I’m going give the “joke” in today’s Dustin the zero attention it deserves and instead will focus on a background detail that is driving me crazy. Whenever I do something like this, I get a million comments that gaslight me like, “Josh, it’s actually 100% normal for someone to make and eat an ice cream cone at home, you’re the weird one” but: do you freaks really have ice cream cones at home???? I mean, a big thing of ice cream in the freezer, sure, that’s normal, but decent people eat it out of a bowl, or out of the carton over the sink. Having a box (?) of ice cream cones in the pantry (??), ready to fill with ice cream at any moment, seems decadent and perverse to me, but I’m just a simple, honest American who maybe doesn’t understand this modern world anymore, just like Dustin’s atlas-loving dad.
Mary Worth, 5/4/22
Wow, what’s the most boring way we could get caught up on the background of Ian and Helen’s sordid past? Is it Toby calmly telling Mary about it while eliding the juicy details? Because that’s what we’re getting. This blows. Damn it, she’s probably not even going to angrily crush that muffin into crumbs as she tries and fails to stop herself from visualizing Helen in Ian’s arms!
NOBODY EVER CLAIMED SHE WAS
THE SONG IS “SHEENA IS A PUNK ROCKER,” LIKE ONE OF SEVERAL
WHAT ARE YOU EVEN TALKING ABOUT, YOU CLOYING LITTLE DOG