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Six Chix, 3/15/16

Hey, remember how these goldfish used to have a friend, but he escaped from the bowl, only to die in agony while they watched? We all learned a valuable lesson that day about never trying to go beyond the bounds of your everyday life, no matter how constricting they seem. Anyway, today we also learn that even we stay safe in our home, we’ll eventually die, mostly due to our own flaws, which we can neither control nor overcome.

Mary Worth, 3/15/16

Oh, so now Mary and Jeff are just, uh, rehashing the basic concept of the strip? Did Mary Worth get picked up by a new paper for the first time in years? “Shit,” they’re saying down at Mary Worth HQ, “do we gotta … explain how this thing works?” [Blows dust off a manila folder labelled SO YOU JUST STARTED READING MARY WORTH]

Dennis the Menace, 3/15/16

OK, so, I suppose a child asking another child if she has a signature cocktail is mildly menacing, but let’s talk about that uniform. I guess it’s supposed to be a Girl Scout uniform, but it in no way resembles what Girl Scouts actually wear. If Margaret is starting her own neighborhood paramilitary group, that’s gonna take menacing to a whole new level.