Post Content

Marvin, 3/11/06

So, when I last was following Marvin on anything resembling a regular basis, it was about a baby and his sarcastic thought balloons. Now I’ve picked it up again years later, and it also appears to be about dogs and their sarcastic thought balloons. What is it about cartoonists and adorable pets and their inner thoughts? I turn to Marvin for baby thought action, damn it. The fact that the babies and dogs can understand one another’s thoughts is an even more disturbing development.

By the way, here’s a lesson for you childless types that I learned the hard way yesterday: if someone tells you an adorable anecdote about their toddler, and you counter with a very similar anecdote about your pet, the parent will not be pleased. Take my word for it.

Anyway, this particular cartoon about the travails of doggie love is deeply incomprehensible to me. There’s an Irish wolfhound that lives in my neighborhood, and it’s roughly the size of a deer; I don’t want to sound prejudiced against interracial love, but the logistics of the dating situation described seem next to impossible if things were to go beyond platonic. Next: armpit hair? Buh? Is this a joke about Irish people (or Europeans, or “foreigners” in general) not shaving their armpits? Is the joke supposed to be that no dog shaves his or her armpits, so Duke is just plain crazy? If so, why bring the freakishly oversized Irish wolfhound up at all? Are Duke’s crossed eyes supposed to be the Universal Comics Symbol for Crazy? Or do they work in conjunction with the tongue to represent Being Grossed Out? The more I think about it, the more I resent it all.

Post Content

Family Circus, 3/10/06

Actually, Dolly, it’s a little known fact that the Pope is named after the eggs. Yes, in an attempt to shore up flagging membership numbers, all future pontiffs will be named after breakfast foods that are determined via focus groups to be widely perceived as delicious. Look for future conclaves to elect Pope Oatmeal, Pope Shredded Wheat, Pope Scrapple, and, in a partnership that will see the CEO of Denny’s appointed to the College of Cardinals, Pope Moons Over My Hammy®.

OK, seriously: B-16 (as I have been trying to get people to call him, to little avail) has been pope for less than a year, and I think this is the second or third “benedict” pun the Family Circus has done. Are the Keanes on the payroll of Opus Dei all of the sudden? Because I think that they could be spending their money more wisely.

Post Content

Curtis, 3/9/06

It’s hard to see in that last panel, but for breakfast Curtis is having some … Rapper Puffs!

Isn’t that funny? Like, a rapper-themed cereal? Do the pieces look like … turntables, or … um, big clocks you’d wear around your neck, like Flavor Flav, or … wait, microphones and turntables for MCs or DJs?

Or maybe, like, guns and crap. “Icey-s,” whatever the frick those are. Hell, I don’t know.

Hey, the mascot could be Puff Daddy! You know … Puff Daddy … Rapper Puffs…

Wait, he’s just “Diddy” now, isn’t he? Dammit. I got nothing. Instead, I’m just going to link to a bunch of funny stuff that showed up in the comments, for those of you who don’t read the comments:

• brucker has proved, with a little deft editing, that it is possible to make the current Rex Morgan storyline gayer: check out “Brokeback Hospital,” parts one, two, and three.
• If you’d like to try your hand at this, Scott has created a Flash-based Brokeback Hospital game where you can try to make Rex as gay as he can be.
• Wednesday’s pinball-playing fish inspired Irina to compose a fishy spoof of the Who’s “Pinball Wizard,” which I posted over at the forum, the better to preserve it for posterity (hope you don’t mind, Irina).

Also, faithful reader loudfan‘s now-infamous Mary Worth-“My Humps” mashup has earned her worldwide fame. Hopefully she will not be sued by the combined lawyers of King Features and the Black Eyed Peas.