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Dick Tracy, 1/15/19

I’m not sure who asked for a Dick Tracy storyline about the little foibles that arise when you’re an old man who knocks up a much younger woman who’s filming a documentary about you, but whatever, they are going for it. Today’s installment, “So You Were Briefly Jealous Of Someone You Thought Was A Sexual Rival But She’s Actually His Goddaughter,” is unsettling par for the course.

Six Chix, 1/15/19

I’ve tried pronouncing “robo-twheat” every way I can think of — does it rhyme with “sweat”? does it rhyme with “sweet”? OK, I guess I can really only think of those two ways — and neither makes sense. Is it robot wheat? That’s the grey stuff outside the window? Robot wheat? Why would you not pay attention to robot wheat? I think if robot wheat suddenly grew (or began functioning, or whatever the hell it is robot wheat does) right outside my window, I’d feel like I should maybe pay attention to it.

Mary Worth, 1/15/19

Oh hell yes, Jannie’s swift heel turn is really doing it for me! Is she vaping? Just leaning sexily against the wall and vaping, driving all the boys wild? I cannot wait for her to meet Mary and get an earful about the addictive qualities of e-juice.

Gil Thorp, 1/15/19

AHHH YES MARTY MOON-B/ROBBY HOWRY SUPERSTAR ANTI-GIL TEAMUP, I AM EXTREMELY EXCITED

Beetle Bailey, 1/15/19

We all knew that, of course, one day the long-running comic strip Beetle Bailey would come to an end, and we probably all knew that there would be a fairly spectacular final strip, but I don’t think any of us guessed that it would involve the main character being killed and eaten by an enormous bird.