Child’s play
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Shoe, 2/17/21
“But then I caught a Cirque show and fell in love with the artistry of clowning. I did an intensive study at Ecole Philippe Gaulier in Paris. Did you know that clowning is a long and storied theatrical tradition? We weave narratives and produce all kinds of emotional effects through our stylized performances. Our troupe is in town for the next week if you’re interested in tickets! The congressman thing isn’t really relevant, just wanted to give you some background on how I came to it, I guess.”
Dennis the Menace, 2/17/21
hey uh Mr. Wilson he’s sitting right there and I’m preeettttty sure he can hear you
124 replies to “Child’s play”
Why the hell is Dennis having breakfast with the Wilson’s? Are his family just so tired of him that they’ve stopped feeding him? That, or the postman dropped by for a “special delivery”
Hey, Baka Gaijin!
Don’t read today’s update! You didn’t, right?
Mr. Wilson doesn’t seem to be asking Martha, but rather (seeing on the way he’s facing) Us.
Can he see us riffing…? Does he see a world beyond being a simple drawing…?
This is the most menacing thing I’ve seen in this comic yet.
So, is the perfessor on a date with this (male) clown? Is the Perfessor gay? Are the comic pages finally becoming inclusive?
Dennis the Menaced: “Hey Mr. Wilson!” (in the Jay North voice) “Grape-juice stains on me gotta look better than that big lemonade stain on your lap!”
Fumbly Circus: “Isn’t it time to take PJ to the baby junkyard?”
Judge Mental: Stick with “I made a friend,” Sophie. Somehow Toni works better when you give her a Frankensteinian background. And wouldn’t Neddy make a cool Igor?
Mark Trail: Given that Happy has been polluting Jolly’s former land, I wonder if the white neighbors have a case against Jolly for exposing their land and water to assorted wastes? Toxins are no respecter of boundaries.
Hail Mary: Max wants a date with Lassie. They can discuss ways to keep Eve out of old wells and abandoned mines.
Rex Morbid, Missing Daily: Did you have to tell her, Buck? Couldn’t you have the decency to shut up and let her discover the truth when you fall into a diabetic coma?
SHOE: “Actually I’m a criminal and I’m hear to rob you. (Geez, did you not pay attention to the Batman franchise ever?!)”
Wary Morth:
Let me think of a way Moy can rescue this “story”:
That evening, Eve goes back to her flat, throws herself on the bed, and picks up pen and notebook.
“Dear Diary,” she writes. “I can’t believe this old goblin Saul Wynter is still swallowing everything I come up with! When I started blubbering at the sight of a headless dummy in a suit, I thought he’d have questions. Well, maybe he did, but I managed to string him along for a while, raising his expectations. But he wouldn’t come out and ask me anything. I had a story all ready, though I never got a chance to use it! But after I tripped one day while walking Max, I got the idea of inventing a “husband” who wore suits and used to “trip me”. While the bow tie wearing fogey swallowed the story hook, line and sinker, he still wouldn’t pop THE QUESTION. You know the one I mean, Dear Diary. I got tired of waiting for him to, and just barraging me with idiot platitudes, so I said the first thing that came Iny my head, that Gary had shot Max. As soon as the words left my lips I regretted them. Not even a brainless gnome with a bow tie could believe that. But, amazingly, he did! He didn’t even look for a scar on Max’ shoulder, which any sentient creature would have, so I think the bow tie just strangled the blood supply to his brain and killed it off long ago.
“So, Dear Diary, the only thing to wait for now is to get him to pop THE QUESTION. And after that? A quick funeral right after the wedding night – consummating the marriage was too much for his heart, that’s what I’ll say – and to get out of town with all his lovely, lovely money!”
Shoe – How does the shambling corpse of Jeff MacNelly keep up with the news like that?
Shoe: I think the Perfessor is wondering why the former congressman would be especially attracted to the somewhat stale traditions of the commedia dell’arte, as opposed to modern buffoonish figures like Mr. Bean or Lucille Ball who adapted these to new media.
Shoe must be generated by the same machine that the radio execs from The Simpsons used to replace live hosts: “Looks like those clowns in Congress did it again!” Without getting too political, gags like that look even more pathetic in a post-January 6 world.
Shoe – How does it keep up with the news like that?
Shoe: What’s shocking to me about this strip is that it doesn’t take place at Roz’s, and that this new establishment has, like, walls and windows and probably indoor toilets? I always assumed that Roz’s was ‘al fresco’ because birds and all, but I guess it’s like more like burger stands? God, I think Shoe just found a way to get more depressing.
