“Hachi machi,” he thought, grimly. “Biscuits for dinner tonight”
Post Content
Dick Tracy, 2/18/21
I just kind of assumed that, as a high-ranking detective in the Major Crimes Unit, Dick Tracy was, if not living on easy street, then at least financially comfortable. But today we learn that he’s so short of cash that he’s been reduced to using leftover Chinese food for gambling purposes, and thinks a single dollar bill represents “pay dirt.” Truly sad that those snitches in Internal Affairs say you’re not allowed to put stuff from the evidence locker up for auction on the dark web anymore!
Six Chix, 2/18/21
I … guess this is a riff on the “I eat pieces of shit like you for breakfast” bit in the beloved 1996 Adam Sandler film Happy Gilmore? Except that cats really do eat fish, and it isn’t gross at all or embarrassing for the cat say that? I suppose if Six Chix were going to do a strip where the entire joke was substituting the word “fish” for the word “shit” because they sound vaguely alike, they could’ve made it a lot more disgusting than this, so let’s count our blessings.
Dennis the Menace, 2/18/21
Dennis has a plan for rising sea levels in the wake of melting ice caps, everyone: he’s gonna climb this tree! It’s not a plan with a lot of thought towards next steps or long term consequences, but it is a plan nevertheless.
155 replies to ““Hachi machi,” he thought, grimly. “Biscuits for dinner tonight””
In the Six Chix Director’s Cut, the cat flushes the fish down the toilet.
Well, in Dick Tracy‘s defense, it is money, and it is in the dirt, so, technically. . .
S4th – OK, Hil, time to go back to your room and work on your occlumency.
MW – Saul! How could you forget Bella?!? That dog was as misanthropic as you were. Just admit it Saul, Max is kind soul, but Bella would have ripped Gary’s throat out in Max’s place. (And yes, Greta would have totally hid under the bed and whined).
DtM: I never found Dennis to be all that menacing. But that was before I learned that he’s a prop comedian.
MT: Nice try, Mark Senior. But no matter how little sense it makes, you’re the designated villain of this story. Give away all your land and money, or the baseless allegations will continue.
MW: Wait, that’s the end of the flashback? There were no consequences to that whole incident? What, did she take Max to a back-alley vet where they don’t ask questions?
Dennis has one hell of a well-constructed treehouse. Did Mr. Wilson build it hoping it would keep the kid out of his house?
Dennis is the perfect mascot for the Fossil Fuel industries fight against climate change legislation… “Why should we save the future for a bunch of little shits like this?”
Six Chix: I don’t care for this “Garfield” reboot.
Dennis the Menace : believes that all he needs to survive an apocalypse is to hide in his treehouse, as it’s out of reach from threats (flooding, heavy snowfall, zombies) and self-sufficient (he’s never cold or hungry or thirsty when he hangs out there with Joey). Not the best survival plan, there’s a couple of logistics issues to fix there, but Dennis is a little kid so it’s to be expected.
******
Dick Tracy : okay, I’m confused about the timeline here; how long has it been since Dollar Bill’s been killed? Heck, how long has it been snowing (like it is visibly snowing in all three panels)? Because it’s weird his dollar headband is just laying on the ground, untouched and uncovered by snow, after several days….
*******
Funky Winkerbean : I’m wondering why these kids think they can pull these pranks that rely on Harry Dinkle being unfamiliar with the way the Westview band is organised, considering he’s there every class, then I realised that maybe Becky and Harry brought back the wrong kids after the OMEA.
******
Luann : I guess Ben was a desk jockey in the army… but still, how is nerdy Bernice keeping up with Jack? Sure, she’s a little-miss-perfect, but she doesn’t strike me as the “exercise every morning is healthy” type of persnickety…
Six Chix probably isn’t referencing the Sandler movie specifically, but instead the old gangster B-movies that inspired the quote. I like the version that Phil Hartman did in his Sinatra parody: “I got chunks of guys like you in my stool.”
CS: Haha, like Ed has ever registered to vote.
@Anonymous: (on Luann) They’re not running, they’re “power walking” (i.e., walking). The brother is just out of shape. Does that ever happen to ex-army guys? Anecdotal evidence suggests yes.
