Loretta’s mom has to know she looks like Norman Bates’s mother, right
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Pluggers, 5/5/22
I think I’m discovering the shape that my Gen X pluggerdom is going to take: in constant complaints that Pluggers, the syndicated newspaper comic strip, is depicting the plugger lifestyle incorrectly! Anyway, for a plugger “logging on” is sitting on a log with a grandchild or a good buddy while fishing, are you trying to tell me that pluggers are lacking in human contact but have two-factor authentication turned on for most of their online accounts, are you for real
Mary Worth, 5/5/22
Every ongoing work of art creates narrative suspense in its own unique way. Mary Worth, for instance, is keeping us guessing this week. Yes, in any normal storytelling situation, if there had been some big drama built up and suddenly we smash-cut to one of the participants telling a third party “Oh, yes, the conflict was resolved, my husband took care of it off-panel,” we’d obviously expect that the problem has not, in fact, been solved at all! Because that doesn’t really make sense, and it doesn’t make for a very satisfying story. There’s gotta be something more to it! But this is Mary Worth, so there is in fact only a fifty-fifty chance that there’s something more to it.
Lockhorns, 5/5/22
An ordinary person would just do the Jaws music at this point, but no ordinary person would remain in the twisted, hate-filled Lockhorn marriage as long as Leroy Lockhorn. Somehow the thought of Leroy delivering this line in a soul-numbed monotone is both infinitely funnier and infinitely sadder than just having him go “Daaaaahhhh DUNH” or whatever.
Shoe, 5/5/22
While the bird-Jews of Shoe still follow the teachings of the Torah and the Talmud, it appears the bird-Christians have turned their back on the Nicene Creed and now worship the Father, the Son, and the late Jeff MacNelly.
231 replies to “Loretta’s mom has to know she looks like Norman Bates’s mother, right”
Dennis the Menace: Just what kind of kinky tea parties does Alice throw if showering is typically involved? Has to be for her OnlyFans site.
Snuffy Smith: You’re a Plugger (or Loweezy) if you’re so fat you crash through the porch’s floor.
Luann: Dismantle the disgusting icky sticky “Privacy Hut?” Champagne rooms are cleaner. [shudder]
Mutts yesterday: I don’t get the joke. I mean, sure if Rocker was a breed of dog, it would be a cute pun, but I’ve literally never heard of that.
Or am I to assume that Brio literally has a secret life where he (she?) sneaks out of the shelter at night and sings at rock performances. Actually, that would make an adorable premise for a cartoon! Screw “Pound Puppies” I want “Punk Rocker Puppy”
Mutts today: Brio gets the zoomies. So does my dog, what’s the joke? Go back to the rock star persona…. seriously that was cool.
9CL: Don’t worry. 75% of the audience has left by now, considering you’ve stopped playing music altogether. The other 25% are hoping Chedda will take another live pregnancy test to confirm the results of the first one.
Luann: My mind is blown at how much dumb is in this single strip. Good show, Evanses!
Shoe-Praise be to Jeff!
Archie-“A swelled head you say,” Veronica says and heads back to Dilton’s lab.
RMMD-“My keys now.”
MW-Cut to: Helen and Ian out in the woods and Helen’s digging her grave.
FC-“Dig deeper. PJ’s got to be in there somewhere.”
FW-One of those covers is a variant.
FW-This week has been a silent tribute to Neal Adams.
Ah, but what if Mary Worth jump cuts to a character describing how the problem was easily solved off-panel and that’s all there is to it… five days in a row?! Then, that would be quite the dramatic sting, wouldn’t it?!
Slylock Fox: I foresee bell ringing in a French belfry in this guy’s future.
Zits: The cat clearly sees Wilbur Weston rummaging through the cabinets looking for mayonnaise.
Pluggers: Alternate captions: Pluggers are so repellent they have no friends. Pluggers’ friends are too stupid know how to use a device even six year olds have mastered. Pluggers are so stupid they gave the wrong phone number to their friends.
Six Chix: I accidentally clicked on this strip. What the fresh Hell?
Mary Worth – If this were AP English, we would be discussing the obvious symbolism of the pair of white doves flying freely after the resolution of conflict. But this isn’t high school, and Moy-Brigman are no Faulkner. So it’s most likely the colorist didn’t realize they were supposed to be turkey vultures.
@Giant Telepathic Otter: Your problem is that you’re looking for a joke in Mutts.
MW: Toby and Mary avert their eyes from the mating pigeons…or Wilbur on the pool deck.
MW: Toby: “Yes, and he says he intends to talk to her every other Friday evening from now on.”
RMMD: Drunk: “Beat it. This ain’t none of your business”
Sweeper: “I beg to differ”
[20 minutes of the Sweeper trying to get broom handle onto slightly larger key ring in drunk’s hand]
Drunk: “Hey, my keys!”
GT: I’ve never seen someone so nervous about the decision to go for Pizza or to the Bucket.
GT: “We have to talk about Gregg’s dad.”
Scotter: “He’s kindahot, I guess.”
Careful, Toby—the Love Doves are about,
MW: Working in the garden beds below, Carlos curses as he suddenly realizes the pigeons have shit on him…again.
Dustin: At least Fitch didn’t attempt some kind of line about the waitress’s clam chowder. That’s a small victory.
CS: In space, no one can hear you grill out.
FW: Wow! Just like the Hitchhiker’s Guide trilogy, only this is not remotely funny or engaging.
FC: “There are a lot of empty bottles with X-A-N-A-X in here.”
MW: Hey, it’s some more of that charming Mary Worth passive aggression. “Your husband’s not easily forgotten,” is such an awesome burn.
MW: Mary tries to change the subject. “Toby, why don’t we take in a movie? The Retroplex is showing “Play Misty for Me.”
@Baja Gaijin:
Your comment got me curious to checking out Six Chix…. what have you done!!??? How many more will fall victim to reading today’s Six Chix? No-one should be subjected to those horrors….
Shoe: So Roz and Skyler don’t participate in the toast? I’ve never even seen some of these (I guess supposed to be) beloved supporting characters, but two of the most recognizable characters don’t appear? My guess — they’re in the kitchen, cleaning up the dirty glasses these clowns have created so far. Bet they don’t even get a tip!
@Baja Gaijin, @Giant Telepathic Otter: I’m not surprised at anything Mari’lo’ton, I mean Mary Lawton, inflicts on us every Thursday and sixth Sunday in her attempts to entertain and understand humanity…
Dennis the Menace : this strip
didn’t have the couragehad the restraint to have Dennis using the last available towel, instead of bursting into the room demonstrating they’ve run out of towels by not wearing any.********
Hagar the Horrible : Medieval fantasy settings always forget they’re not supposed to have tomatoes.
********
Pluggers : have more internet devices than friends that are a) living, b) capable of using the internet, c) actually willing to talk to them.
9CL – As sexy and sophisticated sex comedies go, I guess I’d just hope for a little better than “OMG you referred to your urine!”
Not clear is whether they have a live microphone and the entire audience can actually hear the conversation, in which case his concern over her lack of professionalism is well-founded, or if he’s just stunned that she would use such an outrageous word to refer to tinkle juice, which he makes only when he is safely at home in his own bathroom.
RMMD: Proof that the mean streets CAN be tamed, with nothing but determination and a broom.
MW: Are Helen and Ian still locked in an embrace? Why won’t Toby and Mary make eye contact? Were the muffins moist?
MW: “No, she paid him to have sex with her, it was that kind of trick. Unsurprisingly she no longer has any interest in him.”
