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Beetle Bailey, 8/5/14

I went through a lot of emotional stages with this comic. First I was like, “Wow, Cookie has definitely been drawn by someone who holds the idea of tattoos in contempt but who has not actually seen a lot of tattoos.” Then I thought, “Wait, Jesus Christ, is Cookie naked underneath his apron? Are they having Cookie strut around nude in the mess hall, for no other reason than to make this stupid tattoo joke?” Then I noticed, “no, they’re in the barracks, which means that Cookie walks around with his apron and chef’s hat on while otherwise nude in the barracks, which is almost as weird if not weirder.” Anyway. The “cut here” tattoo? Pretty “edgy,” right? Eh? Eh? Kids today? And also it should probably be visible when he has his clothes on? Eh?

Judger Parker, 8/5/14

Aww, you guys, Sam’s longtime legal secretary Gloria is finally marrying the double amputee of her dreams! Of course, Sam isn’t just her boss — he’s her best friend, the person she’s closest to in the world, and she loves him! Sam’s frozen little smile in panel three is one of the best things I’ve ever seen. “Yes and you … are definitely someone I’ve worked with for … several years, the precise number of which I will have to look up, Gloria!”

Six Chix, 8/5/14

Wouldn’t most cow gossip revolve around who’s been killed and eaten lately? Maybe let’s talk about something more pleasant.