So, the Phantom’s plan is to pilfer all of Gravelines’ prisoner data by stealing…a keyboard? I don’t think computers work like that.
Margaret, the feminised foil for the vigorous masculinity of Dennis, worries about girl things like climate change, when real masculinity knows we can weather it out through rugged individualism. This the most menacing DtM in years.
So Saul isn’t ever going to refer to Max having been shot by Eve’s late Adam and then being fixed up on the kitchen counter? WHAT KIND OF MONSTER IS HE ARGHH.
DT: Dick Tracy is one of those comics I have real trouble reading. My eyes just seem to glaze over and my brain refuses to allow it entry. I think part of the problem is that I can’t seem to distinguish regular and proper nouns in it: I must have read the phrase ‘Dolan’s body tiger lily’ three times before I figured out what Dick meant.
6C: “And by ‘eat’ I mean I absorb them into the amorphous mass that is my body, kind of like an amoeba!”
DtM: So, Dennis thinks that Margaret calls a tree a ‘climb-it’? Is that the joke?
DtM: You haven’t heard Part Two of Dennis’ plan. He’s going to tie a couple of thousand balloons to his treehouse and float down to Paradise Falls.
Murky Tail:
A normal human being ‘s response to someone suddenly looking up and glaring into their eyes is to flinch and back slowly away. This is a Traul family member, so normal humanity doesn’t work here.
The doorway on the tree house looks like Dennis will barely be able to squeeze through it and Margaret appears to have been aged up to about 12 but is still carrying a doll around. The real menacing here is from the artist who has just given up and is threatening the rules of perspective.
Dennis is confident that as an upper-middle-class white male, he’ll be able to continue to quite literally reach higher ground and remain safe as rising oceans and increasingly horrific weather events decimate those who don’t similarly benefit from a racist, patriarchal social infrastructure. A menacing level of smugness, indeed!
DT: So the Trail Camera takes video? It doesn’t just punch people in the face and spout facts about wildlife?
Dennis is absolutely the kind of asshat who would suggest people who live in areas flooded by rising sea levels to just sell theirs houses and leave
9CL – I suppose this is a good example of why you shouldn’t marry your childhood sweetheart. Because at some point they will put on an outfit they wore back in eighth grade and then use horribly stilted and overwrought language to ask you exactly when they first made your dick hard.
I guess the point of all this is that Amos’ love for Edda is pure and not sullied by lust. Which makes them a pretty poorly matched couple, given that their entire relationship is built around fucking. It also means we’ve been right all along that the Chickweed males really are terrified of their partners and dread the inevitable and constant demands that they “service” them by lying motionless on the ground and begging them to stop.
“Anyway, Chief, the suspect fell through the ice and drowned. Or froze. Or froze while drowning. You get it.”
“Sure, Tracy, I’ll just tell the Civil Review Board to get ready.”
“No, no, he really fell through the ice!”
“It’s bad enough that I keep covering up for you, but you don’t have to lie about it.”
I see cartoonist Mary Lawton, who is totally not alien scout Mari’lo’ton, has once again proved her mastery of the human art of puns and humor!
@Poteet
Poteet! Welcome back! Did you happen to see who got the COTW on February 5?
Dennis is engaged in Shakespearean word play—and “the play’s the thing,” amirite?
In fact, Dennis has been menacing everyone on the block with his puns.
Luann, Panel 1: Big gay Jack—who I suspect has craniodiaphyseal dysplasia—looks like he’s struggling to hold in a turd, while Borenice’s awkwardly drawn hands make her look like she’s pretending to be a robot. Panel 3: Ben is clearly having a heart attack. SOMEONE HELP!!
DtM: “Allas, now comth Nowelis flood!”
JP: After having been in Manhattan for about a week, Sophie is already pining for a taste of Cavelton.
@Zla’od:My guess is that the brother is faking it. He wants to leave Bernice alone with Jack, because for some reason he’s invested in her middle school romance stuff.
6ix Chix: Better movie riffs:
“Here’s looking at you, fish.”
“My name is Inanga Moray. You killed my fish. Prepare to fry.”
“May the fish be with you, Luke.”
“Yippee-ki-yay, Motherfisher.”
“Houston, we have a fish.”
“Lionfish and tigersharks and bear sea creatures of some kind, OH MY!”
“I’m Fishman.”