Tune on to tomorrow‘s Shoe when they salute Pink Lady.
Pluggers remember before smartphones, they could only download twice a week.
Pluggers – I’m gonna sit right down and write myself a letter; And make believe it came from an expatriate Nigerian prince…,
MW – Your husband’s not easily forgotten. Jeff still talks about the time he plugged the toilet on his boat….
Schlockhorns – I’m trying to understand the size of the woman in the window based on some reasonable assumptions about position and perspective. I don’t think Leroy has to worry – I doubt she’ll clear the door jam….
Shoe – A wise man once said it’s hard to kick against the goads – even harder to take a good kick to the gonads….
Adios Amigos, DJ.
Mary Worth: “I guess she fu-FORGAVE him”
@nescio: Tune in, that is.
Pluggers: So Jerry Siegel’s contributions to the world of comics include Superman and this Pluggers, huh? Impressive.
MW: “Everything’s cool now, Mary. To symbolize their coming to peace, Ian and Helen transmogrified into doves.”
‘horns: You have to admire Leroy’s willingness to commit to the bit. He’s going to clown on Loretta’s mother, even though the latter is coming directly from a funeral and is obviously in mourning for someone.
Shoe: My favorite part of this is that the birds have no idea where to look. Is Jeff in heaven? Hell? Watching from another tree? They don’t know. So they end up looking in all directions simultaneously. Jeff’s gotta be somewhere in there.
Pluggers gave their Facebook password to hot-singles-in-your-area.co-m.chat.net.zh and now get 5 log-in attempts a day from Vladivostok.
MW: Ian “talked” to her and that turned, er, I mean, that ” did” the trick.
Luann So if the geniuses make Steph give them their time in the privacy hut, she will evilly want to have her own time? And this is somehow like ticket scalping?
Have the Evanses been taking “non-sequiturs” that are supposed to sound like dialogue” lessons from Tom Batiuk?
@Old School Allie Cat: Today’s Mary Worth is guest directed by John Woo
FC: Jeffy will soon try to see how many of the objects will fit in his bodily orifices, especially his butt.
@taig, 9CL: Only 60% of the audience has left. The remaining 15% are hoping, since she’s already pregnant, to have a live sex act while performing.
MW: That’s… that’s the most boring off-screen resolution this strip has ever done. And that’s saying much.
MW: “Your husband’s not easily forgotten. It’s hard to get free of him. That thing on his chin is actually Velcro.”
I so detest The Lockhorns that if I’m reading the comics in a newspaper I place a scrap of paper over the strip so that my eyes don’t accidently land on it. Thanks for nothing Josh.
Never in a million years would I have guessed that John Woo would end up directing this particular motion picture, but hey, I like being surprised. Summer 2023: Mary/Worth.
Pluggers are lonely, and try to fill the emptiness with many, many substack subscriptions.
MW: Trying to figure out the symbolism of the white doves in that first panel. Is that to say that peace has finally come to Ian and Toby’s condo, or perhaps a (magic) ‘trick’ gone terribly wrong…
Lhorns: Meanwhile, Loretta’s mother seems to have fallen asleep on her feet, halfway up the walk, like a narcoleptic horse…
Shoe: God, if I was a character in this strip I feel like I would be cursing the Creator rather than saluting him.
Shoe : …waitaminnit, I just realised : if “National Cartoonist Day” is an actual thing, why is friggin’ SHOE, of all strips, the only one acknowledging it!?
I would have thought it’d have been Funky Winkerbean (along with the upcoming Free Comic Book Day), what with this week being set at a comic book studio and featuring comic book artists, but no, they don’t mention it, but SHOE does.
@MKay: MW: Are Helen and Ian still locked in an embrace? Why won’t Toby and Mary make eye contact? Were the muffins moist?
* * *
Not as moist as Helen. Or maybe Ian is even moister.
@Baja Gaijin:
Six Chix: I accidentally clicked on this strip. What the fresh Hell?
I do the same thing with Vicodin.
@allangary: Mr. Charterstone used to tape a scrap of paper over Gasoline Alley before I came down for breakfast each morning. It was such a lovely gesture.
MW: I hope everyone’s enjoying the aerial antics of the Doves o’ Love! Romance is in the air! Yeah, ever since we suggested they needed foreground expository Animals like Mark Trail (in its heyday) our Avians have added a touch of class to this comic! And the best thing is… they’re non-specific as to whose relationship is being symbolized! Gets the audience involved … I gotta say this was a genius idea, almost as profitable as “Dogs are Good!”
Mutts: We’ve put in an application for Brio – those zoomies aren’t a drawback …. we think she’d do great in slapstick roles.
Zits: Whatta hair-raising performance by Cat Feliday – in the role of “Clapton” Yes, that’s her real fur, no extensions!
“Your husband’s not easily forgotten! I mean, it’s not like I’ve been friends with him for years and can’t remember his name. Good old Toby’s husband. Old… male friend, not Wilbur. Ha ha, we have so many fun nicknames.“
The cartoonist died and three days later the comic strip rose from the dead. Does the syndicate have offices in every city, town, and village for the faithful to come worship?
@Zla’od: So we’re just doing political rants in the comments with only the barest connection to comic strips, huh.
Anyway…
https://joshreads.com/posting-and-discussion-policies/
I’m trying.
“Ian never realized that Helen carried a torch for him for so many years…Anyway, she talked to him and that did the trick…Now she never wants to hear from him again! Problem solved!”
Mary Worth – “Your husbands package is not easily forgotten” quips Mary.
Ian returns home with his fly down.
Problem solved.
Curtis – Fuck off Curtis , everyone knows you’re a lazy bum and a sponge.
Marvin – im so sick of Jenny, she is a useless
whiny bitch who has 1 small child yet plays the martyr. get a job and help pay the bills woman or get out.
No, the doves in Mary Worth have nothing to do with the narrative. Clearly, they flew over from Mark Trail, tempted by Ian’s beard as a potential nesting site.
MW: Toby’s eyes are shifted to her extreme right. Mary’s eyes are shifted to her extreme left. I suppose that means something, but do I care? No I don’t.
To be fair to the Lockhorns (a phrase I never thought I’d use), imagine trying to write out the Jaws theme phonetically, in a way that every reader can understand. More likely the confused letters to the editor would be a repeat of the great Cow Tools incident on a much smaller scale.
Though, it would be pretty great to see a strip where Leroy does nothing but make incoherent noises.
Shoe – So, with bird religion, are all birds of a certain species celebrants of a religion, or does each bird choose its own practices based on personal preference. That is to say, are all pelicans Jewish, or are only the ones who don’t eat shrimp (because it’s trayf) Jewish?
Presumably all cardinals are Catholic?
Are Muscovy ducks Eastern Orthodox?
So many questions!
If today is National Cartoonists Day, in theory we should celebrate them and their work, rather than carping like we always do.
…
Welcome to the Comics Curmudgeon Liars’ Club! Now you tell one.
@Old School Allie Cat: Pelicans are Catholic.
A major reason Pluggers and the Lockhorns track as Silent Generation or Boomer, and not Gen X? The way they dress, and the way they wear their hair, are clearly frozen in time. Both Leroy and the Plugger in today’s entry might look GenX if they ditched the Danny DeVito/Wallace Shawn hair remnant and perhaps shaved it all off. They could also grow goatees if they were older millennials. Loretta could grow her hair down to her shoulders and wear mom jeans. If even Mary Worth and Mark Trail can update their looks, then there’s still hope.
