if I care
Beetle Bailey, 1/17/07
Wow, so I bet you never thought that the latest chapter of Beetle Bailey’s ongoing storyline about Beetle’s failure to bust a move on Miss Buxley would take a turn for the regulations-breaking same-sex affectionate. Anyone who reads this strip regularly has seen this coming for years, of course; I’m more surprised that Miss Buxley, who works on a military base and spends most of her time with earthy military types, is so shocked by cussing that she opens her eyes wide enough for us to see the irises for the first time, like, ever.
Garfield, 1/17/07
Now, look here: one of the defining features — some might say the defining feature — of Garfield is his compulsive eating problem; longtime Garfield readers know that if the fat cat ever did get his paws on a couple of chocolate chip cookies, his primary mission would be to cram them down his gullet with a minimum of chewing, not to festoon some whimsical snow sculpture with them. Well, if they had to violate a fundamental, long-established character trait, at least they did it in the service of a really great joke … oh, wait.
Dick Tracy, 1/17/07
A lot of you have marveled at Detective Tracy’s ability to get a hold of all of the United States’ intelligence agencies at once on his cell phone; I’m more concerned about his obvious joy in giving some terrifying Big Brother-esque mind-reading (and mind-erasing) device to every spook in town. Look for a wave of laws out of Congress setting mandatory sentences for thoughtcrimes. Thankfully, I have my tinfoil hat to protect me.
Hi and Lois, 1/17/07
Good God, but panel two is disturbing. I guess the cane is supposed to indicate that this freakish, gigantic baby-headed thing is an old lady rather than some kind of circus sideshow attraction, but it doesn’t really help.
Incidentally, I too would be upset if a sunbeam urinated on my carpet. And in panel one, it looks like Trixie’s doing some open-mouthed thought-ballooning. It’s almost as bad as a cat trying amplify the volume of its thoughts.
January 17th, 2007 at 10:23 am
MT- Meanwhile, over the hill is our sweet, sweet couple, Theodore and Castoria, trying to make their way in the world in the only way they know how. Did you see how they paused it their work to touch paws the other day? I got all misty.
It is all so tragic. They have never understood the hostility toward them.
January 17th, 2007 at 10:25 am
That’s a fly?
Meanwhile, 1/17 MT: Still no pants.
January 17th, 2007 at 10:25 am
I drop my cell phone every time I hold it like the people I am talking to are dirty. But oh, the tee shirt, “I have a machine. What do I do with it?”
and Beetle: unfortunately, that’s not really a word, it’s a comic symbol. Miss Buxley is thinking, “This guy is truly an idiot. Why do I keep forgetting that?”
January 17th, 2007 at 10:26 am
A3G: Given that Tommy’s room is right next to Luann’s, I’m sure she’s well aware of Luann’s skill at “taking care of herself.”
January 17th, 2007 at 10:26 am
Hey, first post! I just want to know why is Miss Buxley implying there’s a thing going on with Beetle and the sarge.
Meeeeee annnnnnd Sargent , Sargent Snorkel! Sargent Snorkel, Sargent Snorkel We got a thinnnnng goin’ onnn
January 17th, 2007 at 10:27 am
Dick Tracy appears to have rheumatoid arthritis in panel one, since all he can manage to do is cram the phone against the side of his head with bent, crippled fingers. Either that or his trained chimp dialed the call for him and is passing the phone to his ear from off-panel.
January 17th, 2007 at 10:28 am
geez, in the two minutes it took to write my comment, four people got their’s in.
January 17th, 2007 at 10:30 am
MW: Oh, yeah, Greta Weber. She’s down the block in the red brick building. Vietnam is only a country of sixty million people, every bellboy has instant recall of the address and phone number of all residents and visitors.
January 17th, 2007 at 10:31 am
#8 Hogen, didn’t you know? Mary has the power to reach anyone by name, and everyone she meets is blessed with the same power. Don’t you remember when she called Cambodia?
January 17th, 2007 at 10:33 am
I would say that another defining feature of Garfield is the spare, relatively detail-free landscape of Jon and his pets’ monotonous lives, most of which takes place at this counter/table/whatever that Jon keeps letting his cat walk on. The steam suddenly rising from Jon’s coffee — which was stone cold in the first two panels — also violates this established rule.
January 17th, 2007 at 10:40 am
Dick Tracy’s grotesque phone hand reminds me that we saw a similar malformed paw on Al Kinda way back when. Perhaps Tracy should have stuck with the watch-phone.
January 17th, 2007 at 10:41 am
DT:
#6 Chupper: Over the last couple of days, I’ve spent far too much mental energy trying to think of ways to explain Dick Tracy’s wizened, truncated fingers to myself. The trained chimp is a very plausible theory! Thanks for freeing up my day.
Garfield: Bad gag, Davis drones. How can deadline doom be an issue when you’re cartooning by committee, for Margo’s sake?
MT: In panel two,Trout Farmer has the glittery, tight, cornchip lidded eyes of an early eighties celebrity who’s had his eyes done. Not any one guy in particular. All of them.
January 17th, 2007 at 10:44 am
BBailey: Hey, if Beetle can show his eyes just once, back in the early 1950s (in college), she can do the same. If she doesn’t want to lose him to Sarge, that is.
Garfield: A really stupid joke, but kinda neat sight gag.
DT: Tracy’s sure powerful! He can get four entire government agencies together in one room on speakerphone at will! But isn’t most of that under the Homeland Security umbrella? Maybe Locher’s getting paid by the word.
H&L: Panel 2: Looks like Zippy the Pinhead’s got a new pal. Are we having sun yet?
January 17th, 2007 at 10:47 am
JP – We’ve established that Cedric is a ‘personal chef’ whose favorite cookbook is “To Serve Man.†From this, we can only hope that when Neddy ‘immerses herself in Paris,’ it will be in a large vat of pot-au-feu.
January 17th, 2007 at 10:51 am
#11 Snak: Nice link! But I thought the late president was afflicted with Alzheimer’s, not leprosy.
January 17th, 2007 at 10:52 am
1/17
FW: so the big woopy-do surprise is that the Music Supervisor is none other than Harry L. Dinkle, who for the first time in 35 years has taken off his band director’s uniform and we can now see his eyes, but really, he looks the same as before. Whaddya wanna bet that since he’s now the supervisor, he’s going to make Becky the new band director of Westview High. Maybe now she’ll start wearing nothing but the band uniform.
January 17th, 2007 at 10:55 am
OK, I know I’m a few decades late with this, but what is that little white recangle that’s always at the corner of Sarge’s mouth supposed to be? A tooth? Apart from the fact that I cannot imagine what kind of dental or maxillofacial deformity could possibly make a single molar protrude like that, doesn’t Sarge know that as an Army lifer, he’s entitled to dental care?
January 17th, 2007 at 10:55 am
Hats off to Josh for getting the post up so early!
http://www.chron.com/apps/comics/buildcp.mpl?v=3.0&page=1&quality=high&cpp=8&c=112&c=71&c=20&c=116&c=118&c=144&c=123&c=130&c=140
TDIET: Panel 1 and panel 2 show Dragbutt wearing the same clothes and carrying that same red hanky, even though one would imagine that several days have passed. And, is Ms. Buxom in Beetle thinking “Oh, Mama, what he said!”
Spiderman: Oh good, another chance at some kind of drama instantly wiped away. That’s why I read serials, so something can be set up and discontinued the next day.
Phantom: Despite the presence of three gun-totin’ thugs, I just haven’t gotten the sense of danger necessary to have a recap read “Lives are spared!” Maybe because they never really threatened anyone. The randomly selected fat lady that they’ve been talking to has treated them like an amusing spectacle, not with the slightest hint of fear. If they can’t even intimidate grandma in the farming villiage, those guys should go back to their securities firm on Wall Street and start over.
MT: I know that’s the girl’s dad, but he’s drawn exactly like Mark Trail – with slightly different hair. “Your mother checks your homework – I’m not smart enough to figure that stuff out.” I do like the way the bird in panel 3 seems to have laid a spherical egg with Jack Elrod’s name on it.
Malice Fartmore: Is he wearing a UK helmet? As in University of Kentucky? I got a degree from there. Now I feel as if it was all for naught. May I add to Tinsley’s growing list of self-contradictions that anyone who rants against the evils of sloppy education as much as he does should take note that adding more football games to the schedule detracts from – you know – educating.
Funky – this huge buildup to “the Music Supervisor” and we get “Call me Harry.” Is that the band leader who always had the visor of his captain’s hat pulled down over his eyes? Why is this strip only funny to those who have read it for 35 years?
Marmaduke: The big dog is watching another dog on TV! Ha ha ha ha! Would it be funny with a small dog? No! Who would ever laugh at a small dog? Marmaduke is a BIG dog. A very BIG dog. Ha ha ha ha!
January 17th, 2007 at 10:59 am
DT
If I were a gazillionaire industrialist like Diet, you *bet* I would be able to instantly get Homeland, CIA, FBI, and NSA all on the line at once.
January 17th, 2007 at 11:00 am
#10 – Sally – I hate to disappoint, but visible water vapor is created from a disparity in temperatures between the liquid and the surrounding atmosphere. So, it is entirely possible that a luke-warm cup of coffee will not show anything indoors but at frigid temperatures show water vapor. Much like the way you can breathe invisibly indoors, but you see the vapor outside on a cold day. In addition, and I’m sorry for being a pedantic ass, but it’s not even “steam”, but “water vapor”.
January 17th, 2007 at 11:02 am
New name, new preoccupation– Why does the “snow fly” have breasts? Do flies suckle their young? These are not images I want in my head.
And I thought panel 2 of H&L was the sister, Dot. And the new hairstyle freaked me out– she’s trying to look younger?
January 17th, 2007 at 11:04 am
If – let me repeat if – Cedric is from Montreal, let us hope that he has learned Parisian French. My late father grew up in Canada – living in Montreal for a time – and tried his Quecbecois French on some French sailors during WWII, and almost instigated a fight as the same words meant different things. Kind of like listening to Bucky’s cousin Mac.
January 17th, 2007 at 11:05 am
The main problem with DT is that he’s invented technologies and then cut-and-pasted them in the ‘real world.’ Remember the ‘magnetic space coupe?’ Even tho’ Diet Smith was going for orbital joy rides and keggers on the moon, he would still reference poor ol’ NASA and their quaint ‘rockets.’ Wouldn’t the mind reader/eraser pretty much eliminate Dick’s job, him being a detective and all?
And now he’s offering it to the alphabet soup of warrantless thoughtpolice (by conference call, evidently)? Double plus ungood! Sure the potential for a no-bid gov’t contract is tempting, but think long-term and iPod that sucker for the mass market!
January 17th, 2007 at 11:06 am
Re 14 – I’ll bet Cedric is shooting for the tuna taco tartar ala Neddy.
January 17th, 2007 at 11:07 am
Hey, at least this Garfield gets us out of Jon’s house. I have a mental image of what Jon’s house looks like as far as I can tell the majority of it is one huge room with no furniture and one big long countertop that spans the entire length of the house. There is no other furniture or decoration. Other strips do indicate a couple of other rooms though. The vast featureless bathroom which contains only the smartass talking bathroom scale and the fast featureless room containing only a recliner and a television. All the rooms seem to be devoid of windows. While it doesn’t fit the rest of Jon’s character, he appears to be subscribe to some sort of strange artistic minimalist school of thoough when it comes to home decor. I congratulate the Garfield people for making Scott Adam’s Dilbert backgrounds look detailed. Scott Adams can get away with it though because his strip is actually *gasp* funny.
January 17th, 2007 at 11:10 am
Beetle Bailey: I don’t like the whole strip for several reasons. I dislike this installment in particular, because Beetle says “That’s the word.” to the left, and thus BEFORE Sarge says his presumably profane commentary on what he’d do if he had a hot chick like Ms. Buxom alone in a room. Simply arranging characters in such a way as to make chronilogical sense is apparently too much to ask of a guy who has several assistants who work full time to produce one simple comic strip per day.
January 17th, 2007 at 11:13 am
The current Mary Worth plotline makes a lot more sense once you realize that “Greta Weber” is actually a code word for “hot Asian teenage lesbian action.”
January 17th, 2007 at 11:17 am
Foob: I don’t remember Jesse asking or being denied the friggin’ whoremonica. But that’s besides the point. Did Liz notice that it was gone in all the time from when she left until she found out who had it?
“You’re the best teacher I ever had. I learned a lot from you. Like, when the going gets tough, skip town. Like, never put your trust in someone not of your kind. Like, it’s ok to steal, because when the crime is discovered, the victim will just give it to you anyway… ”
“Ok, Jesse, that’s enough.”
“Like, it’s ok to stoke the passions of a married person if you want to string them along for an occasional ego boost…”
January 17th, 2007 at 11:20 am
17: Yes, that’s a tooth. I think it used to imply that Sarge is missing many teeth (there used to be a lot of jokes about all the bar fights Sarge gets in, and jokes about his alcoholism, which seems to have gone away).
And random teeth protruding unnaturally is a comic gag staple. You never watched cartoons as a kid?
January 17th, 2007 at 11:22 am
paddles? and what looks like two spanked buns? ack!!
josh, can’t you do a ‘lyrics of the week” thing, too? because i can’t stop singing ” when i was a child, i had a teeeeacher…..her lips looked like two ballooooooons…..”
January 17th, 2007 at 11:25 am
#28 – Hahaha! Nice. I’ve always wondered about this – in her classroom, Liz loves the “bad boys” – when she was a student teacher it was a little ne’er do well named, I think, Nicky – here it’s lovable scamp/klepto Jesse. It’s like moth to flame. But in her personal/dating life it’s moth to lame.
Go figure.
January 17th, 2007 at 11:27 am
I just want to know who the hell Dick thinks he’s talking to in the first panel. I’d like to think it’s Colonel Sanders in the next panel, because that would mean Dick uses his phone to talk to people in the same room as him.
January 17th, 2007 at 11:29 am
Liz, get out of Jesse’s bedroom!! This is so wrong. I think in the first panel, Jesse’s parents are about to call the police. “They’re having a private conversation WHERE??” No wonder Jesse’s growing up so fast.
January 17th, 2007 at 11:31 am
#25: Wait!! Dilbert’s still funny!?!
January 17th, 2007 at 11:31 am
It’s a good thing Jessie’s got that harmonica, because he’s gonna need it for singin’ songs about prison.
January 17th, 2007 at 11:35 am
Garfield: I thought the same thing when I read this. No way Garfield would be able to resist eating those cookies long enough to even make it to the front door.
Foob: Notice Liz’s contented look as she feeds on Jesse’s despair.
Check out Piranha Club, it’s in the middle of a Mary Worth parody. “It will take me at least a week to walk through the door.”
January 17th, 2007 at 11:37 am
GF: Garfield’s snow-fly looks like a South Park character.
H&L: Every panel in every Hi & Lois, especially the ones featuring that three-hair-tufted baby, is disturbing; this is par for the course.
January 17th, 2007 at 11:42 am
Hogen Mogen (20), I regret to say that I can’t agree with you about the semantics of the word “steam”.
aye, sadly there is no such thing as “visible water vapor”, as in the gaseous state water is invisible. The little trails above Jon’s coffee cup represent miniscule droplets of liquid water that is condensing from the (invisible) water vapor rising from the surface of the coffee. You are indeed correct that this condensation would be far more noticeable outside, where the ambient temperature is likely far less than inside, but technically it isn’t water vapor.
And at the risk of being pedantic myself, I’ll defend Sally’s use of the term “steam”, which in vernacular use is generally understood the way she used it.
Form Wikipedia:
“In common speech, steam most often refers to the white mist that condenses above boiling water as the hot vapor (”steam” in the first sense) mixes with the cooler air. This mist is made of tiny droplets of liquid water, not gaseous water, so it is no longer technically steam.”
January 17th, 2007 at 11:45 am
I see others have already covered the old Al Kinda cell phone panel (one of the first times I read the Curmudgeon). Be fair, the artwork is improving… The phone sort of looks like the speaker is facing his ear now, rather than being propped forward to face the reader.
January 17th, 2007 at 11:47 am
I know it has to be said a million times, but Dick Tracy sure reminds me of Ronald Regan, and what with the mention of the chimp, all I can think is Bedtime for Bonzo.
January 17th, 2007 at 11:49 am
Is Garfield trying to pull a Calvin with that snowman thing? Only Calvin could do those. And Jason in Fox Trot, but he at least acknowledged getting it from Calvin.
January 17th, 2007 at 12:02 pm
At one point, a long time ago, for one week, Garfield was, if not funny, at least interesting -
http://garfieldisdead.ytmnd.com/
For a static (and colored) version, go here and scroll to about 1/3 of the way down the page:
http://www.yomomma.com/
(of course, by “interesting,” I mean “batshit fucking crazy,” but I’d take that over any other Garfield strip of all time ever.)
January 17th, 2007 at 12:02 pm
Re 35 – Hey, remember we’re talking about crime and punishment in the Great White North. Carla Holmoka got what, like five years for serial rape/torture/killing. I think boosting a mouth harp nets you something like a two second fish-eye from the constable.
January 17th, 2007 at 12:06 pm
The idea to give it a shot just kinda popped into my head this morning:
=====
Come an’ listen to my story ’bout a man named Scaduto,
In 1953, rode a rocketship to Pluto.
He stayed fifty years [never heard a word from home]
With aliens named Wombo an’ Migraina an’ Dimdome.
[Weird, that is.]
[Bah! Awk-k!]
[Eatin' squid...]
When he gets back to Earth it’s a whole new century:
Scaduto thinks we still live in 1953.
The syndicate said “How you gonna make a dime?”
So he drew a comic strip called “They’ll Do It Every Time”.
[Lame, that is.]
[Can you dig-g-g it?]
[Ohhhh yeahhhh...]
=====
You’ll be relieved to hear that I haven’t quit my day job.
January 17th, 2007 at 12:13 pm
I can proudly say that I am not familiar with Beetle Bailey’s present storyline, so I’m a little confused at what this strip is supposed to really mean. Frankly, I can’t find a heterosexual interpretation of it.
January 17th, 2007 at 12:13 pm
FW: thank you for pointing out that the Music Supervisor was Harry Dikle, I never would have guessed, honestly, I thought he was a different creepy old man and we were gonna get a month of “if ya play your cards right, I can get you a promotion wink wink, nudge nudge” however given dinkle’s odd behaviors, I think we may yet see him make Becky work for that Band Director position
FC: Gee and I thought that the common joke was always that kids were more tech savvy than their parents, how could it be that neither of these (albeit encephalitic toddler) children knows what ‘burning a CD’ means?
MW: Greta Weber? you mean THE Greta Weber famous British born actress here in Hanoi who just married that doctor chap what’s his name? Jeff Cory? yeah I saw her just yesterday she was in the city to go shopping for baby clothes. I bet Greta and Doctor Jeff will make beautiful super intelligent baby, may find cure for cancer someday.
FOOBS: OOH wait until April finds out her idiot sister has just given away grandpa’s harmonica to someone not in the family (ohh, nm nothing will be likely to happen, LJ has probably forgotten that little plot detail long ago anyway)
January 17th, 2007 at 12:17 pm
#44 Loppie Scaduto:
I never realized how admirably Scaduto speak can substitute for hillbilly/hobo raving.
Anyone remember Uncle Wizzleteats from Ren and Stimpy? If you don’t… just imagine Burl Ives having a meth meltdown: “I’ll teach you to be happy! I’ll teach your grandmother to suck eggs!” and my all time favorite, “I told I’d shoot, but you didn’t believe me! WHY didn’t you believe me?”
January 17th, 2007 at 12:17 pm
What’s spooky is that Tracy is probably shouting into the phone without dialing.
“Hello FBI, NSA, CIA, Homeland Security?”
They’re all listening.
January 17th, 2007 at 12:19 pm
The reason Miss Buxley has never exposed her irises like that before is because they basically appear to be giant bay windows overlooking the barren wasteland of her terrified soul.
Although my alternate theory has me wishing there was a third panel where we can determine if this look is actually more of an “Ooooohhhh…*now* I finally know what he’s into!” followed by a sly, devilish smile as she tries to remember where she saw that strap-on catalog online. In other words, she’s got him “pegged.” Beetle won’t be leaving her house early next time, that’s for sure.
January 17th, 2007 at 12:23 pm
And in Pickles this week, the wacky topic is animal hoarding.
And shaving, uh, kitties.
January 17th, 2007 at 12:25 pm
And it turns out the new Westview High Music Supervisor is…
B.D. from Doonesbury.
January 17th, 2007 at 12:26 pm
Herb and Jamaal today-
While I usually put up with the author’s reliance on using famous quotes to make a point, today’s famous quote is a Zen saying, which is used only for a cheap fart joke. Also if this were true to the scenario shouldn’t the saying be, “You can’t see the wind, but you can smell its effect.”
January 17th, 2007 at 12:27 pm
45: Beetle Bailey doesn’t have a storyline. That’s what’s scary. It’s all stream-of-consciousness (Margo).
Garfield: Not only could he not get all the way outside without eating the cookies, but his modus operandi is his laziness. He would NEVER build a snow anything!
January 17th, 2007 at 12:31 pm
Holy cow! Finger Quotin’ Bucky!
January 17th, 2007 at 12:34 pm
I haven’t been following DT lately (not that I ever really cared…). I read today’s strip as Dick finally getting some ‘tude. Think along the lines of “McFly? Helllooooooooh!!!!” except it’s Dick pretending to call those various agencies for the sake of somebody listening in.
January 17th, 2007 at 12:50 pm
Did someone cut off Dick Tracy’s thumbs? He’s got to stitch the phone to his cheeks to talk into it.
January 17th, 2007 at 12:50 pm
DT: My, but Dick Tracy has small hands. Poor Tess.
Garfield: I agree with above comments; there is no way two large, luscious chocolate chip cookies would make it past Garfield’s stomach and onto a snowfly, much less be put there by said fat cat himself.
MF: Today’s strip is further proof that Tinsley draws the strip way too far in advance to have any relevance by the time they make it to print. Look for his brilliant iPhone thoughts sometime in May.
January 17th, 2007 at 12:54 pm
“Greta Weber†is actually a code word for “hot Asian teenage lesbian action.â€
Is there a possibility that more information about “HATLA” can be found on the internet?
Oh, & to be relevant, Harry Pfingsten, the band director at the high school I attended was the real life role model for FW’s Harry Dinkle.
January 17th, 2007 at 12:57 pm
Spider Man: Mary Jane’s going to leave him, Mary Jane’s going to leave him! How will he ever make rent now??