“Keep your friends close, but your fish closer.”
“Fish. James Fish.”
“Mama always said life was like a box of fish. You never know what gross thing you’re gonna get.”
Luann: Ben is pretending to be out of breadth so those two can walk alone.
6chx: I’d like to hear the fish’s response considering he looks like Edward G. Robinson.
DT: “Pay Dirt” is the phrase Tracy uses when he plants evidence.
@Rube: re luann, sorry Rube; you got there first.
Rhymes With Orange: “And, do you like fish sticks?”
9CL: “It’s not enough that you want me now; you need to have wanted me back when we were kids too!”
Edda’s narcissism is getting more and more repulsive. And that’s really all her and Amos’s relationship is: him worshipping her and her using him for physical gratification. The only thing she loves about him is the fact that he’s so into her. And people think this is romantic?!
Well thanks, Six Chix and Josh; now I’m gonna spend the day substituting the word “fish” for the word “shit.” It works surprisingly well in the phrase “fish or get off the pot” since “shit or cut bait” means essentially the same thing.
Margaret is well into the generation that can’t imagine ever having kids of their own, and is just imploring Dennis to think about the world we’re leaving for her doll.
MW: Geez, I guess I hadn’t realized till today that Saul has really built his entire philosophical and religious worldview around a certain set of…shall we say…DOGmas.
@Bruno Guedes:
That was an episode of Pinky and the Brain.
Brain bought up as many apartments/condos at he could that were at the very top of the high buildings. Then flood the all the cities so people would be forced to live in these apartments/condos. In turn Brain would be the landlord of everyone on earth or some shit like that…
What made the episode really memorable though, is that at the beginning Pinky was writing a letter to Bil Keane saying that “The Family Circus” isn’t funny anymore. It turns out Bil Keane sabotaged Brain’s plan in the end, solely as revenge for Pinky’s (albeit very polite) letter.
I don’t believe Bil Keane voiced himself though, didn’t even show his face.
DtM: Margaret is right to be worried. That is an Acme rope ladder. It will collapse as soon as Dennis realizes that the rungs are also made of rope.
@Anonymous: luann: Ben is faking to give Jack and Bern some alone time!!
What a world it is when “Nancy” regularly out menaces “Denis the so-called menace.”
You’ve made me envision a gritty reboot of Dennis the Menace where he, having evolved gills, goes on a aquatic adventure to defeat Dennis Hopper because no one else in the entire world had a map and and can do basic subtraction to figure out which bits of land would still be above water, which would be most of it, actually, since if all the ice melted sea level would rise 230 feet. Which would be a disaster of epic proportions to be sure, but not one that would require growing gills or even one that would make buying SeaDoo a wise financial decision.
Crankshaft: I call bullshit. Two days ago the commission decided to write a letter? And it’s in Ed’s hands today? The postal service would need a minimum of two weeks to get it across town.
6C: “Marvin fishes his pants” sounds a lot worse than I could have ever possibly imagined.
Dennis the Menace
“Margaret is always talking about the climate. I dropped trow and I told her, “Hey, listen, bitch, you can climb it any time you want.”
@Just John: You didn’t throw up in front of the fish. You threw up on the fish!
I can’t believe Fawn is dead. She was going to make me a fish.
Those fish stole our dates!
@Hibbleton:No problem, I will certainly never take offence over Luann.
Pluggers: He’s reading the wrong clue. It’s “Aida.”
@Bryan: And ironically today’s “Classic” 9CWL reminds us that young Amos was obsessed and aroused not by Edda but by her friend.
@Ruy Lopez: I’m impressed with an only child whose treehouse has two kitchen chairs and an actual glass window.
The idea that the artist forgot to not draw the “this is glass” lines* might be why it’s there.
(*Yeah, I forgot the name of this cartoon language item, bless Mort Walker.)
@ValdVin: I don’t think that’s a glass window. i think the lines are tree branches outside the “bars” of the window opening that the colorist forgot.
Dennis denying climate change is pretty menacing. But to be fair, he and everyone he knows has been trapped in an idealised 1950s suburb for 70 years.
9CL: I feel like a strip like this happens every other month or so, in which the female half of a particular couple wants to know when the male half fell in love with her. I know Brooke probably thinks this is really romantic, but I also wonder whether he just uses these moments to keep rewriting the continuity of eternally happy spouses.
