Post Content

Mary Worth, 2/8/19

Oh, wow, looks like we’re finally learning the real message of this storyline. Jannie had her chance with Michael, but instead wasted her most reproductively fit years in a dangerous game of psychosexual manipulation with her older professor. That whole thing blew up in her face, so now she’s come running back to her handsome age-appropriate classmate, only to find out that in the intervening … what, like, a week, maybe? two weeks? … he’s formed a stable pair-bond and is off the market. The lesson is to nail down that MRS degree as soon as you can, ladies! You don’t want to get to graduation only to realize you’re doomed to be an old maid!

Mark Trail, 2/8/19

I’m pretty sure a clear sign a tween is blowing you off is when they ask to “trade email addresses,” since nobody born after 1999 has ever sent an email address in their life. Mara is about to change phone numbers and set her Instagram to private, while Rusty has several forlorn weeks of watching emails bounce back from bounce back to him.