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Apartment 3-G, 2/9/09

And once again, the biggest laugh in today’s comics comes from Apartment 3-G, which isn’t even trying, I don’t think. Tommie, we all appreciate your fumbling attempts to be theatrically sarcastic, but if you’re going to respond to Margo’s orders to clean by tying on some kind of troubling sassy-black-maid kerchief and then dusting in a passive-aggressively half-assed fashion, you should really save it for when Margo is actually there; otherwise, it’s just kind of pathetic.

Mark Trail, 2/9/09

In last Friday’s thrilling Mark Trail, Ken appeared to have missed Patty’s special deer friend, merely scaring it off into the woods; today, though, poor Bucky has been laid low by what looks to be a bullet that our crack shot/abusive monster managed to place right between his eyes. (Admittedly, it’s hard to tell because the entire animal, including the eyes and antlers, has been slathered over with a uniform coat of Light Brown #2.)

Ken is showing us the sort of deft timing that has kept his marriage fresh; everyone knows that you should follow up a little light physical battery and the killing of a beloved pet with an impromptu business trip, to give the little woman time to realize that she wants more of what you’re selling. And surely the best way to get her to forget about that deer is to leave its mouldering corpse fifteen feet from your back porch.

Judge Parker, 2/9/09

“With this unreasonably large advance for my unreadable book, I’ll finally manage to dispel the whiff of the upper middle class that has stubbornly clung to me all these years! At last, my dreams of being ensconced firmly among the socioeconomic elite have been realized!”