DT: you know, I’m known to be a bettin’ man, but egg rolls are a little too rich even for me.
@Zla’od: I know it’s happened to me. That’s the problem with a rigorous workout routine like you get in the military: once you start it, you have to keep it up forever or your body goes to hell.
@Scratchy Scrotum LXIX: “You fished up, you trusted us.”
@Just John: ” Say hello to my little fish!”
“Luke, I am your fish.”
@Arabella: Or “Asta.”
DT – Does Andy Trail still exist in the new MT-verse, cuz I remember when he couldn’t shut up about his wonderous camera. He’d make a good DT villain, capturing and enslaving souls with his mystical camera obscura. Not to mention, the old-school Andy really had that DT villain look….
6-C – Cat – I hate your guts! Fish – I’d think so – eating them every day….
DtM – Get real Henry-Penny! Losing your shit over a fantasy like climate change, when they’re on the verge of rebuilding the temple in Jerusalem….
Adios Amigos, DJ.
MW-Dogs don’t think the past is bad if they don’t remember it that way.
FC-No one has seen Jeffy since he found the ring Daddy found on a trip to the mountains.
FC-Don’t tell Billy about the ring that Daddy gave him.
Spiderman-“My spider sense is tingling. Someone is talking about me.”
@nescio: Not in today’s Mark Trail. More’s the pity.
DtM: I usually sympathise with Margaret, but getting a gender-swapped doll of your crush specifically made is a bit stalkerish.
@Blinky the Wonder Wombat: Yeah, in the Before Times Amos was really into little Mary. Who reacted to his advances as any normal human being would.
DT: Best case scenario? Dick is trying to get “I’ll bet egg rolls” started as a replacement for “I’ll bet you dollars to donuts.” You know, because of the stigma attached to cops and donuts.
Six: I think the cat is just trying to instill fear in the fish’s heart. “Oh, you think you’re so fancy with your glass bowl and your marble column! But … hey, wait a second, I’m a cat! I could just tip over your marble column! Alright, one problem solved! Now to psychologically undermine the dog.”
DTM: It figures that the strip’s one token environmentalist would be Margaret, i.e. the nerd that everyone else in the strip either mocks or ignores. It’s the stupid but confident Dennis Mitchells who rule this world, always have, and always will, Margaret. We’re doomed.
FC – If holier than thou Grandma sees Dolly in that sleeveless dress and all that jewelry she’ll tell her to change her clothes because she looks like the Whore of Babylon.
MW – This has gone off the rails. Severe domestic abuse and violence, and all they can talk about is that Max is a good boy. Of course, this is the strip that cured depression by singing karaoke.
9CL – This garbage is beyond off the rails and is a flaming train wreck.
@Just John: “Frankly, my dear, I don’t give a fish.”
Humphrey Bogart edition:
”When a man’s fish is murdered, he’s supposed to do something about it.”
”Fish? We ain’t got no fish. We don’t need no fish. I don’t have to show you any stinking fish!”
”Here’s looking at you, fish.”
DtM: Draw that same comic with the characters in college and it takes on an entirely different meaning.
MW: “I’ve learned a lot from Greta. For example, after dinner I like to lick myself. If only I was as supple…I can’t seem to reach my private parts. Thoughts?”
The Up with our Finny Friends League would like to point out several bits of movie dialog which, due to the deep-seated prejudice against fish, were altered in post-production:
—I have always depended on the fish of strangers.
—No fish hangers, ever!
—Forget it, Jake, it’s fish.
—A boy’s best friend is his fish.
—Sawyer, you’re going out a youngster, but you’ve got to come back a fish!
—All right, Mr. DeMille, I’m ready for my fish.
—I love the smell of fish in the morning.
—Fish means never having to say you’re sorry.
—No, Mr. Bond, I expect you to fish!
—I vant to be a fish.
—Carpe diem. Seize the fish, boys.
—My mother thanks you. My father thanks you. My fish thanks you. And I thank you.
—Mother of mercy, is this the end of fish?
DtM: Don’t these kids live in Seattle? Since they’re having what looks like summer weather in February I can see where Margaret is coming from.
