Mary Worth, 8/19/17
HOW TO CONVINCE A GAL TO DO SEX WITH YOU:
1. Give responses that indicate that you’ve listened to at least the last couple of sentences she’s said. Example:
DAWN: It was difficult integrating my relationships with both of my parents, what with them living so far apart.
DR. NED: [PROCESSING DATASET: “CONNECTICUT”, “SANTA ROYALE”] Yes, it certainly is enriching to have lived in two widely separated locations!
2. Block her means of egress, initiate simultaneous physical and eye contact, and remind her that you remember what her name is. Example:
DR. NED: [SCANNING MEMORY: WHAT IS THIS ONE CALLED AGAIN?] Dawn…
Beetle Bailey, 8/19/17
Beetle is the victim of unrelenting physical abuse, and the church is only willing to do lip service when it comes to protecting him from harm.
“[enters staring at iPad] Ever use mobile apps, Mr. B?”: What an old person thinks a young person is like.