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Piranha Club, 4/14/09

Mallard Fillmore meets Momma, and may God have mercy on us all.

Crankshaft, 4/14/09

Crankshaft is an Illiterate Moron meets Afterschool Special, and meh — what else is new?

Mark Trail, 4/14/09

Jack Elrod famously draws animals with far more care and detail than he does humans. So we can only assume that panel-three Rusty here has begun his horrifying transformation into Squirrel-Squirt, or Beaver-Boy, or some damn thing.

Funky Winkerbean, 4/14/09

Les “Ask Me About My Dead Wife” Moore utters those words every woman longs to hear, as his paramour’s rival wonders what scope she can afford for her Mauser SR-93. Oh, and good luck getting rid of those tickets on Stub Hub, honey.

— Uncle Lumpy