DT: Wouldn’t a small role of singles constitute proof that drug dealers hadn’t been in the vicinity lately?
@Ukulele Ike: CASAFISHA
“I came to Casafisha for the water ”
“Of all the aquariums in all the towns in the world, she swims into mine.”
“You fished for her, you can fish for me.”
“What is your nationality? I’m a fish.”
“I remember Paris. You wore blue, the fish wore gray scales.”
“Round up the usual fish.”
“Bait me. Bait me as if this is the last time.”
“Louis, I think this is the beginning of a beautiful sushi bar.”
Yesterday I made a comment about the people bitching and complaining over on the Mark Trail page, and got a crack reply about how “gee, when they go back to Comics Kingdom day after day to complain about the strip, it’s almost like they’re being curmudgeonly, eh? heh heh heh” but there is no fucking way TCC even approaches the weird, kneejerk obsessive levels of hatred and fear those people have for “social justice” and “wokeness.”
9CL: Edda’s veering into age play, and is going to be super disappointed when she finds out that summoning 14 year old Amos is more disappointing and awkward than titillating.
DtM: Scoff if you like, but Dennis has a better plan for “the climate” than the Governor of Texas and his predecessor (who probably should be flying to Cancun about now).
Soylent Fish is PEOPLE!
Egg Rolls? The bookie who is so named because of his comically round features? I thought Dick Tracy killed that guy years ago…
BB: Well that is rather disrespectful since this is Cookie’s last mess. He’s apparently planning to cook and serve himself tonight, or at least have an assistant do so.
C-Shaft: They know who Crankshaft is, so they have no excuse not to say, “Okay, let’s try again” unless he’s the only one on the voter rolls. This seems unlikely, since he forgot to vote when his best friend was running for mayor.
Luann: A character lacking a left arm in one panel and having it in the next seems like a significant continuity error.
Phantom: Sir, I’m afraid you can’t literally reach into a computer and pull out the needed information, although it is a lovely idea.
@melissaurus: Same three or four guys determined to fight ‘cancel culture’ by cancelling the current artist.
@melissaurus: Those people read Mary Worth and Judge Parker non-ironically.
AfkaB @76: Here’s another fine mess Cookie’s gotten himself into.
With fish.
Hail Mary: And dogs have a lot to learn from us, like, don’t trust anyone who shoots you.
The Phandumb: It’s funny because Walker is stealing a floppy disk from the last working 5.25-inch drive on Earth.
Rex Morbid, Missing Daily: “Okay, Buck, I found a business that can help with your self-control issues. Here’s their business card.”
“‘Wanda’s Whip Emporium’?”
“Don’t forget their motto–your pain is our gain!”
Re: Little Blue Bicycle, Ukulele Ike–
There’s a real gulf between lovingly poking fun at something (on a third party site, no less) because it kinda sucks but you still enjoy it on some level (MW, JP), and outright going onto an artist’s place of work and writing up daily screeds in an attempt to get her fired because her politics are slightly different than yours.
DtM – What is the most unrealistic thing about today’s panel? That Dennis is climbing straight up a free-handing rope ladder, rather than pitching straight backward as anyone who has ever tried it can attest? Or the lack of a “No gurlz!!” sign on the treehouse and Margaret’s resulting angry expression?
@melissaurus: True. I’ve blocked a lot of commenters over on Mark Trail/Disqus because of that lunacy. And because more than a few of them made it clear they have a problem with JR being non-white. And because they can’t accept that somebody made a business decision to dump the old MT style of art and story-avoiding, and try something else to make a profit.
DT: I live where there is snow, and now, warning, I’m going to say a few things about this strip. First, it’s a bold choice to draw snow like socially-distanced tiny snowballs, but it makes it hard to tell if this snow is light or heavy. I’ll assume it’s light, and so I’m thinking that rather than try to claim that small dead sticks have been “recently” broken off, Dick should look for, y’know, footprints. Because footprints and stick-breaking would have happened at the same time, and if Dick can see the broken sticks, he can also see the footprints. There’s no point trying to be Pathfinder when it makes more sense to be Sherlock.
Also, having spent the last ten days dealing with outdoor temps that ranged from seventeen below to eight above, F, I see Dick’s light coat and lack of gloves and no scarf or ear protection, and my first thought is “dimwit.” But then I look at that chin and realize that he’s just tougher than the average detective. Not smarter, but tougher.
