Rex Morgan, M.D., 4/1/18
Is it? Is it a lot more fun, Sarah? Because it doesn’t look fun to me at all. It looks fucking terrifying! Your parents’ heads are the size of your entire body, and they’re full of razor-sharp teeth!
Mark Trail, 4/1/18
At least the dinosaurs are all dead, in real life! Feral pigs are very much alive, and there are more of them than there are people in Wisconsin! Mark has described them as “invasive behemoths,” “voracious beasts,” and “portly pests,” and points out that they’re now threatening our very children. I for one am entirely on board with whatever government or military response is necessary to defeat them. No sacrifice is too great! Do we need to eat them? Then no matter what the damage to our hearts and arteries, eat them we shall!
Mary Worth, 4/1/18
Hey, I know I haven’t been keeping you up to date on Mary Worth, so in case you’re wondering “Did Mary take Wilbur up to the side of this cliff and then he just whined vaguely about his dissatisfying life and she offered even more vague comforting noises in response for an entire week?”, the answer is very much yes!