DtM: Is it me or does it look like Mr Wilson is asking us the question. Ok sure, dump it on him, if you think that’s what’d be funniest? You’ve only got he one panel, man, don’t waste it.
@The Dimensional Otter: Coulrosexuality knows no gender, man. As long as the shoes are big, they dig!
Where’s Baka, anyhow? Hiding under the table?
“I used to be a congressman! But there are not many options for a career after that if you are too moral or independent to get a cushy job as a lobbyist or in a think tank or in the media circuit. People complain about their representatives’ salaries and pensions, but the fact they they are so low compared to jobs involving similar talents and efforts means that politics is dominated by fanatics, rich or corrupt people, often all three. But try convince otherwise a public trained to anti-politics by shallow media and opportunistic politicians pretending not to be politicians! Anyway come to see my show”
MT: I think I understand one of the reasons why the new Mark Trail strip seems so disorienting. The old strip was defined by its focus on the outdoors. While the new strip does contain references to the natural world, such as the ubiquitous animal cameos, these are pressed into the service of a wider plot that has little to do with the outdoors. This first arc is primarily about strained family ties, and only secondarily about farm runoff, racism in land appraisals, and other issues. Florida is presented as an exotic locale, but Mark’s journey through it is not really an outdoor adventure, like the safaris and rescue missions of the old strip. While Mark did take a boat ride, he had no real reason to do so, and it was really out of nowhere–those boatsplosions were unearned. Perhaps the next story arc will be different.
Maybe we could compare the changing direction of MT with Rex Morgan,MD or Judge Parker, which have branched off of their original focuses on medical and law, respectively (although I don’t read these).
Look at Mr. Wilson’s face. See that self-satisfied smirk? Dennis the Menace is in the goddamned Funkyverse.
Shoe: “And I’ll be saving this little umbrella to use in my act. The mock-tightrope slays ’em every time!”
Something else Baka must not read! Please make sure he doesn’t read it!
“Here mom and dad; I made you breakfast!”
DtM: Dennis eating at the Wilson’s and Mr. Wilson talking directly to the documentary crew makes sense if Dennis’ parents died in some novel yet newsworthy event like Dennis mistaking ant paste for antipasto.
MW: so no vet for Max, no police, no Eve fleeing to a safe house after her husband tried to murder her?
Shoe-“Those clowns in Congress are at it again. Man what a bunch of clowns.”
MW-“But he still stood by me when he wasn’t lying down.”
Dennis the Menace-No grapefruit to shove in Dennis’ face?
JP-If by hanging out you mean following Toni at a discreet distance so she doesn’t see you.
Shoe: Hey, good to see the DJ-3000 got a job writing for the comics!
DtM: Guys, we rag on Dennis not being a menace all the time, but what if he’s not supposed to be the menace? What if the title is ironic, and the real menace is that Dennis has been unfairly branded by his family community as messy little trouble-maker, and now this adult sociopath next door is going to pour grape juice all over him secure in the knowledge everyone will blame the victim! The look on Dennis’ face tells me this isn’t the first time it’s happened!
GT: “AS IF COACH WOULD CARE!” is the Mudlark motto btw.
HtH: Fun Fact: When the English genocided the Danes living in England in 1002 AD in the St. Brice’s Day Massacre, one of the English’s grievances was that Danish men bathed too much and were too well-groomed and English men just couldn’t compete for women against them.
MW: So where do we get to the part where Eve replaces Gary’s blood-pressure meds with tic tac and he has his stroke?
9CL: No fair, Amos stole my comment!
C’shaft: Let me guess, they get Crankshaft and hilarity (read: malapropisms and disturbing anti-social behavior) ensues!
FW: Joke’s on Harry; by the time he finishes proving the Kids These Days can’t pull a fast one on the World’s Greatest Band Director (Self-Proclaimed), class will be over.
MW: More than once? Damn, how many times did that poor dog take a bullet for you?
Pibgorn: Fourteen. She’s fourteen.
Pluggers use the “thoughts and prayers” diet.
Shoe: Don’t worry, that isn’t a real clown. It’s just a man dressed up and in greasepaint, to look like one.
I’m not one to condemn the artwork in Dennis the Menace (life’s too short, right?), but when you can’t even draw a recognizable light switch, it’s time to put the pens down. It’s not a standard switch; it’s not a dimmer switch. It’s an ‘L’-shaped thing. L, as in loss, or loser, or lost.