MW: The expression on both Toby’s and Mary’s face is the exact expression people have when they don’t believe a word of what they’re saying. Toby fears that Ian and Helen are getting it on, and Mary is certain of it.
CS: Ed is still using a 1950s-era backyard grill because no business in Ohio would dare sell him a tank of propane.
FW: “We’re doing a
n environmentaltrilogyof storiesabout climate change.” Nice tight writing, Batiuk, you hack.RMMD: And another miscreant is foiled by The Broom O’ Justice.
“Your husband’s not easily forgotten! Lord knows I’ve tried! Booze, pills, illegal brain surgery in Paraguay from a guy who looked really German, home trepanation, meditiation, Rolfing, full aura removal, smudging with sage, electroshock, the Ludovico technique, sweat lodges, sunrise peyote with an ancient Aztec shaman, and all I got from it was random bolding and intrusive sudden memories of Ian.”
Mary Worth: 300 pounds (or 5’7″ and 2 bills + change), dresses in tweed despite living in Southern California, typically drunk, with a chinbeard and a heavy investment in his school’s Promotion & Tenure committee? He’ll be forgotten the day his journal articles are no longer cited! Which is to say, yesterday.
@Voshkod: “Your husband’s not easily forgotten!”
“Who hurt you, Mary?”
“Ian. I would have thought that was obvious.”
@pastordan: I’ll have a go.
I admire Tom Batiuk’s amazing wit and his ability to keep his finger on the pulse of the state of the world with his timely insights into current events.
@taig: I admire the way whatever committee writes Luann portrays modern college life so accurately.
I also miss Watterson and Thompson.
@Inspector Gotcha: He must have bristled.
@Austria: “She sent four quavers, a group of five quavers, a group of four semi-quavers…”
@Professor Well Actually: They’re probably both shifting their eyes from the extreme right to the extreme left and back again.
@pastordan: I admire 9CL’s ability to depict honest, egalitarian relationships grounded in emotional intimacy rather than simple lust.
I admire JP for showing the diversity in women’s body types.
@taig: I for one am enthralled by the wit and whimsy of Brooke McEldowney.
MW: “Dig if you will the picture
Of Ian and Helen engaged in a kiss
The sweat of his chinbeard covers her
Can you my darling
Can you picture this?
Dream, if you can, a condo
An ocean of muffins await
Women strike curious poses
They feel the heat
The heat from Mary’s oven
How can you just leave muffins standing
Alone in a world as they turn so cold?
Maybe I’m just too demanding
Maybe I’m just like Wilbur
Maybe you’re just like Iris
She’s never satisfied (she’s never satisfied)
Why do we scream at each other?
This is what it sounds like
When doves fly”
@matt w, @Zla’od:
I asked Zl’aod nicely to knock it off a couple of days ago, because I have people in my family who are transgender.
In the commenting guide, Josh writes:
Let me be clear that it PISSES ME RIGHT THE FUCK OFF to read that kind of shit here because that’s my family you’re attacking. So maybe stop PISSING PEOPLE OFF when they’ve asked you (nicely) to stop previously. Keep your obsession with transgender people to yourself, or at least go take it out on PornHub.
And by the way, at least three regular commentors have asked you to stop it, Zl’aod. So cut it the fuck out.
MW: “Your husband’s not easily forgotten. That ridiculous beard of his stands out like a strobing beacon of douchebaggery.”
I wondered why I hadn’t seen Dr. Jeff Corey in Mary Worth lately, and now I find out he was off creating a horrifying bird/human hybrid society.
CS – I’d like someone smarter than I am to explain to me how much lighter fluid it would take for a backyard grill to achieve escape velocity. I’d also like someone smarter than I am to explain to me why I want to make sense of this incredibly stupid strip.
National Cartoonist Day, or whatever – Comics are a visual medium, so I will express my respect, once again, for the way that Nine Chickweed Lane always manages to give exactly zero background detail, allowing the reader the opportunity to spend all day wondering what the fuck is supposed to be going on in 9CL that day.
The caption on the Lockhorns wasn’t actually meant as a caption. Newspapers were supposed to launch a new sound chip tech (based on those greeting cards) today, but it got delayed. This was a note to the technician to help her properly configure the chips.
@brendancalling: You’re not alone. There’s a whole big internet to be political in, we don’t need it here.
Shoe is Nietzschean universe in which God is dead but its inhabitants are full of joy and merriment. Truly if you gaze into the googly eyes of horrors, the googly eyes of horror gaze also into you!
MW: We’ll learn how Ian “solved” the problem when Carlos the gardener discovers Helen’s body buried in the flowerbed, which is why the turkey vultures are circling.
(Thanks, charterstoned, for “Carlos the gardener”; and Old School Allie Cat for “turkey vultures”.)
MW: “Your husband is not easily forgotten”
“Well, it helps to have as a reminder a bastard child without child support!”
TL: The theme of Jaws has lyrics no one uses. But they are just the word “Jaw” repeated with different intonation
Mary Worth: oh, the drama! Toby’s been fretting about Helen reporting her to “school management” forever. We get the Helen and Ian showdown, and it amounts to:
IAN: Helen, knock if off already.
HELEN: Okay, Ian. Whatever you say.
@pastordan: I’m impressed by the way Doonesbury hasn’t aged @Weaselboy: During the Pascal-B underground nuclear test, a two ton steel plate may have been accidentally launched at a speed six times higher then escape velocity (although it probably disintegrated on the way up). That was a 300-ton TNT equivalent test. But that’s neither here nor there.
The engine for the U-2 used a stabilized form of lighter fluid. That engine provided 17,000 pound/feet of thrust. So . . . let me get my slide rule . . . carry the seven . . . to put an non-aerodynamic object into an elliptical orbit would require enough lighter fluid to turn Crankshaft and anyone nearby to chaff and carnage. Therefore, we can safely assume Crankshaft is dead, and continue to ignore his titular strip. Don’t blame me, that’s science talking.
MARY WORTH: See, it’s funny because Toby and Mary are eatbg muffins and right Ian’s with Helen doing the same thing.
You’re a Plugger if you are deluded enough to think your identity is valuable enough to be stolen
@Weaselboy: Sorry, my prior comment was aimed at you, not pastordan, but like Crankshaft, I missed.
MW: “He talked to her and that did the trick! Apparently verbal communication is a way to solve interpersonal issues! I should try it sometimes, instead of Wilburing it up!”
MW: Mary’s “guess” that Helen “forgave” Ian is rather presumptuous on her part. If Mary is a perennial optimist who only sees the best possible outcome for every domestic problem, she will be ill-equipped to deal with the probability that Helen *didn’t* forgive Ian in the past, *doesn’t* forgive him now, and *never will* forgive him, and will instead harbor a seething bitter hatred against the blustering Scotsman and his vapid trophy wife for the rest of her miserable life, and no amount of muffins will ever rectify that. See what you’ve done, Mary??? SEEE?????
I can only suspend my disbelief so far, I can’t hoist it up high enough to believe in a world where Ian and Wilbur are irresistible to women. My disbelief is going to snap and take our a crowd of innocent bystanders, you monsters.
I’m pretty sure the Plugger version of “logging on” increasingly takes all morning to accomplish. Still done sitting down, though.
@Ettorre: #79
Even the dark web has *minimum* standards…
@Charterstoned: Very sweet. That’s the type of thing that makes a relationship work.
