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Funky Winkerbean, 10/31/11

All those scolds who are stoking moral panic about video games ought to come by Comic Book Store John’s comic book store and see how wrong they are! John’s been playing “Family Circus: The Video Game” for eleven hours straight now, and he isn’t exhibiting any aggressive behavior at all. Instead, he’s mostly just slouching, staring ahead glassy-eyed, and quietly offering vague, dyspeptic observations to actual humans who pass through his peripheral vision over the course of his gaming-trance.

Crankshaft, 10/31/11

I’m sort of perversely proud of myself for not being entirely sure of what anybody’s name in Crankshaft is, other than Crankshaft. Jeff? Is Jeff the terminally anxious ’Shaft son-in-law? Anyway, his typically anxious expression really makes this strip for me. In the easiest version of this gag, the smug suburban adult would be leaning against the door frame, smirking at the kids due to their ignorance of the expense of adulthood. But Jeff seems genuinely concerned that little children don’t know how terrifying it is to be responsible for your own finances. “You kids are living in a fantasy world!” his face seems to say. “The sooner you realize that life is a never-ending series of goals that you almost but can’t quite reach, the better! Please, join me in the responsible adult world of constant low-level panic, for your own good!”

Mark Trail, 10/31/11

Since I assume that no human anywhere has ever referred to his or her actual mother as “Mother [his or her own last name],” I am beginning to suspect that Mother McQueen is not Mountie McQueen’s mother at all, but rather the matriarch of his mysterious bible-banding nature cult, all of whose members are allowed (and required) to take the “McQueen” surname after their first successful capture and banding of a goose. This explains why she’s so quick to prevent him from gunning down Mark and the others in cold blood: because he doesn’t have the authority to do so. Remember, Doug, only the Presiding Reverend of the One Holy Apostolic Reformed Free-Will Church of the Bible Band has the power of life and death here in The Valley, just as only she can arrange marriages and dictate clothing colors!