January 17th, 2007 at 1:00 pm
I LOVE finger quotin’ Bucky! Good call. We demand equal time!
January 17th, 2007 at 1:01 pm
BB – When did Beetle start to “see something” in Sarge? (Sorry, Margo) Obviously there must be more going on in that cloud of dust with the protruding fists and feet featured so often. I really believe that Miss Bosoms shouldn’t ask and Beetle shouldn’t tell. Also, shouldn’t Beetle’s punchline come AFTER Sarge’s comic-strip cussin’? Well, who really gives a @wm#+!!
DT – Possible t-shirt slogan: “I have a machine, Tracy. What do I do with it?” (Maybe an album title.)
Tracy does quite well for a detective without thumbs, don’t you think?
H&L – Panel one, is that another puddle under Trixie? What type of feverish dream is she having by panel two? Seems a bit like a David Lynch moment. This strip is disturbing.
January 17th, 2007 at 1:12 pm
FBOFW: Liz hungrily devours the “gift” of Jesse’s pain and loss. Mmmmm – I hurt him by leaving – how delicious!
January 17th, 2007 at 1:13 pm
None of you understand! The phone is GROWING OUT OF HIS FINGERS! We’re all doomed, just like Froid! We will be assimilated by Dick TraBorg!
January 17th, 2007 at 1:17 pm
Not that there’s a lot of thought put into Garfield or anything, but why a snow fly? Why not a snow lasagna or …what if Jon remarked on what a detailed and accurate snow dog Garfield had made but it turned out he’d just left Odie out in the cold until rigor mortis set in and then covered him with snow! Ha ha! See what I did there, Jim Davis? Not really funny but at least appropriate to the characters.
January 17th, 2007 at 1:25 pm
Garfield’s getting soft in his old age. Back in the day, it would have been Jon, Odie, or Nermal making the snowfly and Garfield would have knocked it down and taken the cookies.
Plus, considering Garfield’s hatred for spiders, why would he choose to make a snowfly? He likes bears, evidenced by his love for his teddy bear Pooky. He should have made a snowbear. Jim Davis should put more thought into this strip. I should put far, far less thought into thinking about it.
FW-What the heck IS a music supervisor, anyway? Is this a real position in any school district on the face of the Earth? Why did yesterday’s strip show Becky Winkerbean going into a boy’s bathroom? That was one of the most random things I’ve ever seen in a comic strip, ever, and that counts all the installments of ‘Beetle Bailey’ I’ve read over the years.
FBOFW-Man, that last panel is creepy. Liz looks all blissed out while Jesse’s face is alive with anguish. Is Liz like that creature on the old Star Trek show that fed on negative emotions? If so, it nicely explains all the suffering Liz has left in her wake over the years, including the suffering of we, the readers. It also explains her attraction to that pathetic sadsack known as Anthony. By golly, that Liz causes suffering so she can feed upon it! Quickly, everyone! Put aside your negative emotions and your petty feuds and hatreds, and BE HAPPY! It is the only way the hideous Liz-Monster will be driven back to the dark depths of deep space! Laugh, everyone, laugh! Hahahahahahahaaa!!! If we’re truly blessed, ‘Marmaduke’ will be driven away, as well!
January 17th, 2007 at 1:26 pm
Ballard Street: Hey, Lois’s hubby (let’s just call you “Chet”). Can’t you see what’s going on? It’s written all over her dress.
January 17th, 2007 at 1:35 pm
In today’s A3G, Tommie thought balloon reveals what many of us supected–she has no confidence whatever in Lu Ann’s ability to function as a human being.
My theory re: A3G is this:
Margo and Lu Ann are as looney as a couple of fruit bats, and Tommie is their fulltime psychiatric nurse. The reason she lives there and takes their abuse is because she is highly paid by their respective guardians to do so.
January 17th, 2007 at 1:35 pm
I remember the good old days when Hi and Lois was all about the poops.
Aside to Dick Locher: Freudian psychoanalysis has about as much relevance to the construction to a mind-reading machine as astrology does to space flight. If you wanted to name-drop here, you should have gone with Eric Kandel, or Alan Hodgkin or Roger Sperry (or even Walter Freeman, if you wanted to emphasize the whole lobotomy angle). Next time, write down what you’re planning to say on the back of a $100 bill and mail it to me, and I’ll punch up your dialog for you. Sheesh.
Aside to Spam Filter: Um, excuse me, Mr. Crankypants, I am certainly not trying to make multiple posts, thank you very much (and it’s Doctor cowboy to you).
January 17th, 2007 at 1:39 pm
I thought that Garfield was funny, but that’s most likely caused by my not ever reading Garfield captions. I only look to see if Jon’s mouth is turning into a weird parabolic funnel apendage.
January 17th, 2007 at 1:55 pm
H&L today just makes me glad that I didn’t trip and have my head land in a cryogenic freezer as an infant, allowing my body to age for 80 years until someone dragged me out to live as a baby-headed octogenarian for the remainder of my sad and horrible life.
January 17th, 2007 at 2:00 pm
Herb and Jamaal do a fart joke.
Is this ‘excretory week’ in the comic artists guild?
January 17th, 2007 at 2:03 pm
Okay, since the Dairy Queen endorsement deal, DtM has been decidedly non-menacing. (Probably put the kibosh on the Dennis and Margaret as OJ & Nicole story line a few years back.)
But today is not only non-menace, it’s non-Dennis! It’s Mister [Margo-ing] Wilson at the Spraw-Mart Sans-A-Belt rack! Now I realize the title character doesn’t always have to appear in a daily feature. But even if there’s no big dog in the day’s Marmaduke, there’s a big dog house or something that relates to the premise. This DtM is nothing but a non-hideous-exiles-from-Doctor-Moreau version of Pluggers.
(I think i’ve used up my whole month’s allotment of hyphens in this post.)
January 17th, 2007 at 2:05 pm
Wow! Josh’s comments hit the high mark on the funny scale today. I Larfed out loud.
January 17th, 2007 at 2:07 pm
FC: The CircuSpawn are too young to remember when Bil burned books, LPs, 8tracks and casettes.
January 17th, 2007 at 2:18 pm
Shoe is a newspaper editor, and he comes out with “. . . decide to become a bomb disarmer?” Geez, man, you’re just sitting around a bar all day. How long would it have taken to edit that into “What made you join the bomb squad?”?!?!
I’m honestly not sure if that question was directed at Shoe or Brookins.
January 17th, 2007 at 2:29 pm
GRETA WEBER ==> BET WAGERER
Has Dr. Jeff fallen prey to the gambling bug? Is up to his eyebrows in debt to the Vietnamese mob?
More importantly, how will Mary, working alone without her Charterstone cohorts, transcend the language barrier in order to emotionally manipulate some unsuspecting Hanoi local into an early grave?
(There’s no question that she CAN; the story is all in the how.)
January 17th, 2007 at 2:31 pm
BB: I have been monitoring this situation for a couple of weeks now, but I never expected it to be confirmed this blatantly! The power is intoxicating.
January 17th, 2007 at 2:32 pm
Beetle Bailey-
Ah hah, now it comes out of the barracks closet. Beetle and Sarge have a “Sigfried & Roy†thing going on. This kind of explains how the lackluster Pvt. Bailey has avoided a dishonorable discharge and a “Full Metal Jacket†style beat down from the rest of the platoon all these years.
Dick Tracy- It’s easy to see why Dick Tracy is smiling the whole strip, Yet once again via fatality or irrevocable maiming he avoids having to read the perpetrator his Miranda rights. No days wasted on a boring old trial for one Detective Richard Tracy. All he has to do is fill out his one sided police reports and he’s off fishing. Dick Tracy is one man death squad I tell you.
January 17th, 2007 at 2:35 pm
FOOB: I hate to diappoint you, but by now, you should all realize that the possibility that Elizabeth will get back at all the wrong-doin’ scumbag men in her life by doing a Mary Kay Letourneau with Jesse is just a tease before she (finally) ends up with Blandthony. I don’t like it, either, but the history is clear.
January 17th, 2007 at 2:36 pm
Is Dick Tracy using a Plugger’s cell phone, the kind with a string attached to another phone? That would explain why he doesn’t bother trying to dial different numbers.
He may also be running a grift to fool Diet Smith into giving him the machine and asking no further questions. Junior may be on the phone saying, “What? Who is this? Dad? What are you trying to pull now?”
January 17th, 2007 at 2:39 pm
Regarding the horrific aging of Hi & Lois characters, perhaps Pastis can take a whack at it.
January 17th, 2007 at 2:42 pm
41 — Calvin actually stole the snowman schtick from Linus.
January 17th, 2007 at 2:45 pm
Garfield – Why does it look like Snow Fly has Ass Crack?
DT – “I have a machine, Tracy. What do I do with it?” sounds like some sort of old man bawdy talk that I neither have the interest in dissecting nor the stomach for.
H&L – You forgot to mention the incredible amount of control Trixie has over her arms in Panel 3. She’s got them folded behind her head, just like Dagwood might during one of his four hour naps. Babies can’t control their arms any more than they can control their bowels which, thanks to last week’s Marvin, we now know all too well.
January 17th, 2007 at 3:13 pm
Greta Weber (pronounced Veber) = She-Wolf of the Viet Cong – black leather boostier, boots, bullwhip and visor cap. I see Mary and Jeff in a Dyanne Thorne movie (I think they’re all about the same age now). Ella knows what she’s talkin’ about when she predicts trouble.
January 17th, 2007 at 3:21 pm
#83 King Folderol
I wondered too, but I think the schtick is that the fly’s proboscis is a stick. Har. Not a carrot. Garfield ate it. Har har.
January 17th, 2007 at 3:22 pm
#38 – Fred P – Yes, there is the vernacular use of the word “steam”, but I was trying to be all technical.
Garfield: Is there something to “snow fly” that I’m not getting? Is it supposed to be some kind of pun, or is it just some random thing that is made of snow? How about a snow butterfly with two more paddles? How about a snow bee with two more paddles, and two pencils with oranges stuck on the ends for antennae? Why stick to insects at all? How about getting some string and making a snow shoe? There is such a thing as a snow shoe, and that would be sort of a pun, because Jon would be expecting one of those shoes designed for walking on snow, instead of a shoe comprised of snow. That’s not very funny, but it makes comic sense.
DT: I think it sort of ruins it when you mention the namesake of the pun. We already could figure out that “Figment Froid” was a play on “Sigmund Freud”. And the comparison doesn’t make sense either. “Figment Froid thought he was Sigmund Freud himself.” Uh, Sigmund Freud also had a mind control device that he used to steal $5 million? I didn’t know that, but that’s probably because Freud was able to erase that from everyone’s memory at the time.
January 17th, 2007 at 3:36 pm
#86 Hogen Mogen
I dunno. Snow fly . . . Superfly . . . snow . . . you tell me.
January 17th, 2007 at 3:39 pm
Just have to get something of my FOOB mind… so you catch your boyfriend cheating on you and in about 8 seconds you get distracted by someone stealing your harmonica?
January 17th, 2007 at 3:42 pm
#71 Krazy Kat –
More excretory humor in today’s comics:
http://www.comics.com/comics/arlonjanis/archive/arlonjanis-20070117.html
In this case, does “excretory” describe the subject of the comic, or the comic itself? You be the judge.
January 17th, 2007 at 3:45 pm
I can’t believe no one else’s brain exploded at Lunatic Existentialist Nightmare Garfield. :(
January 17th, 2007 at 3:47 pm
#71 – Krazy, I don’t know if it is “excretory”, but nasal drip is definitely “disgusting”. This kid’s nose drips like a faucet.
January 17th, 2007 at 3:56 pm
I think Garfield would be funny if he were bigger.
You know, like a really big cat.
January 17th, 2007 at 3:58 pm
#91 Hogen Mogen
I definitely had to turn away when I saw that one this morning. And I don’t like the implication of that dog’s tongue. A leetle too close. Mr. Slyfox Creator really shouldn’t be doing kids’ comix. The molested birds, the hot mousie sex, now this. Of course, kids do like gross. Maybe I shouldn’t read kids’ comix. I used to skip this one before CC.
January 17th, 2007 at 4:00 pm
Why would Miss Buxley be asking Beetle Bailey of all people what he sees in Sarge? They hate each other. Did the people writing the strip just forget about all those ‘fight smoke’ rumbles they’ve had throughout this series’ extremely long run? Or do they just not care anymore?
Wow… I just managed to have one italicized word in all four of those sentences!
January 17th, 2007 at 4:00 pm
84 – “Ella” sounds a bit like “Ilsa”, could she have escaped Nürnberg? It is at Ella/Ilsa’s prompting that Mary has dreams of Greta. I smell something fishy.
Heh heh
Oh, crap, I’m talking about Mary Worth. Yuck.
January 17th, 2007 at 4:00 pm
#92 SPOI
Yeah, like Garfield the Hutt.
January 17th, 2007 at 4:14 pm
Josh’s “Sunday Comics” Ad
Harkens back to thos golden days when “Star Trek” was in the Sunday comics.
http://cgi.liveauctions.ebay.com/42308-Ron-Harris-Star-Trek-Sunday-Strip-Art_W0QQcmdZViewItemQQcategoryZ28266QQihZ007QQitemZ170067459792QQrdZ1QQsspagenameZWDVWQQtcZphoto
Complete with alien autopsy art!
I share this with my fellow CC-ians with the hope that somebody will outbid me on this.
Those were the days. How can this have failed while Brewster Rocket is still with us?
January 17th, 2007 at 4:18 pm
Dick Tracy’s fingers have devolved into monkey paws because the artist of DT is taking lessons from the guy who draws Mark Trail and the guy who does Gil Thorpe.
Isn’t it obvious?
January 17th, 2007 at 4:19 pm
FW – I have been reading this comic since I was a kid, and after reading it I thought “Why am I supposed to recognize this guy?” Then I realized I didn’t care.
JP: I just assumed that when Neddy said she wanted to immediately immerse herself in Paris that this was code for using the bidet.
RMMD: Stupid Bitch.
TDIET: I don’t know if you can even find a phone with a cord anymore. Also, most cell phones RING WHEN THEY ARE OFF THE HOOK! J.E. Mayo of Portland, ME is an idiot, but at least he didn’t make some lame joke about burning cd’s.
FC: oops.
A3G: If Luann had been talking to Margo, she would have said “you certainly are a big girl, better lay off the mallomars!” I’m using mallomars because they haven’t been popular in 30 years, and therefore are prime for being mentioned in A3G.
FBOFW: Yeah let him keep the harmonica. Grandpa sure won’t be needing it!
January 17th, 2007 at 4:21 pm
88. I think the thought process goes like this:
“My boyfriend’s been two-timing me”
“I got to play me some blues”
“Where the [Margo] is my harmonica?”
January 17th, 2007 at 4:27 pm
#94: I think Walker was going to put in the fat sort-of girlfriend but decided his cussing may somehow be misconstrued as abuse and cause the kind of firestorm that could only be created by a Beetle Bailey strip. However, he didn’t want to lose this absolute jewel of a joke so he substituted Beetle.
January 17th, 2007 at 4:27 pm
Further evidence that Garfield lives in Austin, Texas… Clearly, Garfield is excited by the 0.1 inches of snow that Austin received yesterday.
January 17th, 2007 at 4:28 pm
Regarding BB: What is Miss Buxley doing with her left hand? Is she pulling her skirt (what there is of it) down or up? Or is hse just, you know, being friendly with herself? Which might explaing the eyes wide open in the last panel.
January 17th, 2007 at 4:30 pm
90
I remember the “Lunatic Existentialist Nightmare Garfield!”
I assumed JD lost a bet or something.
I asked my step sister once (she works for him, and it is definitely a situation of “what happens in JD’s Muncie compound stays in JD’s Muncie compound.”) But this time, I didn’t get a “you know I can’t talk about that” look. I got an “If I told you, I’d have to kill you” look.
So it will always remain a mystery.
If he didn’t loose a bet, I’m thinking something involving a Mi-Go brain box.
Regarding today’s joke, I’m assuming that when the reader hears that garfield wants paddles and cookies, we immediately assume he is up to no good. Instead, we find he needs then for the touching act of building a snowman, albeit a disturbing insectile snowman.
No lasagne was killed in the production of this strip.
January 17th, 2007 at 4:35 pm
I don’t generally read Dick Tracy, but does he always talk on the phone without opening his mouth?
Or is that “cell phone” really a miniaturized mind-reading device and he’s broadcasting his thoughts telepathically?
January 17th, 2007 at 4:37 pm
#86 Hogen Mogen – Freud’s mindcontroller was much larger, far cruder and steam-powered. He tried it on adults, but was still unable to tell what a woman really wanted. So he gave up and only used it to control the mind of the Jüng.
January 17th, 2007 at 4:37 pm
As I have been known to asked from time to time: What the @M#**!! happened to Beetle’s girlfriend Bunny?
Now, maybe we know… maybe Bunny got the idea that Beetle sees something in Sarge and ran screaming for the hills. (As would I. That is not a thought I want to entertain. Ever.)
January 17th, 2007 at 4:37 pm
Saxman, don’t bid — it’s obviously a fake! Hitler is on the Enterprise threatening to fire phasers in a Scottish accent!
January 17th, 2007 at 4:41 pm
90 ygg: It beats the ending of Cerebus by a long shot. I’m astounded.
January 17th, 2007 at 4:50 pm
Sally,
Next you’ll be making me doubt the authenticity of my vintage 3 week run of “Hi and Mussolini and Lois.”
January 17th, 2007 at 4:59 pm
104: One day I hope someone on Davis’ staff breaks away and exposes what really goes on there. And that they do it in the form of a daily comic strip called JD’s Muncie Compound.
January 17th, 2007 at 5:05 pm
More from Josh’s “Sunday Comics” ad
I give you:
Tillie the Toiler
http://cgi.ebay.com/Feb-26-1933-Tillie-the-Toiler-full-Sunday-strip-doll_W0QQitemZ170070706053QQihZ007QQcategoryZ79QQtcZphotoQQssPageNameZWDVWQQrdZ1QQcmdZViewItem
Complete with a “Tilly in her underwear” dress up doll.
I’m telling you, if Apartment 3G took this approach, they would still be in the Daily Houston Chronicle.
More zippers, Tilly!
And speaking of our favorite mule, check out:
http://cgi.ebay.com/Apartment-3G-Sunday-comic-strip_W0QQitemZ160074656897QQihZ006QQcategoryZ14009QQtcZphotoQQssPageNameZWDVWQQrdZ1QQcmdZViewItem
January 17th, 2007 at 5:08 pm
FBOFW: It’s been pointed out already, but how is Jesse’s obvious loneliness and depression a gift? “I wish you hadn’t left, I miss you” is more like a well-deserved guilt trip, especially since it implies that Jesse is learning absolutely nothing from poor Susan, no matter how ethnic she is.
Oh, wait, I see now. “Ahhhh, I knew it – I am better than Susan! Sucks to be you, Paul….”
January 17th, 2007 at 5:15 pm
107 – Retro lad – Haven’t you noticed the sealed oil drums that always crop up in the background? And why Beetle is always busy scrubbing out trashcans?
January 17th, 2007 at 5:25 pm
a few days late on this, but was I the only one who read Monday’s Dilbert, and thought that Ratbert was singing the theme song from the Smurfs?
“tra-la-la-lalala, la-la-lala-la!”
January 17th, 2007 at 5:27 pm
queek – yes. yes, you are.
January 17th, 2007 at 5:29 pm
#84 Dennis Jiminez:
You’ve inspired me to create an image (yes, this one is safe for work) that you’ll find at the bottom of a page with some that could be deemed questionable. Therefore, please open at home or away from prying eyes. I have two “Margos” on the page I created in Poser. Feel free to use them. I just ask that you credit them to me.
Greta Weber
January 17th, 2007 at 5:31 pm
Jesse stole LIz’s harmonica because he wanted something to remember her by. And because the elders won’t let them take scalps anymore.
January 17th, 2007 at 5:36 pm
FOOB: I don’t quite get what was said in yesterday’s strip: He’s (Jesse) doing good in school, when he goes… Ummm, is Lynn that out of touch with how learning in school works? How can you do well in school when you go only when you feel like it. Especially subjects like math and music, which you need to go every day in order to not fall behind the rest of the class. Unless, the kid is a genius or an idiot savant.
Isn’t attending school compulsory in the Great White North, or do they allow kids to take time off for in order to hunt, fish, or harvest the annual crop?
And noble Liz, who turns the other cheek regarding the theft of a Chin Nut family heirloom, and uses it as a valuble learning opportunity for the mutant boy of Myitchibooty. Oh, the lessons that this storyline teaches us all!
Aughhh! The utter stupidity of this strip!
January 17th, 2007 at 5:40 pm
#89 – Re the Arlo and Janis you linked to:
OK, I’ve had a long day and might be missing something, but does the following constitute an accurate paraphrase of the joke?
“Well, Janis, you’re right: We know there was a mouse there because we can see his droppings. And we would prefer not to have a mouse running around on our furniture; in fact, we’d even like to see that mouse killed. Say, speaking of mice, that Mickey Mouse, by contrast with day-to-day mice, wore pants. I guess that meant he wouldn’t just indiscriminately poop wherever he went, in fact, if he tried that, I guess he’d end up pooping in his pants, unless he first removed his pants. At any rate, Mickey wouldn’t have left a trail of poop behind him. This would have been good for Mickey, because if anyone wanted to track him down and kill him, they wouldn’t be able to just follow the trail of poop, because Mickey didn’t walk around pooping all over the place.”
Is this a fair (if absurdly lengthy) summary? Or is there a punchier alternative explanation of the strip that somehow eluded me?
January 17th, 2007 at 5:47 pm
Saxman, Magnetic Rose: \o/
And when your sister quits, man, do I ever hope she writes a book.
January 17th, 2007 at 5:52 pm
Damn, so the music supervisor was Harry Dinkle. I was hoping that he would say “Call me Harry Paratestes, get it?” and proceed with some brutalicious sexual innuendo.
January 17th, 2007 at 6:14 pm
Garfield:
What is up with Jon? He is so off model he needs a name tag to know who he is supposed to be.
The drawing on this strip is worse than the jokes.
And what ever happened to Odie, Pooky, Nermal, Jon’s friends, parents, dates etc???
January 17th, 2007 at 6:25 pm
Why is Dick Tracy stressing the “WE” in his possibly imaginary phone call in the third panel? Since when is he Diet Smith’s silent partner?
January 17th, 2007 at 6:31 pm
Check out the body language, Beetle, it looks as if she wants to show you something!
I think Beetle really needs to see the signs, or finally get the stones to ask Sarge out on that date. Either way, something’s got to give.