OK, I won’t praise the artwork, but I will praise the self-awareness. Carry on.
Mary Worth: I’m just going to say, despite the sad circumstances of which he got it… if the sole reason Max wears that bandana, is to hide a scar. That’s kind of hardcore.
Shoe: “I had never considered clowning until I attended the annual National Clown Breakfast. It was then that I realized that clowning, no matter the form, is what really unites us as a nation. Anyway, how did you become such a sad sack?”
DtM: Is this a Choose Your Own Adventure style comic?
PIBGORN: Just a reminder that despite her appearance, this girl is thirteen years old (she was fourteen in the first go-round but for the reboot Brooke decided to make it even more inappropriate.)
DTM: As often as Dennis visits, the Wilsons could just buy a sippy cup with a lid (or get one from the Mitchells). What seems like menacing behavior from the child may often just be lack of planning by the adults around him.
Mrs. Wilson would presumably embrace this kind of quasi-parental indulgence. One really depressing feature of the Walter Matthau DTM movie was that Mrs. Wilson was shown as living with deep regret over the Wilsons’ infertility.
MT:
Poor Max, he also insisted on tasting my food for me. The number of trips we made to the emergency vet, to get Max’s stomach, pumped would amaze you. As I said, he saved my life more than once, 11 times to be precise.
9CL/PIB – I was 14 once. It was a long time ago, although not as much as for our author. I almost never reminisce about it, nor do I obsess over exactly how and when I first started to think about sex. Usually I remember something awkward I said or did and wince and move on.
Today we get another of Edda’s outfits from when she was 14 that she still fits into. And another wall of text about when and how fourteen years olds first start to feel tingly downstairs. Its been a half a century, Brooke. Surely there is something else to move on to!!!
Cant get over how unattractive and personality free Amos is. His “incarnadined lips” are a massive overbite with no lower jaw. He is wearing this usual baggy slacks pulled up over his navel, oversized suit jacket, and white sansabelt shirt. He looks like a fourteen year old wearing his dad’s suit.
PIB – Either move the plot along or bail on it, this is making the Nazi boinkfest look well plotted by comparison. It’s been almost two years, if you don’t know what to do after “then they fucked in the lake” then you need to give up and try something else already. Plus, wasn’t the monk swimming rapidly downstream after his habit? That’s the only plot development since before the Plague Times began, can we at least hang on to it??
Also: “incarnadined lips”? Just because you found the word in your thesaurus doesn’t mean you have use it. This just reeks of trying too hard.
MW: I think Max may be in a vet clinic exam room, since he seems to have an IV attached to his foreleg. Unless Eve just happened to have a set-up in her kitchen. If this happened often she might. Still not explained is what she told the vet.
9CL: Near as I can tell, Amos is saying he could see her engorged labia when her leotard rode up that one time.
Do you honestly think Dennis gives shit what Mr. Wilson is saying? That is the real menace in this strip!
Keeping grape juice and coffee with sugar around for an elderly man who is most likely insulin-dependent diabetic: veeerrry menacing, well done Martha (enjoy your Social Security survivor’s benefits)!
Pibgorn: “It’s shrinkage, I tell you! The water is cold!”
@Just John: It’s just a man dressed up and in greasepaint, to look like one.
Well, a bird. With hands. I just don’t know.
Luann: we have some nonsexual touching, and Borenice has gone all puffy in her nether regions.
On a related note sometimes I like to read the comics aloud and give the characters different voices. I usually do Mary Worth as “Julia Child but with cigarettes.” No voice for new Mark Trail, but I used. an. old. fashioned. robot. voice. for. old. Mark. Trail. Mallard Fillmore is Donald Duck meets Hannity, but angrier. And so on.
Anyway, I’ve decided the best voice for Jack is that of a flamboyantly effeminate gay man—and Borenice, being Borenice, hasn’t figured that out yet. It makes the whole strip a lot more fun. (My Luann voice, I have to admit, is insensitive to the developmentally disabled).
MARY WORTH: Yes Eve, your husband at shooting you (which remember is a crime) IS jut a casual aside you can toss into a rhapsodizing about doggy devotion.
I cannot believe how much Mary Worth has buried the lede on this story.
MARY WORTH (2): Poor Max was traumatized…so that why I ‘rewarded’ his heroism by bringing him back to the same house he was shot at.