Shoe/Pluggers: “Pluggers” was also created by Jeff MacNelly, but dog-guy is just checking his phone messages. Are Pluggers, like, atheists or something?
6Chx: “I keep a piece of chocolate under my tongue 24/7. My teeth are nothing but a mouthful of rotted stumps, is what I’m saying, so ixnay on the oggingsnay.”
@MKay: #20
“RMMD: Proof that the mean streets CAN be tamed, with nothing but determination and a broom.”
And some serious eye-hand coordination. In all sincerity, Sweeper’s deft move with the broom handle is admirable!
6Chix: I never, ever thought that anything could make chocolate disgusting to me, but this has done it. Ew.
MW: “Your husband’s not easily forgotten.” It’s true, C. Everett Koop is the only surgeon general of my lifetime whose name I can remember.
MW: So, that’s that. All that’s left is a week-long pool party where everyone congratulates Mary for somehow fixing everything without actually doing anything at all. The shocking twist comes a week from Saturday when it’s revealed to readers that Toby and Cal have been having an affair all along.
Ahhhh, who am I kidding? The pool party will end with Wilbur falling in love with Chatterstone’s newest resident, Heloise Hellman, the mayonnaise heiress, launching a story arc that will last through Thanksgiving.
Kudos to Pluggers for trying to teach kids the various permutations of ‘ding.’ ‘Ding,’ a bell is ringing. ‘Dang,’ the bell is telling him something he doesn’t want to know. ‘Dong,’ oh hell, the pictures went public. ‘Dung,’ what he just did in his pants. ‘Deng,’ the paramount leader of the PRC just liked the pictures?
@Daisy:
“MW: Mary’s “guess” that Helen “forgave” Ian is rather presumptuous on her part. ”
Unless Moy chooses to take the easy way out and let the story end here (which a lot of people here seem to be assuming), I can see two ways this plot can twist:
1. Yes, Helen forgave Ian after they had makeup sex on her desk, and he promised to come back and see her every weekend when Toby was busy eating muffins with Mary. Their affair continues until Toby walks in on them.
2. Helen did not forgive Ian but just changed the target of her vendetta from Toby to Ian. This takes the pressure off Toby but, unknown to her, makes Ian’s life living hell. The only way this can end is with death of Helen, or Ian, or both.
I think my favorite thing about Heathcliff is that I never know WTF Gately’s nephew is doing, but it’s always weird.
The vast majority of the characters in Luann don’t need a Fuck Hut™, because they don’t fuck. I think it’s accepted that Bets and Cunther fuck, but they have Gunther’s shed for that action, which gives Dez plenty of time for naked yoga. For that matter, Bets could always take a walk—it’s not like yoga takes hours and hours of time. (Also, Evans gives special attention to Bets’s camel toe in panel 2.)
With Stef and Kip banging away for hours in the Fuck Hut™, Tiffany has plenty of time to go rub one out in the privacy of her empty dorm room.
Sux Chex: Are those supposed to represent… human beings? That’s not what humans look like.
Marvin: Ginny is mad because Dicknose correctly identifies their child as “special needs.” Also, no wonder he shits so much: eating crayons can give you diarrhea!
Mark Trail: Hadn’t read it for two weeks until today, and won’t read it again anytime soon.
MW: “Your husband’s not easily forgotten”
If that’s a compliment, it’s a rather backhanded one, right? Right, Mary? Toby seems to take it at face value, bless her simple soul.
@Tabby Lavalamp: #44
BIG thumbs up! Thank you for sharing!
Blondie: Raiser requests in the suggestion box? Mr. Dithers must really be tyrannizing his staff if they don’t dare approach him directly about raises but have to make anonymous suggestions that perhaps the salary level is a bit low. I suppose you can’t blame them – they’ve seen Dithers kicking Dagwood’s butt a few times too often. At least this time he’s letting off steam on the piñata and not on his employees. If ever a workplace needed a union, this must be it.
Shoe: Why won’t Roz be joining the fellas in this little toast? Either she’s an atheist, or they’ve got a “No Girls Allowed” thing going, or, sadly, she’s off-panel preparing more drinks for them.
@Oversized Garden Ornament: No shitzky. I wondered the same thing about raise requests in the suggestion box.
But I gotta hand it to ol’ J. C.; at least he checks the suggestion box.
At my workplace, the joke is that we can put stuff in the suggestion box instead of a shredder because it has the same effect. Occasionally, we submitted a suggestion that someone check the suggestion box and read the suggestions once in a while. Might as well have put that in the shredder.
MW: When I say she carried a torch for Ian I mean she literally carried this huge-ass butane fueled torch behind Ian wherever he walked on campus. It’s some old Scottish custom, like eating haggis or tossing the caber.
Is this Wilburp’s favorite day – when he gets cinco jars of mayo?
@14 Giant Telepathic Otter:
I looked at 9CL for the first time in over a year because of Baja‘s comment. Serves me right as punishment for all the times I tricked him into clicking on an EVILSCARYCLOWN link.
But to answer Baja‘s question, “What fresh hell is this?” I really don’t want to know and will do what’s necessary to not find out?
At least this time it wasn’t Poteet‘s fault for getting me to look at 9CL.
Another thing, how does one “accidentally” click on 9CL?
@taig: #59
Touché! And I likewise admire his astonishingly clever and never-ending wordplay in Crankshaft! Tom B. has re-written the entire art of punnery! To quote someone from the internets (qz.com):
“Indeed, many a great mind has been inclined to pun. The 18th-century English poet and philosopher Samuel Taylor Coleridge thought it was practically a prerequisite to intelligence, declaring, “All men who possess at once active dance, imagination, and philosophical spirit, are prone to punning.”” that’s it. Nothing more can be said about T. B.’s wordplay. It is the Mt. Everest of comic writing.
…and, darn it, I’m feeling a tiny pang of shame for telling such a bald-faced lie…I mean, he sincerely believes his comics are entertaining, and to many folks, they are…but here, they’re grist for the snark mill, and that mill grinds exceedingly fine!
@Inspector Gotcha:
“MW: The expression on both Toby’s and Mary’s face is the exact expression people have when they don’t believe a word of what they’re saying. Toby fears that Ian and Helen are getting it on, and Mary is certain of it.”
Mary certainly seems to harbour certain doubts. I’m not so sure of Toby – she is too grateful that Ian managed to put an end to Helen’s harassing her that she doesn’t want to think too much about how he did it.
Mary is more like, “OK, Toby, if that’s what you want to believe I won’t shatter your illusions. Here – have another muffin. They’re soothing.”
Rex: “At least give back my apartment key. I don’t get why you want that one. I didn’t know it was morally wrong to sleep in my own damn bed under the influence. Is it illegal to barf in my toilet, too?”
Lorretta’s Mom doesn’t care that she looks like Mrs Bates,or that she (and her daughter) resemble her Son-in-Law.
@Daisy:
I toyed with the idea of eulogizing Brooke McEldowney for his never-ending effort of turning comics into high art; for his celebration of the female form, witty dialogue, highly refined subject matter, relatable realistic characters and masterful plotting of 9CL; as well as for his breathless, highly literate prose in Pibgorn…
…but I just couldn’t stomach it. There are limits to how ironic you can get.
If only movies were resolved like Mary Worth comic strips.
Iron Man: “Thanos. This has got to stop.”
Thanos: “Oh. OK.”
*SMASH CUT TO CAPTAIN AMERICA TALKING TO ANT MAN* “..And so Thanos just brought everyone back.”