January 17th, 2007 at 6:33 pm
Greta Weber does make a nice little Zippyesque non sequitor… Greta Weber. Greta Weber. Greta Weber.
The jaundiced desk clerk will think she’s a pinhead when she explains,
Mary Worth: “You see, my special friend is drowning in a dream and a clairvoyant biddy in my condo complex told me to remember my dreams and the name Greta Weber appeared in one of them and…”
Jaundiced Clerk: Dinky-dao!
January 17th, 2007 at 6:38 pm
#s 84, 117
This is not as far-fetched as you might think. I read a history of the battle of Dien Bien Phu recently. Some of the troops fighting on the French side were Wehrmacht and SS veterans who’d been allowed to avoid war crimes trials by joining the French Foreign Legion. With the Viet Minh there were East German military advisors who had pursued a similar career path on the Communist side. Apparently some of these people actually knew each other from back in WWII.
January 17th, 2007 at 6:45 pm
126. Jaundiced Clerk: Dinky-dao!
Are you implying that he is half-Australian? Quite possible, but he would have had to move up to Hanoi from the south.
January 17th, 2007 at 6:52 pm
A bad thing is happening when the kids take over the strips. Norms are broken, standards are forgotten, and characters are taken to places they shouldn’t go. First we saw Chips eyes in Hi and Lois. Bad bad bad.. Now we see Ms. Buxley make big eyes. How soon until we see the beady little eyes Beetle has been hiding under that hat all these years!?
January 17th, 2007 at 6:55 pm
What I’m most interested in is, what exactly is Sarge saying in panel three? If it’s fuck then Sarge is a man of fuck, and I think we can all understand exactly what Beetle sees in him. If it’s ’shit’, well then either Beetle is being insulting or he has some really kinky fetishes.
January 17th, 2007 at 7:00 pm
#124 Harold, Tracy’s been Diet’s private dick for years.
Make of that what you will, but remember: Beetle and Sergeant apparently have a similar understanding.
January 17th, 2007 at 7:22 pm
Sorry, I’m just now able to post. I lapsed into a stupor from the mind-boggling double entendres in today’s FOOB. I mean, does Liz want the harmonica back? Maybe “playing the harmonica” is Jesse’s euphemism for the way he, er, remembers Miss Patterson. Heaven only knows what the instrument is covered with.
January 17th, 2007 at 7:23 pm
All cats, Garfeild included, will say, “If I were bigger, I could eat you.”
Cats, of course, are disease carrying vermin.
January 17th, 2007 at 7:56 pm
Phil B — 123
Most of Garfield’s cast was eliminated when the computer that pumps those strips out determined that it could save 70% ink by limiting the cast to Garfield, Jon, and Liz and setting 99% of the strips in Jon’s white, featureless abyss of an apartment.
reader-who-posts — 101
Okay, that makes a lot more sense. The joke might actually work if you substitute in the character that I think you’re referring to. It’ll still not be funny, though, but that’s not what Beetle Bailey cares about.
And in other news, am I the only one sort of annoyed at the new dream/plot devices used in recent Mary Worth strips? The whole adventure was kickstarted by a crazy dream, and now they’re introducing a new character called Greta Weber [who is probably going to be a real character in the strip] with yet another crazy dream? Will Mary Worth going to start gallivanting from hackneyed plotline to hackneyed plotline every time she has too much pizza before bed or… or what? Because I can’t take it anymore, you hear? I CAN’T TAKE IT ANYMORE!
January 17th, 2007 at 8:16 pm
123 Phil B- I, too, was wondering since when was Jon really short and dumpy. For that matter, Garfield’s body is unusually wee in that panel, too. I’d say they were drawn that way to maximize the comic impact of the snow-fly, but no one at the Gafield collective will figure out “comic impact’ until someone tosses Jim Davis out a 12th story window.
January 17th, 2007 at 8:23 pm
Sometimes reader; first time 2007 post
Side reference # 22; yep, just try saying “LaCrosse” in Quebec. Zoot Alors! – yeah, I know it’s zut alors to some people, but aside from being an American play on zut alors it is a reference that goes way back in The Phantom which I failed to mention last time I posted.
January 17th, 2007 at 8:31 pm
That’s funny; it’s usually Calvin who builds all the silly looking snowmen.
Today’s Beetle Baily is as funny as ever. I’d like to see the one where he get beat up by Sarge for choosing to stay in bed rather than get up and go to training again.
January 17th, 2007 at 8:31 pm
So, like, what’s the joke in today’s Garfield?
I mean, Jon has that “you see what I have to put up with?” look that so many cartoon characters get when they see a dumb punchline, but… what’s the punchline? How is it odd that Garfield made a slightly unorthodox snow sculpture?
Especially given that he TOLD Jon he was going to make a snow fly.
Is “snow fly” some kind of slang term for a desert made with chocolate chip cookies? Because that’s the only way I could see this being a joke.
Otherwise it’s more a series of mundane events.
January 17th, 2007 at 8:55 pm
Paranoid Conspiracy Alert:
Both Garfield and Marvin today feature strange, unconvincing non-jokes that attempt to laboriously tie together the apparently unrelated concepts of Snow and Flies. Is this merely an example of Syncrupidity (the combination of stupidity and synchronicity that frequently occurs in the comics, like say, both FBoFW and Mary Worth featuring casual racism this week), or something more sinister?
I’m not going to go so far as to say that we’re under threat of an invasion of Snow/Fly jokes that will slowly creep over the newspaper page like some toxic plague, eventually rendering all other forms of humor (or drama) sterile and opaque. But we must be vigilant, and at the slightest hint of futher Snow/Fly combinations, we must be prepared for the possibility that we will have to wield our dreadful power of Total Sarcasm Annihilation.
No, it’s not pretty, but then war never is.
January 17th, 2007 at 8:57 pm
re: comic where Garfield cups his hands over his mouth:
Even Garfield realized at one point in his life the futility of the gesture, but then again, that was when where having backgrounds, supporting characters, and a punchline that made sense were also part of the comic.
…Ok, he’s still calling for his teddy bear to come back to him, but back then Garfield had more of a “kiddyish” vibe, as opposed to its “slow, repetitive descent into bitter senility” thang it’s currently got going on.
January 17th, 2007 at 9:01 pm
Ugh, it’s Dinkle. Back when I was in High School band, Dinkle was the brand of black shoes we wore with our uniforms. Being the awesome bandos that we were, we cleverly called them Dinkles. Christ, no wonder nobody outside of band ever talked to us.
January 17th, 2007 at 9:04 pm
Prehumus – 101
I hope you realize that when I say “that absolute jewel of a joke” I am being sarcastic.
January 17th, 2007 at 9:05 pm
Actually, Josh, Garfield has played with his food many times in the past. I used to like Garfield (I was younger! And it was sort of funnier then! And…and…::sobs::) and, um, actually owned several Garfield books, which is why I remember this.
Anyway, he’s played with his food a lot. I recall one strip in particular where Jon jokingly asks Garfield if he would rather have lasagna or bananas. Jon’s shocked when Garfield chooses bananas; the last panel shows Garfield with two bananas inserted into his mouth like fangs, and he’s juggling the rest of the bananas. One Sunday strip showed him acting out scenes with a buffet table’s worth of food (including one where he was an alien with, I believe, celery for a ray gun and tomatoes for buggy eyes). There was once a week of Garfield playing with tomato soup (well, doing things like lying face down in tomato soup while pretending to be an underwater explorer searching out a rare tomato soup guppy). I’m not making this up.
I even went so far as to browse through some of the Garfield online vault to find evidence, but it crashed my computer and I decided it wasn’t worth it. Nevertheless, he has chosen to play with his food rather than immediately eat it in the past, and this isn’t entirely out of character for him.
Today’s “joke” still sucks, though.
January 17th, 2007 at 9:47 pm
FW – What the ‘Margo’ ?? Harry Dinkle gets a promotion from being the band director, and you’re criticizing it? It’s something non-tragic and non-smirking and you don’t like it? Did you like all the jokes about band candy and turkeys?
Geez… you’re never happy.
January 17th, 2007 at 10:09 pm
Actually, Miss Buxley DID open her eyes wide about 15-20 years ago. That was when a too-powerful office fan blew all her clothes off. Including her panties! That was some mean trick, since she was sitting behind her desk!
January 17th, 2007 at 10:10 pm
DT: Thanks for sending Mister Government Man Diet’s new Thought Bean detector, Dick. We weren’t using those civil rights anyway…
January 17th, 2007 at 10:13 pm
#120 Skullturf –
That’s the way I read it, too.
I generally like Arlo & Janis, because I usually have to think for a minute to understand some of the twists. Usually they’re funny, and sometimes not, but they’re rarely blunt, obvious and repetitive (e.g. “Garfield eats everything”, “Marmaduke is a big dog”, “Sarge beats up Beetle”, etc.). Today’s was OK. Not the best strip around, but definitely a cut above most.
January 17th, 2007 at 10:15 pm
#139 — Jonathan Bogart:
I like “Syncrupidity.”
It’s t-shirt-worthy.
January 17th, 2007 at 10:17 pm
Look, Davis, or whatever no-talent hack you’ve got slaving away in some dank South Asian sweatshop, funny snow creations are the exclusive province of Bill Watterson. He did it first, he did it better and you aren’t fit to nuzzle his sweaty taint. Now you make that fat, stupid cat eat those damned cookies and the next time you feel like playing in the snow, smash your face into a 300-degree pan of lasagna.
January 17th, 2007 at 10:19 pm
With so many Garfield comments feeding into the string today, I decided to check out the Garfield “official site” (felt like inserting some inappropriate quotations to honor Bucky’s Margo channeling – awesome). The site takes f..o..r..e..v..e..r.. to load. One must question why this is.
Is it that so many Garfield fans are using the site that the server is overloaded – I think not.
So, what my dear Curmudgeonites, is the cause of this incredible slow loading? With all of the Garfield merchandising, I would think Davis could afford something more than the hamster wheel powered website.
January 17th, 2007 at 10:27 pm
IMHO, the hot, steamy boy on bear action in Beetle Bailey takes place off-screen,
-Sarge: “HUFF,HUFF…Honet, Call me Ooh!…Sergeant.. Oh!…Sergeant Sphincter!..OHMYOHMYOHMY”!
-Beetle -”Say MY name, Bitch!!!”
-Sarge-”Yes, ooh, uh!… yes Sir, Field Marsh…shall …Oh yeah, that’s IT!..Ce-Ce-Centi- Centipede!!!!
January 17th, 2007 at 10:34 pm
Dinky-dao – (pronounced “dinky dow”) Crazy, Americanized Vietnamese.
…not to be confused with the Aussie “fair dinkum”.
January 17th, 2007 at 10:34 pm
Momma, it’s funny because she’s threatening her son with suicide.
January 17th, 2007 at 10:35 pm
Okay, I’ve read FW for a few weeks now and the preliminary verdict is in — I hate it. My only regret is that this puts me on the opposite side of the Funky Divide from my cherished friend Old Fogeyette. Please, Fogeyette, forgive me. If it helps at all, I’ll be far too busy loathing Foob and worrying about MT’s adorable animals over the next several months to spend time dissing FW. And who knows, I may change my mind about it.
January 17th, 2007 at 10:36 pm
FOOB: This takes me back to the South Park episode which lampooned really hot teachers getting involved with their students. Does this mean Liz and Jessie will get a visit from Dawg The Bounty Hunter? God I hope so….”THIS IS BEAR MACE…Walk with Christ Liz…Walk with Christ..”
MW: So far Mary’s trip to Vietnam is less Apocalypse Now, more Murder She Wrote. I’m just prayin’ for a surf-crazy Air Mobile Colonel…
January 17th, 2007 at 10:42 pm
Great! Now this page will turn up on The Google when
Isomeone searches for “Buxley panties”January 17th, 2007 at 11:20 pm
#109: A fellow Cerebus reader! Yeah, I don’t know what happened! I mean the later books generally, it’s not enough for Johnny Hart to get loopy and ruin his fine comic (and a case could be made that Sim hurt his series in a FOOB/FW way, too).
January 17th, 2007 at 11:53 pm
Wow. Has everyone taken the night off? No lyrics, no snarking, no 300 posts. American Idol wasn’t THAT good.
January 17th, 2007 at 11:54 pm
Did yesterday’s FBorFW remind anyone else of Anakin and Padme’s painfully awkward reunion in Episode II? (We all know what that reunion led to.)
Maybe as his rite of passage, Jessie accompanies Liz on her journey back home, (traveling as refugees, avoiding registered transport,) where circumstance relegates the memory of Granthony to three lines of dialog in the mountain meadow scene.
January 18th, 2007 at 12:17 am
Has anybody else noticed that Mandrake the Magician’s enemy the Deleter (should that be “deletor”?) bears a certain resemblance to Silent Bob?
January 18th, 2007 at 12:30 am
99: Phones with cords are useful in the event of a blackout, when your lovely wireless no longer gets a dialtone, if you still have a land line that is.
153: I haven’t read Momma since they took it out of the paper, but that is her mothering way. Sonja Hobbs threatens her own death as though it would be a horrible thing to her children. After having been exposed to such emotional blackmail for that long, you’d think they’d just let her execute her machinations and celebrate~ She seems yet another vampire of misery, like Liz~
And yet her children will probably end up almost as she fears. Francis will end up trying to be someone’s rent boy (I’m not sure of the heterosexual equivalent). Thomas will be put into the poorhouse due to his inability to convey to his wife the value of money in their single-income household. (Even I’ll agree with her based on the strips I’ve read that that is a problem.) Mary Lou may end up a spinster~ (Oh no!)
Seriously, Mary Lou is the only one with any chance at happy happiness if she could just realize that she doesn’t need to conform to the societal pressure of marital bliss to be happy. Thomas is just oddly still on his honeymoon with his wife… And when he realizes it’s over, it’ll hopefully be the stuff of a Lifetime movie. And I don’t think that professional slacker is available any more as a life choice, so Francis is right out.
January 18th, 2007 at 12:47 am
Non Sequitur http://www.uclick.com/client/wpc/nq/ actually made this atheist say amen. I’ll have to remember that the next time I hit a golf ball.
January 18th, 2007 at 1:04 am
Summerhouse*
Meddling biddy from the sky
Angsty gal who’s gotta fly
Mary dreamed, then caught a plane
’cause she thought, Emma may be sane
Pacemaker inside her chest
Plucky gal, Chartersone’s best
Jeff Cory’s a mystery
But only she can set him free
Trained to live off casserole
Trained to laquer her hair to hold
Perfection in the night and day
Final net? don’t need hair spray
Pacemaker inside her chest
Plucky gal, Chartersone’s best
Jeff Cory’s a mystery
But only she can set him free
Back at home young Toeby waits
Her Walkin’ pal has missed their date
Mary’s with the “icky” sorts
Mary ripped her cargo shorts
Shave silver hair off my man’s chest
Make him one of Charterstone’s best
We’ll be back at Bum Boat one day
And we’ll let them know, Cory’s not gay
*SSGT. BARRY SADLER lyrics – “The Ballad Of The Green Berets”
January 18th, 2007 at 1:18 am
FOOB 1/18 Thus concludes another life-altering chapter in Liz Patterson’s life, as she bids a fond farwell to Mtiballsrblu. Next up: Suburban satisfaction or Milborough malaise?
January 18th, 2007 at 1:19 am
Someone yesterday thinks they saw me purchasing peanut brittle. It wasn’t me – peanut brittle angers moles and makes them harder to preen.
Zappa parodies? Yeesh!
January 18th, 2007 at 1:26 am
Oh god help me, I can’t believe I’m asking this, but in January 18th’s Judge Parker, is there a continuity error? There’s this old butler-lookin’ dude in the background of the first panel, and I thought the old butler was dying of influenza. You know, so the Canadian Cannibal from the temp agency can take over and make the snacks and drive and say slightly creepy things more or less all the time.
I cannot describe how much it bothers me that this bothers me. There is no good reason why anyone in the world should ever pay that much attention to Judge Parker. I NEED HELP.
January 18th, 2007 at 1:31 am
It’s not the way you look, no.
It’s not the way you walk.
Your eyes are so very good.
You know they’re clear and and the way they blink,
It’s not the color of your hair.
Blinking eyes
I keep fallin’ for those blinking eyes.
They keep calling my name, blinky eyes.
I keep fallin’ for those blinking eyes.
They keep calling my name.
You’re such a losing cause.
Why don’t you go get lost?
Who says you write the laws?
You’re such a losing cause,
Go on and get out of here.
Blinking eyes
I keep fallin’ for those blinky eyes.
They keep calling my name.
You’re such a losing cause.
Why don’t you go get lost?
Who says you write the laws?
You’re such a losing cause,
Go on and get with Anthony.
It’s not the way you look, no.
It’s not the way you walk.
Your eyes are so very good.
You know they’re clear and bright,
It’s not the color of your hair.
Blinkyeyes
I keep fallin’ for those blinking eyes.
(Repeat alternate endings)
They keep calling my name.
(Repeat 4X)
Blinky eyes, I keep falling for those blinking eyes.
They keep calling my name.
Blinky eyes, I keep falling for those blinking eyes.
I keep calling your name.
Blinking Eyes.
January 18th, 2007 at 1:49 am
Tin foil hats don’t work, you have to go with lead to really do any good.
http://home.comcast.net/~hobomaster/leadhat.jpg
January 18th, 2007 at 1:50 am
FC: That “dry-cleaned” gag was used in DtM a number of years ago.
Crankshaft: This joke is scheduled for recycling in TDIET, Jan. 2027.
TDIET: Increment the squid count! But surely the waitress bears some responsibility for the bottle of ketchup that’s been left so long to ferment that it’s finally blown the top off.
DT: Here’s your $5 million in this child’s lunchbox, all in $10000 bills acquired before 1969.
MW: You might think that it’s strange that the first person Mary talks to in Vietnam knows Greta Weber, but the Hotel Metropole provides the pho for the staff cafeteria in Peace Village. Because of the increased pace of the strip, we missed one of Mary’s other dreams—”Mary, I’m drowning! Throw in some bean sprouts and basil leaves!”—that caused Mary to proceed directly to the site of the International Pho Conference. Well, not directly, as someone pointed out, but on a connecting flight up from Ho Chi Minh City that we didn’t get to see.
January 18th, 2007 at 1:54 am
Mmmmmm! Delicious, delicious noodles! Dr. Jeff, fragrantly drowning in tasty broth – slurping his last, and dreaming of his Mary.
January 18th, 2007 at 1:55 am
This is a few days old, but I thought people might want to know that Zippy the Pinhead doesn’t understand the teenagers’ hostility towards him.
January 18th, 2007 at 1:56 am
The Garfield strip is a perfect example of why the claim “I like [insert name of comic here] okay, but it doesn’t make me laugh out loud” is missing the point. The snow fly made me laugh out loud. It’s still a dumb joke.
January 18th, 2007 at 1:57 am
169. Tinfoil hats are a secret intelligence black ops program—see this MIT study.
January 18th, 2007 at 2:02 am
#166 Trilobite -
We’ve all been there, T-bite. Ask Poteet about Molly Fever, or check out the collective Great Aldo Frenzy of 2006. Or check out my shameful agit-prop in the Margo Finger Countroversy (I was part of the infamous Gang of Six).
It’s OK to be bothered, and OK if that botherance is a source of bother to you. It’s even OK that it’s Judge Parker – after all, Eduardo is back, and Abbey’s hot again.
Just keep saying to yourself, “it’s not FOOB”, “it’ not FOOB.”
Got me through, lemme tellya.
January 18th, 2007 at 2:05 am
Hey! How about a Mary Worth/Dick Tracy special-effects mash-up?
“Hey Dick – Pho Q!”
January 18th, 2007 at 2:16 am
When I first saw today’s FOOB (1/18) earlier this week during the Great FOOBiverse Journal FOOB Previews of 2007, I briefly thought it was a strip from last week (Yecch!).
“Elizabeth, we don’t want to fight, Okay?” Something tells me Paul knows about the Eric break-up (if so, that makes him stupid, too!).
Then the mean bait-and-switch in the last two panels. We’re supposed to cheer, but I just feel empty inside, FOOB-wise. And the mean bait-and-switch is nothing compared to Lynn’s mean bait-and-switch in the Friday and Saturday strips. Don’t say I didn’t warn you.
Farewell, MtigGuffin.
January 18th, 2007 at 2:26 am
Rice rice baby (doong doong doong, doonga doong, doong)
Rice rice baby (doong doong doong, doonga doong, doong)
All right stop curmofos and listen
Mary’s back and she’s on a mission
Something grabs a hold of her tightly
Flow like a wetdream daily and nightly
Will it ever stop yo I don’t know
Turn off the lights and she dreams of Jeff drownin’ in pho
To the extreme her dreams of a drowning
Light up a stage and mary wakes up pounding
Diddlin’ her wad o’ bubblegum
I’m killing your brain with the way that’s sounding
Mary’s Onanism cause an emetic reaction
Your’e not effected? quite a stoic action
Love it or leave it’s in the past
There has to be The Big One after Aldo Kelrast
If there was a problem yo Mary’ll solve it
Check out the hook while my DJ revolves it
….Sorry, I got no more!
January 18th, 2007 at 2:33 am
In honor of lucky, lonely Tommie, I submit a song for those over a certain age since Funny Lady is pretty much known today only to a select cadre of gay men, Jewish women, and James Caan.
How Lucky Tommy Gets
(aka “How Lucky Can You Get” from Funny Lady)
Written by F.Ebb & J.Kender
Trounced by Dingo
TOMMIE
Ain’t she got fun,
She’s the luckiest one (bitch)
Satin on her shoulder and despise on her lips
How lucky Tommie gets
Everything is crazy but the girl’s got a grip
How lucky Tommie gets
Every night a party where the fun never ends
For Margo and Luann but – for Tomm? – just the bends
Luann’s going crazy and that woman, McGee
Is Eric’s new personal pet
Wow how lucky Tommie gets
Wrap her thighs around a homeless man on the make
How lucky Tommie gets
Any man could have her if he’d buy her a steak
How lucky you could get!
Weekends in the country? Why the Hamptons, of course!
With a wardrobe so drab to cause buyer’s remorse
Reading tales of Austen while her roommates get laid
Her life is circumspect
Gee how lucky can she
Wee how lucky can she
Wow how lucky Tommie gets
Hey there gorgeous!
Big success!
What’s your secret gorgeous!
It’s permanent press!
You wanna know what it’s really like
FANDABULARTASTIC!