JUDGE PARKER: “Me and Toni have been hanging out. Well, I’ve been following Toni around and stalking her. That’s the same thing right?”
JUDGE PARKER (2): Apparently Ces or Manley must have had a previous job as set designer for Friends since they think that’s what a “small’ cramped” dorm room looks like.
REX MORGAN M.D: When I started treating the pie I received In the drive-through the same way Jason Biggs did, I knew I “overdid it.”
@brendancalling: “Velma, but dumber” maybe?
MT: Well, they brought me back for another day, after I told this new crew who they were dealing with! So today you may be able to get a better view of me – if you squint a little. Honestly, they’d never even heard of me! Me, who came to stardom in this comic! And was named Elk-of-the-Year! I used to be BIG, until the panels got so small…
But at least it’s warm here, and the commissary brings in fresh green forage every morning…
Damn, I can’t even think of anything to say after reading all the salty-as-hell comments over on the MT page. Aren’t some of these people supposed to be watching their sodium?
Family Circus: “Mommmm! PJ’s got that weird fungusy stuff growing on the soles of his feet again. Want me to go get the skinning knife?”
@melissaurus: re MT: It’s interesting how so many there hate everything about the new Mark Trail, yet come back every day to supposedly read it and then comment on how terrible it is.
Blondie: Dagwood’s been smoking the LSD cigarettes again, hasn’t he? Check out the eyes.
@Midtown:
See also Funky Winkerbean, 9 Chickweed Lane, Luann, and, increasingly, Judge Parker. Also For Better or For Worse and Spider-Man of fond memory. Hate-reading is a legit form of entertainment.
Pibgorn: Come on, all you haters — who amongst us could pass up the opportunity to give an impromptu blowjob to a naked monk in a lake?
RWO – Tip: on the dashboard there’s an icon of a gas pump with a little arrow that points to the side with the opening.
Mark Trail – How long has it been? I still can’t warm up to this artwork. It’s too jarringly different from the previous style, and it seems too cartoony for a serious story. I wish she hadn’t made such a radical change in the artwork.
On the other hand, no one has wandered in a cave for six months, so I’ll give her that point.
“Training? You don’t train to be a clown, boyo. You wake up one day and it’s in your blood. You quit your lucrative job on the Hill and run away to join a circus. And you start at the bottom. You see things. Terrible things. The way the animals are treated. The way the performers are treated. But you claw your way up from cleaning the port-a-potties and mucking out the tiger cage and you show them you’re a clown. You don’t use greasepaint, you show commitment. This? This here face? It’s a tattoo, brother, eighteen hours of excruciating pain, but it doesn’t come off. This nose? You gotta find the skeeviest doctor in Guadalajara, man, an unlicensed drunk who’s willing to do barbaric plastic surgery. That’s how you ‘train’ to be a clown. You . . . become . . . a . . . clown. Now buy me a drink and get the hell outta my sight before I show you where the seltzer really comes from.”
@John Bethard: Do you honestly think Dennis gives shit
That would be Marvin’s job.
@Zla’od:
It seems the “new” Mark Trail is going to focus more the on the everyday natural world rather than Lost Forest or other exotic locales. At least for now. The early Peanuts, or Doonesbury, or even Beetle Bailey strips were very far from what they became. There’s no reason yet to believe Rivera won’t continue to make changes in her own version of the strip
to your larger question, I think the shift in all these strips is a direct result of them being done by people who are professional cartoonists first. They just aren’t going to be as personally invested in the legal, or medical, or environmental aspects of the strips. It makes me wish more creators were in the position Charles Schulz, Bill Watterson or even Darby Conley were- able to stop their strips when they were no longer capable of or interested in doing them
@Midtown: It’s interesting how so many there hate everything about the new Mark Trail, yet come back every day to supposedly read it and then comment on how terrible it is.
Rather curmudgeonly of them, even.
Luann – In all the many years of Bernice, I don’t think her glutes have been, even once, anything but clenched.
9CL – Narcissist badgers significant other to tell her how attractive she is and how much he has always wanted to boink her. Repeat to infinity. Brooke apparently thinks this is witty, sophisticated dialogue.
These are two of the most unpleasant people I have ever seen. Edda is a raging narcissistic sociopath, and Amos is a physically unattractive, emotionally stunted, pretentious nonentity. He has no personality beyond showing off his pompous vocabulary and worshipping Edda.
The only reason they’re not the most unpleasant is that Arthur Peel was even more unattractive than Amos, and Psychotic Martine was downright batshit crazy.