*CREDITS*
Alley Oop has turned into Peabody’s Improbable History, really fast.
Shoe: If Jeff MacNelly was the Creator, does that mean Gary Brookins was his One True Prophet? And is there now a schism between the Shoe and Pluggers sects?
My last comment went into moderation. Apparently, I went overboard with Shoe theology.
Dustin: Kudos to the writer for taking an old joke which has been retold a gazillion times, modifying it slightly to fit his characters, and managing to ruin the punchline.
(The original joke is something like “Would you like French or Spanish oysters, sir?” “Doesn’t matter, I’m not going to talk to them”, but of course Dustin and his friend can’t afford oysters, so it has to be clam chowder instead. The problem is that the new punchline is less absurd hence less funny.)
@Calvin’s Cardboard Box: The exchange between Hugh and Xiulan is really out of character for Hugh. He’s been portrayed as a milquetoast who worships Xiulan, so I can’t imagine him actually reproving her at all, much less in front of other people. He should be melting into a pile of goo instead of being shocked. I guess Brooke’s characters can change at the drop of a hat and be whatever he wants them to be for the moment.
@brendancalling: Thank you. I agree with you.
@brendancalling: Insert thumbs up emoji here
@Voshkod: And another one, plus a golf clap.
Frazz – The cat is most likely “pondering” how to get outside, especially how to make a meal out of those birds he’s watching.
Crankshaft – It’s a given that I’ll hate this strip, but for some reason I loathe this week’s strips with the heat of a thousand suns.
Wouldn’t the grill burn up on its plunge through the atmosphere?
FW – Comics wankery! Smirks! Easter Island heads! This is almost peak Funky Winkerbean.
6Chix – What is she actually telling him? Her dental bills are astronomical? Her breath can kill a buffalo at twenty paces?
FC – “Look at all these bottles! What’s V-O-D-K-A?”
Notice the electrical plug with the broken cord. Why in the world did she not throw that away?
@Oversized Garden Ornament:
OGO, bless you, but you take comments way too seriously.
Blondie the Neighborhood Bumstead : Guess he couldn’t get one in the shape of Dagwood’s hinder.
@Voshkod: #77
“Therefore, we can safely assume Crankshaft is dead, and continue to ignore his titular strip. Don’t blame me, that’s science talking.”
That’s the kind of science I love!!
@Daisy: I meant “comment 76,” doggone it!!! These comment threads are so confusing…sob!!!
@Anonymous: Pluggers are religious, but only in the sense that they take the “day of rest” very seriously.
That probably already exists as a strip.
@Applemask: #83
I’m certain far more clever and quick wits than mine have responded, but for Pluggers, “logging on” requires that they go into the forest, find an appropriate log, drag the log back to their cabin and plunk it down on the floor in front of whatever hulking device they use for electronic communication. And to say a Plugger is “online” means that the Plugger has a fish on his fishing line. Pppffftttbbb!!!
Oh, let me sing the praises of Crock. It is the best of comic strips and the original cartoonists, Bill Rechin and Brant Parker are the greatest. I wake up every morning and can’t wait to see the latest desert adventures of that gallant troop of legionnaires and their stalwart commander! And the babes, WOW!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
This is one of the biggest loads of crock you’ll see today.
@Oversized Garden Ornament: #93
#2 is quite dark indeed. Perhaps a one-eyed dog will wander on campus, seek out Helen, who needs emotional support, and becomes her cherished animal companion. Because as KM drummed into our subconscious for weeks on end, “dogs are GOOD!”
@I speak Jive: 9CL – ” The exchange between Hugh and Xiulan is really out of character for Hugh. He’s been portrayed as a milquetoast who worships Xiulan, so I can’t imagine him actually reproving her at all, much less in front of other people.”
Hugh is also portrayed as so painfully shy that he will run home and hide under his bed if a woman says hello to him, and is afraid to go potty unless he is safe at home in his own bathroom. So him having a breakdown over his wife mentioning the word “urine” is in character.
Many things are less clear. Can the audience hear this conversation, or is Hugh overreacting? Did she walk out on stage and then pee on the stick, or did she pee on it just before coming out? Today’s “well, I wanted to know if I was pregnant, so I checked the results of a pregnancy test I’d taken some time earlier” really doesn’t clarify anything. If she’s so interested, then why did she wait until just before going on stage to take the test? And if she walked on stage first and then anointed the stick, then Hugh is focusing on the entirely wrong behavior here.
@Oversized Garden Ornament: #107
“…but I just couldn’t stomach it. There are limits to how ironic you can get.”
…and there are limits to what the human soul can tolerate…I can’t even bring myself to *glance* at Pibgorn any more. It is [speaking only for myself] insane, inane gibberish. Blah! Blech! Retch!
@Inspector Gotcha: #117
“OGO, bless you, but you take comments way too seriously.”
OTOH, this *is* Mary Worth… :-)
@Sequitur: #123
Sequitur…how do you live with yourself??? *grin*
@pastordan: Seems to me we could just copy and paste stuff from the strips’ “About” pages.
“Pluggers chronicles the hardworking people the world depends on.”
“LUANN is a compelling saga of life’s most volatile stage.”
“Six Chix is a unique daily comic strip… On any week, you might find gags about the economy, technology, zombies, pirates or health — and the main characters will be female and funny.”
The Six Chix one was doing okay right up until that last word…
@pastordan:
Sincere compliment: I absolutely adore Jimmy Johnson’s “Arlo and Janis,” which is often befuddling but always good. And I like Peter Gallagher’s take on “Heathcliff.”
@128 Daisy:
@Peanut Gallery:
Funky Winkerbean: “The cartoonist not only entertains teenagers and adults alike with his portrayal of the students and faculty at Westview High but has earned high marks for his sensitive treatment of important social and educational issues.”
@brendancalling: Oh, we’re doing sincere praise now? OK, let me try: Every time he organizes stray electronics into patterns that are recognizable as Funky Winkerbean and Crankshaft, Batuik reverses, albeit in a small way, the onrushing inexorable tide of entropy, creates signal over noise, order over chaos.
Everyone knows that Jerry Seigel and his partner Joe Shuster created Superman in the 1930s and loaded it with many socially beneficial messages against bigotry, the abuses of big business and corrupt government, and alerting children to dangers they could face.
They were also notoriously screwed out of their just wages and ownership of the property. It’s sad to see Seigel, in his desire to reach the older audience who grew up on his work with a message of the importance of cybersecurity, has been reduced to submitting to Pluggers.
MW – Mary has never realized that the townspeople of Santa Royale have been carrying a torch for her all these years, but that’s just because they can’t find her condo.
@I speak Jive: You might also think that Hugh would have some sort of reaction to finding out he’s going to be a daddy.
@135 cheech wizard:
I’m sure there are plenty of people who would like to torch her condo.
“Torch her condo.” Is that what the young people are calling it these days?
love is… finding weird toilets.
@Sequitur:
Not sure about 9CL but with Six Chix, I imagine one would be scrolling through the list of comics on CK and mouse slips or clicks on the one above or below the comic they actually meant to go to?
@139 Giant Telepathic Otter:
Well, to be fair, I guess the same thing could happen with 9CL if one is reading it on ArcaMax.
@Peanut Gallery:
Josh said this about a very very early riff on Lockhorns.