@jroggs: DtM: Neither did I, until I discovered years ago the UK’s DtM (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dennis_the_Menace_and_Gnasher). America’s one is wimpy as shit.
@Artist formerly known as Ben: We just had 13 inches of snow in Seattle.
Dennis and Margaret, climbing into a tree,
Jo-ey,
Jo-ey,
Nothing to see, tee-hee…
@melissaurus: Agreed. Yuck.
Rhymes With Orange: Lobster S&M.
love is... cardiac relay races.
9CL: Everyone likes to say that Amos is just an author stand-in, but when teenage Amos looked at lusciously-drawn leotard Edda, he (however inexplicably) thought “gross.” And we all know that’s not what Brooke was thinking.
6Chix: Okay, maybe I’m the only one who thought it funny (because I didn’t know the Adam Sandler reference?) My take is the cat is trying to be menacing, but the only fish it ever eats are in pieces from a can. Or maybe sushi. Okay I’ll show myself out…
MARX BROTHERS EDITION:
“One night I shot a fish in my swimsuit. How it got in my swimsuit I’ll never know.”
“He may look like a fish and talk like a fish but don’t let that fool you. He really is a fish.”
“… and two hard boiled fish…”
“I can see you standing over a hot fish, but I can’t see the fish.”
“Don’t look now but there’s one fish too many in this aquarium, and I think it’s you.”
“Remember men, we’re fighting for this fish’s honor; which is probably more than she ever did.”
Love Is-Giving her the Grinch’s heart. https://www.artfulaspreycartoons.co.uk/love-is-color-18-february-2021/
Badlands: Comic innuendo.
@odinthor: “Carpe diem” Wouldn’t it be pesce diem?
FUNKY WINKERBEAN: “….in each other’s laps.”
MARY WORTH: Saul: “Now circling back to your ex-husband attempting to murder you….”
MARY WORTH (2): Greta: “Hey I had PTSD and trust issues when the bosy meddling one coerced you to take me in, you dick.”
Macanudo: Cave wall stained glass.
@Rocky the Flipped-Out Squirrel re MT: Some of the irate ones over at CK don’t seem to realize Ed Dodd is dead and not coming back. All we have now are memories of old style Mark Trail, and James Allen almost ruined that. If they think the current art style is bad, look at the atrocity of the final months of the former artist. At least I now look forward to reading every day, since “something” seems to be happening in the plot; they’re not just wandering aimlessly. I’ll admit I have trouble with the larcency and wreckiing of the boat(s) and wait to see how it is “explained.”
Hagar the Horrible: Eww! There’s a jar of vanquished foe penises in the pantry.
@Sequitur: Moldy penises.
Pluggers: Pluggers never consider that “ALDA” is correct but the words he has crossed with “ALDA” are wrong.
REX MORGAN M.D.:
“I saw the way you leered at that triple cheeseburger, you slut!”
@Sequitur:
Povl Povlsson picked a peck of pickled peckers!
Tracy doesn’t even seem to realize he’s standing right next to one of the cameras used to film Mark Trail, or rather, to film wild animals while Mark Trail does unrelated things nearby.
@Andrusi: re DT: Waitaminute! You’re tellin’ me they’ve set up a signature Trail camera there in …wherever Dick Tracy takes place! That can only mean one thing – this is where the next Mark Trail story will be, and they’re gettin’ ready to capture those wildly-popular Foreground Fauna shots of the the indigenous … wildlife?
Thanks for the tip, pal. I can start rounding up some local talent from… there. Hey, Intern – I need ya to look something up for me….
@Blinky the Wonder Wombat: 9CL: It’s weird to see an author is so blatantly telling us that they don’t give a crap about their own continuity. But to Brooke, nothing matters except those sexy sexy legs. Oh, and sexualizing 13 year old girls over in Pibgorn.
@Arabella: I think the only way Mark Trail’s violence with the boats and bystanders works out is if he cops a plea and is ordered into therapy.
A couple of times I suggested on Disqus that if the critics want a return to the old style of Mark Trail, then they should make a deal with the copyright holders: the critics will raise the funds to hire a writer/artist, then pay for on-line distribution, along with whatever licensing fee the copyright holders require. The idea of investing their own money was not well-received.
