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Hitting you a little early with the week’s top comment, but first: longtime reader/commenter Mibbitmaker has a new Web comic, called Pop Culture’s Kids. Check it out, won’t you?

And now, your COTW:

“Oh no! It’s the Santa Royale PD in their purring police cars! rrrrrrrrrrr! You have the right to remain adorable!” –pugfuggly

And your runners up! Very funny!

“I like Niki’s expression at ‘Thanks for the hang.’ There’s definitely a subtext of ‘Oh god, are they really making me say this? Doesn’t anyone know how teenagers talk?'” –Shmebber

“The first thing you need to have a dog-training biz is a non-blind hunting dog to drag the customers in. It’s a whole lot cheaper than advertising!” –Squeak

“There, there, Emily Smith, it’s ok. It’s ok. You’re not from Goleta any more.” –Nate

“It only took Mary five short weeks to solve the Case of the Girl from Goleta with her patented combination of living in comfort and thinking kind thoughts! Well done, Detective!” –Effluvius Erratus

“The better question is, when don’t I have ‘Yakety Sax’ on autostream in my brain? The only alternative is ‘Fast Banjo Getaway Music.'” –Old School Allie Cat

“Yes, my ‘girlfriend,’ this freakishly large disembodied hand that’s resting on my shoulder as we speak. Sure, I summoned it from an alternate dimension thanks to an evil spell, but you would not BELIEVE the handjobs, man. Anyway, so … how much do I owe you?” –Windier E. Megatons

“The Menace’s all too well-documented aversion to bathing has come to the inevitable conclusion of flea, lice, and tick infestation. Oh, the hilarity.” –sully

“Wait, did No-Ink Tattoo Man and Tattoo Face Woman just apply the ‘First taste is free’ theory of drug marketing to DVDs? Soon, Milford teens will be huddled in alleys around DVD players. Looking wide-eyed and shell-shocked, they’ll stumble in the back of Milford Ink. ‘C-come on, man. I just need one hit. One hit from a blockbuster nearly as old as I am.'” –bunivasal

“Well this is a shocking development. I would never have dreamed for a moment the Ruby had ever had sex.” –Zerowolf

“Will we see proof of the dog’s blindness, i.e. walking into a tree? Based on the illustration I believe it’s nothing but a possession which is easily remedied by Mark punching a bible against the dog’s face.” –Stickerz

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Marvin, 1/13/11

In this shocking panel, Marvin has taken two thousand years of theology and turned it on its head. In a direct riposte to Calvin, who started from the premise of an omniscient, omnipotent God and declared that our ends were predestined before we were created, leaving any seeming room to maneuver an illusion, Marvin instead preaches the existence of a smug, all-knowing narc, who gave us the power to shape our own destiny just to revel in the certain knowledge that we’ll screw it up and condemn ourselves to damnation. Whether or not you agree with him, you have to admit it’s a welcome change of pace from the constant poop jokes.

Spider-Man, 1/13/11

It strikes me as a pretty short trip from “I’ve no way to follow them” to “So why should I even try?” and from there to “I wonder what’s on TV!”

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Apartment 3-G, 1/12/12

Welp, as I predicted on Sunday, Ruby is Lu Ann’s bio-mom (I don’t deserve much credit for this, as it was telegraphed fairly loudly). And now it’s all over but the copious weeping, and soul-searching, and family recriminations! Shouldn’t take more than a year or two. However, before we get started, I think it’s worth showing the panel from last Friday that started this hilarious and heart-breaking misunderstanding:

I dearly, dearly hope that Lu Ann’s comment is never explained again, just for confusing larfs. “Poor Lu Ann, it must be terrible to not understand one’s true heritage! Hmm, why is the name ‘Dr. Howard’ sticking in my mind? Is it important? Enh, probably not.”

This shocking revelation about Ruby this week has made me wonder if this whole thing was planned out from the moment she was introduced more the four years ago, which made me dip into my archives to see where my first mention of her was. All I can say is that I’m apparently pretty smart about this stuff.

Mary Worth, 1/12/12

Yes, Mary, we all know that your plan to bring Emily back to your hovel in the woods and bake her into a pie is finally coming to fruition, but perhaps you shouldn’t look so transparently gleeful about it?