PS Where are the babies?
Crankshaft – Those heavy lidded expressions are as annoying as the smirks.
Family Circus: Last week Jeffy’s jersey was tattered, and this week PJ’s onesie is. The Keanes sure know a lot about hand-me-downs becoming worn out.
@melissaurus:
@Midtown:
@Creepy Condescending Wonka:
I found it hilarious that one of their triggers for foaming mouthed rage is that Jules Rivera uses the metric system. How unAmerican and traitorous of her. Why, next thing you know, she might start using English spellings, like HP Lovecraft!
I don’t appreciate Mister Wilson’s gaze being directed at the reader in this panel. It feels like he’s inviting me into his weird power play with a literal child, and I honestly want no part of that.
Pigborn:
76 people hearted it on gocomics when I checked just now.
76 people need urgent therapy.
“Haha, good one, Mr. Wilson! Following that logic, since your death is also inevitable, maybe you should kill yourself now” – a truly menacing Dennis
@Old School Allie Cat: When I think about Bernice the Cockblocker, I always think of a favorite joke, perhaps told no better than by Paul McCartney:
Paul McCartney Tells a Dirty Joke
Of course, the point of Sir Paul’s joke is that one does not have to be a perpetual goat fucker to be labeled as such, and Bernice is a perpetual cockblocker (or cock-wilter). Also, Paul’s joke is funny.
In other news, it is fitting that Bernice took the Most Despicable – The Sequel crown, especially with the face time she’s been getting lately. And perhaps it’s unfair to include Buck Wise on the ballot. No doubt he could compete with the best of them (i. e., Wilbur) for Biggest Shlub, but characterizing him as despicable might be a tad unfair. That said, I hate that whole fucking family.
Just my 69 cents worth.
FC – Holier than thou Grandma remarks that Thel has no pride if she dresses her kids in rags. She was probably sloshed again when she dressed him.
Why didn’t he say PJ’s PJs?
Shoe: This is a date, right?
DTM: No, George. You’re not allowed to talk to the audience. Who do you think you are? Bugs Bunny?
@Joe Blevins:
George: *dumps glass of grape juice on Dennis’ head knowing that the titular “Menace” himself will be blamed for the mess, mugs at reader* Ain’t I a stinker?
MT: Well…yeah, that’s true. Too bad we had to go through Mark’s waterborne bizarre crime wave to get here.
MW: “Max died that night, Saul. Max died every night. That’s how the Prestige worked. If you don’t believe me, ask my identical twin, the one who hates you. Or Michael Caine, he can tell you too.”
Shoe – Congress = Insane Clown Posse….
DtM – Careful, Dennis – I have the feeling this is leading to a Dirty Sanchez….
Adios Amigos, DJ.
@brendancalling:
OK, I give up, I can’t imagine being angrier than Donald Duck.
Dennis Jimenez @ 66: “Shoe – Congress = Insane Clown Posse….”
You got that one right on the nose (Beep Beep). Have a Faygo on me. Dump it on DtM, if you prefer.
Pibgorn: Brooke is not being subtle. Tomorrow’s strip will be on PornHub.
A&J: Brooke. This is how you do funny sexual content.
MT: Look. I can see Jules trying to introduce social responsibility into a strip that had gotten a little (?) hidebound in recent years but we’re now going to see two new characters berating the regulars (and the audience) and then disappearing. It won’t be either informative or entertaining.
9CL “Let’s cut to the chase, Amos. When you saw me back then, did you go home and choke the chicken?
“Choke the chicken?”
“God you’re hopeless sometimes. Masturbate because of how hot I was.”
“Home?”
Shoe: I’m baffled because this clown bears absolutely no resemblance to Sen. Batson D. Belfry, the only politician this strip has ever, or will ever, feature.
There indeed is a crime in Mary Worth! Eve, dear, we don’t want to wear the exact same blouse in a flashback!!
Sally Forth predictions anyone?
Sally hires Faye’s mom?
The Forths turn their garage into an apartment?
Ted says something stupid, annoying, childish, asinine, and infused with pop-culture nerd-speak?
“Shoe,” still running about ten years behind, reminds us of the Golden Era when our government possessed the dignity and grace of clowns.
I caught myself thinking about how little sense Frazz’s rambling makes, but then that’s pretty much Frazz every single day.