Satin on her shoulder and a smile on her lips
Money for hotpockets and a bra for her nips
Wrap your legs around me that’s my favourite phrase
How lucky
When I blow the chofar think I’ll give him a raise
How lucky
If life’s a bed of roses I’ve manure on me
You can spare me the news I’m no Margo McGee
And if there’s a man who’d love me I am happy to say
I haven’t dismembered him yet
Gee Wee Wow
How lucky, how lucky Tommie gets!
January 18th, 2007 at 2:34 am
HL: I think we are dealing here with a preternaturally self-aware infant…note the (inexpertly rendered) thought-balloon bubbles coming from Baby’s head in panel two. She is foreseeing her own jaundiced, schizophrenic future, which apparently will consist of railing vainly at inanimate sunbeams, while refusing utterly to comprehend the functional purpose of curtains. Also, she will still be living in the fading house in which she was born — given her freakish female-pattern baldness, and impending madness, this is not a great surprise.
January 18th, 2007 at 2:36 am
1/18:
Lockhorns: “Well, it’d be easier to spot in the parking lot, except I bumped into a number of cars on the way home, so all the other cars there will look like that, too. Oops!”
S-M: Oh, pout, pout, pout, Pete-Pete-Pete! Well, at least the SpiderLockhorns are back in form.
FW: Hearing loss! Of course in FW it’s gotta be some tragedy.
BBailey: Sarge, you’re no Uncle Lumpy.
(DT)GT: “You’re benched for Illegal Use of Badly-Fitting Clip-Art for Your Head.”
A3G: Lonely?? Hell, Tommie, you’re rid of Dopeybobble and Bitchibobble! Celebrate!!
Crankshaft: Betting odds on Cranky letting loose his inner Everett True?
January 18th, 2007 at 2:38 am
Suddenly tinfoil hats are everywhere (Dec. 6).
January 18th, 2007 at 2:57 am
#165 Gadge Cubic, Mole Preener- Sheesh indeed! I’m fairly new at this comics/ song parody deal. I wholeheartedly get your point IE; Why attempt to parody the greatest parodist ever. It is a recipe for a shit redundence sandwich.
January 18th, 2007 at 3:13 am
Gadge Cubic as Sheik Yerbouti? Swoon…
January 18th, 2007 at 3:42 am
I’ve just noticed that Edge City has been rather (IMHO) funny in the last week or so. Not one that I usually read, but my rating is slowly moving up.
January 18th, 2007 at 4:20 am
In awe of those who have gone before, I humbly submit the following first effort. (Reference—Kris Kristofferson, Me and Bobby McGee)
Busted flat in Mtictac, waiting for a copter
And wonderin why nobody thinks about me,
Jesse thumbed a Sno-Cat down just before it froze,
It rode us all the way to Moosonee.
He pulled Grandpa’s harmonica from his red bandanna,
And I sang the “I used to have a harmonica like that” blues.
Lizard’s backhands slapping cheeks, he’s gonna have bruises for weeks,
Just be glad that Paul has left the queue.
Foobdom’s just another word for no plot left to tell,
A lizard ain’t a lizard if it ain’t free.
Feeling good was easy, lord, when Jesse “went to school”,
You know feeling good was good enough for me,
Good enough for me and Jesse the Cree.
From the Cape Breton coal mines to the Okanagan sun,
Jesse shared the contents of my brains.
My brother’s wretched novel, my sister’s awful band,
Jesse even heard about Daddy’s trains.
One day up near Kapuskasing, lord, I let him slip away,
He was lookin for that rez and I hope he finds it.
But I’d trade all of my Tim Horton’s for one single piece of frybread
To be holdin Jesse’s body next to mine.
Foobdom’s just another word for no plot left to tell,
A lizard ain’t a lizard if it ain’t free.
Feeling good was easy, lord, when Jesse “went to school”,
You know feeling good was good enough for me,
Good enough for me and Jesse the Cree.
January 18th, 2007 at 4:36 am
Karma is a b**ch. When liz said goodbye to Warren for going with Paul, she then stood in view of helicopter boy, and started hugging and kissing Paul, like, just to make SURE Warren knew she was oblivious of him. It couldn’t be somehow politely waiting till he left, it had to be like they were all 16 years old at best.
Now when Paul comes to the door, his girlfriend is hanging on to him already, as if it weren’t CLEAR they were together already, they are in the same house for gods sake, she has to behave like a piece of clothing draped around Paul, her expression all scared, as if Liz were coming to collect the final mortgage payment or throw them out. Worthless drivel.
The best is the whole set of panels of this last week could have been scripted easily with just repeating this one phrase from Liz: “me, me, me!” Try it, just put those words in her word-balloon whenever she opens her mouth or thinks. It works.
Paul “leaving her” – it’s not about how Liz left selfishly for her, oh no..After that side-character explains to Liz about Pauls native spirit blah blah, all she hears is about herself: WHO IS GOING TO GUIDE ME!! MEEE, MEEE!.
Jesse’s confession? It’s about Liz GETTING something for GIVING – which is NOT the point about GIVING in any moral or ethical lesson, sorry. She goes back to Paul to say good-bye, only to RUB IT IN – IF YOU need FRIENDS, there are some good ones here in Mitwickgi. Instead of being BIG and SUMMING UP HER KNOWLEDGE OF WHAT SHE LEARNED about HERSELF through Paul! What a B**ch!
Folks, she deserves Blandthony big time, and we have to start delivering on that, instead of inflicting Warren with her. It’s really time to wrap it up. She is going to be an unhappy, egotistical repeat of Blandthony’s Therese, homeschooling and getting the Patterson ass. Let it happen, let it happen, there is no more Liz story of interest left.
January 18th, 2007 at 4:52 am
See, when I saw that Garfield in the paper today, I thought the exact same thing. And that worries me.
January 18th, 2007 at 5:08 am
Googling a bit, I saw this from an old FBoFW fan page:
In her letter, Lynn Johnston said:
“We have our own very active website and are responsible for everything that is connected to For Better or For Worse. I support the initiatives taken by my syndicate to prohibit you from continuing your site. I hope we will not have to pursue this matter further.”
–
Lynn Johnston is a bitch.
January 18th, 2007 at 5:38 am
#185 Mr O’Malley – Well, there went THAT cup of coffee. Well done. You owe me a roll of paper towels.
January 18th, 2007 at 6:58 am
I suppose one could say Liz wanted her Native lover to move to southern Canada, but he was having Nunavut.
January 18th, 2007 at 7:25 am
Seriously, WTF is wrong with Lynn Johnston? Finally gone off the HRT?
January 18th, 2007 at 7:48 am
Speaking of freakish small children, WTF in Family Circus today? Isn’t that Billy? Isn’t he supposed to be, like, eight years old? Suddenly he’s a weird stumpy toddler. I started at that picture for a good 30 seconds before shuddering and turning the page.
January 18th, 2007 at 7:59 am
#42 ygg–I remember those panels from when I was a kid, oh, about ten years old. Back then I was just confused, but now the whole thing makes me feel just sad and terrified at the same time. The damn things have been haunting me. I was always a huge Garfield fan. The idea of the old fart dying freaks me out. When I was a little one, I made a wish that Garfield would be real so I could meet him. Those comics are really getting to me, and it’s also really bugging me that it bugs me. While I love the possibility that a strip could have some depth to it, the whole thing was just really freaky. In much the same way that we all cheered for Paul to not be an ass, and despise Liz and Blandthony, I guess I thought of him as a real character, or at least someone cool to spend Saturday mornings with as a kid. Even now at 28, the idea of no more Garfield bothers me–and it also bothers me that I even care.
On another note, in today’s H&L, why does Dot answer her own question? Or did the twins change clothes between panels 1 and 2?
January 18th, 2007 at 8:14 am
Okay, for fun, why don’t we all try and figure out exactly the word is in the last panel of BB? I’m guessing it isn’t something as simple as the “S” or “F” word. I’m leaning towards “Spanakopita”.
Also, scraping for gold among the dross, I like the fact that Garfield has a twig serving as the fly’s probocis. Not to mention that Jon, who couldn’t hear Garfield’s remark in panel two (could he?), felt obliged to follow him outside in his ill-defined slipper things. Well, at least that steaming cup of Bosco should keep him warm.
January 18th, 2007 at 8:41 am
#178 – Nice. I submit that if Tommie left the apartment occasionally and stopped talking to herself, she wouldn’t be so lonely, and she’d very likely get lucky.
January 18th, 2007 at 8:47 am
*** Aunt Fritzi Alert!*
* the only thing that’s improved Nancy in the last 50 years.
January 18th, 2007 at 8:54 am
Steam, which is water in a gaseous state, is invisible. Water vapor, which is tiny particles of liquid water suspended in the air, is visible.
As in the pronunciation of “forte”, the misuse of the term “out of pocket”, and the all-too-common “I could care less”, the fact that misusage is widespread doesn’t make it right.
January 18th, 2007 at 8:54 am
I am surprised that I actually laughed at the 1/18 strip of 9 Chickweed Lane. Who laughs at 9CL???
I was originally annoyed at having to turn my head to read the first bubble, but I think that having to turn my head back meant that I had the proper amount of “hang time” between the first and third panels.
Anyone else?
January 18th, 2007 at 8:57 am
TDIET: Again with the butt pan-frying urges! Scaduto is clearly working through some childhood issues.
January 18th, 2007 at 9:05 am
http://www.chron.com/apps/comics/buildcp.mpl?v=3.0;page=2;quality=high;cpp=8;c=112;c=71;c=20;c=116;c=118;c=144;c=123;c=130;c=140;date=2007/1/18
TDIET: The 2007 Scaduto squid-reference count is now standing at three.
January 18th, 2007 at 9:14 am
s=read(TDIET);
squidCount=0;
while(!eof)
{
t=tokenize(s);
if(t == “squid”)
squidCount++;
}
return(squidCount);
January 18th, 2007 at 9:16 am
TDIET: The diner waitress at the tablecloth-and-wine-glass establishment, the chef named “Guido”, the inevitable squid menu. I think Scaduto has heard of restaurants before, and has a fair idea of what goes on in them, but has never actually been in one in his life.
“Thank you, I’ll be here all week, try the squid!”
January 18th, 2007 at 9:16 am
So, in today’s comics…
…Cedric has morphed back into Withers, or whatever the hell the old fart’s name is, in Judge Parker. Given those freaky glasses he was wearing a few days ago, could it be that Ced is really a villian on loan from…
…The Adventures of Peter Parker, World’s Worst Husband? Hey, Pete, you have an opportunity to hang out in a BIG STAR’S trailer for a week. Which means you get to lay around all day, drinking beer, helping yourself to the food carts, and downloading internet porn while waiting for your spandex-clad lady to come home to some Amazin’ web-slinging, if you know what I mean. But if you’d rather swing through the smog-filled skies of LA instead, who are we to stop you?
…World O’ Foobery: Liz, can’t you see how Paul’s new lady friend is cowering next to him every time you come to the door? Is that the life you want? More importantly, is that the life we want for you? Get thee to Granthony’s basement, posthaste, young woman!
January 18th, 2007 at 9:25 am
MT – Fists clenched in rage, “those dam beavers!”
A plugger recognizes his 40 of Camo on the bus, by the roll-down sack.
JP – Why Abbey, you look as though you and Sam have been doing “it.”
FC – Yes Thel, please dip Billy in solvent and spray him dry with VOCs.
January 18th, 2007 at 9:28 am
#190 – gleeb – good one. A FOOBian style pun. Approximately 75% of all FOOB strips end thusly.
Anyhow, can someone explain today’s FOOB punchline? Is that Lizzie’s way of telling Paul to F.O.? Or is it a final salute to the nobility of spirit found in Mtiggy? Or a bit of both? Damn you Lynn Johnston, for everything.
January 18th, 2007 at 9:31 am
Looking at panel one, I can only conclude that Dick Tracy is unfortunately a couple of years too late for the sidetalking fad.
January 18th, 2007 at 9:37 am
#149 : This was mentioned earlier, but Charles Schulz was writing story arcs around snowman-building before Bill Watterson could draw a snowman.
Young whippersnappers don’t know #### from ####.
January 18th, 2007 at 9:57 am
#186 – Lynn – I got a different take on today’s Foob. I saw Liz going to Paul & Susan’s (in Zits, they’d now be “Paulandsusan”) not to “rub it in”, because she’s got nothing to rub (except the obvious autoerotic reference – but I hate obvious). Paul is the cheater, she was -and I hate to admit it because it caves in to Lynn Johnston’s bludgeon-style character development – Liz is a victim here. She goes to graciously tell Paul that there are no hard feelings. I can see a real person going to say goodbye for closure, and possibly keeping it somewhat civil, but I can’t believe that she’s really that hunky-dory about it. “Paul, I loved you and planned to spend the rest of my life with you and I went out of my way to buy a plane ticket to visit, took extra lengths to come up a day early by copter to surprise you, only to find you cheating on me with my skanky replacement – in more ways than one. But I’m totally ok with it. Really.” I can’t wait for that phony facade to drop when she gets home and Elle has to listen to a big weepfest that will inevitably end by running into The Moustache’s spindly arms.
January 18th, 2007 at 9:58 am
Today’s Between Friends is extremely odd, to say the least. Both parents are working, and he’s so worried about 79 cents’ worth of pasta that he wants his daughter to skip a meal? That is *twisted*.
January 18th, 2007 at 10:05 am
FOOB: It is hard to fathom, but I think we have a snark from Liz.
TDIET: I have been in restaurants where the squid was better than the steak.
January 18th, 2007 at 10:09 am
The Scadutionary a.k.a The Zen of Scaduto,
vol. 452:
A backwards cap = teenager, regardless of size or age-appropriate dialogue
Cobweb = extremely subtle indicator of excessive time passage
Look for volume 453 in tomorrow’s “Ye Olde Crow Flies Picayune”, or hear it directly from the Town Crier!!
January 18th, 2007 at 10:10 am
FW : “Harry Dinkle”?
January 18th, 2007 at 10:16 am
I can’t say enough about Malice Fartmore besmirching my alma mater by demonstrating that he’s a big Wildcat fan. First of all, Tinsley, you live in Indiana, and graduated from Indiana University. You were born in Louisville, home of UK’s arch nemesis (and a vastly inferior University, too). What, did you grow up amongst U of L Cardinals fans and decided to be a fan of their rival just to piss everyone off? Well, you’re pissing off the UK fans, because you have no right to root for my team. Plus, your relevance is more comical than your strip. You don’t put the results of a football game in a comic strip that has a 2 week lead time. The Wildcat fans have all long since moved on to basketball. And lastly, if you’re going to rhyme, keep it simple. Even derranged Jonny Hart can make things rhyme easily. Watch:
It was fun
It’s over and done
Miami won
They’re #1
Of course, there’s no real point to moon-June-spoon rhymes, but less so for your illustrated drivel.
January 18th, 2007 at 10:20 am
FOOB: Why do I keep expecting one more panel where the house that Liz is walking away from suddenly explodes in a ball of fire as Liz calmly walks away?
January 18th, 2007 at 10:30 am
Yesterday, there were some parodies of limericks that Tinsley might sling (with a picture of a duck next to them). He doesn’t do limericks, which have a rhyme scheme of A, A, B, B, A. He uses a rhyme scheme of A, B, A, B. It is noted that he has no sense of meter, so it comes off as pompous prose with an accidental rhyme to make it sound even more clumsy. So, here’s tomorrow’s Mallard today:
Even though her party has now become the majority,
Nancy Pelosi is a very confused woman
(badly drawn characature of Pelosi)
She is Speaker of the House with a lot of seniority
And for Iraq, the do-nothing Democrats don’t know of one or suggest a completely unworkable plan!
(picture of disgruntled duck)
January 18th, 2007 at 10:32 am
#171 – I don’t see what the teenagers’ problem is. This is the first time I’ve ever seen that strip, and I completely understand my hostility towards Zippy the Pinhead.
January 18th, 2007 at 10:41 am
Spiderman: Oh for chrissake, Pete. The damn Spidey sense AGAIN? What is it this time? A depressed fireman? A maniacal butler? Another of your NYC nemeses that flew to LA? Maybe that flaming-skull guy. He flew coach, the stewardesses in coach wouldn’t know if your head caught fire, but they’d be on you like chocolate chip cookies on a snow fly if you lit up a cigarette (they’ll do that every time, oh yeaaahhh!). Maybe Peter should go to the desert with MJ, and we’ll be treated to a months worth of Spiderman swinging from Subarro cacti chasing a rabid coyote in pursuit of a cheeky roadrunner.
January 18th, 2007 at 10:45 am
#213 – Correction – Florida won
They’re #1
Though Miami did win their respective bowl game, they are nowhere close to #1 this year.
January 18th, 2007 at 10:46 am
#218 – Sorry. I get confused.
January 18th, 2007 at 10:53 am
# 166 Triobite — Like you, the butler in the background was the first thing I saw. I was thinking, “Hey isn’t he supposed to be in bed dying from the flu?” Then I realized, this is a s***y comic strip, who cares….
January 18th, 2007 at 10:59 am
Why is Dick Tracy hugging Kenny Baker?
January 18th, 2007 at 11:04 am
Okay, what happened to the wrist tv that Dick Tracy had? What I miss?
January 18th, 2007 at 11:18 am
#215: His rhymes are like his politics, and commentary thereof. And his layouts. And his sense of humor. And his idea of a light drink after dinner. And his storytelling sense. And…….
January 18th, 2007 at 11:22 am
I’m really glad that Mary didn’t start yelling “Ella! Ella!” in her sleep on the plane.
January 18th, 2007 at 11:24 am
Poor, poor Lizardbreath. She is like the doomed protagonist in a Shakespearian tragedy. Fate has dealt her yet another cruel blow. The need to be with her own saintly kind is more evident than ever. Run to Granthony’s flaccid arms, Lizardbreath. Only emasculated, testosterone free wheenie males like him can be trusted.
January 18th, 2007 at 11:28 am
#180 Mibbitmaker
You stay up that late you get to get in all the good barbs first. When I saw (DT)GT I was horror-struck by that freak in the last panel — and as a regular reader, I’ve seen plenty of questionable characters. It’s like the head of a sixty-year old man pasted to the smaller body of a different 60-year old.
And FW: This is what we all love about it — it’s consistency. Could Harry get a promotion because he was a superior band director? Of course not. It’s because he’s going deaf. And probably has prostate cancer.
Back a few weeks ago I attempted to not read FW and did pretty well for about 2 weeks (I was spared the whole labor/delivery story). But one day my eyes sort of slid over it and BigHead Comix Guy was standing at the top of a fire escape with the very pregnant One-Armed Girl, and it seemed like it was snowing or raining and before I could look away I read “Be careful, Becky.” I didn’t go back to the strip for many days after that, but my presumption was she slipped on the stairs and had a miscarriage. It seemed so, I don’t know, FW.
January 18th, 2007 at 11:29 am
222 – Tracy got sick of all the filth on TV nowadays, so now he just wears a wrist DVD that plays wholesome movies from the 1930s-50s starring people like Jimmy Stewart and Doris Day.
January 18th, 2007 at 11:32 am
201 TurtleBoy – Thanks! Now I can claim my CC surfing is work related. I’ll start to work on the squid object.
January 18th, 2007 at 11:34 am
The blackface in today’s Judge Parker is extremely offensive.
January 18th, 2007 at 11:37 am
RMMD – I know I’m a little late on this but Mrs. Cook looks like George Washington.
OK, I’ll shut up now.
January 18th, 2007 at 11:45 am
RMMD: Hey, the white cop had it figured out. He’s come a long way since they were Smitty and Hoppy on “Sanford & Son”.
JP: “…And shopworn cliches must really agree with you, Aunt Rachel.”
MW: Oh, great, now Mary’s a psychic like ol’ Whatserface back in Charterstone. The now-stalled Biddie Wars should get a fresh start when Mare returns…
MT: Give it up, Morgan. You can’t win. Those beavers are like Droopy, and you’re the escaped wolf.
“You know what…..? I don’t understand his hostility.”
“We do this kind of thing to him all through the comic.”
PC: Like decades ago, when ‘Winslow’ just edged out ‘Tojo’.
Preteena: Forget that; why aren’t you two watching that ‘girl fight’ video?
January 18th, 2007 at 11:47 am
Reposted from another entry because I thought it was the last one when it was not because I am tired and need coffee so so badly:
FOOB: Nice to see the lessons the village people (YMCA!) taught Liz went in one pretty little white ear and out the other.
I think we need to see this:
Shannon (staggering into the Patterson dining room): Elizabeth Patterson’s … plane … was shot down … over the Sea of North … it spun in … there were no survivors *exhales and leaves*
*silence*
*Deanna chokes back a sob*
*silence*
John: *drops train caboose*
*everyone goes back to eating*
January 18th, 2007 at 11:55 am
#154 Poteet
I applaud your decision, though I was the weaker vessel. Of course, it’s in my paper, which makes it harder to avoid (I tried and failed). Plus it comes up here so often I might as well get into the pool. How ’bout if I read it so you don’t have to? That way it becomes a Noble Cause rather than a pathetic wimp out.
#208 Hogen Mogen
And I got a somewhat different take on Liz’s parting shot. First, why, as you imply, go there at all? I think as a true Patterson she had to have the last words which were, in essence, “You’re dead to me (me me).†To which Paul is probably thinking, “Uh, I thought we covered this three days ago, but if it makes you feel better, knock yourself out.â€
January 18th, 2007 at 12:03 pm
#231: My MT post had me thinking of more Droopy/Theodore&Castoria scenes:
Morgan chases “Lucky” to the point where Morgan skids around out of the panel into “Garfield” before returning to his own strip.
If an actual Tex Avery-made cartoon, we’d see the beavers making a dam. Dick shoos them away forward, taking the dam apart. As he does that, pan backwards where we see the beavers already finishing another dam. Dick Morgan’s ‘reaction shot’ would be a hoot!
January 18th, 2007 at 12:07 pm
#232 – It would be great if Shannon also said something like “yeah…see…Liz…I told…you so…I’m really…not as…dumb…as your sister…says.”
Then Anthony appears, and he and Shannon say to Liz “see…ya…sucker!” They embrace and leave Liz in (another) puddle of self despair and loathing. End of strip.
January 18th, 2007 at 12:09 pm
#233 – I’m with you – I wish she’d had a little dignity and gotten out of there without trying to get in a parting shot.
She might as well have said, “You’re going to live to regret this – one day you’ll wake up and realize that you let the best thing that ever happened to you walk out of your life.”
Which we know is wrong on all counts.
She should have just gotten the hell out of there and spared herself that “ooh snap attempt” with PaulandSusan. They mostly looked bored with her diatribe – now that she’s gone, they can get back to assgrabbing with impunity.