@Tom T.: “ 9CL: Everyone likes to say that Amos is just an author stand-in, but when teenage Amos looked at lusciously-drawn leotard Edda, he (however inexplicably) thought “gross.” And we all know that’s not what Brooke was thinking.”
It’s not what he was thinking, but it’s what he tells himself he was thinking. I’ve seen interviews where he insists that the boinking in the strip is all just expressions of the deep and permanent love between the two participants. Thus the progression meet-hate each other-suddenly realize they are in forever love with each other – spend a year overcoming the male’s crippling fear of sex – almost fuck but he backs out at the last minute – almost fuck but he backs out at the last minute (x10) – mind blowing fifteen seconds of bliss.
Sally Forth/S4th: Is this going the way of that “Waltons” episode where the poltergeist found a home in the stressed-out tweenage youngest daughter?
@Rocky the Flipped-Out Squirrel: To have death(?) and destruction on that scale with no mention afterward leads me to think perhaps it was all Mark’s hallucination or daydream. Wish fulfillment on his part? Or the artist pandering to the “boat explosion” cult of the audience.
@Artist formerly known as Ben: I wonder if Crankshaft will think, “Oh, great. Now I have to run over all the ice sculptures except for the ones that I want to give awards to. My driving isn’t usually as precise as that.”
@Joshua K.: Maybe he’ll take the day off school bus driving and rent a motorcycle?
@Rube: Ben is faking it now so Bernice can fake it later. (wink, wink)
@Sequitur: Well, when comedy goes out the door, fish come innuendo.
DT: “I’d like more proof”
“Ok, I’ll plant a gun or some drugs…”
Ziggy-This can only end with Ziggy being led into the back and made into the blue plate special.
Sally Forth – It’s not so much that Sally has the shining, it’s that Hillary’s ask is so obvious, the only surprise is that she hasn’t asked sooner.
Rex Morgan Mmmmm, chops.
Gil Thorp – I don’t know if I can say this, but all the white guys in GT look alike to me. I have no idea who fell and lightly sprained his thigh. Was it Pullen McGroin?
@Dennis Jimenez: Who is Andy Trail? Isn’t Andy their dog?
@Bryan: 9CL has retconned them into having always been attracted to one another, so that Brooke could pitch a “9CL Babies” strip. (Think “Muppet Babies” meets Woody Allen. No wait, don’t think that.)
@Arabella: @Rocky the Flipped-Out Squirrel: Thing is, it’s James Allen that they miss. They’re angry about him losing his job over that AOC tweet and want to do the same to Jules, or at least that was true when I could still stomach the comments.
@Arabella: My guesses are that (1) JR said “Nobody will top this!” with her over-the-top boating catastrophe and (2) Mark will get busted for it, then find a way to stay out of jail. I’ll cut her some slack for not having Mark arrested yet, because he needs to be present to resolve the situation with his father and Jolly’s farm. Plus, I enjoy the way she’s developing these characters.
Archie-More like Archie spilled a load on Veronica.
@Just John: My favorite movie is “Meetings with Remarkable Men,” so…
“I’ll ride the fish’s back if necessary.”
“Fish, just now, is in Sarikamish.”
“So your family wants you to become a priest?” “Yes, but I am interested in fish.”
“In a duel with fish, both of you might die.”
“Boil seven fish, and you get a Jew.”
“Are you still collecting the dust of fish who died long ago?”
“You come like a lamb, but don’t forget you have a fish in you as well.”
———————————————-
Or we could convert all of “My Dinner with Andre”:
“Andre seemed to know an awful lot about the menu. Fish with raisins. Blanched fish. I didn’t understand a word of it.”
“And he’d found me a forest, Wally. And the only inhabitants of this forest were some wild fish and a hermit.”
“I mean, I really feel that I’m just washed up. Wiped out. I feel I’ve just squandered my fish.”
“But Wally, don’t you see that fish can be dangerous?”
@Rocky the Flipped-Out Squirrel: One solution would be for Mark to become a fugitive, hiding out in the woods. Another way would be to have the authorities make a deal with him–drop the charges in exchange for his help in some other, outdoorsy-related case. Hunting down an escaped criminal, perhaps.