@Zla’od:
OK. So far Jules had written an interesting strip, even if it is more Jerry Springer than Ed Dodd. I hope to god it never becomes the refuge of anodyne ennui that that RMMD and JP have.
9CL – We’ve already met Xiulan’s and Hugh’s parents. We gave a backstory to Sven. We gave Thorax a girlfriend. But Amos, who appears in almost every strip, still has no family, no outside interests, no ambitions or hobbies or anything so jejune. He exists To Worship Edda.
The few times he has expressed an opinion it has been clearly just as a stand-in for the author. Arthur Peel has had more strips devoted to developing his character than Amos.
It’s as if Brooke were directing a p*rn video, and intentionally keeping the male talent out of the picture as much as possible so as not to distract from the main attraction.
“What’s my motivation here?”
“She’s super hot and you want to fuck her”
“Mmmmm. Ok. I can work with that.”
MW – All right, now Trippy McFistshake is a *serial* dogshooter? At the rate Moy is accelerating this, tomorrow we’re going to discover that Eve’s ungainly gait is due to a leg prosthesis, caused by…more shootin’!
Beetle Bailey-“I don’t have to run fast when the General chases me around the table here.”
@Sally Fif: re Sally Forth: I’m betting on Ted saying something stupid, annoying, etc., as always. This combination of tragic sadness for Hillary and nonsense from Ted or some flippant quip is not working for me. The one day I liked was when they flash-forwarded and grown-up Faye wasn’t sure if she was running into Hillary or Nona. I laughed at that.
@Calvin’s Cardboard Box: I think part of the problem stems from the tonal shift of 9CL going from a family comic strip to that of a what is theoretically supposed to be a sophisticated dramedy. I don’t think Brooke initially intended for Amos to be anything more than Edda’s weird guy friend, and so his character wasn’t developed that much. However, once Brooke decided that Amos was going to be the second main character, the lack of characterization (at least, the kind necessary for dramatic plots) became obvious.
I also don’t think that Brooke really knows or cares how to draw guys who don’t look like variations on himself, other than a few notable exceptions, like Sven and Seth. Until Thorax was introduced, Amos was the only reoccurring male character in 9CL. This wasn’t an issue when the strips were focused on the Burber family unit, but once Edda ventured out into the wider world, the limited number of character designs became readily apparent.
@Edda’s Piano Bench Has Seen Things: 9CL – I can see where Amos was never intended at the beginning to be Edda’s one true forever love. But, he’s taken the time to go back and rewrite the whole continuity. Dozens of retcon visits to eighth grade to establish his eternal lust for her, exactly zero of which gave any motivation other than “he was born that way”. He’s still nothing but “loves to worship Edda”. Even as a father his primary interest was in making sure his children would know how hot their mom is.
@brendancalling:
I honestly thought that was canon, or was at least headed that way before the authors lost their nerve.
My internal Luann voice is now silence. She never completely closed her mouth, and uptalked at the end of every phrase so I stopped listening.
@Bless the Beasts: With Frazz saying it looks like racing will be real again soon, I wondered what type of racing he meant. Watching Formula One? NASCAR? Of course not! He means participating in bicycle racing himself and showing off how he’s so much more fit than everyone who doesn’t spend as much time on athletics as he does. He wonders how he’ll manage to travel and do all that physical activity with so little time.
I’m starting to loathe Susie Jerkins there as much as I despise Frazz and Caulfield. She’s just as smug and superior as they are.
@Calvin’s Cardboard Box: I wonder if he has read those “Dear Little Ones” letters to the twins yet. That could account for at least part of their lack of human qualities. That and the neglect, of course.
DtM: Ah, George Wilson has a certain naughty gleam in his eyes today. I don’t like it.
@I speak Jive: LOL at “Susie Jerkins”!
It’s really annoying today seeing Frazz do those over-the-top gestures that the kids usually do. I guess Mallett thinks this has real visual impact.
C-Shaft: Crankshaft’s grandson and grand-DIL who run the vintage movie theater would actually fit the criteria, so obviously that twist isn’t stupid enough to be what will actually happen.
H&L: SPOILERS AHEAD: So does the revelation that Trixie is an alcohol-based hallucination of Hi’s while he works as caretaker for an isolated hotel and struggles to complete his novel make you more or less invested in the characters?
Luann: If I were to comb the archives—and why should I do that?—I’d probably find that Bernice’s brother had been in the same room as Luann sometime. I still suspect he’s her with a brown wig and fake stubble.
Pibgorn: At this point, what is there to be said? Well, “no” and “make it stop” are still à propos.