January 18th, 2007 at 12:13 pm
Hi folks – It’s me, Summerhouse.
Still home with the flu. Don’t touch this post and then bring your hand near your mouth, nose or eyes.
TDIET – I love that we are doing a squid count. Love it. I can think of nothing else except that I must change my user name to involve me more closely with this…this…squid counting. That might be the flu talking. We’ll see.
Mr. O’Malley - fantastic job on “Me and Jesse the Cree”. You should be proud.
Dingo- Do you watch James Caan on “Las Vegas” on Fridays? God, he’s a sexy man.
Red Greenback – Red, everyone is not privy to the jukebox in your head. Just suck it up and give the song title every time – not just for me, darlin’ but for you. Your efforts are going to waste, I’m sure. Yes, I recognize Ice, Ice Baby, but what’s the “eyes” one? Duran Duran?
Gil Thorp – You’re the third highest scorer, but you’re also Tony Curtis at age 68. There’s insurance problems.
Funky Winkerbean – I was going to bitch about the stupidity of thinking that any school board anywhere would create a pointless administrative music position when they are short books and equipment and science teachers, etc., when I realized that’s the wrong-headed kind of crap school boards are always doing. So Batiuk gets a pass on this one, from me.
Non-Sequitur – Sucks big time, today! There is no awning anywhere that is made like that. If you’re out of ideas, just draw a big dog or do a lame Abe Lincoln joke or something, don’t base your joke on something that would never exist on Earth.
Kate – Don’t you think these group therapy strips from Doonesbury are great? You posted a while back about Funky Winkerbean being soul-deadening, but Doonesbury sometimes making you feel glad to be alive (only you said it better than that) and I couldn’t agree more. Watching blonde woman (Donna?) in Funky Winkerbean tell one-armed mom Becky not to worry about going back to work made me want to throw gasoline on them and myself and light a match. But the Doonesbury strips make me genuinely hopeful.
January 18th, 2007 at 12:20 pm
If Scaduto really is a CC lurker, maybe after espying our squidspotting antics he’ll decide to work squid into every TDIET from now until the end of the year. This could easily get out of hand (or tentacle).
January 18th, 2007 at 12:28 pm
#188 Work it Like a Claw and Call Me
From the same FBoFW fansite, in 2002 an idiot writes:
“Anyone else out there who hopes Anthony doesn’t get married? We had a big climax with the date and then the subject was dropped. Elizabeth needs to wake up and ditch Eric and hope its not too late for Anthony.”
Looks like your getting your wish, pinhead!
January 18th, 2007 at 12:30 pm
#237: Certified Squid Acountantess-
Sorry about not naming that tune, I, too still have green matter interfering with my grey matter…The song was “Big Eyes” by Cheap Trick. Rest up and drink plenty of liquids.
January 18th, 2007 at 12:31 pm
Nicely phrased. The odd thing is that, I have to admit Lynn is very capable at creating (some) consistent characters that are true-to-life, Liz being one example. They just aren’t the characters Lynn thinks they are. That’s why we have to do all the heavy lifting and dissect Liz like she’s someone out of a Jane Austin novel and we’re a graduate seminar in Victorian Lit. Not that she’s worth it, but, well, there’s a freezing rain outside and it’s either this or work. Or the crossword, I suppose. Where’d I put the paper?
January 18th, 2007 at 12:31 pm
Information about making Kung Pao Squid can be found on the internet.
January 18th, 2007 at 12:35 pm
Oops! #241 was for Allie Cat (#236).
January 18th, 2007 at 12:48 pm
The Key to successful writing is knowing your audience. LJ has found and audience in the people who generally read the comics in a flash and then move on. And for the most part, her audience likes what they see.
The readers and posters here in Curmudgeonland are creating a college level course in Comparative Comic Strips where everything is dissected to the nth degree and hashed out.
Face it, LJ is not writing for this class.
January 18th, 2007 at 12:56 pm
TDIET as a live-action movie:
Today’s cast:
Lou Jacobi as Guido
Henry Kissenger as disgruntled/pleased patron
Bonnie Franklin as Winnie the Waitress
January 18th, 2007 at 12:59 pm
Peter Parker must’ve accidentally taken some estrogen suppliments today.
January 18th, 2007 at 1:02 pm
gh #241, my graduate degree is in media studies, not English/British literature, but I have to ask: how could Jane Austen be considered a writer of the Victorian era when Austen died in 1817 and Victoria was born in 1819?
Austen was writing about the Regency period.
January 18th, 2007 at 1:02 pm
Please let “Greta Weber” be a German dominatrix/nazi fugitive with a low tolerance for meddling Americans. I want to see Mary tied up with a ball gag in her mouth being forced to witness her boyfriends humiliation…
January 18th, 2007 at 1:05 pm
#141: Liz, one of my kids is in his high school marching band, and they still call the shoes “Dinkles”. The shoes are white, though, adding to the awesome bando-ness.
January 18th, 2007 at 1:05 pm
#241 – GH – In full disclosure, I did the whole “you’re about to let the best thing that ever happened to you walk out the door” speech when I was her age, and as it happens, I was right, which he later admitted to me – by which time, I had realized that him dumping me was the best thing that ever happened to me.
I hate watching the disintegration of relationships unfold, because the footing is never equal. One person always gets away relatively intact, and the other person is left completely disoriented, and often does something really dumb – which, I’m afraid in her case, may be falling into the false comfort of a relationship with Anthony.
I’m not crazy about how Lynn has forced this plot, but I’m not as anti-Anthony as some. I think he’d be a great catch for someone, just not necessarily Liz.
It’s just that the whole thing seems inorganic to me. I agree that Lynn does a great job growing some characters/plots, but in the case of both Michael and Liz, she’s paired them with mates (or is planning to) in a way that seems unrealistic.
Most people I know don’t marry their high school sweetheart, or the girl they pined for in elementary school, or whatever. They meet someone nice in their 20’s or 30’s, and they in turn create a new history for themselves.
Even the way Paul and Liz got together is forced. Paul falls in love with a photo? Seeks out Liz and she falls for him immediately? Isn’t the least bit freaked out by the fact that he more or less stalked her?
Lawrence and his partner, whose name escapes me – that was organic. Lynn had to work that through, rather than just being lazy and saying, “Oh – hey, guess what – Gordon is gay, too -they should pair up for life!” Sadly, she’d already had to pair up Gordon and Tracy.
Maybe I’ve put too much thought into this…
Bottom line is – it’s Lynn’s universe – can’t she create someone nice for Anthony that he meets at a single parent support group? Can’t Liz be at the grocery store one day and meet a nice guy who lives nearby but she hasn’t known forever?
My beef is that it’s just lazy to use people that already exist – they already have a history and you don’t have to create anything. I think she’s essentially wasted some characters she created as potential dates for Liz because it’s easier to use Anthony.
January 18th, 2007 at 1:12 pm
#247 Dingo
And I even went to Google and got all kinds of hits on Austen and the Victorian novel. Someone’s got some ’splainin’ to do!
January 18th, 2007 at 1:15 pm
Jonathan Bogart (#139) – Remember in the early 80s there being two comics in one day that referenced “Spaghetti Soup”. One of them was “Redeye” a (hopefully) now-discontinued strip about an Indian chief and his wacky adventures. Said chief wore one of those Billy Jack hats with a single feather sticking out, and wore a vest over his presumably-bare chest. A treasure trove of what I assume its creative team took to be humor.
January 18th, 2007 at 1:16 pm
It has to be said: Today’s Funky Winkerbean (Harry Dinkle’s return!!) would be a lot better if there was a final panel where the girl said “What?”
January 18th, 2007 at 1:17 pm
Pozzo #252 — your hopes are dashed.
http://www.kingfeatures.com/features/comics/redeye/aboutMaina.php
Josh
January 18th, 2007 at 1:18 pm
#237 (SC ne’e Summerhouse) I was going to bitch about the stupidity of thinking that any school board anywhere would create a pointless administrative music position when they are short books and equipment and science teachers, etc., when I realized that’s the wrong-headed kind of crap school boards are always doing. So Batiuk gets a pass on this one, from me.
Sweety, you really should stay away from FW until you’re feeling better…
Any semblance to the workings of an actual school board is purely coincidental here. Dinkle is just another broken hero for Batiuk to drag through the funky streets of the Tragic Kingdom; just another meat pinata in this Carnival of Souls, just another Cupie Doll hanging on a rusty hook in Satan’s ringtoss on the 24-hour boardwalk that rims the ninth circle of Hell.
Dinkle only got the job because he was forced to resign as band director because he was (wait for it…) going deaf!.
Next week: Dinkle gets his own secretary….because a train carrying hydrochloric acid flipped over on him and crushed his legs and set his arms on fire (which they beat out with a rake), so he can’t walk or sit up or move at all, really.
Eventually he’ll just be a head in a jar – imagine the perks!
January 18th, 2007 at 1:20 pm
Greta Weber?
Go raid eastern, Taoist Asians. Worry everyone before ending riddle.
January 18th, 2007 at 1:22 pm
I hope Mary gets a chance to play Mortal Kombat with a friend in Vietnam.
January 18th, 2007 at 1:26 pm
January 18th, 2007 at 1:39 pm
This isn’t exactly an anagram but a possible Greta Weber initialism would be:
Go Raid Eastern, Taoist Asians. Worry Everyone Before Ending Riddle.
January 18th, 2007 at 1:42 pm
#255 – “…just another meat pinata in this Carnival of Souls, just another Cupie Doll hanging on a rusty hook in Satan’s ringtoss on the 24-hour boardwalk that rims the ninth circle of Hell.”
Gold. I think I’ll steal it.
January 18th, 2007 at 1:43 pm
My beef is that it’s just lazy to use people that already exist – they already have a history and you don’t have to create anything. I think she’s essentially wasted some characters she created as potential dates for Liz because it’s easier to use Anthony.
Actually, I think the problem I have with it is more fundamental than that… I can’t escape the feeling that LJ wants Anthony to be happy, thinks that he somehow deserves happiness, and sees nothing wrong with pairing him up with Lizzie because that will in fact make him happy, even though that kind of behaviour should be fairly significantly out of character for a woman as young and flighty as Elizabeth so plainly is.
She’s indulging in a fairly ridiculous fantasy.
January 18th, 2007 at 1:48 pm
Inspired by Hogen Mogen, I read six or seven Mallard Fillmores in a row, which has put me off my feed. Man, does he have the enemies list down! Between grotesque troll Hillery, preppy, butt-chinned journalists, and pointy-headed education professors out to make a buck from their student victims, it’s a devastating critique of those who seek to destroy this great nation of ours. Including poetry experts—meter’s for weenies, people. Get down and give me twenty, commie milquetoast!
From the MF description: “He thinks average, hardworking Americans need a break instead of a lecture.”
January 18th, 2007 at 1:50 pm
#177 Red Greenback
Quality parody. However, my husband did have one observation:
“They missed a “doong” in the entry line.
It’s doong doong doong doong doonga doong doong
And really, it should be dashed, like this:
doong-doong doong-doong doonga doong-doong”
And yes, I did let him know that he is certainly one of the whitest of white boys to catch that.
January 18th, 2007 at 1:52 pm
#185 — Mr. O’Malley, I laughed out loud at this (but williethompson, I still love you too).
OK, for all of you pedants who have pointed out that I technically misused “steam,” can I get any street cred back by disclosing that I respond to be people who say “I could care less” by asking how much?
And don’t get me started on “irregardless.
January 18th, 2007 at 1:57 pm
Re FW: Band Director, Music Supervisor, who gives a shit? I saw this coming the minute they mentioned the mysterious ‘music supervisor’…I mean , who else could it be? At least they’re back to the semi-non-heartbreaking band ‘plot’ for a little while, but of course it won’t last. I was kinda hoping she was getting called to the office to hear that Wally got blown up, but I guess Batuik did find the good drugs.
January 18th, 2007 at 1:59 pm
I spent several years in Thailand (I don’t know from pho, but don’t get me started on paht thai) and I couldn’t help but pick up a bit of Buddhist sensibility almost through osmosis. I’d often see in the temples a line of monks chanting in Pali (a dead language that no one understands, so it was for the parishioners much like a Latin mass to Catholics, pre-Vatican II). The head monk would recite a line and the others would respond, sometimes with a simple tone, sometimes words, and the pure sonorous effect was distinctly soothing.
It’s a lousy, wet freezing rain afternoon here and I don’t know about you, but every so often (5 minutes) I see or read about some comic here that just about takes the top of my head off [say, Redeye – thank you SO much, Josh], so I thought I’d offer up a Buddhist chant on the Four Noble Truths for when you’re feeling it’s all too much. –ahem–
Lead monk –
“The First Noble Truth is Life is Suffering . . .â€
Respondents –
“Liz and Granthony
Sarge and Beetle
Bil and spawn
Funky Winkerbean
Mallard Fillmore
. . .
Cathyâ€
Lead Monk –
“The Second Noble Truth is The Origin of Suffering is Attachment . . . “
Respondents –
“Ahmmmmm Margo.
Ahmmmmm Abbey.
Ahmmmmm Neddy.
Ahmmmmm Abbey and Neddy.
Ahmmmmm Margo walks in on Abbey and Neddy.
Ahmmmmm Margo walks in on Abbey and Neddy, raises eyebrow, purses lips, pulls off turtleneck, starts “finger quotin’â€
Yummmmmmmmmmmâ€
Lead Monk –
“The Third Noble Truth is The Cessation of Suffering is Attainable . . . “
Respondents –
“Paul and Susan.
That’s about it, folks.â€
Lead Monk –
“The Fourth Noble Truth is There is a Path to The Cessation of Suffering. . . “
Respondents –
“Bucky . . .
Bwahahahahahahaâ€
January 18th, 2007 at 2:02 pm
254 Redeye
Redeye is a “Warm Parody?” Distributed in over 100 papers? I remember that from like decades ago. Its still here and Rip Kirby is gone? Woe is me.
My “Talking Trilobite” comic idea seems more reasonable every day.
Skipping now to FOOB, Liz did’t do the classic “burn on my way out” goodbye (i.e, saying something like, “You may think Paul is a good catch now, but consider this: If he’d cheat on me, we will cheat on you someday too. Think about that every night when he is *supposedly* out on patrol…)
But she came close.
If she really wants her revenge, she’ll wait a few weeks and then have April repeatedly call up and ask for Paul.
But she’d never do that. Or even sock him.
January 18th, 2007 at 2:07 pm
FBOW — Much to her surprise, and disappointment, Liz discovers on her final confrontation with Dudley and Sue, that rather than being angry, like all of the friendly people in FirstNation Village they are willing to forget about their differences and instead they invite Liz in for a 3-way. Hey Liz. Of course they know about all of the friendly people in the village. After all these are the people that kept their mouths shut and never told YOU about what was going on.
January 18th, 2007 at 2:08 pm
#236 – Liz’s parting shot is indeed pretty feeble, because Paul has such an obvious rejoinder – “Thanks, but I already figured that out!”
Now the next move has to be to get rid of the pesky Warren, someone who has the stones to act on his feelings – and thus is clearly unsuitable to be a Patterson partner. He will be the victim in a game of Shoot the Messenger, because he didn’t tell Liz up front what was going on. Never mind that she herself couldn’t even make a phone call to say she was arriving early – that would have disturbed the natural order of the Foobocalypse.
Hey, Liz, I hear Tommie Thompson might be free for lunch!
January 18th, 2007 at 2:10 pm
Continuing on the theme of not-so-subtle gay subtext in Beetle Bailey, I will point out that in today’s strip, Sarge uses the word “divine”.
January 18th, 2007 at 2:13 pm
And the cast of Dinette Set are the LAST cartoon characters I want to be looking at when forced to think about the words “rock-hard” and “groin”.
January 18th, 2007 at 2:15 pm
FW: I’m convinced that Batuik hates his characters. At some point in the last 15 years or so, he decided he hates his job as a comic strip but has no other marketable skills so he has to continue writing his strip. So what does he do? He takes his hatred of his job and his agressions out on his characters. He afflicts them with terrible diseases, horrible addictions, loss of body parts, hostile and ugly divorces etc. He takes out the fact that he hates his job by punishing all his characters.
Band director, Harry Dinkle had somehow escaped his wrath for many years. He remained the same happy band director who liked his job. Batuik has finally realized he overlooked Dinkle and given him an ironic affliction for someone who makes a living with music, hearing loss. Dinkle must now trudge on in an embarrassing and demeaning position created just for him, since he has no other marketable skills.
Crazy, the mailman, and the guy who own’s the pizza place who’s name I can’t remember also seem to still be happy. It’s only a matter of time until they have some sort of affliction. I predict that Crazy loses the use of his legs so that he can no longer do his mail route and the pizza guy gets some horrible skin disease where he can’t prepare food without infecting others.
The hot chick that works in the pizza place seems to be doing ok too. I predict that she is horribly disfigured somehow in a future strip. No FW character can ever have a good happy life. It’s a rule.
January 18th, 2007 at 2:20 pm
Re today’s FOOB: What’s happened to Constable Paul’s right hand and forearm in the fourth panel? Have they been changed by Liz’s withering stare? (She does seem to be looking in that direction.) Or are they atrophying from lack of use now that Susan’s around?
Just asking.
January 18th, 2007 at 2:28 pm
Why would it matter if a band director was deaf? Some would consider it a plus.
January 18th, 2007 at 2:36 pm
# 166 & 174 — Yes, Trilobite, listen to wise Uncle Lumpy. He knows whereof he speaks, and the mantra works. Though in my case, when it IS Foob, I mutter “it’s not Gil Thorp, it’s not Gil Thorp.” I have no idea what the Gil Thorp followers mutter.
# 185 — Thanks, Mr. O’Malley. I needed that.
# 233 — gh, I’m afraid you overestimated me. I hate FW, but I’m probably going to keep reading it, partly in hope that something awful will happen to Platitude-Dispensing Smirking Blonde. And I agree with you re Foob. I really hope that as soon as Liz was safely down the road, Chipper and Suds did a happy dance and then had a boinkfest.
January 18th, 2007 at 2:39 pm
And I think Dick Tracy lost his thumbs plugging his brain so his thought beans wouldn’t spill out.
January 18th, 2007 at 2:48 pm
Oh God, Oh God, Oh God!
Almost 30 hours since the last Curmudgeon update. I am starting to detox. I need another hit.
January 18th, 2007 at 2:48 pm
Looking at Aunt Rachel, why do I suspect that Neddy is going to spend more time learning to use the proper fork than studying art? And how do we know she’s going to the art institute to study, anyway, as opposed to being, say, a life model? That would be pretty cool, though the Freep would have to haul out of retirement the old guy that used to blot out Modesty Blaise.
Coming up: Neddy loses her virginity in a Paris elevator, while sub-butler Cedric gets trashed and takes her careening around the city on a high-speed limo ride, thereby enabling her to emulate both 20th-century icons of fashion-conscious American women.
January 18th, 2007 at 2:51 pm
NIce analysis, Jason. It’s Montoni’s, in case you were simmering in anxiety about that memory hole. More information on Funky Winkerbean may be found on the internet.
January 18th, 2007 at 2:53 pm
#274 Hap Hapless just nailed down COTW. Pithy but brilliant.
January 18th, 2007 at 2:54 pm
#279 – Remus – I always thought it was interesting that Montoni’s was just a syllable away from being Monotoni’s – which sums it up about as well as I know how. Are we ever going to get back to Darren and Jessica – I want teen sex with consequences, and I want it NOW!
January 18th, 2007 at 3:01 pm
C’mon, guys, aren’t you being a little harsh on the Foobstress? Sure she’s done some dumb things, but it’s not entirely her fault that Lynn Johnston seems compelled to create an inescable life-partner singularity around Granthony. Lizardbreasts can flail helplessly against that black hole all she wants, but we all know that Lynn will get her way in the end, Paul and Warren be damned.
January 18th, 2007 at 3:03 pm
Er, I’m the one who posted the above. ^
January 18th, 2007 at 3:04 pm
Hi & Lois – When I was a little girl, I thought Trixie the baby was the cutest comic character I ever saw. This old lady baby-headed Trixie has erased that fond childhood memory forever.
January 18th, 2007 at 3:09 pm
FW: Harry Dinkle…Crazy Harry. It’s lazy writing to give two of your characters the same first name. (They’re not father and son, far as I know.)
FBOW: Every time Liz knocks on the door, Susan is “coming!”
(…Which leads me to wonder if, when the inevitable Anthony hookup takes place, we’ll be subjected to a Very Special Week of strips in which 25-year-old Elizabeth agonizes over finally losing her virginity?)
TDIET: Comedy 101 –
Funny fruit: kumquat
Funny entree: squid.
Memorize these handy tips, would-be humorists, and watch the jokes practically write themselves!
January 18th, 2007 at 3:12 pm
Don’t forget the hysterical names – Loopy, Loopina, Arfo, Barfo, Barfina, et al.
Comedy gold!
January 18th, 2007 at 3:18 pm
FW: My guess is that Dinkle’s promotion will create an opportunity for Stumpy, and when she tries to call her hubby with the good news, she learns he’s dead.
FBOW: Liz delivers her “zinger” from 30 feet away. Paul and Susan ask each other “What did she say?”
MT: Uh-oh, the beavers are in danger again. For a couple days.
January 18th, 2007 at 3:19 pm
#286 Dennis Jimenez
Barfretta, Barfella, Barfeaux, Barfolomew. Please, Scaduto, stop! My sides are aching!
January 18th, 2007 at 3:22 pm
Foob: Who really knocks on a door, starts a conversation with someone, and then starts walking away mid-conversation talking over their shoulder as they go? I mean, besides Liz Patterson.
January 18th, 2007 at 3:25 pm
Found a webcomic with hilarious FOOB action:
http://crap.jinwicked.com/?comic=311
Enjoy.
January 18th, 2007 at 3:25 pm
233 – You totally nailed the Liz visits Chipper and Suds one last time scene. Perfect.
In my pathetic real life, I had a boyfriend who continually called me after it was over to tell me how glad he was that it was over and that he had moved on with his life.
(Not the going-to-prison-any-day-now for the middle eastern money laundering scheme guy. That guy keeps sending me photos of himself with his new BMW.)
January 18th, 2007 at 3:29 pm
Tommina, you must not know many teenage girls. Liz Patterson is supposed to be an adult but shows every indication of having the maturity of a 15-year-old Orange County girl who believes she deserves a quinceañera even though her family isn’t of Mexican descent. Her life is all “me, me, me!”
Paul, you dodged a bullet.
