Friday quickies (plus horse sex)
Six Chix, 7/29/11
I used to think that the life of a retired male thoroughbred horse — left to spend your time at leisure on a nice farm, with occasional sexy times with lady horses — seemed pretty sweet. Then I found out that thoroughbred horse semen is far too valuable to waste on a single lady horse per ejaculation, and so the studs have to get it on with a fake horse that encloses an elaborate semen-harvesting apparatus, with said semen shipped across the country to dozens of lady horses whom the male horses never get to meet. What I’m trying to say is that these two horses should probably count their blessings, unless the brown horse is in fact a particularly well designed piece of semen-harvesting apparatus.
Mark Trail, 7/29/11
Oh man, oh man. Is Mark going to punch a swan, more in sorrow than in anger? Is he going to get his pretty face all pecked? We’re only like two days into this plot and it’s already 20 times funnier than anything that’s happened in the last five years that didn’t involve Rusty getting trapped under a car.
Herb and Jamaal, 7/29/11
Your hilarious, whimsical comic of the day, everybody! I will cheerfully cop to being afraid of death, for whatever that’s worth.
“Plugger Yelp” is when one plugger addresses another with awkward slang terms that nobody ever uses, and receives a reply that consists of unintelligible animal noises.