RMMD: Mindy: Oh, honey, do you think I don’t understand that? There’ve been times when I’ve slipped and cheated too!
Buck: On your diet?
Mindy: …Sure.
S4th: Huh. I guess compulsive Star Wars references are sexually transmitted.
MW: I literally can’t read this strip until the dog shooting arc is over.
Luann: Jack is obviously a muscle queen. That’s my head canon now.
9cl: when do boys start sporting eternal wood and stop thinking girls are grody? 14? 16? I think Amos was behind the curve.
Crank: I dunno, it seems obvious, but I can’t help feeling that even with Ed’s complete lack of consequences and Batty’s huge authorial fiat, they wouldn’t actually pick the guy who ruined last year’s festival. So … I guess that means it’s going to be the only other character things happen to, who also happens to be the character we all hate more than Crankshaft himself. Great.
JP: “Well, Toby tried to make her excuses and leave, so I tied her up and now she lives in the cupboard. Well, she was living in the cupboard until I forgot to feed her, and now she’s just in the cupboard.”
MW: Well there you go. All that speculation in yesterday’s comments over how she’d explain this to the vet, and it turns out she just patched him up herself on the kitchen table. And people were worried this storyline wouldn’t make sense!
@2+2=7: nope, Velma was the smart, nerdy girl on Scooby Doo. Luann is like Corky from “Life Goes On,” but nowhere near as independent or likeable.
@brendancalling: Brad is probably no different
We’re having rolling blackouts here in Texas. Apparently the state grid managers weren’t prepared for over a week of temps totally below freezing. 20 to 30 minutes on, 20 to 30 minutes off all day long. This is the first time today I’ve had a chance to view this blog.
It seems today is the day we link things Baja Gaijin shouldn’t see. Because of all our snow I present this.
I guess today’s Carpe Diem is for Baja as well.
@Just John: This could be true! Clowns are defined by their comic performances, not by greasepaint and so on. The modern figure of the “evil clown” (Joker, Pennywise, etc.) is actually a misnomer.
You see, Baja? You’re not really afraid of clowns per se. You wouldn’t be afraid of Mr. Bean, would you?
@The Dimensional Otter: It might be there to keep him from licking it.
@UncleJeff: Tell Dennis Jimenez I said woop woop, willya?
Pibgorn: What is even going on here anymore, other than Brooke trying to put all of us on a government watch list?
@Edda’s Piano Bench Has Seen Things: Amos was originally a lot more like Thorax. One of his main character traits was his weirdness.
MT: On the Comics Kingdom site, Chucky Quartarolo wrote: “I bet the girls who read ‘Teen Girl Sparkle’ to see which boy band member is single and to get make up tips are just loving this story.”
There is much discussion of this real-life case linked by Jules:
https://abc7.com/black-homeowner-problems-sf-bay-area-housing-discrimination-minority-homeownership-anti-black-policy/10331076/
@Arabella: I actually laughed at that too.
@Zla’od: While kid Amos’ weirdness often veered into the surreal, he still seemed grounded in reality. When Amos grew up, most of that weirdness dropped away and now being Edda’s love thrall is his sole personality trait. With Thorax it was the opposite. He started off as Edna’s eccentric gentleman caller and became increasingly a sort of pseudo deity who micromanages the other characters behind the scenes. Now that Thorax has gotten yoked to Officer McNasty, he obviously has more important things to do.
love is... squeezing your balls until they puff up real big into a heart shape and getting a blue ribbon for winning first prize.
DTM: Henry and Alice must be upset when Dennis comes to Mr. Wilson’s house. They never can tell if he would be abducted or not.
Shoe: Guess in Treetops, clowns can be politicians. Just like in Washington.
Zigy: The shrink’s receptionist should fit him in with people who”PUT ON SOME PANTS AND SHOES!”
Thursday!
Phantom: GWW knows he doesn’t have to steal that whole, antiquated desktop computer. He just needs to steal its keyboard. All the information he wants is on that.
@Scott: Shannon is Veruca Salt, and Jonah Daytona is Pauly Shore. Gunther is Gilbert Gottfried and Bernice is Lilith from Cheers/Frasier.
CLOWN: I used to be a congressman, but then I went to a suspicious off-brand circus and a surly performer bit me, and now under the light of the full moon I make a hideous transformation. Every time I transform a little of my humanity is lost. I pray for the sweet release of a death that will never come, I shall walk this earth until the end of time, honking intermittently, chuckling behind a twisted permanent smile. Want a balloon animal?