January 18th, 2007 at 3:29 pm
Tommina, 289: Well, I can think of one person –
http://joshreads.com/?p=804#comment-78131
(See comment number 43)
January 18th, 2007 at 3:29 pm
#235 – Calico says “Then Anthony appears, and he and Shannon say to Liz “see…ya…sucker!†They embrace and leave Liz in (another) puddle of self despair and loathing. End of strip.”
That would work better if Shannon says to Liz “I… may.. not be.. a… smart… woman,.. but.. I.. know.. what… LOVE is…”
January 18th, 2007 at 3:32 pm
261: It’s like Marianne Dashwood in Sense and Sensibility, I’m telling you. Colonel Whatsisface (Brandon?) is about twice Marianne’s age, but he’s such a great guy that her mother and older sister decide that he deserves to marry her, and more or less pressure her into it. Their reasoning? “Oh, she’ll probably grow to love him once they’re married anyway.”
Let that be a lesson, all you adventurous romantic women….
I do love Jane Austen, by the way.
January 18th, 2007 at 3:34 pm
AppleGirl #291: Are these photos of him naked? It just doesn’t do any good to have yourself photographed next to a new BMW and send the photos to a former lover unless you’re standing next to said BMW totally buckass naked showing off the weight you’ve lost or muscles you’ve gained since the breakup. In the world of Lynn Johnston, this allows the recipient of the photo to look at it and remark, “What a dick.” You know what you mean but the sender thinks you’re cooing and sighing over his accoutrement.
It’s in the Guy Book we all get on our 12th birthday. Chapter 17, page 286.
January 18th, 2007 at 3:39 pm
#294 Hogen Mogen
Works for me. Not that Liz would get it, of course.
January 18th, 2007 at 3:44 pm
#293: rich, I stand corrected. That provides a chilling glimpse of what Liz will be like in 50 years. A cranky old biddy in the Great North, bitter after a long, loveless marriage to Anthony.
January 18th, 2007 at 3:53 pm
281 – Allie Cat – who doesn’t really? But I for one was befuddle by who the hell Darren and Jessica are! Are they second gen (3rd?) winkerbeaners or was that a flashback period, or were they new characters? But yes, yes, the teenage sex/french maid/threesome oddness did liven up the strip – for a second.
January 18th, 2007 at 3:56 pm
FOOB: Nope don’t get it – neither this or the silly harmonica strips. (and how old and rusted is that harmonica? and it has to sound like hell). Well Liz is on her way to a self pity party at home with her parents – and then a fall into the pale fabby arms of the mustache and a lifetime of suburban bland hell. Only Lyn would think this is a happy ending. The rest of us will wait for the overdose of sleeping pills that Liz is bound to take in Few years.
On a side note the harmonica explains why Grandad got the stroke – when you cast a curse you need something personal of the intended victim. The town thought the harmonica’s was liz’s not her grandfather’s so he suffered the stroke they intended for liz. See it’s a good strip it does make sense. No it doesn’t – ah well back to hitting my head with a rock.
FW: A Music Supervisor who is losing his hearing – sheesh – is the head of the audio visual Department going blind as well?
MW – I’m still not conviced that Mary isn’t in Ohio somewhere the victim of a very elaborate ruse of the Aldo Family to break her mind.
January 18th, 2007 at 3:57 pm
FW: I’m guessing that the hatless Harry Dinkle was inspired in part by the helmet-less BD in Doonesbury. They even have the same hair.
January 18th, 2007 at 3:59 pm
I tire of FOOB. Like many of you, the tinfoil-bitingly predictability, the ham-fisted telegraphing and now the snarky little over the shoulder toss-off to Dudley DooRight and his squaw du jour – it’s making my brain proteins denature. So, as Tito Puente said in the Who Shot Mr. Burns? Simpsons episode, I want to kill the FOOBs with a song:
Here come ol’ Lizard
she come just a day early
She catch Paul and Susan
she call him a cheater
She got tears – sobs – has to flee
Now she know what they all know in M-ti-gwa-ki
What was she thinking
she so passive-aggressive
She so selfish-centered
she got brain like moose turds
She say “Why did Paul cheat on me?â€
‘Cause he get no poontang from our little Liz-zie?
Come this summer – she get – Anthony
Joe-pouring teacher he say
“Paul a native,
“Susan share his culture,
“You a white chick crackerâ€
He speak truth – girl – can’t you see?
What make you think you handle living in a teepee?
Do we hafta – get stuck – with Anthony?
She go to Susan
but we change the plotline
Sue go Karla Homolka
Paul got shiny handcuff
He say “One and one and one is threeâ€
Got to find her rotting corpse eventually
Come this summer – send bones – to Anthony
that’s Come Together, ‘Squid Countess”
January 18th, 2007 at 4:00 pm
285 (Me): Now, you might be saying “But Rich, are you sure about this virginity thing? What about all those cold northern nights with Paul? Didn’t he ever cause her to scream “Commminnng!!!”? And what about that old live-in boyfriend, Eric?
Oh, come on. This is Elizabeth Patterson we’re talking about. Her oh-pee-chee is tighter than a …(flip, flip, flip — Scaduto Guide, don’t fail me now! — ah, got it!) … tighter than a squid’s ass at 30 fathoms!
January 18th, 2007 at 4:02 pm
#268 – man behind the curtain – Maybe you’re right, and Liz is really just being sarcastic when she references all the great people in Mtiwikiwacki. She finds out her peeping Tom is also a thief, her old boss Gary is a racist, and her replacement teacher is a man-stealing whore. On top of it all, the whole town was well aware of Officer Paul’s dalliances. “Yeah, Paul, if you need a friend, there are lots of great people here. Yeah, just f’ckn GREAT F’CKN PEOPLE – ALL OF YOU!”
I sort of think Blandthony was modled after Henry Goldblume from Hill Street Blues. Didn’t he have a moustache, too? The difference is that Henry was actually a nice guy. That means that he didn’t sit around and burden other people with his despair, nor did he do stupid, limp-dicked things but pay other people to walk around spewing about how smart, funny and caring he is. He was a far more fleshed out character who even blew his top at one particular suspect and started beating the crap out of him. *smack* *smack* “Go ahead and tell someone that I hit you. Go ahead! *smack* Guess what? NO ONE will beleive you because you’re a sick pervert, and I – AM – A – NICE – GUY!!!”
Score: Henry Goldblume:1, Perp:0, Blandthony:-2
January 18th, 2007 at 4:02 pm
Greta Weber is an anagram of “Great Beer, W” and MW will join The Boondocks in the exalted ranks of comic strips willing to speak truth to power and point out that W is still a drunk. That this will happen in Vietnam just adds to the dramatic irony.
January 18th, 2007 at 4:11 pm
#291 — Apple Girl –
I’m old and fat and flattulent and broke and underemployed with a 15-year-old car that leaks when it rains and cigarette burns in all but my best clothes (my best clothes being a “More information on licorice…” t-shirt), I live in my mother’s basement, drink wine in from boxes and chew anti-depressants like Pez… and I still think I might turn out to be the best boyfriend you’ve ever had.
January 18th, 2007 at 4:13 pm
Damn wille thompson, you upped the ante again!! Curse you and your perfect choice of song and smooth melodic mocking of lyrics. You make the rest of us hang our heads when contemplating similar attempts. It’s like Becka (wans’t that that fooBritney’s name?) trying to take the stage with Aretha.
January 18th, 2007 at 4:18 pm
#213: “FOOB: Why do I keep expecting one more panel where the house that Liz is walking away from suddenly explodes in a ball of fire as Liz calmly walks away?”
Here ya go.
January 18th, 2007 at 4:19 pm
#299 – Remus-
A quick primer on the younger Winkerbeanians
Jessica Darling is daughter of the late John Darling, who was the title character of a short-lived strip also by Tom Batuik. John Darling was murdered, his strip ended, and in Winkerbean World, Les wrote a book about the murder that TANKED.
Darren Fairgood is the adopted son of (Prinicipal) Fred Fairgood and Ann Fairgood – Darren’s biological mother is none other than Lisa Moore (wife of Les) who got pregnant with Darren when she had teenage sex with the ultimate consequence with a guy named, I believe, Frankie from Walnut Tech. She kept the baby, Les was her birthing coach, and she gave it up for adoption.
Darren, Lisa, et al haven’t figured out the connection yet, but it’s only a matter of time.
Confused? You won’t be after this episode of…Soap.
January 18th, 2007 at 4:20 pm
#255 – SPOI – Good point! I can’t believe it’s Funky Winkerbean and I was focused on the school board bending over backwards to help Harry rather than Harry is going deaf and losing the only thing that gives his life meaning. I really do have the flu.
If enough people deliberately focused on the “non-9th level of Hell” aspects of the strip, say the efforts of the school board vs Harry’s imminent deafness, or (I’m guessing) Les’s renewed love of teaching brought on by student support when Lisa dies – would Batuik’s head explode? Man, that would be cool.
January 18th, 2007 at 4:22 pm
#255 – SPOI, I laughed aloud at this post:
Dinkle is just another broken hero for Batiuk to drag through the funky streets of the Tragic Kingdom; just another meat pinata in this Carnival of Souls, just another Cupie Doll hanging on a rusty hook in Satan’s ringtoss on the 24-hour boardwalk that rims the ninth circle of Hell.
I had to read it aloud to companions, who then all toasted your way with words. You have just described most of us on Thursday afternoons.
January 18th, 2007 at 4:23 pm
#308 Shannon – FOOB go FOOOOM! Thanks for doing that!
January 18th, 2007 at 4:23 pm
Yep, I knew it. Finally a ‘happy” Funkerbean, and there’s still complaints. If Lizard found a main squeeze that’s not Granthony, whine, whine, whine….
January 18th, 2007 at 4:27 pm
302- That was great!
303- Only an educated guess (prove me wrong!), BUT I think squid have cloacae, rather than asses.
306- When that happens, you will be a Plugger.
January 18th, 2007 at 4:27 pm
Thank you kindly for that, Allie Cat. I had no idea. As I mentioned in a previous post, there’s a hole in my Winkerbean history that goes straight from happy go lucky but stupid strip about geeks, jocks and an anal retentive band leader straight into Depressoville. So I guess I missed all that. Danke Schon for taking the time to educate..
January 18th, 2007 at 4:47 pm
And we can expect Comics Curmudgeon tinfoil beanies as the latest item in the Comics Curmudgeon store by… when?
January 18th, 2007 at 4:49 pm
143, Gg83 I know what you mean–my lovely and well-meaning but clueless granny gave me a Garfield calendar once. The only image that I can clearly remember is Garfield sprawled out in a large bowl of a certain picnic favorite. His thought balloon said “So this is what it feels like to be potato salad”.
January 18th, 2007 at 4:53 pm
Genetic_Mishap, thanx for that FOOB link. Is that artist a lynnion by any chance?
January 18th, 2007 at 4:54 pm
Okay, I’ve slept on it, and I’ve come to grips with the continuity glitch in Judge Parker.
Obviously Old Butler Withers, weakened by the flu, was unable to fight off Cedric the Canadian Cannibal’s assault. His meat went into the canapes, and the rest of him went into the new Withers skin-suit that Cedric is wearing in the first panel.
The old lady is too blind to see that far and too senile to recall that Withers isn’t supposed to be around, while Abbey and Neddy are simply too self-absorbed to really notice it. And even if they did, they’d probably think it was just some delightful Parisian custom.
See? Now it all makes sense! The introduction of the Canadian guy, his Sin City ninja-cannibal glasses, the strip about canapes…it’s all clear to me now.
…well, it’s either that, or even the Judge Parker team doesn’t give a rat’s ass about these people, and I suppose that’s more likely. But in my first idea at least one character is dead and several others could follow, so I’m going to believe in it for as long as I can.
January 18th, 2007 at 4:55 pm
Is Lizardbreath going to star in “Tess D’Fooberville” very soon?
Tragic, tragic, tragic…maybe it’s something Thomas would Hardly write about….
January 18th, 2007 at 4:58 pm
#308 – Beautiful. Just beautiful.
Also, in FOOB, I like Liz’s final “fuck you” disguised as a “let’s stay friends” line. It’s the iron fist in the velvet glove, I tells ya. Not that it makes her any less of a bitch.
January 18th, 2007 at 5:11 pm
Haiku
Harmonica trill.
A constable’s shout: “Coming!”
Mtigwaki night.
(I can get this comic away from my brain.)
January 18th, 2007 at 5:13 pm
Oops — can’t.
January 18th, 2007 at 5:24 pm
MT: The beavers have now made four dams. That’s four times the amount of trees lost than if the guy hadn’t fucked with them in the first place.
January 18th, 2007 at 5:28 pm
Anyone care that Mort Park kicked the bucket in “RudyPark”??
January 18th, 2007 at 5:30 pm
324- Or simply shot them to begin with – perhaps along with some comments that “Beavers is good eatin.’ “
January 18th, 2007 at 5:43 pm
“Wow, so I bet you never thought that the latest chapter of Beetle Bailey’s ongoing storyline about Beetle’s failure to bust a move on Miss Buxley would take a turn for the regulations-breaking same-sex affectionate.”
Actually, I noticed the Sarge’s suppressed affection for Beetle, among other things, a few weeks back.
This has been on the horizon for some time,,,
January 18th, 2007 at 5:51 pm
#194 Pozzo–Clearly, the word you’re looking for here is that most vile and loathsome of all obscenities, the word that one dare only whisper.
Of course, I mean “Semprini.”
January 18th, 2007 at 5:54 pm
Great question in today’s “Ripley’s– Believe It Or Not”.. Answer in Fridays strip..
Q: How many mosquito bites would it take to drain an average person of Blood??
A- 150,000 Bites
B- 1.2 Million Bites
C- 20,000,000 Bites
January 18th, 2007 at 5:58 pm
#329 AwfulArt–I don’t know about a regular person, but I’m pretty sure it would only take a mosquito 2 bites to drain all the blood out of Granthony Caine.
And then the mosquito would die of Wuss Poisoning.
January 18th, 2007 at 6:02 pm
302: “You a white chick cracker,” ha! Lennon would be proud.
January 18th, 2007 at 6:11 pm
#308
Awesome. Awesome to the max.
January 18th, 2007 at 6:11 pm
Oh.
And, Apple Girl,
I forgot to mention the boil on my semprini.
January 18th, 2007 at 6:11 pm
Oh.
And, Apple Girl,
I forgot to mention the boil on my semprini.
January 18th, 2007 at 6:21 pm
Dingo– re: post #158–Happy now? :)
And you’re right…Idol wasn’t even “so bad it’s good” last night (a sober Paula is a boring Paula).
January 18th, 2007 at 6:31 pm
#308 – That’s exactly it. Thanks much.
January 18th, 2007 at 6:46 pm
Awful Art: Yes, I was quite sad about Mort’s demise. Who will man the bullhorn now? RIP, Mort. Say hi to Aldo for us if you see him.
January 18th, 2007 at 6:58 pm
I cast my imaginary COTW ballot for #330.
January 18th, 2007 at 6:59 pm
You know, I’ve got to admit that I secretly fantasize about dating Lizzy Patterson, maybe even proposing to her, just so I, too, could break her self-righteous, whitebread, movin’-back-in-with-my-family-cause-I-can’t-stand-not-eatin’-breakfast-with-them-everyday-of-my-goin’-nowhere-fast-life, whiney-assed, narcissistic, platitude spewin’, thought balloonin’ heart. Pathetic. I’ve really got to work harder on my fantasies!
Alas, Maiden Foob is going to find ultimate satisfaction with the ‘Stache. She’ll even get him and the Spawn to move in with the rest of the Patterson clutch.
I’m still unsure whether or not Lynn Johnston purposely makes here characters so unattractive.
January 18th, 2007 at 7:02 pm
MossMoses: I’d answer but I don’t know what a “lynnion” is.
January 18th, 2007 at 7:11 pm
Zits: Yet another reason why having a wired phone in the house would be good~ And how can she kiss the phone? Who knows where it’s been?? At least show her sterilizing it or something.
Get Fuzzy: More phone jokes… And removing that duct tape is going to be painful. To be there to hear the tortured screams of the wannabe hipster.
Baby Blues: How convenient to have the pudding on the counter… Were they planning on doing something more interesting with it shortly?
Blondie: So reminiscent of that WWII kiss picture except Blondie is bent over even further backwards… She either looks taken aback or like she wants to slap him with her right.
And is the dog smiling in that last panel?! And in order for his bag to end up on that side, he would have had to drop it probably after initiating the hug. Ooh, maybe a large bruise on Blondie’s back in the morning…
Luann: I can’t tell if it’s a rip on feminism, beauty queens, or monarchies.
I know that tiaras, diadems and other such headgear are huge for little girls, but to blindly follow someone based solely on that? Beauty pageant winners of the world would have large followings of subservient little girls at their disposal. Imagine the military possibilities. (And those loli ones too…)
One Big Happy: Avis is garish… She looks like a reject from “Whatever Happened to Baby Jane?” And Rose has the babushka/old woman from fairy tales look down pat.
9CL: I was expecting to see a board meeting with everyone in their new underwear… Fully clothed, of course. THE IMAGE! IT BURNS!!!
But no, we get humans misunderstanding animals.
January 18th, 2007 at 7:29 pm
Okay, while I agree that Liz’s random decision to move back south–not just to Toronto, but in with her parents–is pretty lame, not to mention inconsiderate to Paul, I can’t help but sympathize with her here. I mean, c’mon–Paul didn’t even do the fading away, doesn’t-call-for-two-weeks thing. He was calling every night and making kissy noises on the phone, not just making everything seem fine but actually GREAT–luring her aaalll the way up North with the intention to…dump her as soon as she arrived?! I mean, phone break-ups are lame, but having her waste all that money on tickets and then break up with her, presumably leaving her with no place to stay (excpet with the kindly villagers) is thoughtless and selfish indeed.
And hey, at least she was always honest with him–apparently, thanks to Lynn, she did really want to move back south, and at least she didn’t stay up north while pulling the martyr act the whole time. Paul could’ve broken up with her when she left. But he didn’t. He didn’t even call her and break up when it seemed like he wanted to move on. He proved himself to be just as ball-less as Anthony and cheated on her.
So yes, I liked her parting shot. The sweet, pathetic cliche of “If you ever need a friend, you always have me” was nicely altered to a pretty cuttingly ambiguous zinger.
And I guess I’m just a naive sucker, but I really hope that she runs to Warren for comfort instead of…you know who. Or a new character will come in. Or ANYTHING.
January 18th, 2007 at 7:57 pm
Shannon, #308, you totally made my day!! Thanks for posting the alternate ending to the Mtigwhatever saga!
I know I don’t post much, but want to say that you all rule, and especially Josh, for getting and keeping this place going. I feel so let down by the Foobiverse, especially as a Canadian and a woman, that I’m really beginning to take it personally. I don’t know how I would survive it without the Comics Curmudgeon.
January 18th, 2007 at 8:11 pm
MonkeyHawk – 306, 333, 334 – Be still, my heart.
FBoFW – Why does Liz have to wind up with anyone? Wouldn’t it be more fitting to have her continue alone in life, with her heart growing smaller and her derriere getting bigger with each passing day?
FW – I don’t read Funky Winkerbean. From the CC, I know why. But….his name’s Harry Dinkle? No, really, what’s his name? No, really. It’s actually Harry Dinkle? Sounds like a good name for a fluffer to me.
MT – And I still hate those stupid beavers.
January 18th, 2007 at 8:14 pm
#302 Wille – Unbelievably awesome. I’m so glad I stole your Mont Blanc pen to remember you by.
How do we know Paul and Liz talked every night? I don’t remember that. She said that they talked on the phone and wrote to (e-mailed) one another…and I know we saw her making kissy noises on the phone at him that time before she hit April with a pillow…but every night? What evidence have we of this?
January 18th, 2007 at 8:51 pm
242: M*A*S*H* reference. Coolness. Very Well Done. Dry, drier, driest. :)
January 18th, 2007 at 8:53 pm
Dammit…it was 232. I’ll learn to count someday. Mea culpa, and a big dogging maxima culpa.
January 18th, 2007 at 8:59 pm
#340 GM: “Lynnions” are like hellions, or minions of hell, except instead of serving Satan they serve Lynn Johnston.
So, minions of hell.
January 18th, 2007 at 9:03 pm
285: I hope not Rich. When Luann’s mother showed her how to use pads, it was weeks before I could pick up a newspaper again. Luckily my family was good enough to read Bloom County to me.
January 18th, 2007 at 9:10 pm
#341: “9CL: I was expecting to see a board meeting with everyone in their new underwear… Fully clothed, of course. THE IMAGE! IT BURNS!!!
But no, we get humans misunderstanding animals.”
Ah, c’mon. The cat rubbing against the John was pure comedy gold.
And I’m the guy who usually HATES the cat episodes.
January 18th, 2007 at 9:13 pm
Loved the cartoon Shannon. I feel so cleansed…
January 18th, 2007 at 9:18 pm
I’d just like to give props to my man Shannon for his awesome revision of FOOB in comment #308. He’ll do it every time!*
*Shannon will not “do it” on the sabbath day, while he’s in the shower, in months ending with “ruary”, while on seafaring voyages, or if he’s just feeling grumpy. Other than that, he will indeed do it EVERY TIME.
January 18th, 2007 at 9:46 pm
I was just looking at the Toronto Star comics section and was struck by today’s Adam @ home. Fish tacos? Seriously? Wow. Sorry to inflict this on you folks but… I dunno, it kind of blew me away.
January 18th, 2007 at 9:54 pm
jeez i laughed at this garfield – but not as hard as grandma trixie – you guys are way to harsh… if you can do a better comic 365 then do it.
January 18th, 2007 at 9:55 pm
#328 Nyssa23 – MonkeyHawk is so confused. Evidently, the boil on his semprini has metastized and he believes he’s Scott of the Antarctic (beware the electric penguin). Spam, spam, spam, etc.
#345 Squid Countess – get better, OK darlin’? And gimme back the damn pen!
January 18th, 2007 at 10:05 pm
no wait – the comic i laughed the most… was the foobville parody with the chooz-chooz-chooz me joke
January 18th, 2007 at 10:14 pm
Swooners still taking a beating in “Tank McNamara”…!!!
January 18th, 2007 at 10:16 pm
DT Tess admits it at last – Tracy’s dick is just okay.
As for the FBI’s new abiltiy – Feds, read what I’m thinking right now. Uh huh. Twice around to your mother, pal.
S-M Waa. Waaa. Wuss.
BB I know it’s stereotyping and I apologize ahead of time, but I notice Sarge sure knows to underscore his musical numbers with jazz hands.