Here’s part of what King Features has to say about The Lockhorns: “The award-winning Lockhorns panel gently spoofs the state of marital bliss … Their snappy repartee and witty banter has made them a perennial favorite.” This is for the most part accurate, if you were to change “gently spoofs” to “questions the very possibility of,” “snappy repartee and witty banter” to “passive-aggressive attempts to emotionally destroy one another,” and “perennial favorite” to “horrifying cautionary example.”
@Voshkod: Only for Jimmy Johnson and the Heathcliff guy, in my case! To the rest of them, i quote another cartoon: IT STINKS.
@Ukulele Ike: 9CL “ You might also think that Hugh would have some sort of reaction to finding out he’s going to be a daddy.”
Who said Hugh is going to be a daddy? Given his history I think it’s more likely that Seth has had to step in once again.
Lockhorns
I can’t stand the Lockhorns. If your marriage is horrible, why not get a divorce and move on to something you both enjoy?
Yes, I get the joke of the title, and the whole premise, that they lock horns, like deer/elk/antlered creatures in heat, and will be in perpetual conflict. But why is this meant to be funny? Because the female is trapped?
It irks me in the same way as does the Dick Van Dyke show, except Loretta isn’t doped up on Valium or whatever the Rolling Stones meant by, “Mother’s Little Helper.”
MW: Yes, Ian the pretentious, cradle robbing, Amish-cosplayer is NOT easily forgotten. And that’s why I drink, to forget him.
@Calvin’s Cardboard Box: I’m trying to figure out what Brooke thinks has happened here.
I’d like to think that it’s just snarky ‘mudgeons who are reading this as if she just hiked up her gown and took a piss on stage and he didn’t really mean that, but honestly I can’t see another way to read it.
We could try to assume that he knows as much about pregnancy tests as he does about WWII, and therefore doesn’t understand that you pee on them, but that won’t work because he clearly gets that there is urine involved.
Unless he thinks it takes hours to show?
Or are we going to hear, in tomorrow’s strip, something like “Why shouldn’t I say urine in front of them when they all saw me urinating just a moment ago” from her?
I think it’s time to go check out that facebook group and see what they’re saying.
@Giant Telepathic Otter: Early Lockhorns strips weren’t so gentle. Loretta and Leroy routinely beat the living crap out of each other and had black eyes and broken bones to show for it.
@102 Sequitur: I did NOT accidentally see 9 Chickweed Lane. Or on purpose either. Don’t blame that on me.
Pluggers: The only DING! Pluggers care about is the one that indicates mug cakes are ready!
@,148 Baja Gaijin:
You said in your comment you accidentally clicked on it.
Vintage Mark Trail: Man, this is a blast from the past … I remember it well…
~~~~~~~~ (flashback music) ~~~~~~
It looked like everything was fine and dandy with Cricket and Andy now. But Andy only ageed to the cuddling scenes after Cricket was replaced by his stand-in double, Crockett. Cricket himself was of course grievously injured by frostbite and electrical burns, lost some of his digits, and sued the pants off of Mark Trail Enterprises. He’s still collecting benefits today… livin’ large at the Old Comics Animals home.
In the last panel you see one of Melody Mare’s illustrious show biz aunts, Michelle Mare. That whole family was unbelievably talented. Michelle here went for more dramatic roles in the nature vein, while some, like Melody, made their mark in musical comedy, starting out in Dog and Pony shows. You see where Melody gets her good looks! Great Equine genes.
And let me tell you it was no easy task gettin’ a hugh swarm of out-of-season Black Flies up to Maine to pester Doc. But we did it. Just gotta know the right contacts. And where to get Fly dope…. heh heh heh That’s what they called it back then….
@Baja Gaijin:
Six Chix: I accidentally clicked on this strip. What the fresh Hell?
______________________________________
You should’ve clicked yesterday’s strip with the cat version of “The Pina Colada Song”
If you like rolling in fish parts/batting the carcus with your paws/coming in after midnight/stealing the chocolate from your human’s tongue with just one bite.
It’s a whole tapestry of insanity that keeps on giving.
@brendancalling:
The Lockhorns were basicly “Andy Capp Minus Andy Capp”
In the world Pluggers have no choice but to live in, you don’t turn 2 factor authorization on, it turns on you. Every new program. Every log in from a different spot. Every time you mistype or forget a password. Every other time when you’re logging into the same old same old from the same old machine and it decides that you’re on an Unrecognized Device, just because it can.
And then it throws a random uselss number at the top of the text, while hiding the real one somewhere down below, because that’s how programmers get their jollies.
@brendancalling: #147
Good heavens – those were some dark comics. IIRC, “Family Circus” began in a darker vein too, with Bil coming off as belligerent and inebriated a lot of the time. Now, “Lockhorns” is mostly annoying mind games and nagging, and “Circus” is – to me – insipid and cloyingly sweet. In a way, I miss that hard edge. It was more true to life.
FW: Once again, nothing going on. Pass.
Lockhorns: Look closely, Marvin; these are going to be YOUR parents one day!
MW: Mary’s fully disappointed that she didn’t walk in on Toby nursing bruises and a fat lip from a cat fight with Helen. Not only that, Toby’s full on simping the large neutered lump of Amish she calls her husband. She wants to get out of it but wants the credit for pointing Toby in the “right” direction so she plants herself into the couch to quip. Suffer, you old crone!
RMMD: I’ll give you props for that, Clayton. But, seriously, call an Uber for the guy.
@Giant Telepathic Otter: #141
You nailed it!
If Mary Worth was a television soap opera, I would assume that the actors who played Helen or Ian refused to get vaccinated so they had to do a quick re-write to wrap up the storyline without them.
@I speak Jive: #116:
re-Crankshaft: Science says yes but Tom Batiuk says it will survive re-entry and take out Keesterman’s mailbox.
re-FC: Thel is hoping Jeffy plugs it in and puts the exposed copper wires in his mouth.
@VinegarMike: To be fair, most of the Mary Worth cast has probably already gotten the diseases that said vaccines are supposed to prevent…
@Little Blue Bicycle: Fun fact about Prince: he actually forbade Weird Al Yankovic from turning any of his songs into parodies (the opposite of Michael Jackson who gave him full rein to his music library save for “Black or White”) and even banned him from attending his concerts. That’s why you’ve never seen a Weird Al song based on anything done by Prince and likely never will.
tl;dr Prince was a pretentious asshole and Weird Al would be proud of you for those lyrics.
@Needless_Exposition: James Taylor described Prince as being “as serious as a heart attack”.
@Rube: Don’t get me wrong; Prince was a talented singer/songwriter and I’m a fan of his discography but that man had an ego that was its own stratosphere.
@Needless_Exposition: Although “Traffic Jam” off of Alapalooza is very much in the style of Prince.
@Majicou: Weird Al is very good at mimicking styles. If you ever heard “Good Old Days,” it was like a serial killer describing his exploits in the style of James Taylor.
@Anonymous: Yeah, I don’t think “The Lockhorns” is funny, and I don’t get why all these sitcoms, from “The Honeymooners” (“One of these days, Alice, I will hit you very hard, jk, lol”) on down to “Married with Children” (crude, mean-spirited couple can’t stand each other, plus have to deal with the crude, stupid teenagers they raised to be crude and stupid) are so beloved. I think the genre is gradually dying off, but my God people love these old shows.
Crank: It’s funny because if aliens had a grill, it would indicate that they liked grilling! And also because Ed is staring dumbly at the TV, presumably thinking “Huh, a grill in space. There’s a thing. Ah, well, whatever.”
FW: But does it have “DON’T PANIC” written on the cover in large, friendly letters?