@Bryan: How fitting
@Horace Broon:
And she has a set of those nifty canisters on the countertop. Flour, Sugar, and Dog Bandages.
@Zla’od:Well duh! That’s where the passwords are!
@Bless the Beasts:
O twayne me a twym where the ffubalo jym
O twayne me a twym where the ffubalo jym, where the rede and the telopen zoom
O twayne me a twym where the ffubalo jym, where the rede and the telopen zoom, where nibber is nat, a conframitous rat a tat
O twayne me a twym where the ffubalo jym, where the rede and the telopen zoom, where nibber is nat, a conframitous rat a tat, and the nibs are icky all doom.
(Assuming your username is from the novel Bless The Beasts And Children by Grendon Swarthout. Not the film, the book. If not, never mind.)
@Jihadi Colin: All hail The Bedwetters!
MW: The lesson I’m learning is that it’s okay to stay with an abusive spouse who occasionally takes a potentially-fatal shot at you as long as (1) you’ve got an agile dog who’s willing to take the bullet, (2) the abusive spouse has major moolah, (3) you’re pretty sure you can keep avoiding the bullets and recovering from spouse-inflicted fall injuries long enough to outlive the spouse, and (4) you’re almost certain you’re the only significant beneficiary in the will.
Hey, I didn’t say it was a GOOD lesson.
@Sequitur: The Texas rolling blackouts are reaching Iowa because Texas is where parts of Iowa get power from, and much of Iowa has been pretty much below zero for several days. But your blackouts are a lot more frequent. Sympathies.
I laughed hard at that link and then hastily departed. But don’t look, Baja! It’s not edgy, it’s way over!
General Public: CLOWNS ARE SCARY AND EVIL!!!!
Clown at a table: (Me just trying to bring joy and laughter into people’s lives)
@The Great Joe Bivins:
Is this a reference to Ransome the Clown from Thimbleweed Park?
(An clown who was an insult comedian but crossed the line, when he savagely insulted a kid in a wheelchair, so a gypsy in the audience cursed him to be a clown forever. He cannot remove his makeup or clown nose, or even his outfit. But he’s a major asshole so it’s not too bad….I guess)
MW: The late Frank Bolle couldn’t have drawn a better kitchen/vet’s office.
Except for his Shadow Floats I haven’t seen anything from Baja (nee Baka) Gaijin for the last two weeks or so. He hasn’t even reacted to repeated clown jabs thrown in his direction. ???
@Avoiding the Madding Crowd: When anyone stops posting, I assume they finally got a life, unlike the rest of us.
MT: Weird how Mr. Happy’s neck is so much thinner than this black lawyer’s.
DTM: There are some great expressions in this comic. Mr. Wilson is very tired but is trying to keep up some joie de vivre by insulting the kid. Mrs. Wilson is less tired, but needs it, because this is going to be another long day for her. And you can tell Dennis isn’t actually aware of what either of them are doing or saying, because for whatever reason he is 100% fixated on this grape juice, like there is nothing else in his universe.
GA: The dim low-grade nightmare that never really wakes up.
CRANKSHAFT: Yes indeedy, why have a well-liked local celeb do the judging in an event that takes a lot of time and effort when you can just pick a phone book random and take your chances.
MT: If the farm drainage and easement laws in Florida are like those in Iowa, getting the land back may not be enough.
9CL: Even p*R*0*n often tries to have some kind of plot.
LUANN: Them that leaves in the Uber will be the lucky ones.
@Myrtle: I couldn’t post for ten days or so, but I’m baaack, still lifeless. I hope Baja is okay.
@119 Poteet:
Oh, just say it Poteet. Porn. PORN.
Just like that.
We’ve had power on for over five hours now. I guess we stopped sending it to Iowa.
@Sequitur: I wasn’t trying to be coy, honest. I thought the Great Moderator Thingy would not allow that word. But there it is! I have learned. Glad you have power again! There will be amazing balmy two-digit highs in Iowa tomorrow, like 11 F, so the power situation should be eased. It’ll feel like June after double-digits below zero.
@122 Poteet:
I knew what you were doing. That Great Moderator Thingy can be a pain in the ass but I finally realized it’s more concerned with concepts like t0rture rather than porn.
We are finally getting above 32 F on Friday. We’ll hit 34 F.
By the way. What do you think of 9 Chickweed Lane Classics?