But one question: do sergeants always wear a dress uniform while out on a march?
January 18th, 2007 at 10:36 pm
Right Phil. Also, if you can’t play a whole season of Football you shouldn’t criticize a teams performance, or if you can’t put a whole movie together otherwise you can’t say it’s a bad movie.
Critisicm is horrible and should be stopped before it hurts some feelings.
January 18th, 2007 at 10:40 pm
DT: first panel…for about three minutes, and then your all SPOO!, g’night Dear
Second panel…$ three-eighty
Third panel…YEE GODS!, that’s gotta be the biggest Kachina ever!
January 19th, 2007 at 12:02 am
What’s with all the youtube stories in the comics? Is YouTube’s new owners (google) paying for you funny-page product placement?
“Fast Track”, “Edge City”, and “Preteena” are all running YouTube story arcs. Coincidence?!? I don’t think so! I think it’s a sinister plot by the newspapers to make us realize how horrible the Internet is.
January 19th, 2007 at 12:19 am
# 358 True Fable – Bwhahaha!! Thanks – I liked the “twice around to your mother, pal” bit.
# 345 Squid Countess – I don’t know if I should be the one answering this, but I think in the “monthly letters” Liz made several mentions of talking on the phone to Paul every night and using Skype to communicate. I say “I think” because I WILL NOT to go to the foob website and read them myself – I’m just repeating what I remember from posts by hardier folk than I who actually read the letters every month (OK, so I did read them that one time when I learned here that the January letters were posted early through an apparent oversight- but that’s IT! There are some things no human being, nay, no conscious form of life should have to suffer through!). To me, the “letters” are another sign the strip should be retired – They’re a bit of a cheat, really, because she crams some of the action that belongs in the strip into the letters instead. I think you can go to the foob archives and read them, but if you do be warned that you will be going down a dark road, which may very well lead to unspeakable horrors and terror beyond measure.
January 19th, 2007 at 12:32 am
1/19 –
A3G — Tommie, try online dating or solo gourmet cooking or Jane Austin or a sturdy vibrator or whatever, but please stop moping and making me want to whack you upside the head. Thank you.
MT — The only two halfway-appealing characters in the current storyline, and Dickhead still wants to shoot them. Figures.
RM — Brilliant, June. By leaving purse-thief Niki alone in your vehicle, you can not only ensure that he’ll be whacked by Elvis, but with a little luck, you’ll also end up with a new car from the insurance company. Be sure to leave the key in the ignition!
January 19th, 2007 at 12:34 am
DT: Nice of you to check with Diet first before you gave his multikajillion dollar machine to the FBI. Dick.
January 19th, 2007 at 12:57 am
296 – No Dingo, not naked. He’s back east in DC, wearing a new ski parka. I believe it’s cold enough in DC to render any naked photos… um… unimpressive.
The Guy Handbook you mentioned is something I always suspected you guys get, but you are the first guy who’s ever verified it as fact! We girls don’t get a handbook when we’re 12. Just a brochure from Kotex called “World of a Girl.”
Should I be sending him photos of myself in California with my old beater BMW? If I was Liz Patterson, this would serve as further proof that I am totally over him and moving on with my life.
January 19th, 2007 at 1:05 am
306 – MonkeyHawk, I think you probably would be! We have a lot in common: my 20-year-old car leaks when it rains, too.
January 19th, 2007 at 1:16 am
333 – And do you use a body lotion called Halitosis?
January 19th, 2007 at 1:18 am
treadwell says:
MT: The beavers have now made four dams. That’s four times the amount of trees lost than if the guy hadn’t fucked with them in the first place.
Brilliant point, Treadwell!
January 19th, 2007 at 1:18 am
1/19
Foob — Great, now Lynn has increased my Foobloatharian hatred for Gary. (And making Gary ask Lizard earlier if she had anything else to say to Paul before she left — what kinda weird question is that? — didn’t help.) And on Saturday, I’m sure Lizard will kick Warren in the balls and move on to her pornstached destiny. If Lynn had any mercy at all, she’d spare us the most nauseating courtship in the history of Canada and go directly to the wedding. But she is merciless.
January 19th, 2007 at 1:21 am
# 308 — Thanks, Shannon. That was wonderfully therapeutic.
January 19th, 2007 at 1:23 am
Niki’s left alone in a parked vehicle? Molly the Bear’s experience already taught us what happens next: he will be kidnapped and chained to a tree in the middle of the forest. No, wait a minute; Wilson and Nolan already used that for Chesty Lilly Gainer in the last RMMD storyline. Maybe they’ll do something original this time, like have the car roll off a cliff.
January 19th, 2007 at 1:25 am
I have long held a theory that how one looks as a wrinkly, bald, diaper-wearing, toothless, drooling baby is a pretty good indication of what one will look like as a wrinkly, bald, depends-wearing, toothless, drooling senior citizen. And now I can hold up Trixie as proof that this theory is true!
January 19th, 2007 at 1:28 am
1/19 TDIET: Has the sentence “But…comes it the junk mail.” EVER been grammatically or syntactictally correct in any form of English anywhere on the planet?
I believe Scaduto has finally succumbed to the Alzheimer’s…
January 19th, 2007 at 1:34 am
Yeah, I think I may have posted here only once or twice before. I was perfectly happy lurking. I’d laugh at the poems, and share everyone’s frustration with Liz and her adventures in Mtiptooey.
But that was before I read Friday’s f#$!ing FOOB.
I can’t. I… I… I f#$%!ing can’t.
I wish I had something witty to say about it. But I don’t. I’m just… aaaarrrghhh… I just can’t anymore.
Ah, hell. I’m just gonna curl up in a corner and weep.
January 19th, 2007 at 1:46 am
Slylock Fox: Number Two is different, because the dog is actually J’onn J’onzz in disguise trying to get his daily Choco fix.
A3G: You must be thinking of someone else, Tommie.
MF: Oh, please don’t tell me he thinks those scams are legit!
(DT)GT: R.J. is a stiff…which makes him different than everyone else in this comic HOW?
Popeye: Has anyone been paying attention to this storyline?! OLIVE’S RUNNING FOR PRESIDENT!!! President of a tiny, fictional island populated entirely by eight-foot-tall subhumans, but president nontheless!
January 19th, 2007 at 2:25 am
Friday’s MW:
http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-srv/style/comics/king.htm?name=Mary_Worth&date=20070119
Why is Mary wearing a yarmulke? Wow, she’s really confused about where she is.
January 19th, 2007 at 2:27 am
And, Friday’s A3G:
http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-srv/style/comics/king.htm?name=Apartment_3-G&date=20070119
Cue the porn music! And bring on Gina.
January 19th, 2007 at 2:47 am
373. Think that’s something? How about today’s “You’re know you are a Plugger …”?
All further evidence that production of comic strips is being outsourced to some non-English speaking country.
January 19th, 2007 at 2:48 am
From Pluggers on 1/19 -
“You’re know you are really a plugger…”
YOU’RE KNOW YOU ARE REALLY A PLUGGER. OH MY GOD.
It’s like it’s been run through babelfish into Korean and back again.
January 19th, 2007 at 2:50 am
Oh, you’ve beaten me to it, Mr. O’Malley! Curse my poor, frozen fingers.
January 19th, 2007 at 2:59 am
It turns out Aldo’s big problem was that he didn’t have a dog! Because Brenda Starr was doomed to certain death along with her Aldo lookalike pal, tied up in a car heading toward a cliff edge with an Oscar jammed on the accelerator, but at the last minute her brave little dog jumped in, grabbed the Oscar and sat on the brake pedal.
So many plot difficulties in the comics could be solved by employing more brave little dogs.
January 19th, 2007 at 3:06 am
#362 Trixie Belden – Thanks for your reply. I have never so much as glanced at a character’s “letter ” on the FOOB site, and I’m sure I never will.
January 19th, 2007 at 3:08 am
Please, God, let today’s FBorFW be foreshadowing of Liz/Warren. Sweet merciful God, please.
Somehow I can’t help thinking Liz/Anthony are a punishment for the combined weight of all of humanity’s sins. Who knew eternal damnation came in the form of bland Canadian comic characters?
January 19th, 2007 at 3:34 am
BB: Killer suddenly turned African-American? Beetle takes showers with his hat on?
Don’t military barracks usually have more than one shower? And if they did have but a single shower stall for the entire company, as implied in panel two, wouldn’t there only be one person in there at a time? Is this how the “don’t ask, don’t tell” army works? Why is the cot floating in midair? What is that brown object that looks like a low stage or perhaps an elongated loaf of wholewheat bread?
I have a hard time imagining the creative process that would end up producing something like this. I can only surmise that it involves several people who do not speak any language in common.
January 19th, 2007 at 3:38 am
#369: About 1/19 FOOB:
“But (Lynn) is merciless.”
Again, I saw all this week’s strips when they popped up online accidentally. Having seen Saturday’s FOOB days ago, I have to say:
It gets worse.
January 19th, 2007 at 3:45 am
A little while ago there was a spate of “identity theft” gags in several strips. I was hoping to point out another one by Keith Knight, a cartoonist that I like a lot. However, there was some kind of strange time relationship between the publication date in my local indie weekly and the online version.
At any rate, it is available at last here, so even though it is not so timely, I still think it is amusing.
January 19th, 2007 at 3:49 am
#383: Lynn’s a manipulative ass. That’s all I’m saying…
January 19th, 2007 at 4:08 am
385. This stuff is bad enough at one per day. I decided I didn’t have the stomach to read a whole week at once.
January 19th, 2007 at 5:30 am
When Liz gets in that ‘copter with Warren, I’d better see her poking him hard in the arm and saying, “Why didn’t you warn me, you pr–k?”
THAT would be the true Canadian way.
January 19th, 2007 at 5:48 am
FOOB: After reading 1/19 I believe Lynn is in fact using a machine for her comic – it generates the fourth panel cr*p, and then she tries to link the fourth panels together over months. If you isolate the fourth panels and put them in a row, it reads like some 30-step teaching program to, what – a better FOOB life through marriage, I guess.
Anthony – yes, it is no more Blandthony, it is back to Anthony, certainly compared to Liz’s actions, he is hardly the worst character for her – and Liz, deserve each other, that’s all there is.
“Maybe it’s closer than you think” haha, yeah, like death.
January 19th, 2007 at 6:46 am
FOOB pegs my Creep-o-meter this morning for three reasons:
1) Warren’s expression – He’s got that ‘I’m gonna score like Mats Sundin going for the 5-hole on a rookie goalie at the Garden!”
2) He is STARING AT HER TITS!
3) His eyes – I swear this – are blinking.
January 19th, 2007 at 6:53 am
In other news:
RMMD – Leaving the junior felon in the car? By himself? Does the phrase “Hey, man, the keys?’ suggest anything to you? Oy.
JP – “Cedric, these canapes are delicious! What’s in them?” “Soylent green, ma’am.”
And Neddy wants to “hit the streets?’ Ewwwwww. Get control, girl! There will be time to push your derriere Americain onto the Rue de Hooters soon enough. Try the wine – the good stuff never leaves France.
January 19th, 2007 at 6:56 am
#390: But do *WE* deserve them?!
January 19th, 2007 at 7:22 am
#374: Yeah, I share your pain. When I read today’s FOOB, I could only say “Please spare me your ‘native wisdom’ bullshit, okay? Does your fortune cookie premonition mean I’m supposed to play around with Warren’s heart for a few months? Didn’t you hear TIME IS ENDING IN A FEW MONTHS. If I don’t hurry up and meet my destiny, I’ll never end up with Anthony and his caged kid!”
January 19th, 2007 at 7:25 am
Today’s MW — do I see a little foreshadowing of a JEALOUSY twist to this whole thing? Jeff’s makin’ time with Greta Weber? Oh, puh-leeze.
In lesser comics, that’s a very difficult gag to interpret in today’s Mother Goose & Grimm. I assume “downloading” is meant to mean the toilet, but — huh? Don’t you usually download TO a computer? Oh, I suppose you’re downloading FROM some other computer, too, but it’s like immigration and emigration — the word you use depends on where you’re standing. So wouldn’t they actually be *UP*loading? Except then it wouldn’t have anything to do with toilets. Except, wait, they’re robots, not computers. Except, wait — oh, fuck it, it ain’t worth the number of cycles.
January 19th, 2007 at 7:45 am
In # 385 Mibbitmaker wrote:
“Having seen [sic] FOOB days ago, I have to say:
It gets worse.”
Like… DUH!
January 19th, 2007 at 7:47 am
A new record! Funkeybean isn’t miserable for the second day in a row!
Whoa!
January 19th, 2007 at 7:53 am
(DT)GT I like the Cultural Arts Center of Milford High. Eight pieces of paper on a table.
January 19th, 2007 at 8:01 am
RMMD – I know it’s already been mentioned, but I just have to say it. “Wait here in the car, Molly. Nothing bad could possibly happen,” Sheesh!
JP – I am SO glad Eduardo Barreto is back. Abbey and Neddy are in Paris, and Barreto’s back! Man, oh, Manischewitz, it just doesn’t get any better than this! Let the trying-on-of-sexy-outfits begin!
#374 – Karen meet me over by Lucy Van Pelt’s “palm tree.” Charlie Brown and I will be holding our stomachs and saying “Ow!” over and over.
January 19th, 2007 at 8:19 am
One Big Happy: I guess Ruthie’s too cold to make a strained pun, leaving it up to Dad to brush the dust off of “making excellent time.”
However–lost? in the woods? during a snowstorm? Nothing would make me happier than for this to become a Very Brothers Grimm storyline.
January 19th, 2007 at 8:20 am
After all the years of Vader like secrecy, we finally see behind the mask of Harry Dinkle, and Whaaaa? He’s all Sean Connery under there? Funky Winkerbean actually threw me off this week. Well done.
January 19th, 2007 at 8:26 am
Of all of the characters in FOOB, Warren is one of the few that I actually like – nice guy and all that. If I were to do a huge favor for someone I thought I was dating, only to have them dry hump someone else when we reached our destination . . . well, let’s just say that longing and lust would not be feelings I kept kindling. AND – if I did try to get back with said individual, my friends would kick my ass. So, please please please tell me that Warren is not going to jump on the Liz coaster of doom. I really believe he should have more self respect than that.
January 19th, 2007 at 8:31 am
H&L No wonder the guy can’t get a date. Who wants to be seen with a guy who wears a bran muffin on his bald forehead?
DtM It’s about time you started earning that “Menace” title, kid. In some circles it’s considered nobility.
January 19th, 2007 at 8:35 am
FBOFW – Considering the slow-motion train wreck that this strip has become, Lynn should drop the superfluous words in the title and just call it what it is: “Worse.”
January 19th, 2007 at 8:35 am
A3G: “I’m so dull I bore myself!” would make a fantastic T-shirt.
January 19th, 2007 at 8:35 am
It seems like the colorists over at Mary Worth haven’t gotten the “Asian people aren’t actually yellow- that’s just something racist people say” memo yet.
January 19th, 2007 at 8:35 am
Re #369:
Now we’re supposed to believe that Warren is “The One (TM)”.
Sorry – the last memo I got was that Paul was Mr. Right – literally and figuratively.
WTF?
January 19th, 2007 at 8:37 am
FW: 1) They put Harry in an administrative job.
2) They are naming a building after him.
3) Everybody is happy for 2 days in a row.
Harry has a fatal illness.
January 19th, 2007 at 8:42 am
Marvin Better nutrition through violence.
FBOFW Another virgin to toss on the altar fires of the Goddess of Collegen Injections and All-Around Emasculation Champion. Warren, we hardly knew ye.
(DT)GT Stating the Obvious Department: “R.J. is a stiff.” well DUH, honeycakes; the entire strip is comprised of unnaturally inflexible clip art images of Frankenstein. But I’ll give you points for the nasty threatening thought balloon.
January 19th, 2007 at 8:45 am
#406, Emily: Word. They’re probably still using the box o’ crayons that features “Indian Red.”
January 19th, 2007 at 8:52 am
Today’s Foob:
Gary the Racist: Don’t worry, you’ll find love again, this time with your own kind. Look, here comes a whitey now.
January 19th, 2007 at 9:01 am
LOL @ 79 & 132 – my God, I thought the exact same things, but I wasn’t sick enough to post about them!
Thanks for having my back. ;-)
January 19th, 2007 at 9:03 am
For Worse: Anyone who thinks that things would be better off if Liz and Warren’s relationship takes off (get it? he’s a pilot)* fail to figure in that such a situation will leave The Moustache permanently looking whistfully at Liz in the final panel with some lame pun thought balloon that conveys what a sap he is. For example, Liz and Blandthony are going to a restaurant.
Liz: The sign says “Parking in the rear”.
Bland (thinks): I’d like to park it in HER rear.
Ok, I’m not so good at coming up with Blandthony statements, probably because I was born with a spine.
*Of course “take off” was a Canadian insult, if I’m to believe Bob & Doug McKenzie are true-to-life representatives of the Great White North.
January 19th, 2007 at 9:06 am
#405: I really wanted Margo to display her power to read minds when Tommie said “I’m so dull I bore myself” and scream off-panel “And everyone around you! Does your ballon ever land?!? GEEZ!”
January 19th, 2007 at 9:10 am
1/19:
Hi & Lois : You’d stand a better chance of getting a date, kid, if you REMOVED THE DOG TURD FROM YOUR FOREHEAD. Sheesh.
MF : Ha! Ha! Third World poverty is amusing!
Spider-Man : Christ, was a spineless weed.
Ziggy : I know what a loving-cup is, but suffice it to say that I think most young people won’t. I think it goes without saying that those people will be surprised by Ziggy’s hidden talents.
January 19th, 2007 at 9:16 am
JP – I’m wondering why Cedric is serving champs in Manhattan glasses, instead of proper flutes. He is a trained chef, ain’t he? Next, G & T’s in “Big Gulp” cups, plus squid canapés.
MW – Mary looks like she is dressed for a special saint’s day or something at catholic church. Trés bizarre. She needs to something a little more regional, like the traditional hat on the guy in the background. This way she can hurl it at Jeff’s head like a hunk of Belfast Confetti when she finds he’s been getting it on with Greta. (Where have I seen this scenario recently? I just can’t put my FOOB – er, I mean, finger, on it.)
January 19th, 2007 at 9:17 am
How completely retarded is Spiderman? “I’m all alone for a week! Sob sob!” Cry me a river, Petey. Let’s review your options – your boss has an office in LA, and you can get some work done – OR – you can spend a week fighting crime – OR – you can hang with MJ in the desert – OR – you can kick back and relax after a week of battling a gay pirate, a supervillian, a homocidal butler, helping a depressed fireman find a purpose in life, battling a fire, saving people in an earthquake, going on a frantic search for lost luggage, fighting random criminals, sightseeing, and all that. The best thing you can do, Peter, is to fly back to NYC to visit the lonely Tommie Thompson in Apartment 3-G. Her boredom versus your awesome powers of stupidity and suckitude would be positively electrifying for all us readers. Ah, I see that you’re already at the door.
January 19th, 2007 at 9:22 am
#410 – haha, I though you were talking about FBOFW.
January 19th, 2007 at 9:23 am
Speaking of suckitude, Ziggy almost immediately comes to mind. “Loving Cup”? I’ve never seen Ziggy interact with any human male or female on a level that wouldn’t be considered rude if not downright hostile. A rational explanation is that he gave the “Loving Cup” to himself as a pat on the back (and other anatomical parts) for some kind of autoerotic out-of-body experience that he has been providing to himself. An alternative explanation is that amongst his irascible animal friends he has a sheep that we just don’t know about. Baaa baaa!
January 19th, 2007 at 9:24 am
389- The Canadian way would substitute “hoser”.
January 19th, 2007 at 9:27 am
MW in Hanoi
I have a new game. Every time I see a Coolie hat in MW, I’m going to have a beer for Breakfast.
January 19th, 2007 at 9:35 am
353, Veritol (Fish tacos)
Down here in Houston, Texas we have Fish tacos all the time. As I look out my window, I see a place that has a fish taco special every Friday. (Is it too early for lunch?)
On the other hand, although we do have tuna tacos (great with lime), it isn’t usually canned tuna. I hope not anyway.
January 19th, 2007 at 9:43 am
#421 Saxman: New livers can be found on the Internet – on the black market. Never underestimate Mary.
January 19th, 2007 at 9:45 am
#391. No, he’s admiring the shapeless mass of her L.L. Bean parka. Little does he know that it is warmer outside than inside.
January 19th, 2007 at 9:49 am
# 259 MossMoses: If imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, thatnks for the shout-out! (see # 256)
January 19th, 2007 at 9:52 am
Heh, I created this last week when it looked like FOOB might be headed in the current direction:
closeup of Warren’s copter
Today’s strip could be narrated by Marlon Perkins:
“Observe how the Lizard’s lips become engorged as the potential mate enters its territory.”
January 19th, 2007 at 9:53 am
A3G — I totally understand Tommie’s boredom and inability to find anything interesting to do. After all she only lives in NEW YORK CITY. Nothing to do there. With any luck there will be a Jehovah’s Witness at the door to provide her with endless conversation.
January 19th, 2007 at 9:57 am
#424 — Coffeeclash:
“…he’s admiring the shapeless mass of her L.L. Bean parka. Little does he know that it is warmer outside than inside.”
A couple of threads ago I thought perhaps my DtM snark might be in the running for COTW; or, at least, a runner-up.
Now I realize how unworthy I am of such honors.
January 19th, 2007 at 10:00 am
So the Peace Village is where selfless dedicated medical professionals treat children who are suffering from the effects of exposure to Agent Orange, right? We’re talking about children born with missing eye sockets, no limbs and other gross deformities. Is that the kind of thing that turns a man on these days? I don’t know about y’all, but hooking up with some babe would be the last thing on my mind under those circumstances.
Mary Worth is such a dope.
January 19th, 2007 at 10:07 am
“Flying with Warren sure beats the bus!”
Is that what they’re calling it now? Instead of roadside, you go copt… hey, wait!
Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh [sound fades as Liz respects law of gravity]
January 19th, 2007 at 10:12 am
En garde, Dingo et Thompson: see if you can match this one – not for lyrical genius, but for brain sticking chorus power!!!!
Summerhouse et al, this is officially titled, “The 59th Street Bridge Song” (I did not know that…) but is much more well known as “Feelin’ Groovy”
*apologies to Simon & Garfunkel
Slow down, you move too fast
You’ve got to make the torture last
Just crank it out but belabor the story
Looking for fun and feelin’ fooby!
(La,la,la,la,la,la, feelin’ fooby)
Hello, Lynnie, what’cha knowing?
