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Dennis the Menace, 3/27/14

You know, I make jokey-jokes about the relative menace level in various Dennis the Menace cartoons but this … this is genuinely disturbing. “Mrs. Mitchell, your son displays great leadership, to the extent that he convinces other children to do things that are in violation of school rules and that sometimes even threathen their own safety. It’s almost as if he’s been building a sort of ‘cult’ among the student body, based largely on his own personality. After a series of violent incidents, we’ve begun isolating him from other students for most of the school day, but there’s been a new unsettling development: we can’t leave an individual teacher to guard him for too long, because if we do, we eventually find them dazed and glassy-eyed, with the door open and Dennis long gone. Anyway, long story short, your son is in a cage made of a special nonconducting alloy right now, and we recommend that you neither look directly at him nor listen to him speak for more than 45 seconds or so.”

Mother Goose and Grimm, 3/27/14

I know I don’t talk about Mother Goose and Grimm very often, but hey, here’s today’s Mother Goose and Grimm! It’s about how Pinocchio wants to fuck a piano.