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Archie, 11/30/07

Sure, I’m disturbed by the mysterious appearance of the word “GLOM!”, apparently written in mayonnaise and floating in mid-air, in panel two. We all are. But equally troubling is panel one, in which Jughead’s arms are invisible because he appears to be wearing some kind of barber’s smock. Does standard-issue gluttony no longer hold any appeal for our be-crowned slacker? In order to entertain himself, does he need to set little challenges — like, say, grabbing his best friend’s hamburger off his plate using nothing but his face? If so, be glad that GLOM is all we’re seeing in that second panel.

Slylock Fox, 11/30/07

I’m not smart enough to unscramble the items listed here that accompany Slylock’s little How To Be A Nosey Detective Who Offers His Opinions To People Who Don’t Ask speech, but I can tell you that one thing you’re never going to be able to unscramble is MAX’S FACE if he doesn’t stop trying to bust a move on Sly’s woman. Honestly, as if the fact that she’s literally three times taller than him and his natural predator wasn’t bad enough.

Speaking of busting a move, I’m betting that the kid in the back with the bow tie and satisfied expression is quite the hit with the ladies.

Mark Trail, 11/30/07

“Yes, when you’re accused of a crime you didn’t commit, who can prove your innocence? You need Andy the dog, P.I.!

“You’ve been hit with a murder rap, and now you’re looking life in the pen straight in the face! Who do you call? Andy the dog, Attorney at Law!

Well, that’s it. There’s actually no way I can make this any sillier.

For Better Or For Worse, 11/30/07

“You know what might have proved it to them? If they had just been able to watch me sign books and make small talk for another half an hour. But now they don’t really have a sense of how awesome I am. Sometimes Deanna is so selfish!”