I’ve come to watch your plots not growing
Ain’t ya got no banality for me?
Doot-in’ doo-doo, feelin’ fooby!
(La,la,la,la,la,la, feelin’ fooby)
No big surprises, no reason to think
I’m bored and drowsy and ready to sleep
Let the morning time drop its comic page on me
Life, I love you, all is fooby!
(La,la,la,la,la,la, feelin’ fooby)
(La,la,la,la,la,la, feelin’ groovy)
January 19th, 2007 at 10:26 am
True fable
The strange thing is, Josh’s smutcatcher edited out the part of my message describing the noise made while I drank my first beer of the “MW Coolie hat Game.”
Margo!
January 19th, 2007 at 10:27 am
#419 Hogen Mogen
Shouldn’t Ziggy say ” . . . otherwise there wouldn’t be anything else to winâ€? Otherwise it just doesn’t make sense. Don’t make me read Ziggy, man. I’m warning you.
#429 Trotzenbonnie
If we ever do get to Peace Village we’ll find its hallways are lined with the twisted denizens of Gil Thorp. Who knew they were all victims of Agent Orange? Makes them more sympathetic, somehow.
January 19th, 2007 at 10:27 am
#421, is your boss cool with you passing out at work before lunch?
January 19th, 2007 at 10:30 am
Jeff: “Mary!”
Mary: “Jeff! Who is that woman?!?”
Jeff: “Mary, Greta. Greta, get off your knees and meet Mary, the woman who’s name I screamed.”
Greta: “Well, this is rather awkward…”
Next: Tet Offensive!!
January 19th, 2007 at 10:31 am
Can anyone help me with this? After all these months I’ve finally figured out how to turn on italics, bold, etc. But I can’t turn them off (like after one word). I’m tired of doing *this* and THIS for emphasis. A pound of squid to the first taker.
Thanks.
January 19th, 2007 at 10:33 am
A3G: “Hi Gina it’s Tommie. Can you come over? I’ve finally got the place to myself for awhile.”
January 19th, 2007 at 10:35 am
To stop being in bold or italics, put a slash before the b or the i.
See here.
January 19th, 2007 at 10:37 am
Flying with Warren = they’re going to do some E.
And there’s that doe-eyed shocked look on the Lizard again. I think she’s coming to the realization that Anthony is The One, and she’s about three days away from dressing in black, dropping a Simple Plan CD in her stereo and going on a self-harming spree. Hell, she’s 27 and lives in her mom’s basement and she already knows how to find unhappiness in living the only fufilling life in that clan; the rest is a mere formality.
January 19th, 2007 at 10:42 am
FOOB – Maybe Warren is her rebound man – the guy she has to use and abuse so that she can reach her ultimate purpose in life – to marry Blandthony and fill cages and cages full of children!
January 19th, 2007 at 10:42 am
Granthony is going to marry Liz.
That is a lead-pipe cinch.
Take it to the bank.
No question about it.
What, you think WARREN is going to move to the big smoke and give up being a “bush” pilot? You think he is going to come there and fly the newschopper 12 team around? Man, Warren is just another roadside attraction on the way down the aisle to wedded bliss with Granthony.
January 19th, 2007 at 10:45 am
436 gh, To turn italics on use
i“eye” (inside those pointy bracket thingys) to turn it off use/i“slash-eye” (inside those pointy bracket thingys.)Same thing with all the “tags” you’re allowed to use. (Which are listed above the comment box.)
January 19th, 2007 at 10:45 am
429: Uh-oh…I think you just invoked “Rule 34″ by mistake.
January 19th, 2007 at 10:46 am
#437 Skullturf Q. Beavispants
Thanks! Or should I say Thanks! Thanks for the link too.
Your squid is on it’s way wrapped in today’s Funky Winkerbean.
January 19th, 2007 at 10:47 am
So who wants to lay money on the proposition that Lynn is about to cruelly string along those who don’t know better for a few months with the idea that maybe Liz/Anthony won’t happen?
January 19th, 2007 at 10:49 am
#441 Montag
Thank you too!
January 19th, 2007 at 10:53 am
Introducing my newest foob-related icon–the Lizard Lips of Love.
: (|)
Run, Warren.
Run hard, run fast, run silent, run deep. Run like Mexican water through a first-time tourist. But run.
Leave : (|) to the clammy clutches of 8{, because that’s all the sorry wench deserves.
January 19th, 2007 at 10:55 am
MW: OMG, is Jeff with Greta Weber? We may be up for a repeat of the foob story but with old folks in Vietnam.
January 19th, 2007 at 10:56 am
Re 435 – Tet Offensive or Trois Offensive!
January 19th, 2007 at 10:58 am
#446 dimestore lipstick
bwahahahahaha! Now I know where you get your name. Those lips! Nooooo!
January 19th, 2007 at 11:12 am
I just know as soon as I post, Josh will start a new post… so I’ll just say this: Today’s joke in Crock doesn’t make sense (I am shocked, shocked…). Don’t eat those cans or in the future you may not be able to… eat cans?
January 19th, 2007 at 11:15 am
384 Mr. O’Malley: Beetle has always showered with his hat on. He always everythings with his hat on. Walker’s First Law.
And Jan 19’s TDIET has to rank in Scaduto’s Top Ten of Nuh-Uh: “your junk mail never gets lost”?! How would you ever know if it did or not?! For all you can tell, maybe 90% of the junk mail that ever gets sent to you could be getting lost — how would you ever know? You’re not waiting for it or expecting it, that’s why it’s junk mail! This is like the recent TDIET about “jerks park in handicapped spaces”: there is no gag there. It’s just nuthin.
Bah! Awk-k!
January 19th, 2007 at 11:32 am
Moose and Molly is a rerun! Moose and Molly is a rerun! Call the comic police!!! Oh wait, that’s this blog.
January 19th, 2007 at 11:32 am
on 1/18, that is ^
January 19th, 2007 at 11:33 am
1/19
JP: http://www.chron.com/apps/comics/showComick.mpl?date=20070119&name=Judge_Parker
What the (margo)? Just a few days ago, Neddy was BEGGING for some champagne and now it’s being handed to her on a silver platter in a martini glass and she’s REFUSING it??? Typical teenager!!!
SF:
http://www.chron.com/apps/comics/showComick.mpl?date=20070119&name=Sally_Forth
As anyone knows who’s played Monopoly at least twice in their lives, the correct name of the 2nd most expensive street on the board is “Park Place” NOT “Park Avenue.”
January 19th, 2007 at 11:36 am
Re JP 1/18: Cedric has morphed into the Lon Chaney version Phantom of the Opera. Well, they are in Paris, I guess. OK, sure – that makes sense.
January 19th, 2007 at 11:39 am
#451 – Loppie – This does indeed qualify to fit the juxtaposition formula of TDIET. I’m not defending the formula as funny, or even defending the notion that a comic requires a single formula to make it. “Desired mail arrives late” Vs. “Undesired mail arriving on time” fits the TDIET mission statement. I was thinking of “You’re in a hurry and you have to stop for a traffic light.” That’s no TDIET, but add “But when you’ve got time on your hands, the roads are clear as a spring day! Oh yeah!” A real non-TDIET would be like “You get into a traffic accident, and the other guy is mad at you! Whaaa??”
January 19th, 2007 at 11:45 am
Spiderman 1/19 – Peter Parker is the Liz Patterson of superheroes.
January 19th, 2007 at 11:45 am
Who do you have to [margo] around here to get a new thread going?
I’m impressed at our abundance of snark, but really…
January 19th, 2007 at 11:52 am
#431 Remus – En garde? Do you not realize that I was on both my school’s varsity fencing AND lyric-writing teams? Taste my cold steel, montebank.
Hello, Lizard, my old friend.
I’ve come to chauffeur you again.
C’mon and climb into my whirlybird.
Tell me how your boyfriend was a turd.
And how Gary tried to snow you
with some crap about a spirit guide?
I think he lied…
And tell me of this Plot of Nonsense.
And now I drop out of the sky
In my Sikorsky butterfly
Ain’t it funny how I seemed to know
Paul was hosing down another ho’?
What kind of person could come up with
a plot that’s just that thin?
Her name is Lynn…
She came up with this Plot of Nonsense.
Foob, said I, cannot you see?
It’s either me or Anthony!
The moustache man would surely give his all
To have you chained against his basement wall
And be the mommy to Therese’s
whiny spawn of hell
You can tell…
It’s written in the Plot of Nonsense.
So this is it, it’s my last chance
For me to get inside your pants
I suspect your thighs are pale and white
Maybe all globbed up with cellulite
And after screwing you I’ll dump you
the same way you dumped me
Hee hee hee!
After all, this Plot is
Nonsense.
and #446 dimestore lipstick – woohoo! Nice emoticon. Did you use bee venom on those parenthesis to get them nice and puffy?
January 19th, 2007 at 12:04 pm
I consider myself faily musically aware, but I don’t know 80 percent of the songs that get parodied on here.
The rule for song parodies in written form is that it should be something close to a standard so most can at least hear the rhythm in their heads. And I’m guilty too, as I doubt a huge number of people know “Holiday In Cambodia.”
But they should, dammit.
January 19th, 2007 at 12:09 pm
I should have known better than to challenge you, Wille – I was filled with false enthusiasm after reading today’s Curtis.
404: I nominate you for comment of the week. So simple, adn it may have been said before, but such snark in such a basic simple package.
437: Thanks for the basic HTML lesson. Seriously. Who knew we could be educated int eh midst of such snark? (Not counting AllieCat’s helpful primer on Winkerbean history yesterday – that’s just worthless knowledge, teh kind I usually prefer to cultivate.)
January 19th, 2007 at 12:11 pm
Mibbitmaker: Oh, please, spare us the anticipation…. Warren’s going to get sucker-punched, just like the rest of us, isn’t he?
OHMYGOD I hate this. I hate Anthony. I hate Liz. I hate them all.
January 19th, 2007 at 12:20 pm
I like that the guy in Friday’s TDIET is shooting curse-laden piss-rays from his skull. Now that’s what I’d call a superpower!
So is Josh on vacation again? Is he clearing brush at his Baltimore ranch? Is there “brush” in Baltimore? What the hell is “brush” anyway?
January 19th, 2007 at 12:29 pm
#378 (M.O.M) …all your Pluggers are belong to us.
#459 Very impressive! Bonus points for “Sikorsky butterfly”.
January 19th, 2007 at 12:30 pm
gh–I got my name because I’m flashy and cheap like a dimestore lipstick, baby!
williethompson–I laughed I cried, I snorted grapefruit juice through my nose (that stings a bit). I bow to you and your brilliant masterwork, “The Plot of Nonsense”.
And bee venom isn’t as effective as a nice rounded font.
January 19th, 2007 at 12:36 pm
September Frozestrip Blues
(some lines rearranged to inflict more pain on the guilty)
John’s in the basement
Playing with the train set
Elly’s in bereavement
Gwampa, he finally went
The man in the far north
Badge out, won’t scoff
Says he’s got a girl to boff
Won’t tell the Lizard off
Look out Liz
It’s none of your biz
God knows when
But you’re doin’ it again
You better cling to Anthony
He’s lookin’ for a new friend
Keep a clean nose
Wash your pantyhose
You don’t need Curmudgeons
To tell you that your life blows
Mike, he’s so dumb
Never wears a condom
Mewedith and Wobin
Looks like some fun
The john’s clogged anyway
Wobin says it’s just play
They flushed Ned again in May
Weed says they’re gonna pay
Look out kid
Don’t matter what you did
Eat all the dog food
Don’t try to be good
Now see you’ve gone and ripped
Daddy’s precious manuscript
Deanna with the pegged jeans
She’ll never get in
Needs eleven happy pills
She’s only got ten
Get stuffed, get bent
Wonder where the story went
Right to hell, hard to tell
If this thing is goin’ to sell
Got stale, got bored
Go back, close door
Get drunk, write more
Monthly letters, if you fail
Look out Lynn
It’s gettin’ kinda thin
But users, cheaters
Six-time losers
Recycle old strips
Girl by the copier
Lookin’ for a new fool
Don’t try and jerk us
Now it’s just Family Circus
Ah April, no thrill
Hot pants, no chance, learn to dance
Get mad, you’re had
Guess you’re stuck with ol’ dad
Boyfriend, make out, you wish
Don’t grow, no sex
Just into puberty
They freeze you like a codfish
Look out kid
They keep it all hid
Better practice that guitar
Beckah is a big star
But Eva can take you far
Just don’t get in the car
Don’t wanna be outdone
Play that hosephonium
The mike don’t work
‘Cause the joyride went all roadside
(apologies to Bob Dylan)
January 19th, 2007 at 12:37 pm
#464 : all your Pluggers are belong to us.
WHEN WAR WAS BEGINNING, SOMEBODY SET UP US THE BOMB… BUT WHEN MAIN SCREEN TURN ON, H-HUH? WHA? ZIG? YOU ARE ON YOUR WAY TO DESTRUCTION– AND ALL YOUR BASE ARE BELONG TO US!! OH, YEAH!
January 19th, 2007 at 12:41 pm
Well, as long as we’re targeting Paul Simon:
Ev’ry man she meets wants to get gig with dizzy Liz
Though he knows she’ll treat him like the clod (of dirt) he really is.
She’s got problems out the hose-o-phone, but each guy thinks they’re his.
Nobody ever wins at love in FOOBville.
In comparison, relationships like Bill and Monica’s,
Superman and Lois Lane’s, Archie and Veronica’s
Seem as normal as revering old heirloom harmonicas
Nobody ever wins at love in FOOBville.
Just make her hysteric, Eric.
Try to get her deflowered, Howard.
Thtill thtare at her panth any, Anthony?
Well, you’re never get in . . .
Take off and start soarin’, Warren.
Find a new squaw, Paul.
You still drive her mad, Dad.
She’ll end up just like Lynn.
January 19th, 2007 at 12:41 pm
Zits: OK, this demonstrates the problem with non-aging comic strip characters. If Jeremy is 16, then he was born in 1991. Suppose Dad was 30 when he was born. That means he turned 18 in 1979, a little too late for his primary concerns to be Vietnam, Civil Rights and Watergate. And if we’re really going to make the claim that Dad’s music was better, than he had to be in high school in the 60s, which makes Dad 39+ when Jeremy was born and 55+ now. Which I suppose explains a lot.
January 19th, 2007 at 12:49 pm
F minus and Cow&Boy both feature physical comedy with ruminants today. C&B is also a truly awful pun. First laugh that I’ve gotten out of F- since it replaced Fox Trot in the Freep.
cheech wizard, if I track down the person responsible for those Hallmark-reject sayings that have replaced Bliss in the Freep, will you do some proper wizard stuff to them? Like kick them in the privates repeatedly, or lay a curse, or something?
please?
January 19th, 2007 at 12:51 pm
#459 willethompson
That’s what I’m talkin’ about! And let me echo SPOI: “Sikorsky butterfly†takes it from snark to High Snark.
But, uhh, where’s that Neil Young? “I want a ’stache with the cinnamon crumbs, I could be happy,” etc. Eh?
January 19th, 2007 at 1:01 pm
#458 (Allie Cat) Who do you have to [margo] around here to get a new thread going?
Isn’t Friday “Cartoon Violence” day over at Wonkette? Guess if Josh wants them bigshot Washington Lobbyists to keep driving dumptrucks full of money up to his house…well, it’s like my granddaddy always said: Son, once the hookers show up, the homely girls gotta expect to sit out the next few dances…
Wise man, my granddaddy…
PS: gh (#466) – I make it a point of pride to ignore FOOB and that even made ME laugh!
January 19th, 2007 at 1:03 pm
Josh?
You still out there buddy?
January 19th, 2007 at 1:08 pm
#384 Beetle Bailey DOES seem to have quite a gay undertone this week, what with Beetle saying what he sees in Sarge and the whole shower thing. “Lio” continues to entertain me. I dont think I’ve ever seen a child unwrapping a mummy on the funny page before. I’m still pinning my hopes on Gretta being a german dominatrix with Dr. Jeff as her humiliated slave.
January 19th, 2007 at 1:12 pm
MW: But seriously, did Richard Scarry guest-draw that Hanoi bus? Can’t Commie-run public transportation afford to use all three dimensions?
January 19th, 2007 at 1:15 pm
470- You forget, I never done a trick …. but I will give them a kick in da balls so dey blows a stitch. Maybe I will even hire them as my apprentice so I can do it again and again.
That pap is enough to make you want to sit in a tub of lukewarm water and slit your wrists with a butter knife.
January 19th, 2007 at 1:19 pm
Not to quibble, but I think Beetle’s girlfriend is called Bunny. Though she’s built like Miss Buxley, she’s not the same person.
January 19th, 2007 at 1:19 pm
#473 — yes, I am out here. Comics from Thu. and Fri. going up soon.
Sheesh, sometimes a guy’s gotta take a day off to do some real work, less’n y’all want to start buying ads for about ten times what I’m charging now. You should look at the archives from a year or two ago — I used to skip days all the time.
Josh
January 19th, 2007 at 1:27 pm
That’s admissible when you have about 5 readers. You have new responsibilities now with this enormous cult-like following. :)
January 19th, 2007 at 1:31 pm
josh, whiny, bored readers are just preparing you for the day when you have 3 kids, all of whom need clean diapers/food/bandaids/five dollars/car keys/college tuition all at the same time.
January 19th, 2007 at 1:32 pm
Grumblegrumblegrumblegrumblegrumblegrumblegrumble!
January 19th, 2007 at 1:41 pm
478* JOSH!!
He speaks!!!! We are glad to hear from you- we were getting worried. I bet you’re wishing you’d never undertaken this heavy responsibility. Work, shmerk. You’ve certainly sodomized my work ethic.
*466 nice job, GH , a ripe one if there ever was- *468 Richard, I’m not Simonized enough to know that one
*471 ye who suggested Cinnamon Stache should run with it…anyone else would be plagiarizing *Irony intended I mean, any great song stealer will tell you, you’ve gotta strike when the muse is hot…or something.
Ok, time for a new post.
January 19th, 2007 at 1:43 pm
#477, they don’t just have the same build, they’re identical. If these are two separate women, it raises the disturbing possibility that the Army has a human cloning program more advanced than they would ever let on. Or that Greg Walker can’t draw.
BTW, did Mallard Fillmore just call for a massive redistribution of wealth? Two hemispheres away, sure, but I still feel like April Fool’s is coming early.
January 19th, 2007 at 1:51 pm
#471 gh – Sorry, I still have a Neil Young about half-baked but Remus threw down the Gauntlet of Challenge. Based on your delicious #466 ripoff, I feel you could jump on Neil Young with sharpened soccer cleats, esp with the Cinnimon Girl start…
# 464 SPOI – ‘Sikorsky butterfly’ – sometimes they just write themselves
# 465 dimestore – careful with the g’fruit juice, girl – it burns AND cuts the effectiveness of the Lipitor
January 19th, 2007 at 1:51 pm
#482 Remus – (A Tater Tot Man)
Thank you for 466, and I decline 471. I keep tossing willethompson Neil Young ideas and
ifwhen he takes the hook I’m going to force him to sign over all the royalties and he’ll be left with nothing. Nothing, I tell you! Bwahahahaha!January 19th, 2007 at 1:53 pm
446 – Dimestore Lipstick, you are brilliant. From now on, I shall forever refer to Liz as :(|) and Granthony as 8{.
January 19th, 2007 at 1:54 pm
#484 willethompson
Why don’t ya just skip over 485. Nothing of interest there, really.
January 19th, 2007 at 1:56 pm
Unbelievable Coincidence: The last issue of Science Magazine (1/12/07) has an article titled Agent Orange’s Bitter Harvest which discusses Friendship Village located just west of Hanoi. The 120 children in the village are 9 to 24 years old and have disabilities attributed to parental exposure to Agent Orange.
No mention of Greta Weber.
January 19th, 2007 at 2:00 pm
And what of Jefferson Cory, M.D.?
January 19th, 2007 at 2:00 pm
I know he would not understand, but should I show more hostility toward MossMoses?
January 19th, 2007 at 2:06 pm
A few days ago in Pearls Before Swine, they complained that there was no food on the plates because Pastis couldn’t draw food. By that logic, Mary Worth should not have gone to Vietnam and Gill Thorpe should not contain people.
January 19th, 2007 at 2:09 pm
When will the Comics Curmudgeon Song Book be offered in the shop?
January 19th, 2007 at 2:09 pm
JP: Whoa. When did Cedric get replaced by Clark Kent?
January 19th, 2007 at 2:19 pm
RE: Utterly crappy wastes of space in the comics pages: today’s Boston Globe had not one, but two letters to the editor calling MF on its tastelessness. Occasionally the Globe is called to task for wasting its precious ink and space on MF. Hopefully it will be gone sooner than later.
January 19th, 2007 at 2:34 pm
#459
So this is it, it’s my last chance
For me to get inside your pants
I suspect your thighs are pale and white
Maybe all globbed up with cellulite
Willie, that is awesome!
Not only are the lyrics funny, but picturing Art Garfunkel (who, let’s face it, is Blandthony without the porn ’stache) standing with his eyes closed, face turned to the heavens, belting these lyrics out in his falsetto, and damn if it doesn’t raise it to another level of funny. I’ll never hear that song the same way again!
January 19th, 2007 at 2:47 pm
#469 don –
In defense of Zits, first, Jeremy is perpetually 15 (otherwise he could drive); second, men have babies, especially second babies (remember Chad?) at 40+ all the time, although I’ll concede it’s unlikely in this case since Walt and Connie were college sweethearts/fellow hippies; but third and most importantly, “the 60s” is just shorthand. Musically “the 60’s” didn’t start until 1963 and ended around 1974, which is not too late to be worried about either Vietnam or Watergate. So, Walt’s got some wiggle room here.
January 19th, 2007 at 2:52 pm
477 – Not quite – Miss Buxley’s got much nice hooters than Bunny did – and I don’t think Bunny had the heavy-lidded eyelash thing going. Plus she was a short-haired brunette, though she could have gotten a beach job.
January 19th, 2007 at 4:42 pm
446 – hahahahaha! I love it. BassMouth’n'Stache!
I am for that matter greatly enjoying this entire site.
January 19th, 2007 at 4:51 pm
# 385 — Thanks for the warning, Mibbitmaker. Expression of extreme horror on standby.
# 459 — wille, QUITE amazing.
June 25th, 2007 at 3:19 pm
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July 1st, 2008 at 7:17 pm
go away
December 6th, 2008 at 2:08 pm
just discovered your site.
They’re raisin cookies, not chocolate chip