Also, I’m sorry, but what kind of comics company publishes a four-part story and only needs four covers?
JP: Look, possibly unnamed roommate, I can totally understand why sharing digs with Sophie would have you trying to scope out hitpersons, but soliciting one from her sister is just awkward.
MW, meta: “But this is Mary Worth, so there is in fact only a fifty-fifty chance that there’s something more to it.” And even if there is, there’s still a fifty-fifty chance that that will be resolved by characters saying “Oh, yeah, it all got sorted out off-panel” as well. It’ll just take longer.
Phantom: So … is this the scenario if Stripey knows nothing about Mozz’s prediction, in which case it’s already an invalid prediction, or is Stripey secretly thinking “And in addition to being told about it afterwards, I was also told about it beforehand, but I can’t mention that because of the stupid agreement, even though Sarvana’s probably halfway to Tibet by now.”
Shoe: Note that bird-priest seems to be trying to cover his face in the final panel. Is he in witness protection, like Gregg’s dad in Gil Thorp? Is he embarassed to realise that he’s encouraging the idolatry of a guy who drew funny pictures? Or is he embarassed to realise “Wait a sec, is Jeff McNally my creator? I’m pretty sure I was created just now, for the sake of this joke.”
Horrified to realise I can name everyone except bird-priest and bird… train driver, maybe? Before I started visiting this site, I’d never heard of this strip!
@Needless_Exposition: Similarly, Taylor used the description as part of an appreciation of Prince when he died. Huge talent, but also a huge asshole.
@made of wince: It’s still pretty alive in India where married couples are forbidden from showing affection toward each other in media and have to tolerate each other at best and quietly loathe each other at worst.
@Anonymous: Shoe : …waitaminnit, I just realised : if “National Cartoonist Day” is an actual thing, why is friggin’ SHOE, of all strips, the only one acknowledging it!?
Good question, which inspired me to look up whether it was actually a thing. Turns out it is — aparently the 5th of May was the day Hogan’s Alley/The Yellow Kid started, aka The First Newspaper Cartoon. It’s been a thing since the 1990s, apparently, and yet this is the first time I have ever seen any newspaper comic strip mention it. Although back when it was new, strips used to have a black circle with “Cartoonists’ Day May 5th” that they would shove randomly in the strip somewhere (even Schulz did it!)
More (but, honestly, not much more) here: http://nationalcartoonistsday.com/
@Guillermo el chiclero: MW: When I say she carried a torch for Ian I mean she literally carried this huge-ass butane fueled torch behind Ian wherever he walked on campus. It’s some old Scottish custom, like eating haggis or tossing the caber.
I mean, you’re not wrong, but we generally only do it around Twelfth Night.
@Horace Broon:
Edison Lee also did National Cartoonist’s Day. So at least they have their story straight.
@Needless_Exposition:
I’m just going to leave this here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tdqPbLv5aUk
@Daisy: I understand the pang of shame, but I also feel like Batiuk puts himself on a pedestal.
@Daisy:
“@Inspector Gotcha: #117
“OGO, bless you, but you take comments way too seriously.”
OTOH, this *is* Mary Worth… :-)”
And Mary Worth is serious stuff!
Seriously (for real this time): taking silly things seriously (or pretending to take them seriously) is fun!
This is Priceless: Topless woman today.
BB: As Bing Crosby says, there’s always room for Jell-o.
@Inscrutably Scudder: I thought that was Jack Benny.
@176 Inscrutably Scudder:
I do believe that was a Bill Cosby or were you just trying not to mention Cosby’s name?
Bing said,
Famous last words.
@agony: 9CL – Taken literally, she tells him she just checked (not “took”) her pregnancy test and he freaks out and screams “in front of an audience!?!”, then later continues to lose it because she “referred to (her) urine” in front of an audience. Nowhere did she mention urine, so, again, assuming words mean what they usually do, he is freaking out that she checked the test, aka “referred to (her) urine” while on stage.
No explicit reference to her Anointing the Stick right on stage, but, why buy a pregnancy test and then carry it around with you all day until five minutes before putting on a concert for thousands of victims, then at the last second right before or after walking on stage just whip it out and whiz all over it?
It’s as if Brooke is pissing all over her moment when she learns she will be a mom. And it’s not even in the service of any of his fetishes, all just to make a … joke …. about Hugh’s issues with public urination, which date back to grade school when his mates saw what a dweeb he is an consequently took the piss all the time.
@Horace Broon: Yeah, Helen never understood that you only lit the torch after you imprisoned Ian in the Wicker Man.
@made of wince: I am in complete agreement with you about this style of humor, but my feelings about Loretta and Leroy are such that I would gladly mail Bunny Hoest TEN ENTIRE DOLLARS to bring domestic violence back to The Lockhorns.
The tall busty party babes also too.
@Baja Gaijin: “I accidentally clicked on this strip. What the fresh Hell?” : Six Chix :: “Christ, what an asshole!” : New Yorker cartoons.
9CL – If I want to be really generous, what I think is going on is that Brooke, in his usual poorly considered and illustrated manner, is playing to Chedda’s established character trait of having no fucks to give for anyone or anything. She will make out with her beak nosed husband in the diner at noon with a mouthful of hamburger that she swaps back and forth with him until he passes out from the embarrassment. She will smash generations of family heirlooms just so she can prove how few fucks she gives by frotting Hugh in the broken glass from the picture frames. She has zero decorum or dignity or self discipline and we love her for it!!!!
@Oversized Garden Ornament:
Okay, I’ll clarify. You take MY stupid little comments too seriously. Parsing them only makes them worse.
But I see your overall point, or else we all wouldn’t be here.
Apology to Baja Gaijin.
I could have sworn
turkeys can flyyou said you clicked 9CL instead of Six Chix. Mea culpa.However, they are both a fresh hell.
@Sequitur:
Got the reference!
@Sequitur: That’s why I’m inscrutable. Go ahead, try and scrute me. I dare you!
@187 Inscrutably Scudder:
There’s no way I would try to scrute you.
@Inscrutably Scudder: (With apologies to CCR)
♫ Just got home to Florida, lock the front door, oh boy
Got to sit down, take a rest on the porch
Imagination sets in, pretty soon I’m singing
Scrute, scrute, scrute, Nehemiah Scudder
@150 Sequitur: I accidentally clicked on Six Chix, not the other numeric strip. ? ? ?
@152 Garrison Skunk: That’s why I don’t purposely click on Six Chix.
@185 Sequitur: You ninja’d my response above. I’m leaving it there; I spent too much time inserting those emojis.
@Ukulele Ike: @Calvin’s Cardboard Box: Has it been established that Hugh has ever figured out how boinking works? It probably is Seth. Of course, if she tells Hugh that he’s going to be a father, he’ll believe her.
@Guillermo el chiclero: Re Crankshaft – Too bad it doesn’t land on Crankshaft’s head.
Re FC – Mothers know their kids, especially when the kids are morons.
@191 I speak Jive: on Crankshaft
It’ll probably land on Keesterman’s mailbox.
@Thelonious_Nick:
Clearly, they flew over from Mark Trail, tempted by
Ian’s beard as a potential nesting siteBrigman’s draftsmanship and the prospect of looking like things found in nature.FTFY
@Needless_Exposition: I remember hearing that Prince sued the Prince spaghetti sauce company because of a TV commercial they ran, but I couldn’t verify it. If it was an April Fool story, it got me.
Prince did seem to be a person with an extremely inflated opinion of himself, but gosh, he was talented.
