Mary Worth, 3/17/15
NEW STORYLINE IN MARY WORTH, EVERYBODY! Haha, look at how Mary is prying into this new Charterstone tenant’s life before he’s even gotten his meager possessions off his handcart. “Most people need a moving van or at least a U-Haul!” she says. “Why don’t you? Are you poor? On the run from the law? Have your references been adequately vetted? Will your rent checks clear? Should I call the sheriff and have your boxes dumped out onto the curb now, to save time?” Anyway, I look forward to Adam cracking under the pressure and spilling his guts about his emotional baggage over the next six to eight weeks. What can he never let go of? Dead wife? Estranged son? Or maybe it’s a real physical object, like a cursed goblet or something. That’d be pretty sweet.
Wow, nice job, Heathcliff: on St. Patrick’s day, you’re wearing a blue bowler cap, the dominant color on the flag of Ireland’s British oppressors, and deliberately mocking the beloved cabbage component of corned beef and cabbage by replacing it with literal, actual garbage. I never thought I’d see such blatant anti-Hibernianism in the daily newspaper.
Apartment 3-G, 3/17/15
Oh my, Lu Ann has removed her pink blazer so that she’s now clad only in her turtleneck! Is she trying to seduce Martin? She’s only got six more layers left to go!