Don’t believe them, kids: you do need alcohol to have a good time
Sally Forth, 5/4/06
Tune in for future installments of Sally Forth’s alcohol-fueled blackouts and ancillary hilarity:
- “Gee, Sal, you say the car had four tires when you came home from work?”
- “All I know is that Ralph says you were the most giving and nurturing lover he’s ever had.”
- “Mom, Faye says she won’t come over for dinner again until you get rid of that gun.”
- “So you say you remember punching the other softball coach in the face, but you don’t remember kicking him in the gut after he went down?”
- “All I know is that Alice says you were the most giving and nurturing lover she’s ever had.”
Judge Parker, 5/4/06
I’m not familiar enough with the rich Judge Parker backstory to know whether Abbey was born to fabulous wealth or if she came by it by marrying (or just shacking up with? I can’t keep it straight) Sam Driver, but she clearly has a lot to learn when it comes to ordering her henchpersons about. She’s got the part where you make them dress up in ludicrous uniforms right, but she doesn’t really know how to talk to them:
- Incorrect way to respond to relayed information from an underling: Allowing to them learn unnecessary details by engaging them in a rousing game of Exposition.
- Correct way to respond to relayed information from an underling: “Did I give you permission to make eye contact with me? Return to your duties at once, Unit 39-D!”
They’ll Do It Every Time, 5/4/06
This panel ignores the tremendous pressure anyone named “Neato” is under to be tidy. As if four grueling years of male nursing school weren’t enough!
OK, but see, this is just totally insane.