@made of wince: Another one: Everybody Loves Raymond. We used to like that show and watched it every week. I recently watched several shows in a row, and all I could think was, “My God, these are unpleasant people.” On top of the constant bickering and insults, we’re also supposed to believe that a clueless buffoon is a professional sports journalist who can interview, report, and write columns on deadline. Especially since he never seemed to leave home.
@Calvin’s Cardboard Box: Re Xiulan whipping out the pregnancy test and announcing the results in the middle of a concert: One likely explanation- in addition to being narcissistic vipers, all the women in this strip are attention whores.
@Ukulele Ike: I would mail eleven dollars to have them both arrested, with one serving a life sentence on Alcatraz and the other in the same situation on Devil’s Island. And there won’t be any escaping, not with their stubby little legs.
If you’re getting surprise login verification messages, you might have bigger problems than lack of friends.
@Inspector Gotcha:
Well, let’s put it this way: I wasn’t really commenting on your comment. I chose to take it seriously in order to interpret the comic you were commenting on, but I was going off on a tangent with regards to your comment. And I’m not alone. Sometimes people even choose to deliberately misinterpret a comment to go off on a tangent.
MW: Ian: Not easily forgotten, at least by his wife.
Wilbur: Impossible to forget, no matter how hard you try.
Mary’s son: Who?
Shoe: Roz isn’t among those toasting MacNelly. I wonder if she’s an atheist or just an antitheist?
@190 Baja Gaijin: What happened to the freaking emojis? 🐤 🌿 💩
@Baja Gaijin: They went on a tangent.
9CL: 3,000 and counting, Hugh. But not upwards.
JP: Hey, it’s nothing Neddy hasn’t heard from her Klobuchar-esque agent. You don’t want to get caught out being a one-assassin pony.
SFx: How a GENTLEMAN shows up to a moderately high-end brothel.
@I speak Jive: #194
re. “Raymond” – you nailed it.
re. 9CL – you nailed it again.
*two thumbs up*
@Artist formerly known as Ben: Should I have spelled it “ath*ist”?
@Garrison Skunk: As Gloria Loring said, you take the good, you take the bad, subtract the good and there you have [the Schlockhorns]….
MW: As someone who read every page in THE LAST CONVERTIBLE (it was the only novel handy at a relative’s house years ago), I am willing to go along with the concept of carrying a torch for someone for many years, I guess. The point where I really must object is the point where the object of desire becomes Ian.
Dashing handsome charming Russ Currier? Well, okay. Lovely gallant appealing Chris Farris? Well, okay. But Ian? Given what we’ve seen of him and his personality and behavior? Ian is the old crush you really, really hope the friends you had back then will not remember.
@Baja Gaijin: Big surprise yesterday, however, the strip nearly approached funny.
(Though I will admit to being an easy mark when there are cats involved, especially sly or misbehaving cats.)
@Anonymous: It’s the hate-sex. They both enjoy the hate-sex.
@richardf8:
They must hate the enjoy-sex, then.
@I speak Jive: The Prince Spaghetti lawsuit was real, back in 1985, though it was apparently his management doing the C&D, not him. I remember it because Stan Freberg himself was responsible for it. I Googled it for you all.
@199 Baja Gaijin:
I had a problem yesterday with an emoji disappearing. I blame Uncle Lumpy. ☠
@Daisy: Thanks! :)
@Dr. Larry Erhardt: Thank you for finding that. I should have known that Stan Freberg created the commercial. And the article says that Prince himself thought the commercial was funny.
@Daisy: #155: The melonheads were also brattier in those early FC’s. I’ve followed that strip since I was a kid. As a child I liked it because the gags were easy to understand, and in the words of the late Bob Dole, I was there, I saw it happen, and I remember. In the mid or late 60’s the strip made a shift from the edgier and funnier to the insipid and cloyingly sweet. It wasn’t a gradual shift either. It happened practically overnight.
In the 60’s and 70’s there was a similar strip called The Smith Family, purportedly drawn by a Mr. and Mrs. Smith. The major difference with FC was it was multi-panel instead of single panel. The Cleveland Press carried it when I was growing up. It also made a sudden shift from funny to schmaltzy and poignant shortly after FC did. I kind of wonder if the syndicate told Mr. and Mrs. Smith to follow Bil Keane’s example.
Sally Forth/S4th: I still don’t follow how this family not only still has a roof over its head but has funds for summer vacations after being out of work for two years. I see people with more on the ball sleeping on the streets.
@213 Consul, the Almost Human:
Technically, Ted worked from home the past two years so he had an income. Sally was in and out of work. But still, a family that relied on two incomes could hardly afford an exotic vacation at this time especially after that collapsing gargoyles fiasco that apparently did major damage to their house. One day Hillary should have to explain to a future lover/husband why she has two permanent footprints embedded on her ass.
Zippy – “But Zippy… Andrew Lloyd Webber is still alive!”
“Sure, but his spirit died when that Cats movie came out.”
@215 Peanut Gallery:
Alice Cooper is also still alive. Cooper’s publicist at one time tried to keep Cooper’s love of golf a secret thinking it wouldn’t be good for the image of a shock rocker.
@Sequitur: And Cooper said, “Hey, it was good enough for Bing Crosby!”
@217 Peanut Gallery:
Heh, heh, heh!
Mary Worth: In bed, in bed, in bed, and in bed.
@219 Jimmy, Age 8:
Why are you still up? You should be in bed!
@Sequitur: Ted has to be much higher on the corporate food chain to afford even a small slice of their lifestyle. In addition, he’s dim even by corporate strategic sourcing’s appalling standards.
@Guillermo el chiclero: #212
That’s a good observation. I just Googled “The Smith Family” as I was unfamiliar with that comic. Kind of sweet and low-key, dealing with the familiar themes of life . I wonder too if the syndicates sensed that their readership preferred cartoons and stories that were more anodyne and reassuring. I remember when “Calvin and Hobbes” first came out, I disliked it intensely because Calvin was such a brat; it took about a decade before I saw the sheer genius of the strip, and now it’s considered to be one of the greatest comic creations of our time. “Family Circus” is just…meh…like stale tapioca pudding…
@Peanut Gallery: Bing Crosby undermined the System from within. It’s easy to be a “shock rocker”. It takes real talent to be a shock crooner.
♫
Or would you rather swing on a star,
Carry moonbeams round in a jar,
And be better off than you are,
Or, would you rather be a pig?
// See what I mean? What kid is going to want to be a pig when he or she grows up, listening to stuff like that?
@223 Ramblin’ Nehemiah Scudder, Folksongerator:
Hammy from Baby Blues.
MW: Vapid Toby Face Scoreboard Day Seventy-Two — Vapid 38, Non-Vapid 83
@Peanut Gallery: I came across a review of the CATS movie, and my spirit died a little just reading it.
@Sequitur: Thank you.
@223 Ramblin’ Nehemiah Scudder, Folksongerator: What kid is going to want to be a pig when he or she grows up? Wilbur Weston. 🐖
MT: *thinks about landscape fires she has seen and worked on* I surrender. Sure, why not. Yay for Mark.
GA: I know Scancarelli can draw reasonable children’s faces, which as far as I’m concerned makes this even worse.
CRANKSHAFT: At least it’s not a garden story. At least it’s not a garden story. At least…
@Ramblin’ Nehemiah Scudder, Folksongerator: only those who don’t care a feather or a fig.
“Ding!” “Dang.” is good though