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Crankshaft, 7/30/20

The Valentine Theater is the passion project for Crankshaft’s grandson Max, and as the owner and a true cinephile, you’d think he’d be mad about, for instance, people just talking at full volume during the movies, and that he’d try to prevent it, even if the offenders were his parents. I assume this conversation is happening because, despite The Phantom Empire being fairly well known and regarded by film history buffs, no actual paying customers have shown up to see it. Can’t believe this theater isn’t going to go out of business for another ten years!

Beetle Bailey, 7/30/30

I honestly love the twisted, tongue-centered riff on Cinderella in today’s Beetle Bailey. Look at how mad General Halftrack is! Those eyes! The rage! His age- and booze-addled brain couldn’t retain the face of the man who sassed him, but he’ll never forget the tongue. The vision of it haunts him at night. It haunts him.

Dennis the Menace, 7/30/20

Every menace we encounter is just a second-order byproduct of the one true primeval menace, which is insatiable need