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Beetle Bailey, 8/8/15

Well well, it looks like Killer’s lothario ways were just a cover for what he really does with his spare time: trains in the secret, elite force that the richest of the rich worldwide will use to dispense with the outdated notion of the nation-state and seize power directly. The coup is this weekend, and there’s nothing you or me or Sarge or anyone else can do to stop it.

Apartment 3-G, 8/8/15

If you want proof of how far Apartment 3-G has fallen, here it is: a week that began with Margo dreaming of strangling her enemy is ending with Margo apparently on the verge of punting the planning of her parents’ wedding to the waitress of her favorite diner, right after said waitress insulted wedding planners, keeping in mind that Margo is an actual professional wedding planner.

Dennis the Menace, 8/8/15

Usually the golf course echoes with shouts of fealty to Our Lord Satan. The presence of this man of the cloth prevented the Dark One from rewarding Henry’s loyalty with improved scores … today.