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Presented unedited for your edification:

Date: Tue, 22 Aug 2006 21:59:11 -0700 [08/22/2006 11:59:11 PM CDT]
From: Aldo Kelrast
To: blogfrontp @jfruh.com
Subject: link to mp3 by Aldo Kelrast the singer-songwriter

Hello Comics Curmudgeon,

This is Aldo Kelrast. I realize you’re on vacation, but an easy meta-post would be to link to my website, on which I’ve posted an mp3 of a song I wrote to my dear Mary Worth.

http://www.geocities.com/aldokelrast/

If you don’t publicize my beautiful webpage on your site, I might have to follow you around on your vacation, constantly popping up unexpectedly, insisting that you link to my song, until finally you scream “AAUGH!”

Cordially yours,
-Aldo

Update: Um, I think we overwhelmed his little Geocities site. Just like Mary overwhelmed his little heart.

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Mary Worth, 8/22/06

So the truth is revealed! Aldo isn’t a murderer — he’s just a sad, neglectful drunk. At least the booze might go a little way towards explaining his otherwise inexplicable lust for Mary.

Mark Trail, 8/22-3/06

So now we know what heartless mustachioed fiend is set to menace lovable Molly the bear: this bee-loving cad! Normally, his obsession with his insect friends would make him an animal lover and thus a good guy in the world of Mark Trail, but his senseless chicken-kicking in panel two of today’s strip indicates that his apiphilia has driven him so deranged that he would do anything — even senselessly murder a lovable, kissy-faced trained bear — to protect his precious, precious hives. Clearly, he needs a good solid Trailian punch to the jaw to set him straight.

I like the fact that our omniscient narrator lets us know that Molly doesn’t know what to do for more probably-dead Buck. What do you want from her? She’s not a trained medical professional. Also, she’s a GODDAMNED BEAR.

Dennis the Menace, 8/23/06

Dennis: Growing less menacing by the day.

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Apartment 3-G, 8/21/06

After the final panel: “But wait … I’m illiterate! NOOOOO!”

Mary Worth, 8/21/06

I have to say that interrobangin’ Mary’s facial expression in panel two is pretty puzzling to me. It almost looks like she’s pleased by Aldo’s insane confession. “Wait, you’re not just some run-of-the-mill pudgy obsessive who doesn’t know the meaning of the word ‘no’? You’re actually a cold-blooded killer? Well, lead on, O Stalker Lad! I’ve always wanted to be turned into a table lamp.”

Folks, I will be on vacation for the rest of this week, but because fame is a voracious bitch-goddess, I will be doing my best to keep the site updated. Might not be every day, but I’ll give it a shot.