@Niles Crane: See? Apparently the people who took over from Ketcham didn’t get the memo.
Hey, how are those tossed salads and scrambled eggs?
@121 Liam:
Huh? I don’t see how your comment relates to today’s Archie.
<b.Pibgorn There’s nothing inappropriate with the current story line. And just because 37% of the strip’s followers on GoComics are registered sex offenders is just a coincidence.
@212 Liam: @125 Sequitur:
Oh. “Spilled his load.” I was trying to remember where Veronica was in today’s comic.
Never mind.
Friday!
Phantom: A USB plugs into the side of the keyboard, right?
@Unca $crooge: Another third are unregistered.
@Dave D: You religious fanatics always give me a chuckle!
@Zla’od: May I recommend Mel Brooks’s Silent Movie?
Marcel Marceau: “Fish!”
@Danielakiiki: Hagar must have raided England and brought back some of the food.
I mean, given the inevitable rise in sea level, Dennis technically has the right idea… Assuming his family is stationed in a coastal region.
NEXT WEEK: Dennis and associated characters flee inland due to an unnaturally strong hurricane caused by warming oceans! Truly the next level in menacing!
@Hibbleton:
“Well listen, cat, thousands of fish got lips but there’s only one Johnny Rocco!”
It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man in possession of a good fortune, must be in want of a fish.
@Rosstifer: And it’s a weird suburb, because sometimes it seems to be fairly built up and at other times, it’s way out in the sticks. The weirdest feature, however, is all those noses. Maybe something in the water.
@Poteet: Sorry to repeat myself, but did you know that you had the Comment Of The Week on February 5? I don’t think you commented between then and yesterday, and I’d hate to think you missed your moment of glory!
@Peanut Gallery: Hey! British food is a LOT better these days! London and Edinburgh are now destination cuisine cities! And the fish and chips have always been good, especially in north Wales.
Poteet! Everyone is trying to tell you that you had the COTW on February 5th.
Here’s the proof!
@Zla’od:
I’ll just assume that Andy miraculously started walking bipedal, talking, wearing clothes and discovered an interest in photography.
Next Sunday’s Comic:
“So the animals are rising up… most of the human population has either been enslaved or eaten. It’s doomsday man! Doomsday!!! Oh crap, this fox wants something… he thinks I stole some Lynx lady’s bracelet. Why? It’s because I’m a human? Where are you taking me!!??”
@139 Anonymous:
Oops. That was me. I’m not trying to hide anything. Really!
MT: Looks like Mark III has lost his Cherry.
MW: Yeah–you push ’em off and scold ’em, but before you know it they’re humping your leg again.
The moral of this arc is to appreciate the good things in life, and not just sniff the foul parts.
FW: It means you’re pregnant. Go see the school nurse.
@Just John: That would be more like, moving his mouth open and shut while wiggling his hands beside his head to imitate fins.
@The Dimensional Otter: Only to be stymied by color blindness!
@Zla’od: 143. Re: Just John
In Silent Movie, Marcel is the only one to speak. I believe his one line is “No!”
@144 Avoiding the Madding Crowd:
He was French. Probably, “Non!”
Luann: “She saw my dick once, though.”
9CL: Prepare your “aural sex” jokes.
@Avoiding the Madding Crowd: That makes…a weird kind of sense. As much as Bizarro World, anyway.
@Roy Neary: You won’t be chuckling when Unitarian Jesus comes back to earth and gives everybody a big hug.
Luann:
Ben: “One more question: Has Luann ever seen you naked?”
Jack: “Yes she has. I got paid for it, though.”
@Artist formerly known as Ben: I don’t know what to do with those tossed salads and scrambled eggs. They’re callin’ again!
@150 Niles Crane:
Scambled eggs all over my face. What is a boy to do. Goodnight, everybody!
See you next year, we love ya!
That Dennis cartoon is proof that some comics maybe don’t need to go on forever.
@152 Mikey:
Try to stop ’em.
DT: Big Brother is watching you, Dick. Is it 1984 yet where he lives, if you know what I mean.
DTM: Sing The Climb by Miley Cyrus, if you know what I mean.
Ziggy: At Mom’s diner, the number one rule for customers is simple…”PUT ON SOME PANTS AND SHOES!”